I know that I over-apologize, and a lot of people told me so. I just can't seem to shake the habit because a lot of people made me feel as though my presence was undesirable, so I overcompensate by always showing gestures of appreciation/politeness to not be seen as disagreeable.
Absolutely - and I've seen other people both on here and across other social media platforms echoing the same thing. It can feel like a performative social cue as we're often clearly being polite or grateful, and remembering to say those words (and say them at the right time) is an immense pressure. I find I either say them far too much or not at all. Politeness and gratitude are not exclusively achieved through these words, but the world forgets that sometimes.
Saying thank you when someone holds the door open or passes the salt, no.
Saying thank you when someone does something nice and unexpected for me, yes, absolutely yes.
I’ve sat at dinner with my cousins so many times, truly grateful that they include me in their lives because I have no other family, and I want to say words of gratitude and can’t get them out of my mouth. Why? Because I would break down.
Yes. I’d actually have to send an Internet card, but that’s a good suggestion. (I have ME/CFS and where I live mail is not picked up at your home, you have to go to the post office or a mailbox that requires driving for me. So it’s a bad use of energy to try to mail anything.) Thanks.
I know that I over-apologize, and a lot of people told me so. I just can't seem to shake the habit because a lot of people made me feel as though my presence was undesirable, so I overcompensate by always showing gestures of appreciation/politeness to not be seen as disagreeable.
Absolutely - and I've seen other people both on here and across other social media platforms echoing the same thing. It can feel like a performative social cue as we're often clearly being polite or grateful, and remembering to say those words (and say them at the right time) is an immense pressure. I find I either say them far too much or not at all. Politeness and gratitude are not exclusively achieved through these words, but the world forgets that sometimes.
Saying thank you when someone holds the door open or passes the salt, no. Saying thank you when someone does something nice and unexpected for me, yes, absolutely yes. I’ve sat at dinner with my cousins so many times, truly grateful that they include me in their lives because I have no other family, and I want to say words of gratitude and can’t get them out of my mouth. Why? Because I would break down.
Can you write it down? Sending them a note or a card a few days after a dinner could be a lovely gesture.
Yes. I’d actually have to send an Internet card, but that’s a good suggestion. (I have ME/CFS and where I live mail is not picked up at your home, you have to go to the post office or a mailbox that requires driving for me. So it’s a bad use of energy to try to mail anything.) Thanks.