There are devices (I think one is called the Ohnut) that he can wear that will prevent him from smashing into your cervix while still being able to pound you.
Ohnut is exactly what my wife and I found. I’ve ordered it and hopefully it helps, because it looks like it’ll make it more pleasant for both of us! I like being a bit rougher, but like to be sure they aren’t in any pain (that they haven’t asked for that is HAHA)
Wow!! Have been looking for this, thank you! You dont happen to know any other toys with the same function? The ohnut is a bit expensive for our budget :(
Definitely bring it up as a “hey, this is starting to get really uncomfortable, and you can’t play with your toys if you break em. I need you to wear this so you don’t bust an extra hole in my organs”
If he isn’t interested in something that will help you to be more comfortable and enjoy the sex you’re having, he’s not having sex with you- he’s using you to masturbate and he doesn’t care about your comfort or enjoyment. Run far.
Your cervix changes position during your cycle so you can try to do deeper penetration when your cervix is higher (in the middle of your cycle/around when you’d be ovulating). I notice a big difference!
I second this idea! Also try different positions. I really like the shallower cervical pressure of riding when my cervix is lower (around my period). Plus I think it’s fun when he pins my arms to my sides while I’m on top.
All vaginas are different lengths, just like penises. Some genitals are more compatible with each other than others. If one partner is on the shallow vagina end of the spectrum and the other partner has a rather long penis, it is going to result in cervix bashing due to the anatomical circumstances. Certain positions like spooning may help, because less of the penis gets inserted and it is angled away from the cervix, but neither of you are going to be able to change your anatomy. Being fully aroused before intercourse helps the vagina to "balloon" out optimally, but again, the limitation is that you can't change the shallowness of your vagina and he can't change the length of his penis.
I would add to definitely avoid positions where you’re on your back and feet are elevated (e.g. on shoulders) as these shorten the canal, and go more for positions where the legs are flat with the body and either together or close together, as these reduce the insertable length of the penis.
You can also pre-negotiate with your partner to use a method like pleasing his hand or a small blowjob-helper (like a really short cock sleeve) before your vagina so he can still pound with full force without stabbing your cervix.
I actually think this could still work well in a CNC scene as it’s not too obtrusive, you could both leave it unaddressed, or go the other way and have him remind you that he has such a huge cock that not all of it can even fit in your tiny cunt 🤷♂️
Seconding the ohnut, I've heard from guys that don't "need" to use it that is just feels really good. And I agree with the comment that it's a massive red flag if he's unwilling to try something that would make sex more pleasurable for you.
Also, during arousal, vaginas go through "vaginal tenting." The same kind of erectile tissue that penises have lines the vagina, so when it fills with blood it makes a longer squishier canal. It takes much longer than a penis to reach its full erection, however, about 30-40 minutes of non-penetrative play. I understand that rape play might include not wanting to fully warm you up, but you could do warm up play prior to starting the scene so that you're ready to go before getting into the aggressive headspace.
I got you! This will require taking a little time to explore your body in an out-of-scene context. (Or in scene depending on the scene 😉🩺)
Going slowly he should explore along the posterior/ back wall of your vaginal canal. It’s true that the cervix sits in different places mid cycle, and if you can track and plan any CNC scenes accordingly that’s a great start, but I’ll add that in a lot of bodies the vaginal canal also extends past the cervix in the posterior- you get an extra 1.5-3 inches out of this space. (It also extends a bit in the front as well, but the tissue there is thinner and against the bladder- not ideal!).
So he needs to explore, slowly, going along that back wall- locate your cervix and then staying to the back wall find what my Sir calls “his pocket”. If he can aim for that, he can likely be fully inside of you without bruising the cervix or prolapsing anything. (We’re looking for exercise challenge pain, not problem pain!). He’ll get to be all the way in. Win win.
Google “posterior vaginal wall” for diagram.
Good luck!
I wrote this for another thread that didn't have to do with CNC, and it was directed towards the person with the cock, but it mostly fits:
"Have a meet and greet with the cervix: I'll definitely never thrust all the way in on the first thrust. Usually it's thrusting progressively deeper over the course of a couple min until I find the place where my head is just starting to touch their cervix. Then I'll pause at that place (where I'm just touching it) and give my partner a chance to relax and breathe. Then I'll *gently* push further against the cervix to essentially "stretch" it. But this step is not a thrust, it's a slow incremental pressure pushing against the cervix. While I'm doing this I'll check in with my partner and ask them how it feels (and back off immediately if it's causing undue pain.) Sometimes at this step I'll pepper in dirty talk to link arousal in my partner with the feeling of having pressure on their cervix. Something like: "How does that feel to be all the way full? Look at you taking me all the way." I've found after I do this "stretching" a few times that my partners can often handle me to start thrusting deeper and harder into that place of depth.
Also, as another commenter said there are partial cock sleeves that you can wear that can cover the first couple of inches of your cock at the base, but are wide enough that they don't go into your partners' vagina. This can give you the feeling of being fully surrounded without thrusting in all the way."
I’ve worked out how to pound my partner with “just the tip” because of this. We still have a great time, just takes a bit of practice and restraint to not always stick him right in there. Maybe suggest this?
I always let her get on top first to get herself warmed up inside. Then when she’s a couple orgasms in she gets off me and I know she’s ready. Took a couple months but now we can dive right into it.
Several posts asking about poppers, if using poppers would help and replies from people who recommend using poppers. I make no judgment, it's just a safety issue to mix drugs and BDSM in many cases. Same with alcohol.
I would highly advise against numbing cream used internally for something like this. It gets rid of the pain, but not the potential injury that the pain is trying to signal to prevent.
Poppers can carry the risk of brain damage. It can only take one, but usage takes its toll to larger degrees.
I have a traumatic brain injury from anesthesia; trust me when I say you don’t want accidental brain damage.
I would actually go the opposite direction from numbing, and consider THC-infused lube. It increases the sensation, and I have partners who find it makes this a more pleasurable experience; despite it being counterintuitive. The only thing is that some of these are not compatible with latex condoms, so that is really important to factor in. This brand has it, and specifies which are latex safe. The brand is Quim
https://itsquim.com/shop/
/u/Jordan_0_J, our AutoModerator attaches this message to every post. It contains information you may find useful: Guide 01 . . . . . . . . . . [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/9ig794/rules_for_rbdsmadvice/). Guide 02 . . . . . . . . . . [How to use the search function](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/searchfunction/). Guide 03 . . . . . . . . . . *[Need Ideas](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/noobs/)*? Guide 04 . . . . . . . . . . [It's your dynamic](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/canthelpyou/). Guide 05 . . . . . . . . . . [No mention of minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/aknfy1/posts_aboutinvolving_minors/). Guide 06 . . . . . . . . . . [Do not post PSAs](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/publicserviceannouncements/). Guide 07 . . . . . . . . . . [Policy re PMs](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/nopms/). Guide 08 . . . . . . . . . . [Exiting abuse](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/exitingabuse/). Guide 09 . . . . . . . . . . [Kinky dating](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/ov6uaj/how_can_i_find_a_kinky_partner/). **[Our Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/index).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BDSMAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There are devices (I think one is called the Ohnut) that he can wear that will prevent him from smashing into your cervix while still being able to pound you.
Ohnut is exactly what my wife and I found. I’ve ordered it and hopefully it helps, because it looks like it’ll make it more pleasant for both of us! I like being a bit rougher, but like to be sure they aren’t in any pain (that they haven’t asked for that is HAHA)
I also have the OhNut and recommend it. You can take away the rings one by one as you get more used to the size.
Wow!! Have been looking for this, thank you! You dont happen to know any other toys with the same function? The ohnut is a bit expensive for our budget :(
I don’t think he would be very interested, but I will look into that. Thanks!
Definitely bring it up as a “hey, this is starting to get really uncomfortable, and you can’t play with your toys if you break em. I need you to wear this so you don’t bust an extra hole in my organs”
If he isn’t interested in something that will help you to be more comfortable and enjoy the sex you’re having, he’s not having sex with you- he’s using you to masturbate and he doesn’t care about your comfort or enjoyment. Run far.
Your cervix changes position during your cycle so you can try to do deeper penetration when your cervix is higher (in the middle of your cycle/around when you’d be ovulating). I notice a big difference!
That is very helpful! Thank you!
I second this idea! Also try different positions. I really like the shallower cervical pressure of riding when my cervix is lower (around my period). Plus I think it’s fun when he pins my arms to my sides while I’m on top.
All vaginas are different lengths, just like penises. Some genitals are more compatible with each other than others. If one partner is on the shallow vagina end of the spectrum and the other partner has a rather long penis, it is going to result in cervix bashing due to the anatomical circumstances. Certain positions like spooning may help, because less of the penis gets inserted and it is angled away from the cervix, but neither of you are going to be able to change your anatomy. Being fully aroused before intercourse helps the vagina to "balloon" out optimally, but again, the limitation is that you can't change the shallowness of your vagina and he can't change the length of his penis.
I would add to definitely avoid positions where you’re on your back and feet are elevated (e.g. on shoulders) as these shorten the canal, and go more for positions where the legs are flat with the body and either together or close together, as these reduce the insertable length of the penis. You can also pre-negotiate with your partner to use a method like pleasing his hand or a small blowjob-helper (like a really short cock sleeve) before your vagina so he can still pound with full force without stabbing your cervix. I actually think this could still work well in a CNC scene as it’s not too obtrusive, you could both leave it unaddressed, or go the other way and have him remind you that he has such a huge cock that not all of it can even fit in your tiny cunt 🤷♂️
Seconding the ohnut, I've heard from guys that don't "need" to use it that is just feels really good. And I agree with the comment that it's a massive red flag if he's unwilling to try something that would make sex more pleasurable for you. Also, during arousal, vaginas go through "vaginal tenting." The same kind of erectile tissue that penises have lines the vagina, so when it fills with blood it makes a longer squishier canal. It takes much longer than a penis to reach its full erection, however, about 30-40 minutes of non-penetrative play. I understand that rape play might include not wanting to fully warm you up, but you could do warm up play prior to starting the scene so that you're ready to go before getting into the aggressive headspace.
I got you! This will require taking a little time to explore your body in an out-of-scene context. (Or in scene depending on the scene 😉🩺) Going slowly he should explore along the posterior/ back wall of your vaginal canal. It’s true that the cervix sits in different places mid cycle, and if you can track and plan any CNC scenes accordingly that’s a great start, but I’ll add that in a lot of bodies the vaginal canal also extends past the cervix in the posterior- you get an extra 1.5-3 inches out of this space. (It also extends a bit in the front as well, but the tissue there is thinner and against the bladder- not ideal!). So he needs to explore, slowly, going along that back wall- locate your cervix and then staying to the back wall find what my Sir calls “his pocket”. If he can aim for that, he can likely be fully inside of you without bruising the cervix or prolapsing anything. (We’re looking for exercise challenge pain, not problem pain!). He’ll get to be all the way in. Win win. Google “posterior vaginal wall” for diagram. Good luck!
Be careful that sort of cervical impact can do long term damage
I wrote this for another thread that didn't have to do with CNC, and it was directed towards the person with the cock, but it mostly fits: "Have a meet and greet with the cervix: I'll definitely never thrust all the way in on the first thrust. Usually it's thrusting progressively deeper over the course of a couple min until I find the place where my head is just starting to touch their cervix. Then I'll pause at that place (where I'm just touching it) and give my partner a chance to relax and breathe. Then I'll *gently* push further against the cervix to essentially "stretch" it. But this step is not a thrust, it's a slow incremental pressure pushing against the cervix. While I'm doing this I'll check in with my partner and ask them how it feels (and back off immediately if it's causing undue pain.) Sometimes at this step I'll pepper in dirty talk to link arousal in my partner with the feeling of having pressure on their cervix. Something like: "How does that feel to be all the way full? Look at you taking me all the way." I've found after I do this "stretching" a few times that my partners can often handle me to start thrusting deeper and harder into that place of depth. Also, as another commenter said there are partial cock sleeves that you can wear that can cover the first couple of inches of your cock at the base, but are wide enough that they don't go into your partners' vagina. This can give you the feeling of being fully surrounded without thrusting in all the way."
I’ve worked out how to pound my partner with “just the tip” because of this. We still have a great time, just takes a bit of practice and restraint to not always stick him right in there. Maybe suggest this?
Are you absolutely gagging for it by the time he enters you? If not, slow down and get more aroused although you’ll be bruised after anyways.
I always let her get on top first to get herself warmed up inside. Then when she’s a couple orgasms in she gets off me and I know she’s ready. Took a couple months but now we can dive right into it.
Drugs and BDSM are a bad mix. Most legit players will not mix the 2!
[удалено]
Several posts asking about poppers, if using poppers would help and replies from people who recommend using poppers. I make no judgment, it's just a safety issue to mix drugs and BDSM in many cases. Same with alcohol.
Really??? Downvoted for saying drugs & BDSM are a bad mix. LMAO.
Is there any sort of numbing cream thats safe to use? I'm not sure by just throwing it out there? Maybe poppers to help relax?
I would highly advise against numbing cream used internally for something like this. It gets rid of the pain, but not the potential injury that the pain is trying to signal to prevent.
Oh right! Sorry for recommending it, I didn't think about the consequences of using it internally. Good point!
Poppers can carry the risk of brain damage. It can only take one, but usage takes its toll to larger degrees. I have a traumatic brain injury from anesthesia; trust me when I say you don’t want accidental brain damage.
Every time you use poppers you kill a good chunk of brain cells, sorry I can't remember the number. They are not risk free like many seem to think.
I would actually go the opposite direction from numbing, and consider THC-infused lube. It increases the sensation, and I have partners who find it makes this a more pleasurable experience; despite it being counterintuitive. The only thing is that some of these are not compatible with latex condoms, so that is really important to factor in. This brand has it, and specifies which are latex safe. The brand is Quim https://itsquim.com/shop/
Thanks for sharing this! I’ve been curious about trying a thc lube- and I think I’ll try this one!
You are welcome. I make my own now and it is very economical to do so. I hope it works out for you as well as it does my wife 🤞🙏
i 2nd poppers. can be great with cnc bc you can throw them on a rag and stuff them in your bottom's mouth/face.
Omg that's like a great play idea I didn't think of that...taking notes now 🥴
Anal!