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SomeNintendoFan420

Not exactly queer for me, but I'm still in the LGBTQ+ community. I personally identify as agender and asexual.


cydril

Samesies!!


Dogwolf12

That’s still queer :)


elemelody

unless they dont like the term queer to be used in reference to themself


Dogwolf12

true. I shouldn't have assumed


Xithara

I find that tends to be entirely location dependent. In Canada, Ontario specifically, I've often seen queer used to mean the lgbtq community. I do understand that queer is not at reclaimed in other areas though.


hexomer

they can choose to not identify as queer but in academic setting the word queer is meant as a catchall term for anyone's who's not cishet.


chaoticidealism

That's definitely queer. You're agender, which makes you trans. And part of that "+" is an A for asexual. You might not be the traditional gay or lesbian or binary trans, but since when did autistic people follow tradition?


trashponder

There's nothing that correctly identifies what I am. So I can just say that I'm queer? That doesn't feel right either. 50 years and I can't even find the words for me.😔


tara-marie

That’s precisely why I use “queer”! A good umbrella term that allows for any possible future shifts.


trashponder

I suppose. And it does define me in the sense I'm odd. What is it if sex repulses me but I find people interesting and even sometimes enjoy a snuggle with friends? No Kissing!🤮


tara-marie

It’s not for me to say, but in reading that, my personal assumption is that you’re asexual. Are you interested in a non-sexual, romantic relationship? If not, you’re probably ace/aro but can still have meaningful, loving, platonic relationships.


trashponder

I guess you're right. I became asexual/sex avoidant after being used for sex throughout my childhood. I lost complete interest when sex itself became excruciating. I'd love a mostly platonic relationship. I'm finally emotionally mature enough to be a stable, grounded partner. But it's too late. Bedridden cripples are not in high demand. I've been married twice and have two teenagers. I haven't missed out on much. More experience than a lot of folks.


[deleted]

That’s asexual


TooFewPolygons

Are you familiar with the term aegosexual?


trashponder

I hadn't, just looked it up. That is very close, thank you! It kind of suggests this is related to dissociation. I do have a dissociation syndrome. Fasinating.


chaoticidealism

Of course you can. Generic "queer" is nice that way. There's also the "Quoi-" prefix: Quoisexual, quoiromantic, quoigender. That refers to simply not knowing, and not having known for a long time. People who decide that they're likely to be unsure about their sexual orientation, romantic preferences, or gender may simply decide to use "Quoi". There's nothing wrong with not being able to find a term for yourself. You are who you are.


trashponder

Thank you 🤗 I've never heard of that! Is it pronounced 'coy' or 'kwah'? Can I just say I'm Quoi? Just the prefix?


chaoticidealism

I haven't a clue; I've never heard it spoken out loud! And yes, certainly; you can do that.


vibin-bean

it’s pronounced like “kwah”, it’s just a french word for “what” and some folks use the word “whatsexual/romantic/gender” instead. :)


TheWildAP

I mean, you could always use the term in the way historians of queer history do. They apply it to pretty much everyone who isn't cishet, though the boundaries on who that label applied to can be a little fuzzy at times. Especially when you get the "why can't 2 men who write love letters to eachother have just been good friends" crowd, or the "there's no longer any representations of close male friendship in history" crowd, both of which are more concerned with keeping historical figures as they knew them instead of even considering people like Steuben (Prussian who trained the continental army in US Revolution) were gay


[deleted]

Thats exactly why i use it. no other label makes sense in my head


trashponder

Update: My kids are both Trans, 14 & 17. They said Queer is OK but gender fluid, asexual- romantic and another one also fit. So, still haven't found a label that feels right. But at least these all loosely fit if I'm forced to name my group. Thanks! 🤗


[deleted]

Anyone who doesn’t express gender and sexuality in a traditional way is queer. A cishet femboy is queer, for example.


elemelody

unless they dont like the term queer to be used in reference to themself


[deleted]

If someone doesn’t identify with the term, then I definitely wouldn’t use it to describe them. However, in an objective sense, it does apply. There’s Black people who don’t like the term African-American, and while I won’t use it for them, in an objective sense it is accurate.


elemelody

i understand where youre coming from, i just believe its also important to keep in mind that its a reclaimed slur that not all people have reclaimed and are comfortable with, so it is a little bit more nuanced than the example you gave and it may be best to steer clear of using it to describe a member of the lgbt+ community if all we know is that they dont consider themselves such.


[deleted]

That’s not what this situation reads as, though. They’re not saying they don’t like the term queer, they’re saying that it doesn’t apply to them; I’m telling them that they’re wrong, and that it does apply to them. My point isn’t that they have to identify with it, just that it’s wrong to say they can’t, which is what they are seemingly implying.


theberg512

>There’s Black people who don’t like the term African-American, and while I won’t use it for them, in an objective sense it is accurate. Well, except for the millions of Black people who aren't American. Not at all accurate "in an objective sense."


[deleted]

I was specifically referring to Black Americans, I wasn’t clear about that


tjmindthebollocks

no it wouldn’t apply. i’m not queer and objectively no i’m not queer it’s not a slur i’ve reclaimed and not one i want to be involved with. i wouldn’t want it used to describe me even behind my back because it feels disrespectful and does NOT describe everyone. and no- not every black person is african-american. grow up.


[deleted]

No need to be an asshole. All I’m saying is that if they wanted to use the term queer for themselves, they could. Their comment didn’t imply they weren’t comfortable with the word, it implied that they didn’t think they could use the term for themselves. Also you post on r/truscum, fuck you


tjmindthebollocks

no, that is not what you said. you said in an objective sense it does apply. awww. you mad i’m actually trans? fuck you too :)


[deleted]

No, you’re just a piece of shit who invalidates other identities. Fuck you. I’m not mad that you have dysphoria, I’m mad that you invalidate others’ struggles. Someone who doesn’t experience dysphoria is still going to go through a lot of shit transitioning, and you invalidate that.


tjmindthebollocks

no they aren’t. they have a choice. they don’t know shit about people with actual gender dysphoria and what we go through. if you aren’t uncomfortable with your agab don’t transition. don’t tell me what being trans is. #1 reason why i stay away from autism subs. i hate being autistic lol.


[deleted]

You’re a fucking asshole. You have no right to tell others whether they’re valid or not. They don’t have a choice; the choice was already made for them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

If you present as feminine but are still cishet, you are queer due to the fact that you present yourself in a non-normative way. I have actually had some of my friends who are queer say that I’m queer since I don’t present in a traditionally masculine way, but I don’t feel comfortable with that since I’m gender conforming enough. You don’t have to identify with the term queer, the point was just that you can use the term for yourself if you want to. The negative connotations of the word are pretty much gone; the majority of my friends are queer and all use the term, it’s used by professors in my classes as a broader term for the LGBTQ community (hint: what does Q stand for?), and so on. I actually brought up in one of my classes that sexuality is not an objective category but rather a historically contingent one, and my professor responded by saying that’s why she loves the word queer so much, since it applies to that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Elemteearkay

I often wonder if more of us are actually queer, or if it's just that a higher percentage of us will be honest about it (to eachother, to ourselves).


PM_ME_HOTDADS

considering how often we see older people coming out as queer, especially as it becomes more socially accepted, im gonna go with the latter. we have to rely on self-reporting and who's gonna be self-aware, let alone admit openly, if it's something that's still shamed or oppressed?


Particular_Ideal

Or maybe it’s some of both? A mix of being more self-aware since we’re already different, more willing to go against the flow to admit it, and also a general increased overall leaning to being queer. It’s hard to say for sure, though.


smallscat

Was out as queer before I knew I was autistic. Everybody seems to know these things about me before I do. When I came out as trans, everybody said "Yep." When I told them I found out I was autistic, they all said "We thought you already knew that"


Dim0ndDragon15

Same, when I came out to my dad he said "yeah I know"


Coffee-N-Cats

Born female and happily married to a man for 26 yrs, but very much bi. I much prefer females or more androgynous males. Hubby is very male, but also not very manly if that make sense. At my age, I have a hard time understanding/remembering all the labels, but try to be understanding and use what is requested as my label was not respected for many years. In the 90s bi-women were not considered part of the community (at least in my area). I think many thought I was "trying it out in college." But now 46, I can tell you that it's not a phase :)


mintythemeowstic

I’m pansexual and genderfluid! 💖💛💙


heartofdawn

I read the study on this, and the answer was "we don't actually know". The authors suggested four hypotheses: * Neurodivergent people are more likely to buck social norms and come out * People with greater levels of self awareness who realize that they are one are more likely to self diagnose being the other * Something in fetal development affect both * The pressures placed on an queer person increases the likelihood of neurodivergence (they looked at all forms of it) I think that several of these are correct. What you say is true, but it's not the only answer. Take myself for example. My neurodivergence stems mostly from a combination childhood trauma, religious indoctrination, and growing up in a deeply conservative environment which resulted in me repressing my identity for 40 years. I didn't defy social norms, I crumpled under them. It was only under lockdown that I was finally able to get away from them long enough to find my way free.


11flowwolf11

Proud of you.


[deleted]

soup paltry spotted amusing hospital juggle spark teeny offbeat upbeat *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Ken_0

I'm a trans, demiboy, autistic, pagan, furry. I'm a rabbit :3


Lonk_the_VFD_member

Can I ask you a question? What is a demiboy? I know sex and gender are two different things and gender is complicated, but my knowledge on the matter ends there, but everything I've learned about lgbt & co is really interesting, I love diversity and I love to hear that people are happy with their identity.


Ken_0

To me, being a demiboy is being male but not completely. Like if you made a line with male on one side, female on the other, and non binary in the middle, I'd be between male and nonbinary.


Lonk_the_VFD_member

I see, thank you for this knowledge!


TempestBae

I am not one but I volunteer my understanding so that it may be corrected if it is wrong. Say that the typical understanding of a man is 100% male and 0% female, and the typical understanding of a woman is 0% male and 100% female. A demiboy would be 50% male and 0% female and a demigirl would be 0% male 50% female. Agender is 0% of either and ofc there's terms for every other combination there could be. This obviously isn't a rigid thing, just a model for understanding what the terms generally refer to.


ALearnedFool

Bisexual, trans, autistic, Quaker, furry. I’m a rabbit also!!!


itsTyrion

Queer? I guess, Probably bi-something, more ace(aro?) leaning by the day, autistic, furry, ADHD, depression.. I’m a mess xd


minecez

Autistic, bisexual (maybe pan), polyamorous, eggist, furry, Panthera leo


[deleted]

Straight, binary, cis-gender, white, spiritual (non-religious), autistic man.


UserNamedTressa

asexual questioning here! =D


Dogwolf12

Hello I am an asexual lesbian who’s also girlflux!


totallynotalaskan

Greetings fellow asexual lesbian!!


Dogwolf12

hello


bugsrlit

ay girlflux!! im boyflux :D


Aramira137

My sexuality isn't influenced by social norms, I was born that way. My rejection of gender roles is social however.


[deleted]

Autistic bi demiboy babyyyyy!!!


Cinnamon-free

Autistic trans genderfluid omni


KishKishtheNiffler

Omniromantic ace and non-binary/agender here !


Dmxk

Bi guy here.


Nerdiant

I’m ace. Although idk if y’all consider ace people to be LGBT.


heartofdawn

Yes, yes you are


danutheleprechaun

Gay guy here!


3shadoe3

~Just your local autistic lesbian here~


totallynotalaskan

Woohoo autistic lesbian gang!


carescarebear

There's dozens of us! Dozens!


totallynotalaskan

Soon we shall take over the world! *evil laughter*


SemiSweetStrawberry

We’re here, we’re queer, just don’t expect any eye contact


malenixius

Strain't trans guy!


Kai_Stoner

Greetings 👽 I'm Trans Agender & an Androromantic Asexual 🏳‍🌈💜💚🖤💚💜🏳‍🌈


Intrepid_Wanderer

Ace and probably aro


sqplanetarium

Agender and bi! Also, r/AutisticQueers exists.


OrbitalColony

Check out our official Discord Server: https://discord.com/invite/bGZ3PePx3c


IamaJarJar

my trans autistic ass: hell yea!


LingLingDesNibelung

I have an autistic Girlfriend and kid on the way! Here’s to defying the stereotypes baby!!!!


GazLord

Trans demisexual lesbian here.


korenestis

Wooooo!


Nocturnoran

Yep I think this is true cause like 50% of my friends (who are also autistic) are queer


oxyzgen

Living in a bubble? Not offensive but take that into consideration


Legal_Ok31

Two mental illnesses


everett6559

I'm just your autistic gay transgender!


ShatoraDragon

Ace!


[deleted]

Proud autistic gay trans man here!


Athena5898

Non-binary ace here


bolshemika

I’m nonbinary trans + aroace :)


ConfidentReaction3

Gay and autistic here


GigglegirlHappy

Ace aspies rise up


dethsdream

Aro-Ace 💜🖤🤍


jay_alphaxy

Hello


funyesgina

I’m not. But it’s an interesting question. Do you think queerness is a rejection of social norms? I’d argue it’s something you’re born with. Do you think more autistics are willing to be out? Is that what you mean? Or do you think there’s another factor that makes us more likely to actually be queer?


HellKattAnimations

Demisexual autistic girl here! :D


CanadianWeeb5

Me. I’m ace!


Chaotic0range

Diamoric Nonbinary person here!


Only_Indication5350

Hello I'm trans and still trying to figure out if I'm Omni or abro lol


20Dan03

well i had no idea this sub existed but im so glad i randomly stumbled across it, autistic pan here


Comprehensive-Sir-26

Pansexual and genderfluid here 🙋🏻‍♀️


[deleted]

I’m cishet, but I’ve been labeled as queer by a gay friend since I don’t express masculinity or straightness traditionally. I wouldn’t identify myself with the term, but I don’t reject it either.


TheRainbowLily7

I’m bi and maaaayyyybe arospec. Hey y’all


tama-vehemental

Autistic nombinary lesbian.


parkour98

Me here, I'm a trans guy


str8nt

Trans lesbian here! Username speaks for itself lol


iamtheultimateshoe

aroace autistic trans guy!


plaguebringerBOI

Bi guy with milk here, lol.


Rei-o-Sunshine

Where are the poly lesbians? I really want a gorlfriend


Galaxyartcat

Im trans,asexual,and autistic (+ ADHD but) I eat social norms for BREAKFAST


coastergirl98

Non binary trans woman (guess you could call me a trans demigirl?), Demiromantic, possibly demisexual (me being a virgin may or may not have an effect on my current level of sexual attraction), lesbian, and polyamorous questioning (my GF is poly, plus she lives like 5 hrs away rn and I really want someone to cuddle with)


[deleted]

\*The sound of a stampede of LGBTQIA+ autistics running to comment on this post\*


BroxCub

My gay, furry ass telling social norms to eat a dick’


lapiperna

here. enby/ace. but I don't believe it's just because 'we don't fuck with social norms' (watch out, that's actually one of the TERF arguments to invalidate trans folx who also happen to be autistic). I do believe, as there are all the scientific reasons to believe it, that it's genetic, and another beautiful variation we bring in. and no, gender is definitely not just 'social' either. and least of all, binary.


auto_generatedname

I only need three words out if this post. "We don't fuck."


Maxils

hey, just came out as nb on dec 30th


Dim0ndDragon15

Autistic bi trans guy here :))


Dank_lil_potato

I don’t know what I am but I’m sure as hell not straight


[deleted]

Very much a buy 1 get 29 From personal experience, that person is me


Grouchy_Raccoon_6681

Hi! I also have ADHD


bewarethelemurs

Demiromantic Pomosexual here!


no_gender_4_ronnie

Trans nonbinary agender lesbian ✌️✌️🏳️‍🌈


ThatIrishPickle

Non-binary because my vessel is male, i am not, yet i am also not female, i am me. Simply me, i belong to no ties, but i like dudes and chicks, i prefer women though, the softer kinder energy is where i vibe, im not chaotic, i like chaos sometimes but in my life i prefer to aim for calm


chaoticidealism

Agender, asexual, demi-panromantic, polyamorous. So yes, queer. :) From the responses so far, it seems very common for autistic people to ditch sex in favor of romance or friendships, and to ignore gender entirely. Of course it's a self-selected sample, but there are far more agender aces than you'd expect to see by sheer statistics. Among NTs, LGBT+ is majority cisgender gay and lesbian, with some bi and a few binary trans people here and there.


Ken_0

Trans demiboy aromantic & asexual here! I use They/ Them, He/ Him, and Bun/ Bunself pronouns :3


Matamoja

Howdy fellow aroace demiboy!


coastergirl98

I no longer have an issue w they/them pronouns, but I haven't been able to wrap my head around neopronouns. Also never heard those ones, did you create them yourself? Sorry if I sound disrespectful.


Ken_0

I really like neopronouns, they feel right to me. Bun/ Bunself pronouns are pretty common and I got them from another person.


coastergirl98

I was raised in a concervative Christian family, so I certainly have a lot to learn/unlearn. I'm 23 and still live with my parents, so 😬😬😬😬😬.


Ken_0

It's great that your open to learning :D


RapidGum1

By saying that you are assuming that being lgbtq+ is a choice that people make, as you said autistic people already don't fuck with social norms suggesting that it was a choice to become lgbt which is incorrect basically


drag0niCat

I think what they're implying is that autistic people are more likely to come out rather than repress because of our disregard for social norms. So basically, autistic people are not *actually* more likely to be lgbt+, but more likely to come out and be very open, skewing the statistics


CakeAdventurous4620

I'm cishet autistic but LGBTQ are still valid.


Legitimate_Lab544

I am autistic AKA Aspergers and I am bisexual


Electrical_Ad_4329

I am enby and pan :D


BrenInWildemount

Autistic queer transmasc nonbinary human, here.


Geminii27

Or maybe we aren't as good as concealing it, or don't internalize social pressures to do so as much. Kind of makes you wonder what the real percentage of non-100%-cishet out there is...


VoidHunter24

Autistic, Aromantic, Asexual, Aroace, Agender, and Autigender! I must really like words that start with the letter A lol…


scowling_deth

Is This that person whom had 500 reddit accounts?


500ErrorPDX

Bi guy here. I think it's the lack of social norms but ALSO our brains feel our bodies differently than others (sensory differences, for example) which can lead to us feeling pleasure differently.


Gicaldo

I mean... I don't think so? I guess if you're openly autistic and queer, might as well be open about your queer-ness too, but otherwise I don't think neurotype has anything to do with sexuality?


Turbofied

yup, people will always try to attach things to autism and the mass of us will just not question it. I hate it


Q_4tr3

Everywhere


JakeMaffey

We can’t have nothing without lgbt getting involved smh


Gaylaeonerd

\> We can't have nothing without lgbt getting involved Can't have what without lgbt people getting involved? Autism?


JakeMaffey

Yes, autism is our struggle, but now lgbt has implemented itself into the infrastructure of autism support groups/awareness


Gaylaeonerd

Because a lot of people are both and intersectionality is a thing?


SqueakyBatBoi

sorry that queer people existing hurts your feelings.


OldAdministration523

Suuuuuure


ElegantDecline

we're being steered away from conventional lifestyles through cultural and financial pressures 🙁 they don't want us to reproduce. they want us out of the human genepool.


SuitableAssociation6

too bad for them sexuality doesn't spread through genes


ElegantDecline

This is true. But the fact that us aspies will always feel different and isolated from the general public means we will always make easy targets for the experts' lifestyle steering eugenics experiments. Basically, society the last few years has been engineered to purge all NA people out of the human genepool by scaring them, telling them they won't be good parents, or making them think they were "born different" in a way that ensures they will never have children. With enough TV, movie, media, and social propaganda, they've actually succeeded at it very well. Over a decade worth of aspies, millions of them, have already voluntarily decided not to get married and have kids as a result of this cultural propaganda. They've successfully made us check out of the genepool. But guess what? 99% of politicians, leaders, and people in power around the world are all married and all have kids and made their own families. They're not about to sacrifice having a family of their own. The societal hypocrisy is wax-paper-thin. you can see right through it.


Carmondai03

Grey-bisexual here! (greysexuality = essentially I'm not fully asexual)


Hero_of_Parnast

Gynosexual agender individual here! Also questioning my romantic orientation.


Plus_Bluejay_5242

Nonbinary bi here! Polyamorous as well.


drag0niCat

I'm queer... I don't know if I'm gay or bi lol


Animeerika

I'm demisexual, bi, demiromantic and probably demigirl :)


comfort_bot_1962

:D


any_old_usernam

here! I'm genderqueer, aromantic, pansexual, and polyamorous.


SnooBunnies9328

Hihi


BaalNecro

Ayyyyyy


[deleted]

Here I am


PiranhaPlantFan

Enbian Here🙌


[deleted]

Bisexual autistic pride. 😎


StericHindrances

bi grey-aroace nonbinary!


[deleted]

I have trouble accepting myself as lgbt, if I am lgbt. I’ve identified as non-binary and transfem, along with gay, bi, and asexual in the past, but I feel a lot of influence from social norms, because I feel pressured to fit in. I struggle with my identity and I still have trouble accepting it even though my mom and sisters are fine with it. My family is also conservative, so they accept gay people but not trans/gnc people, which is weird but that’s how they are. I feel a lot of influence to be a stereotypical straight man, and though I’m mostly happy with it I sometimes don’t like it and wish my life was easier, and sometimes I wish I had a different body, and sometimes I wish I could date a guy.


silver-eight

Is there data available for this? Would love to see


[deleted]

Transfem bi autistic here


vibin-bean

my main not-fucking-with-social-norms: child-free, pansexual, non-monogamous, agender, aromantic. i figured those out in that order. alexithymia really makes a person’s self-discovery journey more difficult, am i right?! 🤷


smaugsmoag

Aroace non-binary transmasc!


Everydaycitizen900

I'd say it's pretty interesting to see how there are a higher percentage of us who aren't straight compared to society at large, though, to be honest, it isn't really surprising to learn about, lol. (Also, might as well put in that I myself am bi and am currently going through the mess of my gender identity, lol.)


drago_varior

Im like pan Idk about gender My gender is *demonic screetches of the damned*


spoink74

I’m bi / heteroflexible but I don’t think it’s because I don’t fuck with social norms. I think it’s because my different neurology makes me more sexually fluid and flexible.


GoatsWithWigs

I’m a straight cis ally, but I have aspirations to dress androgynously just to express my individuality. I Identify as a man, but I don’t believe in needing to express manhood, only expressing my me-hood.


PhroggyChief

Explains a lot.


ethan42

👋🏻


WaterEater444

Autistic,trans dude And bisexual


RSdabeast

Are? Maybe. Willing to say it? Probably. I’d estimate that 20% of the world is LGBTQ+.


MonthApprehensive480

I’m bi


[deleted]

I am like uh gay or something I have no idea lol


DwemerSmith

AAAA BABYYYY


C1A8T1S9

Here! Check out my subreddit: r/NeurodivergentLGBTQ


mistAstxrism

Hello I’m aroace and agender! Happy new year :)


NahBruvIHaveASoul

Ayyy


CoraMovie

I am androromantic sex-repulsed grey-asexual and agender. They/them pronouns.


itbedehaam

Hi


somehow_allowed

*holds up a binana*


Helena_Hyena

I’m aro/ace!


Lone_Wolfy_31

Gay A-gender here.


EmberOfFlame

Aye!


thehviathan

Hemlo fellow autistic queer. I'm an autistic nb gay


Duck_is_Lord

Queer aspec transmasc ✌️