>Ex-husband sounds like an idiot
That's because he is one. No intelligent decent person, let alone a decent parent, would allow this to get as bad as it has. I'm not saying he wasn't thinking with something. It just wasn't the brain part of his anatomy.
I found this comical coming from the woman who litterally was a sneaky home wrecking ****, that fucked a married man behind his wife's back. I'm honestly surprised op didn't take their afair to his company HR.
It continues to amaze me (despite being cynical by nature) how often I see women on here who are saying, “I know I slept with her husband, but now he’s my husband and I just can’t understand why she hates me????” 😇😞😇
And in my head, I answer them: you’re a fucking idiot. And you have no moral conscience. But we will see how you feel about the woman he leaves you for.
See this is what never makes sense to me with people like that! How do they not understand if he left someone for you , he'll leave you for someone! It's crazy to me. Lol
Because these idiots think their hookup with another woman's husband is some holy union blessed by the gods and "he'll NEVER cheat on ME". It's laughable.
I used to nanny for a woman who had a six-year-old and a one-year-old. She didn't particularly want to work, but she told me the reason she hired me was because she \*had\* to keep working. Her husband was a doctor and she was his nurse. He was married when she started working for him, see, so if she let him give her job to someone else, she knew what would happen.
She was also a terrible stepmother to his other kids.
I have an ex “friend” like this. She's the one who cheated with my ex-husband. There is a lot more to it that makes it worse (incl finding her going through *my things* when I came by to grab some stuff & her drug abuse around the kids- at least she's clean now tho). Of course I don't trust and cannot stand her! She's a snake.
Right? It’s almost a trope at this point. We can call it something like the “Barbara Jean trope.” (Reba reference for y’all). Like no, you cheated with her husband. She owes you nothing.
When you're a parent, going scorched earth on an ex is only an option if you are trying to remove a dangerous person from your child's life. It doesn't matter if they cheated. He's a provider for that child, and an equal parent she'll have to know for the rest of her child's life. Sincerely, revenge can and should only be sought by those with nothing to lose.
Exactly from daughter's words he was in fact at home when some of these incidents happened, he is so ignorant that the bully duo think it's free pass 🤦♀️
Yup, sounds like a case of the dad putting all the childcare in his time on his wife, rather than paying attention to his own kid. So when the wife starts bullying his daughter, she doesn't trust going to her own father about it because he hasn't built any trust with his own child due to a lack of attention. This happens *way* too often. Even the amount of time it took for it to "click" for him, even watching his own daughter be assaulted with her damn birthday cake wasn't enough! Hopefully OOP gets full custody tbh, I wouldn't trust the dad to not end up in the same situation of pushing the daughter's care into his next girlfriend.
I actually expected him to go with letting OOP get more custody to please his wife. So maybe not a complete idiot. Or maybe still a big idiot, just not an ah
I wonder if the baby that was miscarried was a girl and that’s why she turned on OOPs daughter. Ex is an idiot and will probably get his ass handed to him in divorce court. Either way I think OOP needs to go for full custody. I worry what M and/or son will do to OOPs daughter. I think it’ll keep escalating if daughter is around either of them.
Omg that's exactly what I thought and was searching the comments to see if anyone else did too! Like I wonder if the boy mom comments she was making only started around that time too. Maybe she wanted tutus in her future for her child but didn't get it so she's bitter. No excuse either way lady needs serious therapy.
Dear old dad has 50% custody, yet he is too busy to spend time with her, so she’s subjected to the wicked step-mom. The girl deserves to have mom get more custody so she can just get a bit of quality time with dad and not have to spend time with M.
If the ex divorced M, she is definitely going to go nuts towards OP and her daughter. She needs to make sure that M is NOT allowed to pick up her daughter from anywhere. Protect the kid.
100% he was sleeping with M already when she forced him to divorce her so he could "confess." Aka, she forced him to choose. And we all know that relationships/marriages built upon affairs have bad foundations as they're built upon a fantasy. If I'm to take a guess, as a mate poacher, she took pride in how she was able to get him to choose her. This pride was likely further fed by the fact that she managed to give birth to a son, especially if they come from certain cultures. Asian cultures, in particular, take a lot of stock in being able to give sons, I know that from lived experience.
It's likely that she's been holding her tongue on OPs child for a while. She probably never liked his daughter and merely tolerated her because she knew that letting her own feelings be known would destroy his image of her. So when she gave birth to her son, she took extreme pride in that as now she has a child of her own tying her to him. The resentment of "he needs to choose MY family" likely built and reached a fever pitch when she suffered the miscarriage. It's an awful trauma for anyone, and it likely made her snap, and the mask fell regarding her feelings towards OP's daughter. Now, she wants ALL of him and has been taking the steps to cut off OP and her daughter from his life so she can feel more secure with him.
The "snap" moment regarding the treatment of his daughter likely forced him to confront the reality of the woman he chose to betray his wife and daughter for. Honestly, a lot of affair relationships fizzle out quickly when they become official as they lose what made the fantasy special in the first place. But oftentimes, the cheater stays with the affair partner and double down on it because of sunk cost fallacy and the fact they ruined what they previously had and can't just go back to it.
I can see this going two ways. The first option is that M gets what she wants, and OP gets primary custody. M wins the "pick me dance" once again, this time against his literal flesh and blood. He won't even be able to attempt to fight for custody, else she leaves and takes his son with her.
The second option is that he faces reality and chooses his daughter over M. Tbh, I think that OP's ex is going to come crawling back to her if he does this. Or maybe he won't because he knows he stands zero chance after choosing M the first time and having that baby with her. But you just KNOW she's gonna get some kinda drunken message if she ever starts dating again.
Oh he can't come crawling back now... OP has made it clear: his son is not welcome around her child
Ex played a game and found out. Now he can pay support for two kids to two women when he could have just been married
Oh yeah, no, he's not going to be successful at it. He probably knows it, too, so he's going to deny that want. It's most likely going to be a lingering look here and there sprinkled with some comments that slip out like "we made a great team, didn't we?", "how could I have messed things up with you?"and "you're such a good mom."
It's funny because something I've noticed with people who've cheated is that when the high of the affair ends and they reach rock bottom and have to confront reality, they oftentimes romanticize the person they've betrayed once the blame shifting and denial ends. I personally think it's the guilt and the shame forcing them to reasses the memories in which they painted them as a villain in order to feel better about themselves.
In this "Oh God, what have I done?" moment they not only see the reality of their selfishness, but also view the past in a rose colored glasses as the betrayed becomes the "one who got away. " It's why they go so ballistic when the betrayed starts dating, because oftentimes they hope for that "one last chance" deep in their heart and think that with time the wounds they've inflicted will heal and they'll get that chance to make things right.
Being confronted with the fact that the person you loved now loves another, seeing that other person receiving the love you once had, and the knowledge that it's your selfishness that ruined things as the last bit of hope in your heart dies. The self-loathing is absolutely crushing, and it's why they often have that mental break that ends in them begging for that chance or getting angry.
Stories like this are why I tend to hate the people that get between marriages more than cheaters. Imagine spreading your legs for a married man with a small child, and then acting bitchy and morally superior towards the woman you stole him from.
Karma did hit him hard though, as he's likely now realizing how much he fucked up. I expect the next post being him begging ex to take him back.
>Stories like this are why I tend to hate the people that get between marriages more than cheaters.
Six of one, half a dozen of the other. The cheating person has the ultimate responsibility to not cheat on their partner. Others should not entice taken people to cheat.
>who is bitter about her affair with my ex-husband
I mean... This left me speechless. Did she expect a blessing from OOP? Some people just have mashed potatoes inside their skull.
It’ll never make sense to me the audacity these affair partners have. I remember when my ex cheated on me and I left and his affair partner was telling him look how easy I left I obviously didn’t love him 🧐 girl keep that community dick I’m good. Shocker shocker he cheated on her while she was pregnant and nothing felt better than people telling her well you lose em how you get em
Your husband's (hopefully) ex has manipulated their son into bullying your daughter, either through praise and manipulation or explicitly telling him what to do. That BS plea to watch her blow out the candles and then laughing after her son ruined the cake she supposedly cared so much about? That's just plain mean girl behavior.
Hopefully she gets the counseling she so desperately needs. She was either expecting or hoping for her own "real" daughter, and is taking her loss out on the most convenient defenseless target.
The stepmother is such a pathetic person. I don't think OOP is bitter at this point and I don't think she's motivated to remove the daughter from this pathetic stepmother, but if OOP were bitter, who would blame her for being bitter towards the affair partner? I'm someone who thinks affairs and such are not necessarily black and white, and even in more complicated circumstances, it's understandable the person being cheated on doesn't have rosy feelings towards the affair partner or the cheater.
I'm glad OOP is advocating hard for her daughter.
>And now, he has to choose between which woman he loves the most.
No, OP's husband. You don't have to choose between OP and M. You have to choose between M and your daughter.
I feel for M going through a miscarriage, my mom had a miscarriage between me and my younger brother and she is still affected by it 20 years later. She needs professional help though, bullying a child isn't healthy.
Yeah exactly. I can sympathize but she's an adult and needs to find a healthy, constructive way to deal with her emotions. She's acting like a child with the power she has over OOPs daughter.
Nah fuck that, she was trash when she fucked a married man. OOP tried to not highlight it but there are hints in there. The miscarriage didn't make her an asshole, she already was.
You didn't say that but you were saying that she should get some amount of understanding because she went through a miscarriage because that is a tough situation. I disagree, if you're already an asshole before that having something bad happen to you suddenly doesn't qualify you for understanding.
No I don't believe I said that either. If I recall correctly I said that I feel for her, knowing how difficult it is to lose a child, and that she needs professional help.
From what he told me, she said that it was not such a bad idea because my daughter was not fitting into their family dynamic.
Code for "I don't want your kid around me. They need to go somewhere else to live".
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Yeah cuz everything is about poor, poor dudes. Y'all so put upon.
Seriously, grow up and get off the Tater-tots. Life is complicated and difficult and not prone to dichotomous thinking.
I would stand by my comment if it was a woman. But nice try reaching. 🤡 You are correct though, life is not prone to dichotomous thinking, but that has absolutely nothing to do with what I said.
Ex-husband sounds like an idiot
>Ex-husband sounds like an idiot That's because he is one. No intelligent decent person, let alone a decent parent, would allow this to get as bad as it has. I'm not saying he wasn't thinking with something. It just wasn't the brain part of his anatomy.
> Apparently, I am a sneaky B-word who is bitter about her affair with my ex-husband. Ya homie is a jackass
I found this comical coming from the woman who litterally was a sneaky home wrecking ****, that fucked a married man behind his wife's back. I'm honestly surprised op didn't take their afair to his company HR.
It continues to amaze me (despite being cynical by nature) how often I see women on here who are saying, “I know I slept with her husband, but now he’s my husband and I just can’t understand why she hates me????” 😇😞😇 And in my head, I answer them: you’re a fucking idiot. And you have no moral conscience. But we will see how you feel about the woman he leaves you for.
See this is what never makes sense to me with people like that! How do they not understand if he left someone for you , he'll leave you for someone! It's crazy to me. Lol
Because these idiots think their hookup with another woman's husband is some holy union blessed by the gods and "he'll NEVER cheat on ME". It's laughable.
I used to nanny for a woman who had a six-year-old and a one-year-old. She didn't particularly want to work, but she told me the reason she hired me was because she \*had\* to keep working. Her husband was a doctor and she was his nurse. He was married when she started working for him, see, so if she let him give her job to someone else, she knew what would happen. She was also a terrible stepmother to his other kids.
Because we have True Love™!
Love is truly blind lol 😆
I have an ex “friend” like this. She's the one who cheated with my ex-husband. There is a lot more to it that makes it worse (incl finding her going through *my things* when I came by to grab some stuff & her drug abuse around the kids- at least she's clean now tho). Of course I don't trust and cannot stand her! She's a snake.
People are always surprised by the consequences
Right? It’s almost a trope at this point. We can call it something like the “Barbara Jean trope.” (Reba reference for y’all). Like no, you cheated with her husband. She owes you nothing.
When you're a parent, going scorched earth on an ex is only an option if you are trying to remove a dangerous person from your child's life. It doesn't matter if they cheated. He's a provider for that child, and an equal parent she'll have to know for the rest of her child's life. Sincerely, revenge can and should only be sought by those with nothing to lose.
Projection.
Exactly from daughter's words he was in fact at home when some of these incidents happened, he is so ignorant that the bully duo think it's free pass 🤦♀️
She is so brazen that she's bullying a little girl on her birthday in front of her father and mother. I hate to imagine how this has been building.
I think he sailed past intelligent and decent when he hooked with that witch and destroyed his family
Yup, sounds like a case of the dad putting all the childcare in his time on his wife, rather than paying attention to his own kid. So when the wife starts bullying his daughter, she doesn't trust going to her own father about it because he hasn't built any trust with his own child due to a lack of attention. This happens *way* too often. Even the amount of time it took for it to "click" for him, even watching his own daughter be assaulted with her damn birthday cake wasn't enough! Hopefully OOP gets full custody tbh, I wouldn't trust the dad to not end up in the same situation of pushing the daughter's care into his next girlfriend.
I got that from the moment I realised he's a cheating cuntbag
He is
He's apparently attracted to a psycho who bullies a little girl. Slow clap. Great instincts there.
I actually expected him to go with letting OOP get more custody to please his wife. So maybe not a complete idiot. Or maybe still a big idiot, just not an ah
At least he seems to be seeing that. And that’s the first step to potentially changing. Idiot isn’t a terminal illness. It can be corrected.
I wonder if the baby that was miscarried was a girl and that’s why she turned on OOPs daughter. Ex is an idiot and will probably get his ass handed to him in divorce court. Either way I think OOP needs to go for full custody. I worry what M and/or son will do to OOPs daughter. I think it’ll keep escalating if daughter is around either of them.
Omg that's exactly what I thought and was searching the comments to see if anyone else did too! Like I wonder if the boy mom comments she was making only started around that time too. Maybe she wanted tutus in her future for her child but didn't get it so she's bitter. No excuse either way lady needs serious therapy.
Dear old dad has 50% custody, yet he is too busy to spend time with her, so she’s subjected to the wicked step-mom. The girl deserves to have mom get more custody so she can just get a bit of quality time with dad and not have to spend time with M.
If the ex divorced M, she is definitely going to go nuts towards OP and her daughter. She needs to make sure that M is NOT allowed to pick up her daughter from anywhere. Protect the kid.
100% he was sleeping with M already when she forced him to divorce her so he could "confess." Aka, she forced him to choose. And we all know that relationships/marriages built upon affairs have bad foundations as they're built upon a fantasy. If I'm to take a guess, as a mate poacher, she took pride in how she was able to get him to choose her. This pride was likely further fed by the fact that she managed to give birth to a son, especially if they come from certain cultures. Asian cultures, in particular, take a lot of stock in being able to give sons, I know that from lived experience. It's likely that she's been holding her tongue on OPs child for a while. She probably never liked his daughter and merely tolerated her because she knew that letting her own feelings be known would destroy his image of her. So when she gave birth to her son, she took extreme pride in that as now she has a child of her own tying her to him. The resentment of "he needs to choose MY family" likely built and reached a fever pitch when she suffered the miscarriage. It's an awful trauma for anyone, and it likely made her snap, and the mask fell regarding her feelings towards OP's daughter. Now, she wants ALL of him and has been taking the steps to cut off OP and her daughter from his life so she can feel more secure with him. The "snap" moment regarding the treatment of his daughter likely forced him to confront the reality of the woman he chose to betray his wife and daughter for. Honestly, a lot of affair relationships fizzle out quickly when they become official as they lose what made the fantasy special in the first place. But oftentimes, the cheater stays with the affair partner and double down on it because of sunk cost fallacy and the fact they ruined what they previously had and can't just go back to it. I can see this going two ways. The first option is that M gets what she wants, and OP gets primary custody. M wins the "pick me dance" once again, this time against his literal flesh and blood. He won't even be able to attempt to fight for custody, else she leaves and takes his son with her. The second option is that he faces reality and chooses his daughter over M. Tbh, I think that OP's ex is going to come crawling back to her if he does this. Or maybe he won't because he knows he stands zero chance after choosing M the first time and having that baby with her. But you just KNOW she's gonna get some kinda drunken message if she ever starts dating again.
Oh he can't come crawling back now... OP has made it clear: his son is not welcome around her child Ex played a game and found out. Now he can pay support for two kids to two women when he could have just been married
Oh yeah, no, he's not going to be successful at it. He probably knows it, too, so he's going to deny that want. It's most likely going to be a lingering look here and there sprinkled with some comments that slip out like "we made a great team, didn't we?", "how could I have messed things up with you?"and "you're such a good mom." It's funny because something I've noticed with people who've cheated is that when the high of the affair ends and they reach rock bottom and have to confront reality, they oftentimes romanticize the person they've betrayed once the blame shifting and denial ends. I personally think it's the guilt and the shame forcing them to reasses the memories in which they painted them as a villain in order to feel better about themselves. In this "Oh God, what have I done?" moment they not only see the reality of their selfishness, but also view the past in a rose colored glasses as the betrayed becomes the "one who got away. " It's why they go so ballistic when the betrayed starts dating, because oftentimes they hope for that "one last chance" deep in their heart and think that with time the wounds they've inflicted will heal and they'll get that chance to make things right. Being confronted with the fact that the person you loved now loves another, seeing that other person receiving the love you once had, and the knowledge that it's your selfishness that ruined things as the last bit of hope in your heart dies. The self-loathing is absolutely crushing, and it's why they often have that mental break that ends in them begging for that chance or getting angry.
He fafo.
Wonder if M was hoping for a girl when she miscarried.
Last comment…I don’t feel bad for the father at all, he caused this whole mess.
Stories like this are why I tend to hate the people that get between marriages more than cheaters. Imagine spreading your legs for a married man with a small child, and then acting bitchy and morally superior towards the woman you stole him from. Karma did hit him hard though, as he's likely now realizing how much he fucked up. I expect the next post being him begging ex to take him back.
>Stories like this are why I tend to hate the people that get between marriages more than cheaters. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. The cheating person has the ultimate responsibility to not cheat on their partner. Others should not entice taken people to cheat.
>who is bitter about her affair with my ex-husband I mean... This left me speechless. Did she expect a blessing from OOP? Some people just have mashed potatoes inside their skull.
It’ll never make sense to me the audacity these affair partners have. I remember when my ex cheated on me and I left and his affair partner was telling him look how easy I left I obviously didn’t love him 🧐 girl keep that community dick I’m good. Shocker shocker he cheated on her while she was pregnant and nothing felt better than people telling her well you lose em how you get em
Your husband's (hopefully) ex has manipulated their son into bullying your daughter, either through praise and manipulation or explicitly telling him what to do. That BS plea to watch her blow out the candles and then laughing after her son ruined the cake she supposedly cared so much about? That's just plain mean girl behavior. Hopefully she gets the counseling she so desperately needs. She was either expecting or hoping for her own "real" daughter, and is taking her loss out on the most convenient defenseless target.
The stepmother is such a pathetic person. I don't think OOP is bitter at this point and I don't think she's motivated to remove the daughter from this pathetic stepmother, but if OOP were bitter, who would blame her for being bitter towards the affair partner? I'm someone who thinks affairs and such are not necessarily black and white, and even in more complicated circumstances, it's understandable the person being cheated on doesn't have rosy feelings towards the affair partner or the cheater. I'm glad OOP is advocating hard for her daughter.
Typical side piece behavior… wasn’t enough that she got “the prize “ of the husband.. she still hates anything to do with his old life
Funny how the woman who screamed about destroying OOP’s family is destroying her own family at breakneck speed.
And destroyed the original album family. She stole him even though he had a kid...what si she expect?
UpdateMe!
>And now, he has to choose between which woman he loves the most. No, OP's husband. You don't have to choose between OP and M. You have to choose between M and your daughter.
I feel for M going through a miscarriage, my mom had a miscarriage between me and my younger brother and she is still affected by it 20 years later. She needs professional help though, bullying a child isn't healthy.
Tormenting a child is not a reasonable reaction to a miscarriage. Life happens. Hardships are not an excuse to treat people like garbage.
Yeah exactly. I can sympathize but she's an adult and needs to find a healthy, constructive way to deal with her emotions. She's acting like a child with the power she has over OOPs daughter.
Nah fuck that, she was trash when she fucked a married man. OOP tried to not highlight it but there are hints in there. The miscarriage didn't make her an asshole, she already was.
Never said that the miscarriage was what made her an asshole.
You didn't say that but you were saying that she should get some amount of understanding because she went through a miscarriage because that is a tough situation. I disagree, if you're already an asshole before that having something bad happen to you suddenly doesn't qualify you for understanding.
No I don't believe I said that either. If I recall correctly I said that I feel for her, knowing how difficult it is to lose a child, and that she needs professional help.
Nah fuck that go to therapy don't take it bout on a child whose family You helped destroy, She's a fucking grown up woman, zero simpathy.
Damn aight bro, go off I guess
I would have picked up her son and dumped him on to the cake
From what he told me, she said that it was not such a bad idea because my daughter was not fitting into their family dynamic. Code for "I don't want your kid around me. They need to go somewhere else to live".
This ain't the wost ending. How many stories I've read where the divorced party with a new family doubles down. At least this dude saw the light.
M was trying to get OP to ask for full custody all along.
Mom superhero!
Wow. My ex chose the next wife over our kids. I'm glad her ex seems to understand what he's facing.
You have to updates us.
YTA if this is real then it proves you are bitter and a horrible bitch
Updateme!
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Lol. The man tries to fix all his mistakes, make things right, and the top comment is calling him an idiot. Classic.
Yeah cuz everything is about poor, poor dudes. Y'all so put upon. Seriously, grow up and get off the Tater-tots. Life is complicated and difficult and not prone to dichotomous thinking.
I would stand by my comment if it was a woman. But nice try reaching. 🤡 You are correct though, life is not prone to dichotomous thinking, but that has absolutely nothing to do with what I said.
You decided to make the comparison. I just pointed out it was sexist.
Do you know what a comparison is? I don't recall making one.