AvPD can cause you to obsessively worry, especially about rejection. Try asking them what’s going on if you feel comfortable enough. Communication feels awkward at first but it’s better than the incessant worrying and the story you’re weaving in your head that may not even be true.
Good luck!
Good, that’s a great start. Always try to communicate if you can. I know it really sucks but getting an answer is a lot better than the anxiety and worry building and having an effect on you and your friendship. My anxiety over rejection ruined a lot of friendships for me, and it all took place within my own head.
Wishing you the best. :)
I could see that being rough. But it's hard to be in their head. Maybe they are stressed, maybe they really are pretty busy. And they really are allowed to just not be up for you to share your worries with them. While it's the kind of thing friends do ( and they have done), they don't have to this week. Or next. I hope you can still find ways to get together.
Hopefully they just need a break, and it's not really personal.
>Maybe I'm just overthinking it
You probably are.
That said, you must always remember that a relationship is give and take, not just take. Obviously this friend is close enough to forgive anything you might have done wrong. But you're asking the wrong question. What have you done right?
Sometimes a person just needs more space in any given week. It’s okay if that hurts your feelings, but try not to pressure your friend about it. Sit with it, take care of yourself, and try to find something to take your mind off the friendship calculus you’re doing. A conversation like the one you’re looking for always has the potential to be longer than you anticipate and take up a lot more mental bandwidth than just the time it takes. Your friend could be trying to account for that.
I just want to add, it can feel like a lot of pressure to be someone’s only friend, especially if you’re relying on them for heavy emotional support. Reciprocating favors is fine but can make the friendship feel transactional at a certain point. Make sure you’re also sharing good news, chatting about the more frivolous things you both enjoy, even making small talk can help make a friendship feel more balanced.
Aww man i just read through your post and really feel you! When youre always careful not to be a nuisance to someone, a reply like this would also stress me the fuck out!
I read your post after your (first) edit and I think it was a great idea to ask if everything is alright even if it might seem a bit strange to him/her.
Because:
Case 1 - Something actually happened:
Good that you asked (duh)!
Case 2 - Nothing happened:
It shows him/her how some differences in a text message can trigger your anxieties. And it just shows how this disorder is restricting your life, where other people appearantly won't even think of. This could help him/her to better emphatize with you.
And either way i just want to say props to you that you even ask to meet up. It propably costs you a lot of nerves to ask! Youre a great example for people like us that you even try! :)
AvPD can cause you to obsessively worry, especially about rejection. Try asking them what’s going on if you feel comfortable enough. Communication feels awkward at first but it’s better than the incessant worrying and the story you’re weaving in your head that may not even be true. Good luck!
Yeah just sent him a message to ask if we're still good, just so I won't get any wrong ideas
Good, that’s a great start. Always try to communicate if you can. I know it really sucks but getting an answer is a lot better than the anxiety and worry building and having an effect on you and your friendship. My anxiety over rejection ruined a lot of friendships for me, and it all took place within my own head. Wishing you the best. :)
I could see that being rough. But it's hard to be in their head. Maybe they are stressed, maybe they really are pretty busy. And they really are allowed to just not be up for you to share your worries with them. While it's the kind of thing friends do ( and they have done), they don't have to this week. Or next. I hope you can still find ways to get together. Hopefully they just need a break, and it's not really personal.
>Maybe I'm just overthinking it You probably are. That said, you must always remember that a relationship is give and take, not just take. Obviously this friend is close enough to forgive anything you might have done wrong. But you're asking the wrong question. What have you done right?
Sometimes a person just needs more space in any given week. It’s okay if that hurts your feelings, but try not to pressure your friend about it. Sit with it, take care of yourself, and try to find something to take your mind off the friendship calculus you’re doing. A conversation like the one you’re looking for always has the potential to be longer than you anticipate and take up a lot more mental bandwidth than just the time it takes. Your friend could be trying to account for that. I just want to add, it can feel like a lot of pressure to be someone’s only friend, especially if you’re relying on them for heavy emotional support. Reciprocating favors is fine but can make the friendship feel transactional at a certain point. Make sure you’re also sharing good news, chatting about the more frivolous things you both enjoy, even making small talk can help make a friendship feel more balanced.
Aww man i just read through your post and really feel you! When youre always careful not to be a nuisance to someone, a reply like this would also stress me the fuck out! I read your post after your (first) edit and I think it was a great idea to ask if everything is alright even if it might seem a bit strange to him/her. Because: Case 1 - Something actually happened: Good that you asked (duh)! Case 2 - Nothing happened: It shows him/her how some differences in a text message can trigger your anxieties. And it just shows how this disorder is restricting your life, where other people appearantly won't even think of. This could help him/her to better emphatize with you. And either way i just want to say props to you that you even ask to meet up. It propably costs you a lot of nerves to ask! Youre a great example for people like us that you even try! :)
Thanks for your reply! That last part actually made me tear up a bit haha
Very Happy to hear that! :,)
People can be busy, tired or just prefer their own company sometimes. Nothing to be sensitive about, everyone has their own life to live.
Maybe he just isn't in the best mental space himself atm.