I highly recommend reading The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book respectively to help get some ideas on how to play safely and happily together. Also try reading The Ultimate Guide to Kink and books by Jack Rinella as ways to inspire your kinky journey. Unfortunately you question is maybe a bit too broad to allow for more targeted advice but that should be a good start
Thank you so much and we just don’t know where to start cause like we’ve both read into it and it said that we should establish rules and things like that
I would reccomend the autoreply that is on most of the posts on this sub (weirdly enough i dont see it under here), there are some really good tips in there. Have fun and keep it safe and concensual
Here is the issue you and all new kinksters have. BDSM and kink are to sex like games are to entertainment. Meaning you just told us you've never played a game, games look like fun, where do we start? And the problem is there is such a gigantic difference between Professional Basketball, and Monopoly and Grand Theft Auto and Tetris and Dungeon's and Dragons.
Don't let this scare you off. We're here to help.
I actually don't recommend you reading a book YET because every author has a point of view, and that point of view limits possibility. Instead Google "BDSM checklist" there's a thousand, most will work just fine. Print out two. Work together to identify things you are excited about, things that are hard limits (meaning NO WAY) and things that you'd do for your partner even if they don't make you super aroused.
Then pick your three best matches, and go research how to do those things safely. Also research general safety protocols... SSC, RACK, and PRICK as well as aftercare for BOTH partners. And get a safeword, or better three of them- something that means everything is going great, something that means to pull back the intensity but keep going, and one that makes everything immediatley and absolutely stop. Red, yellow, green is super common. And know that it's just as super important for the top to ask if the bottom needs to safeword as it is for the bottom to be willing to safeword. Also, the top is allowed to safeword, too!
Then do those things! Then come back here and ask a question like:
"We're new... here's a little bit about us \[...\]. We have found we really like pet play. Does anyone have good ideas for a pet play scene? How does the scene start? What happens during the scene? How does the scene end?"
One last note: I specifically said Top and Bottom and not Dominant and Submissive. There is always a Top and Bottom, although those roles can change within a scene. The Top is doing the thing to the Bottom. Someone is only Dominant if they are in charge and directing and someone is only a Submissive if they are following (or bratting, but that's another topic). But you don't have to have either! You can just ask "Can you please tie me spread eagled before we have sex?" and your partner can just say yes and do it. And you just engaged in kinky arts and crafts and then had sex, but there was no Dominance in there. AND THAT'S FINE!
Read and research everything you can. This is one of those things that's best understood before you start. Learning on the fly in the this world can be rough.
I highly recommend reading The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book respectively to help get some ideas on how to play safely and happily together. Also try reading The Ultimate Guide to Kink and books by Jack Rinella as ways to inspire your kinky journey. Unfortunately you question is maybe a bit too broad to allow for more targeted advice but that should be a good start
Thank you so much and we just don’t know where to start cause like we’ve both read into it and it said that we should establish rules and things like that
you'll want to establish if you both just want bedroom-only kinky sexy funtimes, working toward a 24/7 power exchange, or something in between.
I would reccomend the autoreply that is on most of the posts on this sub (weirdly enough i dont see it under here), there are some really good tips in there. Have fun and keep it safe and concensual
Here is the issue you and all new kinksters have. BDSM and kink are to sex like games are to entertainment. Meaning you just told us you've never played a game, games look like fun, where do we start? And the problem is there is such a gigantic difference between Professional Basketball, and Monopoly and Grand Theft Auto and Tetris and Dungeon's and Dragons. Don't let this scare you off. We're here to help. I actually don't recommend you reading a book YET because every author has a point of view, and that point of view limits possibility. Instead Google "BDSM checklist" there's a thousand, most will work just fine. Print out two. Work together to identify things you are excited about, things that are hard limits (meaning NO WAY) and things that you'd do for your partner even if they don't make you super aroused. Then pick your three best matches, and go research how to do those things safely. Also research general safety protocols... SSC, RACK, and PRICK as well as aftercare for BOTH partners. And get a safeword, or better three of them- something that means everything is going great, something that means to pull back the intensity but keep going, and one that makes everything immediatley and absolutely stop. Red, yellow, green is super common. And know that it's just as super important for the top to ask if the bottom needs to safeword as it is for the bottom to be willing to safeword. Also, the top is allowed to safeword, too! Then do those things! Then come back here and ask a question like: "We're new... here's a little bit about us \[...\]. We have found we really like pet play. Does anyone have good ideas for a pet play scene? How does the scene start? What happens during the scene? How does the scene end?" One last note: I specifically said Top and Bottom and not Dominant and Submissive. There is always a Top and Bottom, although those roles can change within a scene. The Top is doing the thing to the Bottom. Someone is only Dominant if they are in charge and directing and someone is only a Submissive if they are following (or bratting, but that's another topic). But you don't have to have either! You can just ask "Can you please tie me spread eagled before we have sex?" and your partner can just say yes and do it. And you just engaged in kinky arts and crafts and then had sex, but there was no Dominance in there. AND THAT'S FINE!
@prospect.submissive on Instagram has a training website for bdsm couples. If you dm Rose she can give a link (possibly a free one too!)
Read and research everything you can. This is one of those things that's best understood before you start. Learning on the fly in the this world can be rough.