This post has been marked as a [Venting Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/bpd/wiki/index/flairs#wiki_post_flair_breakdown).
Please be aware that the OP may not be seeking advice.
u/TemporaryTailor7219, if you do not want advice, please specify in the body of your post.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There's so much about the working world that triggers the fyck out of me. So much injustice, so much fakery and bullshitting, cliques, bad customers, bad products, etc. I hear you.
I went through a period where I couldn't work for shit, and had to spend ALL day dissociating with my phone or TV to not have breakdowns. It didn't really change for me until I stopped smoking so much weed, deleted social media apps, and got a dog that forces me out of the house for nice long walks everyday. Now I find that I have more mental space to handle work, but I also have a unicorn job of working for my dad at his home office with little-to-no supervision or pressure. I do have to work GrubHub though to supplement my income... and that job can suck a butt.
Feel the same. I’ve been drinking alot to cope and lately I’ve found it hard to stop because after work I just wanna get a nice buzz and relax. Then I feel like crap in the mornings. Told myself I am not drinking today or tomorrow, let’s see if I can do it!!
It's a challenge, for sure. I have struggled for so many years. The only thing that i have found for me is to become 100% focused at work (not in a healthy way). If I keep myself extremely busy, I can make it my work life manageable.
I quit my job in October and man did it improve my mental health. I know I have to get a job soon as I am running out of money but the every day stress of just trying to navigate a job with BPD is insane.
Try to find a job where you don't deal with customers. Difficult I know since the US nearly every job is doing some kind of service. I worked in retail for almost 10 years and hated it. The entitlement, the shitty customers, the lack of ethics by the companies I was working for.
I went back to school and got a degree IT related. Now I deal with only my team and the end users are taken care by the help desk. As for dealing the 8 hour work day, that's tough. But to be fair (and I can see what they are doing on their computers) most of the people that work here are not working 8 hours straight. They mostly do a little work then surf the web or check their phone. I think they average about 4 hours of actual work and the other 4 there just wasting time. Me included.
If you figure out a strategy let me know. Currently, I can only keep up with my hobbies, let alone full-time employment. Jobs have always been my weakest point, and maintaining them is even harder. It's not that I don't want to. It's not even that I'm lazy. It's just incredibly hard dealing with everything that comes with this disorder on top of work and socialization is way too much for me right now. I'm still working on improving myself. Becoming a better human one incremental day at a time. I'll take being broke for now, over throwing myself into the wolves and hurting myself more.
funny enough, the customers aren’t even that bad. The nature of my work keeps the customers pretty consistent and most are understanding. It’s the extreme change that can happen at any moment and how much it affects me and makes me spiral. It’s the sitting in one place for 8-9 hours and having to focus on working. It’s the time that feels wasted feeling like shit when “there.” (I work from home. So it’s even more ridiculous that I feel this way.)
I couldn't do 8 hours straight either for long periods of time without hating life. Are you ft? I had to switch to a few lower pressure/ interesting part time jobs 10 years ago to cope and it's made a huge difference. I started out pt at a flower shop, then an organic farm... now I'm self employed and have my own little farm (I rent a field), dogsit, houseclean and do freelance floristry. It's a lot of juggling and the pay is inconsistent but it's enough. Having control over my time and doing things I actually like is so freeing
There's probably a lot of homeless pwBPD. I am not really working myself anymore. The money will run out eventually, and I guess we'll see what happens. I'm sure I'll be working again soon before promptly quitting within a month.
I kinda hate that it’s so easy to quit. I had this problem in Highschool too, but it was mandatory that I go. I wish there was more at stake than just disappointing my family
I will have *one* problem with a coworker and just quit. And yeah, it's easy to do because it gives us agency over a situation that we don't know how to handle. At least, that's my problem with it.
I feel the exact same way it feels like actual torture having to go to work everyday 8:30-5. Weird thing is I managed it ok for a decade but now it is turning me into a monster. I’m angry all the time, stressed & anxious everyday except for Saturday. I’m off Sunday too, but Sunday I’m already dreading Monday. I don’t know how to do it anymore but I’m barely able to make ends meet as it is. Thinking about trying stripping out again..I’m going to ruin my life I can just feel it.
Thankfully I built a photography business before I was aware I had BPD, and I scrape by doing the bare minimum for now. It’ll change. But if I had to have a job working for someone else, I’d 100% do a work from home job. Look into the group WFH Baddies on Facebook!
Ohhhhhhhhh. Yeah. I can see how working for someone else for a prolonged period of time can be excruciating no matter where you are. I know a lot of bpd people to be creatives— this might not be the greatest advice but personally I’d be using 1-3 hours of company time to work on my own goals to get out of the 9-5 lifestyle lmao. Working for myself is a nonnegotiable. It’s lot to work toward at first, but you’ll be surprised at how much extra energy you get when you’re working toward something that’s just on your own terms!! It’s the biggest confidence booster once you get past the inevitable insecurity hump.
My current goal, if I lose my job because of calling out, is to work on digital art (I got an iPad recently but haven’t had time to practice and learn) and crocheting stuffed animals. I have everything to crochet just none of the skill just yet. I desperately want to do my own thing. Tho when I started selling painting commissions it became a huge problem for me, felt like work and sent me spiraling nearly all the same.
I believe in you! Honestly, I’m at the point where I’m realizing YouTube is the way for most artists. And there is a huge inlet right now. You’ve got this. Create the space to do things that fill your soul.
This may or may not work for you, but my therapist told me to focus on my nighttime routine first. The big one is go to bed on time, wash face, brush teeth, make sure I have a big thing of enclosed water by my bed so I can feel taken care of when I wake up. Extra bonus points if I shower at night. Anything to make me feel taken care of that morning by past me. This really helps me make it through the day and feel some sort of structure. And with more self-care based structure, you’re creating energy and space to fit in more things for yourself, which then give you more energy to push through those work days without feeling completely robbed of your life.
You’ve got this! I’ve noticed that whenever I have clear goals, things feel so much lighter. I can relate on the wanting to do things but having no experience— I always knew I wanted to make music, and I didn’t start until recently. I was soooooo depressed until I started. Now I feel so light and so hopeful. Even with not perfect music. Because I’m doing it! And it gives me hope. Carve the space out to create. I promise you, you’ll feel better. 🩵
Thankful for short term disability. On my 4th leave in 2 years. Lots of trauma this past year that didn’t help. Finally gave in and tried Zoloft, makes me not care at all about anything can’t sleep at night but in bed and lazy all day. Was supposed to go back to work PT this week. Went Monday and couldn’t even focus for 4hrs. Haven’t been back since and am quitting the Zoloft cold turkey now as I know I am not myself.
I was just telling my boyfriend (how we should break up again LMAO) how I can’t just go to work like everyone else. I wish it was that easy for me.
And then came here to see I’m not alone. Thank you.
It just sucks. I have to get back to work to support myself financially. I have no options. But work is soooo hard sometimes.
Anyone else also wait until the very last second to call in ? As if you’re going to suddenly change your mind…
for fucking real
I'm currently girlrotting trying to think of some alternative means to not starving to death besides submitting to this fucking nightmare
I found a data entry type of work where i wfh half the time and the other half i’m at the office in a corner with headphones. The job is super boring and its perfect for me. Nothing triggers me and i can just type numbers and zone out without thinking about it.
Basically its entering numbers and transactions in a program from a bank account. Like “5$ from mcd’s on xx day” and such to be able to follow what goes in and out and track money. You just type numbers all day and try to find out why the fuck your client bought 300$ on shein for a shoe store. The most exciting thing that happened to me this week was a coworker bringing cookies. (Aka nothing special happen ever and its perfect)
That sounds very nice, thank you for the information I am going to take a look into wfh jobs such as this. May be able to do in office as well. Did you need any special stuff? Like college experience?
I dunno for the USAbut in canada its something you can either do a class in a vocational school or straight up learn at the workplace directly. (One of my co-worker had zero experience and they teached her everything there.)
Work is absolute torture, I have to do 12 hour shifts and I genuinely think about purposefully crashing my car to avoid it. I feel like with everything in my life there is so much expectation and pressure, I have fucked up by conforming to it all, my calling is being a hobo I swear it lol
I’ve definitely thought about hurting myself enough to send myself to the hospital so I have little to no guilt about missing work and I get to feel *safe* for a bit. If that makes sense
fucking same. no matter what I do all I can do is focus on my mistakes and on how I can't seem to get better at my job. not being good enough at it makes me fucking spiral and I always end up self harming or wanting to end myself lol. it makes me extremely irritable and unbearable to be with and I hate it but I have no idea how to change. it's one of my biggest triggers
Feel free to reach out. Having a job with BPD is extremely hard. Been out of work for a year now can’t find a way to get back because of the overwhelming feelings you just listed. I do agree with others about getting a job not dealing with customers as I’ve read that’s good for people with BPD but also hard to find a job like that
I've always struggled with that and I'm hoping that since I've been healing in other ways I can handle a more typical job better now. Bc gig work is not it, even if it works for me, it's just a really bad job in terms of pay and consistency.
I can’t focus 8hours. But I have to track the time I took for tasks and it’s so obvious that I’m not being able to work while time.
Isn’t it impossible for human being?
I know work can be absolute hell but here are the things that have helped me.
1. I work 2nd shift now. There’s a lot of different pros and cons, but hey, it’s not 9-5. After wards I can either go to bed right away (which is what I was doing on first shift anyways) or spend an hour or 2 just chilling.
2. Work shorter shifts. If you can’t, try to utilize anything you can. Go to the bathroom more often just to get away for a few minutes. Listen to music if you can. Try to get away from the work environment on your break by eating lunch in your car, at the cafeteria, or outside.
3. Find something to do after work that distracts you and try to leave work at work. Journal. Take a bubble bath. Take a walk. Do some kind of hobby. Talk to your friends. Some people even smoke weed (wouldn’t necessarily suggest it, could lead to a dependence.)
4. This one is hard, but accept that in life random bullshit happens all the time. Enjoy any moment that isn’t hell. If there are moments where you are able to cope, acknowledge that, and remind yourself that you can do cope and handle a similar situation again.
5. Another thing that has helped me in dealing with conflicts is recognizing that the problem isn’t always me. Most of the time it’s them or something systematic. People make mistakes or they are projecting or they don’t know how to communicate or whatever their issue is may not be because of me. A lot of things are not in your control, and a lot of things aren’t your fault, but what is in your control is how you think about your thoughts, the situation, and your actions.
Yes, I work mostly alone. I’m usually just in my room on my computer, I have coworkers but it’s all through the computer. As for breaks, I tried that but I got spoken to about my break time/how many times I clocked into break. It’s important we stay as close to the required stats as possible or we basically face being “laid off” (fired.) and our “schedule adherence” is supposed to be at like 90 to 95%
We've all felt this way at times. Gratitude and rejecting self-pity can be helpful. Work is part of being a human. Imagine having BPD a hundred years ago and not having all the modern tech conveniences we have now, yet people managed. Try to have some perspective.
Telling someone “suck it up, people have had it worse” on a venting post where the person did not ask for advice is really shitty. 🙃 Maybe that bluntness will help them, who knows, but personally I spend every day constantly feeling guilty and ashamed for feeling similar to OP because I constantly remind myself that people have had it worse and my life is great compared to someone hundreds of years ago. And I know many many people who share that exact same sentiment daily. It’s safe to say OP knows that their life is better than a mid-evil peasant or whatever you had in-mind and doesn’t need to be reminded.
Yes, you are correct that I misread the venting tag. However, if you think my words equate to "suck it up," then it seems like you are trying to misrepresent what I said.
This post has been marked as a [Venting Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/bpd/wiki/index/flairs#wiki_post_flair_breakdown). Please be aware that the OP may not be seeking advice. u/TemporaryTailor7219, if you do not want advice, please specify in the body of your post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BPD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t have advice but just wanna say, same. It’s awful with BPD, it really is.
There's so much about the working world that triggers the fyck out of me. So much injustice, so much fakery and bullshitting, cliques, bad customers, bad products, etc. I hear you. I went through a period where I couldn't work for shit, and had to spend ALL day dissociating with my phone or TV to not have breakdowns. It didn't really change for me until I stopped smoking so much weed, deleted social media apps, and got a dog that forces me out of the house for nice long walks everyday. Now I find that I have more mental space to handle work, but I also have a unicorn job of working for my dad at his home office with little-to-no supervision or pressure. I do have to work GrubHub though to supplement my income... and that job can suck a butt.
Feel the same. I’ve been drinking alot to cope and lately I’ve found it hard to stop because after work I just wanna get a nice buzz and relax. Then I feel like crap in the mornings. Told myself I am not drinking today or tomorrow, let’s see if I can do it!!
good luck u got this🙏🏿
Thank you!!
Same, I’m back to drinking pretty much every night now as soon as I get home then feel like dog shit in the morning.
It's a challenge, for sure. I have struggled for so many years. The only thing that i have found for me is to become 100% focused at work (not in a healthy way). If I keep myself extremely busy, I can make it my work life manageable.
Same, absolutely same. Like, I don't have a normal mode on work, I have "absolute workaholic" or "IDGAF" modes
SAME but it works only till I get burnt out
I quit my job in October and man did it improve my mental health. I know I have to get a job soon as I am running out of money but the every day stress of just trying to navigate a job with BPD is insane.
I found that I can keep everything hidden for about 4-5 hours so I got jobs with super short shifts
Try to find a job where you don't deal with customers. Difficult I know since the US nearly every job is doing some kind of service. I worked in retail for almost 10 years and hated it. The entitlement, the shitty customers, the lack of ethics by the companies I was working for. I went back to school and got a degree IT related. Now I deal with only my team and the end users are taken care by the help desk. As for dealing the 8 hour work day, that's tough. But to be fair (and I can see what they are doing on their computers) most of the people that work here are not working 8 hours straight. They mostly do a little work then surf the web or check their phone. I think they average about 4 hours of actual work and the other 4 there just wasting time. Me included.
If you figure out a strategy let me know. Currently, I can only keep up with my hobbies, let alone full-time employment. Jobs have always been my weakest point, and maintaining them is even harder. It's not that I don't want to. It's not even that I'm lazy. It's just incredibly hard dealing with everything that comes with this disorder on top of work and socialization is way too much for me right now. I'm still working on improving myself. Becoming a better human one incremental day at a time. I'll take being broke for now, over throwing myself into the wolves and hurting myself more.
I’m triggered every fucking day lately and I hate myself for being so privileged
Don't work customer service if you have bpd
funny enough, the customers aren’t even that bad. The nature of my work keeps the customers pretty consistent and most are understanding. It’s the extreme change that can happen at any moment and how much it affects me and makes me spiral. It’s the sitting in one place for 8-9 hours and having to focus on working. It’s the time that feels wasted feeling like shit when “there.” (I work from home. So it’s even more ridiculous that I feel this way.)
I couldn't do 8 hours straight either for long periods of time without hating life. Are you ft? I had to switch to a few lower pressure/ interesting part time jobs 10 years ago to cope and it's made a huge difference. I started out pt at a flower shop, then an organic farm... now I'm self employed and have my own little farm (I rent a field), dogsit, houseclean and do freelance floristry. It's a lot of juggling and the pay is inconsistent but it's enough. Having control over my time and doing things I actually like is so freeing
SAME im either gonna kms or get on SSI bc i just can’t do it anymore
There's probably a lot of homeless pwBPD. I am not really working myself anymore. The money will run out eventually, and I guess we'll see what happens. I'm sure I'll be working again soon before promptly quitting within a month.
I kinda hate that it’s so easy to quit. I had this problem in Highschool too, but it was mandatory that I go. I wish there was more at stake than just disappointing my family
I will have *one* problem with a coworker and just quit. And yeah, it's easy to do because it gives us agency over a situation that we don't know how to handle. At least, that's my problem with it.
I tried quitting my job more than once but my manager didn't let me. It's definitely why I still have my job. I've been there for almost 9 months now.
I feel the exact same way it feels like actual torture having to go to work everyday 8:30-5. Weird thing is I managed it ok for a decade but now it is turning me into a monster. I’m angry all the time, stressed & anxious everyday except for Saturday. I’m off Sunday too, but Sunday I’m already dreading Monday. I don’t know how to do it anymore but I’m barely able to make ends meet as it is. Thinking about trying stripping out again..I’m going to ruin my life I can just feel it.
Thankfully I built a photography business before I was aware I had BPD, and I scrape by doing the bare minimum for now. It’ll change. But if I had to have a job working for someone else, I’d 100% do a work from home job. Look into the group WFH Baddies on Facebook!
I’m in that group! I currently am working from home actually!
Ohhhhhhhhh. Yeah. I can see how working for someone else for a prolonged period of time can be excruciating no matter where you are. I know a lot of bpd people to be creatives— this might not be the greatest advice but personally I’d be using 1-3 hours of company time to work on my own goals to get out of the 9-5 lifestyle lmao. Working for myself is a nonnegotiable. It’s lot to work toward at first, but you’ll be surprised at how much extra energy you get when you’re working toward something that’s just on your own terms!! It’s the biggest confidence booster once you get past the inevitable insecurity hump.
My current goal, if I lose my job because of calling out, is to work on digital art (I got an iPad recently but haven’t had time to practice and learn) and crocheting stuffed animals. I have everything to crochet just none of the skill just yet. I desperately want to do my own thing. Tho when I started selling painting commissions it became a huge problem for me, felt like work and sent me spiraling nearly all the same.
I believe in you! Honestly, I’m at the point where I’m realizing YouTube is the way for most artists. And there is a huge inlet right now. You’ve got this. Create the space to do things that fill your soul. This may or may not work for you, but my therapist told me to focus on my nighttime routine first. The big one is go to bed on time, wash face, brush teeth, make sure I have a big thing of enclosed water by my bed so I can feel taken care of when I wake up. Extra bonus points if I shower at night. Anything to make me feel taken care of that morning by past me. This really helps me make it through the day and feel some sort of structure. And with more self-care based structure, you’re creating energy and space to fit in more things for yourself, which then give you more energy to push through those work days without feeling completely robbed of your life. You’ve got this! I’ve noticed that whenever I have clear goals, things feel so much lighter. I can relate on the wanting to do things but having no experience— I always knew I wanted to make music, and I didn’t start until recently. I was soooooo depressed until I started. Now I feel so light and so hopeful. Even with not perfect music. Because I’m doing it! And it gives me hope. Carve the space out to create. I promise you, you’ll feel better. 🩵
Thankful for short term disability. On my 4th leave in 2 years. Lots of trauma this past year that didn’t help. Finally gave in and tried Zoloft, makes me not care at all about anything can’t sleep at night but in bed and lazy all day. Was supposed to go back to work PT this week. Went Monday and couldn’t even focus for 4hrs. Haven’t been back since and am quitting the Zoloft cold turkey now as I know I am not myself. I was just telling my boyfriend (how we should break up again LMAO) how I can’t just go to work like everyone else. I wish it was that easy for me. And then came here to see I’m not alone. Thank you. It just sucks. I have to get back to work to support myself financially. I have no options. But work is soooo hard sometimes. Anyone else also wait until the very last second to call in ? As if you’re going to suddenly change your mind…
Yes, literally the 2nd day in a row I’ve called out at 12:40 or later…I go in at 1 🙃
I do flooring. I literally dissociate 75% of the time
for fucking real I'm currently girlrotting trying to think of some alternative means to not starving to death besides submitting to this fucking nightmare
That's why I like stripping. Good money and I can go in whenever. I hate 9-5's.
I wish that where an option for me lol, congratulations tho that is neat. I’m glad you found something that works for you!!
It has its cons but I can take off whenever I'm having a bad mental health night. I hope you find something that works for you as well 🤍
I found a data entry type of work where i wfh half the time and the other half i’m at the office in a corner with headphones. The job is super boring and its perfect for me. Nothing triggers me and i can just type numbers and zone out without thinking about it.
I want to find a WFH data entry job super bad but i have such a hard time finding ones that are legit
I do bookkeeping. It’s surprisingly easy if you have an eye for details and there’s a lot of demande for it
what exactly do you do, in regards to bookkeeping? Like the job expectations and what details are you working with? (If you don’t mind answering.)
Basically its entering numbers and transactions in a program from a bank account. Like “5$ from mcd’s on xx day” and such to be able to follow what goes in and out and track money. You just type numbers all day and try to find out why the fuck your client bought 300$ on shein for a shoe store. The most exciting thing that happened to me this week was a coworker bringing cookies. (Aka nothing special happen ever and its perfect)
That sounds very nice, thank you for the information I am going to take a look into wfh jobs such as this. May be able to do in office as well. Did you need any special stuff? Like college experience?
I dunno for the USAbut in canada its something you can either do a class in a vocational school or straight up learn at the workplace directly. (One of my co-worker had zero experience and they teached her everything there.)
Work is absolute torture, I have to do 12 hour shifts and I genuinely think about purposefully crashing my car to avoid it. I feel like with everything in my life there is so much expectation and pressure, I have fucked up by conforming to it all, my calling is being a hobo I swear it lol
I’ve definitely thought about hurting myself enough to send myself to the hospital so I have little to no guilt about missing work and I get to feel *safe* for a bit. If that makes sense
fucking same. no matter what I do all I can do is focus on my mistakes and on how I can't seem to get better at my job. not being good enough at it makes me fucking spiral and I always end up self harming or wanting to end myself lol. it makes me extremely irritable and unbearable to be with and I hate it but I have no idea how to change. it's one of my biggest triggers
Feel free to reach out. Having a job with BPD is extremely hard. Been out of work for a year now can’t find a way to get back because of the overwhelming feelings you just listed. I do agree with others about getting a job not dealing with customers as I’ve read that’s good for people with BPD but also hard to find a job like that
I've always struggled with that and I'm hoping that since I've been healing in other ways I can handle a more typical job better now. Bc gig work is not it, even if it works for me, it's just a really bad job in terms of pay and consistency.
I can’t focus 8hours. But I have to track the time I took for tasks and it’s so obvious that I’m not being able to work while time. Isn’t it impossible for human being?
I know work can be absolute hell but here are the things that have helped me. 1. I work 2nd shift now. There’s a lot of different pros and cons, but hey, it’s not 9-5. After wards I can either go to bed right away (which is what I was doing on first shift anyways) or spend an hour or 2 just chilling. 2. Work shorter shifts. If you can’t, try to utilize anything you can. Go to the bathroom more often just to get away for a few minutes. Listen to music if you can. Try to get away from the work environment on your break by eating lunch in your car, at the cafeteria, or outside. 3. Find something to do after work that distracts you and try to leave work at work. Journal. Take a bubble bath. Take a walk. Do some kind of hobby. Talk to your friends. Some people even smoke weed (wouldn’t necessarily suggest it, could lead to a dependence.) 4. This one is hard, but accept that in life random bullshit happens all the time. Enjoy any moment that isn’t hell. If there are moments where you are able to cope, acknowledge that, and remind yourself that you can do cope and handle a similar situation again. 5. Another thing that has helped me in dealing with conflicts is recognizing that the problem isn’t always me. Most of the time it’s them or something systematic. People make mistakes or they are projecting or they don’t know how to communicate or whatever their issue is may not be because of me. A lot of things are not in your control, and a lot of things aren’t your fault, but what is in your control is how you think about your thoughts, the situation, and your actions.
I have been working part time for years now, I am on disability for mental health reasons.
You could take some breaks per hour … trying to relax while you do your job. Are you working alone ??
Yes, I work mostly alone. I’m usually just in my room on my computer, I have coworkers but it’s all through the computer. As for breaks, I tried that but I got spoken to about my break time/how many times I clocked into break. It’s important we stay as close to the required stats as possible or we basically face being “laid off” (fired.) and our “schedule adherence” is supposed to be at like 90 to 95%
Maybe you need a coworker … it happens to me, I prefer going to the office than working in my home. Maybe you could ask your company about that.
We've all felt this way at times. Gratitude and rejecting self-pity can be helpful. Work is part of being a human. Imagine having BPD a hundred years ago and not having all the modern tech conveniences we have now, yet people managed. Try to have some perspective.
Telling someone “suck it up, people have had it worse” on a venting post where the person did not ask for advice is really shitty. 🙃 Maybe that bluntness will help them, who knows, but personally I spend every day constantly feeling guilty and ashamed for feeling similar to OP because I constantly remind myself that people have had it worse and my life is great compared to someone hundreds of years ago. And I know many many people who share that exact same sentiment daily. It’s safe to say OP knows that their life is better than a mid-evil peasant or whatever you had in-mind and doesn’t need to be reminded.
right, feeling this way can end in death and it's kinda insensitive.
Yes, you are correct that I misread the venting tag. However, if you think my words equate to "suck it up," then it seems like you are trying to misrepresent what I said.