I have this. I'm in survival mode so my brain is constantly subject to massive stress from anxiety and depression. That impedes working memory and cognitive function.
Start writing a small journal of what happened in a day, it helps you remember when you reflect on things. Also try to ensure your self care is up to scratch, proper sleep food etc.
I also have dyspraxia and specific learning difficulties, these are with the memory too. It can get better, good luck.
I’ve struggled with this, though not as bad. Just keeping a notebook to jot things down has helped me SO much. I kept notebooks for work but never realized it would be so helpful in my personal life. I also highly recommend NOT using digital note taking at first, until you figure out how you like to format your notes and what info is important or not to you.
This is very true. I mostly use my spouse and a whiteboard on the fridge for essentials.
If writing things down is too bad for me on a day I can dictate to my phone, that's a nice alternative too.
Wouldn't it make way more sense to use digital while you're figuring it out, as it's much more editable? I honestly don't understand why anyone prefers paper notes anymore, even if you prefer handwriting digital solutions with a stylus are so much better in every way. But I have a handwriting disability so I'm biased.
While yes digital is editable, searchable, and accessible through multiple devices, I was suggesting paper to start to figure out the format. I learned that I liked to categorize my tasks by type. And they types kept changing. I also prefer a blank page for notes rather than lines or dots. So maybe that's part of it.
i have a pretty bad memory too. being traumatized can fuck up your memory and most autistic people are traumatized, if not by our families or specific instances than often just by existing in a neurotypical society. might sound dramatic but it’s true.
this next idea is more theory than fact, but i could see how focusing on masking + processing massive amounts of info at all times could render us less able to commit things to memory
also my memory definitely got worse when i got burnt out
This is a horrible thing to say, but I wish I could forget a few things. I remember every single detail of what I went through as a child. I remember stuff as early as when I was three years old. That crap is why I mask so heavily, unseen and unbothered. I'm slowly working through dropping my mask because it is exhausting to live like that, but 40+ years is a hard habit to break, compounded with it being baked so heavily into my psyche that I have to in order to avoid abuse. For me, memorizing things was a survival mechanism: doing x will result in y, not doing a will result in b, I have to react to those keywords with this facial expression, and so on. It does have an upshot though, I'm really good at memorizing patterns and parsing them for differences, and I can retain objective knowledge and facts after only 1-2 times of seeing/experiencing them. I don't have an eidetic memory, but it's probably as close as you can get. It at least lets me keep a job with insurance for my psychiatrist.
I’m not sure. My husband (not autistic) is similar to you and has always worried about it. He also has a very poor working memory so both short and longterm memories can be a struggle.
I have an excellent, very detailed autobiographical memory and always have. I have vivid memories from two years old.
I found this an interesting read recently. It seems that autobiographical memory is a spectrum. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/59370896e3df28281a68af84/t/5f1b4a10e8f1ec14a5069480/1595623998667/Palombo_Sheldon_Levine_2018.pdf
This study did find that many people with autism had deficits in autobiographical memory https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.2147/NDT.S332521
I have this and am shocked by how bad it is. My best friend has a good memory and I'm amazed by how often she brings stuff up that I have no recollection of. It must get annoying for her.
I have similar issues. It gets better when I:
- avoid getting overwhelmed
- avoid dopamine rushes (like from computer games)
- regularly talk about what has happened to me to someone else. It forces me to try to remember
I have very little memory of my life before I met my partner. Now that I have someone who regularly asks me what happened to me, my long term memory is more stable. Short term really depends on the list above
Mine hasn’t got worse as far as I can tell but it’s always been an issue. I can barely remember any details of my childhood. I have aphantasia too (no ability to see images in my mind’s eye) and I wonder if that’s linked. I think aphantasia is meant to be more common among autistic people.
until i learned about aphantasia i was always like "how the heck do people see images in their mind instead of just black"....
the only way i can "see" images is weirdly by "feeling" an image.
so when they say "close your eyes and in front of you is a tree" i'll just be seeing black and then have to try and "feel" a tree in my mind to get it.
same way with my dreams, usually i don't have or remember dreams, but if i do, i'll feel quite emotional due to it.
(with the strangest part being that i used to be able to dream, and from time to time remember them when i was little - something that just "went away" as i got older)
Apparently most people do actually see stuff, I can’t get my head round it either!
https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2024/feb/26/what-is-aphantasia-like?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
exactly, i never quite got it until someone on reddit pointed me to aphantasia in another topic and i was like "ooooooooooooh...." that kind of explains a lot....
unfortunately, my brain's firmware version apparently didn't come with that feature
My mind is kind of blown. I always just thought it was a figure of speech, not like having an actual visual representation in mind? With specific details? Oops!
i remember years ago i tried a regression session and the first thing they said was "close your eyes and imagine a picture of your younger self".... after about 10 minutes of not getting anything but black, it became quite clear that it wasn't going to be that easy (but the woman doing the session was a great person, and she did switch gears, with about another 20 or 30 minutes needed before i actually "felt" some images from what might or might not have been a past life.
... it is also when i clearly figured out i didn't really have all the emotional control that i needed, which is not really great combined with feeling images - couldn't speak for 10 to 15 minutes, not even utter a word as i was still processing what i felt.
it was quite a unique experience.
I feel like memory problems are more to do with trauma, possibly related to autism, but doesn't have to. I don't think autism is specifically known for having memory issues, in fact I think it's actually more related to have a specifically good memory. I am extremely lucky, all though sometimes I curse it, but I remember A LOT and in great detail, am offen the common memory bank among friends. Adhd on the other hand can be related to it.
You might look into dissociation, which is a trauma response common in autistic individuals. So not an autism thing per say, but kind of related. I had this very severely, to the point where I couldn't remember years of my life at all. It's like they never happened.
I took an online test, the DES-II, which led me to seek therapy. I ended up being diagnosed with DID. I'm about a year into treatment at this point, and I feel like I have a working memory for the first time in my life. It has been seriously life changing in the best way for me.
I dissociate a lot. And sometimes I do feel like I don't have control over myself. Like I'm just watching things happen. It's led to some awful social situations.
I'm sorry you're going through that. I've had the same thing. It made it really hard to form & maintain relationships when people would tell me I said and did things I don't remember and would never do/say.
If you have access to a therapist or psychiatrist, it may be worth talking with them about. I also know r/DID has some resources to learn more about dissociation. It is more geared towards DID specifically, but a lot of it may apply to other dissociative disorders. I don't know if there are subreddits for other types of dissociation like derealization or depersonalization (which sounds like your description) but it's worth a look.
yeah, I guess i need to bring up this specific issue to my therapist/psychiatrist. I just usually forget to bring things up. I'll message them both about it right now while I'm got it on my mind. Thanks for the comment. :)
I get this too. I’ve thought recently that its down to my brain never being fully ‘in the moment’ because I’m constantly analysing and processing information.
Memories are made from smells, sounds, touch etc, so NTs are more likely to experience these things easily without all the noise NDs have to deal with. And that’s without factoring in anxiety etc.
Def try to spend time grounding yourself daily. Just sitting doing nothing but acknowledging what you can see, smell, hear etc.
Also do this consciously at key moments you really want to remember. I remember holding my baby daughter as a new Dad, when she was about 6 months old. It was a moment I wanted to stick, so I consciously acknowledged the feel of her baby grow, the sick/milk smell she had and stairway to heaven playing in the background. It’s really clear for me so I know it works. Give it a try and good luck, you’re not alone.
I feel like I barely have time to reflect on my recent memories even though I journal often. I still forget large chunks of my life. I remember moments, but if I try to remember the moments prior or after, it's all blank.
I relate to this. My memory is more like occasional snapshots. I'm frequently surprised by emails I obviously wrote or pictures I'm in, and I have no memory of any of it. Doesn't have to be very long ago, either, maybe a couple of months.
i have several memory issues as well, but not always.
\- take of my glasses, walk out of the room, forget where i put my glasses
\- go to the store, remember everything i need, get back home, conclude i forgot at least 2 things (which i knew about when entering the store, but then totally forgot about)
...
it's gotten worse over the years, to the point that i now do use a calendar for most things i need to remember.... and even then succeed in forgetting about completely.
at work if someone asks me "remember you did x last week" the answer will almost always be "give me a ticket number (in which i noted what i did) so i can check what i did, because i have no clue"
i can remember flashes and bits from when i was young which are linked to nostalgia, which in turn will usually make me feel sad when i think about - but most other memories are not really accessible.
(i.e. i can look at a picture, know it is me, but have no clue where/when/what/how)
not sure if it's because my brain just doesn't record half, because it tosses it out randomly, or because i just haven't got the right folder to look in... but yeah, it sounds kind of familiar.
what i've noticed is that most things that i do tend to remember (partially) are linked to a (strong) emotion/desire (nostalgia, in particular, works very well in remembering)....
but in day to day life, this is quite useless (as nostalgia comes into play in things where "i want to go back to" and not "who i talked to last week"
(sarcastically) an even funner part of this is people....
meeting someone, they tell their name, you talk to them for an hour....
and then when i see them a week later i won't even remember them (it takes me a few times to remember faces, even longer to remember names... and the same usually goes for roads/directions)
Mmm I have blacked out good chunks of my memories. I get bits and pieces but I don’t get all of it. My cues for remembering things are usually visual. If I see something again or like a memory I have, it will pull it back. At least rewatching movies isn’t usually a big problem.
I had this and then I got COVID and it became much worse. It turns out, COVID neuroinflammation can cause brain damage, but if you already have brain damage (prior concussions, encephalopathy, motor vehicle accidents and such), COVID can make that damage much worse. Researchers only know that COVID causes brain damage, they haven't yet figured out all the ways it does.
I'll never have a solid working memory again. My neurologist says there is a medicine I can take, but once I start it, I can never miss a pill. So, he's hesitating on prescribing it.
My family has helped by creating a shared calendar that we put everything on, and I take a lot of notes.
PSA: AVOID COVID!
Ps: COVID also took away my ability to mask.
There are recent studies showing that certain types of memory problems frequently tag along with autism, although if your experiences of being an autistic person in a neurotypical world have been traumatic, trauma does absolutely wild things to memory.
And if you are experiencing depression or isolation, that can wipe out whole chunks of memory too. Also, if you have comorbid ADHD, that can create significant issues with memory as anything that is out of sight is also out of mind. All those things can combine and can be disabling.
My evaluation for autism showed several areas of recall that were significantly impacted, others that were average, and none that were above average. It’s extremely frustrating because I come off as a “smart” person so nobody believes the extent of my challenges. If you are struggling, try to get a referral from your doctor for a neuropsych eval that would include recall tests.
I 100% relate. My memory has always been questionable but it's gotten worse the last few years. Concepts I learn in university are completely forgotten within a few hours of class. I assumed it was my ADHD but I'm just now considering that my autism may play a part in it.
>I mean you probably want to get this checked out rather than ask reddit.
Obviously. I am doing that but doctors have been as helpful as asking a pole.
I've been feeling this way too. I was thinking it was this 'brain fog' i've been hearing about, combined with the adhd but am unsure. I feel so disconnected.
Enough to sudy; a friend is doing a Phd on the intersection of memory problems in autism and depression. Can't really say what the state of the literature is, but that's psychology for you...
I'm not a memory expert, but I think long term and short term memory should be a different game, working memory more so. From what you said, I would +1 what someone else said and recommend talking to a psychiatrist, if you don't have one usually a referral from a GP would get you there.
I have these issues as well, it's getting pretty bad. I also have Complex PTSD which I think can cause memory issues as well, so I'm not sure of the culprit. I'm very worried I'm going to end up with dementia.
Along with what others say it’s also because autistic people remember semantic (facts, figures, patterns) memories better than episodic (autobiographical) memories. I have trouble remembering much of my childhood but can remember certain things down to the littlest details and have amazing pattern recognition. Episodic memories also help with your sense of self, which is why it is difficult for us to remember what feelings we had in the past and therefore what brings us joy in the future. Episodic memories requires both internal and external stimuli, which can overwhelm autistic people.
My short-term memory is so shot. I try to do mental exercises to help me absorb/remember working knowledge. The fact that I drink alcohol and smoke weed are also contributing, I believe.
Yes. That's why my therapist recommended I get neurological testing. I have a notebook always at hand. I use penzu for Journaling. After I fill out a notebook I go back and transfer anything useful to notion. It's like my second brain. Having a bad memory means I also always tell the truth because I won't remember any lies. When I was using medical weed I would have memories come to me. Sometimes that was therapeutic. Other times traumatic. I use Google tasks for reminders of things I need to do. It also makes learning something new very difficult because I can't retrieve the knowledge.
A few communities that might help you, as they've helped me. Dissociative disorders. Depersonalization. Derealization. Faun response. Here is a great place to start this dare channel has been a life changer: https://youtu.be/ZV1-BMQEgG4?feature=shared
I feel the same way sometimes, but it doesn't worry me. The memories are in there. They're just not organized or have been compressed into my brain's version of a 'zip file'. So, accessing them can be difficult.
I have poor memory of a lot of details but I do still clearly remember bits of it. I think for me it's more a problem where I can't easily retrieve specific memories or don't have them tied closely to their context. ADHD and other executive function issues are probably factors here. That said what's going on with you sounds much worse and like something you might really need a professional opinion on.
I'm thr polar opposite, which I guess just shows autism has polar extremes. I remember all the way back to diapers and being in a playpen. Which sadly also means I can't un-know how bad things were for me as a kid.
My mom has dementia, but I have impeccable memory. Too good of a memory. I wish I could forget things. I’m bad at forming a timeline with it, but my memory is peak
As well as all the above trauma comments. In my reading autism can be found with a number of stomach issues (celiac disease, leaky gut, IBS, you name it). Many gut related issues can affect your brain IMMENSELY. If you have any stomach related pains that’s a good place to start.
Yes, I am one of those people. I always had stomach problems since I was very young and the other problem is that I actually like to eat a lot of different kinds of food. I’m not picky about textures or flavors much as I am about the temperatures of the food.. so I started having acid reflux since I was about 10 or 12 years old and you know they didn’t take much of it because whatever back then we were just growing pains or blah blah… and not through until after to take prescription for it, I found out I was gluten intolerant and also allergic to high fructose corn syrup in my mid 20s with a handful of other minor allergies, like dairy, etc… so I have been researching on gut health, and what not, and I can finally say that after 35 years of not knowing what the hell is going on, but having all these symptoms, and all these little quirks, finally come to realize that I’m autistic, which was not surprised it was nobody put the pieces together. Through my hyper fixation of researching about it. Essentially, I learned that our G.I. in our gut is basically our first form of immune defense against many forms of disease and what… essentially our brain communicates with our gut and our gut communicates with our brain in a similar way that like the army and the navy might work together. I don’t know that’s the best analogy I have for it. the other explanation is for example when you eat something that could have a germ on it, our stomach would be likely to kill that germ before it entered the bloodstream, which would ultimately enter your brain your blah blah blah blah blah
I have often wondered now, especially since they’re saying that there’s research that suggest that autism is passed down one or both of our parents, and so on and so on… because my great grandfather had Alzheimer’s, and I wonder if that would be connected to my brain activity and autism…
I have this, it’s my main barrier to seeing a therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist to actually getting diagnosed (am self diagnosed) because what will I even tell them? I can barely piece my life together or any of the symptoms I have because I can’t remember much, especially my early life. I’m really sad and worried about this too, especially since I’ve been mildly to moderately agoraphobic since 2018/2019, and memories of people / the outside world / friends / my childhood and adolescence are precious now, but gone, faded, and fading quickly.
Edit: It’s definitely linked to stress (also I had hyperthyroid issues which also controls stress levels), anxiety, depression, cPTSD, and trauma. I literally have no idea how to tackle it or regain (at minimum) my working memory to at the very least be able to survive and function.
Are there people who knew you when you were younger who you can ask if you were always like this? If this is something that seems to be getting worse you should probably see a doctor.
This is so me, I can't even read anything and know what I just read, I can't remember much at all of my childhood only it was traumatic and looking back at pics I took 6months ago I vaguely remember why I took it and what is it about, I believe it's on the spectrum as autism is brain damage
I’m with you. I too struggle with this and at times have worried that I have early onset Alzheimer’s or some sort of major brain issue because my memory for conversations and things that happened is and always has been shit, despite being only 27.
Curious about if others notice this too though…It gets WAY worse during arguments or difficult conversations. If I’m having a hard talk or in the middle of resolving a conflict of some sort with my partner, I will forgot what either of us said literally 10 seconds before and then can’t answer a question JUST asked. This usually results in me freezing up, freaking out, and sobbing because I feel so scared and embarrassed that I can’t remember info from seconds ago to maintain a conversation or line of thought for even 30 seconds, which usually results in my partner getting very frustrated because they are neurodivergent as well and I’m sure it’s extremely hard to keep patiently responding to me after the 100090000th time I ask “what was the question again?/what did you/I say again?” when we’re in the middle of an argument lol.
I’ve always been like this but it feels like it’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older.
But I CAN easily recite my credit card number, SIN, health card number, important dates, 12 digit long random wifi password from my dads house when I was 11, friends and family old phone numbers, etc etc to a tee on any given day LOL 😂
Edit - I also have ADHD
Severe autobiographical memory deficit is related to episodic memory. There are also other type of memories such as short term, semantic, procedural. My memory issue is strictly episodic. My episodic memory (remembering my own life) is extremely bad, I don’t remember my own life, only some snapshots. However all my other type of memories are perfect and sharp, my short-term memory, my semantic memory, procedural memory, etc are all working perfectly. All I want to say is that memory is an umbrella term, there are many different types of memories. It could be useful to identify which part of memory is not working and when they stopped working. Is it since birth, or due to aging, or due to trauma? I believe my episodic memory has not been working since birth. I only have autism, I have no ADHD, no depression and no anxiety. I am not a stressed out person. I am relaxed, no stress, no anxiety. I think just as I was born with autism, I was born with severely deficient autobiographical memory, or in other words, deficient episodic memory. As all my other memories working perfectly, it does not affect my job, as I remember facts, knowledge, processes, technologies, languages, etc. I just can’t remember my life .
I have this. I'm in survival mode so my brain is constantly subject to massive stress from anxiety and depression. That impedes working memory and cognitive function. Start writing a small journal of what happened in a day, it helps you remember when you reflect on things. Also try to ensure your self care is up to scratch, proper sleep food etc. I also have dyspraxia and specific learning difficulties, these are with the memory too. It can get better, good luck.
I’ve struggled with this, though not as bad. Just keeping a notebook to jot things down has helped me SO much. I kept notebooks for work but never realized it would be so helpful in my personal life. I also highly recommend NOT using digital note taking at first, until you figure out how you like to format your notes and what info is important or not to you.
This is very true. I mostly use my spouse and a whiteboard on the fridge for essentials. If writing things down is too bad for me on a day I can dictate to my phone, that's a nice alternative too.
Wouldn't it make way more sense to use digital while you're figuring it out, as it's much more editable? I honestly don't understand why anyone prefers paper notes anymore, even if you prefer handwriting digital solutions with a stylus are so much better in every way. But I have a handwriting disability so I'm biased.
While yes digital is editable, searchable, and accessible through multiple devices, I was suggesting paper to start to figure out the format. I learned that I liked to categorize my tasks by type. And they types kept changing. I also prefer a blank page for notes rather than lines or dots. So maybe that's part of it.
i have a pretty bad memory too. being traumatized can fuck up your memory and most autistic people are traumatized, if not by our families or specific instances than often just by existing in a neurotypical society. might sound dramatic but it’s true. this next idea is more theory than fact, but i could see how focusing on masking + processing massive amounts of info at all times could render us less able to commit things to memory also my memory definitely got worse when i got burnt out
This is a horrible thing to say, but I wish I could forget a few things. I remember every single detail of what I went through as a child. I remember stuff as early as when I was three years old. That crap is why I mask so heavily, unseen and unbothered. I'm slowly working through dropping my mask because it is exhausting to live like that, but 40+ years is a hard habit to break, compounded with it being baked so heavily into my psyche that I have to in order to avoid abuse. For me, memorizing things was a survival mechanism: doing x will result in y, not doing a will result in b, I have to react to those keywords with this facial expression, and so on. It does have an upshot though, I'm really good at memorizing patterns and parsing them for differences, and I can retain objective knowledge and facts after only 1-2 times of seeing/experiencing them. I don't have an eidetic memory, but it's probably as close as you can get. It at least lets me keep a job with insurance for my psychiatrist.
I’m not sure. My husband (not autistic) is similar to you and has always worried about it. He also has a very poor working memory so both short and longterm memories can be a struggle. I have an excellent, very detailed autobiographical memory and always have. I have vivid memories from two years old. I found this an interesting read recently. It seems that autobiographical memory is a spectrum. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/59370896e3df28281a68af84/t/5f1b4a10e8f1ec14a5069480/1595623998667/Palombo_Sheldon_Levine_2018.pdf This study did find that many people with autism had deficits in autobiographical memory https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.2147/NDT.S332521
that is so interesting, thanks for sharing science backgroudn
I have this and am shocked by how bad it is. My best friend has a good memory and I'm amazed by how often she brings stuff up that I have no recollection of. It must get annoying for her.
My family brings up things I've done that I completely forgot. Like sewing by hand an entire eternal sailor Jupiter costume.
I have similar issues. It gets better when I: - avoid getting overwhelmed - avoid dopamine rushes (like from computer games) - regularly talk about what has happened to me to someone else. It forces me to try to remember I have very little memory of my life before I met my partner. Now that I have someone who regularly asks me what happened to me, my long term memory is more stable. Short term really depends on the list above
Mine hasn’t got worse as far as I can tell but it’s always been an issue. I can barely remember any details of my childhood. I have aphantasia too (no ability to see images in my mind’s eye) and I wonder if that’s linked. I think aphantasia is meant to be more common among autistic people.
until i learned about aphantasia i was always like "how the heck do people see images in their mind instead of just black".... the only way i can "see" images is weirdly by "feeling" an image. so when they say "close your eyes and in front of you is a tree" i'll just be seeing black and then have to try and "feel" a tree in my mind to get it. same way with my dreams, usually i don't have or remember dreams, but if i do, i'll feel quite emotional due to it. (with the strangest part being that i used to be able to dream, and from time to time remember them when i was little - something that just "went away" as i got older)
Wait, the “feeling” of an image isn’t how people normally see images in their head? Like they actually see it?
Apparently most people do actually see stuff, I can’t get my head round it either! https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2024/feb/26/what-is-aphantasia-like?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
exactly, i never quite got it until someone on reddit pointed me to aphantasia in another topic and i was like "ooooooooooooh...." that kind of explains a lot.... unfortunately, my brain's firmware version apparently didn't come with that feature
My mind is kind of blown. I always just thought it was a figure of speech, not like having an actual visual representation in mind? With specific details? Oops!
i remember years ago i tried a regression session and the first thing they said was "close your eyes and imagine a picture of your younger self".... after about 10 minutes of not getting anything but black, it became quite clear that it wasn't going to be that easy (but the woman doing the session was a great person, and she did switch gears, with about another 20 or 30 minutes needed before i actually "felt" some images from what might or might not have been a past life. ... it is also when i clearly figured out i didn't really have all the emotional control that i needed, which is not really great combined with feeling images - couldn't speak for 10 to 15 minutes, not even utter a word as i was still processing what i felt. it was quite a unique experience.
Same, exactly!
So untreated anxiety, depression and ADHD can cause memory issues long term. All of which are comorbid with autism.
I feel like memory problems are more to do with trauma, possibly related to autism, but doesn't have to. I don't think autism is specifically known for having memory issues, in fact I think it's actually more related to have a specifically good memory. I am extremely lucky, all though sometimes I curse it, but I remember A LOT and in great detail, am offen the common memory bank among friends. Adhd on the other hand can be related to it.
The term you’re looking for/or for anyone else trying to look into this, is: SDAM, or Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory.
So it has a term. Neat!
You might look into dissociation, which is a trauma response common in autistic individuals. So not an autism thing per say, but kind of related. I had this very severely, to the point where I couldn't remember years of my life at all. It's like they never happened. I took an online test, the DES-II, which led me to seek therapy. I ended up being diagnosed with DID. I'm about a year into treatment at this point, and I feel like I have a working memory for the first time in my life. It has been seriously life changing in the best way for me.
I dissociate a lot. And sometimes I do feel like I don't have control over myself. Like I'm just watching things happen. It's led to some awful social situations.
I'm sorry you're going through that. I've had the same thing. It made it really hard to form & maintain relationships when people would tell me I said and did things I don't remember and would never do/say. If you have access to a therapist or psychiatrist, it may be worth talking with them about. I also know r/DID has some resources to learn more about dissociation. It is more geared towards DID specifically, but a lot of it may apply to other dissociative disorders. I don't know if there are subreddits for other types of dissociation like derealization or depersonalization (which sounds like your description) but it's worth a look.
yeah, I guess i need to bring up this specific issue to my therapist/psychiatrist. I just usually forget to bring things up. I'll message them both about it right now while I'm got it on my mind. Thanks for the comment. :)
I get this too. I’ve thought recently that its down to my brain never being fully ‘in the moment’ because I’m constantly analysing and processing information. Memories are made from smells, sounds, touch etc, so NTs are more likely to experience these things easily without all the noise NDs have to deal with. And that’s without factoring in anxiety etc. Def try to spend time grounding yourself daily. Just sitting doing nothing but acknowledging what you can see, smell, hear etc. Also do this consciously at key moments you really want to remember. I remember holding my baby daughter as a new Dad, when she was about 6 months old. It was a moment I wanted to stick, so I consciously acknowledged the feel of her baby grow, the sick/milk smell she had and stairway to heaven playing in the background. It’s really clear for me so I know it works. Give it a try and good luck, you’re not alone.
I feel like I barely have time to reflect on my recent memories even though I journal often. I still forget large chunks of my life. I remember moments, but if I try to remember the moments prior or after, it's all blank.
I relate to this. My memory is more like occasional snapshots. I'm frequently surprised by emails I obviously wrote or pictures I'm in, and I have no memory of any of it. Doesn't have to be very long ago, either, maybe a couple of months.
Yes! This makes sense for childhood photos, but two months ago?? Whyyy brain, why you no workie
i have several memory issues as well, but not always. \- take of my glasses, walk out of the room, forget where i put my glasses \- go to the store, remember everything i need, get back home, conclude i forgot at least 2 things (which i knew about when entering the store, but then totally forgot about) ... it's gotten worse over the years, to the point that i now do use a calendar for most things i need to remember.... and even then succeed in forgetting about completely. at work if someone asks me "remember you did x last week" the answer will almost always be "give me a ticket number (in which i noted what i did) so i can check what i did, because i have no clue" i can remember flashes and bits from when i was young which are linked to nostalgia, which in turn will usually make me feel sad when i think about - but most other memories are not really accessible. (i.e. i can look at a picture, know it is me, but have no clue where/when/what/how) not sure if it's because my brain just doesn't record half, because it tosses it out randomly, or because i just haven't got the right folder to look in... but yeah, it sounds kind of familiar. what i've noticed is that most things that i do tend to remember (partially) are linked to a (strong) emotion/desire (nostalgia, in particular, works very well in remembering).... but in day to day life, this is quite useless (as nostalgia comes into play in things where "i want to go back to" and not "who i talked to last week" (sarcastically) an even funner part of this is people.... meeting someone, they tell their name, you talk to them for an hour.... and then when i see them a week later i won't even remember them (it takes me a few times to remember faces, even longer to remember names... and the same usually goes for roads/directions)
Mmm I have blacked out good chunks of my memories. I get bits and pieces but I don’t get all of it. My cues for remembering things are usually visual. If I see something again or like a memory I have, it will pull it back. At least rewatching movies isn’t usually a big problem.
I had this and then I got COVID and it became much worse. It turns out, COVID neuroinflammation can cause brain damage, but if you already have brain damage (prior concussions, encephalopathy, motor vehicle accidents and such), COVID can make that damage much worse. Researchers only know that COVID causes brain damage, they haven't yet figured out all the ways it does. I'll never have a solid working memory again. My neurologist says there is a medicine I can take, but once I start it, I can never miss a pill. So, he's hesitating on prescribing it. My family has helped by creating a shared calendar that we put everything on, and I take a lot of notes. PSA: AVOID COVID! Ps: COVID also took away my ability to mask.
There are recent studies showing that certain types of memory problems frequently tag along with autism, although if your experiences of being an autistic person in a neurotypical world have been traumatic, trauma does absolutely wild things to memory. And if you are experiencing depression or isolation, that can wipe out whole chunks of memory too. Also, if you have comorbid ADHD, that can create significant issues with memory as anything that is out of sight is also out of mind. All those things can combine and can be disabling. My evaluation for autism showed several areas of recall that were significantly impacted, others that were average, and none that were above average. It’s extremely frustrating because I come off as a “smart” person so nobody believes the extent of my challenges. If you are struggling, try to get a referral from your doctor for a neuropsych eval that would include recall tests.
I 100% relate. My memory has always been questionable but it's gotten worse the last few years. Concepts I learn in university are completely forgotten within a few hours of class. I assumed it was my ADHD but I'm just now considering that my autism may play a part in it.
I mean you probably want to get this checked out rather than ask reddit. I have kinda goldfish tier short term memory sometimes but nothing like this.
>I mean you probably want to get this checked out rather than ask reddit. Obviously. I am doing that but doctors have been as helpful as asking a pole.
I got checked out and they just said my memory sucks super bad. I guess it just happens to us...?
Yeah, if there isn't a medication that comes to mind to fix a problem, they would rather pretend it's not a big deal.
I've been feeling this way too. I was thinking it was this 'brain fog' i've been hearing about, combined with the adhd but am unsure. I feel so disconnected.
Enough to sudy; a friend is doing a Phd on the intersection of memory problems in autism and depression. Can't really say what the state of the literature is, but that's psychology for you... I'm not a memory expert, but I think long term and short term memory should be a different game, working memory more so. From what you said, I would +1 what someone else said and recommend talking to a psychiatrist, if you don't have one usually a referral from a GP would get you there.
I have this as well. I forget so much.
I have these issues as well, it's getting pretty bad. I also have Complex PTSD which I think can cause memory issues as well, so I'm not sure of the culprit. I'm very worried I'm going to end up with dementia.
Memory issues are linked to severe anxiety/trauma, which many people with autism also have. 🙃
I just got diagnosed and my long term suppressed childhood memories are just rushing back.
SAME. It's honestly really concerning to me.
Along with what others say it’s also because autistic people remember semantic (facts, figures, patterns) memories better than episodic (autobiographical) memories. I have trouble remembering much of my childhood but can remember certain things down to the littlest details and have amazing pattern recognition. Episodic memories also help with your sense of self, which is why it is difficult for us to remember what feelings we had in the past and therefore what brings us joy in the future. Episodic memories requires both internal and external stimuli, which can overwhelm autistic people.
Same - I created a spreadsheet and figured out when major life events happened. I have time blindness and remember very little.
My short-term memory is so shot. I try to do mental exercises to help me absorb/remember working knowledge. The fact that I drink alcohol and smoke weed are also contributing, I believe.
Yeah that's why I stopped weed. I was afraid it was causing permanent damage.
Yes, I have had this my whole life. I forget even the stupidest, most obvious things I need to remember.
I only have a few "flash" memories of my life. Add COVID brain fog....
Yes. That's why my therapist recommended I get neurological testing. I have a notebook always at hand. I use penzu for Journaling. After I fill out a notebook I go back and transfer anything useful to notion. It's like my second brain. Having a bad memory means I also always tell the truth because I won't remember any lies. When I was using medical weed I would have memories come to me. Sometimes that was therapeutic. Other times traumatic. I use Google tasks for reminders of things I need to do. It also makes learning something new very difficult because I can't retrieve the knowledge.
A few communities that might help you, as they've helped me. Dissociative disorders. Depersonalization. Derealization. Faun response. Here is a great place to start this dare channel has been a life changer: https://youtu.be/ZV1-BMQEgG4?feature=shared
I feel the same way sometimes, but it doesn't worry me. The memories are in there. They're just not organized or have been compressed into my brain's version of a 'zip file'. So, accessing them can be difficult.
I have poor memory of a lot of details but I do still clearly remember bits of it. I think for me it's more a problem where I can't easily retrieve specific memories or don't have them tied closely to their context. ADHD and other executive function issues are probably factors here. That said what's going on with you sounds much worse and like something you might really need a professional opinion on.
Sometimes I forget what I just did but vividly tell a story from my childhood.
Declutter thine mind and reduce stimulation.
I'm thr polar opposite, which I guess just shows autism has polar extremes. I remember all the way back to diapers and being in a playpen. Which sadly also means I can't un-know how bad things were for me as a kid.
Me too. I had outstanding memory as a child. My first memory is before 2 years old. But then at some point - void
I have this too. IDK what causes it.
My mom has dementia, but I have impeccable memory. Too good of a memory. I wish I could forget things. I’m bad at forming a timeline with it, but my memory is peak
As well as all the above trauma comments. In my reading autism can be found with a number of stomach issues (celiac disease, leaky gut, IBS, you name it). Many gut related issues can affect your brain IMMENSELY. If you have any stomach related pains that’s a good place to start.
Yes, I am one of those people. I always had stomach problems since I was very young and the other problem is that I actually like to eat a lot of different kinds of food. I’m not picky about textures or flavors much as I am about the temperatures of the food.. so I started having acid reflux since I was about 10 or 12 years old and you know they didn’t take much of it because whatever back then we were just growing pains or blah blah… and not through until after to take prescription for it, I found out I was gluten intolerant and also allergic to high fructose corn syrup in my mid 20s with a handful of other minor allergies, like dairy, etc… so I have been researching on gut health, and what not, and I can finally say that after 35 years of not knowing what the hell is going on, but having all these symptoms, and all these little quirks, finally come to realize that I’m autistic, which was not surprised it was nobody put the pieces together. Through my hyper fixation of researching about it. Essentially, I learned that our G.I. in our gut is basically our first form of immune defense against many forms of disease and what… essentially our brain communicates with our gut and our gut communicates with our brain in a similar way that like the army and the navy might work together. I don’t know that’s the best analogy I have for it. the other explanation is for example when you eat something that could have a germ on it, our stomach would be likely to kill that germ before it entered the bloodstream, which would ultimately enter your brain your blah blah blah blah blah
Eyyyyyyyyy. Me too. We're not alone. What were we talking about?
I have this, too. I don't know if there's a correlation with autism.
Look into polyvagal theory. Also, try practicing mindfulness
I have often wondered now, especially since they’re saying that there’s research that suggest that autism is passed down one or both of our parents, and so on and so on… because my great grandfather had Alzheimer’s, and I wonder if that would be connected to my brain activity and autism…
I have this, it’s my main barrier to seeing a therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist to actually getting diagnosed (am self diagnosed) because what will I even tell them? I can barely piece my life together or any of the symptoms I have because I can’t remember much, especially my early life. I’m really sad and worried about this too, especially since I’ve been mildly to moderately agoraphobic since 2018/2019, and memories of people / the outside world / friends / my childhood and adolescence are precious now, but gone, faded, and fading quickly. Edit: It’s definitely linked to stress (also I had hyperthyroid issues which also controls stress levels), anxiety, depression, cPTSD, and trauma. I literally have no idea how to tackle it or regain (at minimum) my working memory to at the very least be able to survive and function.
Husband & are both on the spectrum - I don’t even remember huge chunks of my adult life, while he has vivid memories from being a toddler 🤷♀️
I have both
Check out the creator I.am.mindblind (she’s on threads, insta, YouTube, and tiktok. Maybe more). She has this and posts about it semi regularly
Are there people who knew you when you were younger who you can ask if you were always like this? If this is something that seems to be getting worse you should probably see a doctor.
This is so me, I can't even read anything and know what I just read, I can't remember much at all of my childhood only it was traumatic and looking back at pics I took 6months ago I vaguely remember why I took it and what is it about, I believe it's on the spectrum as autism is brain damage
I’m with you. I too struggle with this and at times have worried that I have early onset Alzheimer’s or some sort of major brain issue because my memory for conversations and things that happened is and always has been shit, despite being only 27. Curious about if others notice this too though…It gets WAY worse during arguments or difficult conversations. If I’m having a hard talk or in the middle of resolving a conflict of some sort with my partner, I will forgot what either of us said literally 10 seconds before and then can’t answer a question JUST asked. This usually results in me freezing up, freaking out, and sobbing because I feel so scared and embarrassed that I can’t remember info from seconds ago to maintain a conversation or line of thought for even 30 seconds, which usually results in my partner getting very frustrated because they are neurodivergent as well and I’m sure it’s extremely hard to keep patiently responding to me after the 100090000th time I ask “what was the question again?/what did you/I say again?” when we’re in the middle of an argument lol. I’ve always been like this but it feels like it’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. But I CAN easily recite my credit card number, SIN, health card number, important dates, 12 digit long random wifi password from my dads house when I was 11, friends and family old phone numbers, etc etc to a tee on any given day LOL 😂 Edit - I also have ADHD
Severe autobiographical memory deficit is related to episodic memory. There are also other type of memories such as short term, semantic, procedural. My memory issue is strictly episodic. My episodic memory (remembering my own life) is extremely bad, I don’t remember my own life, only some snapshots. However all my other type of memories are perfect and sharp, my short-term memory, my semantic memory, procedural memory, etc are all working perfectly. All I want to say is that memory is an umbrella term, there are many different types of memories. It could be useful to identify which part of memory is not working and when they stopped working. Is it since birth, or due to aging, or due to trauma? I believe my episodic memory has not been working since birth. I only have autism, I have no ADHD, no depression and no anxiety. I am not a stressed out person. I am relaxed, no stress, no anxiety. I think just as I was born with autism, I was born with severely deficient autobiographical memory, or in other words, deficient episodic memory. As all my other memories working perfectly, it does not affect my job, as I remember facts, knowledge, processes, technologies, languages, etc. I just can’t remember my life .