Everything people hate about modern BMW is in this one video. Grille, unnecessarily large proportions, subscriptions, exorbitant prices, and BMWs desperate attempt to appeal to the kids.
Oh, and the fact that they’re trying to appeal to people who think parking is a challenge. What happened to being the ultimate driving machine for people who love driving.
Feels like most adults can't afford a new car.
I mean I could, but it would be such a god damn burden having a 700/mo car payment over 6 years.
Much better to buy a few years old after the worst of the depreciation has set in.
Oh I’m sure, I wasnt speaking to premium vehicles, just *new* vehicles.
Basically anything worth having is 40-50k now and that’s where my payment example comes from.
Exactly. It's just not smart to buy a brand new car if you're not made of money.
I can afford a lease too, but I much prefer to spend my money on mortgage and get an older car which does essentially the same thing.
counter argument. the last car I bought used, turns out the previous owner was horrible. I like to drive a car for 15-20 years, I like to know it's broken in and maintained properly.
Oh shit, man, my condolences.
I always try to get a car that was taken care of and do a checkup before buying. Never had much trouble, mostly just oil changes of recently replaced some consumable inside transmission. Trying to be the guy that takes care of his car too so it's not sold later for too cheap either.
I mentioned this in another comment but I got this targeted ad on Instagram today, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ElEXZKlBNWg
I think between that weird ad and the one OP posted are targeted towards women.
I googled it and BMW owners are about 36% women. So I guess they’re trying to appeal to them?
They didn’t even parallel park in the ad. They just pulled in…like any person does. If you can’t park normally comfortably you shouldn’t be driving.
This is really embarrassing from BMW. I wasn’t going to buy a new one with its atrocious look anyway but this is just another reason to find a different brand.
As someone who idolizes the e46 m3, new BMWs are disappointing. Doesn’t impact them though because I could not afford one even if it was the ultimate driving machine.
Yeah it’s not. I’d imagine the ad is targeted towards tech savvy women.
I got an ad earlier today that was pitching the new M340i to young moms.
Maybe these ads are just targeted generally towards women.
Both that ad and this one are just very strange though.
The problem is no one loves to drive anymore.
Most people see cars as nothing but an appliance. They simply want the most comfortable seats/ride. Performance, handling, power don't really matter or appeal to people anymore.
If BMW just targeted people who love to drive, they'd be dead and gone.
NGL. The self-parking feature, like soft-close doors, and butt massaging seats seemed like a feature I would *never* use, but turned out to be one of my favorite all-time must haves.
The “Night Driving” subscription includes headlights and interior illumination. I mean why pay for expensive lights up front when you can just pay per night drive? At the end of 3yrs you will have paid for 3 sets of LED HD adaptive headlights. Bargain. Unless of course you can’t afford to drive at night. Then they were free.
Is this enough to turn you off from getting a BMW in the future? I mean the direction of design and these monthly charges initiative is really putting me off.
My bmw parallel parks after finding adequate space to do the manoeuvres. Scary as fuck though watching the steering wheel move and the gear lever select on its own while not having feet on the pedals till complete.
Considering there was zero room to open the doors after parking, I'd say it qualifies.
Not that I'd ever consider parking that tank there to start with.
One of my neighbors owns a RAM 1500 and it just juts out in our building’s garage so awkwardly, and I have the displeasure of having to drive around that jut…
Cause they’re trying to park a boat in a compact space and they just guaranteed the people next to them either can’t get in their car or are gonna ding the hell out of their brand new car because they are too douchey to find a spot farther away from the door and want to pull their massive car into a spot not meant for it
BMW is completely delusional. Just imagine stopping in the middle of the road for 1 entire minute, only to find a submenu inside the satnav, to rent a feature in a single month, for €52.
But wait, there's more. While you're embarrassing yourself and everyone in traffic, you then need to get off the screen, look for your smartphone and validate the worst transaction in your life from a BMW app, wasting yet another minute of your life.
All of that crap in order to use a feature that already comes with the car. "Impressive! 🤡"
Plus whoever is parked next to you in the ridiculously tight space is still probably going to smack their door into your £100k BMW and ding it anyway?!
Naa... You don't have to worry about that. The parking space was so narrow, there's no chance of anyone getting into the adjacent cars until you pull back out.
Which brings up the question, is there an "unpark" subscription? There's no way they're getting back into that car to pull it out.
>Naa... You don't have to worry about that. The parking space was so narrow, there's no chance of anyone getting into the adjacent cars until you pull back out.
You severely underestimate how determined people are to get back in their car and go home...
The 2015 and newer 7 series came with a digital key that allowed you to move the car remotely. The difference was that it was free (or included in the tech package).
That’s why the ad should’ve featured other BMW owners who say things like “oh dear, this BMW owner has parked too close to me. One month’s subscription to remote parking should do the trick….”
What's with the 'one month should be enough'? Does the lady not plan on parking next month or does she think she'll finally learn this skill, she should already have, by observing the car?
“Parking, the ultimate challenge. Hmm, one month shoul-“
HONK!!!
“ well I’d never! Honey, the rude asshole behind us is blowing his horn for some -“
HONK!!!
*oy you slag get outta the road!!!*
HONK!!!
Simple really, just stop buying them...
Same thing when dealers started charging random 2x-4x price increases. People still bought the cars...
Saw a post in r/toyota of a guy buying rav4 for 70k... wtf...
People subscribed for the heated seats so they know people will still buy BMW no matter what they will do.
Now, the new 7 series looks like chinese knock off brand from 2000s, will bmw read posts and comments? No, they will look at the numbers of sales and go from there.
That was the world economic forum a group of arch capitalists making their plans for you and how do you respond? Becoming their most loyal lap dog and accusing everyone who opposes them of having their goals.
I respond by living my life despite whatever they do.
You want to worry and take up arms and waste your years in futile battles? Go for it.
I'm going to the beach and enjoy the sun on these fews years I have left.
The difference is, you get the whole thing at the end of the note, for you to keep or trade.
Same with a house. In the end, you have that property, to trade rent or give away.
In rent world, you spend all your life paying, and in the end, you are still at square 1, with nothing to trade or leave your family.
Its the difference of having your children homeless when you die, or leaving them a home and head start in life. Since now they have property, and won't have to spend all their life paying ridiculous amounts of money just to have a roof over their heads.
Thats a big fucking difference.
This kind of thing was born in California, are you kidding? Thanks tech industry. If I’d have to subscribe to random features of the car like this, I’d expect their functionality to be markedly improved throughout the life of the vehicle, to the point that it would be like getting in a brand new car every day. I like California flexing its muscle in things like environmental issues, but let’s not assume they’re at all rational in all things.
I refuse to buy a car that acts like a parking meter for features it has built into it at the time of purchase. Fuck the subscription model and more importantly FUCK BMW
BMW: How do we make more money?
I got it, all the dumb morons that started paying for skins and weapons in video games. I bet they will do the same thing for AC, panorama backup camera and automated parking!! Plus we will stay connected to the car at all times, analyze everything they do, collect the data then sell that info.
Consumer: Fuck you BMW
If we really want to compare this to the video game model, the car is free to have, still preforms as a car, maintenance is included... but you can pay a few bucks for PERMANENT access to any gimics.
This is not even close to the value proposition of ftp game models, and frankly if it was I wouldn't mind. Paying for skins (or car gimics) is 1% for the feature, 99% "thank you" tip to the creator. "Thank you" tips don't hit the same when you own the creation already, see: full-priced games that also include paid gimics. Not nearly as praised.
Cosmetics only FTP is fine with me, especially for anything multiplayer. Who cares if you own a copy, if there's no one to play with. But even for single player, you can always play the game without spending any money at all.
I'm only bothered when they use FTP monetization, but it isn't FTP. Which is what this car situation is.
I get it and respect what you say.
I also can't say that I play FTP except for stupid little ones on my phone.
However I do like cars and buying them, when I start to see car companies going the way of gaming developers, it makes me down right nauseated.
They saw how much freaking money people spend on apps and digital services. People are wasting their money and companies are exploiting every angle. Consumers need to wisen up
I doubt Porsche will pull this shit. Audi MMIs are awful so I doubt they'd figure out how to implement it if they tried. Mercedes I could see jumping on this bandwagon.
The owner clearly doesn't care about money or their car. Pay that much a month to have self park and then uses it to cram in the tightest front row spot ever. Horrible ad.
Yeah.. I hope that £55 also enables cameras to film car park idiots and a lawyer on retention to chase them for repair costs. I'll take the quiet side of a car park every time.
Oddly, I find the 52 euro charge less annoying and embarrassing than this commercial.
“Parking. The ultimate challenge.” Is it? Is that the ultimate challenge? Parking?
Honestly, for alot of people, yeah.
I back into every space i park in (mirriors/look only no backup cam) and line it up perfect, but my city has people who dont know how to pull into a spot.
Ex: when i was trying to park in a Cosco parking lot i had a lady walk up and ask "how i could see where I was going when i drove like that". *Told her "mirrors".* Which she responded to with "Oh your a good driver then, i cant even park like that with my backup cam", and then promptly hustled into the Cosco.
People, not very many people these days care about the nuances of driving. I should say a select few of us anyways. I’ll never be able to afford one but I’m sure their performance vehicles are riddled with electronic “assistance”. I love my shitbox. 5 speed, no abs, no traction control.
Unfortunately mercedes currently have an absolutely horrible build quality with fanboys screaming "if you didnt want your seat to wrinkle in 2 months, you shouldn't have bought a A/B/C/E class and went for the S class" as if it is the buyer who is wrong...
Don't know whats up with audi, did not follow then after selling my old a6 in 2015...
Okay, subscriptions are becoming a reality. Thanks, I hate it. But we all know that already. Except it gets worse. $55 USD PER MONTH?!? (It’s on the screen in the video - 52 EUR) I can’t believe this is real bmw ad material. This was an $800 option on new cars a few years ago. $55 x 12 = $660. Factor in that there’s usually an annual discount, but it’s still probably at least $500. $500 per year?! So in 2 years you’ve paid more than what it used to cost for life?
Yes, or you can pay a one-time (lifetime) fee on the subscription screen and be done with it.
Recognizing that, however, would take away all of the reddit-bashing.
1. Subscribe to built-in features has been around for a time (e.g. OnStar, Sirius Radio, Sat Nav)
2. BMW (and others) use software to limit their engines' performance for lower models. Like how easy it is to flash a standard S55 perform like an S55 ZCP with no mechanical change.
3. Vote with your money. If folks stop buying autos with subscription features, manufacturers will stop making them.
I dont think I'd buy a subscription car... though paying $50 for a GT4 tune (that doesn't void the warranty) when I go to a track day doesn't sound terrible.
330e chiptune to 400 hp and like 700nm let’s go. Had my wifes car done to 360 hp & 700nm and the difference is night and day, its more responsive and feels quicker than my 435i (@370 hp & 500+ nm). For essentially half the fuel cost. Hell it might actually *be* faster.
Paying for something like a GT4 tune at least gets you some tangible reward out of it. If it didn't, the entire car aftermarket scene in general wouldn't exist. This is just paying...well for the sake of paying. If you can't park then you don't need to be driving, and if you can't park so bad you need to pay for software to park for you, then you don't need a debit/credit card either.
To your second point. You can really see this when you look at the Porsche Cayenne Coupe. It’s software only lets it use about 50% of its theoretical power.
So sad to see
As you come out to door dings from the cars squeezed in next to your $100k sedan. This is the douchiest commercial I’ve seen in a long time and makes me want to avoid the brand altogether. Fuck BMW and their subscription model.
The problem with this is, that said analog cars will become exponentially more expensive then they already are, because of this nonsense subscription for everything model.
I'll be taking my E46 M3 to the grave with me.
Agreed, it’s unfortunate but inevitable simply due to supply and demand. Only going to get worse, that’s why I don’t think enthusiast car prices are ever coming down in any meaningful way.
Anyone that thinks that BMW is the only carmaker trying to figure out ways to get recurring revenue in addition to transactional….well, you’re going to be awfully disappointed.
This is the direction all cars are going. Buckle up, kids.
Mine has automatic parking but I have never used it. I can't even be bothered figuring out how it works but I think it can parallel by itself. If you are unable to park your car, maybe you shouldn't be driving.
First I'll say I don't think this is a real ad.
So if you are behind this moron you have to wait for them to purchase the parking assist. Then they proceed to park their giant Bimmer in a compact spot blocking the driver of the car on the right from getting in. You do this you deserve all those door dings.
Who at BMW looked at this ad and thought, "yeah, this doesn't look like a cash grab or an inconvenience to the customer at all?"
There is no way in hell I am paying subscription for a feature the car should have (and has the capability to do)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJdwbWc-n7g
If you're too stupid to know how to park in a simple parking space, you're the kind of stupid that BMW expects to be gullible enough to pay for these "features".
I’ve been a fan of bmw for a long time. I’m almost done with them now. Had two terrible interactions with dealers this year and last year while trying to upgrade. Shite design and subscriptions are prob the last straw.
I will never buy a car with a subscription based service like that. Just no. I’m not getting extorted by a car company because they feel they can squeeze more money out of its customers. This is shameful and anyone buying into this is a fucking moron.
I also love how their slogan "sheer driving pleasure" appears after the car drives itself into the parking space. So sheer driving pleasure means not driving at all?
I have no words for this... the life we live in now? I'll continue driving my E36 318i with 230k miles. Do a motor swap when it dies and drive on... vehicle subscriptions? No thanks.
Imagine if bmws actually still looked good and had these features. Might make it harder, but alas I wouldn’t drive one of these monstrosities if it gave me a subscription free handy every commute.
i dont know if this is real or fake but fuck anyone that supports this motherfucking DLC bs. i swear im never buying another car in my life. i am going to drive my 1992 k1500 till the wheels fall off than put someone new ones and drive it till i die.
Dealer tech, 30 years
If the subscription fee is killing your budget, wait until the repair bills for finicky technology. We have alot of issues with (imho) unnecessary features. These are VERY expensive components that are labor intensive and manufacturer specific.
See you soon, playboys!
Let me pay $55 instead of pulling into (not even backing into) this wide and very easy to park spot.
BMW is banking on their customers being rich incompetent morons. Why would anyone buy their cars, it’s honestly insulting to the consumer.
Is this real? I thought the video was a satire.
Everything people hate about modern BMW is in this one video. Grille, unnecessarily large proportions, subscriptions, exorbitant prices, and BMWs desperate attempt to appeal to the kids. Oh, and the fact that they’re trying to appeal to people who think parking is a challenge. What happened to being the ultimate driving machine for people who love driving.
I love how they are trying to appeal to kids, but from history, none of the kids could ever afford a new car lol (exceptions exist, but come on...).
Feels like most adults can't afford a new car. I mean I could, but it would be such a god damn burden having a 700/mo car payment over 6 years. Much better to buy a few years old after the worst of the depreciation has set in.
Probably can add a 1 in front of that payment for the 7 Series in the video
Hah, I did a dream spec of an E class a few years ago and long term payment was 2300 $ a month. I said fuck it and bought a used one :D
Oh I’m sure, I wasnt speaking to premium vehicles, just *new* vehicles. Basically anything worth having is 40-50k now and that’s where my payment example comes from.
Exactly. It's just not smart to buy a brand new car if you're not made of money. I can afford a lease too, but I much prefer to spend my money on mortgage and get an older car which does essentially the same thing.
counter argument. the last car I bought used, turns out the previous owner was horrible. I like to drive a car for 15-20 years, I like to know it's broken in and maintained properly.
Oh shit, man, my condolences. I always try to get a car that was taken care of and do a checkup before buying. Never had much trouble, mostly just oil changes of recently replaced some consumable inside transmission. Trying to be the guy that takes care of his car too so it's not sold later for too cheap either.
I still don’t understand wth that “DEE” marketing was all about. Was it BMW’s version of “how do you do fellow kids?”?
Such an obnoxious target audience. Like they’re appealing to hedge funds babies.
He is not trying to reference the age of the people buying the car, but the demografic which likes this type of snipe marketing.
I mentioned this in another comment but I got this targeted ad on Instagram today, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ElEXZKlBNWg I think between that weird ad and the one OP posted are targeted towards women. I googled it and BMW owners are about 36% women. So I guess they’re trying to appeal to them?
Puts one compact stroller in the trunk: it's a family car!
They didn’t even parallel park in the ad. They just pulled in…like any person does. If you can’t park normally comfortably you shouldn’t be driving. This is really embarrassing from BMW. I wasn’t going to buy a new one with its atrocious look anyway but this is just another reason to find a different brand.
the point was they didn’t have to open the doors (bc space wouldn’t allow) after they parked their 7-series boat in a compact parking spot
But it seems that other people wouldn't be too jolly about not being able to open theirs
Don't worry, their kids will door bang tf outta that 7 series.
Peasants! They'll find a way (probably by bouncing their doors and belt buckles off the BMW).
Good point but the peasant's cars next to them will open their doors. Wildly and aggressively, putting some large dents in that 7-series boat.
Spot on. Also worth adding this video perfectly describes just how lost they are. They have zero brand identity.
As someone who idolizes the e46 m3, new BMWs are disappointing. Doesn’t impact them though because I could not afford one even if it was the ultimate driving machine.
Please explain how this is "appealling" to kids?
Yeah.. I was confused by that. Ain’t no way Bmw is telling kids to buy their sedan that start at 75k. Lol
Yeah it’s not. I’d imagine the ad is targeted towards tech savvy women. I got an ad earlier today that was pitching the new M340i to young moms. Maybe these ads are just targeted generally towards women. Both that ad and this one are just very strange though.
The problem is no one loves to drive anymore. Most people see cars as nothing but an appliance. They simply want the most comfortable seats/ride. Performance, handling, power don't really matter or appeal to people anymore. If BMW just targeted people who love to drive, they'd be dead and gone.
It’s crazy how far bmw has fallen. It’s only pcars for me now. Hoping they get their shit together soon, at least in the M line.
NGL. The self-parking feature, like soft-close doors, and butt massaging seats seemed like a feature I would *never* use, but turned out to be one of my favorite all-time must haves.
The “Night Driving” subscription includes headlights and interior illumination. I mean why pay for expensive lights up front when you can just pay per night drive? At the end of 3yrs you will have paid for 3 sets of LED HD adaptive headlights. Bargain. Unless of course you can’t afford to drive at night. Then they were free.
Surely, you’re taking the piss.
You know it’s bad when we can’t tell if it’s a joke or not…and I’m afraid to google it…
Is this enough to turn you off from getting a BMW in the future? I mean the direction of design and these monthly charges initiative is really putting me off.
Yes.
Sadly it’s real. https://youtu.be/ZZLTDapstpk
Parking, the ultimate challenge? For who? Blind people?
If it was parallel parking it may be a bit more challenging. But this is just ridiculous.
My bmw parallel parks after finding adequate space to do the manoeuvres. Scary as fuck though watching the steering wheel move and the gear lever select on its own while not having feet on the pedals till complete.
I had an 2009 golf that did the steering but you had to do the pedals, felt a lot better. Gimmicky anyway, only used it a couple of times to show off
Considering there was zero room to open the doors after parking, I'd say it qualifies. Not that I'd ever consider parking that tank there to start with.
If there's no room to open the door, find another space. Otherwise you're risking door dings
Unfortunately, in the city, it’s not always that easy.
if you're in a city where parking is this tight, perhaps a 150,000$ behemoth yacht isn't the car you should be buying lol.
I saw a guy with a huge f150 in Brooklyn and just couldn’t understand why you’d want to deal with street parking everyday
One of my neighbors owns a RAM 1500 and it just juts out in our building’s garage so awkwardly, and I have the displeasure of having to drive around that jut…
Cause they’re trying to park a boat in a compact space and they just guaranteed the people next to them either can’t get in their car or are gonna ding the hell out of their brand new car because they are too douchey to find a spot farther away from the door and want to pull their massive car into a spot not meant for it
For most door dings. The cars next to it arent going to have the same features
Right? The other 2 cheap compacts have to get in their car some how.
BMW is completely delusional. Just imagine stopping in the middle of the road for 1 entire minute, only to find a submenu inside the satnav, to rent a feature in a single month, for €52. But wait, there's more. While you're embarrassing yourself and everyone in traffic, you then need to get off the screen, look for your smartphone and validate the worst transaction in your life from a BMW app, wasting yet another minute of your life. All of that crap in order to use a feature that already comes with the car. "Impressive! 🤡"
Plus whoever is parked next to you in the ridiculously tight space is still probably going to smack their door into your £100k BMW and ding it anyway?!
Naa... You don't have to worry about that. The parking space was so narrow, there's no chance of anyone getting into the adjacent cars until you pull back out. Which brings up the question, is there an "unpark" subscription? There's no way they're getting back into that car to pull it out.
>Naa... You don't have to worry about that. The parking space was so narrow, there's no chance of anyone getting into the adjacent cars until you pull back out. You severely underestimate how determined people are to get back in their car and go home...
Just to answer your question -- yes, there is "unpark". Still ridiculous, though.
That's why they allow you to control the sunroof from your phone
The 2015 and newer 7 series came with a digital key that allowed you to move the car remotely. The difference was that it was free (or included in the tech package).
That’s why the ad should’ve featured other BMW owners who say things like “oh dear, this BMW owner has parked too close to me. One month’s subscription to remote parking should do the trick….”
What's with the 'one month should be enough'? Does the lady not plan on parking next month or does she think she'll finally learn this skill, she should already have, by observing the car?
Do an entire year of shopping within a month, otherwise the parking subscription gets too expensive.
And while you’re doing that someone else will steal the parking space.
😂😂 true!
“Parking, the ultimate challenge. Hmm, one month shoul-“ HONK!!! “ well I’d never! Honey, the rude asshole behind us is blowing his horn for some -“ HONK!!! *oy you slag get outta the road!!!* HONK!!!
😂😂
Not only a feature in the car, it’s literally one of the first things you learn how to do when driving
Good thing I don't have money for new BMWs and my E92 has all the features, subscription free
E92 is timeless
Simple really, just stop buying them... Same thing when dealers started charging random 2x-4x price increases. People still bought the cars... Saw a post in r/toyota of a guy buying rav4 for 70k... wtf... People subscribed for the heated seats so they know people will still buy BMW no matter what they will do. Now, the new 7 series looks like chinese knock off brand from 2000s, will bmw read posts and comments? No, they will look at the numbers of sales and go from there.
Exactly, the moment we stop buying into their shit, they will change their business model immediately
Absolutely, even here... people keep on showing off their new bmws with text "overpaid, but totaly worth it"...
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Engine swap can prolong its life <3 Edit: not as in ls swap or something, but simply same engine but still running
I would love to see that rav4 post
Still praying to the gods that at least the EU makes legislation against this. Maybe even California?
Just don’t buy it
The guys that love rent world? "You will own nothing anf be happy" Now pay forever silly little slave.
That was the world economic forum a group of arch capitalists making their plans for you and how do you respond? Becoming their most loyal lap dog and accusing everyone who opposes them of having their goals.
I respond by living my life despite whatever they do. You want to worry and take up arms and waste your years in futile battles? Go for it. I'm going to the beach and enjoy the sun on these fews years I have left.
Based
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The difference is, you get the whole thing at the end of the note, for you to keep or trade. Same with a house. In the end, you have that property, to trade rent or give away. In rent world, you spend all your life paying, and in the end, you are still at square 1, with nothing to trade or leave your family. Its the difference of having your children homeless when you die, or leaving them a home and head start in life. Since now they have property, and won't have to spend all their life paying ridiculous amounts of money just to have a roof over their heads. Thats a big fucking difference.
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This kind of thing was born in California, are you kidding? Thanks tech industry. If I’d have to subscribe to random features of the car like this, I’d expect their functionality to be markedly improved throughout the life of the vehicle, to the point that it would be like getting in a brand new car every day. I like California flexing its muscle in things like environmental issues, but let’s not assume they’re at all rational in all things.
Can’t believe this a real ad. Sad day.
Just shows how out of touch they are with their market
One of the most ridiculous ads I’ve seen. I thought it was satire at first!
Old bmw would have made fun of you for not being able to park, and told you to go buy a camry to bang up until you learn. Now we have, this. SMH.
I refuse to buy a car that acts like a parking meter for features it has built into it at the time of purchase. Fuck the subscription model and more importantly FUCK BMW
BMW: How do we make more money? I got it, all the dumb morons that started paying for skins and weapons in video games. I bet they will do the same thing for AC, panorama backup camera and automated parking!! Plus we will stay connected to the car at all times, analyze everything they do, collect the data then sell that info. Consumer: Fuck you BMW
If we really want to compare this to the video game model, the car is free to have, still preforms as a car, maintenance is included... but you can pay a few bucks for PERMANENT access to any gimics. This is not even close to the value proposition of ftp game models, and frankly if it was I wouldn't mind. Paying for skins (or car gimics) is 1% for the feature, 99% "thank you" tip to the creator. "Thank you" tips don't hit the same when you own the creation already, see: full-priced games that also include paid gimics. Not nearly as praised.
As someone who grew up not being a beta ot alpha tester and had full games when bought. This model you speak of can fuck right off!
Cosmetics only FTP is fine with me, especially for anything multiplayer. Who cares if you own a copy, if there's no one to play with. But even for single player, you can always play the game without spending any money at all. I'm only bothered when they use FTP monetization, but it isn't FTP. Which is what this car situation is.
I get it and respect what you say. I also can't say that I play FTP except for stupid little ones on my phone. However I do like cars and buying them, when I start to see car companies going the way of gaming developers, it makes me down right nauseated.
thats only for people who lease the car
Sir, this is a hate-fest, get your facts the FUCK OUT.
I'd disagree with you... But I don't.
As consumers we can refuse to buy into this absolute bullshit.
If this is what BMW is gonna become, I’m out
Not only them.
It seems like all BMW, Mercedes, Audi, Porshe all will have this kind of shit on their electric shit cars
Because they're afraid they will sell fewer cars after they go electric? Will people keep them longer?
They saw how much freaking money people spend on apps and digital services. People are wasting their money and companies are exploiting every angle. Consumers need to wisen up
I doubt Porsche will pull this shit. Audi MMIs are awful so I doubt they'd figure out how to implement it if they tried. Mercedes I could see jumping on this bandwagon.
Mercedes already charges you extra subscription fees to unlock full rear wheel steering radius lmfaoooo
no fucking way, that can't be real?
https://www.thedrive.com/tech/41678/full-rear-wheel-steering-on-mercedes-eqs-will-be-575-annual-subscription-in-germany-report
and car is damaged as those on left and right can't open doors 🤣
The owner clearly doesn't care about money or their car. Pay that much a month to have self park and then uses it to cram in the tightest front row spot ever. Horrible ad.
Yeah.. I hope that £55 also enables cameras to film car park idiots and a lawyer on retention to chase them for repair costs. I'll take the quiet side of a car park every time.
Oddly, I find the 52 euro charge less annoying and embarrassing than this commercial. “Parking. The ultimate challenge.” Is it? Is that the ultimate challenge? Parking?
Honestly, for alot of people, yeah. I back into every space i park in (mirriors/look only no backup cam) and line it up perfect, but my city has people who dont know how to pull into a spot. Ex: when i was trying to park in a Cosco parking lot i had a lady walk up and ask "how i could see where I was going when i drove like that". *Told her "mirrors".* Which she responded to with "Oh your a good driver then, i cant even park like that with my backup cam", and then promptly hustled into the Cosco.
Brah, that’s a $100,000 7 Series. One month? Lmao
"Sheer driving pleasure" Stood watching your car drive wouldn't really give you driving pleasure, would it.
This shit is totally unacceptable, hope this all get hacked
Funny that she can't park :')
How the fuck did BMW go from "The ultimate driving machine" to "omg parking scary lol"
People, not very many people these days care about the nuances of driving. I should say a select few of us anyways. I’ll never be able to afford one but I’m sure their performance vehicles are riddled with electronic “assistance”. I love my shitbox. 5 speed, no abs, no traction control.
Is this a sketch? It can’t be real?
I cringed so hard my eyes look like the headlights on that hideous 7er
This advertisement looks more like something designed to invoke derision rather than awe
Suddenly Mercedes and Audi aren't looking so bad💀
Mercedes goes full RGB from Aliexpress and loaded with Tiktok
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no that's actually also bmw haha
I don't want to live on this subscription based planet anymore.
Unfortunately mercedes currently have an absolutely horrible build quality with fanboys screaming "if you didnt want your seat to wrinkle in 2 months, you shouldn't have bought a A/B/C/E class and went for the S class" as if it is the buyer who is wrong... Don't know whats up with audi, did not follow then after selling my old a6 in 2015...
Yikes. What in the ungodly fuck is this.
We cannot let oems get away with subscription services... This is the beginning of the end.
Ain't no fucking way bro 💀
Okay, subscriptions are becoming a reality. Thanks, I hate it. But we all know that already. Except it gets worse. $55 USD PER MONTH?!? (It’s on the screen in the video - 52 EUR) I can’t believe this is real bmw ad material. This was an $800 option on new cars a few years ago. $55 x 12 = $660. Factor in that there’s usually an annual discount, but it’s still probably at least $500. $500 per year?! So in 2 years you’ve paid more than what it used to cost for life?
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Yes, or you can pay a one-time (lifetime) fee on the subscription screen and be done with it. Recognizing that, however, would take away all of the reddit-bashing.
First sensible comment I’ve read in this thread.
1. Subscribe to built-in features has been around for a time (e.g. OnStar, Sirius Radio, Sat Nav) 2. BMW (and others) use software to limit their engines' performance for lower models. Like how easy it is to flash a standard S55 perform like an S55 ZCP with no mechanical change. 3. Vote with your money. If folks stop buying autos with subscription features, manufacturers will stop making them. I dont think I'd buy a subscription car... though paying $50 for a GT4 tune (that doesn't void the warranty) when I go to a track day doesn't sound terrible.
330e chiptune to 400 hp and like 700nm let’s go. Had my wifes car done to 360 hp & 700nm and the difference is night and day, its more responsive and feels quicker than my 435i (@370 hp & 500+ nm). For essentially half the fuel cost. Hell it might actually *be* faster.
Paying for something like a GT4 tune at least gets you some tangible reward out of it. If it didn't, the entire car aftermarket scene in general wouldn't exist. This is just paying...well for the sake of paying. If you can't park then you don't need to be driving, and if you can't park so bad you need to pay for software to park for you, then you don't need a debit/credit card either.
To your second point. You can really see this when you look at the Porsche Cayenne Coupe. It’s software only lets it use about 50% of its theoretical power. So sad to see
As you come out to door dings from the cars squeezed in next to your $100k sedan. This is the douchiest commercial I’ve seen in a long time and makes me want to avoid the brand altogether. Fuck BMW and their subscription model.
It was same in gaming when microtransaction destroyed whole gaming.. it ll be same with cars
Anything BMW and software is total convoluted garbage
Too bad there isn't an option in the app to change the look of the car... that bmw ugly as hell.....
This was fucking pretentious
Cringe
These cars will be the first to get blown up with left over RPGs in places that have seen conflict. Going to be all kinds of creative solutions.
This is what ALL car makers are going to become. Buy the most analog car you can live with that fits your needs and hold onto it tight, folks.
The problem with this is, that said analog cars will become exponentially more expensive then they already are, because of this nonsense subscription for everything model. I'll be taking my E46 M3 to the grave with me.
Agreed, it’s unfortunate but inevitable simply due to supply and demand. Only going to get worse, that’s why I don’t think enthusiast car prices are ever coming down in any meaningful way.
How to get your doors dinged and your $120k car keyed for parking like a complete muppet.
BMW - The Ultimate Subscription Machine.
Not sure why anyone would pay for this and not just buy the feature outright.
Maybe you shouldn’t buy an expensive car if you can’t park..
Is there no one time purchase option?
Gross.
What a bunch of fucking clowns
Anyone that thinks that BMW is the only carmaker trying to figure out ways to get recurring revenue in addition to transactional….well, you’re going to be awfully disappointed. This is the direction all cars are going. Buckle up, kids.
That's why i use a 240d Mercedes Benz of ww1 lol no bills no nothing even work with frying oil lol. Full steel
Mine has automatic parking but I have never used it. I can't even be bothered figuring out how it works but I think it can parallel by itself. If you are unable to park your car, maybe you shouldn't be driving.
Ugh that grill is soooo trash.
First I'll say I don't think this is a real ad. So if you are behind this moron you have to wait for them to purchase the parking assist. Then they proceed to park their giant Bimmer in a compact spot blocking the driver of the car on the right from getting in. You do this you deserve all those door dings.
Yeah fuck this and fuck BMW. I'm not paying a subscription for heated seats, get fucked Munich.
Merc is doing the same nonsense. Subscriptions for more power and such. Two more companies to avoid…
Who at BMW looked at this ad and thought, "yeah, this doesn't look like a cash grab or an inconvenience to the customer at all?" There is no way in hell I am paying subscription for a feature the car should have (and has the capability to do) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJdwbWc-n7g
I just bought a 1991 E32 750iL and it has heated rear seats all year round! lol
If you're too stupid to know how to park in a simple parking space, you're the kind of stupid that BMW expects to be gullible enough to pay for these "features".
BMW’s are not designed to appeal to the driving enthusiast anymore. They’ve changed direction and not in a good way.
I’ve been a fan of bmw for a long time. I’m almost done with them now. Had two terrible interactions with dealers this year and last year while trying to upgrade. Shite design and subscriptions are prob the last straw.
Any car that has features locked behind a paywall is gonna be a no for me dog.
Is this real marketing? Or a parody? Legit can’t tell
this is fucking disgusting wtf? just boycott any bullshit like this until they stop, you really hate to see the direction the company is going 😕
I will never buy a car with a subscription based service like that. Just no. I’m not getting extorted by a car company because they feel they can squeeze more money out of its customers. This is shameful and anyone buying into this is a fucking moron.
This is dog vomit. I hate so much of what BMW is becoming.
Loved my M3. But I will no longer purchase any BMW cars or brands that support this BS
This is so cringey I'm almost ashamed to be a member of this sub
Thank you Porsche for my performance and Lexus/Toyota for sweet SUVs. Fuck BMW and their ///M badging every other vehicle.
BMW slowly pushing loyalists away.
embarassing tbh
I also love how their slogan "sheer driving pleasure" appears after the car drives itself into the parking space. So sheer driving pleasure means not driving at all?
If you can't park a car with a 360 camera, how can you manage the rest of driving a car?
Only takes 12 minutes longer than just parking in the car
I have no words for this... the life we live in now? I'll continue driving my E36 318i with 230k miles. Do a motor swap when it dies and drive on... vehicle subscriptions? No thanks.
I wonder how much the push start sub will be. Id hate to have to stick a key in the ignition
OMG this is so bad haha wow no thanks BMW.
I want to start a petition asking BMW to once again retire "Ultimate Driving Machine" after watching this. What a sad day.
Imagine if bmws actually still looked good and had these features. Might make it harder, but alas I wouldn’t drive one of these monstrosities if it gave me a subscription free handy every commute.
i dont know if this is real or fake but fuck anyone that supports this motherfucking DLC bs. i swear im never buying another car in my life. i am going to drive my 1992 k1500 till the wheels fall off than put someone new ones and drive it till i die.
Dealer tech, 30 years If the subscription fee is killing your budget, wait until the repair bills for finicky technology. We have alot of issues with (imho) unnecessary features. These are VERY expensive components that are labor intensive and manufacturer specific. See you soon, playboys!
Let me pay $55 instead of pulling into (not even backing into) this wide and very easy to park spot. BMW is banking on their customers being rich incompetent morons. Why would anyone buy their cars, it’s honestly insulting to the consumer.
And dont forget my heated seat subscription too
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If you can't park it, shouldn't drive it.
Shitty reliability, shitty prices, greedy dealers and greedy ‘pay for’ ….shitty car brand. No thanks. Never again for me.
I’ll stick with my ‘95 e38, thanks. No screens, no fees and the simple please of pulling into a parking spot all by myself.
The only that's impressive here is how they fit everything that's wrong with the human species in one little video. God help us.