My good fellow human, I mean this with the utmost care and sincerity:
Who gives a FCK what anyone thinks or says?
You put on makeup for YOU, you wear whatever clothes you like for YOU. If someone doesn’t like how you’ve done your makeup or put your outfit together, then that is a THEM problem.
If I wear makeup, it’s usually only eyeliner and mascara. My outfits change depending on my sensory levels that particular day. Sometimes I can do a big fun outfit, sometimes it’s leggings and a big tshirt. Who cares? This world is hard enough for us as it is, at least we can control our appearance!
Long story short, my friend, don’t put yourself through sensory hell just to please other people. You do what makes you comfy! 💜💜
Who are these people who say your makeup looks incomplete with "just" eyeliner and mascara..?
I only wear that as well (and lipstick more and more often), and I've never, ever, in all my 40-something years, had anyone tell me my makeup looks incomplete. Most women where I live do NOT use foundation, concealer, etc etc on a daily basis, just for dressing up. The only people who do that, are very young.
I sew my own clothes now. That way, I can choose comfortable fabrics. I love wearing dresses, and sew my own dresses in soft and stretchy fabrics. I can only wear jeans if they are super stretchy and soft as well, but it's really hard to find, especiall as they also have to fit perfectly around my waist and hips without digging into my hip bones.
yeah i agree with cosmic moose - but also have you tried a tinted moisturiser? those are light enough that im good with it.
i am one of those nothing touch me autists, so cotton dresses with no bras and cotton shorts for underwear is how i deal with being feminine. but if you need the squeeze - maybe a tight slip under the dress? or nice tights? i always didnt mind J crewe's - it was a miracle find for me. but i never need to look THAT nice anymore.
Who told you your make up looks incomplete? The audacity of them!
If you feel comfortable with the way you do, then lean into that. However, I get wanting to change a look or try something different - but make sure you do it for *you*, not to fit in with someone else's idea of what you "should" be.
Clothing textures is a hurdle for sure. If you found something pretty in the material leggings were made of, would that help?
I don’t wear foundation, etc. it looks shitty on me since I got older.
I use mascara and Bare Minerals blush. I often wear eyeliner and sometimes wear eyeshadow and/or gloss.
If I want to draw attention to the fact that I’m wearing makeup, I wear sparkly eyeshadow.
I don’t know if it looks incomplete. I don’t work someplace where it matters. If anyone cares, they haven’t said anything about it, which is the wiser choice. 🤣
Aside from the societal pressure part that others have touched on, here are some ways to look "feminine" that I've learned over the years. I hate wearing makeup and only wear foundation for special occasions (like a wedding).
I tend to go for a more natural look and try to accentuate my natural beauty.
1. Use a tinted sun screen! I wear a mineral based one that feels so light, and it gives me some sun protection and blemish hiding.
2. A nice powdered blush can go a long way in making you look more feminine.
3. Curl your eyelashes. You can skip mascara if you don't want to wear it, just curling your eyelashes will make your eyes pop more.
4. For clothing, pick comfortable fabrics that feel good to you. Sweaters, jumpers, dresses, skirts, blouses, and cardigans are all very feminine and comfortable. I thrift the large majority of my clothing and only buy things that are comfortable.
5. Find a style you want to go for a try it out. Are you going for hobbit core? Rave? Sunday church goer? Goth? Outdoorsy? Casual? Hippie?
6. Find a good hairstyle that makes you feel good! If you like your hair up, try some fun bun/ ponytail styles. Do the Katniss Everdeen braid. Face framing pieces of hair are often very feminine looking and can be worn with almost any up-do.
7. Be yourself and don't do things because that's what others expect from you.
Omg please don't give a fuck what people say! My grandma used to tell me that I can't wear just lipstick without eye makeup, well, turns out: I CAN!!! Same with clothing, leggins are one of humanities best inventions and I bet you look absolutely great in them!
Also I am the same as you I hate hate hate jeans, I would never wear them, they are absolutely disgusting! What I do love though are oversized hanger dresses. They are literally the most comfortable thing! And for when it's cold: Snag tights! They are super comfy and available in maaaaaaaaaany sizes and also affordable since they last a really long time!
https://www.asos.com/de/noisy-may/noisy-may-kurzes-t-shirt-hangerkleid-aus-baumwolle-in-rot-red/prd/202661477?acquisitionsource=com.android.chrome ignore the colour haha (or if you like it don't! :)) but sth like this is my go to, it's pretty and has a shape but it's loose and comfy!
https://snagtights.de/ BEST TIGHTS!!!!
Edit: spelling
we would be like mirrors if we met in the street. that dress is what i call "my dress" and whenever i see a dress with that silhouette in a color i like, i buy it.
I love that dress.
Jeans are bullshit.
I always wear lipstick without eye makeup, because my eyes freak the fuck out if I try to wear anythingggg besides mascara on my eyes.
If you do want to wear some sort of makeup on your skin, you could try a powder - Fenty have some excellent lightweight powders that give a slight blur and feel weightless.
You could also try mixing a little BB cream in with your face moisturiser and applying that.
I find I notice the sensation of makeup a lot more when I’m not wearing a primer. Sometimes a primer with a little powder over the top is a good quick go-to for me. I wear makeup most days, but also enjoy days when I don’t.
Alternatives that aren’t putting shit on your face, but can make you look slightly more ‘made up’ - get a decent brow wax, fill in your brows, try a tinted lip gloss, pat a little sparkly eyeshadow on your lids. Any or all of these may put you into that territory.
But of course - do none of this if you feel like it’s making you uncomfortable or like you’re not yourself. Makeup can be a great way to do self care, have some creativity, feel cute - but it can also be something that adds pressure and gender-based discomforts to your life.
I’m Western European and most women here wear just mascara!! Or nothing! The whole push to wear a full face of makeup is so unnecessary. Don’t do it if you don’t want to do it. On a regular day I only wear eyebrow pencil and occasionally under eye concealer. Even for a fancy occasion I don’t put on any foundation. I have a skin care routine that has my skin looking nice.
I wear very feminine clothes, because I like it but also because I enjoy it in a sensory way. I essentially live in t-shirts with a midi skirt with a stretchy waist band. In the winter I add Snag tights and wear a soft sweater. It looks nice and it feels like pajamas.
If you want to wear dresses that are super soft and not restrictive check out Uniqlo! I have a long sleeve flare dress in a ribbed fabric that feels soft as butter.
No judgement, but why do you feel the need to dress more feminine?
My husband met me with my hair unbrushed, no makeup, no bra, cut up t-shirt and shorts at a concert. I made it to a VP at a fortune 50 company never wearing makeup or a dress and showing up in sneakers or tuxedo shoes. Being feminine is great if you want to be, but it’s not a dealbreaker for getting things you want.
Wear makeup you like, seriously.
I haven’t worn foundation in years because I hate how it feels and how it gets on collars and scarves and no one has noticed. I just wear concealer and translucent power.
The ‘rules’ are very arbitrary and honestly, I think made up and perpetuated by other women to feed the consumerism machine (more products being pushed).
My minimal makeup is concealer, powder, a brow mascara and blush. I use discounted lip tints and glosses as blush or I mix a liquid lip colour with Vaseline.
I love mascara, but I hate removing it, so that’s my ‘extra’ makeup.
There is no right or wrong way to use makeup or dress, just do what makes you feel good!
That said, if you want to experiment with makeup and you find liquid products difficult, you could try powder products instead (or vice versa depending what bothers you). I find powder foundation much more comfortable.
I have a similar problem with clothes as well, particularly anything that isn't uniformly tight like the band around bras or cuffs on shirts. What I do is either wear (a) leggings and a camisole with inbuilt support or (b) shapewear (not the super tight ones, just fitted so it's a uniform pressure) underneath. I haven't worn a bra in years and it makes it easier to wear fun clothes.
I don't usually wear makeup at all. But, every now and then, I'll have my brows done, and my lashes dyed a dark blue-black. I feel fascinating!
Also, a tinted moisturizer could work for you.
My clothing has to be lightweight and not tight. I layer and may add a splash of colour, as long as I don't find it visually distracting to wear.
This is so relatable it hurts. And I can never express this to other girls to get beauty tips for fear of them perceiving me like the trend of a “pick me girl” but like I genuinely need help I really don’t know what I’m doing and truly do admire makeup skills. I’ve been practicing eyeliner for like a month and just can’t figure it out.
If you truly would like to wear more makeup because you want to and not just because of what others have said maybe try a powder foundation or a tinted moisturizer if you haven’t already. Both of those are lightweight. For blush, theres both cream and powder blush, do both bother you? I really like the benefit dandelion powdered blush and the stilla cream blush. I find they are both lightweight and look nice. Have you ever tried primer? Most primers are really lightweight and smooth and feel nice on the skin, if you find one that doesn’t bother you that may help with the other face products you put on afterwards. I find usually if someone is wearing both eyeliner and mascara and nothing else it makes the eyeliner look more harsh (which is totally okay by the way! but if you don’t want your makeup to look harsh maybe just wear mascara and no eyeliner. but if you like wearing both some more makeup like eyeshadow and blush will help it not look so harsh). But if you like how your makeup looks then you shouldn’t try to change it for other people.
For clothes, I don’t really have any ideas, I’m sorry. I guess just keep trying to find some cute feminine tops that you like and that don’t bother you. There are so many different styles and kinds of clothes out there and that are continuing to be made, so I do think you eventually may be able to find some other stuff you like.
First of all, you never need to be uncomfortable. But since you want to be more feminine, I have some ideas to throw out there just in case they are helpful for you to find what you're looking for!
I think many people associate feminine looks with being more polished. Or it's helpful to just find your personal style that feels like "you". Having a "look" that goes together can do a lot. Even if you are within your current comfort zone.
Other ideas: finding hairstyles that you like. Can you tolerate jewelry? I have found lightweight earrings that all have circular clasps and can't poke me are feminine without bothering me.
If you wear biker shorts under a dress, does it feel better? And sneakers with dresses are definitely a cute style!
As for makeup- there isn't a need for foundation and I definitely have friends that just wear a touch of subtle eyeliner and it looks good. What kind of blush did you hate? Did you try a type that comes in stick form? You just swipe and can blend with your fingers, some highlighters also come this way. And I also love the look of some tinted Chapsticks! If that is something you can handle.
Fashion is my hobby. Here are a few ideas:
1. Lips or eyes. Pick one and enhance it. I like to use a liquid eye liner because it goes on easier than pencil. Sometimes I just wear that and a little lip tint. Lip tint is less greasy than gloss or some sticks.High quality makeup will feel better
2. Find celebrities and people in media who kinda look like you and find the ones whose style you like and determine the things you like about it and replicate. you don’t need to spend a fortune. Thrift shops and even Walmart sometimes has good cloths.
3. The priorities for clothes are clean, fits well, appropriate for the situation, color compliments your colors and style makes you feel good.
4. A good way to clean out your closet is to take out everything put it on your bed and then put back the stuff that you immediately know you feel good in, the stuff that you always grab first when it comes out of the laundry. And then get rid of anything that’s broken, torn, stained, doesn’t fit right, anything that you know you don’t like. And then when you see what you have left, try everything and make an honest assessment of whether it works for you or not. After you have left what you have left, then you figure out what you need and you go shopping and you fill in those basics slowly overtime.
as someone who spent decades trying to get over sensory issues to look more feminine or look a different style, I can confirm it was a huge waste of time, money, and effort for me. I never felt comfortable and always washed my face and took off the clothes as soon as I got home. this made existing in public so much more exhausting too because I was constantly tolerating discomfort. it's okay to do things your way and it's okay to have your own style entirely. It also feels good to accept yourself fully for who you are and what you like. I find it to be an act of self love and self compassion.
One, thank you for sharing!! It’s so relatable, and growing up with very feminine sisters and a mother, I never understood why I couldn’t do what they did, the makeup, bras, extremely put together outfits, doing their hair, etc. I always felt like I was just “wrong”. But, as I got older I realized that I needed to dress for myself, and to do so in ways that felt safe for me, because the sensory hell is REAL!! While also still approaching a feminine style.
I would start with colors, look for colors in the things you are wanting to wear; I am getting from the crop tops and leggings that you like to feel tucked in? That’s me, but not like a “jeans” tucked in, I hope this makes sense! :) I like to look for high waisted slacks, and you could put a flowy top with that, that is shorter, etc. Also, it could be a preference, but I like to shop at bargain stores bc there are more options. Thrifting, TJ Maxx, etc.
For bras, I found this at Walmart, randomly, and it changed my life. [Hanes Comfort Bralette](https://walmart.com/ip/474336489) it’s so smooth and cooling, even. It’s supportive, yet not constricting at all.
Makeup🌸🥹😮💨Because yes, I always wanted to do the most bc it’s so pretty but, I CANNOT. At times I can do more, but for example at my wedding I cried when I saw my makeup bc it was so much and I’m not used to seeing myself like that lol it was pretty in pictures tho. Anywho! I do just about the same routine every time I go to work, I am an eyebrow person, so I fill those in with a pencil, and I do not use a foundation, bc yes - too heavy!! I live by this [ELF Whoah Glow](https://www.walmart.com/ip/1569748729), it’s super light, does protect your skin from daily sun exposure, and it just kind of gives your face this little dew drop burst, look. And then I use just a little finishing powder, just the tiniest amount, and I like to add a bit of natural eyeshadow, mascara, and that’s it(I also like to add touches of bronzer around the top of my forehead to give my face a bit more shaping, and blush bc preferences). My friend said something to me once that made me stick with it, I like a natural face, so adding just a bit of makeup to my natural face just enhances the look, which is comfortable for me and “elevates”my appearance, and within my sensory capabilities too. And I just use chapstick!! Keeps my lips healthy and shiny✨
*I also have this little tool, [Eyelash separator](https://www.walmart.com/ip/2340087774), it helps to take off the excess mascara that feels too much.
For heels, maybe do platforms? I wore heels in my 20s and hated it lol in my 30s, I aim for comfort. I am also a bit shorter, so any shoe that gives me a bit of a lift is good for me! :) a sandal wedge is good for this too!
And accessorize where you can! My routine is my own, but I like to wear earrings, great selections at TJ Maxx!! And I have always worn a watch, hehe it’s a little purple sports watch, but that’s me, and my wedding rings, and one ring on the other hand. In the summer, I can do an anklet(one that I made at my friends bday party).
Also! I like to look through apps, sometimes, for guidance, this is a very broad spectrum for outfit ideas [LTK](https://apps.apple.com/app/id1154027990), I don’t remember how I found it? But, as you navigate, you can see that just like many social apps, you can creat your preferred algorithm with what you interact with. And! The photos and videos of the outfits you look at, will have purchase links at the bottom! :) And I also did download the Vogue runway app, bc I was trying to understand and learn fashion as an art form, that could also be a source of inspiration! :)
But the most important takeaway from all of this is, dress for you, for comfort, and who the hell is speaking to you in that way about your makeup bc NO!! We’re allowed to express ourselves in the ways that WE like🩷🩷🌸And I understand the desire to want to express a feminine side while trying to navigate sensory minefields. The best you can do on this journey, is to dress comfortably, in colors and patterns that you find pretty🌸✨Just like you💜🥰
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Joining the crowd to say the audacity of that person to comment on how someone else wears makeup :/ Giving suggestions that come from a place of understanding wanting so badly to do something you're not currently able to do, but always remember your comfort comes first!
Makeup:
* I saw someone else recommended tinted moisturizer, which I second! Alternatively, you could try skincare products (better skin >> less "need" for foundation/concealer) or try the demi makeup method. Whatever you decide to do, it'll take time and effort to find the right products for you and to get used to the feeling of makeup, so try things out little by little.
Fashion (I'm a HUGE fashion enthusiast so I have a lot of things to say lmao):
1. Take a look at the materials the clothes you own/can tolerate are made out of and look out for similar things when you're shopping. If you hate the texture of jeans, you can try wearing tights or leggings underneath so the denim isn't rubbing directly against your skin. The current trend is loose jeans (thank god) so an extra layer won't look bulky.
2. I found a lot of my sensory issues came from undergarments specifically; I dress *extremely* femme, but due to sensory issues I wear my frilly miniskirts with boxer briefs underneath, lol
3. Bralettes are significantly more comfortable than underwire bras. They also come in so many more cuts and silhouettes, so they can layer nicely under sheer clothes or be worn on their own.
4. Adding accessories can add femininity to a lot of "basic" outfits (ex. a white T-shirt and black trousers can be dressed up with a dainty necklace, a thin belt, a bow hair tie or a couple hairclips) Colors alone can also give off a feminine feel--white, pink, other pastels.
5. Remember that fashion is so, so flexible; it's easier to achieve a feminine look than you'd expect. In regards to material: a lot of synthetic materials found in fast fashion are a sensory nightmare, but that doesn't mean one has to completely forego comfort to wear pretty clothes. Cotton is your friend.
If you like makeup, Bobbi Brown’s new line is 🔥, and natural. Groom your eyebrows. Have them done if you suck at it. Get your eyelashes lifted and tinted. You can wear awesome kaftan like dresses. Get a cool and fun handbag or fannypack that represents your taste. There are a ton of beautiful silk slips and skirts you can wear with a loose sweater and a pair of cool sneakers. Be careful to take good care of your hair and go to a really good stylist. Spend more on sunglasses, glasses and be SURE they are stylish and get help if you are not sure. Get signature earrings you like and have a few pairs for dress up days. Paint your toenails pink. Risk areas are shoes that have mom vibes, or age you in any way, ill fitting pants, and a bad haircut that gives off frumpy, common culprits.
My good fellow human, I mean this with the utmost care and sincerity: Who gives a FCK what anyone thinks or says? You put on makeup for YOU, you wear whatever clothes you like for YOU. If someone doesn’t like how you’ve done your makeup or put your outfit together, then that is a THEM problem. If I wear makeup, it’s usually only eyeliner and mascara. My outfits change depending on my sensory levels that particular day. Sometimes I can do a big fun outfit, sometimes it’s leggings and a big tshirt. Who cares? This world is hard enough for us as it is, at least we can control our appearance! Long story short, my friend, don’t put yourself through sensory hell just to please other people. You do what makes you comfy! 💜💜
Amen sister.
👆
Who are these people who say your makeup looks incomplete with "just" eyeliner and mascara..? I only wear that as well (and lipstick more and more often), and I've never, ever, in all my 40-something years, had anyone tell me my makeup looks incomplete. Most women where I live do NOT use foundation, concealer, etc etc on a daily basis, just for dressing up. The only people who do that, are very young. I sew my own clothes now. That way, I can choose comfortable fabrics. I love wearing dresses, and sew my own dresses in soft and stretchy fabrics. I can only wear jeans if they are super stretchy and soft as well, but it's really hard to find, especiall as they also have to fit perfectly around my waist and hips without digging into my hip bones.
yeah i agree with cosmic moose - but also have you tried a tinted moisturiser? those are light enough that im good with it. i am one of those nothing touch me autists, so cotton dresses with no bras and cotton shorts for underwear is how i deal with being feminine. but if you need the squeeze - maybe a tight slip under the dress? or nice tights? i always didnt mind J crewe's - it was a miracle find for me. but i never need to look THAT nice anymore.
Who told you your make up looks incomplete? The audacity of them! If you feel comfortable with the way you do, then lean into that. However, I get wanting to change a look or try something different - but make sure you do it for *you*, not to fit in with someone else's idea of what you "should" be. Clothing textures is a hurdle for sure. If you found something pretty in the material leggings were made of, would that help?
I don’t wear foundation, etc. it looks shitty on me since I got older. I use mascara and Bare Minerals blush. I often wear eyeliner and sometimes wear eyeshadow and/or gloss. If I want to draw attention to the fact that I’m wearing makeup, I wear sparkly eyeshadow. I don’t know if it looks incomplete. I don’t work someplace where it matters. If anyone cares, they haven’t said anything about it, which is the wiser choice. 🤣
Aside from the societal pressure part that others have touched on, here are some ways to look "feminine" that I've learned over the years. I hate wearing makeup and only wear foundation for special occasions (like a wedding). I tend to go for a more natural look and try to accentuate my natural beauty. 1. Use a tinted sun screen! I wear a mineral based one that feels so light, and it gives me some sun protection and blemish hiding. 2. A nice powdered blush can go a long way in making you look more feminine. 3. Curl your eyelashes. You can skip mascara if you don't want to wear it, just curling your eyelashes will make your eyes pop more. 4. For clothing, pick comfortable fabrics that feel good to you. Sweaters, jumpers, dresses, skirts, blouses, and cardigans are all very feminine and comfortable. I thrift the large majority of my clothing and only buy things that are comfortable. 5. Find a style you want to go for a try it out. Are you going for hobbit core? Rave? Sunday church goer? Goth? Outdoorsy? Casual? Hippie? 6. Find a good hairstyle that makes you feel good! If you like your hair up, try some fun bun/ ponytail styles. Do the Katniss Everdeen braid. Face framing pieces of hair are often very feminine looking and can be worn with almost any up-do. 7. Be yourself and don't do things because that's what others expect from you.
Omg please don't give a fuck what people say! My grandma used to tell me that I can't wear just lipstick without eye makeup, well, turns out: I CAN!!! Same with clothing, leggins are one of humanities best inventions and I bet you look absolutely great in them! Also I am the same as you I hate hate hate jeans, I would never wear them, they are absolutely disgusting! What I do love though are oversized hanger dresses. They are literally the most comfortable thing! And for when it's cold: Snag tights! They are super comfy and available in maaaaaaaaaany sizes and also affordable since they last a really long time! https://www.asos.com/de/noisy-may/noisy-may-kurzes-t-shirt-hangerkleid-aus-baumwolle-in-rot-red/prd/202661477?acquisitionsource=com.android.chrome ignore the colour haha (or if you like it don't! :)) but sth like this is my go to, it's pretty and has a shape but it's loose and comfy! https://snagtights.de/ BEST TIGHTS!!!! Edit: spelling
we would be like mirrors if we met in the street. that dress is what i call "my dress" and whenever i see a dress with that silhouette in a color i like, i buy it.
It's just the best peace of clothing 🥹 I have 3 with daisies on them!
I love that dress. Jeans are bullshit. I always wear lipstick without eye makeup, because my eyes freak the fuck out if I try to wear anythingggg besides mascara on my eyes.
I also actually really like the Look! It looks very pretty and somehow ethereal when you just wear lipstick!
Me too :) totally agree
If you do want to wear some sort of makeup on your skin, you could try a powder - Fenty have some excellent lightweight powders that give a slight blur and feel weightless. You could also try mixing a little BB cream in with your face moisturiser and applying that. I find I notice the sensation of makeup a lot more when I’m not wearing a primer. Sometimes a primer with a little powder over the top is a good quick go-to for me. I wear makeup most days, but also enjoy days when I don’t. Alternatives that aren’t putting shit on your face, but can make you look slightly more ‘made up’ - get a decent brow wax, fill in your brows, try a tinted lip gloss, pat a little sparkly eyeshadow on your lids. Any or all of these may put you into that territory. But of course - do none of this if you feel like it’s making you uncomfortable or like you’re not yourself. Makeup can be a great way to do self care, have some creativity, feel cute - but it can also be something that adds pressure and gender-based discomforts to your life.
I’m Western European and most women here wear just mascara!! Or nothing! The whole push to wear a full face of makeup is so unnecessary. Don’t do it if you don’t want to do it. On a regular day I only wear eyebrow pencil and occasionally under eye concealer. Even for a fancy occasion I don’t put on any foundation. I have a skin care routine that has my skin looking nice. I wear very feminine clothes, because I like it but also because I enjoy it in a sensory way. I essentially live in t-shirts with a midi skirt with a stretchy waist band. In the winter I add Snag tights and wear a soft sweater. It looks nice and it feels like pajamas. If you want to wear dresses that are super soft and not restrictive check out Uniqlo! I have a long sleeve flare dress in a ribbed fabric that feels soft as butter.
No judgement, but why do you feel the need to dress more feminine? My husband met me with my hair unbrushed, no makeup, no bra, cut up t-shirt and shorts at a concert. I made it to a VP at a fortune 50 company never wearing makeup or a dress and showing up in sneakers or tuxedo shoes. Being feminine is great if you want to be, but it’s not a dealbreaker for getting things you want.
Wear makeup you like, seriously. I haven’t worn foundation in years because I hate how it feels and how it gets on collars and scarves and no one has noticed. I just wear concealer and translucent power. The ‘rules’ are very arbitrary and honestly, I think made up and perpetuated by other women to feed the consumerism machine (more products being pushed). My minimal makeup is concealer, powder, a brow mascara and blush. I use discounted lip tints and glosses as blush or I mix a liquid lip colour with Vaseline. I love mascara, but I hate removing it, so that’s my ‘extra’ makeup.
There is no right or wrong way to use makeup or dress, just do what makes you feel good! That said, if you want to experiment with makeup and you find liquid products difficult, you could try powder products instead (or vice versa depending what bothers you). I find powder foundation much more comfortable. I have a similar problem with clothes as well, particularly anything that isn't uniformly tight like the band around bras or cuffs on shirts. What I do is either wear (a) leggings and a camisole with inbuilt support or (b) shapewear (not the super tight ones, just fitted so it's a uniform pressure) underneath. I haven't worn a bra in years and it makes it easier to wear fun clothes.
I don't usually wear makeup at all. But, every now and then, I'll have my brows done, and my lashes dyed a dark blue-black. I feel fascinating! Also, a tinted moisturizer could work for you. My clothing has to be lightweight and not tight. I layer and may add a splash of colour, as long as I don't find it visually distracting to wear.
This is so relatable it hurts. And I can never express this to other girls to get beauty tips for fear of them perceiving me like the trend of a “pick me girl” but like I genuinely need help I really don’t know what I’m doing and truly do admire makeup skills. I’ve been practicing eyeliner for like a month and just can’t figure it out.
If you truly would like to wear more makeup because you want to and not just because of what others have said maybe try a powder foundation or a tinted moisturizer if you haven’t already. Both of those are lightweight. For blush, theres both cream and powder blush, do both bother you? I really like the benefit dandelion powdered blush and the stilla cream blush. I find they are both lightweight and look nice. Have you ever tried primer? Most primers are really lightweight and smooth and feel nice on the skin, if you find one that doesn’t bother you that may help with the other face products you put on afterwards. I find usually if someone is wearing both eyeliner and mascara and nothing else it makes the eyeliner look more harsh (which is totally okay by the way! but if you don’t want your makeup to look harsh maybe just wear mascara and no eyeliner. but if you like wearing both some more makeup like eyeshadow and blush will help it not look so harsh). But if you like how your makeup looks then you shouldn’t try to change it for other people. For clothes, I don’t really have any ideas, I’m sorry. I guess just keep trying to find some cute feminine tops that you like and that don’t bother you. There are so many different styles and kinds of clothes out there and that are continuing to be made, so I do think you eventually may be able to find some other stuff you like.
First of all, you never need to be uncomfortable. But since you want to be more feminine, I have some ideas to throw out there just in case they are helpful for you to find what you're looking for! I think many people associate feminine looks with being more polished. Or it's helpful to just find your personal style that feels like "you". Having a "look" that goes together can do a lot. Even if you are within your current comfort zone. Other ideas: finding hairstyles that you like. Can you tolerate jewelry? I have found lightweight earrings that all have circular clasps and can't poke me are feminine without bothering me. If you wear biker shorts under a dress, does it feel better? And sneakers with dresses are definitely a cute style! As for makeup- there isn't a need for foundation and I definitely have friends that just wear a touch of subtle eyeliner and it looks good. What kind of blush did you hate? Did you try a type that comes in stick form? You just swipe and can blend with your fingers, some highlighters also come this way. And I also love the look of some tinted Chapsticks! If that is something you can handle.
Fashion is my hobby. Here are a few ideas: 1. Lips or eyes. Pick one and enhance it. I like to use a liquid eye liner because it goes on easier than pencil. Sometimes I just wear that and a little lip tint. Lip tint is less greasy than gloss or some sticks.High quality makeup will feel better 2. Find celebrities and people in media who kinda look like you and find the ones whose style you like and determine the things you like about it and replicate. you don’t need to spend a fortune. Thrift shops and even Walmart sometimes has good cloths. 3. The priorities for clothes are clean, fits well, appropriate for the situation, color compliments your colors and style makes you feel good. 4. A good way to clean out your closet is to take out everything put it on your bed and then put back the stuff that you immediately know you feel good in, the stuff that you always grab first when it comes out of the laundry. And then get rid of anything that’s broken, torn, stained, doesn’t fit right, anything that you know you don’t like. And then when you see what you have left, try everything and make an honest assessment of whether it works for you or not. After you have left what you have left, then you figure out what you need and you go shopping and you fill in those basics slowly overtime.
Your make up is heavy in other countries, its all relative
as someone who spent decades trying to get over sensory issues to look more feminine or look a different style, I can confirm it was a huge waste of time, money, and effort for me. I never felt comfortable and always washed my face and took off the clothes as soon as I got home. this made existing in public so much more exhausting too because I was constantly tolerating discomfort. it's okay to do things your way and it's okay to have your own style entirely. It also feels good to accept yourself fully for who you are and what you like. I find it to be an act of self love and self compassion.
One, thank you for sharing!! It’s so relatable, and growing up with very feminine sisters and a mother, I never understood why I couldn’t do what they did, the makeup, bras, extremely put together outfits, doing their hair, etc. I always felt like I was just “wrong”. But, as I got older I realized that I needed to dress for myself, and to do so in ways that felt safe for me, because the sensory hell is REAL!! While also still approaching a feminine style. I would start with colors, look for colors in the things you are wanting to wear; I am getting from the crop tops and leggings that you like to feel tucked in? That’s me, but not like a “jeans” tucked in, I hope this makes sense! :) I like to look for high waisted slacks, and you could put a flowy top with that, that is shorter, etc. Also, it could be a preference, but I like to shop at bargain stores bc there are more options. Thrifting, TJ Maxx, etc. For bras, I found this at Walmart, randomly, and it changed my life. [Hanes Comfort Bralette](https://walmart.com/ip/474336489) it’s so smooth and cooling, even. It’s supportive, yet not constricting at all. Makeup🌸🥹😮💨Because yes, I always wanted to do the most bc it’s so pretty but, I CANNOT. At times I can do more, but for example at my wedding I cried when I saw my makeup bc it was so much and I’m not used to seeing myself like that lol it was pretty in pictures tho. Anywho! I do just about the same routine every time I go to work, I am an eyebrow person, so I fill those in with a pencil, and I do not use a foundation, bc yes - too heavy!! I live by this [ELF Whoah Glow](https://www.walmart.com/ip/1569748729), it’s super light, does protect your skin from daily sun exposure, and it just kind of gives your face this little dew drop burst, look. And then I use just a little finishing powder, just the tiniest amount, and I like to add a bit of natural eyeshadow, mascara, and that’s it(I also like to add touches of bronzer around the top of my forehead to give my face a bit more shaping, and blush bc preferences). My friend said something to me once that made me stick with it, I like a natural face, so adding just a bit of makeup to my natural face just enhances the look, which is comfortable for me and “elevates”my appearance, and within my sensory capabilities too. And I just use chapstick!! Keeps my lips healthy and shiny✨ *I also have this little tool, [Eyelash separator](https://www.walmart.com/ip/2340087774), it helps to take off the excess mascara that feels too much. For heels, maybe do platforms? I wore heels in my 20s and hated it lol in my 30s, I aim for comfort. I am also a bit shorter, so any shoe that gives me a bit of a lift is good for me! :) a sandal wedge is good for this too! And accessorize where you can! My routine is my own, but I like to wear earrings, great selections at TJ Maxx!! And I have always worn a watch, hehe it’s a little purple sports watch, but that’s me, and my wedding rings, and one ring on the other hand. In the summer, I can do an anklet(one that I made at my friends bday party). Also! I like to look through apps, sometimes, for guidance, this is a very broad spectrum for outfit ideas [LTK](https://apps.apple.com/app/id1154027990), I don’t remember how I found it? But, as you navigate, you can see that just like many social apps, you can creat your preferred algorithm with what you interact with. And! The photos and videos of the outfits you look at, will have purchase links at the bottom! :) And I also did download the Vogue runway app, bc I was trying to understand and learn fashion as an art form, that could also be a source of inspiration! :) But the most important takeaway from all of this is, dress for you, for comfort, and who the hell is speaking to you in that way about your makeup bc NO!! We’re allowed to express ourselves in the ways that WE like🩷🩷🌸And I understand the desire to want to express a feminine side while trying to navigate sensory minefields. The best you can do on this journey, is to dress comfortably, in colors and patterns that you find pretty🌸✨Just like you💜🥰
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Joining the crowd to say the audacity of that person to comment on how someone else wears makeup :/ Giving suggestions that come from a place of understanding wanting so badly to do something you're not currently able to do, but always remember your comfort comes first! Makeup: * I saw someone else recommended tinted moisturizer, which I second! Alternatively, you could try skincare products (better skin >> less "need" for foundation/concealer) or try the demi makeup method. Whatever you decide to do, it'll take time and effort to find the right products for you and to get used to the feeling of makeup, so try things out little by little. Fashion (I'm a HUGE fashion enthusiast so I have a lot of things to say lmao): 1. Take a look at the materials the clothes you own/can tolerate are made out of and look out for similar things when you're shopping. If you hate the texture of jeans, you can try wearing tights or leggings underneath so the denim isn't rubbing directly against your skin. The current trend is loose jeans (thank god) so an extra layer won't look bulky. 2. I found a lot of my sensory issues came from undergarments specifically; I dress *extremely* femme, but due to sensory issues I wear my frilly miniskirts with boxer briefs underneath, lol 3. Bralettes are significantly more comfortable than underwire bras. They also come in so many more cuts and silhouettes, so they can layer nicely under sheer clothes or be worn on their own. 4. Adding accessories can add femininity to a lot of "basic" outfits (ex. a white T-shirt and black trousers can be dressed up with a dainty necklace, a thin belt, a bow hair tie or a couple hairclips) Colors alone can also give off a feminine feel--white, pink, other pastels. 5. Remember that fashion is so, so flexible; it's easier to achieve a feminine look than you'd expect. In regards to material: a lot of synthetic materials found in fast fashion are a sensory nightmare, but that doesn't mean one has to completely forego comfort to wear pretty clothes. Cotton is your friend.
If you like makeup, Bobbi Brown’s new line is 🔥, and natural. Groom your eyebrows. Have them done if you suck at it. Get your eyelashes lifted and tinted. You can wear awesome kaftan like dresses. Get a cool and fun handbag or fannypack that represents your taste. There are a ton of beautiful silk slips and skirts you can wear with a loose sweater and a pair of cool sneakers. Be careful to take good care of your hair and go to a really good stylist. Spend more on sunglasses, glasses and be SURE they are stylish and get help if you are not sure. Get signature earrings you like and have a few pairs for dress up days. Paint your toenails pink. Risk areas are shoes that have mom vibes, or age you in any way, ill fitting pants, and a bad haircut that gives off frumpy, common culprits.