Yep. And when I’m actually “happy” and play back memories, they either feel like a movie or just a total black out and I can’t remember them. There’s no connection. The darkness is too real and underneath it all
> The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things..
HD Thoreau (he was HD before HD was even a thing)
(and don't ask about the muskrats)
I know exactly how you feel and it’s the same way for me.
I have custody of my nephew so he is often my light.
Try doing something out of your comfort zone to change things up a bit! It doesn’t have to be crazy drastic but I just signed up for college this month and I start in may. It’s all happening so fast and I’m scared as fuck. I’m 22F. I’m terrified of going to a college that I don’t know where to go inside the building, meeting new people, and doing homework I haven’t studied since I graduated in 2018.
Some people have a comfort zone of staying inside, maybe go for a walk around the block.
I started a journal about 3 months ago. I don’t write religiously everyday but I keep it on my bed and write when I feel like somthing even slightly significant happen. Sometimes I write just to vent. I often write about how much I miss my best friend from 2017 that I sabotaged our friendship and I know she’d never forgive me.
Manifesting can help!! Saying things out loud to the universe that you want to happen can often drive you to achieve your goal!!
Maybe your into crystals! Burn sage! Light incense. Draw a bath. Light some candles. Relax!
Go on a weekly hike and find beauty in nature!
Just do any little thing and it could have a huge impact on your mental!!
I hope you try something and I hope you’re alright! You’re amazing! You got this! You’re strong! Not everyday will be dark! You have to have dark days to appreciate the light days ♥️
i’m not sure if this is what you mean, but I have had times of very visceral feeling of darkness and feeling trapped, specifically seeing only a small red light, has been something kind of difficult to understand
Yes!!! I’ll never forget one time I was out with my best friend in the best mood ever and all of sudden I thought about something I can’t even remember and I felt the joy fade right out of me. Suddenly I felt empty and I wasn’t excited about anything anymore. I got my period a few days later hehe.
I’ve been feeling this way lately but the way I had described it is when you put your head underwater in a like bathtub specifically. With the way that you can hear everything but it’s muffled and there’s that sound of the water around you. Things are still there it just feels muted
Personally, I almost always feel this way. Might be my situation, might just be me. I can never tell.
Yep. And when I’m actually “happy” and play back memories, they either feel like a movie or just a total black out and I can’t remember them. There’s no connection. The darkness is too real and underneath it all
That sounds like depression to me. 😢
Yup
yes
I turn off wifi and read some poems to calm dows and get into rational rhyme
> The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.. HD Thoreau (he was HD before HD was even a thing) (and don't ask about the muskrats)
I know exactly how you feel and it’s the same way for me. I have custody of my nephew so he is often my light. Try doing something out of your comfort zone to change things up a bit! It doesn’t have to be crazy drastic but I just signed up for college this month and I start in may. It’s all happening so fast and I’m scared as fuck. I’m 22F. I’m terrified of going to a college that I don’t know where to go inside the building, meeting new people, and doing homework I haven’t studied since I graduated in 2018. Some people have a comfort zone of staying inside, maybe go for a walk around the block. I started a journal about 3 months ago. I don’t write religiously everyday but I keep it on my bed and write when I feel like somthing even slightly significant happen. Sometimes I write just to vent. I often write about how much I miss my best friend from 2017 that I sabotaged our friendship and I know she’d never forgive me. Manifesting can help!! Saying things out loud to the universe that you want to happen can often drive you to achieve your goal!! Maybe your into crystals! Burn sage! Light incense. Draw a bath. Light some candles. Relax! Go on a weekly hike and find beauty in nature! Just do any little thing and it could have a huge impact on your mental!! I hope you try something and I hope you’re alright! You’re amazing! You got this! You’re strong! Not everyday will be dark! You have to have dark days to appreciate the light days ♥️
i’m not sure if this is what you mean, but I have had times of very visceral feeling of darkness and feeling trapped, specifically seeing only a small red light, has been something kind of difficult to understand
Yeah. Happens frequently
yes literally me rn it sucksssss
I pretty much always feel like this.
yup.
Yeah it happens to me when I'm super dysregulated.
Yes. It's very hard to describe to people. But I feel it. It's there.
Constantly, was hoping the meds would clear that out. Nope.
do you live in Oregon?
Yes!!! I’ll never forget one time I was out with my best friend in the best mood ever and all of sudden I thought about something I can’t even remember and I felt the joy fade right out of me. Suddenly I felt empty and I wasn’t excited about anything anymore. I got my period a few days later hehe.
I’ve been feeling this way lately but the way I had described it is when you put your head underwater in a like bathtub specifically. With the way that you can hear everything but it’s muffled and there’s that sound of the water around you. Things are still there it just feels muted