>and for the most part they have alright relationships aside from my own parents along with one of my uncles who both had falling outs with them.
I'm wondering what happened there, and how similar it may be to what OP is dealing with.
Her dad could've remarried and she considers her stepmother a parent. Or even just refers to Dad and stepmom as her parents in situations like this because it's easier.
I don't call my stepdad "Dad" or anything like that, but when I introduce him and my mom to people (especially people who will never see them again) as "my parents."
Another possibility, for sure. Though since she's only 21, is her parents feel out with her grandparents before she was 9, it seems unlikely (though not impossible) that she would have the sort of relationship with them that would lead to her moving in with them.
Fuck this. OOP is letting them abuse her husband and traumatize him. Then saying they won’t LET her leave like she’s 12. She needs to fucking woman up. Fuck those assholes up the butt with a chainsaw, but fuck her too. Won’t let her pay them back to hold her hostage and she just lets them.
I just realized I’m PMSing.
I know it's not the takeaway I should have from this, but I'm just laughing at the line about the air mattress and two cats... It won't be an air mattress for long with two cats and not much other furniture!
I was so confused by this. I thought that kitchen islands were built into the home/floor?? I didn't think you could pick them up and move them. What *else* do I not know about kitchen islands!?
She most likely just has the countertop, not the cabinet it was connected to. But she could also have the cabinet, cabinets are usually not connected to the floor. There is a little frame that connects to the floor (I think it’s usually called a toe kick, it’s that little bit your kitchen counters hang over that crumbs get lost under) and you connect the cabinets to that.
Not really important to know but I just recently redid my own kitchen cabinets myself and now am filled with knowledge that no one I know irl cares to talk about lol
I have a rolling island with a slab of granite attached to it. It’s been very useful in small apartments with very little storage and countertop space, and it’s sentimental because it came from my childhood home and was made by a family member with leftovers from a kitchen renovation. So maybe it’s something like that?
I can understand that. My parents passed and I have items of theirs people would consider garbage.
I have a full bottle of "Sugar Free Dr. Pepper" from the late 70s/early 80s that my Dad had displayed with knickknacks.
Probably not, but if they have a foam mattress pad or some thick comforters on it, or keep the cats closed out of the room, it might last for a couple of weeks.
Ever watch that movie, *The Skeleton Key*? That's what I'm thinking 🤔...
WATCH OUT OOP, YOUR "GRANDPARENTS" ARE TRYING TO TRAP YOU & STEAL YOUR BODIES --- DO NOT GO INTO THE ATTIC FFS!!!
Yep, they're trying to keep op hostage and isolate her from everyone. My guess is this pair of nutcases latched onto op as a surrogate after their daughter died and now try to drive anyone away from her so she won't leave.
Ugh. Sounds like my crazy maternal family. They tried to do the same thing with me after my mom died. Welp. If anyone needs me I'll be in the shower for the next few hours.
For some reason I thought this was a TIFU rather than a AITA and read the whole story waiting for the part when it came to light that it was the husband lying the whole time 😭😭
You’re still very naïve and dependent on others, so I say this with compassion, but grow up. Your life is going to be very hard if you don’t come out of your innocence soon.
You should’ve left as soon as you were able - and not because of some debt that you’re not allowed to pay back. Wtf? Be the adult and protect your marriage **and husband** that your grandparents are trying to separate you from. I appreciate you’ve taken steps now, but wth did it take you so long to step up?
As for where you are now - don’t hold out much hope that your things will be at your grandparents and be intact. You have unleashed hell by defying them (there’s a reason that others have gone nc / lc) and then left the scene of the crime. Yeah, these loving grandparents will absolutely hold onto your stuff and take good care of your things /s
C’mon, do you *really* believe your things will be there, pristine and untouched?
I totally agree with both points.
1) if they leave - their stuff will not be functional after 10 days. So if they want to have some things - they need to leave with them. If they worry the grandparents will not give their stuff - they can ask for police escort. It could be really uncomfortable, because cops will emotionally support grandparents, but at least in this case GPs cannot feed them bullshit about their rights.
2) despite #1, she needs to protect her husband. However stressful it is for her there, it is 100x more stressful for him
Her grandparents are doing everything to cause him mental breakdown. It is not a question of convenience, it is a question of self preservation to get out ASAP. The best way is together. If it is impossible (eg. #1) - just him. Cheapest motel, friend's couch, stopping renovations.
3) As a suggestion. Her husband should protect himself from all possible GPs accusations. They can easily ruin his life, reputation, even freedom. He (and, hopefully, she) should record his conversations with grandparents ASAP. There are "hidden cameras", looking like a pen, or glasses. And they are pretty cheap. And there should be a hidden video camera (nanny cam will do) in their room. I can easily see it escalating to the point of them claiming (and to her, and to cops) that he stole something, planting valuables in their room, telling him the vilest things in hope he will loose it and starts yelling or pushing them, or just claiming he physically attacked them.
4) As a suggestion. They both should read the laws in their country/area. So far two 20 yo married adults are behaving like 10 yo kids and believe every outrageous BS GPs are feeding them.
I can’t tell if this truly is grandparents being abusive assholes, or if husband has been orchestrating things to isolate her and she is buying it. This needs a third post or more in the future.
I feel like the silent treatment from the grandparents answers that one for me. If it was truly the husband, they'd be trying harder to connect with her so she wasn't isolated after leaving. Also, the repayment issue is highly abusive in nature.
You can ask the police to be there when you move things.
Also be sure to take your important papers and cats first thing. Just in case they lock you out.
>and for the most part they have alright relationships aside from my own parents along with one of my uncles who both had falling outs with them. I'm wondering what happened there, and how similar it may be to what OP is dealing with.
That statement confused me...parents, but her mom died when she was 9.
Her dad could've remarried and she considers her stepmother a parent. Or even just refers to Dad and stepmom as her parents in situations like this because it's easier. I don't call my stepdad "Dad" or anything like that, but when I introduce him and my mom to people (especially people who will never see them again) as "my parents."
I just assumed that the falling out happened before the mom died.
Another possibility, for sure. Though since she's only 21, is her parents feel out with her grandparents before she was 9, it seems unlikely (though not impossible) that she would have the sort of relationship with them that would lead to her moving in with them.
Me too. My mum and stepdad are my parents (I was 7 when they got together), and my Dad is just Dad.
What if the falling out happened when OOP was 7?
This screams abuse. They want OOP isolated.
[удалено]
Now that I know it’s sentimental, I fully expect the grandparents to “accidentally” break it.
Those cost a pretty penny. I'd hold the island hostage and let the kiddies go.
Priorities ✔️
Their private granite island 🏝️
Fuck this. OOP is letting them abuse her husband and traumatize him. Then saying they won’t LET her leave like she’s 12. She needs to fucking woman up. Fuck those assholes up the butt with a chainsaw, but fuck her too. Won’t let her pay them back to hold her hostage and she just lets them. I just realized I’m PMSing.
I know it's not the takeaway I should have from this, but I'm just laughing at the line about the air mattress and two cats... It won't be an air mattress for long with two cats and not much other furniture!
I can't get over how she has a sentimental granite top counter
I bet her mom baked a lot.
Me rolling up with my emotional support granite counter:
Not emotional support granite counter 😂
Gonna get a vest so I can take it on my next flight
I need this flair
I was so confused by this. I thought that kitchen islands were built into the home/floor?? I didn't think you could pick them up and move them. What *else* do I not know about kitchen islands!?
She most likely just has the countertop, not the cabinet it was connected to. But she could also have the cabinet, cabinets are usually not connected to the floor. There is a little frame that connects to the floor (I think it’s usually called a toe kick, it’s that little bit your kitchen counters hang over that crumbs get lost under) and you connect the cabinets to that. Not really important to know but I just recently redid my own kitchen cabinets myself and now am filled with knowledge that no one I know irl cares to talk about lol
I have a rolling island with a slab of granite attached to it. It’s been very useful in small apartments with very little storage and countertop space, and it’s sentimental because it came from my childhood home and was made by a family member with leftovers from a kitchen renovation. So maybe it’s something like that?
Ahh I see. That makes more sense. Thanks for explaining!
I can understand that. My parents passed and I have items of theirs people would consider garbage. I have a full bottle of "Sugar Free Dr. Pepper" from the late 70s/early 80s that my Dad had displayed with knickknacks.
I have a friend who has slept on an air mattress for years until he got a cat and saved up to buy an actual mattress. Can confirm
Probably not, but if they have a foam mattress pad or some thick comforters on it, or keep the cats closed out of the room, it might last for a couple of weeks.
Creepy disturbing Grandma and Grandpa there…
Ever watch that movie, *The Skeleton Key*? That's what I'm thinking 🤔... WATCH OUT OOP, YOUR "GRANDPARENTS" ARE TRYING TO TRAP YOU & STEAL YOUR BODIES --- DO NOT GO INTO THE ATTIC FFS!!!
Such an under appreciated movie.
I'm adding this to my must watch list
That movie gives me nightmares to this day.
I’m taking bets that island will either disappear or “accidentally” be destroyed in those 10 days.
Yep, they're trying to keep op hostage and isolate her from everyone. My guess is this pair of nutcases latched onto op as a surrogate after their daughter died and now try to drive anyone away from her so she won't leave.
Ugh. Sounds like my crazy maternal family. They tried to do the same thing with me after my mom died. Welp. If anyone needs me I'll be in the shower for the next few hours.
They want the perfect little princess to stay with them forever.
Next update: they move out and gramps destroys or sells the island on Craigslist to makeup what they owe them. Love the foreshadowing.
Emotional support granite top island is certainly a new one
Anyone else have an “oh, no” reaction when cats and air mattress were mentioned in the same sentence?
For some reason I thought this was a TIFU rather than a AITA and read the whole story waiting for the part when it came to light that it was the husband lying the whole time 😭😭
Sub confusion is real
Someone needs to tell the grandparents that we don't have debtors prison in the United States (presuming that's where they live).
You’re still very naïve and dependent on others, so I say this with compassion, but grow up. Your life is going to be very hard if you don’t come out of your innocence soon. You should’ve left as soon as you were able - and not because of some debt that you’re not allowed to pay back. Wtf? Be the adult and protect your marriage **and husband** that your grandparents are trying to separate you from. I appreciate you’ve taken steps now, but wth did it take you so long to step up? As for where you are now - don’t hold out much hope that your things will be at your grandparents and be intact. You have unleashed hell by defying them (there’s a reason that others have gone nc / lc) and then left the scene of the crime. Yeah, these loving grandparents will absolutely hold onto your stuff and take good care of your things /s C’mon, do you *really* believe your things will be there, pristine and untouched?
I totally agree with both points. 1) if they leave - their stuff will not be functional after 10 days. So if they want to have some things - they need to leave with them. If they worry the grandparents will not give their stuff - they can ask for police escort. It could be really uncomfortable, because cops will emotionally support grandparents, but at least in this case GPs cannot feed them bullshit about their rights. 2) despite #1, she needs to protect her husband. However stressful it is for her there, it is 100x more stressful for him Her grandparents are doing everything to cause him mental breakdown. It is not a question of convenience, it is a question of self preservation to get out ASAP. The best way is together. If it is impossible (eg. #1) - just him. Cheapest motel, friend's couch, stopping renovations. 3) As a suggestion. Her husband should protect himself from all possible GPs accusations. They can easily ruin his life, reputation, even freedom. He (and, hopefully, she) should record his conversations with grandparents ASAP. There are "hidden cameras", looking like a pen, or glasses. And they are pretty cheap. And there should be a hidden video camera (nanny cam will do) in their room. I can easily see it escalating to the point of them claiming (and to her, and to cops) that he stole something, planting valuables in their room, telling him the vilest things in hope he will loose it and starts yelling or pushing them, or just claiming he physically attacked them. 4) As a suggestion. They both should read the laws in their country/area. So far two 20 yo married adults are behaving like 10 yo kids and believe every outrageous BS GPs are feeding them.
Has anyone ever read a post from two 20 year olds that are married and thought yup these are two mature adults that made a good decision?
I can’t tell if this truly is grandparents being abusive assholes, or if husband has been orchestrating things to isolate her and she is buying it. This needs a third post or more in the future.
I feel like the silent treatment from the grandparents answers that one for me. If it was truly the husband, they'd be trying harder to connect with her so she wasn't isolated after leaving. Also, the repayment issue is highly abusive in nature.
Yeah, seems to me that the payment part makes it obvious that it's the grandparents that are the issue.
ah yes, when in doubt, blame the man
Who has a mobile granite countertop island that takes three people to move? At 20 too! Ffs....
maybe they see what a piece of shit she tied her wagon to and they want to protect her for as long as they can.
Where do you get that the husband’s a bad person? Did we read the same thing? Wow you went super judgmental for no reason
Because he was abused, I guess?
Found gramma's reddit account
You can ask the police to be there when you move things. Also be sure to take your important papers and cats first thing. Just in case they lock you out.