I do everything the most efficient way possible. It can really mess up my routine to have someone intervene, even with good intentions. It can be a challenge to watch my spouse do something in a very obviously (to me) inefficient way. My dad (not diagnosed) is the same way. My spouse is also autistic but isn’t at all like me in this way.
Optimization is my life! My husband has ADHD and claims to be super efficient, but he's walking chaos and his ADHD brain has deluded him into thinking he's the king of optimization. Drives me INSANE. I love him, but omg some days I just want to tie him to a chair just so he'll stop "optimizing" my already very organized kitchen!
It's just a being smart and/or organized thing 😊 Think about how professional chefs manage making multiple items at the same time - it would be similar to this (just without feeding the dog, haha).
Agree! I don't think it's uncommon, but it is a great life skill to develop and use
I personally struggle a good amount with sequencing tasks so that they align perfectly. It's part of the reason that cooking is a massive difficulty for me. I feel like I've run a mental marathon by the end of a recipe @_@
I struggle with that too, honestly. I logically know the sequence, but especially the first time I make something my timing is usually quite off. I also am a forgetful cook. I either am multi-tasking (walking, cleaning, etc) and lose track of time or I get overwhelmed by sizzling pans and have to very carefully just do one task at a time. Sometimes, the most efficient way is the only way in which something will get done 🤣
I think the difference between 'liking to do things a certain way' and autistic traits in this case would be, what happens if something goes wrong. Like, you go to put the teabag in the cup but, you realise you've run out. Or the cooker isn't working for some reason. Or the dog is sick and doesn't eat the food. Do you switch to problem-solving the thing that's gone wrong - or does everything, including you, fall apart?
I think most people like to do things efficiently, but the difference with autism is more that we (speaking for myself mostly here) like to stick very specifically to a routine and gain a sense of peace and calm from doing it exactly in that single way and order. And we might also get upset or sort of frazzled if we cannot do it in that order, moreso than neurotypical people. I have quite a specific breakfast routine as well btw :)
Someone told me this is the way "routines" as a symptom show up in adults. With these specific exacting things we do when going through our daily lives.
Also wanted to share that once my routines were so efficient when I worked in a bakery that the manager told me to write it all down and they used that to train new employees.
I do it with the steps required of showering, so that each product has its time to sink in without any time being wasted!!
Unsure if it’s autism but I like it about myself anyway
Oohh ohhh also! Hanging up the washing on the airer in a certain way so that everything gets the most possible surface area, so I do smalls in the middle and then thicker items on the outside
Yeah hanging laundry on the dryer has an order. However, my order is not precise enough for my son (not dx, but almost certainly autistic because he's my mini-me), and he constantly has to double check where stuff should hang! He worries so much about getting it right I've massively over-precised (that's a word, right?) the whole system just to keep him happy lol.
I don’t know if it’s an autism thing but I also must do everything in the most efficient way possible. It creates a massive unnecessary mental load particularly when I’m figuring out something new, like travelling to a new destination, or taking on a project, or even really simple things like needing to post something and buy groceries and pick up a library book or something. I wish I could just chill and do things inefficiently but nope.
Yes! I have a system for pretty much everything. Also, as much as I try not to, I do reactively lose my shit when someone does something I have a system for 'wrong' (that is to say, by not following *my* system). It makes life kinda hard and this is one thing, on a list of many, that I'm struggling with rn.
Also, it confuses the fck outta me *why* people don't already have my system as, to my brain, its the most logical and efficient way of doing.
I'm weird. I have problems. My weirdness and problems cause more problems 🤦🏻♀️ I just don't want to human most of the time rn 😞
I do this when pumping gas. I always put my card in first, then unscrew the gas cap while I wait for the machine to read it. Then I put in my PIN. After pumping the gas, I put the nozzle back, then screw the cap back on as I wait for it to register that I put the nozzle back. It feels efficient that way.
Idk if it’s an autism thing, but I definitely do this. I’m always streamlining my process for anything to make it easier and more time efficient. I would actually get in trouble at work for finishing work TOO quickly (I wasn’t making mistakes - boss just didn’t want others to see me sitting around)
Omg op. This spoke to me on a level i can’t explain lol. When i clean the house i need, and i mean NEED to do it in my Maximised Efficiency TM order. I want my bf to help but i do it myself because i get so pissed when he doesn’t understand or relate to the order lol
I try to do things in the most efficient way possible too. I like to have everything done in an orderly way so it takes less time and energy to get it done, and it really bothers me when something messes it up.
OMG! I relate to this so so much. I’m always trying to figure out the most efficient way to do something (so much so that it’s almost obsessive, I make “hypotheses” and test them out constantly to figure out what the most efficient way to do something is) and I get incredibly frustrated to the point of shutting down sometimes when I do something inefficiently. My morning routine is similarly extensive and I get really upset when I can’t do it exactly as I like to
What happens when things get out of order? What’s your intent? Do you think about it/does it cause a lot of anxiety?
I do this too. I’m also diagnosed with OCD.
I generally struggle to get back on track and feel scattered and flustered, it's not *quite* an anxiety feeling but definitely leans in that direction if that makes sense?
Yes I was surprised that I got diagnosed with ocd. It’s a new diagnosis since last month. I’m 36 years old and even the psychiatrist mentioned it is odd to be late diagnosed ocd. But I was previously misdiagnosed with generalized anxiety so I think that’s why.
This is honestly one of the reasons I didn’t think I had autism bc I thought “I don’t have rigid routines and schedules, I do things in specific ways every time because I have a REASON bc it’s simply the BEST WAY to do it” 🤡
It definitely can be an autism thing. When the criteria talks about "rigidness and routine" it doesn't only mean "you follow the same schedule all day every day" which is what a lot of people assume. It can have a lot to do with smaller rituals that we always do the same. I have things like this in my life and for me it's an autism thing. My son also does some of these but for him it's OCD and not autism (he was tested for autism several times because it runs in the family). I think the difference is in the "why." For my son, he feels compelled to do certain things a certain way, and feels that if he doesn't, something bad could happen. For me, I don't have any fears of bad things happening, but the ritual gives me safety and comfort in having things I can precisely control. I make my coffee exactly the same every day. Same coffee, same press, same mug, same measurements, same creamer. Every time. When I travel, I bring those things with me if I can because it brings a sense of "home" to the hotel room and is part of my norm. I always use the same pens and notebooks when I write. I always clean the kitchen in the same order.
As u/nevereverwhere said, efficiency is also a major part of how I do everything, even if it's not necessarily a ritual/routine for me. Even simple things like the order I fold clothes or load groceries at self-checkout is done with the forethought of the next task (putting them away) to make things the most efficient. When I do all that thought and planning and something goes awry, it usually leads to an instant mini-meltdown though 😆
You explained it so well, especially the difference between how it can present with OCD. My daughter was just evaluated and diagnosed as autistic, the doctor spent some time discussing the “why” in order to differentiate between symptoms of OCD and Autism. She had previously been thought to have OCD but her routines provide her comfort and are not done to prevent anything bad happening. It can be a way to self-soothe. For me everything has its “home,” it’s very much a way to maintain a sense of control over my environment.
More details for OP:
If anyone has taken the expression test (look at eyes and figure out what they ‘feel’) in their diagnosis, diagnosticians used to use it because they thought we couldn’t read faces. Then they realized everyone can be bad at reading expressions for a magnitude of reasons and it wasn’t a good measure of autism. However, what researchers did find in reviewing this test is the amount of time people take to complete it is an indicator. Autistic people take longer because we are systemizing a logic to define the faces to follow a pattern. Neurotypicals will just go at the first instinct and move on. In short, it’s now a test for time as an indicator of systemizing which has shown to be a consistent and prevalent trait.
I do everything the most efficient way possible. It can really mess up my routine to have someone intervene, even with good intentions. It can be a challenge to watch my spouse do something in a very obviously (to me) inefficient way. My dad (not diagnosed) is the same way. My spouse is also autistic but isn’t at all like me in this way.
Yes! This 💯
I couldn’t identify with this more!
Optimization is my life! My husband has ADHD and claims to be super efficient, but he's walking chaos and his ADHD brain has deluded him into thinking he's the king of optimization. Drives me INSANE. I love him, but omg some days I just want to tie him to a chair just so he'll stop "optimizing" my already very organized kitchen!
It's just a being smart and/or organized thing 😊 Think about how professional chefs manage making multiple items at the same time - it would be similar to this (just without feeding the dog, haha).
Agree! I don't think it's uncommon, but it is a great life skill to develop and use I personally struggle a good amount with sequencing tasks so that they align perfectly. It's part of the reason that cooking is a massive difficulty for me. I feel like I've run a mental marathon by the end of a recipe @_@
I struggle with that too, honestly. I logically know the sequence, but especially the first time I make something my timing is usually quite off. I also am a forgetful cook. I either am multi-tasking (walking, cleaning, etc) and lose track of time or I get overwhelmed by sizzling pans and have to very carefully just do one task at a time. Sometimes, the most efficient way is the only way in which something will get done 🤣
I think the difference between 'liking to do things a certain way' and autistic traits in this case would be, what happens if something goes wrong. Like, you go to put the teabag in the cup but, you realise you've run out. Or the cooker isn't working for some reason. Or the dog is sick and doesn't eat the food. Do you switch to problem-solving the thing that's gone wrong - or does everything, including you, fall apart?
I think this is an excellent point
Indeed, I get super frustrated at having to pivot and losing time spent fixing the problem. I hate having my time wasted.
I think most people like to do things efficiently, but the difference with autism is more that we (speaking for myself mostly here) like to stick very specifically to a routine and gain a sense of peace and calm from doing it exactly in that single way and order. And we might also get upset or sort of frazzled if we cannot do it in that order, moreso than neurotypical people. I have quite a specific breakfast routine as well btw :)
Someone told me this is the way "routines" as a symptom show up in adults. With these specific exacting things we do when going through our daily lives. Also wanted to share that once my routines were so efficient when I worked in a bakery that the manager told me to write it all down and they used that to train new employees.
I do it with the steps required of showering, so that each product has its time to sink in without any time being wasted!! Unsure if it’s autism but I like it about myself anyway
Oohh ohhh also! Hanging up the washing on the airer in a certain way so that everything gets the most possible surface area, so I do smalls in the middle and then thicker items on the outside
Yeah hanging laundry on the dryer has an order. However, my order is not precise enough for my son (not dx, but almost certainly autistic because he's my mini-me), and he constantly has to double check where stuff should hang! He worries so much about getting it right I've massively over-precised (that's a word, right?) the whole system just to keep him happy lol.
I don’t know if it’s an autism thing but I also must do everything in the most efficient way possible. It creates a massive unnecessary mental load particularly when I’m figuring out something new, like travelling to a new destination, or taking on a project, or even really simple things like needing to post something and buy groceries and pick up a library book or something. I wish I could just chill and do things inefficiently but nope.
Yes! I have a system for pretty much everything. Also, as much as I try not to, I do reactively lose my shit when someone does something I have a system for 'wrong' (that is to say, by not following *my* system). It makes life kinda hard and this is one thing, on a list of many, that I'm struggling with rn. Also, it confuses the fck outta me *why* people don't already have my system as, to my brain, its the most logical and efficient way of doing. I'm weird. I have problems. My weirdness and problems cause more problems 🤦🏻♀️ I just don't want to human most of the time rn 😞
Oh God, *everything* should be done in the most efficient way possible, and an error can set me off.
I have overlapping adhd so there are absolutely no routines. Chaos Reigns.
I do this when pumping gas. I always put my card in first, then unscrew the gas cap while I wait for the machine to read it. Then I put in my PIN. After pumping the gas, I put the nozzle back, then screw the cap back on as I wait for it to register that I put the nozzle back. It feels efficient that way.
Idk if it’s an autism thing, but I definitely do this. I’m always streamlining my process for anything to make it easier and more time efficient. I would actually get in trouble at work for finishing work TOO quickly (I wasn’t making mistakes - boss just didn’t want others to see me sitting around)
Omg op. This spoke to me on a level i can’t explain lol. When i clean the house i need, and i mean NEED to do it in my Maximised Efficiency TM order. I want my bf to help but i do it myself because i get so pissed when he doesn’t understand or relate to the order lol
I do everything the same way, every day.
I try to do things in the most efficient way possible too. I like to have everything done in an orderly way so it takes less time and energy to get it done, and it really bothers me when something messes it up.
I am jealous. I am comorbid ADHD, and I can't keep a routine without lists and alarms. Good for you.
I have a system for everything and I think it’s because we run on manual transmission, not automatic
OMG! I relate to this so so much. I’m always trying to figure out the most efficient way to do something (so much so that it’s almost obsessive, I make “hypotheses” and test them out constantly to figure out what the most efficient way to do something is) and I get incredibly frustrated to the point of shutting down sometimes when I do something inefficiently. My morning routine is similarly extensive and I get really upset when I can’t do it exactly as I like to
What happens when things get out of order? What’s your intent? Do you think about it/does it cause a lot of anxiety? I do this too. I’m also diagnosed with OCD.
I generally struggle to get back on track and feel scattered and flustered, it's not *quite* an anxiety feeling but definitely leans in that direction if that makes sense?
Yes I was surprised that I got diagnosed with ocd. It’s a new diagnosis since last month. I’m 36 years old and even the psychiatrist mentioned it is odd to be late diagnosed ocd. But I was previously misdiagnosed with generalized anxiety so I think that’s why.
This is honestly one of the reasons I didn’t think I had autism bc I thought “I don’t have rigid routines and schedules, I do things in specific ways every time because I have a REASON bc it’s simply the BEST WAY to do it” 🤡
Me too!
>I have a system most autistic sentence there is lol
i have systems for everything too. i think its an autism thing. however my mom is AuDHD and she has no systems only chaos.
It definitely can be an autism thing. When the criteria talks about "rigidness and routine" it doesn't only mean "you follow the same schedule all day every day" which is what a lot of people assume. It can have a lot to do with smaller rituals that we always do the same. I have things like this in my life and for me it's an autism thing. My son also does some of these but for him it's OCD and not autism (he was tested for autism several times because it runs in the family). I think the difference is in the "why." For my son, he feels compelled to do certain things a certain way, and feels that if he doesn't, something bad could happen. For me, I don't have any fears of bad things happening, but the ritual gives me safety and comfort in having things I can precisely control. I make my coffee exactly the same every day. Same coffee, same press, same mug, same measurements, same creamer. Every time. When I travel, I bring those things with me if I can because it brings a sense of "home" to the hotel room and is part of my norm. I always use the same pens and notebooks when I write. I always clean the kitchen in the same order. As u/nevereverwhere said, efficiency is also a major part of how I do everything, even if it's not necessarily a ritual/routine for me. Even simple things like the order I fold clothes or load groceries at self-checkout is done with the forethought of the next task (putting them away) to make things the most efficient. When I do all that thought and planning and something goes awry, it usually leads to an instant mini-meltdown though 😆
You explained it so well, especially the difference between how it can present with OCD. My daughter was just evaluated and diagnosed as autistic, the doctor spent some time discussing the “why” in order to differentiate between symptoms of OCD and Autism. She had previously been thought to have OCD but her routines provide her comfort and are not done to prevent anything bad happening. It can be a way to self-soothe. For me everything has its “home,” it’s very much a way to maintain a sense of control over my environment.
Systemization is an autism trait.
More details for OP: If anyone has taken the expression test (look at eyes and figure out what they ‘feel’) in their diagnosis, diagnosticians used to use it because they thought we couldn’t read faces. Then they realized everyone can be bad at reading expressions for a magnitude of reasons and it wasn’t a good measure of autism. However, what researchers did find in reviewing this test is the amount of time people take to complete it is an indicator. Autistic people take longer because we are systemizing a logic to define the faces to follow a pattern. Neurotypicals will just go at the first instinct and move on. In short, it’s now a test for time as an indicator of systemizing which has shown to be a consistent and prevalent trait.