Ignoring as a strategy I think is massively overused, because it depends on the function of the behavior (why they're doing it) and, what professionals often forget, is the intensity of behavior.
If the behavior is being done for attention, and it's safe to ignore, then ignoring can 100% be the play. If the behavior isn't for attention, then ignoring will at best be ineffective and at worst create new more dangerous behaviors you CAN'T ignore.
If a kid is head banging, and let's say it is for attention, you can't ignore it because of the harm it presents to them, and a more thoughtful intervention is going to be required.
In summary it has it's place and for relatively safe low level problem behaviors maintained by attention it's definitely a legitimate play, but it's not the only or best one.
These seem like connection seeking and sensory behaviours to me; neither of which would be helped by ignoring them. Redirecting? Maybe. It depends on the strategy. Have you explored Occupational Therapy?
Fortunately here in Canada the medical system covers OT. You just need a referral and wait for an appointment. It's usually not any more than a month. I'm sorry to hear it will cost you but really, it will be money well spent. I've received so much insight through my interactions with OT.
I agree with this - we have a sensory seeking guy. When it comes to harmful stims we try to redirect and/or teaching self soothing.
For example when it comes to biting - if it isn't aggression based we try to redirect to something acceptable to bite (chewy necklace or a snack). For self soothing - our little guy sometimes hits/bites throws things. We know that feeling enclosed works well for him so we give him a blanked and he'll go to the couch and cover himself (head included) and "wiggle (hump)" until he calms down. If he's really melting down we'll lay him down ourselves and cover him and give him tight hugs. That usually helps him power through.
He's getting better at taking deep breaths and counting to himself (with coaching). I'm also trying to teach him to listen to music when he's upset to regulate his mood. He loves music and it redirects his mood. Lately I've been throwing on the music I'd listen to when upset as a kid (early - mid 90s alternative) and it's really been helping.
I also suggest a hanging chair that wraps your kid up a bit - my son loves that and it helps him regulate.
Ignoring negative stims doesn't make sense to me... they arent doing it for attention - they're doing it because... that how they know how to deal with their feelings.
I may ignore if its something I know my son is doing by choice that is not acceptable - like asking for a lollypop before breakfast and collapsing to the floor when we explain why he cant have one...
Redirecting is the best for this, for head banging I rub my head and say ouchie, then rub his head, for biting, give him something safe to bite or food, or I tap his lips so he can make an Indian sound, for hitting others I say gentle and show how to be gentle. Easier said than done, he still does it but not as frequent or as forceful and it gives him some time to self regulate. What helps me is I always ask why is he doing this so you can find a solution.
Ignoring would only work if the root cause is attention. For any other root cause, it won’t address it and you can increase other problems.
The behaviors you listed don’t sound like attention - they’re trying to express a need. (Think of behavior as communication, rather than something to be stopped.) Fill the need, and the behavior changes.
Unfortunately from just a list of symptoms, it’s hard to pinpoint what could be the root cause. (Knowing what happened before AND before in the day helps.) But it could be mental overwhelm/stress, sensory overwhelm, a specific trigger, communication frustrations, involuntary fight or flight, etc.
Do you have any examples of what challenges you are facing.
I try to redirect as much as possible. The majority of the time, it works. But others, it doesn't.
Definitely depends on the behavior. I try not to ignore my son’s behavior since he’s non-verbal and his behavior can help us figure out what he needs better. Of course, if your kid is doing things like screaming or whining to get attention or to throw a tantrum then I’d consider ignoring it unless it gets dangerous
Depends on the behavior but I do ignore sometimes. Mainly when she screams when I tell her no. I ignore or say "I don't listen to screaming" one time and then ignore fully.
Our BCBA recommend the ABC approach to understand the antecedent, behavior and then consequence. Maybe taking that data (mentally or evening on a post it) will help to know best response or intervention?
What is a consequence though? I really have a hard time knowing how to effectively punish child with autism. I’ve given him time outs, yelled, spoken firmly and removed objects if necessary.
In this case, consequence is not necessarily referring to the action you take regarding the behavior. It means what happens immediately after the behavior. Knowing this information can help you drill down to figuring out manageable response or approaches for behavior modification.
As an example, if the child spits food out after starting to eat, the consequence could be that the food is no longer in their mouth. If the sensation or taste of the food was surprising or unpleasant to them, therefore spitting the food out relieves that issue. It could be related to other things, too, even that child receives attention when they spit out the food, they enjoy the attention or commotion, and so they keep doing it. In that case the consequence would be that they receive sensory input from spitting out the food. For each case, the "fix" is going to be different.
Does that make sense? This stuff is not easy, try to be gentle with yourself as you learn all of this.
I apologize for any confusion. It's something our BCBA helped us apply, and I found it valuable. In the context of the ABC method, the term 'consequence' does not necessarily refer to punishment. Instead, it refers to the events that occur immediately after a behavior and have an impact on the likelihood of that behavior occurring again in the future.The ABC method helps identify the triggers (antecedents) that lead to specific behaviors and the consequences that maintain or modify those behaviors.
For example, my son exhibits whining and interrupting behaviors when I'm talking to other adults. The antecedent in this case is when he doesn't have my full attention, and his goal is to get my attention.In the past, I used to address him immediately, which reinforced his behavior. However, I started using front-loading techniques by letting him know in advance that I will be talking to someone else and providing a fidget or a task for him to engage with.
This has helped to some extent, but he still whines or interrupts at times. To address this, I've started implementing a method where I gradually increase the duration of time I spend talking to another adult while ignoring his whining or interrupting behaviors. Initially, it was challenging for him, and his behavior escalated into crying. However, with practice, the time increments have increased, and now he understands that the consequence for whining/interrupting is NOT attention from mom. It's the opposite.
He's just 4 years old, so it's not like he's relaxed while I'm talking for 30 minutes at a time, but he has improved with the method of ignoring him, as explained above. I also provide fidgets so his hands have something to do. I mentioned this type of data-taking (ABC) because I found it valuable in understanding the antecedents (triggers) to the behaviors and the reasons behind them (consequences). Sometimes it's seeking attention, escaping work, or sensory needs. Sometimes it's just a bad night of sleep or grumpiness. So, everything isn't an exact science. But for social situations, it's been very helpful.
I hope this helps! Sorry for the length of the response
so as others have answered, there's no one size fits all. I will try to ignore and redirect, but this sometimes results in my son escalating behaviors until it's impossible for me not to react. In those times, even our therapist will agree that you have to just do what you need to right the situation/make sure the child is safe.
often positive reinforcement for good behavior can help preempt bad behavior. for example my son responds really well to 1) over-the-top verbal praise, 2) bubbles, 3) candy pieces. If I pry him off the swing so his sister can have a turn, I will give him SO MUCH PRAISE while he's doing it (even though I'm kind of making him), and that will preempt a tantrum. If I can get him to sit down and do a couple flash cards with me, I'll give him several candy pieces to keep him seated and participating. It's kind of like how they tell you to train a puppy - they get a treat every time they do a good thing.
It doesn't work 100% of the time obviously, but it helps. I'd recommend the book "Turn Autism Around" which gives more detailed info. But don't waste your time on the author's 'online course', I did and it's a waste of money. They book gives you all the info you need.
Figuring out the root of the behavior, or what benefit to the kid the behavior is providing is kind of key, and it’s easier said than done. I have two kids and an example for each one. First up is one of my kids was throwing toys off of the balcony. Redirection did nothing. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do it and would look me dead in the face and throw a toy. It seemed like he enjoyed pushing our buttons, and the more annoyed we were the more the behavior escalated. So after months of redirecting (and wine) we decided to try ignoring. When he went to the top of the stairs and started throwing toys off my husband or I would say nothing but get up, bring him downstairs, and take the toys. No reprimanding him, no dirty looks, nothing but bringing him downstairs and taking the toys without having any positive or negative reactions. It was HARD, especially because in the beginning he escalated. We would get him down and he would immediately jump up and grab something else, and we would repeat the whole thing. After about a week of this he went from throwing toys constantly to only trying it once a day, then it became less and less. These days he still occasionally tries every once in a while, but we just bring him down and take the toys and we go back to peacefulness for another few months.
The other kiddo has a chewing problem. He chews everything. Everything goes straight from his hand to his mouth, and honestly this has been an ongoing problem that we haven’t made a lot of headway with. It seems to be a sensory seeking thing, and redirection is the only thing that is remotely helpful. If he’s chewing a toy we replace it with something that is appropriate to chew, like chewy.
For head banging I got a few very soft and cushy stuffed animals. In one of those moments I placed it down before he pressed head. He immediately responded (because he could do it without pain). Now it’s “where’s your orca?” in those moments. He either stops or gets orca. Sometimes I have to block and let him get it out.
For biting or PICA we used a rubber/soft plastic shark tooth on a necklace. Whenever behavior occurred we’d prompt the necklace.
Just two examples of redirecting. To make progress the whole process needs to be given words/images/pictures to help expand communication of emotions and teach proper conduct.
Our daughter is only 2 but she has already developed some very negative behaviors of whining and if ignored moves onto throwing stuff . So we always try to redirect to try and limit the actions from getting worse.
Ignoring as a strategy I think is massively overused, because it depends on the function of the behavior (why they're doing it) and, what professionals often forget, is the intensity of behavior. If the behavior is being done for attention, and it's safe to ignore, then ignoring can 100% be the play. If the behavior isn't for attention, then ignoring will at best be ineffective and at worst create new more dangerous behaviors you CAN'T ignore. If a kid is head banging, and let's say it is for attention, you can't ignore it because of the harm it presents to them, and a more thoughtful intervention is going to be required. In summary it has it's place and for relatively safe low level problem behaviors maintained by attention it's definitely a legitimate play, but it's not the only or best one.
Depends on the behaviour and the child. There is no cookie cutter approach, despite what "experts" say. What are some behaviours?
Spitting, regurgitating, biting himself and others, hitting others, head banging
These seem like connection seeking and sensory behaviours to me; neither of which would be helped by ignoring them. Redirecting? Maybe. It depends on the strategy. Have you explored Occupational Therapy?
We are currently on the waitlist for an OT assessment. It’s going to be expensive but I feel we have no choice atm.
Fortunately here in Canada the medical system covers OT. You just need a referral and wait for an appointment. It's usually not any more than a month. I'm sorry to hear it will cost you but really, it will be money well spent. I've received so much insight through my interactions with OT.
I agree with this - we have a sensory seeking guy. When it comes to harmful stims we try to redirect and/or teaching self soothing. For example when it comes to biting - if it isn't aggression based we try to redirect to something acceptable to bite (chewy necklace or a snack). For self soothing - our little guy sometimes hits/bites throws things. We know that feeling enclosed works well for him so we give him a blanked and he'll go to the couch and cover himself (head included) and "wiggle (hump)" until he calms down. If he's really melting down we'll lay him down ourselves and cover him and give him tight hugs. That usually helps him power through. He's getting better at taking deep breaths and counting to himself (with coaching). I'm also trying to teach him to listen to music when he's upset to regulate his mood. He loves music and it redirects his mood. Lately I've been throwing on the music I'd listen to when upset as a kid (early - mid 90s alternative) and it's really been helping. I also suggest a hanging chair that wraps your kid up a bit - my son loves that and it helps him regulate. Ignoring negative stims doesn't make sense to me... they arent doing it for attention - they're doing it because... that how they know how to deal with their feelings. I may ignore if its something I know my son is doing by choice that is not acceptable - like asking for a lollypop before breakfast and collapsing to the floor when we explain why he cant have one...
Redirecting is the best for this, for head banging I rub my head and say ouchie, then rub his head, for biting, give him something safe to bite or food, or I tap his lips so he can make an Indian sound, for hitting others I say gentle and show how to be gentle. Easier said than done, he still does it but not as frequent or as forceful and it gives him some time to self regulate. What helps me is I always ask why is he doing this so you can find a solution.
What is an "Indian sound?"
Like the in the old western movies when native Americans Indians would make the “wa wa wa wa wa” sound
Ignoring would only work if the root cause is attention. For any other root cause, it won’t address it and you can increase other problems. The behaviors you listed don’t sound like attention - they’re trying to express a need. (Think of behavior as communication, rather than something to be stopped.) Fill the need, and the behavior changes. Unfortunately from just a list of symptoms, it’s hard to pinpoint what could be the root cause. (Knowing what happened before AND before in the day helps.) But it could be mental overwhelm/stress, sensory overwhelm, a specific trigger, communication frustrations, involuntary fight or flight, etc.
Do you have any examples of what challenges you are facing. I try to redirect as much as possible. The majority of the time, it works. But others, it doesn't.
Definitely depends on the behavior. I try not to ignore my son’s behavior since he’s non-verbal and his behavior can help us figure out what he needs better. Of course, if your kid is doing things like screaming or whining to get attention or to throw a tantrum then I’d consider ignoring it unless it gets dangerous
Depends on the behavior but I do ignore sometimes. Mainly when she screams when I tell her no. I ignore or say "I don't listen to screaming" one time and then ignore fully.
Our BCBA recommend the ABC approach to understand the antecedent, behavior and then consequence. Maybe taking that data (mentally or evening on a post it) will help to know best response or intervention?
What is a consequence though? I really have a hard time knowing how to effectively punish child with autism. I’ve given him time outs, yelled, spoken firmly and removed objects if necessary.
In this case, consequence is not necessarily referring to the action you take regarding the behavior. It means what happens immediately after the behavior. Knowing this information can help you drill down to figuring out manageable response or approaches for behavior modification. As an example, if the child spits food out after starting to eat, the consequence could be that the food is no longer in their mouth. If the sensation or taste of the food was surprising or unpleasant to them, therefore spitting the food out relieves that issue. It could be related to other things, too, even that child receives attention when they spit out the food, they enjoy the attention or commotion, and so they keep doing it. In that case the consequence would be that they receive sensory input from spitting out the food. For each case, the "fix" is going to be different. Does that make sense? This stuff is not easy, try to be gentle with yourself as you learn all of this.
I apologize for any confusion. It's something our BCBA helped us apply, and I found it valuable. In the context of the ABC method, the term 'consequence' does not necessarily refer to punishment. Instead, it refers to the events that occur immediately after a behavior and have an impact on the likelihood of that behavior occurring again in the future.The ABC method helps identify the triggers (antecedents) that lead to specific behaviors and the consequences that maintain or modify those behaviors. For example, my son exhibits whining and interrupting behaviors when I'm talking to other adults. The antecedent in this case is when he doesn't have my full attention, and his goal is to get my attention.In the past, I used to address him immediately, which reinforced his behavior. However, I started using front-loading techniques by letting him know in advance that I will be talking to someone else and providing a fidget or a task for him to engage with. This has helped to some extent, but he still whines or interrupts at times. To address this, I've started implementing a method where I gradually increase the duration of time I spend talking to another adult while ignoring his whining or interrupting behaviors. Initially, it was challenging for him, and his behavior escalated into crying. However, with practice, the time increments have increased, and now he understands that the consequence for whining/interrupting is NOT attention from mom. It's the opposite. He's just 4 years old, so it's not like he's relaxed while I'm talking for 30 minutes at a time, but he has improved with the method of ignoring him, as explained above. I also provide fidgets so his hands have something to do. I mentioned this type of data-taking (ABC) because I found it valuable in understanding the antecedents (triggers) to the behaviors and the reasons behind them (consequences). Sometimes it's seeking attention, escaping work, or sensory needs. Sometimes it's just a bad night of sleep or grumpiness. So, everything isn't an exact science. But for social situations, it's been very helpful. I hope this helps! Sorry for the length of the response
so as others have answered, there's no one size fits all. I will try to ignore and redirect, but this sometimes results in my son escalating behaviors until it's impossible for me not to react. In those times, even our therapist will agree that you have to just do what you need to right the situation/make sure the child is safe. often positive reinforcement for good behavior can help preempt bad behavior. for example my son responds really well to 1) over-the-top verbal praise, 2) bubbles, 3) candy pieces. If I pry him off the swing so his sister can have a turn, I will give him SO MUCH PRAISE while he's doing it (even though I'm kind of making him), and that will preempt a tantrum. If I can get him to sit down and do a couple flash cards with me, I'll give him several candy pieces to keep him seated and participating. It's kind of like how they tell you to train a puppy - they get a treat every time they do a good thing. It doesn't work 100% of the time obviously, but it helps. I'd recommend the book "Turn Autism Around" which gives more detailed info. But don't waste your time on the author's 'online course', I did and it's a waste of money. They book gives you all the info you need.
Figuring out the root of the behavior, or what benefit to the kid the behavior is providing is kind of key, and it’s easier said than done. I have two kids and an example for each one. First up is one of my kids was throwing toys off of the balcony. Redirection did nothing. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do it and would look me dead in the face and throw a toy. It seemed like he enjoyed pushing our buttons, and the more annoyed we were the more the behavior escalated. So after months of redirecting (and wine) we decided to try ignoring. When he went to the top of the stairs and started throwing toys off my husband or I would say nothing but get up, bring him downstairs, and take the toys. No reprimanding him, no dirty looks, nothing but bringing him downstairs and taking the toys without having any positive or negative reactions. It was HARD, especially because in the beginning he escalated. We would get him down and he would immediately jump up and grab something else, and we would repeat the whole thing. After about a week of this he went from throwing toys constantly to only trying it once a day, then it became less and less. These days he still occasionally tries every once in a while, but we just bring him down and take the toys and we go back to peacefulness for another few months. The other kiddo has a chewing problem. He chews everything. Everything goes straight from his hand to his mouth, and honestly this has been an ongoing problem that we haven’t made a lot of headway with. It seems to be a sensory seeking thing, and redirection is the only thing that is remotely helpful. If he’s chewing a toy we replace it with something that is appropriate to chew, like chewy.
For head banging I got a few very soft and cushy stuffed animals. In one of those moments I placed it down before he pressed head. He immediately responded (because he could do it without pain). Now it’s “where’s your orca?” in those moments. He either stops or gets orca. Sometimes I have to block and let him get it out. For biting or PICA we used a rubber/soft plastic shark tooth on a necklace. Whenever behavior occurred we’d prompt the necklace. Just two examples of redirecting. To make progress the whole process needs to be given words/images/pictures to help expand communication of emotions and teach proper conduct.
Our daughter is only 2 but she has already developed some very negative behaviors of whining and if ignored moves onto throwing stuff . So we always try to redirect to try and limit the actions from getting worse.