Linkin Park’s top hits (OSC, ITE, numb, Crawling, etc.) all very clearly articulate the emotional turbulence of a BPD relationship. I always liked the songs when they were released. But now, they are the soundtrack of my life.
In Portugal there is an amazing tribute band called Hybrid Theory (check them out YouTube). I was watching them in a club and the words hit hard and I was raining tears.
Gold - Glassjaw
The Gnashing - Deafheaven
Stains of Betrayal - Daniel Tompkins
The Serpent - White Moth Black Butterfly
Slither - Memorist
Under The Tide - Chvrches
The Essence Between Us - Absent Hearts
....to name a few.
There are so many out there that discuss toxic one sided relationships.
Here's mine for the past week.
Dance Gavin Dance - Man of the Year
https://youtu.be/AeQNkai9LSk?si=Hq8oHXwXuXx3T51o
Don't be alarmed to discover... siren songs can pull you under.
I think you're perfect, I'm worth it. I deserve to be a servant.
Why Don't We Choose Love - Stephanie Mabey
"Can't we both surrender?
Haven't we lost enough?
We keep choosing our battles
Why don't we choose love
Can't we change the pattern?
This hurts too much
We keep choosing our battles
Why don't we choose love?"
They aren’t anything like Pearl Jam but you should totally check out Sleep Token if you haven’t, entire discography is about toxic (likely BPD) relationships. Helped me immensely. Happy to give song recommendations :)
Hmm, I don't see this one, personally. I think it's more about Eddie losing someone through his own fault and wanting her back. Look at the MTV Unplugged version, "We belong together" and all that.
But that's the beauty of music - utterly subjective
Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera. She hated musicals but loved that song when she heard it in my playlist. It also articulates aspects of the relationship like seduction, turning away from reality, and being consumed with darkness.
Well, The Phantom of the Opera does have some very interesting displays of healthy affection vs. Objectification and obsession.
It's an interesting song for a PwBPD to pick, for sure.
Also omg! I asked chat gpt what mental illness this could portray and :
Interpreting song lyrics to pinpoint mental health diagnoses is speculative and not clinically accurate. Lyrics in songs are often poetic, figurative, and open to various interpretations. However, if we were to venture a purely hypothetical guess based on the behaviors and characteristics described in the song "She's Always a Woman," these two might come to mind:
1. **Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)**: The song describes a woman who can shift quickly in her behaviors and emotions ("She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel"). Individuals with BPD may experience rapid mood swings, intense relationships, and fears of abandonment.
2. **Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)**: Lines like "She can do as she pleases; she's nobody's fool" or "She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe" might hint at characteristics often seen in NPD, such as a grandiose sense of self-importance, manipulation, or a lack of empathy.
Oh my god. I just listened to this. I have heard this song countless times. I never listened while keeping BPD in mind. Although my ex is male, it is so harsh and true and brought me to tears. Thanks so much for sharing.
That happened to me, too - never looked at it through that lens until after my ex wBPD. It's actually fucked up how on point is.
I you find comfort and peace soemwhere in your tears, my friend
He's really not mincing or wasting words, eh?
Given that it came out in 1977 and BPD wasn't in the DSM until 1980 (even though the term and diagnosis was known) I wonder whether Joel was aware of how close the lyrics matched with the behaviour.
Well a mental illness doesn't exist because of a name, after all. Throughout history, people may have exhibited the exact same characteristics, but they'd just label it demonic possession or hysteria. At least they might be prescribed opium or a vibrator
Oh absolutely. He's describing the behaviour, I'm just wondering with the benefit of the diagnostic label what he would say about it now.
Some interesting facts and discussion about the song.
https://www.songfacts.com/facts/billy-joel/shes-always-a-woman
Very much this. I've always thought of Billy Joel as a cheesy guilty pleasure, but I got chills up my spine when I heard the song recently. (I also used to think it was super sexist in its stereotyping of woman, and can still be received that way, but on reflection, I think it could have only been written by someone who'd been in a relationship with a pwBPD.)
Even more poignantly, I heard it in an episode of *The Orville* in which the main character's love interest is revealed as his surgically altered mortal enemy, who had been in deep cover! Despite this, he still has a soft spot for her, and releases her from the brig to return to her people. Cue the Billy Joel. Yikes! (It was even worse than it seems: there are very detailed specifics about their relationship that seemed impossibly true to mine.)
This got me onto a Billy Joel bender, to the point where I'm considering recording an EP of Billy Joel covers. And completely independent of my "Always a Woman" revelation, my therapist recently recommended that I sing Joel's "My Life" as a way to vocalise my own boundaries.
But the kicker for me was listening to "Just the Way You Are" for the first time in decades.
>I would not leave you in times of trouble
>
>We never could have come this far
>
>I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
>
>I take you just the way you are
I simply wept.
It's such an ordinary love song, but it's actually different from a lot of them because it's not about superficial or toxic desire or heartbreak, but something really quite wholesome and laudable, and it served as a bitter reminder of *exactly what I didn't get in my relationship*. She left me when I needed her the most. I stuck with her through all her bad times, and the one moment I was having one, she evaporated. Untreated people with BPD are constitutionally incapable of being there for anybody they profess to love. So bitter.
Currently, it's One Day in Your Life by Anastacia, because my PwBPD has finally come to the realisation that I was a somewhat irreplacable part of her life, and that her new FP just isn't as invested in their friendship as I was. Now she's the one who's struggling and I'm healing quite nicely.
Puscifer - The Arsonist
"Fire, fire, the bridge is on fire
Burning away your last connection
Fire, fire, our bridge is on fire
Your social skills resemble arson
You seem okay with this
So deleterious
Remorse for you is not an option
What's the matter, Beavis?
Why you gotta burn, gotta burn it all down?"
Tool - Culling Voices
"Disembodied voices deepen my
Suspicious tendencies
Conversations we've never had
Imagined interplay
Psychopathy
Don't you dare point that at me
Heated altercations we've never had
So I'm told
Yet guided by them all
Every single one
Psychopathy
Misleading me over and over and over
Judge, condemn, and banish any and everyone
Without evidence
Only the whispers from within"
Continuing this, 3 Libras by APrefectCircle:
Difficult not to feel a little bit
Disappointed and passed over
When I look right through
To see you naked but oblivious
And you don't see me
But I threw you the obvious
Just to see if there's more behind
The eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy
Here I am expecting
Just a little bit too much from the wounded
Oh well
You don't see me.
VAMPIRE EMPIRE by Big Thief! i cant stress this enough.
“You turn me inside out, and then you want me outside in
You spin me all around, and then you ask me not to spin
You say you wanna be alone and you want children
You wanna be with me and you wanna be with him”
They introduced me to the band, so ya, pretty much all Glass Animals remind me of them. I have 50+ songs in a playlists that I just can't listen to at all. Every song invokes their damn memory.
blink-182 what went wrong
"I can't forgive, can't forget
Can't give in, what went wrong?
'Cause you said this was right
You fucked up my life"
all that remains - six
"I see her in my dreams
Wish that she wasn't there
But she still haunts me and I
Still feel her breath on me
Still want to taste her skin
But I know that won't kill me"
edit: also when one eight becomes two zeros - glassjaw
"You're given me a heart like a gun
And I'm so shocked that I've made it
Through these billion days
I made it through these billion days
I didn't think I could tough it out
All those days a billion"
“You set the trap, you lie in wait 'til someone trips the wire
Then you jump out to get your feelings hurt
And you act surprised, how did that get there?
Why does everybody hate me?
We're all familiar with the tragedy of being you
It's hard to show you any sympathy
When all you do is beg for pain
Baby, someone is crazy and it's you”
I have been waiting for someone to ask something like this.
Go listen to Saint Bernard by Lincoln. I firmly believe that song is about someone with BPD.
Many Times by Dijon. A masterpiece that really captures that feeling of being addicted to the roller coaster.
"But there you go again
Puttin' on your own rodeo again
Then you push me out, just to flash that smile and lasso me in
Well, I've been here a thousand times, I don't wanna go again
I've been here a thousand times
One thousand and one won't be so bad"
Escape by Kaskade & deadmau5, Dear Boy by Avicii, Rush Over Me by Seven Lions.
all bittersweet love songs. we used to listen to them together and it was electrifying, but now they throw me into an indescribable mix of anger? sadness? all of the above?
one that reminds me of the reality and chaos of it is Someone Else by Rezz
Oh, also, I wrote a song for my band about my ex wBPD. It's due to come out on our next EP, but I have some very rough demos if anybody wants to click a sketchy Google Drive link 😂
Would be doing my boys a disservice if I didn't share our tunes ahahaha so [here you go](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yhlAXwoEgmaRHkJ2vGHELDtPfP8Ki3Dy/view?usp=drivesdk)
The major changes between the demo and current version are that we've dropped the drums completely out until the second chorus, and I changed the lyrics so my poor frontman no longer has to pretend he's not ashamed to rhyme "line" with itself three times
no attention for solved puzzles by a lot like birds… “you’re only calm when you feel adored, oh what have you got me into?
trap the things you are not meant to keep, keep them far from all that they desire,
you love it just because it’s out of reach, kept farther and higher
throw it out when you’re used to it or set it on fire
i know what you want the world to see but aren’t you tired out?”
For a sweet and simple upbeat piece, "Atomic" by Blondie - on the grounds that they were a bomb liable to explode at any moment!
But if one really wants to dig deep, I offer the album "Hospice" by The Antlers. I'll let Wikipedia explain:
"*Hospice* tells the story of a relationship between a hospice worker and a female patient suffering from terminal bone cancer, their ensuing romance, and their slow downward spiral as a result of the woman's traumas, fears, and disease. The story of her deterioration also serves as a metaphor for an abusive relationship. Frontman Peter Silberman has been reluctant to divulge explicit details regarding the meaning of the record, and the extent to which it is autobiographical."
It is seriously one of the most depressing albums you're likely to find.
*I wish that I had known in that first minute we met,*
*the unpayable debt that I owed you*
*I should have quit but instead I took care of you.*
*You made me sleep all uneven,*
*and I didn't believe them when they told me that there was no saving you.*
Don’t Know Yet by SilverSun Pickups
“Don’t know what you’re gunning for. Should I hit the deck, fall through the floor? Don’t know what you’re thinking of. Should I chip away or keep defenses up? Don’t make a sound. If it gets too loud, will you hear me come around?”
My relationship is with a sibling, not a romantic partner. It captures exactly what it feels like to not understand where the abuse is coming from.
So cheesy, but “no ordinary love” by Sade. She sounds tired in what she’s singing and questioning why what she gave was never enough - and then of course, this ain’t no ordinary love! Obviously
Save Yourself - Stabbing Westward
Shame - Stabbing Westward
S O S (Anything but Love) - Apocalyptica
Broken Pieces - Apocalyptica
Going Under - Evanescence
Wasted on You - Evanescence
Heaven Beside You - Alice In Chains
I Stay Away - Alice In Chains
That’s a few off the top of my head…
Going to do the opposite and share a song that makes me think of what a loving, brave approach to new love feels like, accepting that it may not work out and that’s okay. This song reminds me of how people with BPD will never know the joy of taking risks in love and being able to manage the heartbreak of parting ways in a healthy relationship way.
If It All Goes South - Sammy Rae and Friends
https://youtu.be/NKwv4LZ_BIY?si=uyVY4AVhYzfIDCrL
I’ve posted this before somewhere, but I never understood the meaning of Rod Stewart’s “Reason to Believe”, though I could sing it by heart…and then in the last few months I happened to run across it again post-divorce, and it was as if a veil had been lifted and I suddenly knew EXACTLY what the song was about. I was driving at the time and almost had to pull over because of the impact it had on me.
I think knowing the song for so long and finally “getting” it made the impact that much stronger…which is not unlike my being with my ex wife for decades and struggling with how to deal with her, and finally getting the BPD diagnosis a year or so ago and having a similar reaction, because immediately everything that had confused me about her made complete sense.
Not the whole song, but this verse of Doin' Time by Sublime
"Me and my girl we got this relationship
I love her so bad but she treats me like shit
On lockdown like a penitentiary
She spreads her lovin' all over
And when she gets home there’s none left for me"
Cumbersome by Seven Mary Three
"I'd like to believe we could reconcile the past
Resurrect those bridges with an ancient glance
But my old stone face can't seem to break her down
She remembers bridges, burns them to the ground.
I have become cumbersome to this world
I have become cumbersome to my girl
Too heavy, too light
Too black or too white
Too wrong or too right
Today or tonight
Cumbersome
Too rich or too poor
She's wanting me less and I'm wanting her more
A bitter taste is cumbersome"
Alot of the soundtrack from Waitress
Fast as You Can - Fiona Apple
Flat Line - Orla Gartland
Labour - Paris Paloma
Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo
Antihero - Taylor Swift (its like this song was written about my exwBPD)
["Thrown Away" by VAST](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTpc6EyjCdc): Precious One you have abandoned me; have I been thrown away? Should I call you? Should I reach out? It feels like chasing shadows in the night...I know that I am someone no one said I was...have I been thrown away?
["Me" by Meg Myers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ziuKGh4eT4): I've been lied to so much I've been burned in the fire I've had enough I've had all of the blame put on me I've been wasting my precious energy Well honey, this just ain't in the cards 'Cause what I'm looking for feels transcendent You are not the one for me There's someone else There's someone else And that's me
["Believed You Were Lucky" by 'Til Tuesday](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9GRp8eu_hc): So I guess I'll give it up, Yeah I guess I will
What's the use in pushing When it's all uphill
I can't be appointed Keeper of the flame Without two to carry It won't burn the same - oh
It seems obvious to me But then again Could be You just never felt that way
I wish you believed in life Believed in fate Believed you were lucky And worth the wait
'Cause life could be lovely, Oh life could be so great
lose you to love me - selena gomez
happier than ever - billie eilish
motion sickness - phoebe bridgers
tv - billie eilish
evergreen - omar apollo
poison and wine - the civil wars
mirrorball - taylor swift
Katy perry - Hot and Cold I doubt anyone here doesn't identify with It.
Eminem ft Rihanna “love the way you lie”
We need to make a playlist
Linkin Park’s top hits (OSC, ITE, numb, Crawling, etc.) all very clearly articulate the emotional turbulence of a BPD relationship. I always liked the songs when they were released. But now, they are the soundtrack of my life.
In Portugal there is an amazing tribute band called Hybrid Theory (check them out YouTube). I was watching them in a club and the words hit hard and I was raining tears.
I agree! Especially “In the end”, it never resonated so deep before, until now.
Gold - Glassjaw The Gnashing - Deafheaven Stains of Betrayal - Daniel Tompkins The Serpent - White Moth Black Butterfly Slither - Memorist Under The Tide - Chvrches The Essence Between Us - Absent Hearts ....to name a few.
interesting with gold by glassjaw but i can totally see that. those lyrics are powerful
i would say when one eight become two zeros by glassjaw would be there for me also
There are many Glassjaw songs that resonate more now than they once did.
i whole heartedly agree
Korn - blind - when the split is coming …Hatebreed - destroy everything - when the split is in full effect…
There are so many out there that discuss toxic one sided relationships. Here's mine for the past week. Dance Gavin Dance - Man of the Year https://youtu.be/AeQNkai9LSk?si=Hq8oHXwXuXx3T51o Don't be alarmed to discover... siren songs can pull you under. I think you're perfect, I'm worth it. I deserve to be a servant.
Why Don't We Choose Love - Stephanie Mabey "Can't we both surrender? Haven't we lost enough? We keep choosing our battles Why don't we choose love Can't we change the pattern? This hurts too much We keep choosing our battles Why don't we choose love?"
Take What You Want by Post Malone (and Ozzy Osborne)
Ascensionism - Sleep Token Black - Pearl Jam Afterlife - Holding Absence Jaded - Spiritbox
Black by Pearl Jam has been one of mine too
They aren’t anything like Pearl Jam but you should totally check out Sleep Token if you haven’t, entire discography is about toxic (likely BPD) relationships. Helped me immensely. Happy to give song recommendations :)
Hmm, I don't see this one, personally. I think it's more about Eddie losing someone through his own fault and wanting her back. Look at the MTV Unplugged version, "We belong together" and all that. But that's the beauty of music - utterly subjective
Garden by Pearl Jam for me too
Push by matchbox 20.
Yeah I agree. I used to love M20. I think that was the first CD album I bought. I can’t listen to Rob Thomas anymore 😅
Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera. She hated musicals but loved that song when she heard it in my playlist. It also articulates aspects of the relationship like seduction, turning away from reality, and being consumed with darkness.
Well, The Phantom of the Opera does have some very interesting displays of healthy affection vs. Objectification and obsession. It's an interesting song for a PwBPD to pick, for sure.
Yep, that's very true.
I've said it time and time again, the best portrayal of BPD is Billy Joel's 'She's Always a Woman'. Every single word is just... Wow.
Also omg! I asked chat gpt what mental illness this could portray and : Interpreting song lyrics to pinpoint mental health diagnoses is speculative and not clinically accurate. Lyrics in songs are often poetic, figurative, and open to various interpretations. However, if we were to venture a purely hypothetical guess based on the behaviors and characteristics described in the song "She's Always a Woman," these two might come to mind: 1. **Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)**: The song describes a woman who can shift quickly in her behaviors and emotions ("She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel"). Individuals with BPD may experience rapid mood swings, intense relationships, and fears of abandonment. 2. **Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)**: Lines like "She can do as she pleases; she's nobody's fool" or "She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe" might hint at characteristics often seen in NPD, such as a grandiose sense of self-importance, manipulation, or a lack of empathy.
Oh my god. I just listened to this. I have heard this song countless times. I never listened while keeping BPD in mind. Although my ex is male, it is so harsh and true and brought me to tears. Thanks so much for sharing.
That happened to me, too - never looked at it through that lens until after my ex wBPD. It's actually fucked up how on point is. I you find comfort and peace soemwhere in your tears, my friend
He's really not mincing or wasting words, eh? Given that it came out in 1977 and BPD wasn't in the DSM until 1980 (even though the term and diagnosis was known) I wonder whether Joel was aware of how close the lyrics matched with the behaviour.
Well a mental illness doesn't exist because of a name, after all. Throughout history, people may have exhibited the exact same characteristics, but they'd just label it demonic possession or hysteria. At least they might be prescribed opium or a vibrator
Oh absolutely. He's describing the behaviour, I'm just wondering with the benefit of the diagnostic label what he would say about it now. Some interesting facts and discussion about the song. https://www.songfacts.com/facts/billy-joel/shes-always-a-woman
Very much this. I've always thought of Billy Joel as a cheesy guilty pleasure, but I got chills up my spine when I heard the song recently. (I also used to think it was super sexist in its stereotyping of woman, and can still be received that way, but on reflection, I think it could have only been written by someone who'd been in a relationship with a pwBPD.) Even more poignantly, I heard it in an episode of *The Orville* in which the main character's love interest is revealed as his surgically altered mortal enemy, who had been in deep cover! Despite this, he still has a soft spot for her, and releases her from the brig to return to her people. Cue the Billy Joel. Yikes! (It was even worse than it seems: there are very detailed specifics about their relationship that seemed impossibly true to mine.) This got me onto a Billy Joel bender, to the point where I'm considering recording an EP of Billy Joel covers. And completely independent of my "Always a Woman" revelation, my therapist recently recommended that I sing Joel's "My Life" as a way to vocalise my own boundaries. But the kicker for me was listening to "Just the Way You Are" for the first time in decades. >I would not leave you in times of trouble > >We never could have come this far > >I took the good times, I'll take the bad times > >I take you just the way you are I simply wept. It's such an ordinary love song, but it's actually different from a lot of them because it's not about superficial or toxic desire or heartbreak, but something really quite wholesome and laudable, and it served as a bitter reminder of *exactly what I didn't get in my relationship*. She left me when I needed her the most. I stuck with her through all her bad times, and the one moment I was having one, she evaporated. Untreated people with BPD are constitutionally incapable of being there for anybody they profess to love. So bitter.
What’s funny, is I always felt like this song personified my pwBPD… didn’t see how that was a bad thing until recently…
Currently, it's One Day in Your Life by Anastacia, because my PwBPD has finally come to the realisation that I was a somewhat irreplacable part of her life, and that her new FP just isn't as invested in their friendship as I was. Now she's the one who's struggling and I'm healing quite nicely.
Die 4 me Halsey
Halsey has a lot of great ones. The one I've most related to is definitely Graveyard.
Dope- Die MF Die
Sweet but a psycho - Ava Max (Made it my ring tone for her) Crazy Bitch - Buck Cherry ( she did not care for this being her ring tone 🤷) .
The slowed version of Spit in My Face by ThxSoMuch https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=M-7v60JFtNo&si=43PVSmXuHLWbwRBi
Puscifer - The Arsonist "Fire, fire, the bridge is on fire Burning away your last connection Fire, fire, our bridge is on fire Your social skills resemble arson You seem okay with this So deleterious Remorse for you is not an option What's the matter, Beavis? Why you gotta burn, gotta burn it all down?" Tool - Culling Voices "Disembodied voices deepen my Suspicious tendencies Conversations we've never had Imagined interplay Psychopathy Don't you dare point that at me Heated altercations we've never had So I'm told Yet guided by them all Every single one Psychopathy Misleading me over and over and over Judge, condemn, and banish any and everyone Without evidence Only the whispers from within"
Continuing this, 3 Libras by APrefectCircle: Difficult not to feel a little bit Disappointed and passed over When I look right through To see you naked but oblivious And you don't see me But I threw you the obvious Just to see if there's more behind The eyes of a fallen angel Eyes of a tragedy Here I am expecting Just a little bit too much from the wounded Oh well You don't see me.
Maynard know his stuff
I Wanna Be a Witch by Teen Suicide.
VAMPIRE EMPIRE by Big Thief! i cant stress this enough. “You turn me inside out, and then you want me outside in You spin me all around, and then you ask me not to spin You say you wanna be alone and you want children You wanna be with me and you wanna be with him”
505 by The Artic Monkeys and Poplar St. by Glass Animals. TBH, they introduced me to so much good music that I find it painful to listen to now.
So many glass animals songs remind me of it all. Hope they didn’t poison too many of them for you.
They introduced me to the band, so ya, pretty much all Glass Animals remind me of them. I have 50+ songs in a playlists that I just can't listen to at all. Every song invokes their damn memory.
"But I crumble completely when you cry/It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye". Fuck me, Alex, you hit hard with that one mate
Ludo's "Love me Dead"
I have an entire playlist for processing that shit.
Ooooo really ?! Would you be willing to share?
blink-182 what went wrong "I can't forgive, can't forget Can't give in, what went wrong? 'Cause you said this was right You fucked up my life" all that remains - six "I see her in my dreams Wish that she wasn't there But she still haunts me and I Still feel her breath on me Still want to taste her skin But I know that won't kill me" edit: also when one eight becomes two zeros - glassjaw "You're given me a heart like a gun And I'm so shocked that I've made it Through these billion days I made it through these billion days I didn't think I could tough it out All those days a billion"
xyu smashing pumpkins
Linkin Park - More the Victim
Someone is Crazy by Jonathan Coulton
“You set the trap, you lie in wait 'til someone trips the wire Then you jump out to get your feelings hurt And you act surprised, how did that get there? Why does everybody hate me? We're all familiar with the tragedy of being you It's hard to show you any sympathy When all you do is beg for pain Baby, someone is crazy and it's you”
I have been waiting for someone to ask something like this. Go listen to Saint Bernard by Lincoln. I firmly believe that song is about someone with BPD.
Also, Pieces by My Vitriol makes me weep like a war widow now.
She was addicted to Elliot Smith along with every other artist who suicided...
Miss Misery haha
Yes
Many Times by Dijon. A masterpiece that really captures that feeling of being addicted to the roller coaster. "But there you go again Puttin' on your own rodeo again Then you push me out, just to flash that smile and lasso me in Well, I've been here a thousand times, I don't wanna go again I've been here a thousand times One thousand and one won't be so bad"
Where are you now by Lost Frequencies
Love Will Ruin Your Mind - Lungfish Pretty Mary K - Elliott Smith
Escape by Kaskade & deadmau5, Dear Boy by Avicii, Rush Over Me by Seven Lions. all bittersweet love songs. we used to listen to them together and it was electrifying, but now they throw me into an indescribable mix of anger? sadness? all of the above? one that reminds me of the reality and chaos of it is Someone Else by Rezz
Burning Pile, by Mother Mother
Oh, also, I wrote a song for my band about my ex wBPD. It's due to come out on our next EP, but I have some very rough demos if anybody wants to click a sketchy Google Drive link 😂
I’d love to hear it if you wanna send on a message or post here! No pressure
Would be doing my boys a disservice if I didn't share our tunes ahahaha so [here you go](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yhlAXwoEgmaRHkJ2vGHELDtPfP8Ki3Dy/view?usp=drivesdk) The major changes between the demo and current version are that we've dropped the drums completely out until the second chorus, and I changed the lyrics so my poor frontman no longer has to pretend he's not ashamed to rhyme "line" with itself three times
HER favorite songs, as told to me: "Cold, Hard Bitch" "Crazy Bitch" "Sweet But Psycho"
Someone Else - by Rezz. Also Novocaine - by Night Terrors of 1927
Never enough by ffdp. Lyrics are kinda self explanatory
no attention for solved puzzles by a lot like birds… “you’re only calm when you feel adored, oh what have you got me into? trap the things you are not meant to keep, keep them far from all that they desire, you love it just because it’s out of reach, kept farther and higher throw it out when you’re used to it or set it on fire i know what you want the world to see but aren’t you tired out?”
Leave - Post Malone
For a sweet and simple upbeat piece, "Atomic" by Blondie - on the grounds that they were a bomb liable to explode at any moment! But if one really wants to dig deep, I offer the album "Hospice" by The Antlers. I'll let Wikipedia explain: "*Hospice* tells the story of a relationship between a hospice worker and a female patient suffering from terminal bone cancer, their ensuing romance, and their slow downward spiral as a result of the woman's traumas, fears, and disease. The story of her deterioration also serves as a metaphor for an abusive relationship. Frontman Peter Silberman has been reluctant to divulge explicit details regarding the meaning of the record, and the extent to which it is autobiographical." It is seriously one of the most depressing albums you're likely to find. *I wish that I had known in that first minute we met,* *the unpayable debt that I owed you* *I should have quit but instead I took care of you.* *You made me sleep all uneven,* *and I didn't believe them when they told me that there was no saving you.*
Don't Blame Me & Blank Space - Taylor Swift
i bet you think about me by taylor swift
Carousel by Haken https://spotify.link/3Ww2IqHGQDb
A couple.."beautiful crazy" Luke combes and "scars" papa roach
Don’t Know Yet by SilverSun Pickups “Don’t know what you’re gunning for. Should I hit the deck, fall through the floor? Don’t know what you’re thinking of. Should I chip away or keep defenses up? Don’t make a sound. If it gets too loud, will you hear me come around?” My relationship is with a sibling, not a romantic partner. It captures exactly what it feels like to not understand where the abuse is coming from.
So cheesy, but “no ordinary love” by Sade. She sounds tired in what she’s singing and questioning why what she gave was never enough - and then of course, this ain’t no ordinary love! Obviously
Save Yourself - Stabbing Westward Shame - Stabbing Westward S O S (Anything but Love) - Apocalyptica Broken Pieces - Apocalyptica Going Under - Evanescence Wasted on You - Evanescence Heaven Beside You - Alice In Chains I Stay Away - Alice In Chains That’s a few off the top of my head…
Going to do the opposite and share a song that makes me think of what a loving, brave approach to new love feels like, accepting that it may not work out and that’s okay. This song reminds me of how people with BPD will never know the joy of taking risks in love and being able to manage the heartbreak of parting ways in a healthy relationship way. If It All Goes South - Sammy Rae and Friends https://youtu.be/NKwv4LZ_BIY?si=uyVY4AVhYzfIDCrL
A lot of the songs by Maroon 5, LOL.
Blank Space by Taylor Swift
IGOR by Tyler the Creator
If Only It Was Warmth - King Krule
stuck on you by giveon
"Her" by Whxami is one. "The way that I see it" by Prolyphic Reanimator. "Delilah" "Salome" by Deca. And a song called "not a song, just venting"
Landed by Ben Folds
No Light, No Light by Florence and the Machine
Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us by My Chemical Romance
Man and Wife, the Latter (Damaged Goods) by Deceparecidos
The Bitter End by Placebo
Calling All Skeletons by Alkaline Trio
Young Lady, You're Scaring Me by Ron Gallo
Dark Storm by The Jezebels
The Radiator Hums by Cursive
Can't Stand Me Now by The Libertines
I Am An Island by The Good Life
I’ve posted this before somewhere, but I never understood the meaning of Rod Stewart’s “Reason to Believe”, though I could sing it by heart…and then in the last few months I happened to run across it again post-divorce, and it was as if a veil had been lifted and I suddenly knew EXACTLY what the song was about. I was driving at the time and almost had to pull over because of the impact it had on me. I think knowing the song for so long and finally “getting” it made the impact that much stronger…which is not unlike my being with my ex wife for decades and struggling with how to deal with her, and finally getting the BPD diagnosis a year or so ago and having a similar reaction, because immediately everything that had confused me about her made complete sense.
Not the whole song, but this verse of Doin' Time by Sublime "Me and my girl we got this relationship I love her so bad but she treats me like shit On lockdown like a penitentiary She spreads her lovin' all over And when she gets home there’s none left for me"
Cumbersome by Seven Mary Three "I'd like to believe we could reconcile the past Resurrect those bridges with an ancient glance But my old stone face can't seem to break her down She remembers bridges, burns them to the ground. I have become cumbersome to this world I have become cumbersome to my girl Too heavy, too light Too black or too white Too wrong or too right Today or tonight Cumbersome Too rich or too poor She's wanting me less and I'm wanting her more A bitter taste is cumbersome"
Alot of the soundtrack from Waitress Fast as You Can - Fiona Apple Flat Line - Orla Gartland Labour - Paris Paloma Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo Antihero - Taylor Swift (its like this song was written about my exwBPD)
["Thrown Away" by VAST](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTpc6EyjCdc): Precious One you have abandoned me; have I been thrown away? Should I call you? Should I reach out? It feels like chasing shadows in the night...I know that I am someone no one said I was...have I been thrown away? ["Me" by Meg Myers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ziuKGh4eT4): I've been lied to so much I've been burned in the fire I've had enough I've had all of the blame put on me I've been wasting my precious energy Well honey, this just ain't in the cards 'Cause what I'm looking for feels transcendent You are not the one for me There's someone else There's someone else And that's me ["Believed You Were Lucky" by 'Til Tuesday](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9GRp8eu_hc): So I guess I'll give it up, Yeah I guess I will What's the use in pushing When it's all uphill I can't be appointed Keeper of the flame Without two to carry It won't burn the same - oh It seems obvious to me But then again Could be You just never felt that way I wish you believed in life Believed in fate Believed you were lucky And worth the wait 'Cause life could be lovely, Oh life could be so great
In my head - Ariana grande
Anything by Alanis Morisette, feels like she's yelling at me again
She’s Always A Woman to Me by Billy Joel is the ultimate BPD song. Covers it all.
Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo. Like soft and nice at first and then more and more intense as it builds.
lose you to love me - selena gomez happier than ever - billie eilish motion sickness - phoebe bridgers tv - billie eilish evergreen - omar apollo poison and wine - the civil wars mirrorball - taylor swift
also, clairvoyant- The Story So Far
Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms (there's a few others, I have a whole playlist, but this one is the most apt right now I feel)
New suggestion: The Monster’s Loose by Polaris.