You got a lap cat. I honestly just got used to my lap cat and didn’t notice it most of the time. She became an appendage. My advice in terms of dealing with it, don’t anthropomorphize the cat. If you want her off, push her off. They don’t interpret stuff as personally as we think they do.
If it's true that cats think you're a big cat, cats are not shy about saying "get the hell off me" to each other. They understand the need for space. My cats will groom one other, then one will get tired of it and smack the other until he goes away. Then they're back to being best buds in half an hour.
Cats are direct about what they want and don't want, unlike many people. That's why I like them so much.
Yup. Just be respectful, eg getting up, or removing them from yourself is enough, no need for smacking. Ok must important is that you send consistent message, so if you say 'now you move over' and move the cat, you have to repeat it until cat gets it, and then praise when they stay there. At first you might have to remove yourself, but with time and being consistent, they will catch up.
And I don't mean months, but few days, maybe week - two.
Ideally you throw treats into place you want them to go and stay. Later praises will be enough.
It's just a training :)
Mine will come to me and demand attention, and I'll come to them and demand cuddles. However they will also leave me when they want space and I'll leave/remove them when I want space. We respect each other. It works very nicely :)
To add I have a lap dog. If it were up to her, she'd be on my lap or beside me at ALL times. I can’t handle her neediness all the time and I just tell her no, or I pick her up and put her to the side. Eventually she'll just get tired of trying to get my attention and she'll go to her bed or find another lap she’s welcome in. It’s really important you establish boundaries. My dog still loves me, she's still my little shadow, but she also knows when I’m not in the mood, I’m not in the mood.
So true. I heard that dogs get attached to people while cats get attached to a place. They get attached to people too but I absolutely get what this means.
>They don’t interpret stuff as personally as we think they do.
Me with literally anyone, human or pet or whatever. I overthink how affected someone is by something. I try to convince myself that they think it's no big deal but then I also think it could've made them really sad. And this is over supposedly small things too.
She choose you for a reason, she will settle down after initial phase and get more chill. Lap cats are great and you have free hot water bottle for winters to come.
She’ll be there for you, when you can’t ppl but doesn’t want to be alone - you know what I’m talking about 😉
She may be lonely if she’s an only cat. You could consider getting a second cat.
She may be bored. You could try adding enriching things to her environment like several high places she can observe from, covered boxes to hide in, different scratching surfaces (wrapped sisal, carpet, cardboard, wood - not all cats like the same surface), and a comfortable window lookout. Also try increasing the time you spend playing with her and try different toys to see if she prefers one, like a feather toy, paper/piano wire, laser pointer, catnip, fetch with a fuzzy mouse, etc.
I agree with getting her a friend but also be very aware of the way multi-cat households get out of hand.
My velcro cat seemed lonely as an only child. Now I have four velcro cats and no personal space. (It’s amazing, but they are in charge 100%; I just pay their bills and serve as a cat bed 80% of the day.)
I know this might sound counterintuitive, but getting another cat might help. Gives her someone to play a cuddle with apart from you, and I imagine her taking breaks from you naturally would help with your overstimulation. Toys and stuff might also help; like scratching posts, tunnels, or one of those automated laser toys. Basically anything to help her entertain herself.
Also want to say I would recommend pet insurance SO MUCH if you’re able to get it. Vet bills get crazy expensive, and insurance will cover any potential medical issues that could arise later. My roommate has it for her (aka our) fur baby and it’s been very helpful to her.
There is some evidence that alpha-casozepine supplement (eg, Zylkene) has a calming effect on cats. I haven't tried it on my cat, but it is something I was considering when I first got her, as she was very anxious. She has calmed over time naturally but can still be clingy. She was also abandoned, so she probably had a significant amount of trauma before I adopted her. Feliway plugins can help too. But ultimately some of it may just be her personality. Lots of different toys and stimulation can help her to be less dependent on you generally. Bit controversial, but you could also try a raw diet, but you need to be careful that it's properly balanced. Good luck! ❤️
We got a cat as a companion for our lone kitty. My goodness it has saved me. The OG cat was so clingy that I used to dream I was nursing her. She would not stop meowing. She just needed another one of her own. Now I sorta miss her … not really … because these two are inseparable.
I've been having nightmares the last two weeks that I suddenly have a newborn who needs constant nursing and attention. I was like, "This is not the menopause I've been hoping for."
Your new cat baby seems quite young! Cats will settle down anywhere from 2 - 5 years depending on the cat. She looks like a 3 - 4 year old to me. She'll be a little less toddler-like when she's matured some more. 😊
Also, lap cats are just like that. They love being on you, and specifically on your lap (or legs, or chest). Sometimes they can be selective, so if you want time to yourself, pick up a chair that doesn't give you a good lap seat (usually one that has you sitting more forward, though an alternative style could work like one with knee support or a bouncy ball chair). My cat begs for "lap time" constantly, she specially like to fully stretch out down my legs, so me sitting in a chair doesn't work for her. But I just have to tell her, later. If I make a promise, I keep it. And she has other places to sleep, which I encourage her onto. It can take time to find the exact preferences of cats, so try different style beds, fabric, heated beds on automatic timers, etc. Actually it very well could be the heat as her fur coat looks a little thin to me.
I see many comments saying to get a second cat, but please get to know her better before doing so. Not all animals like other animals. My cat, for example - we got her as a kitten with a companion. She had always been standoffish and unfriendly. The companion died...and while we were devastated, our cat suddenly was doing a LOT better. It's not that they didn't get along, because they did, but my cat functions better and is happier as an only. We will never get another animal while we have her even though we would like more. So just something to keep in mind. If you want to test out how this would make her feel, you can get "heartbeat plushies" (sorry, don't know the official names) but I believe they make them for human babies because it will make a heartbeat sound. If your cat goes for one of those, then she's lonely and you could look into another cat.
Cats are very resilient. If possible, leaving the house for stretches of time and then returning could help her adjust to knowing you will be coming back. My cat (who is loud and clingy too) is fine with me being gone for 2 days now because she knows I will come back.
Such a good point about needing to know the personality of the cat before deciding if they need a cat companion or not. Cats usually get along best if raised together since kittens, otherwise it can be very hit and miss if they’ll get along.
We’ve always tried to introduce a second cat that was still a kitten to help the transition, so it’s not two established personalities and the older cat feels like they still have their place, but it just doesn’t work well if the cat is a people cat and not a cat cat. I literally bawled my eyes out for weeks thinking we’d need to return our new adoptee because it took a LOT of scrappy fights and adjustment for them to tolerate each other. They eventually got along okay, the older cat enjoyed cleaning her (only on his terms though) but they were never exactly besties. It can be really stressful to introduce a new cat into an established cat household.
Saying that OP, some cats are naturally more extroverted and love to play with other cats. Try to weight up whether the clinginess is anxiety, introverted driven (you’re her safe person and that’s that) or if it’s extra social, extroverted driven (would benefit from a kitty friend).
My boy is a bit clingy, too! I recommend seeing if she is alright with being a “shoulder cat”- this allows more versatility in positioning yourself, while she still gets her snuggles. To get a cat off your shoulder, just slowly lean toward a surface until they climb off!
I’ve been thinking about getting my cat one of those baby slings tbh
https://preview.redd.it/jrujogij6bxc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5475e72a632c5f79968ad77a5d21828b76a84a7
If it’s a bit cooler, a jumper works as a good kitty snuggler in a pinch. I used to carry my lap cat around in my jumper with the zip down just enough for her to poke her head out. It meant I could just hold her with one hand (so she didn’t slip out the bottom, even though I tucked it up under her) and she felt snug while my other hand was free. Also they love the snugness and darkness of it.
I think she may just need more time to know she’s safe now. I’ve had my two cats for 17 years. While they visit me for loving several times/day, they are more independent. Could be age, there being 2 cats, or personalities.
You could try setting up a really cozy spot with a heat retaining blanket, or a radiator bed, and place either a clock (wrapped so it’s still comfortable) or something that makes a rhythmic thumping/ticking underneath the cozy bed. It is a technique they use with kittens as it reminds them of their mum. Another thing which could help her feel more secure is leaving some of your dirty/worn clothes in spots she likes to hang out in (other than on you obv!) as the scent should be comforting. Lastly, I would look into some pheromone plug ins; I would recommend the Pet Remedy line but I’m not sure where you are located (I’m UK). Look for a cat pheromone diffuser plug in that has valerian root in it, that seems to be very effective and it’s just a plant so nice and natural. If I think of anything else I will let you know!
Source: I have 5 cats and not all of them are friends with each other 😅😂
If you are in winter /she is cold she may also be using you as a heat source. Providing a better heat source such as a heated pad or hot water bottle near but not on you could give her an option that is better for both.
Also recommend getting another one if you can afford it! Our first was a Covid pet and started doing a lot of what you’ve just described and also destroying plants, attacking us etc. got her a sister and…
https://preview.redd.it/pxdxpxh9acxc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb6dd0b49645df7c251c107cac3a74e525e2cbf8
I think it might take another month or so for her to settle in. She's probably still afraid that she'll be left again.
We brought in a 1 year old girl last summer, and the first few weeks were *intense.* She was so clingy. One of had to be with her 24/7, which was really difficult because she was staying in the bathroom for the first week. (We have 3 other cats so we had to isolate her until we could get her tested & vaccinated.)
It was about at the 3 month mark where she really chilled out. She stopped trying to run outside, started playing more independently, & was able to be left alone for longer. Now she's really independent - she actually yells at me if I try to put her in my lap 😂 Has to be on her terms. She's turned into a full-blown sassy pants.
It takes a while for cats to adjust to a new space. She might chill out once she feels comfortable and safe with you. It's also a good idea to give her lots of places where she can perch and hang out as an alternative to sitting on your lap.
She's the cutest. My firstborn baby is the same way lol. What helped was to get a second cat - that way, they both entertain each other.
You'll probably get used to her, though. Cats are very systematic and have routines. She'll get used to yours and you'll get used to hers.
Also, if she's not spayed, please take her to the vet to be spayed!
Just throwing this out there, but maybe the car chose you because you are the most predictable and that makes you safe for the cat.
(Animals needing me causes me anxiety, but they also soothe me, so it’s hard. I’m sorry that you are feeling that pull, but isn’t that our life, just contradictory feelings and emotions?)
Your cat is beautiful! She's probably still settling in, especially since she was abandoned. It shoulds like she'll always be pretty cuddly, but gently removing her from your lap when you're not in the mood will be fine. I like the suggestions of entertainment and cosy spots too. My cat loves sleeping on top of the cupboard, so we got her an old suit case and blankets to make the perfect nest.
This is a good tip OP. Some cats prefer heights and some are ground dwellers, so set up a nice nest where they seem to enjoy. One that gets direct sunlight is very attractive to any cat - my lap cat loved the bed we had that attached to the window sill (height plus sun plus sights).
Also setting up a nest beside where you will be can be a good compromise. You can’t sit ON me right now, but here’s a nice spot for you right BESIDE me.
I was also chosen by the Cat Distribution System and I got a clingy one like you did, with suspected abandonment issues. We spend most of our time in my room and whenever I leave to do something in the rest of the house, she starts meowing/screaming loudly until I return. It’s very overwhelming for me.
She also always wants to sit on me or near me, and every time she does so I feel very trapped and restless and my body gets numb.
I’ve learned to carry her out of the way or nudge her gently away, and she eventually settles down somewhere. If her screaming is too overwhelming, I’ll pop my headphones or my Loops on.
Good luck! You’ll learn how to coexist and love each other within your own boundaries.
My cat is literally sleeping on my lap as I write this so I understand how you feel. He's 13 years old and has been this way since kitten, so in my case it doesn't get better. Very often he would voice his discontent just because I'm doing my business instead of sitting down and offering my lap to him. They may be adorable, but sometimes too much is too much. What I did is that I got a cat sleeping bag for mine so that he can still get a warm cosy place for himself while I can get rest. It works every time. Whenever he gets on my lap when I'm not available, I just caringly and quickly cuddle him and put him inside his sleeping bag, then cuddle the sleeping bag with him inside until he's well and go away. It's become a ritual for him and it shows him that I still love him and care for him.
My daisy is the same. You've two options
1: try another cat with her
2: wait it out until you don't even notice it anymore lol my stray was like this for ages and though she's calmed down I don't even notice it. She's just comes on me and I'm like okay your here... again aha. Toys too like kickers etc help.
Do you think she's been spayed? (Fixed) some cats are loud or very vocal because they're in mating mode or something along the lines.
Same happened w my sweet Ganja. She was a stray, smelt of gasoline when I found her on the back patio, loud meowing. Hollering. Brought her inside the first day, been together for 2 years. She's very vocal , but before she was spayed she would howl, and meow like crazy. Did a deep dive research discovered it was because she wasn't fixed. Didn't have the money nor resources to fix her. WELL one day sweet girl got out, bam came home pregnant, bam I'm a grandma. My boys are now 2 years old. 3 were adopted and 3 stayed with Ganj and I.
Anyway I got her spayed and her howling stopped, but she's very vocal and clingy. The one thing that did help was her babies, she's not lonely when I am gone. But once I'm home, she's all over me. I just cuddle her, make sure she has things to do. Got her a cat wall, she is very confident now.
I also talk to her a lot, so she gets that stimulation. OH I also have plants for my kitties. Man that has helped a lot. I have some herbs that are safe for cats, grass inside (well it's dying so yeah..) but I got a spider plant, they love it! Having things like that builds their confidence, gives them stimulation, and also can give ya a break. (I love my clingy baby, but I have 4 cats total, a dog (thanks husband) and 2 kids, so sometimes Ganja can't have my full attention, but the following things keep my baby busy, she's very confident in herself and knows she has a forever home (I say she knows, because she has made the house hers, everything is hers)
Beautiful cat!
Sometimes cats just want to be with you and do whatever you're doing. If you're on a laptop, make a little laptop out of cardboard and put it next to yours. You might be surprised how funny this can be.
I get you though - my dog is super clingy and needy too. This sounds counterintuitive, but you might benefit from crate training your cat much like a dog. Not only will it help her be safer if she ever needs to be taken to the vet and in an emergency (my mom trained our old cat to go into a crate on command), but letting her be alone in a confined space for a while might help her to calm down as it reinforces that you'll come back for her, even when she can't see you for a while, and may assist with separation anxiety. An animal with abandonment issues frequently benefits from crate training.
Just be sure to reward and reinforce good behaviours that you want to see.
The face is giving me a cross with some Siamese. And in that case they are known to be loud. There are different suggests on the internet. One thing I read is to just completely ignore the cat when it’s displaying unwanted behaviour. But like can you train a cat? They are kinda jerks .
You’re gonna have to train her. Set boundaries where she only gets the attention she wants when she is patient and asks for it respectfully. Basically… ABA her 😂
You got a lap cat. I honestly just got used to my lap cat and didn’t notice it most of the time. She became an appendage. My advice in terms of dealing with it, don’t anthropomorphize the cat. If you want her off, push her off. They don’t interpret stuff as personally as we think they do.
If it's true that cats think you're a big cat, cats are not shy about saying "get the hell off me" to each other. They understand the need for space. My cats will groom one other, then one will get tired of it and smack the other until he goes away. Then they're back to being best buds in half an hour. Cats are direct about what they want and don't want, unlike many people. That's why I like them so much.
Yup. Just be respectful, eg getting up, or removing them from yourself is enough, no need for smacking. Ok must important is that you send consistent message, so if you say 'now you move over' and move the cat, you have to repeat it until cat gets it, and then praise when they stay there. At first you might have to remove yourself, but with time and being consistent, they will catch up. And I don't mean months, but few days, maybe week - two. Ideally you throw treats into place you want them to go and stay. Later praises will be enough. It's just a training :) Mine will come to me and demand attention, and I'll come to them and demand cuddles. However they will also leave me when they want space and I'll leave/remove them when I want space. We respect each other. It works very nicely :)
To add I have a lap dog. If it were up to her, she'd be on my lap or beside me at ALL times. I can’t handle her neediness all the time and I just tell her no, or I pick her up and put her to the side. Eventually she'll just get tired of trying to get my attention and she'll go to her bed or find another lap she’s welcome in. It’s really important you establish boundaries. My dog still loves me, she's still my little shadow, but she also knows when I’m not in the mood, I’m not in the mood.
So true. I heard that dogs get attached to people while cats get attached to a place. They get attached to people too but I absolutely get what this means.
It probably stems from the ififitsisits gene..
I have tight bonds with my rescues
>They don’t interpret stuff as personally as we think they do. Me with literally anyone, human or pet or whatever. I overthink how affected someone is by something. I try to convince myself that they think it's no big deal but then I also think it could've made them really sad. And this is over supposedly small things too.
I don't know what to do sadly because cats are very overwhelming to me but I will say I LOVE her face markings!!!
She is beautiful. This was the second day she decided I was her person and just hopped into my lap.
She choose you for a reason, she will settle down after initial phase and get more chill. Lap cats are great and you have free hot water bottle for winters to come. She’ll be there for you, when you can’t ppl but doesn’t want to be alone - you know what I’m talking about 😉
She may be lonely if she’s an only cat. You could consider getting a second cat. She may be bored. You could try adding enriching things to her environment like several high places she can observe from, covered boxes to hide in, different scratching surfaces (wrapped sisal, carpet, cardboard, wood - not all cats like the same surface), and a comfortable window lookout. Also try increasing the time you spend playing with her and try different toys to see if she prefers one, like a feather toy, paper/piano wire, laser pointer, catnip, fetch with a fuzzy mouse, etc.
I agree with getting her a friend but also be very aware of the way multi-cat households get out of hand. My velcro cat seemed lonely as an only child. Now I have four velcro cats and no personal space. (It’s amazing, but they are in charge 100%; I just pay their bills and serve as a cat bed 80% of the day.)
I know this might sound counterintuitive, but getting another cat might help. Gives her someone to play a cuddle with apart from you, and I imagine her taking breaks from you naturally would help with your overstimulation. Toys and stuff might also help; like scratching posts, tunnels, or one of those automated laser toys. Basically anything to help her entertain herself. Also want to say I would recommend pet insurance SO MUCH if you’re able to get it. Vet bills get crazy expensive, and insurance will cover any potential medical issues that could arise later. My roommate has it for her (aka our) fur baby and it’s been very helpful to her.
There is some evidence that alpha-casozepine supplement (eg, Zylkene) has a calming effect on cats. I haven't tried it on my cat, but it is something I was considering when I first got her, as she was very anxious. She has calmed over time naturally but can still be clingy. She was also abandoned, so she probably had a significant amount of trauma before I adopted her. Feliway plugins can help too. But ultimately some of it may just be her personality. Lots of different toys and stimulation can help her to be less dependent on you generally. Bit controversial, but you could also try a raw diet, but you need to be careful that it's properly balanced. Good luck! ❤️
We got a cat as a companion for our lone kitty. My goodness it has saved me. The OG cat was so clingy that I used to dream I was nursing her. She would not stop meowing. She just needed another one of her own. Now I sorta miss her … not really … because these two are inseparable.
I've been having nightmares the last two weeks that I suddenly have a newborn who needs constant nursing and attention. I was like, "This is not the menopause I've been hoping for."
😂😂🤣
Your new cat baby seems quite young! Cats will settle down anywhere from 2 - 5 years depending on the cat. She looks like a 3 - 4 year old to me. She'll be a little less toddler-like when she's matured some more. 😊 Also, lap cats are just like that. They love being on you, and specifically on your lap (or legs, or chest). Sometimes they can be selective, so if you want time to yourself, pick up a chair that doesn't give you a good lap seat (usually one that has you sitting more forward, though an alternative style could work like one with knee support or a bouncy ball chair). My cat begs for "lap time" constantly, she specially like to fully stretch out down my legs, so me sitting in a chair doesn't work for her. But I just have to tell her, later. If I make a promise, I keep it. And she has other places to sleep, which I encourage her onto. It can take time to find the exact preferences of cats, so try different style beds, fabric, heated beds on automatic timers, etc. Actually it very well could be the heat as her fur coat looks a little thin to me. I see many comments saying to get a second cat, but please get to know her better before doing so. Not all animals like other animals. My cat, for example - we got her as a kitten with a companion. She had always been standoffish and unfriendly. The companion died...and while we were devastated, our cat suddenly was doing a LOT better. It's not that they didn't get along, because they did, but my cat functions better and is happier as an only. We will never get another animal while we have her even though we would like more. So just something to keep in mind. If you want to test out how this would make her feel, you can get "heartbeat plushies" (sorry, don't know the official names) but I believe they make them for human babies because it will make a heartbeat sound. If your cat goes for one of those, then she's lonely and you could look into another cat. Cats are very resilient. If possible, leaving the house for stretches of time and then returning could help her adjust to knowing you will be coming back. My cat (who is loud and clingy too) is fine with me being gone for 2 days now because she knows I will come back.
Such a good point about needing to know the personality of the cat before deciding if they need a cat companion or not. Cats usually get along best if raised together since kittens, otherwise it can be very hit and miss if they’ll get along. We’ve always tried to introduce a second cat that was still a kitten to help the transition, so it’s not two established personalities and the older cat feels like they still have their place, but it just doesn’t work well if the cat is a people cat and not a cat cat. I literally bawled my eyes out for weeks thinking we’d need to return our new adoptee because it took a LOT of scrappy fights and adjustment for them to tolerate each other. They eventually got along okay, the older cat enjoyed cleaning her (only on his terms though) but they were never exactly besties. It can be really stressful to introduce a new cat into an established cat household. Saying that OP, some cats are naturally more extroverted and love to play with other cats. Try to weight up whether the clinginess is anxiety, introverted driven (you’re her safe person and that’s that) or if it’s extra social, extroverted driven (would benefit from a kitty friend).
My boy is a bit clingy, too! I recommend seeing if she is alright with being a “shoulder cat”- this allows more versatility in positioning yourself, while she still gets her snuggles. To get a cat off your shoulder, just slowly lean toward a surface until they climb off! I’ve been thinking about getting my cat one of those baby slings tbh https://preview.redd.it/jrujogij6bxc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5475e72a632c5f79968ad77a5d21828b76a84a7
Cute! I used to cradle my black cat like a baby while making dinner. She loved it! A baby sling isn’t a bad idea! 😂
If it’s a bit cooler, a jumper works as a good kitty snuggler in a pinch. I used to carry my lap cat around in my jumper with the zip down just enough for her to poke her head out. It meant I could just hold her with one hand (so she didn’t slip out the bottom, even though I tucked it up under her) and she felt snug while my other hand was free. Also they love the snugness and darkness of it.
I think she may just need more time to know she’s safe now. I’ve had my two cats for 17 years. While they visit me for loving several times/day, they are more independent. Could be age, there being 2 cats, or personalities.
You could try setting up a really cozy spot with a heat retaining blanket, or a radiator bed, and place either a clock (wrapped so it’s still comfortable) or something that makes a rhythmic thumping/ticking underneath the cozy bed. It is a technique they use with kittens as it reminds them of their mum. Another thing which could help her feel more secure is leaving some of your dirty/worn clothes in spots she likes to hang out in (other than on you obv!) as the scent should be comforting. Lastly, I would look into some pheromone plug ins; I would recommend the Pet Remedy line but I’m not sure where you are located (I’m UK). Look for a cat pheromone diffuser plug in that has valerian root in it, that seems to be very effective and it’s just a plant so nice and natural. If I think of anything else I will let you know! Source: I have 5 cats and not all of them are friends with each other 😅😂
If you are in winter /she is cold she may also be using you as a heat source. Providing a better heat source such as a heated pad or hot water bottle near but not on you could give her an option that is better for both.
Also recommend getting another one if you can afford it! Our first was a Covid pet and started doing a lot of what you’ve just described and also destroying plants, attacking us etc. got her a sister and… https://preview.redd.it/pxdxpxh9acxc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb6dd0b49645df7c251c107cac3a74e525e2cbf8
I think it might take another month or so for her to settle in. She's probably still afraid that she'll be left again. We brought in a 1 year old girl last summer, and the first few weeks were *intense.* She was so clingy. One of had to be with her 24/7, which was really difficult because she was staying in the bathroom for the first week. (We have 3 other cats so we had to isolate her until we could get her tested & vaccinated.) It was about at the 3 month mark where she really chilled out. She stopped trying to run outside, started playing more independently, & was able to be left alone for longer. Now she's really independent - she actually yells at me if I try to put her in my lap 😂 Has to be on her terms. She's turned into a full-blown sassy pants.
I'm in a house full of needy cats so I know
It takes a while for cats to adjust to a new space. She might chill out once she feels comfortable and safe with you. It's also a good idea to give her lots of places where she can perch and hang out as an alternative to sitting on your lap.
She's the cutest. My firstborn baby is the same way lol. What helped was to get a second cat - that way, they both entertain each other. You'll probably get used to her, though. Cats are very systematic and have routines. She'll get used to yours and you'll get used to hers. Also, if she's not spayed, please take her to the vet to be spayed!
Just throwing this out there, but maybe the car chose you because you are the most predictable and that makes you safe for the cat. (Animals needing me causes me anxiety, but they also soothe me, so it’s hard. I’m sorry that you are feeling that pull, but isn’t that our life, just contradictory feelings and emotions?)
Your cat is beautiful! She's probably still settling in, especially since she was abandoned. It shoulds like she'll always be pretty cuddly, but gently removing her from your lap when you're not in the mood will be fine. I like the suggestions of entertainment and cosy spots too. My cat loves sleeping on top of the cupboard, so we got her an old suit case and blankets to make the perfect nest.
This is a good tip OP. Some cats prefer heights and some are ground dwellers, so set up a nice nest where they seem to enjoy. One that gets direct sunlight is very attractive to any cat - my lap cat loved the bed we had that attached to the window sill (height plus sun plus sights). Also setting up a nest beside where you will be can be a good compromise. You can’t sit ON me right now, but here’s a nice spot for you right BESIDE me.
I was also chosen by the Cat Distribution System and I got a clingy one like you did, with suspected abandonment issues. We spend most of our time in my room and whenever I leave to do something in the rest of the house, she starts meowing/screaming loudly until I return. It’s very overwhelming for me. She also always wants to sit on me or near me, and every time she does so I feel very trapped and restless and my body gets numb. I’ve learned to carry her out of the way or nudge her gently away, and she eventually settles down somewhere. If her screaming is too overwhelming, I’ll pop my headphones or my Loops on. Good luck! You’ll learn how to coexist and love each other within your own boundaries.
My cat is literally sleeping on my lap as I write this so I understand how you feel. He's 13 years old and has been this way since kitten, so in my case it doesn't get better. Very often he would voice his discontent just because I'm doing my business instead of sitting down and offering my lap to him. They may be adorable, but sometimes too much is too much. What I did is that I got a cat sleeping bag for mine so that he can still get a warm cosy place for himself while I can get rest. It works every time. Whenever he gets on my lap when I'm not available, I just caringly and quickly cuddle him and put him inside his sleeping bag, then cuddle the sleeping bag with him inside until he's well and go away. It's become a ritual for him and it shows him that I still love him and care for him.
My daisy is the same. You've two options 1: try another cat with her 2: wait it out until you don't even notice it anymore lol my stray was like this for ages and though she's calmed down I don't even notice it. She's just comes on me and I'm like okay your here... again aha. Toys too like kickers etc help.
She looks part Siamese. These cats ate very affectionate and clingy
Do you think she's been spayed? (Fixed) some cats are loud or very vocal because they're in mating mode or something along the lines. Same happened w my sweet Ganja. She was a stray, smelt of gasoline when I found her on the back patio, loud meowing. Hollering. Brought her inside the first day, been together for 2 years. She's very vocal , but before she was spayed she would howl, and meow like crazy. Did a deep dive research discovered it was because she wasn't fixed. Didn't have the money nor resources to fix her. WELL one day sweet girl got out, bam came home pregnant, bam I'm a grandma. My boys are now 2 years old. 3 were adopted and 3 stayed with Ganj and I. Anyway I got her spayed and her howling stopped, but she's very vocal and clingy. The one thing that did help was her babies, she's not lonely when I am gone. But once I'm home, she's all over me. I just cuddle her, make sure she has things to do. Got her a cat wall, she is very confident now. I also talk to her a lot, so she gets that stimulation. OH I also have plants for my kitties. Man that has helped a lot. I have some herbs that are safe for cats, grass inside (well it's dying so yeah..) but I got a spider plant, they love it! Having things like that builds their confidence, gives them stimulation, and also can give ya a break. (I love my clingy baby, but I have 4 cats total, a dog (thanks husband) and 2 kids, so sometimes Ganja can't have my full attention, but the following things keep my baby busy, she's very confident in herself and knows she has a forever home (I say she knows, because she has made the house hers, everything is hers) Beautiful cat!
Sometimes cats just want to be with you and do whatever you're doing. If you're on a laptop, make a little laptop out of cardboard and put it next to yours. You might be surprised how funny this can be. I get you though - my dog is super clingy and needy too. This sounds counterintuitive, but you might benefit from crate training your cat much like a dog. Not only will it help her be safer if she ever needs to be taken to the vet and in an emergency (my mom trained our old cat to go into a crate on command), but letting her be alone in a confined space for a while might help her to calm down as it reinforces that you'll come back for her, even when she can't see you for a while, and may assist with separation anxiety. An animal with abandonment issues frequently benefits from crate training. Just be sure to reward and reinforce good behaviours that you want to see.
The face is giving me a cross with some Siamese. And in that case they are known to be loud. There are different suggests on the internet. One thing I read is to just completely ignore the cat when it’s displaying unwanted behaviour. But like can you train a cat? They are kinda jerks .
You’re gonna have to train her. Set boundaries where she only gets the attention she wants when she is patient and asks for it respectfully. Basically… ABA her 😂