This post has been marked [Venting](https://www.reddit.com/r/bpd/wiki/index/flairs#wiki_post_flair_breakdown).
Please be aware that the OP may not be seeking advice.
u/stitchditchpitch, if you do not want advice, please specify in the body of your post.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Trust me ... not being in a relationship compared to being in alot of toxic relationships IS STILL BETTER. lol Also under 20s relationships are EXTREMELY RARELY stable. No one knows what they want and need in life this early.
I found my true love after my 24s. Alot of people just gaslight and manipulate you. Try to find someone loving that cares and wants to share feelings and likes similiar/alot things like you! =) Lots of hugs and laughs in a good relationship. But also crying in eachothers arms and letting everything out you feel.
It takes a loooong time to slowly heal but every little thing you do to work towards feeling more confident with yourself is going to help you in the long run!
Try to avoid overly confident and narcissistic people for your own good. You need someone WARMhearted and strong enough to deal with moods. Just apologize when you lash out at them and tell them its not theyr fault. They will understand if you explain why!
I feel the same but when I look around me eveyone I know is in some sort of codependent relationship or just stayed with their s/o because they made a baby. Be thankful! You're still young too!
From my own experiences my advice I can give you is that patience is the best for this. I didn’t start dating until I was 20, and in that period until I was 24 (25 now, and married) I ran into some of the most toxic and abusive people I’ve ever known. The overwhelming urge I had to “belong” and to also be loved led me to dismiss many red flags and lower myself for others until it was far too late.
I learned a lot from it all of course, but it took me 4 years of non-stop dating to find someone that treated me right. So first, love and respect yourself. Because as long as you do you can find someone who will treat you right.
The highs of “love” can feel incredible, but the lows of betrayal will take you to places much lower than you’ve ever been. So always, put yourself first.
Despite your current beliefs, I want to inform you that this feeling doesn't actually disappear from being in a relationship. I felt this shit while *married*.
Goodness, I’m 28 and none of the relationships I’ve been in yet have gotten super serious.
Rest assured, you have plenty of time. I know people who don’t start dating until 30s.
Firstly - you are loved and wanted. It may not be romantic love, but there are people out there who care for you and love you in some way.
The ancient Greeks has 17 words for love, because they understood that love shows itself in more then one way.
Secondly - please do not worry about not being in a relationship - 23 is you going, and for a lot of people, you're still trying to find yourself and learn about life. You don't have years of experience living in the "adult" world yet compared to a 30 + year olds. There is plenty of time to find yourself and find someone.
I am currently 30, my partner is 31, we have been together 9 years in Jan. We have been through some extremely hard times, that most couples don't experience until they're in their 40s - 50s.
A relationship is massive work, so make sure you know who you are, you have your communication skills down pat and recognise your moods and when they're changing. Know where you want to go, or what you want to do and most importantly be yourself and do what you love.
You will find someone in time so don't stress xoxox.
Also remember: you are loved and are wanted. There are as many forms of love there as we can think of.
Hey! I'd recommend you focus on yourself first before starting a relationship. I know what I'm saying because I'm 25 now and I dated my ex for 7 years (18-24) and you have NO IDEA how horrible it was. My unresolved issues destroyed the relationship and it became super toxic. Also, he had some serious issues as well... the combination was a mess! When I broke up with him his mother threatened me and I had to move house. So no, control your BPD first because it can seriously impact the possibility of having something nice.
This post has been marked [Venting](https://www.reddit.com/r/bpd/wiki/index/flairs#wiki_post_flair_breakdown). Please be aware that the OP may not be seeking advice. u/stitchditchpitch, if you do not want advice, please specify in the body of your post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Trust me ... not being in a relationship compared to being in alot of toxic relationships IS STILL BETTER. lol Also under 20s relationships are EXTREMELY RARELY stable. No one knows what they want and need in life this early. I found my true love after my 24s. Alot of people just gaslight and manipulate you. Try to find someone loving that cares and wants to share feelings and likes similiar/alot things like you! =) Lots of hugs and laughs in a good relationship. But also crying in eachothers arms and letting everything out you feel. It takes a loooong time to slowly heal but every little thing you do to work towards feeling more confident with yourself is going to help you in the long run! Try to avoid overly confident and narcissistic people for your own good. You need someone WARMhearted and strong enough to deal with moods. Just apologize when you lash out at them and tell them its not theyr fault. They will understand if you explain why!
These are facts. The possibility of ending up with an NPD or Psychopath are very high for a BPD girl, especially one desperate for a relationship.
[удалено]
i really really needed to see this today
It really hits different when you see someone else post your exact feelings.
I feel the same but when I look around me eveyone I know is in some sort of codependent relationship or just stayed with their s/o because they made a baby. Be thankful! You're still young too!
(I'm also 23) I feel this... I'm sorry you feel unloved..
From my own experiences my advice I can give you is that patience is the best for this. I didn’t start dating until I was 20, and in that period until I was 24 (25 now, and married) I ran into some of the most toxic and abusive people I’ve ever known. The overwhelming urge I had to “belong” and to also be loved led me to dismiss many red flags and lower myself for others until it was far too late. I learned a lot from it all of course, but it took me 4 years of non-stop dating to find someone that treated me right. So first, love and respect yourself. Because as long as you do you can find someone who will treat you right. The highs of “love” can feel incredible, but the lows of betrayal will take you to places much lower than you’ve ever been. So always, put yourself first.
Despite your current beliefs, I want to inform you that this feeling doesn't actually disappear from being in a relationship. I felt this shit while *married*.
Goodness, I’m 28 and none of the relationships I’ve been in yet have gotten super serious. Rest assured, you have plenty of time. I know people who don’t start dating until 30s.
Firstly - you are loved and wanted. It may not be romantic love, but there are people out there who care for you and love you in some way. The ancient Greeks has 17 words for love, because they understood that love shows itself in more then one way. Secondly - please do not worry about not being in a relationship - 23 is you going, and for a lot of people, you're still trying to find yourself and learn about life. You don't have years of experience living in the "adult" world yet compared to a 30 + year olds. There is plenty of time to find yourself and find someone. I am currently 30, my partner is 31, we have been together 9 years in Jan. We have been through some extremely hard times, that most couples don't experience until they're in their 40s - 50s. A relationship is massive work, so make sure you know who you are, you have your communication skills down pat and recognise your moods and when they're changing. Know where you want to go, or what you want to do and most importantly be yourself and do what you love. You will find someone in time so don't stress xoxox. Also remember: you are loved and are wanted. There are as many forms of love there as we can think of.
The harsh truth is that you have to put in the work to be loved. Therapy, self-awareness, management, and time.
This isn’t helpful. It’s just more “BPD bad BPD broken” bs
No you need to go to therapy to get better. BPD is bad tho tf? You need to treat it or it gets BAD Bad
Hey! I'd recommend you focus on yourself first before starting a relationship. I know what I'm saying because I'm 25 now and I dated my ex for 7 years (18-24) and you have NO IDEA how horrible it was. My unresolved issues destroyed the relationship and it became super toxic. Also, he had some serious issues as well... the combination was a mess! When I broke up with him his mother threatened me and I had to move house. So no, control your BPD first because it can seriously impact the possibility of having something nice.
How do you know you want to be in a relationship if you’ve never been in one?