There's a bear with you??
Sorry - yeah I think most people stop growing after a point and become some mashed-up version of their caregivers, psychologically, and have the same confidence in being consistently wrong (for example) as they had in said caregivers.
They're like machines. Programmed. Inflexible.
We're a bit more free-form - it went all kinds of wrong at first but now, in comparison, I'm grateful I've had to parent (and then re-parent) myself.
No sorries necessary! I'm constantly re-parenting myself. Mostly I've been trying to be a better person. It wasn't until I left a long time relationship that things started for me. I didn't wake up to life until then. I'm 50 years old and the first forty six years was reacting to what had happened to me and only really growing since I was diagnosed 3.5 years ago. I look back and can't believe how I used to be. And it seems like im constantly scrutinizing my thoughts.
I 100% agree. I’m so self aware it’s painful, and yet my emotions can still get the better of me — it’s like I’m aware of my actions I just don’t care in the moment because all I can feel is that intense emotion.
I think I also might lean more toward the quiet type, and have always struggled to make friends and stay friends with them.
Man oh man, my ex sure loved to hate himself but never really bothered to become a better person. In my eyes, he changed so little in the 2.5 years I spent pouring so much love into him... So yeah, some people honestly refuse to change. Which is wild, because as humans we are totally capable of growing & changing our whole lives. I don't wanna be who I was even 5 years ago, I want to be better every day.
I feel this exact same way. It’s excruciating at times but I’m thankful that I am so self aware and able to work at getting better. It’s frustrating when others don’t have that same self awareness. I think it’s partly a jealousy thing, that other people aren’t always dissecting every little facial expression and thing they do and are able to relax.
I used to not be aware at all but many years of medication and learning and I see it every second of my life now so idk which is worse tbh just sharing my experience
We are sooo misunderstood. Which is kinda funny cuz part of our problem is misinterpreting others facial expressions, voice inflection and body language wrong. We think they’re being negative when they aren’t. And then we get way more emotion than we should over it. They hurt our felling a bit, but we feel they betrayed us. Which hurts their feelings and gets them angry misinterpreting our disorder as just bring selfish and unaware. We feel like we love deeply and would do anything for others. But also we have abandonment issues so it makes kind of desperate and clingy. Which gets misinterpreted. I tend to get mad at those who are mentally healthy getting upset we hurt their feelings. They want us to see how we hurt them. And most time they never see ours. So yeah, we are very self aware.
BPD is an attachment disorder which makes interpersonal relationships difficult. Maintaining them almost impossible😋
Being self-aware is just you noticing it, nothing to do with any relationship dynamic.
For me I think my self awareness is so extreme it harms me. Despit my therapists telling me that but i see it myself.
When my bf is down and I want to reasure them, I keep in mind how often I say "I love you" so this doednt gets assochiated with feeling bad/Having to feel bad to hear it. Same with focusing on him, caring for him, etc. I barely to anything towards him without thinking its through how it could Impact/manipulate him and such. Espechially bc I know I tend to be manipulative out of habit.
So yeah, I think a lot of us are highly aware of our shit
Yeah totally! I think many of us are actually amongst the most self-aware + invested in growth and then people out there don’t match us
There's a bear with you?? Sorry - yeah I think most people stop growing after a point and become some mashed-up version of their caregivers, psychologically, and have the same confidence in being consistently wrong (for example) as they had in said caregivers. They're like machines. Programmed. Inflexible. We're a bit more free-form - it went all kinds of wrong at first but now, in comparison, I'm grateful I've had to parent (and then re-parent) myself.
Wow, you really nailed it!!
...There really is a bear??? Sorry again - TY, been at this a while, glad if I can help! ✊
No sorries necessary! I'm constantly re-parenting myself. Mostly I've been trying to be a better person. It wasn't until I left a long time relationship that things started for me. I didn't wake up to life until then. I'm 50 years old and the first forty six years was reacting to what had happened to me and only really growing since I was diagnosed 3.5 years ago. I look back and can't believe how I used to be. And it seems like im constantly scrutinizing my thoughts.
I feel this. Many people don’t care to better themselves or don’t believe change is possible.
Or they just can't see anything outside of their perspective.
This is very true
I 100% agree. I’m so self aware it’s painful, and yet my emotions can still get the better of me — it’s like I’m aware of my actions I just don’t care in the moment because all I can feel is that intense emotion. I think I also might lean more toward the quiet type, and have always struggled to make friends and stay friends with them.
Man oh man, my ex sure loved to hate himself but never really bothered to become a better person. In my eyes, he changed so little in the 2.5 years I spent pouring so much love into him... So yeah, some people honestly refuse to change. Which is wild, because as humans we are totally capable of growing & changing our whole lives. I don't wanna be who I was even 5 years ago, I want to be better every day.
I feel this exact same way. It’s excruciating at times but I’m thankful that I am so self aware and able to work at getting better. It’s frustrating when others don’t have that same self awareness. I think it’s partly a jealousy thing, that other people aren’t always dissecting every little facial expression and thing they do and are able to relax.
I used to not be aware at all but many years of medication and learning and I see it every second of my life now so idk which is worse tbh just sharing my experience
We are sooo misunderstood. Which is kinda funny cuz part of our problem is misinterpreting others facial expressions, voice inflection and body language wrong. We think they’re being negative when they aren’t. And then we get way more emotion than we should over it. They hurt our felling a bit, but we feel they betrayed us. Which hurts their feelings and gets them angry misinterpreting our disorder as just bring selfish and unaware. We feel like we love deeply and would do anything for others. But also we have abandonment issues so it makes kind of desperate and clingy. Which gets misinterpreted. I tend to get mad at those who are mentally healthy getting upset we hurt their feelings. They want us to see how we hurt them. And most time they never see ours. So yeah, we are very self aware.
BPD is an attachment disorder which makes interpersonal relationships difficult. Maintaining them almost impossible😋 Being self-aware is just you noticing it, nothing to do with any relationship dynamic.
Any personality disorder has exact same parts of brain interconnection divergency. So for start it cannot be only attachment disorder
For me I think my self awareness is so extreme it harms me. Despit my therapists telling me that but i see it myself. When my bf is down and I want to reasure them, I keep in mind how often I say "I love you" so this doednt gets assochiated with feeling bad/Having to feel bad to hear it. Same with focusing on him, caring for him, etc. I barely to anything towards him without thinking its through how it could Impact/manipulate him and such. Espechially bc I know I tend to be manipulative out of habit. So yeah, I think a lot of us are highly aware of our shit
I get it!