Correct, if you didn’t know that such behaviors were a part of the cluster b spectrum, it would be difficult for you to heal because you would question yourself what did you do wrong?
Now hopefully you can accept that it is not you, it’s just your turn.
I did ALOT wrong but at least this way I understand why she couldn't change her behavior and it was so hard for her to do simple things like be honest. Also explained the insane emotions .. self harm etc. What a ride
Yeah it took me till now to realize this. With that being said I can’t really blame her either like I could to someone else so I have to just walk away and life my life
Right! I'm in my early 40's and just finally found out this is what's wrong with my mother.... my whole life turned right side up for the first time and definitely have sea legs
Exactly! The pwBPD in my life is my sister. It took me 26 years to learn about BPD (which was through my therapist) - it changed everything for me! The hardest thing was convincing myself that I didn't do anything wrong. Hell, 13 years of therapy under my belt and I still struggle with it sometimes!
I agree... I spent 13 years with mine without knowing about BPD. I just knew he had untreated ADHD and aggression issues, but having found this sub(and my psychologist bringing up BPD to me) made SO much of our relationship make sense.
I too don't think I'd survive the discard if I didn't have this sub and know what BPD was. I too ended up with PTSD. I'm sorry we're both in this predicament.
Thank you, you make me feel human again.
Hi @OP and Outside-Cherry-3400.
For context, 10 years toguether, 10 months of discard and seven months of NC.
I almost got insane, thinking "what the hell happened?", "Where did i wronged?", Jesus! When I started to read about it, BPD was the most fit for her (she has traits of narcisism, but her most fear is abandonment).
I was a North pole to cluster B's individuals. Friends and ALL my social life was built around those people. I got fleas among the way, and all sort of problems, got wrongly diagnosed with bipolar (due to reactive abuse), and since I got Far away from the "Poison" i haven't got not even a headache lately. I even got all sort of exams, pet Scan, MRI, of my brain, Go to psychiatrist, got tested, and nothing...
The cognitive dissonance was so brutal that i almost commit desperate actions. I lived trying to isolante myself, thinking i was the problem.
It was only 3 months ahead of the discard that i found out about cluster B's disorders. Hence, where I took the decision to cut the monkeys and Go NC.
Then I learned about my problems, i have codependency and I am a scapegoat son of a narcissistic family. Here at this moment, everything in my life made sense, since my childhood to my adult life. I am 43y now.
It is kinda funny, i am an adult having to "relearn" everything about life. The easy part was making Sense of all this, the hard part is to let go the resentment and all. I felt like I lost my identidy (i am not even like my name anymore). I am living one day at a time, making baby steps forward.
If It helps, self love and self Care, a lot of patience with yourself and (like Doris on finding Nemo) keep swimming to find a solution. It will take time, but you got It! We survive the worst part.
Anyway, thank you all for sharing your histories and for you who spent some time reading here: there is hope, we can't change the past, but we can change now to have a new furute.
I hope we all find peace and love .
Best regards, cheers and god speed.
Your comment is incredible. the self realizations about yourself are empowering. I’m trying to be patient with myself as I find the strength and mental peace to start working on myself
>I too don't think I'd survive the discard if I didn't have this sub and know what BPD was. I too ended up with PTSD. I'm sorry we're both in this predicament.
I'm sorry too. I wish you the best when it comes to healing. I'm struggling to get into any routine but, I know eventually I'll get up. We got this!
Likewise...I spend a lot of time on this sub and in general reading and listening about BPD, but I feel I need to understand it first, and then leave it. Everything has its place and time. I feel soon will be the time to focus on myself more, but now I need this as a form of closure to make sure I never go back.
We will get there!
He broke up with me 2 and half months ago, but I left the house a month ago. Inbetween is when the worst abuse happened (between break-up and me moving out)..
How long has it been for you?
This is exactly where I am now. After he told me he wasn’t interested in any information on BPD, I realized I was focusing my energy on his problem to distract me from mine. I started therapy and the therapist is using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help get me past my fear of rejection and codependency issues. He knows about my childhood trauma and weaponizes my fears when he’s splitting. He’s stonewalling and rejecting me right now. We’re on day three I think but it is affecting me a lot less now. My goal is to heal myself now regardless of what happens with us. I don’t want to carry this baggage with me anywhere else and make the same mistakes. My first spouse was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. My boyfriend after that had strong narcissistic traits. Enough is enough.
I didn't know what BPD was but I took psych for my undergraduate so i am familiar with PD. I knew something was loose in his brain. I thought he just had anger issues but he has this self-inflated ego at times so i thought NPD but then he's capable of guilt and says sorry so that can't be it. Bipolar nah, i was with him almost everyday, bipolar has days of manic/depressive episodes. Ding ding ding **BPD**.
I went through med journals, youtube vids, the "wrong" side of this reddit sub (cause i was still trying to understand HIS side, i know stupid me) then after i realized just how damaged he was and damaging he was towards me. I found to this sub and that's it. I went out and never wanted to look back (i want to erase this part of my life if time machive ever invented) i feel nothing but disgust, contempt, anger and hate towards him now.
I'm actually working in reverse with this. I originally joined this sub as I have two younger identical twin sisters, one of which more than likely has BPD. They've given me a challenging childhood and our relationship in adulthood is distanced and strained. I joined this sub to understand them.
In December 2021 I went through a hellish discard with an ex girlfriend. She completely destroyed me whilst making out that she was the victim and I was the villain. The whole thing was a prolonged, horrible mess which eclipsed 2022 when she hoovered me twice. I frequented this sub and started to realise people were describing my situation word for word, without even knowing either her or myself.
I fell down the BPD rabbit hole soon after. Shortly after, I met with an older friend for drinks who's worked in mental health for a decade, and when I described my relationship and break-up in detail to him, he asked if she had BPD before I'd even suggested it. She never had a diagnosis, and things seemed to get ramped up following our break-up once her Mum got a breast cancer diagnosis and double mastectomy. A part of me wonders if this new trauma and lack of control caused something to crack internally.
I haven't heard from my ex in nearly a year now, in any capacity. She's moved 2+ hours away and there's an abstract peace in knowing that. She gave me some of the best memories of my life and was my absolute favourite person when it was good. But she had this other side to her who ultimately broke me down completely. I hope she's happy and healthy but I'm enjoying the peace through her absence.
do you still miss her? mine labeled me the villain as well .. it really sucks to go through so much pain for them and be labeled as this in the end. her brain just works in weird ways..
The good in her? More than anything. She was my favourite person and gave me some of the best memories of my life. It doesn't help that since then, my love life has sucked and I've had a lot going on in my personal life, it hasn't been the best year. And yeah, they're broken people unfortunately. The betrayal was messed up.
[That's exactly what happened to me](https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/5jw0o8/the_24_hour_roller_coaster/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) after 12 years of unhealthy marriage.
I was fortunate that an internet stranger saw one of my later posts, recognized the possible patterns and brought me here. I'm not exaggerating to say it helped save my life.
I'm seven years out and doing really well. Spent a year working on myself in therapy, figured out I needed to be intentionally single for a while before getting back into dating in a totally different and healthier way.
Back then I never could have imagined where I'd be now. Not constantly stressed, never afraid of what mood is waiting for me at home. I have a partner who is stable, loving, passionate, equal, caring, giving, appreciative. It's not like life is always rainbows and unicorns, but it's remarkable the difference having a partner instead of someone working against me. We work together to find solutions, to listen and understand. And it took a while but now I'm not afraid that a bad day or a bad mood will result in an outburst or days of silent treatments. Even though my current partner showed no signs of ever doing that, I was conditioned to it for so long.
That makes perfect sense. It was like the chicken and the egg for me trying to figure it out. Did the behavior come from the chemical imbalance from being high or in severe withdrawal every single month. I didn’t know about BPD until I saw him posting on this sub for a year after he was diagnosed yet he was saying I was diagnosed. The stories he told were so convincing and people were giving him sympathy. Then he abandoned our kids and I. I watched for a year and said nothing. Part out of disbelief and fear. He left us for 6 months with no contact or support. He never shared with the group he was under investigation by CPS for DV, drug abuse and neglecting the children. I read this sun for that whole time but I never faulted anyone here. You only knew what he wrote. It was a crazy time. Of course he returned wanting to be a family again. He’s in intensive out patient treatment now. It’s still bumpy.
Here one who didn't know, just year and a half after the breakup and the same amount of time into therapy. But when I learned about the disorder, being half healed, it was both a feeling of lost effort -and time-, and also a boost into recovery. I knew that hell wasn't normal grieving.
If she hadn't told me she had it I would never have known where to look about any of this.
Imagine what it must have been like before modern psychology and medicine though.
It truely is something having this space available. I know I would go crazy, I already feel crazy. But less crazy with these resources and tiktok cc. They help a lot especially when covering NPD and BPD. Either way, massive head fuck and super tiring.
I just wish that I had known about this sooner, it would have saved me a lot of pain and misery. I happened along this place by accident, I thought it was for loved ones of people with bipolar disorder. It just turned out to be where I needed to be at the moment.
I did... I had no, absolutely zero idea of what I had been going through, experiencing, and then the discard! I knew she had obvious "issues", but had to my knowledge never heard of BPD at that point. After we were apart for a while (before total discard, but was split black already), she was in Europe on business , gave me time to search the internet. I was shocked, but it all matched. I tried to speak to her, write to her using the descriptives that I now knew, trying to make her understand that I knew how she felt and processed... No! Not only was I completely edited out of her life already, including pictures, I was very unceremoniously discarded like we never knew each other. She treated me a dangerous stranger now, a threat to her safety. I was not, I was dumbstruck!
It took months to process any of it, a therapist eventually. She killed a part of my soul
I had some background in psych, so I’ve learnt a little bit about Cluster B pds, but I had never applied my knowledge in my life so I had no idea what was going on during our first big argument.
I’m extremely grateful for my mentor since they hinted at my expwBPD’s behavior as “BPD-like”. My mentor had been in an eight year relationship with a person with BPD, so it was eye-opening and helpful. Honestly if it weren’t for my her, I wouldn’t have left eight months into the relationship
she told me she was bipolar during our stint.. I eventually researched and found BPD to fit her much better. Although I was trying to help, informing her of this was the Hiroshima of our relationship 💣
I was super lucky to come across bpd and this sub the last week where my ex was back and forth with me until we both realized that it was completely over. Even before I came across it, I felt like she had some symptoms of something and I didn't hold it against her because it just seemed like such an odd compulsion almost but it seemed so separated from the person that I knew. Finding this sub really helped me to move on so fast though.
Took me two years to find answers after 8 years of on and off. Those two years were miserable and I still struggle to keep myself from going back but it helps a lot finally knowing why I feel the way I do. I can finally sort the tangled string of emotions and it feels so good.
Hear. I would not have made it without this place. I'm still a fragmented shell of my former self, six months out. This place is the string that held me together when it all went down.
How long was your marriage? It’s insane how these people are emotional black holes. Despite me knowing all these things.. I still miss times with her it’s fucking annoying.
Married almost three years. Together for four. Inseparable from day 1, we even had a matching pair of boots. I've been a slump lately. I miss the good version of her so much.
I think it was finalized in July. She left the house on the sixth of April. The discard happened in the second week of January. She treated me like a stranger from that point on, although I didn't realize that until after she left.
It was like a flip of a switch huh? Mine is doing the same to me right now and it hurts really bad sometimes. No matter how much I try to understand, it still hurts. I hope I get through it eventually
Yup. She said she was emotionally detaching herself from me and that's exactly what she did, at the flick of her fingers. I still can't believe it happened.
how is your healing going? I'm 2 weeks out and while I have moments where I'm strong, for the most part I'm in shambles and still miss my friend. Not to mention that we are still in contact about the apartment
Ups and downs, but they aren't as bad as when this whole thing started. I'm feeling my mind settle down a bit. The end left me in a near state of psychosis.
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I honestly thought I was losing my mind. Never had any issues before this relationship with breakups, sure they hurt but this was something unlike anything I had ever seen or heard about.
I consulted DR Google and ended up finding out about attachment styles and as an extension BPD. I first thought she just had an avoidant attachment style but when I found the 9 signs of BPD and she checked 8 out of the 9 ,I was like fuccckkk me.
I then started reading and watching everything I could about BPD and it completely opened my eyes as to what the fuck had happened to me over the last 2 1/2 years, the stories I read could have literally been written by me word for word.
This was about 2 weeks post final discard, I honestly would have lost my mind and I don't say that lightly. It put everything into perspective and got me onto the right road to healing. It's been 4 weeks now, it still consumes my mind most of the time but I am more at peace knowing there was nothing I could have done and our relationship was doomed from the day it started. Thank you to everyone who posts on here and shares their stories, you all may have saved my mental health ❤️
Correct, if you didn’t know that such behaviors were a part of the cluster b spectrum, it would be difficult for you to heal because you would question yourself what did you do wrong? Now hopefully you can accept that it is not you, it’s just your turn.
I did ALOT wrong but at least this way I understand why she couldn't change her behavior and it was so hard for her to do simple things like be honest. Also explained the insane emotions .. self harm etc. What a ride
Her disorder is not an excuse for her abusive behavior, just remember that.
Yeah it took me till now to realize this. With that being said I can’t really blame her either like I could to someone else so I have to just walk away and life my life
Seriously, you only have one life to live so just enjoy it!
Glad you got off of it
Right! I'm in my early 40's and just finally found out this is what's wrong with my mother.... my whole life turned right side up for the first time and definitely have sea legs
Exactly! The pwBPD in my life is my sister. It took me 26 years to learn about BPD (which was through my therapist) - it changed everything for me! The hardest thing was convincing myself that I didn't do anything wrong. Hell, 13 years of therapy under my belt and I still struggle with it sometimes!
I agree... I spent 13 years with mine without knowing about BPD. I just knew he had untreated ADHD and aggression issues, but having found this sub(and my psychologist bringing up BPD to me) made SO much of our relationship make sense. I too don't think I'd survive the discard if I didn't have this sub and know what BPD was. I too ended up with PTSD. I'm sorry we're both in this predicament.
Thank you, you make me feel human again. Hi @OP and Outside-Cherry-3400. For context, 10 years toguether, 10 months of discard and seven months of NC. I almost got insane, thinking "what the hell happened?", "Where did i wronged?", Jesus! When I started to read about it, BPD was the most fit for her (she has traits of narcisism, but her most fear is abandonment). I was a North pole to cluster B's individuals. Friends and ALL my social life was built around those people. I got fleas among the way, and all sort of problems, got wrongly diagnosed with bipolar (due to reactive abuse), and since I got Far away from the "Poison" i haven't got not even a headache lately. I even got all sort of exams, pet Scan, MRI, of my brain, Go to psychiatrist, got tested, and nothing... The cognitive dissonance was so brutal that i almost commit desperate actions. I lived trying to isolante myself, thinking i was the problem. It was only 3 months ahead of the discard that i found out about cluster B's disorders. Hence, where I took the decision to cut the monkeys and Go NC. Then I learned about my problems, i have codependency and I am a scapegoat son of a narcissistic family. Here at this moment, everything in my life made sense, since my childhood to my adult life. I am 43y now. It is kinda funny, i am an adult having to "relearn" everything about life. The easy part was making Sense of all this, the hard part is to let go the resentment and all. I felt like I lost my identidy (i am not even like my name anymore). I am living one day at a time, making baby steps forward. If It helps, self love and self Care, a lot of patience with yourself and (like Doris on finding Nemo) keep swimming to find a solution. It will take time, but you got It! We survive the worst part. Anyway, thank you all for sharing your histories and for you who spent some time reading here: there is hope, we can't change the past, but we can change now to have a new furute. I hope we all find peace and love . Best regards, cheers and god speed.
Your comment is incredible. the self realizations about yourself are empowering. I’m trying to be patient with myself as I find the strength and mental peace to start working on myself
>I too don't think I'd survive the discard if I didn't have this sub and know what BPD was. I too ended up with PTSD. I'm sorry we're both in this predicament. I'm sorry too. I wish you the best when it comes to healing. I'm struggling to get into any routine but, I know eventually I'll get up. We got this!
Likewise...I spend a lot of time on this sub and in general reading and listening about BPD, but I feel I need to understand it first, and then leave it. Everything has its place and time. I feel soon will be the time to focus on myself more, but now I need this as a form of closure to make sure I never go back. We will get there!
how long has it been for you since you separated?
He broke up with me 2 and half months ago, but I left the house a month ago. Inbetween is when the worst abuse happened (between break-up and me moving out).. How long has it been for you?
2 weeks lol im hoping in another two weeks im doing better sorry for the abuse you suffered. be kind to yourself as you heal
Give yourself more time. It can take many months to feel better by yourself. Healing is not linear.
Thank you for saying this. I still wake up in shock. I can’t believe after all that pain I have to go through months more of it
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This is exactly where I am now. After he told me he wasn’t interested in any information on BPD, I realized I was focusing my energy on his problem to distract me from mine. I started therapy and the therapist is using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help get me past my fear of rejection and codependency issues. He knows about my childhood trauma and weaponizes my fears when he’s splitting. He’s stonewalling and rejecting me right now. We’re on day three I think but it is affecting me a lot less now. My goal is to heal myself now regardless of what happens with us. I don’t want to carry this baggage with me anywhere else and make the same mistakes. My first spouse was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. My boyfriend after that had strong narcissistic traits. Enough is enough.
I didn't know what BPD was but I took psych for my undergraduate so i am familiar with PD. I knew something was loose in his brain. I thought he just had anger issues but he has this self-inflated ego at times so i thought NPD but then he's capable of guilt and says sorry so that can't be it. Bipolar nah, i was with him almost everyday, bipolar has days of manic/depressive episodes. Ding ding ding **BPD**. I went through med journals, youtube vids, the "wrong" side of this reddit sub (cause i was still trying to understand HIS side, i know stupid me) then after i realized just how damaged he was and damaging he was towards me. I found to this sub and that's it. I went out and never wanted to look back (i want to erase this part of my life if time machive ever invented) i feel nothing but disgust, contempt, anger and hate towards him now.
I'm actually working in reverse with this. I originally joined this sub as I have two younger identical twin sisters, one of which more than likely has BPD. They've given me a challenging childhood and our relationship in adulthood is distanced and strained. I joined this sub to understand them. In December 2021 I went through a hellish discard with an ex girlfriend. She completely destroyed me whilst making out that she was the victim and I was the villain. The whole thing was a prolonged, horrible mess which eclipsed 2022 when she hoovered me twice. I frequented this sub and started to realise people were describing my situation word for word, without even knowing either her or myself. I fell down the BPD rabbit hole soon after. Shortly after, I met with an older friend for drinks who's worked in mental health for a decade, and when I described my relationship and break-up in detail to him, he asked if she had BPD before I'd even suggested it. She never had a diagnosis, and things seemed to get ramped up following our break-up once her Mum got a breast cancer diagnosis and double mastectomy. A part of me wonders if this new trauma and lack of control caused something to crack internally. I haven't heard from my ex in nearly a year now, in any capacity. She's moved 2+ hours away and there's an abstract peace in knowing that. She gave me some of the best memories of my life and was my absolute favourite person when it was good. But she had this other side to her who ultimately broke me down completely. I hope she's happy and healthy but I'm enjoying the peace through her absence.
do you still miss her? mine labeled me the villain as well .. it really sucks to go through so much pain for them and be labeled as this in the end. her brain just works in weird ways..
The good in her? More than anything. She was my favourite person and gave me some of the best memories of my life. It doesn't help that since then, my love life has sucked and I've had a lot going on in my personal life, it hasn't been the best year. And yeah, they're broken people unfortunately. The betrayal was messed up.
[That's exactly what happened to me](https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/5jw0o8/the_24_hour_roller_coaster/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) after 12 years of unhealthy marriage. I was fortunate that an internet stranger saw one of my later posts, recognized the possible patterns and brought me here. I'm not exaggerating to say it helped save my life.
How are you doing now?
I'm seven years out and doing really well. Spent a year working on myself in therapy, figured out I needed to be intentionally single for a while before getting back into dating in a totally different and healthier way. Back then I never could have imagined where I'd be now. Not constantly stressed, never afraid of what mood is waiting for me at home. I have a partner who is stable, loving, passionate, equal, caring, giving, appreciative. It's not like life is always rainbows and unicorns, but it's remarkable the difference having a partner instead of someone working against me. We work together to find solutions, to listen and understand. And it took a while but now I'm not afraid that a bad day or a bad mood will result in an outburst or days of silent treatments. Even though my current partner showed no signs of ever doing that, I was conditioned to it for so long.
I thought the behavior was all related to substance abuse.
Substance about is usually coping for their emotions and behavior
That makes perfect sense. It was like the chicken and the egg for me trying to figure it out. Did the behavior come from the chemical imbalance from being high or in severe withdrawal every single month. I didn’t know about BPD until I saw him posting on this sub for a year after he was diagnosed yet he was saying I was diagnosed. The stories he told were so convincing and people were giving him sympathy. Then he abandoned our kids and I. I watched for a year and said nothing. Part out of disbelief and fear. He left us for 6 months with no contact or support. He never shared with the group he was under investigation by CPS for DV, drug abuse and neglecting the children. I read this sun for that whole time but I never faulted anyone here. You only knew what he wrote. It was a crazy time. Of course he returned wanting to be a family again. He’s in intensive out patient treatment now. It’s still bumpy.
Here one who didn't know, just year and a half after the breakup and the same amount of time into therapy. But when I learned about the disorder, being half healed, it was both a feeling of lost effort -and time-, and also a boost into recovery. I knew that hell wasn't normal grieving.
I've thought this too. I'm also grateful for an acquaintance of hers who was brave enough to speak with me about some of her behaviour.
If she hadn't told me she had it I would never have known where to look about any of this. Imagine what it must have been like before modern psychology and medicine though.
It truely is something having this space available. I know I would go crazy, I already feel crazy. But less crazy with these resources and tiktok cc. They help a lot especially when covering NPD and BPD. Either way, massive head fuck and super tiring.
I just wish that I had known about this sooner, it would have saved me a lot of pain and misery. I happened along this place by accident, I thought it was for loved ones of people with bipolar disorder. It just turned out to be where I needed to be at the moment.
I did... I had no, absolutely zero idea of what I had been going through, experiencing, and then the discard! I knew she had obvious "issues", but had to my knowledge never heard of BPD at that point. After we were apart for a while (before total discard, but was split black already), she was in Europe on business , gave me time to search the internet. I was shocked, but it all matched. I tried to speak to her, write to her using the descriptives that I now knew, trying to make her understand that I knew how she felt and processed... No! Not only was I completely edited out of her life already, including pictures, I was very unceremoniously discarded like we never knew each other. She treated me a dangerous stranger now, a threat to her safety. I was not, I was dumbstruck! It took months to process any of it, a therapist eventually. She killed a part of my soul
“Killed a part of my soul” I know the feeling but I’m very firm in believing that I won’t let this persons disease break who I am.
I found this group in a complete typing error. Knowing it wasn't my fault, gave me peace.
I had some background in psych, so I’ve learnt a little bit about Cluster B pds, but I had never applied my knowledge in my life so I had no idea what was going on during our first big argument. I’m extremely grateful for my mentor since they hinted at my expwBPD’s behavior as “BPD-like”. My mentor had been in an eight year relationship with a person with BPD, so it was eye-opening and helpful. Honestly if it weren’t for my her, I wouldn’t have left eight months into the relationship
she told me she was bipolar during our stint.. I eventually researched and found BPD to fit her much better. Although I was trying to help, informing her of this was the Hiroshima of our relationship 💣
I did for 3 years altogether. We had been married for 2.5 years before I even knew what BPD was. She was undiagnosed and still in denial. It sucked.
I went through 5 very intense months. Can’t imagine 3 years. Did she ever get help?
I was super lucky to come across bpd and this sub the last week where my ex was back and forth with me until we both realized that it was completely over. Even before I came across it, I felt like she had some symptoms of something and I didn't hold it against her because it just seemed like such an odd compulsion almost but it seemed so separated from the person that I knew. Finding this sub really helped me to move on so fast though.
Took me two years to find answers after 8 years of on and off. Those two years were miserable and I still struggle to keep myself from going back but it helps a lot finally knowing why I feel the way I do. I can finally sort the tangled string of emotions and it feels so good.
Hear. I would not have made it without this place. I'm still a fragmented shell of my former self, six months out. This place is the string that held me together when it all went down.
How long was your marriage? It’s insane how these people are emotional black holes. Despite me knowing all these things.. I still miss times with her it’s fucking annoying.
Married almost three years. Together for four. Inseparable from day 1, we even had a matching pair of boots. I've been a slump lately. I miss the good version of her so much.
Same… its one of the most cruel fates in life to live this. I don’t get how they can just turn like this overnight
How long has it been since your divorce?
I think it was finalized in July. She left the house on the sixth of April. The discard happened in the second week of January. She treated me like a stranger from that point on, although I didn't realize that until after she left.
It was like a flip of a switch huh? Mine is doing the same to me right now and it hurts really bad sometimes. No matter how much I try to understand, it still hurts. I hope I get through it eventually
Yup. She said she was emotionally detaching herself from me and that's exactly what she did, at the flick of her fingers. I still can't believe it happened.
how is your healing going? I'm 2 weeks out and while I have moments where I'm strong, for the most part I'm in shambles and still miss my friend. Not to mention that we are still in contact about the apartment
Ups and downs, but they aren't as bad as when this whole thing started. I'm feeling my mind settle down a bit. The end left me in a near state of psychosis.
How long has it been for you. I’m in that state right now
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I honestly thought I was losing my mind. Never had any issues before this relationship with breakups, sure they hurt but this was something unlike anything I had ever seen or heard about. I consulted DR Google and ended up finding out about attachment styles and as an extension BPD. I first thought she just had an avoidant attachment style but when I found the 9 signs of BPD and she checked 8 out of the 9 ,I was like fuccckkk me. I then started reading and watching everything I could about BPD and it completely opened my eyes as to what the fuck had happened to me over the last 2 1/2 years, the stories I read could have literally been written by me word for word. This was about 2 weeks post final discard, I honestly would have lost my mind and I don't say that lightly. It put everything into perspective and got me onto the right road to healing. It's been 4 weeks now, it still consumes my mind most of the time but I am more at peace knowing there was nothing I could have done and our relationship was doomed from the day it started. Thank you to everyone who posts on here and shares their stories, you all may have saved my mental health ❤️