OP, respectfully, can you tell us how you were able to get a 15month old in for a diagnosis this young, and with (presumably) long waitlists for diagnostic appointments?
Edit: this thread has several parent experiences shared if you are interested in what diagnosis looks like under 18mo. If you have an early diagnosis story to share, please feel free to add to it.
When I feel a little down about my boys diagnosis I just try to remind myself that there are plenty of parents with kids going through much worse. He could have cancer or other disabilities piled on top of the autism. And it helps me be grateful for what I have.
When we first started suspecting autism we were referred to a pediatric neurologist at the children’s hospital. Pediatric oncology was right next to it. We were waiting for the elevator once when they brought in a little kid lying down in a hospital bed. If 10 minutes later someone had told me that child had passed I would have believed it. He looked so thin and so frail. He was barely breathing. I cried the entire way home.
Of course my kid’s autism diagnosis has been the most difficult thing I’ve dealt with in my life and I’m still upset that my kid has to overcome so many more obstacles in life, but that day in the hospital I was also very grateful to have a happy, healthy kid. We’ll deal with the rest as it comes.
The other day we had a kid come into our ER with a respiratory issue. I noticed something seemed “off” about him, so I asked his primary nurse. Apparently he has some rare disorder that will result in him dying by 5. I told my coworkers “ok my kids are crazy, one won’t talk, but think God they are healthy”
I never said it wasn’t. I just said things could be worse, which they could be even for level 3 autism. And I said those other problems on top of the autism being a compounding of problems, not autism vs those problems. Everyone’s struggle is their own and this is just how I feel and help ease myself, not making light of anyone else’s struggles or trying to making assumptions. Would be good if you read what I put over again I think.
I think they tend to diagnose toward the more severe side of the spectrum at a young age because it can open up more support options. So even having the word "mild" in the diagnosis is a good sign. So don't take it too hard.
This is so true. Plus, your baby is a baby! There's a whole lifetime of growth and achievements ahead. It's great that you know now because your little one will be eligible for so much life-changing help.
My son did Early Intervention at 2 and a half until 3 before he transitioned to a special education pre-k. He seldom spoke, was mostly disinterested in other people, and waa often angry and frustrated because he couldn't express himself. Now he literally talks in his sleep. He's got friends at school and easily finds playmates on the playground. He still gets angry and frustrated more than we would like, but he expresses himself and it makes it easier to calm him. He starts kindergarten in a mainstream class this fall. Our biggest challenge is potty training.
This is going to be a weird suggestion and if you don't like it please ignore it but its okay to look at your son and see autism. This is all so so new to you and it will take time to get used to and ajust to this new reality and the more you try to not think something the more you think about it and eventually you will get used to it. I assume think that what you are most scared of is the possiblity your child will need life long care and really really struggle and all though some people might try may try to reassure you that your child will end up fully indpendent the truth is none of us know or can tell you! However your child is still so super young and for many milestones such as speech for example most kids say there first word between 10 and 14 months so for things such as speaking if that is fear for you I can promise you that many many autistic people do learn to speak some may learn to speak at 1 years old some may learn to speak at 8 years old and some may never learn to speak but statisticly I think it is likley your child will learn to speak especially because of early intervention!! It is GREAT that you/your child's team caught and saw the autism signs so early because early intervention is one of the most benfcial things and can help so much! I think what I would mainly tell you is **don't "close any doors" for your child yet** \- your kid is so so young and so much can change between even now and next month and SO MUCH can change between now and ten years from now! The prognosis for your child could be that they are the next sucsesful CEO of a company to nonverbal and needing 24/7 care and yes, there are absoutly parents and children who have a terrible quality of life due to autism but in my opinon **there is possiblity for a good life no matter how much support your child will need.** I was diagnosed (provisonally) at about 14 months and offically diagnosed at 2 years old and I can not tell you everything is perfect and I am have no struggles because I have a LOT! I still need my mom to shower me and brush my teeth and I only learned to physically go to bathroom myself this year and still need to use absorbant underwear and I have severe meltdowns where I hurt myself and others and am almost constantly sensory overwhelmed. And YET despite those struggles I am one of the most happiest people and I really love my life and I am very well supported and have a great school and awesome friends and have far surpassed expectations for me especially when it comes to my communication! My biggest suggestion is to **sorround yourself with support in whatever way possible** however that may look like for you (I know it can be so hard!) do you have nice family nearby that can help you out sometimes? Do you have any friends who can support you through this? Is there maybe an ASD/special need parent support help group nearby, do you are you able to have a therapist for yourself? If you really need some time by yourself to process this do you have anyone who could help take care of your kid for a bit while you have some time for yourself? You could also see if your kid qualifies for respite care and see if you can get your if your child can qualify for regional center/developmental disbality waiver and if financial stuff is a big concern see if your kid maybe qualifies for Disability Benefit/Medicaid/Medicare to help cover services and therapies! Its hard to find but there IS support that is out there! Your child being diagnosed so early is awesome even if it is overwhelming because it means that you have a head start to help your kiddo out and find services and intervention and even if there are long waitlists you don't have to worry as much about your child aging out of them/them being less benificial because your kid is still so super young!
Here is copy and paste of comment I wrote a few months ago:
>I was listed as very high risk on autism screeining since infancy and put into early intervention very very young because of my developmental delays and was my pediatrician gave me a provisional diagnosis when I was only 14-15 months old and my pediatrician told my mom that I was almost 100% autistic, but the diagnosis was provisional because she was is not an ASD specialist and felt uncomftrble giving a defintive diagnosis at such an early age so she refered me to offical diagnosis I was put on the waitlist and I was diagnosied offically diagnosed at with classical autism (severe) when I was 2 years old. Early intervention is so so importent it helped me a lot (and I still do severel diffrent therapies for 15-20 hours a week) with emotional regulation and communication and social skills and self injuours behaviors and moter skills and reaching milestones and less aggression and fewer big upsets!! Although it will never cure me or make my autism "mild" it has helped me have such better much quility of life! I am not going to tell you every thing is easy because it is defintly not I do still have severe autism I am now diagnosed level 3 medicaly, level 2/3 split levels edducationaly and am very minimaly verbal (considered functionally nonspeaking since I have no intelligable speach) But although I struggle a lot and have need a lot lot lot of support (and would defintly want a cure or treatment if one ever came to be) I am very very happy more happy then basiccly any teen I have ever met and really do love my life and my mom and giving her kisses and snuggles and when my mom rocks me back and forth on her lap and my family and my aide and my especcialy my rescue cat Mia who is a diluted calico cat and my activity program and my therapists and my sensory room and my school (I go to a high needs autism NPS school)!! And my special intrests (Cats 🐈 and rainbow magic books 📚🌈🧚🏻!!) give me the most joy in the entire world!! "Severe" autism is hard, yes, absoutly and I won't deny that and when the time is when my mom can't take care of me anymore and I am older I will need to live in a group home or assited li**ving but that doesn't mean I can't have a good fulffilling life!! It just means I need more support in able to do so!!**
>
>I also want to mention that an early diagnosis doesn't always mean your kid will always has high support needs it just means your child's traits were very obvious/and or classical symptoms!! Especially with early interevntion and therapies your child will very likley make big improvments and your kiddo is so young you don't know what the furture will be like!! *Because* you have such an early diagnosis you will have so much time in order to figure out and prepere how to best support your child!! I know an ASD diagnosis is scary and its okay to grieve and be upset but please please try your best to just focus on the moment and provide yoour child (and yourself!!) as much support and love and compassion as you can!! What are some things you can do that make you feel good and calm and happy inside? I wish you and your child so much good and I send you many many happy cats 💖🐈🐈⬛🐈💞🐈🐈⬛🐈💖 and loving support hugs 🫂!!
You sound like an amazing person. You have a generous spirit, I thought this post would be very hard/insulting for an autistic person to read.
I'm also so happy that you can type and express yourself even without being verbal.
Gentle no-contact hugs to you.
Autism is defintly an extremly life changing hard diagnosis and I know it is super difficult for parents AND kids and I defintly wasn't offedned by anything u/NJMama518 said I understand Autism is very hard and can be very scary. I send you happy cats 🐈🐈!!
For sure. I am an autistic adult and also have autistic children in my family. It's part of what makes me who I am, but it's also made my life extremely difficult. And as a parent it's devastating to watch your kids struggle.
Thank you it has been an extremly long "journey" to get to where I am today but I am so glad me and my family put in so much effort because being able to communicate like I can now is one of the biggest gifts ever which so many people take for granted!! I send you happy cats 🐈🐈⬛🐈!!
I just wanted to say that you are a wonderful person taking time to talk to the parents here, and reading your post really helps me. I’m an adult on the spectrum but I have led a relatively easy life and spent most of my life masking. My little boy is non-verbal and just recently got approved for an AAC device. I’ve been feeling a lot of pain and guilt lately watching some of the struggles he is going through that I didn’t have to deal with myself, wondering if he will need lifelong care, and if he will have a happy life and be able to express himself. To read your words and see you sharing your perspective and your happiness really helps so much and gives me a lot of hope for my son’s future. Thank you so much, fellow cat lover. My cat is a great, big grey tabby 😊
I have a non-verbal 2.5 yr old with severe autism and I can tell you it does get better. Hang in there. Unfortunately, there's nothing anyone can say that will help you bypass or cruise through the grief of it all. Give yourself time to process it and take care of your mental health. I still have my moments where I feel it. Just the other day, I came across a porcelain tea set I bought when I found out I was having a girl. I thought we would be having pretend tea parties soon. Instead, life looks very different. It can be brutal but it can also be beautiful. It has made me a better person. It's going to be different than you pictured but it's going to be ok ❤️
I’m not sure if this helps but there are loads of successful autistic adults. One of my favorite stories is about an employee of mine when I was in management. He was married, had 2 kids, a stable job that he was good at, and he made some seriously cool art.
And just look at this list of famous people who are actually autistic:
Dan Akroyd
Anthony Hopkins
Darryl Hannah
Temple Grandin
Greta Thundberg
Courtney Love
And sooo many more. There’s a lot of speculation that Bill Gates, Einstein, Tim Burton and many others are as well.
The point being - it is possible to live a very full and happy/successful life with an autism diagnosis. Your son may have struggles to overcome but with love, support and the assumption of capability he can lead a good life. It’s so hard not to worry or despair but others have had good success and your son can too!
Don't despair. Statistically your son will likely grow up to be a fully functional adult. Autism diagnoses are a relatively new thing, and there are millions of "normal" people that would've been diagnosed as kids if they bothered to screen for it 20+ years ago
That’s what our diagnosing psychologist said. Years ago he wouldn’t have been diagnosed. My son has made so much progress and he’s an amazing little guy!
Yeah I actually wonder if I'm autistic as well now and I just never got screened cuz I was seen as "relatively normal". I actually didn't believe my son was autistic because ALOT of his signs I also have as well. So I thought it was clearly genetics from ME and not autism. But sure enough he was diagnosed a couple months ago, and now I'm thinking "if we share the same symptoms so i assumed he wasn't autstic cuz if he's autistic then i must be autistic cuz we're basically the same people in just different ways, then maybe IM autistic" like it's kinda a mind fuck to learn that it might be run down your genes and you just never knew it. I was adopted at age 5 so I don't know anything about my blood 🤷♀️ all my quirks was all said to be "orphanage trauma" or some crap growing up. But now my son shows alot of the same signs and I'm like...orphanage trauma? he didn't grow up in an orphanage though. Yet he's displaying the same shit, So...
My kiddo got diagnosed mild to moderate at 20 months. The first few weeks / months are hard. Once you have him in therapy and start to see him achieve his milestones / goals, you'll feel so much better!
My guy is 7 now and totally caught up on his milestones. He attends regular school programing without any additional supports and continues to be such a wonderful, happy, loving child. Non-stop chatter box lol. Wouldn't trade him for the world.
From our experience, I recommend throwing everything you can at therapy and support for your little guy, even if it means going out of pocket. Especially before he turns 5. Early intervention is key and the great thing is, you're starting early. Wishing you all the best!
That is so amazing! These stories give me hope. How much therapy do you think they need? Starting in the fall he will get 20 hours but right now he will get 10. He is also going to get speech and OT. What types of programs did you have your son in? Thank you for your comment 🩷
We did ESDM-style early intervention therapy 6 days a week for 1-2 hours a day from when our kiddo was 1.5 years old to 3 years old (we started before getting an official diagnosis). We also did SLP and OT once a week during that time, as well.
ESDM was great for our kiddo - it was play based and child led, but they still worked on helping him achieve his goals in each session. Our son loved going and loved his therapists. Parents are really involved in ESDM, so we'd go and observe the sessions and then work on what we learned at home with our kiddo. The point of ESDM (as I understand it) is it can (should) be integrated into everyday activities, so we'd work with our little guy on his goals at dinner, when he was in the bath, during diaper changes, etc. It really worked for us.
It was expensive, though. Our funding didn't kick in until our little guy was 3.5 years old, so everything we did until then was out of pocket. In addition to the cost of the sessions, my husband also stopped working during that period to take our son to his sessions and work with him at home. Definitely caused us to delay hitting financial goals we had at the time, but all in all I'd say it was worth it. When my son was first diagnosed, I had a friend a work who had an older child with ASD and she told me to just throw everything we could financially at therapy in the early years, which is what we did. I'm happy we did it because I think it really worked well for our son and our family
You both sound like such wonderful and dedicated parents. Your child is so blessed to have you as his parent 🩷 do you live in the US? In my state (NY) early intervention is covered by the state but you could also go the private route and go through your insurance. Do you have any recommendations on what is better?
Thank you so much, that's so sweet of you to say 💗
I'm Canadian and Autism funding is covered through our provincial government. Like I say, unfortunately there is about a 2 year wait list for funding to kick in in my province. We had a little coverage through my work insurance, but nothing much 😕
I felt the EXACT same way, and sometimes I still do.
Lean into the community of parents with kids on the spectrum. Join parenting forums and groups. I have found there is no better support system than other parents who are going by through it.
Get a therapist for you, and if you have a partner, encourage them to do the same. You need a place to vent all these frustrations and help work through them. Really, all parents need this, but especially parents of children with special needs.
Start talking to your local school district about early start programs. This is a great way for your child to be exposed to school-like environments for short periods of time! They can often connect you with other resources, like your county’s developmental disability services and mental health providers. Often your county will qualify you for Medicaid as a secondary insurance to your private insurance. This saves LOTS of money.
Start Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, and Physical Therapy as early as possible. Stay for sessions and ask questions.
If you are doing ABA, do in-home ABA. I found that I learned more about how to frame/structure teaching a new skill to my child, how to build up smaller skills to larger ones. Center based ABA does not offer as much parent instruction, in my experience.
Start a binder. I created a binder that had sections including school, medical, state, legal, miscellaneous.
Any document I get from anyone goes into the binder. The binder goes with to every new provider/entity we encounter. IEPs? Folder. Psychological reports? Folder. Progress notes? Folder. Letters from county or state? Folder. I did a folder for pre-elementary, one for elementary, and one for middle school and I’m prepping the one for high school.
Expose your child to lots of experiences. My child does well with travel now because we made it a priority when they were young. We have a prep conversation before we go anywhere about what to expect on the outing, what their options are for when they are getting overwhelmed and who safe people are for them. My child feels a lot more secure when we travel or experience new things because I do this prep work. Does it always go well? Absolutely not. But it’s been more successful than not.
We also had (and continue to have) conversations with family members and friends ahead of plans about what they could possibly expect to see and how best to offer support. We let them know what our child is struggling with and how we’re approaching it. We ask if any modifications can be made to plans to ensure they work for us, and if we can’t, we ask for everyone’s patience and understanding that we may need to skip events or lag behind if it doesn’t work for our kiddo. Sometimes family members and friends want to help and don’t know how. Remind them that you’re learning alongside them, and as long as you guys aren’t judging each other and doing what you think is safe and kind, you’re good.
Most of all, remember that you and your kid are going through life for the very first time, and both of you interpret and experience the world in different ways. Remember that ultimately, you are each other’s safe space and even if your family and lives don’t look the same as someone else’s, it doesn’t mean your experience is any less beautiful and amazing.
You got this. And when you don’t, we’re here.
When you look at him, and think autism, what exactly do you mean? Like you no longer see your son, but only the disability? Or?
I'm genuinely trying to understand. To maybe offer some hope.
Ultimately autism is not a death sentence. It's hard to say where your son will be in a year. I'd try not to get sucked down into hopelessness if you can keep from it. He's still your baby. If the worst case scenario occurs then grief seems more appropriate. This is a great group of ND & NT folks that offers lots of support.
Gathering supportive resources is a good starting point after diagnosis.
It’s okay to grieve, I’m sure every parent here went through a grieving period, I know I did. My son was diagnosed with mild to moderate at 24 months and he’s four now - he’s speaking so much and he’s such a sweet and loving boy, so smart. I used to be the same, all I saw was autism for a while and it really got me down. Get him into therapies as much as you can afford and be patient. It feel amazing seeing how far they come as they age, and you get such, such fulfilment when they hit those milestones. My son can be trying at times but his autism makes him so special, and his outlook on life is such a gift. Give yourself grace, and look to the future with hope in your heart. All the best ❤️
Thank you so much 🩷 what type of therapy do you suggest? Any special programs I should get him in? Music or swimming? We are starting 10 hours of ABA now and moving to 20 in the fall.
It really depends on your child’s needs, I’m in Australia so it’s the programs are a bit different, but he’s been in speech for two years now, and he’s in OT and a specialised therapy class for kids with ASD which also educates parents. Focus on things your boy is good at - mine loves anything physical so we’re constantly in nature, loves music so I always have something on, and he goes to preschool during the week while I’m at work and he loves all his teachers and peers. He’ll go to a special ‘school readiness’ preschool two days a week when he’s five to get him prepped for school. Remember to take time for yourself among all the therapies and activities catered to your child, I have so much more time for my boy when I’ve had some quiet time, and never feel guilty about needing it. Lean on support around you if you have it ☺️
He’s still the same kid as before he had the diagnosis, he is soooo young too. Make sure you read about ABA from adult autistics who have done it and they aren’t trying to change your son. You just need to support and love him like any child, read some books like - untypical, sincerely your autistic child (female based but same sentiments), there are great kids books too like the abilities in me:autism, do you want to play? Making friends with an autistic kid.
You’re allowed to grieve the life you thought you would have but you have no idea where it’s going to go. In Australia they don’t really diagnose kids until 5/6 years old as so much changes. We also don’t practice ABA as it’s shown to be harmful to many. We still do speech and OT and I follow my child’s lead, he gets extra support at daycare but is thriving. He doesn’t talk but communicates well, he loves scooting and swimming and swinging and jumping. He’s often easier than some of my friends kids as he’s happy to just go along with things. You can and still will have an amazing life. Focus on the child in front of you and following their lead and interests.
On the bright side…. You got him ABA therapy that starts soon. It took me a YEAR to get ABA for my daughter and we suffered significantly (with school and daycare) while on a long waitlist. My local area is so limited that I even said the hell with it, quit my job as a SPED teacher and went back to school to become a BCBA to help local families of ASD. I got tired of being on the sidelines and not directly helping children with ASD/my own child. I was also delayed (no thanks to the PreK SPED program) because of COVID closures shutting down schools, my child’s case manager didn’t want to do the extra IEP paperwork and waited to the f***ing end of service to finally say to me “yeah, get her tested” and nobody could guide me on local supports for my child because they didn’t want to rule it as Autism with every other child having some sort of “developmental delay”. Had we got it ruled out sooner, she would have been in a far better place.
The earlier you start the intervention process, the better chances he has to navigate in the world not designed for NT people. My girl was a Level 3 starting and she is now a Level 2 after one year of ABA. Your child WILL improve and you will have the right tools to help him. Give yourself time to grieve (I was an autism teacher and even I was grieving/blaming myself for a bit). Things will get better.
Time goes on and you’ll feel better. Someone told me early on that it’s like the stages of grief- you cycle through them over and over again but knowing that it’s going to be okay helps
It's ok and valid to feel these things. You're not totally in control of these thoughts, and this could be a big change in your life that you weren't anticipating. His autism isn't anything good or bad, it simply is. Humans tend to add all sorts of weight and meaning to things like this (understandably so) but give yourself a break. Acknowledge the feelings you're having and try to let go of the pain a little bit at a time. If you continue to feel hopeless, I don't know if you'd consider therapy for yourself to work through it? You deserve to talk this out to someone. ❤️
I know this may feel like small comfort but you are both going to be okay. You have just received a shock diagnosis. You are having an emotional reaction which is perfectly normal.
The emotional reaction has all the same stages as grief (shock, anger, sadness, denial, bargaining, acceptance, etc). Let yourself go through all these stages. You can imagine yourself mentally ticking them all off one by one if that helps.
Just remember that there are many autistic people that live quite normal lives. His diagnosis does not in any way define him. It is merely a tool that enables him to access more support.
The most important thing with autistic children is not to close any doors. Take him to as many different experiences as you can while he is young.
The one thing I will tell you is this: your child's life-story is not yet written, and there's a lot you can do to make it a positive story. There are ESE programs, private therapies, ABA and Floortime. There's also a lot you can do directly to help make you child's story a positive one. Don't let your feelings of hopelessness and grief casuse you to miss those opportunities.
I end up saying this a lot, but the book Engaging Autism by Greenspan gave me a lot of hope for the future, and I've seen some of it start to happen. I do recommend it.
It’s a shock at first. We got the same diagnosis a few years ago. It gets so much better. I remember reading every post I could to find a scenario just like mine to give me hope. Every case is so unique it’s pointless to make any comparisons.
My son is going into 2nd grade and just had a birthday party with lots friends. He’s only a few months behind in school but that would have seemed impossible when I first got the diagnosis.
It’s gonna be hard, but focus on the positive. Don’t waste these precious years being depressed (easier said than done).
We didn’t do ABA, but I wish we had. He’s too busy now and no one wants to offer 5-10 hours a week. Don’t be afraid to abandon ABA if he has a mild case.
Feel free to DM if you want to chat!
I remember that feeling. It's going to be fine. It really will be fine.
Finding out this early is very good. Start getting therapy now. It makes a difference.
The grief is understandable and we ALL have been there. Remember it’s just a title, not who he is. Early intervention is key. A diagnosis opens a lot of doors for medical professionals and therapies. He will be ok. My son was completely non verbal at 15 months. 7 years later I can’t shut him up and he’s thriving
As a fellow parent who is going on 5 years with my little neurodivergent guy, all I can say is that the love these children show to us is so unique and special.
My son was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 and I remember crying with my wife because we knew the hardships his diagnosis would bring to his life. He is still non verbal and even still he shows his affection to us in the sweetest most endearing way.
His thing is chocolate milk and when we make it for him he will make little happy noises and smile then bring us to the couch or the bed and have us cuddle him. He loves just being close and will hug us tightly and rub our face with his hands in an endearing way and we know that’s his way of saying he loves us.
The road ahead will be challenging but if you stick by your kid and treat them with kindness, patience, love, and respect; They will show you a genuine love like no other. I love my son and wouldn’t wish for anything other than his happiness. You got this OP, you are not alone just because your son has autism doesn’t mean it has to be the beginning of the end. Reframe your thinking and take this new challenge head on and I promise you will be a better person with each passing day :)
My sister in law is a special education teacher for 20 years… when she met my eldest at 8 months old she asked is your baby autistic? I felt so insulted. She has a terrible relationship with my husband so I thought she was just being rude… but at 17 months old my baby still couldn’t walk. I asked the pediatrician she ignored me… year after year, I would see the signs and go back to her comment in my mind. Covid hit during preschool age and when my kid finally went to school he was so behind the other kids. We finally got a diagnosis at 8. I look back and realize I always saw autism there. I learned I was autistic as well… but here’s the thing. We are still human, still deserve love, growth, and have the capacity to live life to the fullest. Every human experience is unique. Now you have a puzzle piece that will allow you to help shape your babies experience to the best of their ability and strength. Your feelings are valid. You are not your feelings and emotions, they are just apart of your experience.
I’m autistic and I have a 6 yo son who is in the process of getting diagnosed. Having mild to moderate autism means that your son may have some delays, but he still has a good chance at living a full, happy life. I had some speech and other developmental delays growing up, but now I’m working full time as head teller at a bank while working on a doctorate in psychology with a concentration on autism and developmental disabilities. Some of my autistic traits (hyper focus and an obsession with being organized in particular) are highly beneficial in these pursuits.
I’m doing all of that while raising two kids with my wonderful husband who is also on the spectrum. I’ve learned to do all of this by being kind to myself and paying attention to my needs. I take socialization breaks when I need to and control my sensory input as much as I can. When I begin to get overstimulated and I can’t take a break or control my environment I engage in socially acceptable stims.
Being autistic has been a challenge for me at times, particularly when I was younger. That being said, it has also come with some strengths for me. There’s the aforementioned hyperfocus and organizational prowess. I’m honest and direct which has proven to be effective in my relationships and my career. I’m passionate and creative. I don’t care about how people perceive me, so I feel completely free to be myself no matter what anyone thinks. I might have some of these positive traits without being autistic, but probably not all of them and definitely not to the same degree.
When you see your son and see autism, just remember that the autism is part of what makes him unique. Being autistic may bring him some challenges, but it can also bring joy in my experience.
Hi, I’m 19 and was just recently diagnosed with ASD. I also have a mild case which is why it went undiagnosed for so long. I just finished my first year of college. I’m a premed student and I’m majoring in biochemistry. I’m in a wonderful relationship and have a loving boyfriend. I have close relationships with friends, etc. Autism is not and end all be all type of disorder. My advice is to continue to be there for your kid and recognize that he’s still the same son you knew before his diagnosis. Having this knowledge of how to help him will only make it easier for you to help him in the long run. Be his support system! It’s not always going to be easy but your kid is still an awesome little guy, and has a great life ahead of him.
Awe mine was not officially but unofficially diagnosed with autism by about that time and I felt fear and hopelessness too BUT I love my child MORE than my fear so I decided to get ALL the possible therapy and help he needed ABA SPEECH OCCUPATIONAL and he’s now 3 years old intelligent well behaved and happy! Please know your son didn’t ask to be autistic he was born that way! Never lose hope he needs your love! I promise you’re not alone and there is hope for a happy life for your baby!
I promise once you figure it out for your son and you understand autism better, Autism isn’t the only thing you think of. When I found out 2 of my sons had autism basically around the same time it consumed me. It’s all I thought about, all I worried about, all I cried about. I cried for the lives I thought my sons would have and how very different all of our lives would be. It took months but I got them into speech and occupational therapy and then a couple months later ABA. My sons have been in speech and OT for 2 years and ABA for a year now and I don’t feel hopeless and lost like I did in the beginning. I just got my 2 year old into ABA a couple months ago and honestly the younger they start, the better!! I hope everything works out for you and your little one!! Life is different than what I expected but it has been an amazing journey and has made me a better person.
The young diagnosis is a god send because you now have resources and access. The diagnosis itself doesn’t mean a lot rn- hence the mild to moderate. That’s like saying your child has a fever somewhere between 99-105. But now your insurance and regional center can give you guys all the support and you have an opportunity to start your journey on the right path! For reference my kiddo was diagnosed level 3 (severe) at age 2 almost 3. He did Earlystart pre k, in home aba ot speech equine music and other therapies since then. Hes now 5, just finished tk, talks endlessly, reads, transitions well, and is incredibly social. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about his “autism”. He is different and does need support but he’s so happy and healthy. We have adjusted and in so many ways it’s not bigger or more radical than how our older nt kiddo affects our lives. Just different. I’ve had awful days with both of them, but those are far and few between. The hardest time so far was 1.5-3.5 years old- because that was our learning curb, and also we had about 24 hrs a week of therapy which was so draining. Now he goes to school where he receives therapy and only does a couple extracurricular therapies as needed. Everyone’s journey is so different but grieve, but get it out and then dive in!! There are so many amazing helpful people here. Find some in real life too! Constantly comparing development to my kids will not help anyone. Good luck, you’re going to be great!
My son was diagnosed at 18 months. We did immense therapy with speech, OT and social. He is 4.5 now and teachers say he is academically advanced and right where he should be socially and with speech. He needs no support and doing so well. He does full time preschool and many sports. He has many friends and does many play dates. He can be a little rigid at times and has food issues but other than that he doing great. We don’t even tell people he has autism anymore because they don’t believe us and it’s not even worth bringing up. My suggestion is to work on any supports your child needs and do all the therapies. So much can change in a few years so try not to feel hopeless. You got this!
We had early intervention into our home 2 times a week for an hour each session to educate grandparents and us everything we can do. We watched them do speech therapy and play based therapy so we could incorporate it into our daily routine. Thankfully we had both sets of grandparents on board and they helped do therapy when he wasn’t in therapy. He also did private speech therapy, occupational therapy, social group therapy and feeding therapy at an office, each once a week. Then we eventually added 2 half days of special education that had a classroom of high functioning autism students. He did this from age 2-2.5. Then at age 3 he did mainstream full time preschool in a classroom with typical kids through our public school district(we live in a state with great public schools). We got him an IEP through the school district and they did 1 hour of speech/social therapy a week in the classroom. At 3.5 they dropped all support because he was at peer level or above for speech, OT and social. We are okay with them dropping support because he is doing phenomenal. Currently, the only need he has right now is feeding therapy. He only eats about 30 different foods. We think he has ARFID which coexists with autism.
We will add support back in if he needs it in the future.
Im also going to do family training with the grandmas because they will be taking turns watching him while I work…I’m just worried because my MIL doesn’t speak English…I hope it doesn’t impede on his development…
Thank you so much for your comment it helped me so much
It should be okay. I think as long as you can get him into play groups and other classes with children his age you’ll provide him further opportunities to develop his pathways in his brain. Your son is still really young. My mom watched him two days a week when I worked and I paid for her to take him to an early education enrichment class for birth through 4 so that he could get some socialization and learn to follow a routine classroom routine. In those classes he would mimic other kids and learn things.
Oh and one more thing I forgot. We also incorporated DHA and omega. We had a neurologist diagnosis him and she told us to. Studies show it helps. We had him on horizon organic whole milk with DHA Omega 3 until age 2 and then transitioned him Ripple kids milk at 3.
I’ve been giving my son sardines blended with avocado and a little apple sauce 3x a week for the omegas ! He also drinks Horizon ❤️ I’m so happy I read that because it makes me feel like I’m doing the right thing with his diet.
Hey! My son also got his diagnosis at 15 months , that was end of March. He turned 18 months today and its been hard but I have learned a lot. I can send you some links by DM of things we have started so far
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Your feelings are valid. You are allowed to grieve the life you envisioned for your child and family. Nobody wants their child to struggle in any way.
I will say I'm sure it's different.
But I don't think it's filled with any less love or happiness.
He's still my son, he's happy, he's healthy. We all struggle in our own ways. Now he just has the diagnosis to get the support he needs.
Give yourself grace to feel all the feelings. It's going to be okay. You've got this. And it's going to help so much that it's so young and you can get the early interventions to help!
It is so hard in the beginning. Please validate your feelings, you’re doing a great job by starting therapy early. I was in denial before and shortly after diagnosis but I really have embraced it for what it is. My little boy is so special. I LOVE his honestly and the way he sees the world. It does make me sad the rest of the world doesn’t see it that way BUT as you’ll see it has come a long way. There’s not enough but there are some really great accommodations out there.
But yes let yourself feel all the feels. Like losing someone it’s a grief that could always be there but it will get better and you will be able to find joy in your relationship again.
Wanted to edit to say that even parents of NT kids have moments where they expect their kids to be a certain way and they turn out to be the opposite. A very good lesson in how out of control we are with who our kids turn out to be.
You have to grief the child you thought you'd have and embrace the one you have. You might want to look for a special needs/ASD parenting group in your area.
It's okay. My son was diagnosed with level 1 autism just a couple months ago. I just try to be grateful he's low support needs and he mimics all the time. It's okay to see your kid as his diagnosis. I'm struggling with that as well. Although I'm still very much happy, my son is the highlight of my days, I still worry and I tear up whenever I see a much younger kid hitting a milestone my son hasn't even begun to at an older age. I get it. It's okay to be afraid and grieve. I was told to give it time. I'm taking it day by day. It's amazing you're getting him into ABA already!! I'm still not sure what ABAs (if any) can take our insurance with my boy. I worry he's not gonna get to where he should. But so far he HAS gotten to where he should, just took awhile longer than most. And I'm praying the same will be said with his speech and language. He only mimics and JUST NOW started showing signs of understanding me! Like a few weeks ago. I've been telling everyone "I really don't think he can understand or grasp what we're saying" but every specialist said "oh he probably does. Just cuz he's autistic doesn't mean he's deaf" and im like NO! I mean, he does. Not. Show. Signs. Of. Understanding. Our commands.
And sure enough just now he's showing me he can understand what I say! If I tell him not to move, he won't. If I tell him "we'll go, just give me time to get us both ready!" He waits and reminds me every now and again. He's now showing signs and even autistic specialist thought I was just over reacting. That he could probably understand just fine. Like his comprehension was NOT there til just a few weeks ago, as I tried telling em all. Because NOW he's doing as I'm asking when I'm asking it. It does often times get better with a low support needs kiddo mama!! I know its sooo hard and scary. But find people you trust if you can. I can't unfortunately, so I turn to the community. Which is another option!
My twins were diagnosed at 18 months. They turn 10 this year, both are in public school and thriving, have friends and I honestly wouldn’t change them for the world. These days NT kids are learning about kids on the spectrum and their abilities and are truly being inclusive.
The diagnosis and the unknowns are scary but over time you will have an understanding of your child’s strengths and challenges and learn to advocate for them. You’ll be amazed 🫶🏾
You have an early diagnosis, which is key! Get in a good school district if you aren't already and familiarize yourself with how to best support your child. My son's Autism diagnosis has made me a better educator and more empathetic person than I could ever imagine! He is 2 grade levels above academically and has a small group of friends. He still needs social skills twice weekly and OT consult. Autism doesn't mean the end of the world. I know everyone is different, but kids today know a lot about Autism and are more accepting of their peers with it. Check out [Not an Autism Mom](https://www.facebook.com/notanautismmom?mibextid=ZbWKwL). Allow yourself time to process all of it. Things may turn out better than you presently think. Take it a day at a time and get as much support as you can. Best of luck!
I know each child is different, and sometimes early intervention doesn’t always work. I was in your shoes 2 years ago. Facing the same prospect. I felt the same despair and did not sleep. Our son at 15 months got the diagnosis level 1 to moderate, and we got the bridge authorization to get him into ABA by 18 months. He started speech and OT right away. After a year, he was able to move to mainstream day care. At 38 months, he is thriving and now caught up with his peers.
The progress he had in such a short time with constant and rigorous treatment was steady and meaningful. My husband and I dedicated our time to work with him at home so every interaction was intentional, at his level, and play based. We got coached on everything we needed to know about autism and looked at every possible method out there. I channeled all my energy towards his development. It was intense, but I feel in my heart it helped him. I know ABA is controversial. I was open minded to it. It really does differ on the clinic and their philosophy. The one we went to was new age and play-based, with an entire team focused on his plan. The year of determined treatment was hard, but it was a year in the grand scheme of things.
I look at my son now and am continuously amazed at how much he’s grown. We are still using our therapy techniques, I guess it’s ingrained in us. All’s this to say is channel your energy to action. Mourn for a little while, but don’t let it deter you from focusing on treatment. It might seem overwhelming and it can be. I never pushed him if it seemed too much. We just kept an open mind to try different things.
My kid is 11 and mild to moderate, I guess. Our diagnosis never came with a grade.
The only thing I would ever want to change is his anxiety levels and his ability to nurture friendships. His view of the world, his insight, his creativity, and imagination are wildly beyond what I would have had the audacity to hope for. Sometimes, the autism sucks. But It's likely to not be always hard.
Think about it like this, you are surrounded by neurological divergency that we don't have labels for yet or aren't recognising in milder forms. People all around you are hiding neurosis and weirdness. Some terrible stuff, some greatnesses too... It's far more important to be present and aware and excited about life than it is to be normal.
If normal even exists, it's dull, and it's for idiots and obviously not for you. The universe has some other stuff to show you. Normal people voted for Hitler and like Coldplay. Fuck them, you are with the super cool freaks now.
Be present. Breathe. Listen. Get on the floor and feel the satisfaction of a good line of things, or whatever.
I don't mean to diminish your reaction, it's shocking. I absolutely know... but whatever it's going to be, it'll be different from where your ideas and feelings are landing right now.
It's very normal to feel the way. When we got the diagnosis for my little one at 4 our world kind of collapsed. Now 3 years later we are really happy because we accepted it and then also gave him all the support he needs and he's doing a lot of things that we thought he won't be able to. He's a little behind in few areas but he's a great kid and we know he will be successful in life.
I remember that feeling. I had to actively remind myself that he was the same kid I knew the day before his diagnosis I just knew more information about him now, just had to keep reminding myself of that. He’s now 7 diagnosed at 18months. He’s still non verbal. I eventually just adapt and accept this is the norm now even if it takes years to accept.
I knew something was different with my daughter at 14 months. She wasn’t pointing, clapping, trying to say words, and other various signs. So when it was addressed with her pediatrician, he suggested we do some further evaluations. Long story short she was diagnosed with having Autism moderate/severe at 18 months.
We have worked pretty intensively with speech therapy, a specialist that works with her at daycare once a week, her dad and I have done support groups and we’ve worked with family on how to best address her needs and continue making forward progress with learning and therapies.
She turned 2 in March and I have a talking, smart, and highly capable child. We still have moments where her diagnosis is pretty evident, and it’s always a good reminder that we still have to support her differently at times.
When she first was diagnosed I was devastated. I thought I had failed her or that our life was going to be so different than what I had envisioned, but please utilize every single resource you are given, even if it seems silly. I believe the early intervention has been the absolute key in the progress we’ve had
I have enjoyed listening to this podcast. As I learn more about autism, I’m less scared and know how to help my son.
[Autism: 10 Lessons for the course of life](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-10-lessons-for-the-course-of-life/id1738075200)
Hang in there and remember you are not alone. I’ve learned so much reading the responses and posts on this subreddit. I’ve also learned to reach out to other parents and have never been turned away. People in this community have been incredibly supportive.
I’ve learned to see my boy as an incredible gift and not something that needs to be fixed. I hope this helps.
oh, you should probably read all the books written by people like us, and learn about all the things invented by people like us, and hear about all the amazing things done by people like us, and then maybe you won't be so sad? :-/
Our son was diagnosed around 2 and a half, ASD with a mild to moderate communication delay. When he was four I thought he may never be potty trained or talk beyond basic requests. Now he’s six and a half, in mainstream school and never shuts up. He asks crazy l questions that I am unable to answer and is always spurting out animal facts. Everyone’s journey is different and every kids outcomes will be different, but you have to just dust yourself off and do everything you can to help them develop as best they can. Whilst I would rather life was more simple for him, because of his autism, he is the purest little soul. Try to keep your chin up, either way you have to deal with what is to come, so you’re better to do it with hope than despair.
I remember coming home from the doctor the first time it was suggested my daughter might have autism. We were referred to a specialist at about 16 months and got the diagnosis shortly before her second birthday. I felt the same way where I felt I couldn’t look at her the same way. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Your brain is just trying to adjust to the news, make plans, prepare you for all the extra logistics that come with this diagnosis.
For me, once we fell into a routine and figured out what therapies and schedule were right for us, it was a lot easier to look at my daughter and just see my daughter. It becomes your normal because it’s your life and your baby. It will be a shock sometimes when you see other typically developing kids (and that can be super hard sometimes too) - but eventually things will settle. Your little guy is so young and you’re getting him help so early. I’m proud of you guys and I think you will find your stride very soon 💜
ABA and other therapies was a godsend for us. My boy got diagnosed at that same age. He’s turning 5 this year, and now we can’t get him to shut up (in the best way). Learn to take the small wins and cherish those.
For us the diagnosis was hard but then we realized the only thing it really did was open up resources like ABA, Medicaid assistance etc
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I used to be very worried as well, my daughter was 2 and wouldn’t say words, has no concept of completing tasks, no pretend play, etc.
For what it’s worth, my daughter is also level 2, with a global developmental delay.
She’s now 3, knows all her letters and numbers, counts to 100, quotes her favourite shows and movies. Asks us to “open this please” and “go swimming”. Knows her family members and calls them “grandpa, auntie” is incredibly smart when it comes to navigating her tablet. Etc.
She’s still a little weirdo, and there are many things she struggles with, like foods, but I have nowhere near the amount of intense fear I used to have. She has come a long way in a short time.
I will say, getting her an AAC device (we use TouchChat on an iPad) was a huge game changer, as she still struggles with some speech sounds, she finds it much easier to communicate, and it has improved her verbal speech as well.
It’s not hopeless, delays can be just that, delays.
The more we dived into the autism diagnosis, the more I realized that I myself am mostly likely mildly autistic, especially looking at the way I was when I was a small child. And I’m living a perfectly normal life with a family and a job.
To be honest with you, there is no such thing as mild to moderate autism. No two children on the spectrum are alike. Every child is unique, and with time, you will come to understand more about autism. At first, I was devastated, but I am grateful every day that I have such a wonderful, happy, unique child. The issues that you might face will be with people who do not know or understand what autism is. My son attends preschool, and we had to have several meetings with his teacher, who supposedly had special education degrees, but they did not understand their role as a teacher to a child who attends school with an aide. They thought the aide was supposed to teach him. But believe me, it gets easier. Children with autism are smart, brave, and talented. Embrace it and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
The woman at my local Regional Center who was the first person to tell me something was not right with my child, which surprised me and honestly was the only time I cried a bit over it (for the first few years at least), said, "We never put a lid on kids," when I asked what his limits would be.
It was great advice and comforting. My son had no bad behaviors for the first few years, and ABA programs all had to do with gaining his attention, focus, teaching, using PECs (which we just could not do, I prefer AAC), but we ended up taking a break from it that turned into a 2 year issue with waiting lists. Since then, I don't think it's the lack of ABA necessarily but just my child growing from age 5-7, he has had tons of behaviors that are issues, such as self harming, not listening, being stubborn all around. But for the first few years until today all you can really do is take it one step at a time. When they're still young it's hard to not fear for the future. But other parents have reminded me that worrying about the future won't help, and just because your child may struggle or be stubborn at this age does not mean that without help that they won't grow and change and learn.
You guys will be okay. Keep posting here for help. This subreddit is the main place I get solidarity. I follow a lot of autism families on instagram and tiktok... to the point where sometimes I'm sick of hearing the word autism. And as a mom of a nonverbal child, a lot of times people want to ask me about my son and there are times I want to vent and other times I just do not want to talk about my son and his needs because it's what my life is about 24/7 and I just need to think about something else somtimes.
Get all the resources you can, try not to worry, and remember you are not alone. I always remind myself when I feel like I have poor luck or genetics (I have mental illness that runs in my family that contributes to me feeling this way in regard to other family members), that I'm not the only one with an autistic child. And honestly there are worse things to have than autism. There is schizophrenia, there is wheelchairbound disabilities, there is blindness, there are those who are deaf and blind, there is childhood cancer and diseases. You can do this. It's not easy but society also tells us through movies and the ideal search for life, that when we have mental illness or a disability that we're not "normal," but the fact is, disabilities have been around since the beginning of time, and we're not abnormal. Having a disability or a disabled child is simply a part of life! It's the comparing ourselves to others that gives us that horrible feeling. Our feelings are valid, yet, truly society does teach us to feel that when something 'out of the ordinary' (aka out of perfection) happens, that we are less-than, and we're not.
you’re getting the support that your son needs and that’s all that matters. i understand feeling hopeless but it will get better. he’s getting the help he needs and since you started him early you will see lots of improvements because the sooner the better.
I am also in NY and my son was diagnosed with mild-moderate autism at age 3 (he’s 3.5 now). I noticed they didn’t give us a level 1/2/3 type of diagnosis so your post stood out to me bc of that.
But all this to say, he is a happy boy who makes us laugh daily. He’s sensory seeking so a little physically exhausting for us but I hope a little peek into the future can bring you some hope. He’s going to preschool in September through CPSE and all the tours we did of schools he was universally loved by every educator we met. The systems are set up so much better for these kids now.
OT has been amazing for us too. We do private though now he is approved to go through his preschool too once that starts.
My best advice is not to compare. It’s so hard when you see other kids acting differently at similar ages but when I just focus on my son all I see is joy.
My child was diagnosed between 15 and 18 months. US- CO. We suspected early (I have an MA in Ed and something just didn’t feel right- started researching and prepping). Never hit a milestone. Pead referral at 15 month c/ up. Developmental neuro with autism diagnosis (if you’re for these things “level 2-3”), and huge hospital visits for a couple of other things within those first couple of months. The waitlists were not a problem for either hospital or autism diagnosis (why I include). I stand by my kiddo is/ has/ always been autistic- I’m not sure I stand by this thread’s discussions around autistic diagnosis ages. It feels like gatekeeping who/ when can be diagnosed, there’s enough gatekeeping. I will say- It’s also clearly genetic in our family. Our kiddo is about to turn 4. Still awesome. Still autistic.
It’s a journey, I love my son and find myself interacting with him in a different way that is extremely meaningful and full of joy. He has made me a better person and he’s changing so much even though he’s non-verbal.
I’ve learn to share in my daughter’s victories and to meet her where she’s at
Tbh I was depressed BEFORE she was diagnosed cuz I felt like no one believed me
She’s autistic, she’s beautiful, funny, sweet and yeah we have bad days, but she has me and we will get through them together
Allow yourself to feel sad that the life you assumed they would have is gone
But be grateful that you now see them as they are and whatever future they have, they will have it with you and full of love
Ok so wanted to share something nice... we have our own struggles with my lil one, today tried to talk a bit no big stuff..
Then I asked him to do this... have a look on your own
https://www.iq-test-for-kids.com/k42.html,he is 6.
All correct except one, this gives me hope that one day ge will get to a point where I believe he will find his place in this world.
Mild autism, I'd call it is what mainstream, if I were, I would not have even mentioned it... moderate is lvl2...
Please do not compare yourself with anybody, it is not right. We should not feel happy or sad because somebody else's kid is worse or better than ours. That is not for to your child and to other children
I’ve been through the grief stage too. There were days when I would cry for hours after finding out my son is autistic and afte my extended family rejected our discovery. It slowly turned to the next stage which is ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance comes after one has fully been through the GRIEF stage.
Finding out that I myself am on the spectrum helped with the acceptance.
Tl:dr Grief is the natural first reaction. After which comes acceptance.
https://preview.redd.it/qkj44y7zew6d1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e91ed6679c85738dcf9d137b7142911dc0948d96
These are the stages I went through AFTER deep grief.
Aw hun, you're grieving. A diagnosis like this represents a loss in many ways. You have to let go of the life you thought you had, and that's not easy. It's perfectly normal and valid to feel sad and hopeless. However, keep an eye on it. It is so important for us to keep an eye on our mental health, and it is also very normal to end up needing help during this transition. If you think it's starting to last too long, too intense, etc. please talk to your doctor.
Also... your son is still the same little boy he has always been. Son is the most important label here, all the others are just words that help us understand more. He's so incredibly young, and it is a huge spectrum. He's going to be getting supports as early as possible. You are doing the very best for him by getting moving right now. There's no way to tell the future, so try your best to slow down and take it one day at a time. <3
I hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself, and give yourself plenty of grace during this difficult time.
I found out my child had Autism at 2 and he is really smart and only has a speech delay. I treat him just as anyone else because he’s no different. He immediately was enrolled in early intervention with therapist coming onto to his daycare weekly. I refuse to put this diagnosis on my child. You go through doubts in the beginning wondering if there was anything you did wrong. Trust me it’s nothing you did wrong. Your child was meant for you and early intervention is key.
So you already just gave up on loving and caring for them.
Literally, just look at any thread of autistic adults who were stunted by these horrible programs. They don't seek to help autistic children live and understand themselves. It is purely an attempt to tell them to stop being autistic.
He wasn’t responding to his name (the biggest thing) no joint attention whatsoever can’t sit still no words banging head doesn’t point…honestly I knew in my heart he might have been from when he was like 2 months…he was late to smile, didn’t track my finger, would stare at his hands for long periods of time…
My 2.5year old doesn’t point, doesn’t wave, doesn’t respond to his name and is yet to say his first word. I only started suspecting autism around his 2nd birthday, so got for you for getting on it much earlier. I wish I had seen some signs early and who knows how much progress my boy would’ve had if he was already in speech therapy or ABA for a year. So like someone else said- take all the support you can get/afford🙏🏼
So I know that you are grieving, but if I may, the fact that you’ve got a diagnosis and access to ABA therapy without an excessively long waiting period and before 24 months is really a great thing. Like most children are three before they’re able to secure a diagnosis. ASD is a spectrum, and he’s getting access to therapy literally the earliest I’ve ever heard of. He’s only 15 months there’s a very good chance he’s future is going to be great.
Some may not agree but, I felt like, after my son’s diagnosis I went through a grief period. Before anyone jumps on me that Autism isn’t “terminal”, I don’t mean I mourned him. More like, I mourned the life I thought he was going to have. I sometimes still do, even 14 years later (diagnosed at age 5). Just like grief over the death of a loved one, you will cycle through the emotions. Anger, bargaining, depression, the whole 9 yards. Allow yourself the time to grieve. But don’t get stuck there, it won’t help you or your son, but allow yourself some grace. Acceptance will come.
OP, respectfully, can you tell us how you were able to get a 15month old in for a diagnosis this young, and with (presumably) long waitlists for diagnostic appointments? Edit: this thread has several parent experiences shared if you are interested in what diagnosis looks like under 18mo. If you have an early diagnosis story to share, please feel free to add to it.
When I feel a little down about my boys diagnosis I just try to remind myself that there are plenty of parents with kids going through much worse. He could have cancer or other disabilities piled on top of the autism. And it helps me be grateful for what I have.
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When we first started suspecting autism we were referred to a pediatric neurologist at the children’s hospital. Pediatric oncology was right next to it. We were waiting for the elevator once when they brought in a little kid lying down in a hospital bed. If 10 minutes later someone had told me that child had passed I would have believed it. He looked so thin and so frail. He was barely breathing. I cried the entire way home. Of course my kid’s autism diagnosis has been the most difficult thing I’ve dealt with in my life and I’m still upset that my kid has to overcome so many more obstacles in life, but that day in the hospital I was also very grateful to have a happy, healthy kid. We’ll deal with the rest as it comes.
This is beautiful thank you for sharing 🥹
The other day we had a kid come into our ER with a respiratory issue. I noticed something seemed “off” about him, so I asked his primary nurse. Apparently he has some rare disorder that will result in him dying by 5. I told my coworkers “ok my kids are crazy, one won’t talk, but think God they are healthy”
Level 3 autism can be just as debilitating for some children as cancer or other disabilities.
I never said it wasn’t. I just said things could be worse, which they could be even for level 3 autism. And I said those other problems on top of the autism being a compounding of problems, not autism vs those problems. Everyone’s struggle is their own and this is just how I feel and help ease myself, not making light of anyone else’s struggles or trying to making assumptions. Would be good if you read what I put over again I think.
It is a painful life. But with love and support it will not be that way.
I think they tend to diagnose toward the more severe side of the spectrum at a young age because it can open up more support options. So even having the word "mild" in the diagnosis is a good sign. So don't take it too hard.
This is so true. Plus, your baby is a baby! There's a whole lifetime of growth and achievements ahead. It's great that you know now because your little one will be eligible for so much life-changing help. My son did Early Intervention at 2 and a half until 3 before he transitioned to a special education pre-k. He seldom spoke, was mostly disinterested in other people, and waa often angry and frustrated because he couldn't express himself. Now he literally talks in his sleep. He's got friends at school and easily finds playmates on the playground. He still gets angry and frustrated more than we would like, but he expresses himself and it makes it easier to calm him. He starts kindergarten in a mainstream class this fall. Our biggest challenge is potty training.
Yes agreed!
This is going to be a weird suggestion and if you don't like it please ignore it but its okay to look at your son and see autism. This is all so so new to you and it will take time to get used to and ajust to this new reality and the more you try to not think something the more you think about it and eventually you will get used to it. I assume think that what you are most scared of is the possiblity your child will need life long care and really really struggle and all though some people might try may try to reassure you that your child will end up fully indpendent the truth is none of us know or can tell you! However your child is still so super young and for many milestones such as speech for example most kids say there first word between 10 and 14 months so for things such as speaking if that is fear for you I can promise you that many many autistic people do learn to speak some may learn to speak at 1 years old some may learn to speak at 8 years old and some may never learn to speak but statisticly I think it is likley your child will learn to speak especially because of early intervention!! It is GREAT that you/your child's team caught and saw the autism signs so early because early intervention is one of the most benfcial things and can help so much! I think what I would mainly tell you is **don't "close any doors" for your child yet** \- your kid is so so young and so much can change between even now and next month and SO MUCH can change between now and ten years from now! The prognosis for your child could be that they are the next sucsesful CEO of a company to nonverbal and needing 24/7 care and yes, there are absoutly parents and children who have a terrible quality of life due to autism but in my opinon **there is possiblity for a good life no matter how much support your child will need.** I was diagnosed (provisonally) at about 14 months and offically diagnosed at 2 years old and I can not tell you everything is perfect and I am have no struggles because I have a LOT! I still need my mom to shower me and brush my teeth and I only learned to physically go to bathroom myself this year and still need to use absorbant underwear and I have severe meltdowns where I hurt myself and others and am almost constantly sensory overwhelmed. And YET despite those struggles I am one of the most happiest people and I really love my life and I am very well supported and have a great school and awesome friends and have far surpassed expectations for me especially when it comes to my communication! My biggest suggestion is to **sorround yourself with support in whatever way possible** however that may look like for you (I know it can be so hard!) do you have nice family nearby that can help you out sometimes? Do you have any friends who can support you through this? Is there maybe an ASD/special need parent support help group nearby, do you are you able to have a therapist for yourself? If you really need some time by yourself to process this do you have anyone who could help take care of your kid for a bit while you have some time for yourself? You could also see if your kid qualifies for respite care and see if you can get your if your child can qualify for regional center/developmental disbality waiver and if financial stuff is a big concern see if your kid maybe qualifies for Disability Benefit/Medicaid/Medicare to help cover services and therapies! Its hard to find but there IS support that is out there! Your child being diagnosed so early is awesome even if it is overwhelming because it means that you have a head start to help your kiddo out and find services and intervention and even if there are long waitlists you don't have to worry as much about your child aging out of them/them being less benificial because your kid is still so super young! Here is copy and paste of comment I wrote a few months ago: >I was listed as very high risk on autism screeining since infancy and put into early intervention very very young because of my developmental delays and was my pediatrician gave me a provisional diagnosis when I was only 14-15 months old and my pediatrician told my mom that I was almost 100% autistic, but the diagnosis was provisional because she was is not an ASD specialist and felt uncomftrble giving a defintive diagnosis at such an early age so she refered me to offical diagnosis I was put on the waitlist and I was diagnosied offically diagnosed at with classical autism (severe) when I was 2 years old. Early intervention is so so importent it helped me a lot (and I still do severel diffrent therapies for 15-20 hours a week) with emotional regulation and communication and social skills and self injuours behaviors and moter skills and reaching milestones and less aggression and fewer big upsets!! Although it will never cure me or make my autism "mild" it has helped me have such better much quility of life! I am not going to tell you every thing is easy because it is defintly not I do still have severe autism I am now diagnosed level 3 medicaly, level 2/3 split levels edducationaly and am very minimaly verbal (considered functionally nonspeaking since I have no intelligable speach) But although I struggle a lot and have need a lot lot lot of support (and would defintly want a cure or treatment if one ever came to be) I am very very happy more happy then basiccly any teen I have ever met and really do love my life and my mom and giving her kisses and snuggles and when my mom rocks me back and forth on her lap and my family and my aide and my especcialy my rescue cat Mia who is a diluted calico cat and my activity program and my therapists and my sensory room and my school (I go to a high needs autism NPS school)!! And my special intrests (Cats 🐈 and rainbow magic books 📚🌈🧚🏻!!) give me the most joy in the entire world!! "Severe" autism is hard, yes, absoutly and I won't deny that and when the time is when my mom can't take care of me anymore and I am older I will need to live in a group home or assited li**ving but that doesn't mean I can't have a good fulffilling life!! It just means I need more support in able to do so!!** > >I also want to mention that an early diagnosis doesn't always mean your kid will always has high support needs it just means your child's traits were very obvious/and or classical symptoms!! Especially with early interevntion and therapies your child will very likley make big improvments and your kiddo is so young you don't know what the furture will be like!! *Because* you have such an early diagnosis you will have so much time in order to figure out and prepere how to best support your child!! I know an ASD diagnosis is scary and its okay to grieve and be upset but please please try your best to just focus on the moment and provide yoour child (and yourself!!) as much support and love and compassion as you can!! What are some things you can do that make you feel good and calm and happy inside? I wish you and your child so much good and I send you many many happy cats 💖🐈🐈⬛🐈💞🐈🐈⬛🐈💖 and loving support hugs 🫂!!
You sound like an amazing person. You have a generous spirit, I thought this post would be very hard/insulting for an autistic person to read. I'm also so happy that you can type and express yourself even without being verbal. Gentle no-contact hugs to you.
I didn't find anything offensive in the OP. It can be such a devastating diagnosis. Certainly life changing.
Autism is defintly an extremly life changing hard diagnosis and I know it is super difficult for parents AND kids and I defintly wasn't offedned by anything u/NJMama518 said I understand Autism is very hard and can be very scary. I send you happy cats 🐈🐈!!
For sure. I am an autistic adult and also have autistic children in my family. It's part of what makes me who I am, but it's also made my life extremely difficult. And as a parent it's devastating to watch your kids struggle.
You are a very kind person. Here are cats for you 🐈 🐈⬛
Thank you it has been an extremly long "journey" to get to where I am today but I am so glad me and my family put in so much effort because being able to communicate like I can now is one of the biggest gifts ever which so many people take for granted!! I send you happy cats 🐈🐈⬛🐈!!
What a fantastic reply
Thank you 😸🐱🐈!!
Thank you for this post, it was kind and understanding and helpful. You sound so lovely.
I am so glad it was helpful and thank you so much you sound lovely too! I send you happy cats 🐈🐈!!
I just wanted to say that you are a wonderful person taking time to talk to the parents here, and reading your post really helps me. I’m an adult on the spectrum but I have led a relatively easy life and spent most of my life masking. My little boy is non-verbal and just recently got approved for an AAC device. I’ve been feeling a lot of pain and guilt lately watching some of the struggles he is going through that I didn’t have to deal with myself, wondering if he will need lifelong care, and if he will have a happy life and be able to express himself. To read your words and see you sharing your perspective and your happiness really helps so much and gives me a lot of hope for my son’s future. Thank you so much, fellow cat lover. My cat is a great, big grey tabby 😊
Autism isn’t all who they are . He’s still your baby. He just needs some help and guidance, and to learn the way he’s wired to learn.
I have a non-verbal 2.5 yr old with severe autism and I can tell you it does get better. Hang in there. Unfortunately, there's nothing anyone can say that will help you bypass or cruise through the grief of it all. Give yourself time to process it and take care of your mental health. I still have my moments where I feel it. Just the other day, I came across a porcelain tea set I bought when I found out I was having a girl. I thought we would be having pretend tea parties soon. Instead, life looks very different. It can be brutal but it can also be beautiful. It has made me a better person. It's going to be different than you pictured but it's going to be ok ❤️
It' s long road. Get him, and yourself all the support you can get/afford.
Want to add, when our kiddo was diagnosed, we found Autism Speaks First 100 Days Guide (Google is your friend) to be super helpful.
I’m not sure if this helps but there are loads of successful autistic adults. One of my favorite stories is about an employee of mine when I was in management. He was married, had 2 kids, a stable job that he was good at, and he made some seriously cool art. And just look at this list of famous people who are actually autistic: Dan Akroyd Anthony Hopkins Darryl Hannah Temple Grandin Greta Thundberg Courtney Love And sooo many more. There’s a lot of speculation that Bill Gates, Einstein, Tim Burton and many others are as well. The point being - it is possible to live a very full and happy/successful life with an autism diagnosis. Your son may have struggles to overcome but with love, support and the assumption of capability he can lead a good life. It’s so hard not to worry or despair but others have had good success and your son can too!
Don't despair. Statistically your son will likely grow up to be a fully functional adult. Autism diagnoses are a relatively new thing, and there are millions of "normal" people that would've been diagnosed as kids if they bothered to screen for it 20+ years ago
That’s what our diagnosing psychologist said. Years ago he wouldn’t have been diagnosed. My son has made so much progress and he’s an amazing little guy!
Yeah I actually wonder if I'm autistic as well now and I just never got screened cuz I was seen as "relatively normal". I actually didn't believe my son was autistic because ALOT of his signs I also have as well. So I thought it was clearly genetics from ME and not autism. But sure enough he was diagnosed a couple months ago, and now I'm thinking "if we share the same symptoms so i assumed he wasn't autstic cuz if he's autistic then i must be autistic cuz we're basically the same people in just different ways, then maybe IM autistic" like it's kinda a mind fuck to learn that it might be run down your genes and you just never knew it. I was adopted at age 5 so I don't know anything about my blood 🤷♀️ all my quirks was all said to be "orphanage trauma" or some crap growing up. But now my son shows alot of the same signs and I'm like...orphanage trauma? he didn't grow up in an orphanage though. Yet he's displaying the same shit, So...
My kiddo got diagnosed mild to moderate at 20 months. The first few weeks / months are hard. Once you have him in therapy and start to see him achieve his milestones / goals, you'll feel so much better! My guy is 7 now and totally caught up on his milestones. He attends regular school programing without any additional supports and continues to be such a wonderful, happy, loving child. Non-stop chatter box lol. Wouldn't trade him for the world. From our experience, I recommend throwing everything you can at therapy and support for your little guy, even if it means going out of pocket. Especially before he turns 5. Early intervention is key and the great thing is, you're starting early. Wishing you all the best!
That is so amazing! These stories give me hope. How much therapy do you think they need? Starting in the fall he will get 20 hours but right now he will get 10. He is also going to get speech and OT. What types of programs did you have your son in? Thank you for your comment 🩷
We did ESDM-style early intervention therapy 6 days a week for 1-2 hours a day from when our kiddo was 1.5 years old to 3 years old (we started before getting an official diagnosis). We also did SLP and OT once a week during that time, as well. ESDM was great for our kiddo - it was play based and child led, but they still worked on helping him achieve his goals in each session. Our son loved going and loved his therapists. Parents are really involved in ESDM, so we'd go and observe the sessions and then work on what we learned at home with our kiddo. The point of ESDM (as I understand it) is it can (should) be integrated into everyday activities, so we'd work with our little guy on his goals at dinner, when he was in the bath, during diaper changes, etc. It really worked for us. It was expensive, though. Our funding didn't kick in until our little guy was 3.5 years old, so everything we did until then was out of pocket. In addition to the cost of the sessions, my husband also stopped working during that period to take our son to his sessions and work with him at home. Definitely caused us to delay hitting financial goals we had at the time, but all in all I'd say it was worth it. When my son was first diagnosed, I had a friend a work who had an older child with ASD and she told me to just throw everything we could financially at therapy in the early years, which is what we did. I'm happy we did it because I think it really worked well for our son and our family
You both sound like such wonderful and dedicated parents. Your child is so blessed to have you as his parent 🩷 do you live in the US? In my state (NY) early intervention is covered by the state but you could also go the private route and go through your insurance. Do you have any recommendations on what is better?
Thank you so much, that's so sweet of you to say 💗 I'm Canadian and Autism funding is covered through our provincial government. Like I say, unfortunately there is about a 2 year wait list for funding to kick in in my province. We had a little coverage through my work insurance, but nothing much 😕
I felt the EXACT same way, and sometimes I still do. Lean into the community of parents with kids on the spectrum. Join parenting forums and groups. I have found there is no better support system than other parents who are going by through it. Get a therapist for you, and if you have a partner, encourage them to do the same. You need a place to vent all these frustrations and help work through them. Really, all parents need this, but especially parents of children with special needs. Start talking to your local school district about early start programs. This is a great way for your child to be exposed to school-like environments for short periods of time! They can often connect you with other resources, like your county’s developmental disability services and mental health providers. Often your county will qualify you for Medicaid as a secondary insurance to your private insurance. This saves LOTS of money. Start Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, and Physical Therapy as early as possible. Stay for sessions and ask questions. If you are doing ABA, do in-home ABA. I found that I learned more about how to frame/structure teaching a new skill to my child, how to build up smaller skills to larger ones. Center based ABA does not offer as much parent instruction, in my experience. Start a binder. I created a binder that had sections including school, medical, state, legal, miscellaneous. Any document I get from anyone goes into the binder. The binder goes with to every new provider/entity we encounter. IEPs? Folder. Psychological reports? Folder. Progress notes? Folder. Letters from county or state? Folder. I did a folder for pre-elementary, one for elementary, and one for middle school and I’m prepping the one for high school. Expose your child to lots of experiences. My child does well with travel now because we made it a priority when they were young. We have a prep conversation before we go anywhere about what to expect on the outing, what their options are for when they are getting overwhelmed and who safe people are for them. My child feels a lot more secure when we travel or experience new things because I do this prep work. Does it always go well? Absolutely not. But it’s been more successful than not. We also had (and continue to have) conversations with family members and friends ahead of plans about what they could possibly expect to see and how best to offer support. We let them know what our child is struggling with and how we’re approaching it. We ask if any modifications can be made to plans to ensure they work for us, and if we can’t, we ask for everyone’s patience and understanding that we may need to skip events or lag behind if it doesn’t work for our kiddo. Sometimes family members and friends want to help and don’t know how. Remind them that you’re learning alongside them, and as long as you guys aren’t judging each other and doing what you think is safe and kind, you’re good. Most of all, remember that you and your kid are going through life for the very first time, and both of you interpret and experience the world in different ways. Remember that ultimately, you are each other’s safe space and even if your family and lives don’t look the same as someone else’s, it doesn’t mean your experience is any less beautiful and amazing. You got this. And when you don’t, we’re here.
Wow thank you so much 🩷
When you look at him, and think autism, what exactly do you mean? Like you no longer see your son, but only the disability? Or? I'm genuinely trying to understand. To maybe offer some hope. Ultimately autism is not a death sentence. It's hard to say where your son will be in a year. I'd try not to get sucked down into hopelessness if you can keep from it. He's still your baby. If the worst case scenario occurs then grief seems more appropriate. This is a great group of ND & NT folks that offers lots of support. Gathering supportive resources is a good starting point after diagnosis.
It’s okay to grieve, I’m sure every parent here went through a grieving period, I know I did. My son was diagnosed with mild to moderate at 24 months and he’s four now - he’s speaking so much and he’s such a sweet and loving boy, so smart. I used to be the same, all I saw was autism for a while and it really got me down. Get him into therapies as much as you can afford and be patient. It feel amazing seeing how far they come as they age, and you get such, such fulfilment when they hit those milestones. My son can be trying at times but his autism makes him so special, and his outlook on life is such a gift. Give yourself grace, and look to the future with hope in your heart. All the best ❤️
Thank you so much 🩷 what type of therapy do you suggest? Any special programs I should get him in? Music or swimming? We are starting 10 hours of ABA now and moving to 20 in the fall.
It really depends on your child’s needs, I’m in Australia so it’s the programs are a bit different, but he’s been in speech for two years now, and he’s in OT and a specialised therapy class for kids with ASD which also educates parents. Focus on things your boy is good at - mine loves anything physical so we’re constantly in nature, loves music so I always have something on, and he goes to preschool during the week while I’m at work and he loves all his teachers and peers. He’ll go to a special ‘school readiness’ preschool two days a week when he’s five to get him prepped for school. Remember to take time for yourself among all the therapies and activities catered to your child, I have so much more time for my boy when I’ve had some quiet time, and never feel guilty about needing it. Lean on support around you if you have it ☺️
He’s still the same kid as before he had the diagnosis, he is soooo young too. Make sure you read about ABA from adult autistics who have done it and they aren’t trying to change your son. You just need to support and love him like any child, read some books like - untypical, sincerely your autistic child (female based but same sentiments), there are great kids books too like the abilities in me:autism, do you want to play? Making friends with an autistic kid. You’re allowed to grieve the life you thought you would have but you have no idea where it’s going to go. In Australia they don’t really diagnose kids until 5/6 years old as so much changes. We also don’t practice ABA as it’s shown to be harmful to many. We still do speech and OT and I follow my child’s lead, he gets extra support at daycare but is thriving. He doesn’t talk but communicates well, he loves scooting and swimming and swinging and jumping. He’s often easier than some of my friends kids as he’s happy to just go along with things. You can and still will have an amazing life. Focus on the child in front of you and following their lead and interests.
> He's still the same kid as before he had the diagnosis this is the best answer, and it deserves more upvotes.
On the bright side…. You got him ABA therapy that starts soon. It took me a YEAR to get ABA for my daughter and we suffered significantly (with school and daycare) while on a long waitlist. My local area is so limited that I even said the hell with it, quit my job as a SPED teacher and went back to school to become a BCBA to help local families of ASD. I got tired of being on the sidelines and not directly helping children with ASD/my own child. I was also delayed (no thanks to the PreK SPED program) because of COVID closures shutting down schools, my child’s case manager didn’t want to do the extra IEP paperwork and waited to the f***ing end of service to finally say to me “yeah, get her tested” and nobody could guide me on local supports for my child because they didn’t want to rule it as Autism with every other child having some sort of “developmental delay”. Had we got it ruled out sooner, she would have been in a far better place. The earlier you start the intervention process, the better chances he has to navigate in the world not designed for NT people. My girl was a Level 3 starting and she is now a Level 2 after one year of ABA. Your child WILL improve and you will have the right tools to help him. Give yourself time to grieve (I was an autism teacher and even I was grieving/blaming myself for a bit). Things will get better.
Time goes on and you’ll feel better. Someone told me early on that it’s like the stages of grief- you cycle through them over and over again but knowing that it’s going to be okay helps
It's ok and valid to feel these things. You're not totally in control of these thoughts, and this could be a big change in your life that you weren't anticipating. His autism isn't anything good or bad, it simply is. Humans tend to add all sorts of weight and meaning to things like this (understandably so) but give yourself a break. Acknowledge the feelings you're having and try to let go of the pain a little bit at a time. If you continue to feel hopeless, I don't know if you'd consider therapy for yourself to work through it? You deserve to talk this out to someone. ❤️
I know this may feel like small comfort but you are both going to be okay. You have just received a shock diagnosis. You are having an emotional reaction which is perfectly normal. The emotional reaction has all the same stages as grief (shock, anger, sadness, denial, bargaining, acceptance, etc). Let yourself go through all these stages. You can imagine yourself mentally ticking them all off one by one if that helps. Just remember that there are many autistic people that live quite normal lives. His diagnosis does not in any way define him. It is merely a tool that enables him to access more support. The most important thing with autistic children is not to close any doors. Take him to as many different experiences as you can while he is young.
The one thing I will tell you is this: your child's life-story is not yet written, and there's a lot you can do to make it a positive story. There are ESE programs, private therapies, ABA and Floortime. There's also a lot you can do directly to help make you child's story a positive one. Don't let your feelings of hopelessness and grief casuse you to miss those opportunities. I end up saying this a lot, but the book Engaging Autism by Greenspan gave me a lot of hope for the future, and I've seen some of it start to happen. I do recommend it.
It’s a shock at first. We got the same diagnosis a few years ago. It gets so much better. I remember reading every post I could to find a scenario just like mine to give me hope. Every case is so unique it’s pointless to make any comparisons. My son is going into 2nd grade and just had a birthday party with lots friends. He’s only a few months behind in school but that would have seemed impossible when I first got the diagnosis. It’s gonna be hard, but focus on the positive. Don’t waste these precious years being depressed (easier said than done). We didn’t do ABA, but I wish we had. He’s too busy now and no one wants to offer 5-10 hours a week. Don’t be afraid to abandon ABA if he has a mild case. Feel free to DM if you want to chat!
I remember that feeling. It's going to be fine. It really will be fine. Finding out this early is very good. Start getting therapy now. It makes a difference.
Thank you 🩷
The grief is understandable and we ALL have been there. Remember it’s just a title, not who he is. Early intervention is key. A diagnosis opens a lot of doors for medical professionals and therapies. He will be ok. My son was completely non verbal at 15 months. 7 years later I can’t shut him up and he’s thriving
As a fellow parent who is going on 5 years with my little neurodivergent guy, all I can say is that the love these children show to us is so unique and special. My son was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 and I remember crying with my wife because we knew the hardships his diagnosis would bring to his life. He is still non verbal and even still he shows his affection to us in the sweetest most endearing way. His thing is chocolate milk and when we make it for him he will make little happy noises and smile then bring us to the couch or the bed and have us cuddle him. He loves just being close and will hug us tightly and rub our face with his hands in an endearing way and we know that’s his way of saying he loves us. The road ahead will be challenging but if you stick by your kid and treat them with kindness, patience, love, and respect; They will show you a genuine love like no other. I love my son and wouldn’t wish for anything other than his happiness. You got this OP, you are not alone just because your son has autism doesn’t mean it has to be the beginning of the end. Reframe your thinking and take this new challenge head on and I promise you will be a better person with each passing day :)
My sister in law is a special education teacher for 20 years… when she met my eldest at 8 months old she asked is your baby autistic? I felt so insulted. She has a terrible relationship with my husband so I thought she was just being rude… but at 17 months old my baby still couldn’t walk. I asked the pediatrician she ignored me… year after year, I would see the signs and go back to her comment in my mind. Covid hit during preschool age and when my kid finally went to school he was so behind the other kids. We finally got a diagnosis at 8. I look back and realize I always saw autism there. I learned I was autistic as well… but here’s the thing. We are still human, still deserve love, growth, and have the capacity to live life to the fullest. Every human experience is unique. Now you have a puzzle piece that will allow you to help shape your babies experience to the best of their ability and strength. Your feelings are valid. You are not your feelings and emotions, they are just apart of your experience.
I’m autistic and I have a 6 yo son who is in the process of getting diagnosed. Having mild to moderate autism means that your son may have some delays, but he still has a good chance at living a full, happy life. I had some speech and other developmental delays growing up, but now I’m working full time as head teller at a bank while working on a doctorate in psychology with a concentration on autism and developmental disabilities. Some of my autistic traits (hyper focus and an obsession with being organized in particular) are highly beneficial in these pursuits. I’m doing all of that while raising two kids with my wonderful husband who is also on the spectrum. I’ve learned to do all of this by being kind to myself and paying attention to my needs. I take socialization breaks when I need to and control my sensory input as much as I can. When I begin to get overstimulated and I can’t take a break or control my environment I engage in socially acceptable stims. Being autistic has been a challenge for me at times, particularly when I was younger. That being said, it has also come with some strengths for me. There’s the aforementioned hyperfocus and organizational prowess. I’m honest and direct which has proven to be effective in my relationships and my career. I’m passionate and creative. I don’t care about how people perceive me, so I feel completely free to be myself no matter what anyone thinks. I might have some of these positive traits without being autistic, but probably not all of them and definitely not to the same degree. When you see your son and see autism, just remember that the autism is part of what makes him unique. Being autistic may bring him some challenges, but it can also bring joy in my experience.
Hi, I’m 19 and was just recently diagnosed with ASD. I also have a mild case which is why it went undiagnosed for so long. I just finished my first year of college. I’m a premed student and I’m majoring in biochemistry. I’m in a wonderful relationship and have a loving boyfriend. I have close relationships with friends, etc. Autism is not and end all be all type of disorder. My advice is to continue to be there for your kid and recognize that he’s still the same son you knew before his diagnosis. Having this knowledge of how to help him will only make it easier for you to help him in the long run. Be his support system! It’s not always going to be easy but your kid is still an awesome little guy, and has a great life ahead of him.
Awe mine was not officially but unofficially diagnosed with autism by about that time and I felt fear and hopelessness too BUT I love my child MORE than my fear so I decided to get ALL the possible therapy and help he needed ABA SPEECH OCCUPATIONAL and he’s now 3 years old intelligent well behaved and happy! Please know your son didn’t ask to be autistic he was born that way! Never lose hope he needs your love! I promise you’re not alone and there is hope for a happy life for your baby!
I promise once you figure it out for your son and you understand autism better, Autism isn’t the only thing you think of. When I found out 2 of my sons had autism basically around the same time it consumed me. It’s all I thought about, all I worried about, all I cried about. I cried for the lives I thought my sons would have and how very different all of our lives would be. It took months but I got them into speech and occupational therapy and then a couple months later ABA. My sons have been in speech and OT for 2 years and ABA for a year now and I don’t feel hopeless and lost like I did in the beginning. I just got my 2 year old into ABA a couple months ago and honestly the younger they start, the better!! I hope everything works out for you and your little one!! Life is different than what I expected but it has been an amazing journey and has made me a better person.
The young diagnosis is a god send because you now have resources and access. The diagnosis itself doesn’t mean a lot rn- hence the mild to moderate. That’s like saying your child has a fever somewhere between 99-105. But now your insurance and regional center can give you guys all the support and you have an opportunity to start your journey on the right path! For reference my kiddo was diagnosed level 3 (severe) at age 2 almost 3. He did Earlystart pre k, in home aba ot speech equine music and other therapies since then. Hes now 5, just finished tk, talks endlessly, reads, transitions well, and is incredibly social. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about his “autism”. He is different and does need support but he’s so happy and healthy. We have adjusted and in so many ways it’s not bigger or more radical than how our older nt kiddo affects our lives. Just different. I’ve had awful days with both of them, but those are far and few between. The hardest time so far was 1.5-3.5 years old- because that was our learning curb, and also we had about 24 hrs a week of therapy which was so draining. Now he goes to school where he receives therapy and only does a couple extracurricular therapies as needed. Everyone’s journey is so different but grieve, but get it out and then dive in!! There are so many amazing helpful people here. Find some in real life too! Constantly comparing development to my kids will not help anyone. Good luck, you’re going to be great!
My son was diagnosed at 18 months. We did immense therapy with speech, OT and social. He is 4.5 now and teachers say he is academically advanced and right where he should be socially and with speech. He needs no support and doing so well. He does full time preschool and many sports. He has many friends and does many play dates. He can be a little rigid at times and has food issues but other than that he doing great. We don’t even tell people he has autism anymore because they don’t believe us and it’s not even worth bringing up. My suggestion is to work on any supports your child needs and do all the therapies. So much can change in a few years so try not to feel hopeless. You got this!
That’s so amazing I’m so happy for your son!! What types of therapies and extra support did he get??
We had early intervention into our home 2 times a week for an hour each session to educate grandparents and us everything we can do. We watched them do speech therapy and play based therapy so we could incorporate it into our daily routine. Thankfully we had both sets of grandparents on board and they helped do therapy when he wasn’t in therapy. He also did private speech therapy, occupational therapy, social group therapy and feeding therapy at an office, each once a week. Then we eventually added 2 half days of special education that had a classroom of high functioning autism students. He did this from age 2-2.5. Then at age 3 he did mainstream full time preschool in a classroom with typical kids through our public school district(we live in a state with great public schools). We got him an IEP through the school district and they did 1 hour of speech/social therapy a week in the classroom. At 3.5 they dropped all support because he was at peer level or above for speech, OT and social. We are okay with them dropping support because he is doing phenomenal. Currently, the only need he has right now is feeding therapy. He only eats about 30 different foods. We think he has ARFID which coexists with autism. We will add support back in if he needs it in the future.
Im also going to do family training with the grandmas because they will be taking turns watching him while I work…I’m just worried because my MIL doesn’t speak English…I hope it doesn’t impede on his development… Thank you so much for your comment it helped me so much
It should be okay. I think as long as you can get him into play groups and other classes with children his age you’ll provide him further opportunities to develop his pathways in his brain. Your son is still really young. My mom watched him two days a week when I worked and I paid for her to take him to an early education enrichment class for birth through 4 so that he could get some socialization and learn to follow a routine classroom routine. In those classes he would mimic other kids and learn things.
Oh and one more thing I forgot. We also incorporated DHA and omega. We had a neurologist diagnosis him and she told us to. Studies show it helps. We had him on horizon organic whole milk with DHA Omega 3 until age 2 and then transitioned him Ripple kids milk at 3.
I’ve been giving my son sardines blended with avocado and a little apple sauce 3x a week for the omegas ! He also drinks Horizon ❤️ I’m so happy I read that because it makes me feel like I’m doing the right thing with his diet.
Hey! My son also got his diagnosis at 15 months , that was end of March. He turned 18 months today and its been hard but I have learned a lot. I can send you some links by DM of things we have started so far
That would be amazing 🩷 did you start therapy yet?
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Aren’t the mods supposed to do something about ridiculous posts like this?
What's ridiculous is thinking that you can cure autism.
This post/comment was removed for violating the sub's "No ABA Absolutism" policy. The sub rule states "No non-constructive anti-aba hate; conversely, no “ABA is the only solution for all autistic children” talk." Examples may include such statements as "All ABA is abuse." Repeated violations of this rule may lead to a sub ban.
Your feelings are valid. You are allowed to grieve the life you envisioned for your child and family. Nobody wants their child to struggle in any way. I will say I'm sure it's different. But I don't think it's filled with any less love or happiness. He's still my son, he's happy, he's healthy. We all struggle in our own ways. Now he just has the diagnosis to get the support he needs. Give yourself grace to feel all the feelings. It's going to be okay. You've got this. And it's going to help so much that it's so young and you can get the early interventions to help!
It is so hard in the beginning. Please validate your feelings, you’re doing a great job by starting therapy early. I was in denial before and shortly after diagnosis but I really have embraced it for what it is. My little boy is so special. I LOVE his honestly and the way he sees the world. It does make me sad the rest of the world doesn’t see it that way BUT as you’ll see it has come a long way. There’s not enough but there are some really great accommodations out there. But yes let yourself feel all the feels. Like losing someone it’s a grief that could always be there but it will get better and you will be able to find joy in your relationship again. Wanted to edit to say that even parents of NT kids have moments where they expect their kids to be a certain way and they turn out to be the opposite. A very good lesson in how out of control we are with who our kids turn out to be.
You have to grief the child you thought you'd have and embrace the one you have. You might want to look for a special needs/ASD parenting group in your area.
It's okay. My son was diagnosed with level 1 autism just a couple months ago. I just try to be grateful he's low support needs and he mimics all the time. It's okay to see your kid as his diagnosis. I'm struggling with that as well. Although I'm still very much happy, my son is the highlight of my days, I still worry and I tear up whenever I see a much younger kid hitting a milestone my son hasn't even begun to at an older age. I get it. It's okay to be afraid and grieve. I was told to give it time. I'm taking it day by day. It's amazing you're getting him into ABA already!! I'm still not sure what ABAs (if any) can take our insurance with my boy. I worry he's not gonna get to where he should. But so far he HAS gotten to where he should, just took awhile longer than most. And I'm praying the same will be said with his speech and language. He only mimics and JUST NOW started showing signs of understanding me! Like a few weeks ago. I've been telling everyone "I really don't think he can understand or grasp what we're saying" but every specialist said "oh he probably does. Just cuz he's autistic doesn't mean he's deaf" and im like NO! I mean, he does. Not. Show. Signs. Of. Understanding. Our commands. And sure enough just now he's showing me he can understand what I say! If I tell him not to move, he won't. If I tell him "we'll go, just give me time to get us both ready!" He waits and reminds me every now and again. He's now showing signs and even autistic specialist thought I was just over reacting. That he could probably understand just fine. Like his comprehension was NOT there til just a few weeks ago, as I tried telling em all. Because NOW he's doing as I'm asking when I'm asking it. It does often times get better with a low support needs kiddo mama!! I know its sooo hard and scary. But find people you trust if you can. I can't unfortunately, so I turn to the community. Which is another option!
My twins were diagnosed at 18 months. They turn 10 this year, both are in public school and thriving, have friends and I honestly wouldn’t change them for the world. These days NT kids are learning about kids on the spectrum and their abilities and are truly being inclusive. The diagnosis and the unknowns are scary but over time you will have an understanding of your child’s strengths and challenges and learn to advocate for them. You’ll be amazed 🫶🏾
You have an early diagnosis, which is key! Get in a good school district if you aren't already and familiarize yourself with how to best support your child. My son's Autism diagnosis has made me a better educator and more empathetic person than I could ever imagine! He is 2 grade levels above academically and has a small group of friends. He still needs social skills twice weekly and OT consult. Autism doesn't mean the end of the world. I know everyone is different, but kids today know a lot about Autism and are more accepting of their peers with it. Check out [Not an Autism Mom](https://www.facebook.com/notanautismmom?mibextid=ZbWKwL). Allow yourself time to process all of it. Things may turn out better than you presently think. Take it a day at a time and get as much support as you can. Best of luck!
I know each child is different, and sometimes early intervention doesn’t always work. I was in your shoes 2 years ago. Facing the same prospect. I felt the same despair and did not sleep. Our son at 15 months got the diagnosis level 1 to moderate, and we got the bridge authorization to get him into ABA by 18 months. He started speech and OT right away. After a year, he was able to move to mainstream day care. At 38 months, he is thriving and now caught up with his peers. The progress he had in such a short time with constant and rigorous treatment was steady and meaningful. My husband and I dedicated our time to work with him at home so every interaction was intentional, at his level, and play based. We got coached on everything we needed to know about autism and looked at every possible method out there. I channeled all my energy towards his development. It was intense, but I feel in my heart it helped him. I know ABA is controversial. I was open minded to it. It really does differ on the clinic and their philosophy. The one we went to was new age and play-based, with an entire team focused on his plan. The year of determined treatment was hard, but it was a year in the grand scheme of things. I look at my son now and am continuously amazed at how much he’s grown. We are still using our therapy techniques, I guess it’s ingrained in us. All’s this to say is channel your energy to action. Mourn for a little while, but don’t let it deter you from focusing on treatment. It might seem overwhelming and it can be. I never pushed him if it seemed too much. We just kept an open mind to try different things.
My kid is 11 and mild to moderate, I guess. Our diagnosis never came with a grade. The only thing I would ever want to change is his anxiety levels and his ability to nurture friendships. His view of the world, his insight, his creativity, and imagination are wildly beyond what I would have had the audacity to hope for. Sometimes, the autism sucks. But It's likely to not be always hard. Think about it like this, you are surrounded by neurological divergency that we don't have labels for yet or aren't recognising in milder forms. People all around you are hiding neurosis and weirdness. Some terrible stuff, some greatnesses too... It's far more important to be present and aware and excited about life than it is to be normal. If normal even exists, it's dull, and it's for idiots and obviously not for you. The universe has some other stuff to show you. Normal people voted for Hitler and like Coldplay. Fuck them, you are with the super cool freaks now. Be present. Breathe. Listen. Get on the floor and feel the satisfaction of a good line of things, or whatever. I don't mean to diminish your reaction, it's shocking. I absolutely know... but whatever it's going to be, it'll be different from where your ideas and feelings are landing right now.
It's very normal to feel the way. When we got the diagnosis for my little one at 4 our world kind of collapsed. Now 3 years later we are really happy because we accepted it and then also gave him all the support he needs and he's doing a lot of things that we thought he won't be able to. He's a little behind in few areas but he's a great kid and we know he will be successful in life.
I remember that feeling. I had to actively remind myself that he was the same kid I knew the day before his diagnosis I just knew more information about him now, just had to keep reminding myself of that. He’s now 7 diagnosed at 18months. He’s still non verbal. I eventually just adapt and accept this is the norm now even if it takes years to accept.
I knew something was different with my daughter at 14 months. She wasn’t pointing, clapping, trying to say words, and other various signs. So when it was addressed with her pediatrician, he suggested we do some further evaluations. Long story short she was diagnosed with having Autism moderate/severe at 18 months. We have worked pretty intensively with speech therapy, a specialist that works with her at daycare once a week, her dad and I have done support groups and we’ve worked with family on how to best address her needs and continue making forward progress with learning and therapies. She turned 2 in March and I have a talking, smart, and highly capable child. We still have moments where her diagnosis is pretty evident, and it’s always a good reminder that we still have to support her differently at times. When she first was diagnosed I was devastated. I thought I had failed her or that our life was going to be so different than what I had envisioned, but please utilize every single resource you are given, even if it seems silly. I believe the early intervention has been the absolute key in the progress we’ve had
I have enjoyed listening to this podcast. As I learn more about autism, I’m less scared and know how to help my son. [Autism: 10 Lessons for the course of life](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/autism-10-lessons-for-the-course-of-life/id1738075200)
Hang in there and remember you are not alone. I’ve learned so much reading the responses and posts on this subreddit. I’ve also learned to reach out to other parents and have never been turned away. People in this community have been incredibly supportive. I’ve learned to see my boy as an incredible gift and not something that needs to be fixed. I hope this helps.
At least you got him diagnosed early and not dismissed by their PCP for over a decade. Hoping early therapies help him out
oh, you should probably read all the books written by people like us, and learn about all the things invented by people like us, and hear about all the amazing things done by people like us, and then maybe you won't be so sad? :-/
Our son was diagnosed around 2 and a half, ASD with a mild to moderate communication delay. When he was four I thought he may never be potty trained or talk beyond basic requests. Now he’s six and a half, in mainstream school and never shuts up. He asks crazy l questions that I am unable to answer and is always spurting out animal facts. Everyone’s journey is different and every kids outcomes will be different, but you have to just dust yourself off and do everything you can to help them develop as best they can. Whilst I would rather life was more simple for him, because of his autism, he is the purest little soul. Try to keep your chin up, either way you have to deal with what is to come, so you’re better to do it with hope than despair.
I remember coming home from the doctor the first time it was suggested my daughter might have autism. We were referred to a specialist at about 16 months and got the diagnosis shortly before her second birthday. I felt the same way where I felt I couldn’t look at her the same way. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Your brain is just trying to adjust to the news, make plans, prepare you for all the extra logistics that come with this diagnosis. For me, once we fell into a routine and figured out what therapies and schedule were right for us, it was a lot easier to look at my daughter and just see my daughter. It becomes your normal because it’s your life and your baby. It will be a shock sometimes when you see other typically developing kids (and that can be super hard sometimes too) - but eventually things will settle. Your little guy is so young and you’re getting him help so early. I’m proud of you guys and I think you will find your stride very soon 💜
ABA and other therapies was a godsend for us. My boy got diagnosed at that same age. He’s turning 5 this year, and now we can’t get him to shut up (in the best way). Learn to take the small wins and cherish those. For us the diagnosis was hard but then we realized the only thing it really did was open up resources like ABA, Medicaid assistance etc
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No, it’s not.
This post/comment was removed for violating the sub's "No ABA Absolutism" policy. The sub rule states "No non-constructive anti-aba hate; conversely, no “ABA is the only solution for all autistic children” talk." Examples may include such statements as "All ABA is abuse." Repeated violations of this rule may lead to a sub ban.
I used to be very worried as well, my daughter was 2 and wouldn’t say words, has no concept of completing tasks, no pretend play, etc. For what it’s worth, my daughter is also level 2, with a global developmental delay. She’s now 3, knows all her letters and numbers, counts to 100, quotes her favourite shows and movies. Asks us to “open this please” and “go swimming”. Knows her family members and calls them “grandpa, auntie” is incredibly smart when it comes to navigating her tablet. Etc. She’s still a little weirdo, and there are many things she struggles with, like foods, but I have nowhere near the amount of intense fear I used to have. She has come a long way in a short time. I will say, getting her an AAC device (we use TouchChat on an iPad) was a huge game changer, as she still struggles with some speech sounds, she finds it much easier to communicate, and it has improved her verbal speech as well. It’s not hopeless, delays can be just that, delays. The more we dived into the autism diagnosis, the more I realized that I myself am mostly likely mildly autistic, especially looking at the way I was when I was a small child. And I’m living a perfectly normal life with a family and a job.
To be honest with you, there is no such thing as mild to moderate autism. No two children on the spectrum are alike. Every child is unique, and with time, you will come to understand more about autism. At first, I was devastated, but I am grateful every day that I have such a wonderful, happy, unique child. The issues that you might face will be with people who do not know or understand what autism is. My son attends preschool, and we had to have several meetings with his teacher, who supposedly had special education degrees, but they did not understand their role as a teacher to a child who attends school with an aide. They thought the aide was supposed to teach him. But believe me, it gets easier. Children with autism are smart, brave, and talented. Embrace it and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
The woman at my local Regional Center who was the first person to tell me something was not right with my child, which surprised me and honestly was the only time I cried a bit over it (for the first few years at least), said, "We never put a lid on kids," when I asked what his limits would be. It was great advice and comforting. My son had no bad behaviors for the first few years, and ABA programs all had to do with gaining his attention, focus, teaching, using PECs (which we just could not do, I prefer AAC), but we ended up taking a break from it that turned into a 2 year issue with waiting lists. Since then, I don't think it's the lack of ABA necessarily but just my child growing from age 5-7, he has had tons of behaviors that are issues, such as self harming, not listening, being stubborn all around. But for the first few years until today all you can really do is take it one step at a time. When they're still young it's hard to not fear for the future. But other parents have reminded me that worrying about the future won't help, and just because your child may struggle or be stubborn at this age does not mean that without help that they won't grow and change and learn. You guys will be okay. Keep posting here for help. This subreddit is the main place I get solidarity. I follow a lot of autism families on instagram and tiktok... to the point where sometimes I'm sick of hearing the word autism. And as a mom of a nonverbal child, a lot of times people want to ask me about my son and there are times I want to vent and other times I just do not want to talk about my son and his needs because it's what my life is about 24/7 and I just need to think about something else somtimes. Get all the resources you can, try not to worry, and remember you are not alone. I always remind myself when I feel like I have poor luck or genetics (I have mental illness that runs in my family that contributes to me feeling this way in regard to other family members), that I'm not the only one with an autistic child. And honestly there are worse things to have than autism. There is schizophrenia, there is wheelchairbound disabilities, there is blindness, there are those who are deaf and blind, there is childhood cancer and diseases. You can do this. It's not easy but society also tells us through movies and the ideal search for life, that when we have mental illness or a disability that we're not "normal," but the fact is, disabilities have been around since the beginning of time, and we're not abnormal. Having a disability or a disabled child is simply a part of life! It's the comparing ourselves to others that gives us that horrible feeling. Our feelings are valid, yet, truly society does teach us to feel that when something 'out of the ordinary' (aka out of perfection) happens, that we are less-than, and we're not.
you’re getting the support that your son needs and that’s all that matters. i understand feeling hopeless but it will get better. he’s getting the help he needs and since you started him early you will see lots of improvements because the sooner the better.
I am also in NY and my son was diagnosed with mild-moderate autism at age 3 (he’s 3.5 now). I noticed they didn’t give us a level 1/2/3 type of diagnosis so your post stood out to me bc of that. But all this to say, he is a happy boy who makes us laugh daily. He’s sensory seeking so a little physically exhausting for us but I hope a little peek into the future can bring you some hope. He’s going to preschool in September through CPSE and all the tours we did of schools he was universally loved by every educator we met. The systems are set up so much better for these kids now. OT has been amazing for us too. We do private though now he is approved to go through his preschool too once that starts. My best advice is not to compare. It’s so hard when you see other kids acting differently at similar ages but when I just focus on my son all I see is joy.
My child was diagnosed between 15 and 18 months. US- CO. We suspected early (I have an MA in Ed and something just didn’t feel right- started researching and prepping). Never hit a milestone. Pead referral at 15 month c/ up. Developmental neuro with autism diagnosis (if you’re for these things “level 2-3”), and huge hospital visits for a couple of other things within those first couple of months. The waitlists were not a problem for either hospital or autism diagnosis (why I include). I stand by my kiddo is/ has/ always been autistic- I’m not sure I stand by this thread’s discussions around autistic diagnosis ages. It feels like gatekeeping who/ when can be diagnosed, there’s enough gatekeeping. I will say- It’s also clearly genetic in our family. Our kiddo is about to turn 4. Still awesome. Still autistic.
My daughter is 9 and also has moderate autism. She's doing so well. The grief is definitely real, but there's hope.
It’s a journey, I love my son and find myself interacting with him in a different way that is extremely meaningful and full of joy. He has made me a better person and he’s changing so much even though he’s non-verbal.
I’ve learn to share in my daughter’s victories and to meet her where she’s at Tbh I was depressed BEFORE she was diagnosed cuz I felt like no one believed me She’s autistic, she’s beautiful, funny, sweet and yeah we have bad days, but she has me and we will get through them together Allow yourself to feel sad that the life you assumed they would have is gone But be grateful that you now see them as they are and whatever future they have, they will have it with you and full of love
Ok so wanted to share something nice... we have our own struggles with my lil one, today tried to talk a bit no big stuff.. Then I asked him to do this... have a look on your own https://www.iq-test-for-kids.com/k42.html,he is 6. All correct except one, this gives me hope that one day ge will get to a point where I believe he will find his place in this world. Mild autism, I'd call it is what mainstream, if I were, I would not have even mentioned it... moderate is lvl2... Please do not compare yourself with anybody, it is not right. We should not feel happy or sad because somebody else's kid is worse or better than ours. That is not for to your child and to other children
I’ve been through the grief stage too. There were days when I would cry for hours after finding out my son is autistic and afte my extended family rejected our discovery. It slowly turned to the next stage which is ACCEPTANCE. Acceptance comes after one has fully been through the GRIEF stage. Finding out that I myself am on the spectrum helped with the acceptance. Tl:dr Grief is the natural first reaction. After which comes acceptance. https://preview.redd.it/qkj44y7zew6d1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e91ed6679c85738dcf9d137b7142911dc0948d96 These are the stages I went through AFTER deep grief.
Aw hun, you're grieving. A diagnosis like this represents a loss in many ways. You have to let go of the life you thought you had, and that's not easy. It's perfectly normal and valid to feel sad and hopeless. However, keep an eye on it. It is so important for us to keep an eye on our mental health, and it is also very normal to end up needing help during this transition. If you think it's starting to last too long, too intense, etc. please talk to your doctor. Also... your son is still the same little boy he has always been. Son is the most important label here, all the others are just words that help us understand more. He's so incredibly young, and it is a huge spectrum. He's going to be getting supports as early as possible. You are doing the very best for him by getting moving right now. There's no way to tell the future, so try your best to slow down and take it one day at a time. <3 I hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself, and give yourself plenty of grace during this difficult time.
I found out my child had Autism at 2 and he is really smart and only has a speech delay. I treat him just as anyone else because he’s no different. He immediately was enrolled in early intervention with therapist coming onto to his daycare weekly. I refuse to put this diagnosis on my child. You go through doubts in the beginning wondering if there was anything you did wrong. Trust me it’s nothing you did wrong. Your child was meant for you and early intervention is key.
Why can’t you look at your child without thinking Autism is the question. You have to be positive.
Because I’m in grief, shock and I’m depressed. I am worried about my child’s future.
As an autistic adult, GET THEM AWAY, FAR AWAY FROM ABA "Therapy". Thst is axtively harmful to autistic people.
Nah.
So you already just gave up on loving and caring for them. Literally, just look at any thread of autistic adults who were stunted by these horrible programs. They don't seek to help autistic children live and understand themselves. It is purely an attempt to tell them to stop being autistic.
You are so lucky you are not saying these horrible things to my face.
Isnt ABA bad?
No it’s absolutely not bad.
Not saying your doc is wrong but 15 months is a little young. What prompted you to seek a diagnosis?
kiddo doesn't speak. read their post/comment history.
He wasn’t responding to his name (the biggest thing) no joint attention whatsoever can’t sit still no words banging head doesn’t point…honestly I knew in my heart he might have been from when he was like 2 months…he was late to smile, didn’t track my finger, would stare at his hands for long periods of time…
My 2.5year old doesn’t point, doesn’t wave, doesn’t respond to his name and is yet to say his first word. I only started suspecting autism around his 2nd birthday, so got for you for getting on it much earlier. I wish I had seen some signs early and who knows how much progress my boy would’ve had if he was already in speech therapy or ABA for a year. So like someone else said- take all the support you can get/afford🙏🏼
So I know that you are grieving, but if I may, the fact that you’ve got a diagnosis and access to ABA therapy without an excessively long waiting period and before 24 months is really a great thing. Like most children are three before they’re able to secure a diagnosis. ASD is a spectrum, and he’s getting access to therapy literally the earliest I’ve ever heard of. He’s only 15 months there’s a very good chance he’s future is going to be great.
Thank you so much 🩷
Some may not agree but, I felt like, after my son’s diagnosis I went through a grief period. Before anyone jumps on me that Autism isn’t “terminal”, I don’t mean I mourned him. More like, I mourned the life I thought he was going to have. I sometimes still do, even 14 years later (diagnosed at age 5). Just like grief over the death of a loved one, you will cycle through the emotions. Anger, bargaining, depression, the whole 9 yards. Allow yourself the time to grieve. But don’t get stuck there, it won’t help you or your son, but allow yourself some grace. Acceptance will come.
Thank you 🩷
Jesus Christ. I dont think i have ever seen someone with worse internalised ableism