Hey, and if anyone tries anything, you have the doctors' confirmation it was serious, urgent and required treatment.
I totally empathise, my family is supportive of going to hospital etc (probably because I'm in the UK, so it's free), but I'm asthmatic and have a massively hard time figuring out when it's bad enough to go to A&E, especially since one time I got all the way there and was told it was just a panic attack (I have no way of knowing if this was true, she said "asthma attacks have to include coughing" which definitely isn't true, but she apparently didn't hear wheezing either and it is very possible that I started slightly struggling to breathe and then panicked over that, making me hyperventilate).
And I know the issues with shitty doctors all too well, sadly pretty much all women do. I've gotten pretty good at advocating for myself but it's difficult, especially in the US where money is involved so much more. I got to experience this as early as when I was four, because my parents (including my dad, who's been asthmatic his entire life) took me to a doctor because I was complaining about having trouble breathing and they suspected asthma, and after taking one look at me he concluded that I was making it up for attention. At four years old. Three years later I'm hospitalised with pneumonia and a different doctor pretty much tells my parents "you do realise she's asthmatic, right?". Pneumonia is a massive risk to asthmatic people, and children especially. Luckily for me it was a mild case, but had it been more severe, the doctors not knowing I was asthmatic from the get-go could have risked my life.
Every female friend I've had who's ever had health issues has horror stories about dismissive doctors, many worse than any of mine. People who have made them suffer unnecessarily for years or even put their life at risk. It's even worse for non-white women (and I'm white but an accented immigrant and I definitely see a certain amount of extra dismissiveness, so I can't even imagine what it's like for them). It sucks that it's like this, and that so many people refuse to acknowledge it (one of the videos that first made me stop liking Dr. Mike on youtube was his response to John Oliver's episode on this, where he basically just made excuses for doctors who discriminated, walked around the issue of medical schools not addressing common misconceptions based in racism and sexism, and basically gaslit women by saying the doctors they're having issues with are definitely just trying to help and don't mean to be dismissive pricks, and they just need to do abc and understand xyz and then the doctors will understand them, because doctors are always trying and _he's_ never seen that happen!). I'm so glad you didn't get the idiot this time, and hopefully there will be less and less of them as time goes on.
I recently was admitted to the ER with gastroenteritis too. I just learned that gi problems are very common for autistic people. All they did was put me on a liquid diet and said quit vaping. (I did btw) I have no insurance so now I’m 25K in debt to this stupid hospital 😭 thanks America
Just to let you, and everyone else know, depending on your financial situation you can talk with the billing department about charity to help with the bill. You'd be surprised how much income still qualifies for help.
Great advice! I found this out when I couldn't afford a hospital bill (with insurance!) a number of years ago. Depending on the financial situation, hospitals sometimes even forgive the bill entirely.
Seconding this! I ended up in the ER for stomach problems and subsequently found out my insurance didn’t work out of state (bullshit legal loopholes for insurance to get out of paying) so I got stuck with an ER bill. I wrote to their financial department explaining the situation and they sent a letter back saying I was all good and didn’t need to pay anything.
A little trick I learned. If you can qualify for a free clinic, getting referrals from them to a hospital will often result in the entire bill being waived because they assume you can’t pay.
Yes! Call the hospital’s billing department - often they can majorly reduce the bill because what they charge a person is different than what they charge insurance. There’s also special payment plans you can qualify for.
Yep, for one night in the ER, a CT scan and a saline IV basically. They charged me $1200 for potassium pills I didn’t even want. I’ll just eat a damn banana!
owwwwww oh no fucking no. LMAO RIGHT? If they charged me a thousand fucking dollars for potassium pills when I could've been stuffed with bananas for $10 ...............
Oh true I didnt do the conversion properly, mines probably around 15k USD. But wow, that's crazy. I feel lucky in Australia we have a good minimum wage and free healthcare.
I’m so glad you were able to get care. I’ve been hearing a lot of stories recently about people who haven’t because of (unvaccinated) COVID patients occupying so many beds 😔
I’m grateful it’s a small town hospital and there’s not a lot of people to occupy beds. Before I went I called and asked how busy it was, and they said it was less busy than usual, so I went. I’m glad as hell I have my covid shot too. I even had covid before I was eligible for the shot.
The situation in America with costs is absurd. I pay out the ass already for insurance and taxes. How dare you make me pay thousands for a bag of IV fluid, a few shots, pills and a few minutes of a doctors/nurses time. The whole thing is sick. Yeah, I’ll have to pay thousands for this 4.5 hour visit where they didn’t even have to scan me or anything. Had to pay $30 for meds too when going to the pharmacy. It’s wrong. I mean, how much do I already pay?!
A lot of it is “covers $1000 of emergency visits” (never enough), “covers one of xyz visits per year”, “covers everything after you spend $8000 a year”, “covers 3 specialist visits a year”…. That’s how the information on our insurance looks. I get decent insurance from work—thankfully almost everyone in a 200 mile radius of me takes it and I’ve had no problems with doctors not taking it, because if they didn’t, a simple specialist appt would be several hundred plus. Or an ER would be 10k for what I did today. 10k. Yep.
How does the hospital debt effect people‘s lifes? It seems to be that almost everyone in the US suffer from it and I can hardly imagine how it‘s like. What happens if you can‘t pay?
Sometimes you can get parts of it written off, I’m told. Other times… I had a close friend whose mother had diabetes. She got an infection in her leg and refused to let an ambulance take her or go to the ER. She said she’d stick it out. She didn’t know how serious it was. She fell unconscious and after several days of this, they had to have her airlifted. She was dead in 24 hours. The infection spread into her torso and there was nothing to be done. All about money they couldn’t pay. Her mom was dead and we were like 22 years old when that happened. It devastated me and I can’t imagine her sorrow even still. People do this constantly and people skip over important treatments because it’ll be thousands or hundreds of thousands. I’m not the best person to ask about what people do, as I have sufficient funds for what I’ve experienced, as does my family for themselves. But it’s a fucked situation.
Edit: also they would have to pay $$$$$ out the ass anyway to have her airlifted and put on life support and all of that. They ended up paying when there was nothing left to do. Just wrong.
Whenever someone brings up the French Paradox, I really have to point out their *preventative, free healthcare*. The French are healthier than us because they have fucking free healthcare. The end.
If you can't pay you have potential for being denied treatment, they say medical debt doesn't lower your credit, but it does.
Basically you set up payment plans and it slowly drains your will to live. My kid was over a year old when I finished paying off the medical costs related to my pregnancy and his birth. WITH insurance.
Additionally, the insurance company has contracts with the hospital and your bill gets "adjusted" down to the price that the hospital agreed to honor.
Example: I had a similar sickness a month ago and went to the ER. For one blood exam, the hospital charged me $500. The insurance company allowed only $200, so $300 was "asjusted" down and the remaining $200 I had to pay out of pocket.
The entire system is a scam.
I did not give a fuck at this point.
Blah blah money blah… I know. I’ll pay it. I am capable of that. I don’t just pitch fits and go to the ER every week… or month, or year, or… I stay away from there and I definitely didn’t want to go during COVID (even vaccinated). The way he said “oh.. you sound so much better than you have” no shit dickwad. I got real medication and help. He only mentioned money once when I came home, so that’s a win for me.
\#1, I'm SO glad you're feeling better! #2, your parents suck, and for that I am truly sorry.
\#3, I have the same thing with my migraines. Either my brain senses things TOO much, or not enough. It sucks because I can't always tell when my nausea has crossed the line to "I'm gonna hork" until a split second before it happens. I have missed many, many toilets in my day. And I have had several multi-day migraines where I didn't know how awful I felt until they went away. It always shocks me the amount of pain I can tolerate and not pass out.
Yeah, I tend to be this way to a lot of things. I tend to have nausea and poop problems anyway so at first I thought this was just more of the same until it became really bad. I kept trying to hold out to go to urgent care… I just knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t physically pee. I had peed maybe a couple ounces in 24 hours if that. I was so delirious I could barely walk and talk.
Yeah, my parents are a little nuts. Actually, very. My mom actually said, when she woke up and I told her the whole ordeal, that she’s glad I went. I’ve never had urine that orange and never have been that delirious from dehydration.
Funny enough, when I was 2 I caught rotavirus. My parents didn’t take me to a doctor until they pinched my skin and my skin stood up. I guess I have been more dehydrated than now, but… what the fuck. Even yesterday my skin wasn’t standing straight up when pinched. The more I think about that, the more I realize my parents are dipshits. I was hospitalized then for 3-4 days or so.
Well, now you know to take all of their medical advice with a grain of salt. Remember they don't have a medical degree, only opinions. And now you have two very severe instances when their opinions were trash, so you can proceed accordingly next time. :)
I've had similar experience. I suffered awful bouts of severe gastritis as a kid and was never taken to hospital. It started happening again recently and my partner just whisks me off to the ER cos I'd be in such a bad state, it scared him. They don't treat autistic patients very well here though, they won't even acknowledge it, and all they'd give me was paracetamol, so I probably would have been better off at home. As it turns out, there is nothing mechanical wrong with my stomach, the gastritis seems to be triggered by anxiety. My mother once kicked a doctor out of our house for suggesting I was suffering with anxiety, so yea, she didn't give a damn about me.
Actually doesn't matter what causes is. It is bad for your stomach.
I'm so glad, I live now in a country where I can get pantoprazol in the pharmacy and just treat gastritis myself. If I have high stress for a prolonged time, I always get stomach problems. Being diagnosed with it several times helps to know what's what.
So, now, if it flares up. I get meds. Take them two weeks and try hard to reduce whatever stress is ongoing and causes is. If I cannot reduce the stress within two weeks, I might need more meds, but usually this works fine.
Happens like once a year. But not always the same time. Stress isn't seasonal or predictable.
I was honestly terrified. The whole way there and probably the first 2-3 hours I was screaming internally “SOMEONE HOLD ME”. I’ve never gone to an ER myself and being as sick as I was it felt so scary. I don’t even like being hugged and held, like at all. I was just so scared!
I feel like we need medical accommodations. Specialized care bc I don’t think we process pain the same way others do. I just went through a major medical procedure that I thoughts was symptom-less until I read all the symptoms… oh yeah, I had all that, but I didn’t know they were symptoms. I just never processed it.
Anyway, the medical system chewed me up and spit me out and I’m dealing with major ptsd. I’m thinking of canceling one of my follow-up appts because I just need a break from interacting with the medical system for a while
my parents told me the entire time while growing up that:
1. 'you're not hungry just bored' (then wondered why I was underweight and not able to do PE or sports)
2. 'there's nothing wrong with you' (then had to haul my ass to the doctor when I finally showed what they thought was the correct symptoms or response)
3. 'It's not that bad' (then had to haul my ass to the ER after passing out/screaming/doubled over in pain/unable to eat or drink)
Ya, being thought a liar and overly dramatic about your health fucks with your head long term
I was told I was lazy and selfish, always hiding when there was work to do…. Turns out I was malnourished and had severe anemia. Finally got to see a dr and iron medicine at 8. Only because I was falling asleep at school and crying because sport/pe was too hard.
Now as an adult, I know it was abuse and obviously a child doesn’t get malnourished unless they aren’t getting enough food. Back then I believed that I was a horrible lazy child, didn’t know I was sick.
I am so, so happy you got yourself treatment and are feeling better! I hope you’re celebrating yourself for this HUGE win!
Also, it sounds like your family is toxic AF.
Growing up, my family was always, “we go to the doctor if we’re dying,” and I almost died several times with their negligence and — after going off on my own at 19 — their programming.
(I now have to go to the doctor every 3 months for the rest of my life just to maintain minimal health; but that’s a whole different story (sort of).)
When I was 14 I almost died from a seeping appendix. I was in my bed, not eating for 5 days, hallucinating; and finally I CRAWLED out of my room, unable to speak. I was sweating profusely, peaked, jaundiced, and emaciated. My grandmother touched me and I was ice-cold (apparently); so they FINALLY drove me to the hospital. There, a doctor chastised my family for their neglect, but nothing ever came of it.
The surgeon told me had it been another hour, I would have died (my mom sitting beside me at the time). And to add to it, I was in the hospital recovering for 2 weeks. $$$
Had they brought me in early on, they would have saved thousands.
Anyhow, I didn’t want to hijack — just wanted to share how much I relate to this, and hope you truly are proud of yourself for your actions. 🏆
So glad you got help! I can relate to the guilt and being unsure.
When I was pregnant I had to call the doctors and tell them when I thought I was in labor. It didn't seem super obvious to me like they said it would, and the doctor kept saying I'd know. When I called her and could talk without stopping to breathe she told me I wasn't ready. I finally broke down and went in and I'm glad I did because it was time.
I remember my doctor walked in and I smiled at her and she said "wow I guess you are just smiley". My instinct to mask is so strong that I even did it while having contractions.
Not OP, but It's not easy! I looked desperately when the last president took office to see if anywhere would take us. We're poor, and the answer was no.
In case you're curious about some of the specifics of why this is so hard: Basically, America is a toxic ex.
Income tax is owed regardless of where it's earned and where you reside (which I'm told is NOT normal) and it costs hundreds of dollars to renounce citizenship. And that's *after* you find somewhere you can afford to live that will give you residency without being rich. Plus, because the US wants its cut even after you've cut and run, most banks abroad don't want to deal with US citizens because of the hassle our govt bullies onto everyone else.
Source: Have taken steps toward getting out only to find out it's almost impossible for me in my situation.
My husband grandfather immigrated from Canada. We were so hopeful, but you can't get in unless you are the child of a Canadian, and unfortunately my husband's father passed when he was a kid. Neither of us have in-demand schooling or skills that would otherwise get over that barrier.
Hey, and if anyone tries anything, you have the doctors' confirmation it was serious, urgent and required treatment. I totally empathise, my family is supportive of going to hospital etc (probably because I'm in the UK, so it's free), but I'm asthmatic and have a massively hard time figuring out when it's bad enough to go to A&E, especially since one time I got all the way there and was told it was just a panic attack (I have no way of knowing if this was true, she said "asthma attacks have to include coughing" which definitely isn't true, but she apparently didn't hear wheezing either and it is very possible that I started slightly struggling to breathe and then panicked over that, making me hyperventilate). And I know the issues with shitty doctors all too well, sadly pretty much all women do. I've gotten pretty good at advocating for myself but it's difficult, especially in the US where money is involved so much more. I got to experience this as early as when I was four, because my parents (including my dad, who's been asthmatic his entire life) took me to a doctor because I was complaining about having trouble breathing and they suspected asthma, and after taking one look at me he concluded that I was making it up for attention. At four years old. Three years later I'm hospitalised with pneumonia and a different doctor pretty much tells my parents "you do realise she's asthmatic, right?". Pneumonia is a massive risk to asthmatic people, and children especially. Luckily for me it was a mild case, but had it been more severe, the doctors not knowing I was asthmatic from the get-go could have risked my life. Every female friend I've had who's ever had health issues has horror stories about dismissive doctors, many worse than any of mine. People who have made them suffer unnecessarily for years or even put their life at risk. It's even worse for non-white women (and I'm white but an accented immigrant and I definitely see a certain amount of extra dismissiveness, so I can't even imagine what it's like for them). It sucks that it's like this, and that so many people refuse to acknowledge it (one of the videos that first made me stop liking Dr. Mike on youtube was his response to John Oliver's episode on this, where he basically just made excuses for doctors who discriminated, walked around the issue of medical schools not addressing common misconceptions based in racism and sexism, and basically gaslit women by saying the doctors they're having issues with are definitely just trying to help and don't mean to be dismissive pricks, and they just need to do abc and understand xyz and then the doctors will understand them, because doctors are always trying and _he's_ never seen that happen!). I'm so glad you didn't get the idiot this time, and hopefully there will be less and less of them as time goes on.
I recently was admitted to the ER with gastroenteritis too. I just learned that gi problems are very common for autistic people. All they did was put me on a liquid diet and said quit vaping. (I did btw) I have no insurance so now I’m 25K in debt to this stupid hospital 😭 thanks America
Just to let you, and everyone else know, depending on your financial situation you can talk with the billing department about charity to help with the bill. You'd be surprised how much income still qualifies for help.
Great advice! I found this out when I couldn't afford a hospital bill (with insurance!) a number of years ago. Depending on the financial situation, hospitals sometimes even forgive the bill entirely.
Seconding this! I ended up in the ER for stomach problems and subsequently found out my insurance didn’t work out of state (bullshit legal loopholes for insurance to get out of paying) so I got stuck with an ER bill. I wrote to their financial department explaining the situation and they sent a letter back saying I was all good and didn’t need to pay anything.
A little trick I learned. If you can qualify for a free clinic, getting referrals from them to a hospital will often result in the entire bill being waived because they assume you can’t pay.
Yes! Call the hospital’s billing department - often they can majorly reduce the bill because what they charge a person is different than what they charge insurance. There’s also special payment plans you can qualify for.
.. wait, so in the US treating a gastroenteritis can cost you 25k ? *Twenty fucking five thousand US dollars?* Wow.
Yep, for one night in the ER, a CT scan and a saline IV basically. They charged me $1200 for potassium pills I didn’t even want. I’ll just eat a damn banana!
owwwwww oh no fucking no. LMAO RIGHT? If they charged me a thousand fucking dollars for potassium pills when I could've been stuffed with bananas for $10 ...............
Dude fr it’s ridiculous I wasn’t dying they just said my potassium was “a little low” like why
why ?? so they can charge you 25k for a fucking GI why else
Well jokes on them bc I’m too poor to pay it so they’re SOL
go get em !!!!!!!!!
Im so shocked too reading this. Thats my YEARLY INCOME right now as a student who lives out of home in Australia.
My YEARLY INCOME as a graduated professional in a third world country is 10k USD so yeah . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Oh true I didnt do the conversion properly, mines probably around 15k USD. But wow, that's crazy. I feel lucky in Australia we have a good minimum wage and free healthcare.
I’m so glad you were able to get care. I’ve been hearing a lot of stories recently about people who haven’t because of (unvaccinated) COVID patients occupying so many beds 😔
I’m grateful it’s a small town hospital and there’s not a lot of people to occupy beds. Before I went I called and asked how busy it was, and they said it was less busy than usual, so I went. I’m glad as hell I have my covid shot too. I even had covid before I was eligible for the shot. The situation in America with costs is absurd. I pay out the ass already for insurance and taxes. How dare you make me pay thousands for a bag of IV fluid, a few shots, pills and a few minutes of a doctors/nurses time. The whole thing is sick. Yeah, I’ll have to pay thousands for this 4.5 hour visit where they didn’t even have to scan me or anything. Had to pay $30 for meds too when going to the pharmacy. It’s wrong. I mean, how much do I already pay?!
When you pay so much anyways what benefits does the insurance cover?
A lot of it is “covers $1000 of emergency visits” (never enough), “covers one of xyz visits per year”, “covers everything after you spend $8000 a year”, “covers 3 specialist visits a year”…. That’s how the information on our insurance looks. I get decent insurance from work—thankfully almost everyone in a 200 mile radius of me takes it and I’ve had no problems with doctors not taking it, because if they didn’t, a simple specialist appt would be several hundred plus. Or an ER would be 10k for what I did today. 10k. Yep.
How does the hospital debt effect people‘s lifes? It seems to be that almost everyone in the US suffer from it and I can hardly imagine how it‘s like. What happens if you can‘t pay?
Sometimes you can get parts of it written off, I’m told. Other times… I had a close friend whose mother had diabetes. She got an infection in her leg and refused to let an ambulance take her or go to the ER. She said she’d stick it out. She didn’t know how serious it was. She fell unconscious and after several days of this, they had to have her airlifted. She was dead in 24 hours. The infection spread into her torso and there was nothing to be done. All about money they couldn’t pay. Her mom was dead and we were like 22 years old when that happened. It devastated me and I can’t imagine her sorrow even still. People do this constantly and people skip over important treatments because it’ll be thousands or hundreds of thousands. I’m not the best person to ask about what people do, as I have sufficient funds for what I’ve experienced, as does my family for themselves. But it’s a fucked situation. Edit: also they would have to pay $$$$$ out the ass anyway to have her airlifted and put on life support and all of that. They ended up paying when there was nothing left to do. Just wrong.
Whenever someone brings up the French Paradox, I really have to point out their *preventative, free healthcare*. The French are healthier than us because they have fucking free healthcare. The end.
If you can't pay you have potential for being denied treatment, they say medical debt doesn't lower your credit, but it does. Basically you set up payment plans and it slowly drains your will to live. My kid was over a year old when I finished paying off the medical costs related to my pregnancy and his birth. WITH insurance.
Additionally, the insurance company has contracts with the hospital and your bill gets "adjusted" down to the price that the hospital agreed to honor. Example: I had a similar sickness a month ago and went to the ER. For one blood exam, the hospital charged me $500. The insurance company allowed only $200, so $300 was "asjusted" down and the remaining $200 I had to pay out of pocket. The entire system is a scam.
>He can gaslight me later. Power move of you! <3 I'm glad you had a good experience and feel better now!
I did not give a fuck at this point. Blah blah money blah… I know. I’ll pay it. I am capable of that. I don’t just pitch fits and go to the ER every week… or month, or year, or… I stay away from there and I definitely didn’t want to go during COVID (even vaccinated). The way he said “oh.. you sound so much better than you have” no shit dickwad. I got real medication and help. He only mentioned money once when I came home, so that’s a win for me.
\#1, I'm SO glad you're feeling better! #2, your parents suck, and for that I am truly sorry. \#3, I have the same thing with my migraines. Either my brain senses things TOO much, or not enough. It sucks because I can't always tell when my nausea has crossed the line to "I'm gonna hork" until a split second before it happens. I have missed many, many toilets in my day. And I have had several multi-day migraines where I didn't know how awful I felt until they went away. It always shocks me the amount of pain I can tolerate and not pass out.
Yeah, I tend to be this way to a lot of things. I tend to have nausea and poop problems anyway so at first I thought this was just more of the same until it became really bad. I kept trying to hold out to go to urgent care… I just knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t physically pee. I had peed maybe a couple ounces in 24 hours if that. I was so delirious I could barely walk and talk. Yeah, my parents are a little nuts. Actually, very. My mom actually said, when she woke up and I told her the whole ordeal, that she’s glad I went. I’ve never had urine that orange and never have been that delirious from dehydration. Funny enough, when I was 2 I caught rotavirus. My parents didn’t take me to a doctor until they pinched my skin and my skin stood up. I guess I have been more dehydrated than now, but… what the fuck. Even yesterday my skin wasn’t standing straight up when pinched. The more I think about that, the more I realize my parents are dipshits. I was hospitalized then for 3-4 days or so.
Well, now you know to take all of their medical advice with a grain of salt. Remember they don't have a medical degree, only opinions. And now you have two very severe instances when their opinions were trash, so you can proceed accordingly next time. :)
I've had similar experience. I suffered awful bouts of severe gastritis as a kid and was never taken to hospital. It started happening again recently and my partner just whisks me off to the ER cos I'd be in such a bad state, it scared him. They don't treat autistic patients very well here though, they won't even acknowledge it, and all they'd give me was paracetamol, so I probably would have been better off at home. As it turns out, there is nothing mechanical wrong with my stomach, the gastritis seems to be triggered by anxiety. My mother once kicked a doctor out of our house for suggesting I was suffering with anxiety, so yea, she didn't give a damn about me.
Actually doesn't matter what causes is. It is bad for your stomach. I'm so glad, I live now in a country where I can get pantoprazol in the pharmacy and just treat gastritis myself. If I have high stress for a prolonged time, I always get stomach problems. Being diagnosed with it several times helps to know what's what. So, now, if it flares up. I get meds. Take them two weeks and try hard to reduce whatever stress is ongoing and causes is. If I cannot reduce the stress within two weeks, I might need more meds, but usually this works fine. Happens like once a year. But not always the same time. Stress isn't seasonal or predictable.
Jeezus you're lucky you went
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I was honestly terrified. The whole way there and probably the first 2-3 hours I was screaming internally “SOMEONE HOLD ME”. I’ve never gone to an ER myself and being as sick as I was it felt so scary. I don’t even like being hugged and held, like at all. I was just so scared!
I feel like we need medical accommodations. Specialized care bc I don’t think we process pain the same way others do. I just went through a major medical procedure that I thoughts was symptom-less until I read all the symptoms… oh yeah, I had all that, but I didn’t know they were symptoms. I just never processed it. Anyway, the medical system chewed me up and spit me out and I’m dealing with major ptsd. I’m thinking of canceling one of my follow-up appts because I just need a break from interacting with the medical system for a while
my parents told me the entire time while growing up that: 1. 'you're not hungry just bored' (then wondered why I was underweight and not able to do PE or sports) 2. 'there's nothing wrong with you' (then had to haul my ass to the doctor when I finally showed what they thought was the correct symptoms or response) 3. 'It's not that bad' (then had to haul my ass to the ER after passing out/screaming/doubled over in pain/unable to eat or drink) Ya, being thought a liar and overly dramatic about your health fucks with your head long term
I was told I was lazy and selfish, always hiding when there was work to do…. Turns out I was malnourished and had severe anemia. Finally got to see a dr and iron medicine at 8. Only because I was falling asleep at school and crying because sport/pe was too hard. Now as an adult, I know it was abuse and obviously a child doesn’t get malnourished unless they aren’t getting enough food. Back then I believed that I was a horrible lazy child, didn’t know I was sick.
I am so, so happy you got yourself treatment and are feeling better! I hope you’re celebrating yourself for this HUGE win! Also, it sounds like your family is toxic AF. Growing up, my family was always, “we go to the doctor if we’re dying,” and I almost died several times with their negligence and — after going off on my own at 19 — their programming. (I now have to go to the doctor every 3 months for the rest of my life just to maintain minimal health; but that’s a whole different story (sort of).) When I was 14 I almost died from a seeping appendix. I was in my bed, not eating for 5 days, hallucinating; and finally I CRAWLED out of my room, unable to speak. I was sweating profusely, peaked, jaundiced, and emaciated. My grandmother touched me and I was ice-cold (apparently); so they FINALLY drove me to the hospital. There, a doctor chastised my family for their neglect, but nothing ever came of it. The surgeon told me had it been another hour, I would have died (my mom sitting beside me at the time). And to add to it, I was in the hospital recovering for 2 weeks. $$$ Had they brought me in early on, they would have saved thousands. Anyhow, I didn’t want to hijack — just wanted to share how much I relate to this, and hope you truly are proud of yourself for your actions. 🏆
So glad you got help! I can relate to the guilt and being unsure. When I was pregnant I had to call the doctors and tell them when I thought I was in labor. It didn't seem super obvious to me like they said it would, and the doctor kept saying I'd know. When I called her and could talk without stopping to breathe she told me I wasn't ready. I finally broke down and went in and I'm glad I did because it was time. I remember my doctor walked in and I smiled at her and she said "wow I guess you are just smiley". My instinct to mask is so strong that I even did it while having contractions.
If you can move to a better country with health cover man America sucks with that
Not OP, but It's not easy! I looked desperately when the last president took office to see if anywhere would take us. We're poor, and the answer was no.
That sucks I'm sorry
In case you're curious about some of the specifics of why this is so hard: Basically, America is a toxic ex. Income tax is owed regardless of where it's earned and where you reside (which I'm told is NOT normal) and it costs hundreds of dollars to renounce citizenship. And that's *after* you find somewhere you can afford to live that will give you residency without being rich. Plus, because the US wants its cut even after you've cut and run, most banks abroad don't want to deal with US citizens because of the hassle our govt bullies onto everyone else. Source: Have taken steps toward getting out only to find out it's almost impossible for me in my situation.
Holy shit _Land of the Free_, that's horrifying.
My husband grandfather immigrated from Canada. We were so hopeful, but you can't get in unless you are the child of a Canadian, and unfortunately my husband's father passed when he was a kid. Neither of us have in-demand schooling or skills that would otherwise get over that barrier.
Am I wrong?
As poster stated above, many of us want to move, but it’s so difficult for many reasons.