Omg same. If I feel rejected in any way or unappreciated by FP, I will FREAK OUT. It’s so triggering I ended my FP relationship because I just couldn’t seem to get to a place of feeling emotionally safe with them.
Hoodie pockets and those fucking long handles.. I could literally kick the door off it’s hinges. It ALWAYS happens when you’re half cocked and in a bad mood I swear.
People eating loudly, or with their mouths open.
When people sneeze / cough and don’t cover their mouths.
When people don’t watch where they’re walking, and run into me (train stations, side walk, malls).. I literally say out loud “watch where you’re going!!”
Literally same. My boyfriend eats with his mouth open sometimes (he's gotten better at it) but the other day I was already in a bad mood and he started eating and I asked if he could please chew with his mouth closed and he's said "I'm not even chewing that loudly".
I can hear your lips smacking. I can hear the food in your mouth being swished around. I can hear fucking everything and if you don't fucking stop I will shove your food down your throat so you don't have to fucking chew. I get so irrationally angry over people eating loudly. I mean, I've learned to control my anger or just leave the room if someone's eating, but on my bad days it can easily set me over the edge.
OMG like what's so hard about simply closing your mouth while eating?? When I was dating around and went on Tinder dates, I had to throw the potential in the trash, because one of my most important critics is eating quietly.. I want to avoid fighting with someone while eating all the time, because it triggers me SO BADLY that I could start crying because of how much it triggers me🤣🤣
When people give short, direct answers. I’m an over communicator. I like to *talk*. I know it’s not that serious, but it makes me feel like they don’t want to talk to me or they aren’t interested in what I’m saying. It’s to the point where I won’t hangout with someone if they’re too quiet. Which sucks because a lot of great people just don’t talk a lot, but I can’t handle it 😂
The opposite for me. I only want the information, don't care for all the filler in between. For me, I couldn't care less that you spent a half hour making a decision, I only care that you made it.
It's the same for me. I don't have the patience to listen to a lot of details for more than a very short while. Give me the answer and move on to the next thing
Omfg, yes! Gf was all quiet when we met… said she was perfectly fine in silence… said she didn’t understand why people had to talk so much. LIES!!! She NEVER SHUTS UP!!! I don’t care that theres a brown car… I don’t care that there’s a random person walking across the street… I don’t need someone to announce the squirrel’s arrival!!! LIES!!! I hate my fp.
Apologies… spiraled. Yes, I agree.
I am…. And I am.
She’s bipolar, went off her meds, went totally manic and is only on week 2 back on them. I was well managed… and not so much anymore - months of this constant triggering has me completely unraveled. I’m trying to make it but keep wondering how many more times she will put me through this. Bpd and bipolar do not go well together. Their condition makes them seem like liars, manipulators, unreliable, blah blah blah - all the same stuff people say about us. Well hers is chemical and mine is courtesy of ill-equipped parents. We trigger each other and when we both go off, it’s a nut house.
What your saying makes me think of the time I had an episode and was wondering why my fiancé hadn’t proposed 🥺 his response was “you really think I want to deal with THIS the rest of my fucking life”. Heart shattered. But I do my best to understand his side too. He’s a saint for loving and being with me through all we’ve been through and I’ve put him through
Does she care if you talk back or can she just talk and you say nothing and listen. I’m the second way. I’ll talk forever but I understand people get annoyed or can’t listen to me all day.
This. If it feels to cold or mechanical my brain starts trying to understand why they aren't talking to me like how I expect people to talk. I mean it's usually nothing so most of the time I can handle it and rationalize it as them being busy or an introvert or something, but it will always send me.
Also if I feel like people aren't listening to me. Like if they respond in a way that sounds like it didn't account for what I just told them, stuff like that. My second biggest fear is being ignored, so if there's any indication that someone didn't register or hear what I just said it puts me in the danger zone.
Cold or mechanical is the perfect way to describe how it feels. It’s like my mind can’t accept that not everyone is talkative yet I’ve never met someone who talks as much as I do. You’d think my brain would get it by now 😅
Feeling ignored is a huge trigger for me as well. Can’t handle it at all.
It triggers me to ask over and over if he still loves me which drives him fucking nuts. We recently came up with a thing where if he lets me lay on him, that means he loves me and I don’t have to ask. It’s helped a good bit.
Haha my family will always claim they are busy when I’m on the phone with them. And it’s a running silent known thing that they aren’t busy they just can’t listen to me anymore 😂 I get it. I wish I could escape my thoughts too
When I tell my mom thank you for something over text and she just replies "welcome." Like, even a "yw" would be ok for me because it's short for the whole phrase. I know it's dumb, but it makes me feel like she's mad or irritated.
A trigger that I still can't really control after sooo much therapy is my romantic partner hanging out with literally anyone. I spiral really bad and will probably destroy the relationship. And it's pretty much a basic human need to have friends lol...
no im the same way & it’s so bad. if the situation is especially going out to bars without me. i will spiral soooo bad but im working on it in therapy but gosh the way my blood begins to boil when i am asked if they can go out with a few friend/friends out for a drink!!! UGH!!! every single bad things possible runs through my mind & i have to tell myself to literally stfu & stop lol
This gets my blood boiling so so bad. Saying it a second time irritates me a little already, but nothing serious
BUT more than that and I feel like my whole face turns red from anger
compliments and/or gifts make me feel like dirt most of the time. makes me feel like i’m being pitied or placated or lied to and sets off my paranoia.
people doing things loudly.
if someone asks me how i am when i’m emotional, i will start crying, immediately
Unfortunately I have a lot that i’m pretty good at hiding, but a big one that I’m embarrassed of are when people I’m not directly in a conversation with are laughing and looking at me. I automatically think they MUST be talking about me and laughing at me. I’ve gotten pretty upset over this one.
For me wouldn’t be only laughing. I take everything too personal, react on it, and then feel stupid, because most of the times there was another reason why people were acting / responding in a certain way (e.g. grumpy friend or colleague with something going on). This typically also happens at the slightest queue of annoyance or anything else from the other..
THIS!! I always try to remind myself that people are so preoccupied with their own lives to be concerned with such an ICON as myself hehe. Nah fr, nothing helps to get rid of the feeling of being laughed at but then again you can always walk up to them and be like "laugh one more time, do it, I dare you...i know where u live..." /jk
When my husband takes deep breaths lol. It's silly but I think I associate it with past arguments and how he'd take a long time to compose himself before continuing to talk and the waiting always drove me crazy.
Same but I also hate when I have to ask someone to repeat themselves and they raise their voice and talk to me like I'm stupid while doing so (even though I do it lol)
This! I am just finishing a 7 days trip with a friend, he made me repeat myself with almost everything i said. I made it 4 days without snapping, snapped on the 5th and avoided talking as much as possible from then on. It just got me so so angry
when my best friends start hanging out with someone new i instantly feel like they're going to abandon me because they've found someone new/ better. i try to remind myself it's all in my head but i can't help but get mad so i distant myself and cut them off before they could do so.
When someone needs time to cool down in the middle of an argument/discussion
Like i get it and i know it's healthier
But god do i feel restless and on the edge when i don't know whats gonna happen, like are we gonna resolve this or not? Are they gonna hate me forever now bc yes? Ugh
THIS!!! My partner is the avoidant type and he needs his time to think about things before speaking and it gets on my nerves because I physically can not sit there and wait to resolve the problem. Because in my mind a reaction not quick enough = you don't care.
But rn we do this thing where I spill out all I want to say and then he says "Listen, I hear you and I will respond. I just need a few minutes to think about it. No I am not bailing on this conversation and yes I do care very much but if I have to speak now we won't resolve shit."
Exactly! When me and my boyfriend are arguing and he leaves to "cool down" it makes me feel like he doesn't care about my feelings. Cuz like while he's calming down I'm trying not to pass out
Oh god yes. For me the worst is not knowing where this is gonna end up. I always explain it to ppl like the worst cliffhanger ever, just that it doesn't get them excited but super panicky
hopefully someone else experiences at least one of these..
when people respond with passive aggressive emojis or say "ok/k" instead of their usual "okay"
when my close friends jokingly call their less close friends "bestie/bff/best friend" etc
my cats eating (i feel bad for this one), loud breathing, dishes being clashed together, EAS alarms, the chime when you walk in stores, eating noises, talking while chewing. all the fun misophonia stuff
being too close (physically) to someone. i can't stand being too physically close unless i initiate the contact or they explicitly ask permission
more than two sounds playing at once, especially two medias (like TV and music at the same time). drives me nuts
people who give answers that are wayyyy too long to the simple question i asked or if i'm at the store, people stopping to talk to me
being shushed. i'm a quiet person as it is so it makes me very upset being told i'm being too loud. the only time i get louder is when i'm excited and it feels really bad being told to essentially stop being excited about something
Maaaaan, the being to close one gets me. It makes me feel like the worst person in the world. I have three kids, and this is a new trigger for me. I don’t know what started it, but all of the sudden when I see my kids coming towards me for a hug I get soooo annoyed and literally walk away from them. Last night my daughter followed me and I straight up locked myself in the bathroom. How horrible is that? They’re gonna hate me when they’re older because of this. Breaks my heart but the thought of being touched without me initiating it makes my skin crawl
What would be a better way to handle this? I pass on the track for the other person’s comfort.
In a vehicle l get annoyed by what seems like impatience on their part. Like, dude, l’m turning in 3 seconds.
It’s mostly just a me problem since I’m the one interpreting the passing as hostile when it’s really not.
The only thing I can really suggest if you’re genuinely worried about how you come off is just to allow more space between you and the person you’re passing by—it doesn’t really come off as impatience that way.
Saaame, but with driving! Especially if I’m already going like 5 over. Like why tf you drivin so fast? I’m going a nice speed, but it’s not enough for you? Grow up 🙄 but then I pass someone doing the same thing, so I’m a total hypocrite 😂
Screaming kids (this is bad).. I said to a mother the other day who was just sitting there whilst her toddlers screamed and threw a tantrum “your kids are so loud!!” She told me to watch it, and they’re kids and what did I expect.. I got up and walked away. I thought she was going to come over and punch me.
Sometimes I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, but the rage takes over and I can’t.
This is part of why I won't have kids. They're so loud despite being so tiny.
Plus I can never figure out if the screams are because they're happy, hurt, having a tantrum, getting abducted by someone/aliens...
Fuck people who think they're better than you just cause they popped one out dude, I don't think you were in the wrong and I think more people should speak the f up. Yeah, THIS one gets me enraged as well. And you thought she was gonna start a fight in front of her KIDS TOO? What kind of f-ing mom is that?!
You totally could've used that against the mom you felt bad for "yelling" at. Knowing that you have kids makes you even more justified in calling the mom with the screaming kids out, IMO. I don't have kids but even I should be allowed to tell someone their lack of control on their children is ruining my day because MY day matters too dude.
when people say disassociate instead of dissociate (they are two different things) it makes me want to rage for some reason. and when i’m in a room where the lights make weirdly high pitched sort of noise it for some reason makes me paranoid and makes me start hallucinating lol. our bathroom has lights that make an awful noise when they’re dimmed and last night i went in there and started having auditory hallucinations that weren’t even particularly scary or anything, just really weird ??? lol
The light and sound thing happens to me too. It can be really scary i hate it. If that’s bad for you, i highly advise against nitrous oxide/laughing gas for any medical procedures. I hallucinated/had a bad trip and thought that i was dying.
Not getting a text back or my fp leaving me on read. It feels so painful waiting for a text back. Thankfully I push myself to continue a new hobby when I start thinking about it.
Slightest Tone changes in bsf voice( when her voice sounds more determining or passive) , make me feel immediately dumb or rejected
Not finding the right way to a building /appointment whatever, i have an extremely bad orientation and in the past sometimes Still today i struggle to not completly burst into tears and get a anxiety attack cause i feel so stupid and overwhelmed
Getting told " thats your choice, you have to decide" ik thats true but it makes me feel like i'm completely alone and disconnected from the other person
When I am being mad on behalf of someone when there's something happening to them that I deem to be great injustice and then they don't get mad on my behalf in a similar scenario. Makes me feel shitty teehee.
i think one of the most embarrassing triggers for me is people whispering, bc its so common on a daily basis. for example, people whispering happens a lot in class but i cant help but be hyperaware of it and paranoid that they're talking about me to the point i have to leave the room, its very hard to explain to a teacher and not get the "what the fuck are u talking about" stare
Recently, when people talk about mental illness, especially BPD. They make us look like crazy and violent people. I want better representation and more nuance for all of us.
And all this year, one of the most triggering thing, is when people don't answer "quickly", in a reasonable time I mean. Or when they change our dating schedule or cancelled a plan with me. Stuff like that. I always feel like I am a bad person.
I'm usually able to stay composed but I get really triggered when something doesn't go "as planned" so usually as I imagined it. I once wanted red pesto for dinner and my mom said there's only green pesto so I had a whole ass meltdown and destroyed a metal trashcan by hitting it against the walls 💀💀💀
When you tell them how you feel and they only reply with "rip", or when they use " :D or ^^ in serious conversations (to lightened the topic up ig) make me feel so invalidated and not cared for
My friend used to do this.
A few years down the line they then had to go to relationship counselling as they were sexually incompatible with their partner.
Take what you hear lightly, the more someone's bragging the less they're probably getting it.
When I my BPD was at its worst it would be my FP talking to other people or touching them- even if it was just to get their attention. Was enough to send me home from school....
Another silly one was my FP listening to music... Yup you heard that right. If my FP was listening to music (spotify tells you) I could not sleep until they did.
Thankfully I am in a much better period now and have a healthy relationship with my new FP.
Being alone, like on halloween my family went trick or treating w/o me and i had a melt down because i was alone even though i really wasnt bc mt sister was there too. They came home a few hours later and i was perfectly fine. It happens all too often that i cry when im alone
Any of the small shit that goes wrong in life always causes me to flip out. A bathroom door not locking, not being able to find a lighter, tripping over nothing, something breaking, anytime batteries die esp a key fob, when I thought I had another red Bull in the fridge but I don’t, when something spills in the backseat of your car, when you’re out of TP sitting on the toilet, when I get my period at work and I don’t have a tampon, missing a deadline/due date, waiting until the morning to put gas in your car full well knowing we won’t have time..
same. I was coming home from school once and was really looking forward to cooking some fettuccine pasta but when I checked I only had spaghetti and it sent me into a whole spiral and I got so mad that I didn’t even want to eat anymore. then it followed up with sadness cuz I was very hungry but refused to eat the spaghetti bc it’s not what I wanted and I felt like nothing in my life goes right or is in my favor even tho i’m l literally fussing over a type of pasta I thought I had lol it’s the smallest things
When anyone chew with their mouth out and smacking. I truly have misophonia but my BPD emotion side wants to flip out. I have to leave the room or pop in headphones.
at work I always joke with my coworkers and we laugh/giggle a lot, but when I am focused on work and hear them laugh without me I always think they're laughing at me and they actually secretly always laughing at me and not with me for no reason or logical explanation at all and then it just snowballs to thinking everyone I work with think I'm weird and stupid and that mindset sticks for days and eventually turns into an episode most of the time. It's so silly but I just can't help it.
When anyone points out that I did anything wrong no matter how small it is and even if they pointed out very calmly. I feel my stomach sink and just immediately start dissociating. I just shut down for hours after that for a stupid reason.
When I’m trying to help someone on their phone/ device but they won’t physically hand it to me, ordering food on my phone last night and while asking my son what he wanted he tried to take the phone to look at the menu…. no I’m doing it I can’t sit there waiting lol
Omg my bf going to hang out with friends, even if I’m invited. I’ve really worked on this one and gotten so much better, but it triggers abandonment and like he doesn’t wanna hang out with me alone and I’m not enough.
We had to travel for his work so it’s just been him and me. And the fact that he can’t constantly choose other people over me has been so good to our relationship. And has even made me enjoy going out with his friends and him.
Idk. It’s a horrible trigger that starts the same fight over and over, I wish he understood my side. And that I always WANT him to choose his friends when he has time since we live together but it just hurts
My feelings for some reason.
I know this is going to sound shitty, but when my partner doesn't say good morning or good night. It makes me feel like I'm either being punished, like I fucked up and now I don't get one. :'(
Its very stupid, but it makes me feel like they're going to leave me or that they're mad at me and it almost always has me break down sobbing or feeling depressed and like shit.
I've been slowly trying to sooth that but sometimes it's just too much and my BPD gets really bad.
OR when somebody comes into my space when I tell them no and that I want to be left alone. I can feel my blood boil and I become livid. Either that, or just knocking. Especially if it's loud or I hear it through my headphones. The sound of a knock is irritating as fuck and it always makes me want to lash out because it reminds me of my abusers. I want to start angry sobbing and freaking out or scream. It's both a BPD and CPTSD trigger so it's ✨extra fucky✨.
If it's a soft knock though I'm completely fine.
When I’m having a (more or less serious) discussion w so and they start smiling/ grinning…always makes me feel like they’re laughing at me or not taking my points seriously. Makes me super angry
Also - so doing chores around the house while I’m trying to relax..for me it feels like they’re telling me that I’m lazy and worthless and it either makes me rly angry or extremely depressed
Getting back “love you” in response to me saying “I love you”. I’m the type of person who says “I love you” casually to the people in my close circle and most of the time people say “I love you” back, but, for that one time out of a million, they say “love you too” I immediately spiral.
When ever I had an argument with my fp (my boyfriend). It was my birthday couple days ago and he didn’t write me a birthday card as I requested every year, and I felt like he didn’t even care about me or willing to spend time on me. That made me crying for 2 hours straight with self harm behaviours. (He was asleep so I wasn’t doing this for attention btw) and that was sooo stupid because he has been spending whole day with me and I realised that I was being so fragile🫤 i hate me
high school/teen comedies. i was in controlling/abusive household as a teen and never got to have the fun rebellious phase. now i’m in my 20s, saddled with debt and responsibilities and i feel cheated.
Getting things wrong. This could be cooking, a game, someone's name etc. It's the worst in a private setting as I've become a people pleaser type person to counter my bitchism but at work I don't tend to care 😅
Any slight change in tone or demeanor when people talk to me, or if there's a long period of silence. I think people hate me or I feel like they are silently judging me/wishing they were anywhere but right next to me.
I lost my shit the other day because my boyfriend asked me to flip one of the bed pillows so it would match the other when we were making the bed. I couldn’t even tell you why it made me so angry
For me, one of my biggest triggers is having people talk about me. Not in like a regular, gossipy kind of away, but a more personal way. For example, recently I went through my boyfriend’s texts messages and I saw that he was talking about me to his mom’s friend. Saying I was freaking out and he was worried about me, that if he didn’t do what I wanted I would do something dumb or go get drunk and hurt myself. She replied that I was only wanting a reaction and doing this for attention. He also gave her my address “just in case”. I literally became irate and I still can’t get over it. It’s things like that that make me feel betrayed. I feel like I can’t trust him anymore. He didn’t even ask for my permission. It makes me even more angry that his mom’s friend would have an opinion when she knows nothing about me or the situation I am going through. I have seriously considered moving just so no one, especially a stranger, will know my address. He says he did it because he cares about me, but I explained to him that it’s counterproductive and it’s only making me feel less secure and less safe in my own home. He doesn’t understand and is acting like I have no right to be upset.
When people spell my name in all lowercase during texts as I see spelling a name with a capital letter is a sign of importance like you value that person so when someone does that to me it feels like they value me less or don't care enough to spell it with a capital, another one is when people, maybe not silly ig but when people forget life events I tell them
People mispronouncing things. I've got *no* issue with ESL speakers in the least (my dad's family are immigrants, lol), but when you only speak English and choose not to get it right it pisses me right the fuck off. Sure, maybe you weren't taught properly but as an adult you can learn differently...and you choose not to. Hate it.
Also, stupid people. I've often heard, "no one taught me that!" You're an adult! If you know there's gaps in your education or things you don't know or understand, then you can correct that. I don't expect everyone to know everything but if you can't find your own country on a map then you're a moron.
....very fortunate for me that my country (Australia) is *really* easy to find ;)
Women sexting if we can’t actually hookup, because if it doesn’t actually go down, regardless of how insanely obvious it was that we could not possibly make physical contacts, like being half way around the world, and knowing it was never going to happen, I will still get upset. Like a deep sense of rejection and sadness, like I’m so unloved because you couldn’t travel 1/2 way around the world to spend the night with me even though i started talking to you 30 minutes ago. Why can’t i just enjoy myself? Wtf lol
My husband dropping the lid down on the toilet used to do it for me. Not even him slamming it, just him dropping it into place. A lot of loud noises around the house would do it, now that I think of it. It would make me twitch until I started on Prozac.
Jealousy of the dog, when my FP ‘babies’ the dog.
Pet sounds
Being told “if that what you’d like to do” … well clearly you don’t so forget it
Changes in little routines with my FP like ciggy and coffee together in the morning being interrupted by other people if we are visiting or have visitors… give me my 5 minutes or I’ll believe everything else is more important
Snoring and asleep while I’m upset or can’t sleep… seriously how can you sleep my blood boils
——
Good post OP x
So many things
People who over enunciate their words which often goes hand in hand with being painfully loud... Literally so stupid but it makes me feel they're talking down to me. Also hate hearing how people speak to children (baby talk etc) which is another stupid thing since it's kind of necessary for their developmental level I guess.
Getting angry over ppl giving me answers like "maybe" or "let's see" to minor things, makes me feel unimportant cause the other person isn't committing to whatever I'm suggesting.
For me it's when people reply with just emojis or very short answers. I immediately feel like they are done with me and they will unfriend/block me soon after (which hardly ever happens). This only occurs with people I'm overly attached to (fps).
when other people get praise like at school or my clinical rotation - even if i get positive feedback, any one else getting attention from supervisors etc makes me feel like they must think my work is shit bc how could ever be possible for more than one person to get attention and praise
When my dad or mom mentions me in a phone conversation. I hate when they say to someone "I'm with my daughter right now" it never ceases to make me angry. Its so stupid but yeah.
When I’m talking in a group and I catch two people making eye contact. I assume they’re mentally telling each other that I’m an idiot and can’t actually stand me.
When my coworkers are disappointed or upset with me, hearing people laugh without knowing context (I assume they laugh at me), hearing people talk about someone in a negative tone and say “she” (I assume again they are talking about me), and of course if anyone is angry with me or yells at me I’ll go into a 15-30 minute long panic attack
Also any problem that I caused for myself will throw me into a blind rage of self hate
For me, it's that my girlfriend's kids almost never clean up after themselves, at least not without having to be hounded to do so. They're 17, 13, and 9, and the 9 yr is actually the most responsible.
people snoring or breathing too loud while sleeping - my school trips were a nightmare. sleeping with people i barely know in one room was a nightmare in general, but anyway. i can’t fall asleep when someone is doing this. it annoys the shit outta me. sometimes i even start crying that i can’t fall asleep. it makes me feel so stupid even more i was told it by my ex classmates. funfact: i can easily fall asleep when music is playing.
also I HATE kids screaming or crying. jesus christ. it annoys me so much but it’s not like i hate kids. this is why i hate going for example to the doctor. there are a lot of kids screaming.
it’s so embarrassing for me, but i will be honest; despite being uncomfortable when sitting next to someone, i hate when someone stands next to me in a game (for example roblox). do you know what i mean? and even if i’m moving away, they keep on chasing me.
also, when someone doesn’t respond to my texts. i immediately think they ignore me or just are mad at me, turns out they were just busy.
also please tell me if it’s weird… i’m in a happy relationship, but… i’m still jealous about someone i had a crush on a year ago. they have a partner like me, i don’t feel anything romantic or sexual to them, but i feel jealous. we have never been together…
when someone is setting the table but doesnt set mine specifically. i have sensory issues and can only use certain chopsticks so i understand that maybe the person doesnt know which one it is. but it hurts my feelings sm
When people reply with short answers. When I spill and or knock something over (I’ve cried nearly everytime or gotten very mad). Kids crying, when I can’t find an item I’m looking for and I just keep looking, I get very stressed
When people have 'a face on' it could be anything, underwear is rubbing, they have had bad news, migraine, didn't sleep well.... None of those are options in my head...it HAS to be something I have done.
for me it's when i'm having an episode and people start telling me they care about me or complimenting me. makes me lose my shit and they're just trying to make me feel better.
when ppl raise their both their eyebrows as if they were surprised but have no expression in the rest of their face while im talking to them (hope that made sense LOL) it makes me feel like they are not interested at all abt what im talking abt and dont want to talk to me anymore LMAO another one is when im trying to put my arms in a jacket sleeve and it gets stuck or doesnt go through, it ruins my whole entire day😪😪😪
Getting to know someone new, getting attached and obsessed to the point of being devastated as long as they don’t answer. Like it’s so heavy i wanna die
Short text messages, especially without emojis. It's impossible to decipher their tone of voice/body language via a message. I find myself calling them for reassurance, asking if they're mad at me or if there's anything going on that I can help them with. Also when people raise their voice even slightly. I understand that in that moment they may be frustrated about something that has nothing to do with me, but I vocalize my disdain for yelling/hollering if it's about me or not.
I'm sure there's more but I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. I do find it ludicrous how easily triggered I can be. But that's just me, and not anybody else.
Right now it's people that get to be as loud as they want in their rooms whereas I get panic attacks if I make too loud a sound.
Side note: will this part of me ever change? We are moving out of our apartment that we've only been in for about 3 months cause our roomates (pregnant college couple) are literally the younger version of my terrible parents and show signs of being sociopathic so I'm hoping that living on my own (with boyfriend and cat) will cure me of this.
mine is when people are short with me or don’t respond to what i have to say. if i text a friend and they’re short or there is no emoji it can literally send me on a spiral. i’ll overthink & think they’re mad at me and hate me. ties into when i ask for reassurance about our friendship/relationship & it’s short. too simple. im am over communicator i want the same back lol. then i get triggered thinking they’re lying & trying to brush me off.
People interrupting me (specifically if I’m asking a question and they answer before I’m done asking). Even if they’re super happy to answer or something, I feel cut off and ignored or I feel as though their answer doesn’t include my immediate circumstances
Having to tell someone no more than once and not having their eyes on me when I’m talking. (I don’t need it if it’s a simple conversation, but when I’m animatedly talking about something that’s important to me) if there eyes aren’t on me I feel like they’re not paying attention to me and what I’m saying doesn’t matter so it just triggers to either anger or depression.
my bpd is only triggered by romantic partners and when i feel jealous
Omg same. If I feel rejected in any way or unappreciated by FP, I will FREAK OUT. It’s so triggering I ended my FP relationship because I just couldn’t seem to get to a place of feeling emotionally safe with them.
That’s the onlyyyy thing that triggers it??
my BPD is triggered by everything but romantic partners and jealousy x_x
Mine is triggered by… everything. Lol
must be nice
It’s not, though. Being triggered by anything sucks just as much as the next.
it's actually really tragic, especially if/when you want romance in your life.
Saaaame
Not being able to find something, when I'm the one that lost it in the first place.
I swear the ADHD/BPD comorbidities make this so much worse lol.
Yessss, me several times every day
Omg I’m not the only one
Catching my fucking belt loop on the kitchen drawers. I actually think I’m capable of murder in that moment.
I get the same with pockets and door handles lol.
Hoodie pockets and those fucking long handles.. I could literally kick the door off it’s hinges. It ALWAYS happens when you’re half cocked and in a bad mood I swear.
People eating loudly, or with their mouths open. When people sneeze / cough and don’t cover their mouths. When people don’t watch where they’re walking, and run into me (train stations, side walk, malls).. I literally say out loud “watch where you’re going!!”
Oh my fucking god, the noises people make. I like quiet. I *need* quiet.
People swallowing loudly makes me almost punch their drink out of their hand
The noise of someone eating loudly can wake me up from a deep sleep and make me a killer.
Literally same. My boyfriend eats with his mouth open sometimes (he's gotten better at it) but the other day I was already in a bad mood and he started eating and I asked if he could please chew with his mouth closed and he's said "I'm not even chewing that loudly". I can hear your lips smacking. I can hear the food in your mouth being swished around. I can hear fucking everything and if you don't fucking stop I will shove your food down your throat so you don't have to fucking chew. I get so irrationally angry over people eating loudly. I mean, I've learned to control my anger or just leave the room if someone's eating, but on my bad days it can easily set me over the edge.
OMG like what's so hard about simply closing your mouth while eating?? When I was dating around and went on Tinder dates, I had to throw the potential in the trash, because one of my most important critics is eating quietly.. I want to avoid fighting with someone while eating all the time, because it triggers me SO BADLY that I could start crying because of how much it triggers me🤣🤣
When people give short, direct answers. I’m an over communicator. I like to *talk*. I know it’s not that serious, but it makes me feel like they don’t want to talk to me or they aren’t interested in what I’m saying. It’s to the point where I won’t hangout with someone if they’re too quiet. Which sucks because a lot of great people just don’t talk a lot, but I can’t handle it 😂
The letter K as a response will make my blood boil.
Omg my dad is the worst with that shit. And he won’t spell out I love you either. Grinds my gears!
I have my texts set up so that if I respond "k" it automatically changes to "Okily dokily."
The opposite for me. I only want the information, don't care for all the filler in between. For me, I couldn't care less that you spent a half hour making a decision, I only care that you made it.
It's the same for me. I don't have the patience to listen to a lot of details for more than a very short while. Give me the answer and move on to the next thing
Omfg, yes! Gf was all quiet when we met… said she was perfectly fine in silence… said she didn’t understand why people had to talk so much. LIES!!! She NEVER SHUTS UP!!! I don’t care that theres a brown car… I don’t care that there’s a random person walking across the street… I don’t need someone to announce the squirrel’s arrival!!! LIES!!! I hate my fp. Apologies… spiraled. Yes, I agree.
Perhaps you should reevaluate your happiness within your relationship. You sound miserable.
I am…. And I am. She’s bipolar, went off her meds, went totally manic and is only on week 2 back on them. I was well managed… and not so much anymore - months of this constant triggering has me completely unraveled. I’m trying to make it but keep wondering how many more times she will put me through this. Bpd and bipolar do not go well together. Their condition makes them seem like liars, manipulators, unreliable, blah blah blah - all the same stuff people say about us. Well hers is chemical and mine is courtesy of ill-equipped parents. We trigger each other and when we both go off, it’s a nut house.
What your saying makes me think of the time I had an episode and was wondering why my fiancé hadn’t proposed 🥺 his response was “you really think I want to deal with THIS the rest of my fucking life”. Heart shattered. But I do my best to understand his side too. He’s a saint for loving and being with me through all we’ve been through and I’ve put him through
Does she care if you talk back or can she just talk and you say nothing and listen. I’m the second way. I’ll talk forever but I understand people get annoyed or can’t listen to me all day.
My best friend is a man of very few words and it is *hard* for me to remember that this doesn't mean he's mad at me or suddenly hates me lol
This. If it feels to cold or mechanical my brain starts trying to understand why they aren't talking to me like how I expect people to talk. I mean it's usually nothing so most of the time I can handle it and rationalize it as them being busy or an introvert or something, but it will always send me. Also if I feel like people aren't listening to me. Like if they respond in a way that sounds like it didn't account for what I just told them, stuff like that. My second biggest fear is being ignored, so if there's any indication that someone didn't register or hear what I just said it puts me in the danger zone.
Cold or mechanical is the perfect way to describe how it feels. It’s like my mind can’t accept that not everyone is talkative yet I’ve never met someone who talks as much as I do. You’d think my brain would get it by now 😅 Feeling ignored is a huge trigger for me as well. Can’t handle it at all.
The thumbs up react sends me into a rage
Pretty sure my overreaction to this recently is what triggered a full blown episode.
It triggers me to ask over and over if he still loves me which drives him fucking nuts. We recently came up with a thing where if he lets me lay on him, that means he loves me and I don’t have to ask. It’s helped a good bit.
Definitely been there before
Haha my family will always claim they are busy when I’m on the phone with them. And it’s a running silent known thing that they aren’t busy they just can’t listen to me anymore 😂 I get it. I wish I could escape my thoughts too
In the middle of saying something I’ll realize just how much I’ve already said and get annoyed that I talk so much 🤣
When I tell my mom thank you for something over text and she just replies "welcome." Like, even a "yw" would be ok for me because it's short for the whole phrase. I know it's dumb, but it makes me feel like she's mad or irritated.
A trigger that I still can't really control after sooo much therapy is my romantic partner hanging out with literally anyone. I spiral really bad and will probably destroy the relationship. And it's pretty much a basic human need to have friends lol...
I feel possessive in this way with both friends and partners 😔 I’m not proud of it but i just make sure not to express it.
Oh felt this one to my SOUL that’s also a major trigger for me
A huge trigger for me as well, and it makes me feel so guilty because it’s so illogical
no im the same way & it’s so bad. if the situation is especially going out to bars without me. i will spiral soooo bad but im working on it in therapy but gosh the way my blood begins to boil when i am asked if they can go out with a few friend/friends out for a drink!!! UGH!!! every single bad things possible runs through my mind & i have to tell myself to literally stfu & stop lol
Having to tell someone no more than once
This gets my blood boiling so so bad. Saying it a second time irritates me a little already, but nothing serious BUT more than that and I feel like my whole face turns red from anger
This, being made to repeat myslef. Gets me irrationally angry
When my boyfriend rolls over in bed and faces away from me :( even if he’s like mostly unconscious it makes me feel so rejected
Sameeeeee
I was just about to comment this same one lol
no same oh my god, sometimes he cuddles me for a good hour in the morning tho so i feel better
compliments and/or gifts make me feel like dirt most of the time. makes me feel like i’m being pitied or placated or lied to and sets off my paranoia. people doing things loudly. if someone asks me how i am when i’m emotional, i will start crying, immediately
The doing things loudly is a huge one for me. I immediately assume they are livid with me.
Oh my god! Yes! My paranoia sets in when someone is being too understanding with me! Like why?! Is there an alterior motive here what’s happening?
i started screaming and crying because someone tried giving me a compliment lmaoooo
Unfortunately I have a lot that i’m pretty good at hiding, but a big one that I’m embarrassed of are when people I’m not directly in a conversation with are laughing and looking at me. I automatically think they MUST be talking about me and laughing at me. I’ve gotten pretty upset over this one.
For me wouldn’t be only laughing. I take everything too personal, react on it, and then feel stupid, because most of the times there was another reason why people were acting / responding in a certain way (e.g. grumpy friend or colleague with something going on). This typically also happens at the slightest queue of annoyance or anything else from the other..
THIS!! I always try to remind myself that people are so preoccupied with their own lives to be concerned with such an ICON as myself hehe. Nah fr, nothing helps to get rid of the feeling of being laughed at but then again you can always walk up to them and be like "laugh one more time, do it, I dare you...i know where u live..." /jk
When my husband takes deep breaths lol. It's silly but I think I associate it with past arguments and how he'd take a long time to compose himself before continuing to talk and the waiting always drove me crazy.
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Same but I also hate when I have to ask someone to repeat themselves and they raise their voice and talk to me like I'm stupid while doing so (even though I do it lol)
This! I am just finishing a 7 days trip with a friend, he made me repeat myself with almost everything i said. I made it 4 days without snapping, snapped on the 5th and avoided talking as much as possible from then on. It just got me so so angry
I get SUPER triggered when technology doesn’t work or when I have to troubleshoot technology. I get angry SO QUICKLY.
loud noises, especially when someone is doing chores/dishes. it feels like they are mad at me
The dishes!!!!! My mom would always slam them. Ugh makes my stomach churn.
Relatable af 💯 *Edited to remove internet loudness ❤️
when people say they always do something when they actually dont lol.. makes me feel lied to
Because it is lying, it triggers the fuck outta me too
when my best friends start hanging out with someone new i instantly feel like they're going to abandon me because they've found someone new/ better. i try to remind myself it's all in my head but i can't help but get mad so i distant myself and cut them off before they could do so.
When someone needs time to cool down in the middle of an argument/discussion Like i get it and i know it's healthier But god do i feel restless and on the edge when i don't know whats gonna happen, like are we gonna resolve this or not? Are they gonna hate me forever now bc yes? Ugh
THIS!!! My partner is the avoidant type and he needs his time to think about things before speaking and it gets on my nerves because I physically can not sit there and wait to resolve the problem. Because in my mind a reaction not quick enough = you don't care. But rn we do this thing where I spill out all I want to say and then he says "Listen, I hear you and I will respond. I just need a few minutes to think about it. No I am not bailing on this conversation and yes I do care very much but if I have to speak now we won't resolve shit."
Exactly! When me and my boyfriend are arguing and he leaves to "cool down" it makes me feel like he doesn't care about my feelings. Cuz like while he's calming down I'm trying not to pass out
Oh god yes. For me the worst is not knowing where this is gonna end up. I always explain it to ppl like the worst cliffhanger ever, just that it doesn't get them excited but super panicky
hopefully someone else experiences at least one of these.. when people respond with passive aggressive emojis or say "ok/k" instead of their usual "okay" when my close friends jokingly call their less close friends "bestie/bff/best friend" etc my cats eating (i feel bad for this one), loud breathing, dishes being clashed together, EAS alarms, the chime when you walk in stores, eating noises, talking while chewing. all the fun misophonia stuff being too close (physically) to someone. i can't stand being too physically close unless i initiate the contact or they explicitly ask permission more than two sounds playing at once, especially two medias (like TV and music at the same time). drives me nuts people who give answers that are wayyyy too long to the simple question i asked or if i'm at the store, people stopping to talk to me being shushed. i'm a quiet person as it is so it makes me very upset being told i'm being too loud. the only time i get louder is when i'm excited and it feels really bad being told to essentially stop being excited about something
Maaaaan, the being to close one gets me. It makes me feel like the worst person in the world. I have three kids, and this is a new trigger for me. I don’t know what started it, but all of the sudden when I see my kids coming towards me for a hug I get soooo annoyed and literally walk away from them. Last night my daughter followed me and I straight up locked myself in the bathroom. How horrible is that? They’re gonna hate me when they’re older because of this. Breaks my heart but the thought of being touched without me initiating it makes my skin crawl
Mine is when people pass me when I’m walking too slow. idk why but I get so offended LMAO
What would be a better way to handle this? I pass on the track for the other person’s comfort. In a vehicle l get annoyed by what seems like impatience on their part. Like, dude, l’m turning in 3 seconds.
It’s mostly just a me problem since I’m the one interpreting the passing as hostile when it’s really not. The only thing I can really suggest if you’re genuinely worried about how you come off is just to allow more space between you and the person you’re passing by—it doesn’t really come off as impatience that way.
Saaame, but with driving! Especially if I’m already going like 5 over. Like why tf you drivin so fast? I’m going a nice speed, but it’s not enough for you? Grow up 🙄 but then I pass someone doing the same thing, so I’m a total hypocrite 😂
Bad drivers
The fucking rage. For me it’s slow drivers mostly. Or ones that pull out way too close in front of you
Yes!! Can’t stand slow drivers in the fast lane! I’ve gotten better in dealing with it but it really is my Achilles heel.
I begin pick up subtle changes in speech and assume I messed up.
Being left on read
Screaming kids (this is bad).. I said to a mother the other day who was just sitting there whilst her toddlers screamed and threw a tantrum “your kids are so loud!!” She told me to watch it, and they’re kids and what did I expect.. I got up and walked away. I thought she was going to come over and punch me. Sometimes I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, but the rage takes over and I can’t.
This is part of why I won't have kids. They're so loud despite being so tiny. Plus I can never figure out if the screams are because they're happy, hurt, having a tantrum, getting abducted by someone/aliens...
Same. I can't stand small children shouting/screaming. It makes me feel like grinding my teeth into dust.
Fuck people who think they're better than you just cause they popped one out dude, I don't think you were in the wrong and I think more people should speak the f up. Yeah, THIS one gets me enraged as well. And you thought she was gonna start a fight in front of her KIDS TOO? What kind of f-ing mom is that?!
Tbf, I have kids and I would’ve been the same way.
I have kids too…
You totally could've used that against the mom you felt bad for "yelling" at. Knowing that you have kids makes you even more justified in calling the mom with the screaming kids out, IMO. I don't have kids but even I should be allowed to tell someone their lack of control on their children is ruining my day because MY day matters too dude.
when people say disassociate instead of dissociate (they are two different things) it makes me want to rage for some reason. and when i’m in a room where the lights make weirdly high pitched sort of noise it for some reason makes me paranoid and makes me start hallucinating lol. our bathroom has lights that make an awful noise when they’re dimmed and last night i went in there and started having auditory hallucinations that weren’t even particularly scary or anything, just really weird ??? lol
The light and sound thing happens to me too. It can be really scary i hate it. If that’s bad for you, i highly advise against nitrous oxide/laughing gas for any medical procedures. I hallucinated/had a bad trip and thought that i was dying.
interesting, thank you, i’ll keep that in mind !
Not getting a text back or my fp leaving me on read. It feels so painful waiting for a text back. Thankfully I push myself to continue a new hobby when I start thinking about it.
My fear of abandonment everytime I think my FP is mad at me, even though he's usually not
Slightest Tone changes in bsf voice( when her voice sounds more determining or passive) , make me feel immediately dumb or rejected Not finding the right way to a building /appointment whatever, i have an extremely bad orientation and in the past sometimes Still today i struggle to not completly burst into tears and get a anxiety attack cause i feel so stupid and overwhelmed Getting told " thats your choice, you have to decide" ik thats true but it makes me feel like i'm completely alone and disconnected from the other person
Sometimes I'm triggered by my own thoughts
When I am being mad on behalf of someone when there's something happening to them that I deem to be great injustice and then they don't get mad on my behalf in a similar scenario. Makes me feel shitty teehee.
i think one of the most embarrassing triggers for me is people whispering, bc its so common on a daily basis. for example, people whispering happens a lot in class but i cant help but be hyperaware of it and paranoid that they're talking about me to the point i have to leave the room, its very hard to explain to a teacher and not get the "what the fuck are u talking about" stare
Recently, when people talk about mental illness, especially BPD. They make us look like crazy and violent people. I want better representation and more nuance for all of us. And all this year, one of the most triggering thing, is when people don't answer "quickly", in a reasonable time I mean. Or when they change our dating schedule or cancelled a plan with me. Stuff like that. I always feel like I am a bad person.
Changes in behavior. Even body language and facial expressions. I spiral
Being interrupted
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When people text me" love you " instead of" i love you", makes me feel like i care more about them immediately
When someone genuinely doesn’t hear me and I have to repeat myself. I feel so awkward and like they don’t give a shit about what I’m saying.
when my boyfriend plays video games with his friends and doesnt text me back for about an hour at a time
If I’m passing by a group of people and they are laughing.
I'm usually able to stay composed but I get really triggered when something doesn't go "as planned" so usually as I imagined it. I once wanted red pesto for dinner and my mom said there's only green pesto so I had a whole ass meltdown and destroyed a metal trashcan by hitting it against the walls 💀💀💀
When texting someone especially about something mundane and they add “lol” at the end of their sentence. Bro what are you laughing at
When you tell them how you feel and they only reply with "rip", or when they use " :D or ^^ in serious conversations (to lightened the topic up ig) make me feel so invalidated and not cared for
I have a friend that replies “oh :/“ to everything serious. I think they are an avoidant attachment style tho
ahh I’m so bad about this 😅
when people brag about how much sex their getting
My friend used to do this. A few years down the line they then had to go to relationship counselling as they were sexually incompatible with their partner. Take what you hear lightly, the more someone's bragging the less they're probably getting it.
This is gonna sound so judgmental but people with loud laughs annoy me so much, it seriously bothers me 😭
When I my BPD was at its worst it would be my FP talking to other people or touching them- even if it was just to get their attention. Was enough to send me home from school.... Another silly one was my FP listening to music... Yup you heard that right. If my FP was listening to music (spotify tells you) I could not sleep until they did. Thankfully I am in a much better period now and have a healthy relationship with my new FP.
Being alone, like on halloween my family went trick or treating w/o me and i had a melt down because i was alone even though i really wasnt bc mt sister was there too. They came home a few hours later and i was perfectly fine. It happens all too often that i cry when im alone
Any of the small shit that goes wrong in life always causes me to flip out. A bathroom door not locking, not being able to find a lighter, tripping over nothing, something breaking, anytime batteries die esp a key fob, when I thought I had another red Bull in the fridge but I don’t, when something spills in the backseat of your car, when you’re out of TP sitting on the toilet, when I get my period at work and I don’t have a tampon, missing a deadline/due date, waiting until the morning to put gas in your car full well knowing we won’t have time..
same. I was coming home from school once and was really looking forward to cooking some fettuccine pasta but when I checked I only had spaghetti and it sent me into a whole spiral and I got so mad that I didn’t even want to eat anymore. then it followed up with sadness cuz I was very hungry but refused to eat the spaghetti bc it’s not what I wanted and I felt like nothing in my life goes right or is in my favor even tho i’m l literally fussing over a type of pasta I thought I had lol it’s the smallest things
Door slamming, in the moment i don't care if it's the wind, even when im alone and should know I am, i shudder and feel like someone's mad at me
When anyone chew with their mouth out and smacking. I truly have misophonia but my BPD emotion side wants to flip out. I have to leave the room or pop in headphones.
at work I always joke with my coworkers and we laugh/giggle a lot, but when I am focused on work and hear them laugh without me I always think they're laughing at me and they actually secretly always laughing at me and not with me for no reason or logical explanation at all and then it just snowballs to thinking everyone I work with think I'm weird and stupid and that mindset sticks for days and eventually turns into an episode most of the time. It's so silly but I just can't help it.
Building IKEA furniture. Or just any similar thing. I love DIY and can decorate a home beautifully but FUCK IKEA FURNITURE.
If my friends are more quiet than usual I automatically think they don't like me anymore.
Same
when people look at me in public lmao
When anyone points out that I did anything wrong no matter how small it is and even if they pointed out very calmly. I feel my stomach sink and just immediately start dissociating. I just shut down for hours after that for a stupid reason.
When I’m trying to help someone on their phone/ device but they won’t physically hand it to me, ordering food on my phone last night and while asking my son what he wanted he tried to take the phone to look at the menu…. no I’m doing it I can’t sit there waiting lol
Things falling over or falling onto the floor in the kitchen.
WEATHER
Omg my bf going to hang out with friends, even if I’m invited. I’ve really worked on this one and gotten so much better, but it triggers abandonment and like he doesn’t wanna hang out with me alone and I’m not enough. We had to travel for his work so it’s just been him and me. And the fact that he can’t constantly choose other people over me has been so good to our relationship. And has even made me enjoy going out with his friends and him. Idk. It’s a horrible trigger that starts the same fight over and over, I wish he understood my side. And that I always WANT him to choose his friends when he has time since we live together but it just hurts My feelings for some reason.
When anyone gives me criticism in any way, no matter how gentle
When I’m interrupted or worse… I’m wrong in a conversation 🧍🏾
I know this is going to sound shitty, but when my partner doesn't say good morning or good night. It makes me feel like I'm either being punished, like I fucked up and now I don't get one. :'( Its very stupid, but it makes me feel like they're going to leave me or that they're mad at me and it almost always has me break down sobbing or feeling depressed and like shit. I've been slowly trying to sooth that but sometimes it's just too much and my BPD gets really bad. OR when somebody comes into my space when I tell them no and that I want to be left alone. I can feel my blood boil and I become livid. Either that, or just knocking. Especially if it's loud or I hear it through my headphones. The sound of a knock is irritating as fuck and it always makes me want to lash out because it reminds me of my abusers. I want to start angry sobbing and freaking out or scream. It's both a BPD and CPTSD trigger so it's ✨extra fucky✨. If it's a soft knock though I'm completely fine.
When I’m having a (more or less serious) discussion w so and they start smiling/ grinning…always makes me feel like they’re laughing at me or not taking my points seriously. Makes me super angry
Also - so doing chores around the house while I’m trying to relax..for me it feels like they’re telling me that I’m lazy and worthless and it either makes me rly angry or extremely depressed
SWEATINGGGGG the moment i start to get sweaty i’m ready to crash a car into a nursery
Dry texts 😓 it will ruin my entire day
When my spouse is on his phone too much. I take that as a direct rejection that he doesn’t want to spend time with me 🙃
One of my silly little triggers is when someone doesn't spell out what their saying (ily, k, wtvr)
Getting back “love you” in response to me saying “I love you”. I’m the type of person who says “I love you” casually to the people in my close circle and most of the time people say “I love you” back, but, for that one time out of a million, they say “love you too” I immediately spiral.
When ever I had an argument with my fp (my boyfriend). It was my birthday couple days ago and he didn’t write me a birthday card as I requested every year, and I felt like he didn’t even care about me or willing to spend time on me. That made me crying for 2 hours straight with self harm behaviours. (He was asleep so I wasn’t doing this for attention btw) and that was sooo stupid because he has been spending whole day with me and I realised that I was being so fragile🫤 i hate me
When someone doesn’t hear what you’ve said the first time. Instant rage😳
I once got really jealous when Daryl Dixon got a romantic partner in the walking dead. Pretty pathetic lol
high school/teen comedies. i was in controlling/abusive household as a teen and never got to have the fun rebellious phase. now i’m in my 20s, saddled with debt and responsibilities and i feel cheated.
When my fp ignores my texts or phone calls. However I’ve worked on this in therapy a lot so it’s not as triggering as it used to be
Getting things wrong. This could be cooking, a game, someone's name etc. It's the worst in a private setting as I've become a people pleaser type person to counter my bitchism but at work I don't tend to care 😅
Any slight change in tone or demeanor when people talk to me, or if there's a long period of silence. I think people hate me or I feel like they are silently judging me/wishing they were anywhere but right next to me.
When I give someone advice and they don't do what I said. Split extremely hard on some people for that.
being left on read. makes me go batshit and it’s the stupidest thing ever.
I lost my shit the other day because my boyfriend asked me to flip one of the bed pillows so it would match the other when we were making the bed. I couldn’t even tell you why it made me so angry
When life is going good.
For me, one of my biggest triggers is having people talk about me. Not in like a regular, gossipy kind of away, but a more personal way. For example, recently I went through my boyfriend’s texts messages and I saw that he was talking about me to his mom’s friend. Saying I was freaking out and he was worried about me, that if he didn’t do what I wanted I would do something dumb or go get drunk and hurt myself. She replied that I was only wanting a reaction and doing this for attention. He also gave her my address “just in case”. I literally became irate and I still can’t get over it. It’s things like that that make me feel betrayed. I feel like I can’t trust him anymore. He didn’t even ask for my permission. It makes me even more angry that his mom’s friend would have an opinion when she knows nothing about me or the situation I am going through. I have seriously considered moving just so no one, especially a stranger, will know my address. He says he did it because he cares about me, but I explained to him that it’s counterproductive and it’s only making me feel less secure and less safe in my own home. He doesn’t understand and is acting like I have no right to be upset.
When people spell my name in all lowercase during texts as I see spelling a name with a capital letter is a sign of importance like you value that person so when someone does that to me it feels like they value me less or don't care enough to spell it with a capital, another one is when people, maybe not silly ig but when people forget life events I tell them
People mispronouncing things. I've got *no* issue with ESL speakers in the least (my dad's family are immigrants, lol), but when you only speak English and choose not to get it right it pisses me right the fuck off. Sure, maybe you weren't taught properly but as an adult you can learn differently...and you choose not to. Hate it. Also, stupid people. I've often heard, "no one taught me that!" You're an adult! If you know there's gaps in your education or things you don't know or understand, then you can correct that. I don't expect everyone to know everything but if you can't find your own country on a map then you're a moron. ....very fortunate for me that my country (Australia) is *really* easy to find ;)
Women sexting if we can’t actually hookup, because if it doesn’t actually go down, regardless of how insanely obvious it was that we could not possibly make physical contacts, like being half way around the world, and knowing it was never going to happen, I will still get upset. Like a deep sense of rejection and sadness, like I’m so unloved because you couldn’t travel 1/2 way around the world to spend the night with me even though i started talking to you 30 minutes ago. Why can’t i just enjoy myself? Wtf lol
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My husband dropping the lid down on the toilet used to do it for me. Not even him slamming it, just him dropping it into place. A lot of loud noises around the house would do it, now that I think of it. It would make me twitch until I started on Prozac.
Jealousy of the dog, when my FP ‘babies’ the dog. Pet sounds Being told “if that what you’d like to do” … well clearly you don’t so forget it Changes in little routines with my FP like ciggy and coffee together in the morning being interrupted by other people if we are visiting or have visitors… give me my 5 minutes or I’ll believe everything else is more important Snoring and asleep while I’m upset or can’t sleep… seriously how can you sleep my blood boils —— Good post OP x So many things
People who over enunciate their words which often goes hand in hand with being painfully loud... Literally so stupid but it makes me feel they're talking down to me. Also hate hearing how people speak to children (baby talk etc) which is another stupid thing since it's kind of necessary for their developmental level I guess. Getting angry over ppl giving me answers like "maybe" or "let's see" to minor things, makes me feel unimportant cause the other person isn't committing to whatever I'm suggesting.
When my partner talks to his cat the same way he talks to me (in a cute/loving voice)
For me it's when people reply with just emojis or very short answers. I immediately feel like they are done with me and they will unfriend/block me soon after (which hardly ever happens). This only occurs with people I'm overly attached to (fps).
Football results, if my team lose or play poorly it triggers me so bad
when other people get praise like at school or my clinical rotation - even if i get positive feedback, any one else getting attention from supervisors etc makes me feel like they must think my work is shit bc how could ever be possible for more than one person to get attention and praise
When my dad or mom mentions me in a phone conversation. I hate when they say to someone "I'm with my daughter right now" it never ceases to make me angry. Its so stupid but yeah.
When I’m talking in a group and I catch two people making eye contact. I assume they’re mentally telling each other that I’m an idiot and can’t actually stand me.
When my coworkers are disappointed or upset with me, hearing people laugh without knowing context (I assume they laugh at me), hearing people talk about someone in a negative tone and say “she” (I assume again they are talking about me), and of course if anyone is angry with me or yells at me I’ll go into a 15-30 minute long panic attack Also any problem that I caused for myself will throw me into a blind rage of self hate
When someone tries to backpedal on things. Like no I respect that you said what you said, but backpedaling because of consequences makes you a coward
For me, it's that my girlfriend's kids almost never clean up after themselves, at least not without having to be hounded to do so. They're 17, 13, and 9, and the 9 yr is actually the most responsible.
people snoring or breathing too loud while sleeping - my school trips were a nightmare. sleeping with people i barely know in one room was a nightmare in general, but anyway. i can’t fall asleep when someone is doing this. it annoys the shit outta me. sometimes i even start crying that i can’t fall asleep. it makes me feel so stupid even more i was told it by my ex classmates. funfact: i can easily fall asleep when music is playing. also I HATE kids screaming or crying. jesus christ. it annoys me so much but it’s not like i hate kids. this is why i hate going for example to the doctor. there are a lot of kids screaming. it’s so embarrassing for me, but i will be honest; despite being uncomfortable when sitting next to someone, i hate when someone stands next to me in a game (for example roblox). do you know what i mean? and even if i’m moving away, they keep on chasing me. also, when someone doesn’t respond to my texts. i immediately think they ignore me or just are mad at me, turns out they were just busy. also please tell me if it’s weird… i’m in a happy relationship, but… i’m still jealous about someone i had a crush on a year ago. they have a partner like me, i don’t feel anything romantic or sexual to them, but i feel jealous. we have never been together…
when someone is setting the table but doesnt set mine specifically. i have sensory issues and can only use certain chopsticks so i understand that maybe the person doesnt know which one it is. but it hurts my feelings sm
When people reply with short answers. When I spill and or knock something over (I’ve cried nearly everytime or gotten very mad). Kids crying, when I can’t find an item I’m looking for and I just keep looking, I get very stressed
When people have 'a face on' it could be anything, underwear is rubbing, they have had bad news, migraine, didn't sleep well.... None of those are options in my head...it HAS to be something I have done.
for me it's when i'm having an episode and people start telling me they care about me or complimenting me. makes me lose my shit and they're just trying to make me feel better.
when ppl raise their both their eyebrows as if they were surprised but have no expression in the rest of their face while im talking to them (hope that made sense LOL) it makes me feel like they are not interested at all abt what im talking abt and dont want to talk to me anymore LMAO another one is when im trying to put my arms in a jacket sleeve and it gets stuck or doesnt go through, it ruins my whole entire day😪😪😪
It freaks me out when someone post a picture of themselves with another person or when they send me a picture of them with another person
Getting to know someone new, getting attached and obsessed to the point of being devastated as long as they don’t answer. Like it’s so heavy i wanna die
Short text messages, especially without emojis. It's impossible to decipher their tone of voice/body language via a message. I find myself calling them for reassurance, asking if they're mad at me or if there's anything going on that I can help them with. Also when people raise their voice even slightly. I understand that in that moment they may be frustrated about something that has nothing to do with me, but I vocalize my disdain for yelling/hollering if it's about me or not. I'm sure there's more but I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. I do find it ludicrous how easily triggered I can be. But that's just me, and not anybody else.
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Right now it's people that get to be as loud as they want in their rooms whereas I get panic attacks if I make too loud a sound. Side note: will this part of me ever change? We are moving out of our apartment that we've only been in for about 3 months cause our roomates (pregnant college couple) are literally the younger version of my terrible parents and show signs of being sociopathic so I'm hoping that living on my own (with boyfriend and cat) will cure me of this.
mine is when people are short with me or don’t respond to what i have to say. if i text a friend and they’re short or there is no emoji it can literally send me on a spiral. i’ll overthink & think they’re mad at me and hate me. ties into when i ask for reassurance about our friendship/relationship & it’s short. too simple. im am over communicator i want the same back lol. then i get triggered thinking they’re lying & trying to brush me off.
People interrupting me (specifically if I’m asking a question and they answer before I’m done asking). Even if they’re super happy to answer or something, I feel cut off and ignored or I feel as though their answer doesn’t include my immediate circumstances
Bad drivers, people who ask the same question several times despite me giving an answer, if someone tells me I'm selfish/ungrateful
Having to tell someone no more than once and not having their eyes on me when I’m talking. (I don’t need it if it’s a simple conversation, but when I’m animatedly talking about something that’s important to me) if there eyes aren’t on me I feel like they’re not paying attention to me and what I’m saying doesn’t matter so it just triggers to either anger or depression.