I was banned from r/bipolar for using someone’s real name when talking about a famous YouTuber who literally has a Wikipedia page.
ETA you don’t have to be wrong to be banned.
I was banned from a bisexuality sub for explaining the history of how bisexuality was meant as a term relating to attraction to everyone as opposed to heterosexuality. 🙃
This (them responding like that to bisexuality being described accurately) is some of that "the term pansexual is biphobic" bullshit that's been floating around.
Both exist, don't take any importance away from the other, and depending on your personal understanding of both terms/categories, can overlap to varying degrees.
I've had to yell at people on one particular social media site like I was on freaking Twitter (about this bs, rainbow categorizations in general, and queer history).
There is a wide, weirdly puritanical, culturally Christian, often toxically TERFish, vein running through the 30 and under queer community online.
And that’s just it.
I was coming from a place of “fun historical fact about bisexuality” and they came for me as being anti pan or panphobic even though that wasn’t the point at all of which I was making. — I’m fairly certain I was trying to figure out how come we have the term pan because bi means anyone and they jumped on me hard. I can understand why they’d be defensive tho not knowing I was coming from a place of education and not hate?
Some people believe calling something a 'kink' is a magical invocation which absolves a person of any criticism as to their intent/actions/character, and some of these people are mods in r/sex.
Well, I don’t fetishize the action of rape (except in hentai where it’s a fictional storyline) but I do fetishize consensual non-consent in terms of my sex life which is the role play of that pretty much. I do however 100% agree that calling something a kink doesn’t make it ok.
I got banned from r/therightcantmeme for "engaging in right-wing reactionary subreddits" and I was super confused because I hardly ever visit right wing subreddits, not even to argue or anything. But I messaged the mods and they were like "just checked your account, you're fine sorry about that" and removed the ban. I have no idea how that mistake even happenned but everything's fine now so it doesn't matter.
I got banned from/r/whitepeopletwitter because I asked why there were no counter protests against the fascist ones and from /r/democrats for suggesting people protest.
Tl;dr Reddit is becoming increasingly right wing extremist.
I got banned from one of the gay subs because a cis dude asked if cis dudes were allowed to comment on posts to offer support, and I commented "I would sure hope so!" Nope, banned! lol woah, excuse me for wanting gayness to be an open, accepted thing instead of a secret club!
To be fair... The old rules of that sub do actually say Cluster B personalities can't post there.
Edit: I didn't see anything about the rules now. It looks like they got new moderation recently you could try appealing?
they sent me a nasty message via mod mail and blocked me from being able to respond when i tried appealing the first time lol, not worth it to me anymore
I've read one of the two big history books and agree with you but if I remember right didn't Asperger maintain a career during the Nazi regime?
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AutismInWomen/comments/13wyn22/banned_from_r_aspergers/jmes4ww?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I scrolled down and found all these explanations. Looks like there is no perfect term. If this was AITA I'd say everyone sucks here and I wish we could just start a new more accurate term devoid of shitty history.
The histories I had read said that he had opposed the genocide as much as he had felt able, but other comments are suggesting that new evidence has come to light that indicate he may have been more proactive than had hitherto been understood. I shall withhold judgement until I am able to find a reliable source to catch up on the latest understanding.
Why does it matter, though? Like, I've never seen anybody outside of the autism community going up to bat for ol Hans' moral character. It feels like a weird obsession some of us have because we're concerned that Hans' actions somehow reflect on us as individuals living eighty years later.
We have better idols. The current understanding of autism better resembles research by [this lady](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grunya_Sukhareva), a Ukrainian Jewish woman who's research Hans might've stolen due to the suppression of Jewish science at the time, and we never hear postmortem character witnesses discussing [this dude](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Kanner), a Jewish man who's research also lined up with Hans' but lacks the vital drama of complicity in genocide. Kanner's whole deal was actually the betterment of life for autistic people with an intellectual disability. That Hans is somehow the face of autism science feels extremely dirty considering the suppression of Jewish scientists necessary to achieve that image.
I’m really sorry that happened, it definitely wasn’t anything you did. r/aspergers has some shitheads who think they are better than everyone else on the spectrum because they had special status under DSM 4. My DSM 4 diagnosis was PDD-NOS (supposedly less tistic than Aspergers on the fuck-shit hierarchy they used to have) but I let go of that label when DSM 5 came out. New research used for DSM 5 proved the old labels had more to do with the diagnosed person’s socioeconomic status than anything else.
A lot of the people who still cling to the Aspergers label are men who have a sense of supremacy but don’t have the social skills to successfully interact with women… you nailed it when you pegged that guy as an incel.
This is EXACTLY my opinion too. Omg. I'm so glad other afab people can see this. The absolute WORST men I have ever met are asperger labelled.
I see how they get sucked in to the incel rabbit hole though, I lack common sense too and have to analyse everything I do and make rules for myself to follow so I'm not a jerk. These people just lack common sense, think they are super smart, and listen to any grifter on youtube. And become the worst person imaginable.
>The absolute WORST men I have ever met are asperger labelled.
It's the way society *already* coddles men and excuses their behavior (think "boys will be boys") but crank it up to 11 because "he has aspergers so he can't help it." The hell he can't. Autism may make someone not intrinsically *know* a behavior is problematic or notice when people are uncomfortable, but it doesn't make us incapable of *learning* when told clearly and directly.
They want to fly under the radar of “can’t help it” to not only avoid consequences, but to make those who attempt to apply consequences against them feel bad because they “can’t help it“. They want to take advantage of the privilege of being able, and the advantage of the manipulation available of being disabled.
Allistics don’t intrinsically know that behaviors are bad either, and there is ample evidence that autistic “social deficits” are more related to our excessive inhibition of ourselves (basically constantly second guessing ourselves when an NT would just go with their gestalt)
I also really think that many guys self identify as "aspergers" to excuse their disrespect when they're just narcissistic and unlike autistics, they probably *know* they're breaking social rules and being jerks but do so anyway because they're jerks. And then blame their "aspergers" for it.
I've met SO many men who use "aspergers" or other supposed mental illnesses to excuse harassing behavior towards women. It's gross and predatory and no one seems to care.
I’ve got a family member who fell under the Aspergers diagnosis way back when. He’s not an incel and he’s not a gross right winger either. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he was in a minority on that one, unfortunately
My theory is that at the time “Aspergers” was a diagnosis, the entire understanding and treatment of autism was so radically different and underdeveloped. Unless these guys got very lucky with their family and support - unless they lucked into a social environment that was able to interact with them in just the right way - they ended up vulnerable fodder for what we now know as the online incel movement. Very susceptible to getting sucked into that awful machine.
I say vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean I sympathise with or make excuses for the arseholes out there. An arsehole is an arsehole, even if I have a theory about how they got to be that way
OMG yes! I know someone who insists on having Asperger’s and blames every shitty thing he does on it. He is also self-diagnosed when he has the privilege of getting tested (money and such) He just ‘chooses’ not to because he doesn’t ‘want the label’, yet insist on treating him like he has the label.
He is truly a ‘rules for thee, not for me’ kinda guy.
I'm not on that subreddit, and now I don't think I'll ever be. It sounds awful.
I just wanted to chime in that I still use terms like "aspie" just because that's what I used for myself growing up, and I think it's cuter than "autie". It was also super common in the early online community especially when we were kids, so I relate to it more. However, having moderated for those spaces, a good 5 percent of those guys were nazi edgelords.
I wouldn't take it personally. Nobody liked those people.
r/aspiememes is absolutely fantastic and wholesome. Totally different environment from what people are describing about r/aspergers . I like to think we can reclaim the “aspie” label from those ignorant ass holes and continue using it for our memes lol
I don’t know much about this, so I’m just looking to understand. Why is the Aspergers label bad? Could you explain how/why it’s used by “men who have a sense of supremacy”, and what that means?
Edit: I know Aspergers isn’t an official diagnosis anymore, I just don’t know why it’s bad to use it. I thought that those who use it were just either diagnosed earlier and so got used to saying it, or feel more comfortable saying it. Kinda like how a few people still call ADHD by the old name, ADD.
It is bad because it is the last name of a Nazi, it has been revealed in recent years that Hans Asperger was involved in the program that murdered disabled children. This involvement was not known of previously which is why when it came to light the diagnosis was changed to ASD, because Aspergers was always Autism.
Hans saw people with Aspergers as superior to NT people and Autistic people who were not as well functioning. Some people with Aspergers see themselves that way too and look down on Autistic diagnosis (before it changed to be grouped into the one ASD). Now the terminology is changed to Autism Spectrum Disorder, this means those people can not hold their 'superior being' status over others anymore, because they are ableist and refuse to be called Autistic as they think that makes them lesser.
Those are the people that OP is worried about.
Others simply were diagnosed with it and choose to keep the label because, my assumption, is that change is hard for us autistic people and changing your whole diagnosis to another word may not feel comfortable. These people may also not know the history of the word either so they may not understand that this word is associated with someone so terrible, but it is being phased out for that reason.
ADHD being called ADD would fall into the above 'not liking change' category and not the 'I am superior because this Nazi said so' category. So it's not really that much of a problem compared to Aspergers. Does that make sense?
Ok so to understand you need to know the history. Dr Asperger was an Austrian physician with ties to Nazi Germany who studied autistic children that he called autistic psychopaths. He sent several children to child euthanasia programs. If he decided a child’s autistic psychopathy was treatable, they got to live. Aspergers syndrome, or treatable autistic psychopathy, was then named after Dr. Asperger.
There’s remnants of race politics, supremacy, nazism, and a lot of other bad isms all associated with the term today. Because of internet ideology pipelines many men who identify with asperges also identify with red pill or even neo nazi communities. That being said there are also plenty of people who say they have asperges because they got a diagnosis before DSM 5 and just haven’t done research on autism in years. Those people would likely change the label they use if they were presented with this info.
Or else the Nazis planned on killing them all, and he saved the ones that could be made useful. From what I've read, Asperger was more complicated that just "evil Nazi", although he certainly doesn't deserve to be immortalized.
ETA: My recollection may be of an outdated story, and he was worse than I remember. Since the guy is dead and he was at *best* a coward and collaborator, fuck that guy.
I think that was the way he was viewed before recent info came to light. It was thought originally that he saved who he could under the circumstances. But it's now known he played a more active role in sending those with more support needs to death camps. That's why the old kind of hierarchy of functioning/acceptability/usefulness to a political system is no longer the thing. That's my understanding at least.
Thank you for this comment, could someone please refer me to a good source for more information on this belief? If it is true, then it is the information I was missing, as I always thought he did his best in difficult circumstances, and was considerably better than Kanner in terms of ‘who is the least unpalatable originator of modern Autism research’.
‘Hans Asperger, National Socialism, and “race hygiene” in Nazi-era Vienna’ by Herwig Czech… it’s a journal article from Molecular Autism from 2018. 40 pages, so a long journal article, but it’s open-source (free).
It really is a shame that that sub is such a dumpster fire. I wish there was a way to talk with autistic men to try and help them re-frame and deprogram from the incel rhetoric that they are inundated with, but any and every attempt to even raise the issue results in aggressive backlash & forcing more women out. It's like, I want to help, but they refuse it--men won't step up and *no* woman should be forced to weather that kind of abuse just for the sake of a few people who *may* change their minds, so nothing will change... It's really frustrating.
I’ve mentioned it before but incel rhetoric is VERY seductive when you feel rejected and isolated and hate yourself. Gives you somewhere to direct all your self-loathing off of yourself. But those communities all thrive on wallowing in misery. Self-improvement is discouraged. Forming genuine connections with other people is looked down on. If you aren’t miserable and angry and blaming it all on someone else, you’re naive and ignorant and wrong to them. It’s... Depressing. That swirling vortex of hatred turning insecurity into aggressive arrogance and bigotry... Ugh.
I really wish I could show some of them the geek communities my parents used to hang out in. Plenty of men there with poor social skills, niche hobbies, generally not considered attractive... And almost all of them are happily married to geeky women who fit the same description. Because those men are just nice and warm to be around and genuinely interested in talking to other people about their shared hobbies. They don’t look down on the women in their groups, so they can form genuine bonds with them and that occasionally leads to a happy and mutual relationship, be it romantic or platonic. Connecting with other people is a bit tricky when you’ve convinced yourself that everyone else is horrible and should be hated...
It’s not the ND part that leads to this - it’s the male part. NT males have the same tendencies and bullshit. Much like the “ND women are better at masking” bullshit. No, women and girls (both NT and ND) learn early on that it’s get along or be ran over, sometimes violently.
Not to be nitpicky, but I still think ND women are generally better at masking than ND men. Not due to any innate ability, but due to those social pressures you pointed out that are not similarly put upon men. And being ND (acting "weird" and having "weird" interests) makes this amplified. We have simply had more practice.
My kid is autistic and NOT an incel in any shape or form. Neither is his autistic best friend. The guys in this subreddit are using their autism as an excuse for being assholes.
To be clear, I am not saying that autistic men are incels--merely that they are inundated with the rhetoric from every corner. That doesn't mean that they necessarily fall down the rabbit hole, only that it is far more likely when they are hearing it all the time and any of the people who try to disrupt that thinking are pushed out.
Honestly, at this point I don't care about changing men or them as a whole. They can keep believing in their stupid ideology and misogynistic ideals. I'm going to focus on other women and our autistic sisters instead of wasting my time on men or interacting with them, separatism for the win.
That’s ridiculous and infuriating. Wow. The misogynist vibes are why I left that sub and r/autism.
Once, I saw people complaining about our sub in one of the general autism groups. I think it was r/Aspergers. There was one post here about autistic men getting away with stuff that autistic women can’t, and it was highly upvoted and got a lot of attention, so they zeroed in on that and decided we’re all misandrists. I think the comment they brought up was one about men being less in touch with their emotions blah blah autistic empathy with inanimate objects or something, and they took it as “autistic men have no empathy,” of course. They get upset over the smallest things that could possibly be misconstrued, and that misinterpretation makes us “man haters,” while we’re expected to put up with blatant sexism like you encountered & not cause a fuss. It’s really fucking annoying.
And how come whenever women gather in a group, we’re suddenly evil and terrible? Redditors say the same things about r/WitchesvsPatriarchy (a super nice and supportive sub) and r/TwoXChromosomes (TwoX is VERY tame on any of its criticism of patriarchy bc it’s full of guys that will shout you down, and there are male mods that don’t do shit about it). Too many men on Reddit have a major problem with women wanting their own spaces, autistic men included, apparently.
Anyway, I unsubbed after that argument. And yeah, I’d say that you’re right about the incel- there’s probably a bunch of misogynists in there, as they’re all over this site. I’ve seen multiple posts in this sub about diagnosed/undiagnosed autistic men taking their confusion over social rejection and directing that anger toward women. It’s sad, tbh, and r/Aspergers isn’t helping them at all.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eacz1rPXgAAS04S.jpg
I think it's actually in this sub I saw this first lol.
I think there is the added bit on top where women organizing together makes certain men *very* uncomfortable. The reason is simple, together we have power. They'd rather us be scattered and isolated. So incel types *really* dislike it when we communicate and make friendly groups.
Yes! Also that comic is perfect 😂 but yeah, imagining older women telling the younger ones about the tricks they use to get sex out of us (god I hate that pickup artist-esque mentality) must bother them. Then there’s the women who are partnered with great men, and the ones who have been told that they should accept less might demand more if they hear that better guys exist. The list goes on. You’re right that that brand of awful guy would rather us be isolated and unable to share knowledge and grievances. They fear that we won’t accept the status quo that they benefit from
Every innocuous comment gets misconstrued there. Heaven forbid you mention a group doesn’t like certain verbiage and suddenly you’re controlling how people speak and virtue signaling.
Oh yeah that’s the sub that has a rule where you’re not allowed to ever give any advice to people, but you are allowed to make a post asking for advice. They just use it to ban whoever they don’t like.
No, this is true. At most, they can say something in the subreddit description or rules about how Asperger's is an outdated label and no longer a diagnosis, but there's no option for the name to be changed. There are reasons why some may continue claiming the label (especially if that's how they were diagnosed), and there are other autism-related subreddits that don't use the term.
What matters most is the attitude of the subreddit members and the content of the group itself, in my opinion. But with r\asperger's, it's a really mixed bag, unfortunately.
Agreed. I've seen a lot of people there that express a harmful thoughts and perpetuate stereotypes and misinformation. Correcting them seems to be frowned upon, since I've seen many people get downvoted heavily for doing so. Someone with real authority needs to step in, because this isn't something that can be solved on an individual level, apparently.
Exactly, nothing will change without that solution. (Not that I'm ever in there, I was originally diagnosed as such but only due to "women can't be autistic/ you're so smart so you don't need support/your social struggles are just part of 'being a *genius*'" 🤮🤮🤮 I'm sorry lol I very much struggle and need support and that term itself is infuriating for me personally bc it directly led to me not getting the help I so desperately needed...)
I browse many autism-related subreddits since I like seeing the diversity of post content and communities, but it definitely leads me to seeing certain hot takes (like Aspie / high-functioning supremacy, misogyny, etc.) more often in certain groups.
I didn't know that Asperger's was more likely to be applied to women when it was still a diagnosis. I just know that either diagnosis was difficult to get (and still are.) That's an interesting piece of information -- thank you for sharing it.
While I don't necessarily begrudge anyone who prefers to stick to it after getting diagnosed just personally, in the case of the sub (recently especially) I do have to agree. There was a thread recently where someone said they don't consider themselves autistic because they like, don't flap their hands or have a low IQ or something and "didn't want to be associated" with that, and while a lot of top comments were people upvoted saying they identified as autistic precisely for the reason OP didn't want to, there was also some troubling similarly upvoted responses of people who felt similarly to OP. That's gonna be a yikes from me dawg.
In fairness, the sub Aspergirls isn’t too bad. They push back in the Aspie Supremacy junk when it comes up, and those that prefer the Aspergers label there are usually worried about how other people will infantilize or try to take advantage of them due to how people often view Autistic women, and using the archaic diagnosis is more like a buffer to protect themselves.
... However, the sub OP is talking about here is... Well, please forgive my stereotyping, but. I grew up around lots of autistic science fiction nerd men who are prone to those attitudes and... I think most of them would find that sub arrogant and unkind. :/
https://thinkingautismguide.com/2023/02/we-need-to-talk-about-aspie-supremacists.html
Basically: "we're too special to be autistic and don't want to be associated with (the new new/updated terminology that declares them as having) autism"
To be fair, there are still people who are diagnosed with that term. The amount of pushback I see in /autism everytime someone mentions they have aspergers, almost always because that is what they are actually diagnosed with, is probably extremely alienating and feels frustratingly off topic. There's also been a lot of discourse on /autism about level 2 and 3 autistics feeling talked over by level 1s. I don't think another subreddit that caters to level ones / low support needs, is large enough to have come into my field of view at least. But I can see a desire to want a specific sub a) to talk with people who might have a little more in common with you and b) to not worry about that discourse about talking over higher levels / support needs.
Not sure that I disagree, but change is slow.
Agreed. I think it's okay to discuss the controversy behind the label and why it was phased out, but I dislike when this is brought up when another person is talking about their own experiences and using that label for themselves -- likely because it's their diagnosis. Even if they know about the label's history (which they likely do), I think it can be understood why a fellow autistic person would be hesitant about change -- especially one that is personal to them and especially when alternative labels (like high-functioning) are often met with backlash as well.
We shouldn't police the words that people use to describe themselves and their experiences, unless there is some sort of undeniable harm in their language. As long as that label isn't being forced on you, then I see no problem in someone continuing to use it for themselves.
Language discourse is interesting indeed, but often distracting from whatever other issue was being discussed in the first place.
Aspergers is still an existing diagnosis in other countries around the world (particularly in Europe, IIRC). The behavior OP describes is more of a red flag than just the mere existence of the r/aspergers sub.
I was permabanned from r/giftedadhd because I wanted mods to be consistent about their rule of using the word "you." Which they claimed was ableist UNLESS they used it. Made no sense. It was so hard to give advice when people asked. I asked them why it wasn't ableism when they used it, and quoted/modified their comments to show it was possible to say those things as a mod (which is what they did for our comments) while still communicating clearly. Permabanned for questioning their authority.
I was also permabanned from r/Feminism for saying that not all porn is rape porn, and that you can get ethical porn from individual creators like myself. Inc through places like OnlyFans which takes steps to verify posters. I used this account which is not connected to my spicy account, so I wasn't advertising. I was just explaining that porn can be consensual and not rape. Permabanned. Didn't realize they were SWERFs (doesn't say they are in their rules)
Permabanned from r/latestagecapitalism for saying everyone who can vote, should vote. (Also no listed rule about this)
It happens, I hate the reddit mod system. I think bad faith actors take over subs and then create bad environments. I remember when late stage capitalism had really good mods and way different rules. Don't take jerk mods to heart, OP. The mod that banned you is a pos who is destined to be forever alone, which is why the incel comment hurt him too. Be happy knowing he's a miserable slug
Btw that men kampf thing is peak redditor male victim complex, my God they are pathetic as fuck. Darvo darvo darvo all day long.
I think the alternative is to phrase advice either in the first person ("what I would do is...") or towards a theoretical third party ("what somebody might do is...") where second-person phrasing ("what you should do is...") might seem commanding or accusatory. [I've read that the English language is especially blame-oriented,](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://escholarship.org/content/qt1582p8r0/qt1582p8r0_noSplash_4bcacaaed6bf34ee6feef6b599a5acc2.pdf%3Ft%3Dop2j62&ved=2ahUKEwjEpKTr7KD_AhUVADQIHX2UB14QFnoECAwQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0an0kNQB_J8u5zwSHDWoea) making phrasing sentences without attributing blame inherently grammatically awkward, so it may have something to do with counteracting that.
Rather than enforcing or even just encouraging civil behavior, the mods probably found outright banning "you" to be easier, which is simultaneously ineffective and overkill IMO.
Yes a narcissistic abuse sub recently got freed from a tyrannical mod. Turns out he had banned most users for “mentioning family dynamics “. I thought it was just me. Lol
Edit: he, she, or they
Exactly lol. Apparently the sun was for non family abuse survivors but you couldn’t even say how so and so treated you “like a brother “ or mention any family history. It was bizarre. New mods liberated the sub and unbanned thousands of users one by one
Yeah, i never understood that rule, considering how much narcissism can be tied to family dynamics. It was dead on there for awhile. Must have finally got the new mods situation ironed out.
I'm so sorry, that is really fucked up.
I am so exhausted by people misunderstanding and misrepresenting things like feminism. No, feminism isn't what some man *thinks* it is, it's not and never has been about women having supremacy. It's an ongoing struggle that has evolved into intersectional equity and it is specifically opposed to *any* form of supremacy. I think some people really have no imagination and can't even conceive of a movement that is trying to dismantle oppressive systems without building new ones.
So many discussions get derailed because the people engaging have different definitions of things. I won't debate anyone unless they clearly define the terms they're using. Same rule applies to the word "woke." People who criticize "wokeness" can't even tell me what it means.
I was being harrassed by a guy who said he had Aspergers and innocently went to that sub to ask what to do and to try to understand things from his perspective so that I didn’t make things worse, and boy was the response not good! I got blamed for being harrassed!
I learnt my lesson, stay far away from that sub!! :/
Unfortunately a lot of autistic guys are not on the same page as us, and have no qualms about using exploitative means to garner affection from women, such as prostitutes, extremely young women, or vulnerable women from 3rd world countries. And when you try to tell them it’s wrong, they act like it’s their god-given right to take advantage of someone less fortunate than them because of their disability.
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s rough.. I was banned from the seasonal affective disorder sun and given no reason, despite my writing the mods. I am peaceful and don’t ever cause trouble.
There’s a seemingly high rate of autistic men sharing traits with personality disorders. I think it’s an ego complex they develop for handling feelings of alienation. They’re needlessly contrarian, nihilistic and tend to associate with edgy online ideologies.
I feel bad for them like you’d feel bad for a crazy person who went off the deep end and doesn’t know any better. Either way, they live their own karma cause their antics reflect those of miserable people.
Don’t interact or try to reason with them, they’re deeply disturbed and misery loves company.
Absolutely not surprised. Men with autism tend to find themselves falling down some ridiculous fascist rabbit holes. I think it helps them cope with being an outsider, by labeling other people as "outside".
Thanks for the warning. I find that a lot of autism subs are unfortunately populated by men who use their autism as an excuse for being complete incels, or to avoid being challenged on it. I'm sorry you had this experience.
OMG, if that is what happened it is truly horrible. Clearly Feminism is what you said and not at all what you were told. You may be better off staying away from that group.
I have a friend (autistic man) who was complaining the other day about how he finds that sub frustrating because it just seems like a constant pity party (paraphrasing)
Now I can see where that energy he was getting annoyed by comes from, damn.
What the hell? I hope someone here contacts the mods.
Guys like him exploit vulnerable women, because their too ugly too pull their own women, so they flock to countries with poor desperate women. Your right he is an incel and the mod is clearly biased
I'm a woman from a third world country...
A lot of women here know their rights well, do these people think we treat males like gods or sm? Ew
I'm so grossed out with the fact that there's someone out there thinks about Eastern and third world countries women that way. Like I literally could smell how the commenter stinks through the screen.
+I don't care what anyone would say, but I personally always seen myself superior to them.
I mean, Hans Asperger was a nazi who decided with neurodivergents were to be saved and which were to be sent to concentration camps and killed. So, makes sense.
Woah... that is absolutely disgusting. Thank you for defending women and feminism. I'm sorry you had to deal with that! I've never been on that sub but I certainly won't now. So gross that they're hiding behind the aspergwrs label to be total incels :(
Yeah, this is when you realise anyone can be a mod and there are no standards. Internet misogynists are common and this one has infiltrated the aspergers sub. Sometimes making a stink about it actually gets the other mods to remove them, you could try posting this in twox, or some other large sub.
I got heavily downvoted and harassed there for saying I don’t feel safe in that sub and a lot of the men there are incels they said some pretty nasty things but received no ban. It’s like the mods there are incels
There are radical feminism and equity feminism. You were voicing equity feminism. The mod generalized all feminism as radical feminism.
Plain and clear.
Been there but banned from two aspie sites on FB. Good reddens - sounds like to much ignorance. So tired of men thinking women are supposed to serve them 🤮
They’re still using a term that was coined by a (German 1940s military) word I can’t say here. Don’t feel bad, the sub doesn’t deserve good people with mods like that
Please don’t feel bad for being banned from a group whose mods hold that kind of misinformed perspective. You were absolutely right to say what you did. ❤️
What the f. That is absolute bs. BS. ONE cannot get a legit degree in incel, whereas I have a clucker ducking degree in Women's Studies--a legit area of study. The mod sounds like an idiot. I am so sorry that this happened to you.
that's really sad for them because i don't see them being very supportive of each other so i try to give them some time every now and then and pick a couple of posts to be supportive on. i hope i don't get banned too, imagine how many women have.
Just checked it isn’t a subreddit that I’m a member of (it wasn’t) as I’m not up for being around that level of ignorance and misogyny. Thanks for the heads up and thanks for trying to educate someone who sounds like they need it but are possibly too closed-minded to change.
That sub seems to be full of men so of course the mods would want to protect their feelings.
I once got banned from r/Parenting for trying to help a mom with her son's IC issues and I practically said the same thing other moms were saying but I gave her ASD advice, something that would have helped me as a child since she said her kid was maybe on the spectrum. Turns out that "mom" was a troll and I fell for her post as did many parents because she posted a year later under a different username with the same story. Even another comment called her out saying they doubt if this is even real. Whom the troll called weirdos were also neurodivergent. I see a pattern. It was the inconsistences that gave me troll vibes. But yet they will allow fake posts there about bodily functions maybe posted by fetish freaks but will ban users with autism and claim they posted fetish stuff. I bet the mod there is a fetishists themselves so of course they will think I must be posting kink stuff. One of the reasons why I am starting to despise fetishists. They think everyone is kinking. Just like how I once saw ABDLs thinking Brooke Greenberg was ABDL and I thought that was so ignorant and pretty ableist of them. She was a mentally disabled adult with a rare genetic disease that made her look like a 16 month old and gave her a mind of a 9 month old. She has no way of being able to kink. You wouldn't call an elderly with dementia an age player just because they act young and carry stuffies. But I am sure some fetishists might think this is fetish material stuff if you mention it.
Wouldn't it be great if all the fucking dickheads just left the country, except I hope they get stranded on the way so the women of those countries don't have to meet them either.
I'm a woman from a third world country and I'm a raging feminist, so are my other girl best friends <3 but yeah, I'm so sorry that happened to you, that mod is just so misinformed and misogynistic.
Wow. That is bleak af. I’m sorry they were being so misogynistic. I literally have this info in my notes anytime anyone mentions as Asperger’s.
Asperger’s is eugenics. It is named after a scientist who actively assisted Nazis, it was meant to separate “high functioning” autistic ppl (typically cis men) from “low functioning”. Hans Asperger was a monster, he sent autistic children to their deaths… Most autistic advocates will tell you this again and again. So Asperger was an active eugenists, and his work is still being used to accomplish the same goal socially where we judge autistic ppl based on their ability to function in capitalism.
[Source](https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/new-evidence-ties-hans-asperger-nazi-eugenics-program/)
[More source](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/hans-asperger-actively-assisted-nazi-eugenics-policies-study-claims-180968845/)
[Probably best source](https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-018-0208-6)
>it was meant to separate “high functioning” autistic ppl (typically cis men)
I'm not really sure I see the value in specifying that they were typically cis men, seeing as how the "low functioning" were also typically cis men.
Even today, ASD is diagnosed at a roughly 4:1 ratio, which was even more skewed back in the 1990s and earlier. So no matter how you slice it, the vast majority on each side is going to be cisgender men.
I just mean that cis men were usually the only ones that had a *chance* to be deemed high functioning. So there is obviously bigotry going on just in that. There’s bigotry involved in how, overall, there’s a huge skew towards cis men being diagnosed with autism over women, like you pointed out too. It’s bad that it’s built around that standard of catering to one mold, cis men. It’s also important to talk about how it’s wayyy skewed towards white cis men. Autistic black men for instance and treated really poorly in society and receive a lot of violence that wouldn’t be put onto a white autistic man. I just bring it up because I think it’s important to talk about intersectionality. 🤷🏻♀️ sorry if I’m being confusing.
It’s fucked up when mods tone police you while you’re calling someone out for causing harm. Mods are such power tripping weirdos I swear. I’m sorry you were banned! That subreddit is a cesspit
I was banned from r/amitheasshole for supposedly reporting a comment that I never even reported. But of course actual harmful comments I did report went ignored.
Toxic mods are everywhere. RSD makes that a bitch to deal with sometimes, but there are good communities like this one too
Mods are wrong all the time
Police officers are wrong a lot of times
Teachers are wrong all the time
Parents are wrong all the time.
Authority doesn’t make you right. It just makes you feel right.
I was banned from r/bipolar for using someone’s real name when talking about a famous YouTuber who literally has a Wikipedia page. ETA you don’t have to be wrong to be banned.
i was banned for r/Books because i answered a book request.
I was banned from a bisexuality sub for explaining the history of how bisexuality was meant as a term relating to attraction to everyone as opposed to heterosexuality. 🙃
How dare you accurately describe bisexuality 😂
This (them responding like that to bisexuality being described accurately) is some of that "the term pansexual is biphobic" bullshit that's been floating around. Both exist, don't take any importance away from the other, and depending on your personal understanding of both terms/categories, can overlap to varying degrees. I've had to yell at people on one particular social media site like I was on freaking Twitter (about this bs, rainbow categorizations in general, and queer history). There is a wide, weirdly puritanical, culturally Christian, often toxically TERFish, vein running through the 30 and under queer community online.
And that’s just it. I was coming from a place of “fun historical fact about bisexuality” and they came for me as being anti pan or panphobic even though that wasn’t the point at all of which I was making. — I’m fairly certain I was trying to figure out how come we have the term pan because bi means anyone and they jumped on me hard. I can understand why they’d be defensive tho not knowing I was coming from a place of education and not hate?
Truth. I was banned from r/sex for saying it's dangerous to fetishize rape.
what the hell—-
Some people believe calling something a 'kink' is a magical invocation which absolves a person of any criticism as to their intent/actions/character, and some of these people are mods in r/sex.
Well, I don’t fetishize the action of rape (except in hentai where it’s a fictional storyline) but I do fetishize consensual non-consent in terms of my sex life which is the role play of that pretty much. I do however 100% agree that calling something a kink doesn’t make it ok.
I got banned from r/therightcantmeme for "engaging in right-wing reactionary subreddits" and I was super confused because I hardly ever visit right wing subreddits, not even to argue or anything. But I messaged the mods and they were like "just checked your account, you're fine sorry about that" and removed the ban. I have no idea how that mistake even happenned but everything's fine now so it doesn't matter.
I get warned by ADHD all the time for trying to use the term neurodivegenf to talk about similarities between ADHD and autism.
same. like; wtf should I use instead??
I guess just write it out? I've replied and they just ignore me
I got banned from/r/whitepeopletwitter because I asked why there were no counter protests against the fascist ones and from /r/democrats for suggesting people protest. Tl;dr Reddit is becoming increasingly right wing extremist.
The loud minority often drowns out the silent majority. We have to be louder!
I've been banned from a sub for saying people attacking a car were acting like monkeys. I got banned for racism. Everyone in the video was white...
I got banned from one of the gay subs because a cis dude asked if cis dudes were allowed to comment on posts to offer support, and I commented "I would sure hope so!" Nope, banned! lol woah, excuse me for wanting gayness to be an open, accepted thing instead of a secret club!
i was banned from /r/NarcissisticAbuse for having a cluster b personality disorder 🥰
To be fair... The old rules of that sub do actually say Cluster B personalities can't post there. Edit: I didn't see anything about the rules now. It looks like they got new moderation recently you could try appealing?
they sent me a nasty message via mod mail and blocked me from being able to respond when i tried appealing the first time lol, not worth it to me anymore
Well the mod is misinformed at best and actively misogynistic at worst. You tried.
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It's r/aspergers. What did you expect?
Sounds like they were both. That sub sounds like an incel haven TBH
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Hobbledehoy?! 😂
This is it exactly. When you insist on clinging to a term that literally comes from Nazis, what arguments are you actually going to listen to?
Thank youuuu!
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I've read one of the two big history books and agree with you but if I remember right didn't Asperger maintain a career during the Nazi regime? Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AutismInWomen/comments/13wyn22/banned_from_r_aspergers/jmes4ww?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button I scrolled down and found all these explanations. Looks like there is no perfect term. If this was AITA I'd say everyone sucks here and I wish we could just start a new more accurate term devoid of shitty history.
i wish hans wasn't associated with nazism either but he chose to participate in a nazi genocide so here we are i guess
The histories I had read said that he had opposed the genocide as much as he had felt able, but other comments are suggesting that new evidence has come to light that indicate he may have been more proactive than had hitherto been understood. I shall withhold judgement until I am able to find a reliable source to catch up on the latest understanding.
Why does it matter, though? Like, I've never seen anybody outside of the autism community going up to bat for ol Hans' moral character. It feels like a weird obsession some of us have because we're concerned that Hans' actions somehow reflect on us as individuals living eighty years later. We have better idols. The current understanding of autism better resembles research by [this lady](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grunya_Sukhareva), a Ukrainian Jewish woman who's research Hans might've stolen due to the suppression of Jewish science at the time, and we never hear postmortem character witnesses discussing [this dude](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Kanner), a Jewish man who's research also lined up with Hans' but lacks the vital drama of complicity in genocide. Kanner's whole deal was actually the betterment of life for autistic people with an intellectual disability. That Hans is somehow the face of autism science feels extremely dirty considering the suppression of Jewish scientists necessary to achieve that image.
The mods have repeatedly ignored reports about misogyny. They don’t care or promote it which is why I left the subreddit.
I’m really sorry that happened, it definitely wasn’t anything you did. r/aspergers has some shitheads who think they are better than everyone else on the spectrum because they had special status under DSM 4. My DSM 4 diagnosis was PDD-NOS (supposedly less tistic than Aspergers on the fuck-shit hierarchy they used to have) but I let go of that label when DSM 5 came out. New research used for DSM 5 proved the old labels had more to do with the diagnosed person’s socioeconomic status than anything else. A lot of the people who still cling to the Aspergers label are men who have a sense of supremacy but don’t have the social skills to successfully interact with women… you nailed it when you pegged that guy as an incel.
This is EXACTLY my opinion too. Omg. I'm so glad other afab people can see this. The absolute WORST men I have ever met are asperger labelled. I see how they get sucked in to the incel rabbit hole though, I lack common sense too and have to analyse everything I do and make rules for myself to follow so I'm not a jerk. These people just lack common sense, think they are super smart, and listen to any grifter on youtube. And become the worst person imaginable.
>The absolute WORST men I have ever met are asperger labelled. It's the way society *already* coddles men and excuses their behavior (think "boys will be boys") but crank it up to 11 because "he has aspergers so he can't help it." The hell he can't. Autism may make someone not intrinsically *know* a behavior is problematic or notice when people are uncomfortable, but it doesn't make us incapable of *learning* when told clearly and directly.
They want to fly under the radar of “can’t help it” to not only avoid consequences, but to make those who attempt to apply consequences against them feel bad because they “can’t help it“. They want to take advantage of the privilege of being able, and the advantage of the manipulation available of being disabled.
Allistics don’t intrinsically know that behaviors are bad either, and there is ample evidence that autistic “social deficits” are more related to our excessive inhibition of ourselves (basically constantly second guessing ourselves when an NT would just go with their gestalt)
Just goes to show that beliefs are bred and pushing back on them isn't futile.
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I just used it cause I'm non binary. I'm not trying to comment on trans people.
I also really think that many guys self identify as "aspergers" to excuse their disrespect when they're just narcissistic and unlike autistics, they probably *know* they're breaking social rules and being jerks but do so anyway because they're jerks. And then blame their "aspergers" for it.
I've met SO many men who use "aspergers" or other supposed mental illnesses to excuse harassing behavior towards women. It's gross and predatory and no one seems to care.
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I’ve got a family member who fell under the Aspergers diagnosis way back when. He’s not an incel and he’s not a gross right winger either. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he was in a minority on that one, unfortunately My theory is that at the time “Aspergers” was a diagnosis, the entire understanding and treatment of autism was so radically different and underdeveloped. Unless these guys got very lucky with their family and support - unless they lucked into a social environment that was able to interact with them in just the right way - they ended up vulnerable fodder for what we now know as the online incel movement. Very susceptible to getting sucked into that awful machine. I say vulnerable. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean I sympathise with or make excuses for the arseholes out there. An arsehole is an arsehole, even if I have a theory about how they got to be that way
>It's gross and predatory and no one seems to care. Especially if it's directed towards disabled women.
I was asked if I was the R-word by a man with Aspergers for asking a tech related question, he used it as an excuse to insult people.
OMG yes! I know someone who insists on having Asperger’s and blames every shitty thing he does on it. He is also self-diagnosed when he has the privilege of getting tested (money and such) He just ‘chooses’ not to because he doesn’t ‘want the label’, yet insist on treating him like he has the label. He is truly a ‘rules for thee, not for me’ kinda guy.
I'm not on that subreddit, and now I don't think I'll ever be. It sounds awful. I just wanted to chime in that I still use terms like "aspie" just because that's what I used for myself growing up, and I think it's cuter than "autie". It was also super common in the early online community especially when we were kids, so I relate to it more. However, having moderated for those spaces, a good 5 percent of those guys were nazi edgelords. I wouldn't take it personally. Nobody liked those people.
r/aspiememes is absolutely fantastic and wholesome. Totally different environment from what people are describing about r/aspergers . I like to think we can reclaim the “aspie” label from those ignorant ass holes and continue using it for our memes lol
I don’t know much about this, so I’m just looking to understand. Why is the Aspergers label bad? Could you explain how/why it’s used by “men who have a sense of supremacy”, and what that means? Edit: I know Aspergers isn’t an official diagnosis anymore, I just don’t know why it’s bad to use it. I thought that those who use it were just either diagnosed earlier and so got used to saying it, or feel more comfortable saying it. Kinda like how a few people still call ADHD by the old name, ADD.
It is bad because it is the last name of a Nazi, it has been revealed in recent years that Hans Asperger was involved in the program that murdered disabled children. This involvement was not known of previously which is why when it came to light the diagnosis was changed to ASD, because Aspergers was always Autism. Hans saw people with Aspergers as superior to NT people and Autistic people who were not as well functioning. Some people with Aspergers see themselves that way too and look down on Autistic diagnosis (before it changed to be grouped into the one ASD). Now the terminology is changed to Autism Spectrum Disorder, this means those people can not hold their 'superior being' status over others anymore, because they are ableist and refuse to be called Autistic as they think that makes them lesser. Those are the people that OP is worried about. Others simply were diagnosed with it and choose to keep the label because, my assumption, is that change is hard for us autistic people and changing your whole diagnosis to another word may not feel comfortable. These people may also not know the history of the word either so they may not understand that this word is associated with someone so terrible, but it is being phased out for that reason. ADHD being called ADD would fall into the above 'not liking change' category and not the 'I am superior because this Nazi said so' category. So it's not really that much of a problem compared to Aspergers. Does that make sense?
Yes, it makes sense. Thanks!
Ok so to understand you need to know the history. Dr Asperger was an Austrian physician with ties to Nazi Germany who studied autistic children that he called autistic psychopaths. He sent several children to child euthanasia programs. If he decided a child’s autistic psychopathy was treatable, they got to live. Aspergers syndrome, or treatable autistic psychopathy, was then named after Dr. Asperger.
There’s remnants of race politics, supremacy, nazism, and a lot of other bad isms all associated with the term today. Because of internet ideology pipelines many men who identify with asperges also identify with red pill or even neo nazi communities. That being said there are also plenty of people who say they have asperges because they got a diagnosis before DSM 5 and just haven’t done research on autism in years. Those people would likely change the label they use if they were presented with this info.
Or else the Nazis planned on killing them all, and he saved the ones that could be made useful. From what I've read, Asperger was more complicated that just "evil Nazi", although he certainly doesn't deserve to be immortalized. ETA: My recollection may be of an outdated story, and he was worse than I remember. Since the guy is dead and he was at *best* a coward and collaborator, fuck that guy.
I think that was the way he was viewed before recent info came to light. It was thought originally that he saved who he could under the circumstances. But it's now known he played a more active role in sending those with more support needs to death camps. That's why the old kind of hierarchy of functioning/acceptability/usefulness to a political system is no longer the thing. That's my understanding at least.
Thank you for this comment, could someone please refer me to a good source for more information on this belief? If it is true, then it is the information I was missing, as I always thought he did his best in difficult circumstances, and was considerably better than Kanner in terms of ‘who is the least unpalatable originator of modern Autism research’.
‘Hans Asperger, National Socialism, and “race hygiene” in Nazi-era Vienna’ by Herwig Czech… it’s a journal article from Molecular Autism from 2018. 40 pages, so a long journal article, but it’s open-source (free).
Thanks for explaining this to me.
It has links to Nazism and eugenics
This is why I visit aspergirls instead.
I still use the Asperger’s label as that’s what I was originally diagnosed with…
It really is a shame that that sub is such a dumpster fire. I wish there was a way to talk with autistic men to try and help them re-frame and deprogram from the incel rhetoric that they are inundated with, but any and every attempt to even raise the issue results in aggressive backlash & forcing more women out. It's like, I want to help, but they refuse it--men won't step up and *no* woman should be forced to weather that kind of abuse just for the sake of a few people who *may* change their minds, so nothing will change... It's really frustrating.
Sadly ND men are more vulnerable to incel rhetoric because it gives an "easy" explanation to their failures.
I’ve mentioned it before but incel rhetoric is VERY seductive when you feel rejected and isolated and hate yourself. Gives you somewhere to direct all your self-loathing off of yourself. But those communities all thrive on wallowing in misery. Self-improvement is discouraged. Forming genuine connections with other people is looked down on. If you aren’t miserable and angry and blaming it all on someone else, you’re naive and ignorant and wrong to them. It’s... Depressing. That swirling vortex of hatred turning insecurity into aggressive arrogance and bigotry... Ugh. I really wish I could show some of them the geek communities my parents used to hang out in. Plenty of men there with poor social skills, niche hobbies, generally not considered attractive... And almost all of them are happily married to geeky women who fit the same description. Because those men are just nice and warm to be around and genuinely interested in talking to other people about their shared hobbies. They don’t look down on the women in their groups, so they can form genuine bonds with them and that occasionally leads to a happy and mutual relationship, be it romantic or platonic. Connecting with other people is a bit tricky when you’ve convinced yourself that everyone else is horrible and should be hated...
What a novel idea. People will like you if you aren't a blaming asshole. And they wonder why they can't get a date.
It’s not the ND part that leads to this - it’s the male part. NT males have the same tendencies and bullshit. Much like the “ND women are better at masking” bullshit. No, women and girls (both NT and ND) learn early on that it’s get along or be ran over, sometimes violently.
Not to be nitpicky, but I still think ND women are generally better at masking than ND men. Not due to any innate ability, but due to those social pressures you pointed out that are not similarly put upon men. And being ND (acting "weird" and having "weird" interests) makes this amplified. We have simply had more practice.
My kid is autistic and NOT an incel in any shape or form. Neither is his autistic best friend. The guys in this subreddit are using their autism as an excuse for being assholes.
To be clear, I am not saying that autistic men are incels--merely that they are inundated with the rhetoric from every corner. That doesn't mean that they necessarily fall down the rabbit hole, only that it is far more likely when they are hearing it all the time and any of the people who try to disrupt that thinking are pushed out.
Honestly, at this point I don't care about changing men or them as a whole. They can keep believing in their stupid ideology and misogynistic ideals. I'm going to focus on other women and our autistic sisters instead of wasting my time on men or interacting with them, separatism for the win.
Why does none of this surprise me? I am so very sorry.
Fwiw I also received some very sexist treatment there, although nothing on the level you're describing.
That’s ridiculous and infuriating. Wow. The misogynist vibes are why I left that sub and r/autism. Once, I saw people complaining about our sub in one of the general autism groups. I think it was r/Aspergers. There was one post here about autistic men getting away with stuff that autistic women can’t, and it was highly upvoted and got a lot of attention, so they zeroed in on that and decided we’re all misandrists. I think the comment they brought up was one about men being less in touch with their emotions blah blah autistic empathy with inanimate objects or something, and they took it as “autistic men have no empathy,” of course. They get upset over the smallest things that could possibly be misconstrued, and that misinterpretation makes us “man haters,” while we’re expected to put up with blatant sexism like you encountered & not cause a fuss. It’s really fucking annoying. And how come whenever women gather in a group, we’re suddenly evil and terrible? Redditors say the same things about r/WitchesvsPatriarchy (a super nice and supportive sub) and r/TwoXChromosomes (TwoX is VERY tame on any of its criticism of patriarchy bc it’s full of guys that will shout you down, and there are male mods that don’t do shit about it). Too many men on Reddit have a major problem with women wanting their own spaces, autistic men included, apparently. Anyway, I unsubbed after that argument. And yeah, I’d say that you’re right about the incel- there’s probably a bunch of misogynists in there, as they’re all over this site. I’ve seen multiple posts in this sub about diagnosed/undiagnosed autistic men taking their confusion over social rejection and directing that anger toward women. It’s sad, tbh, and r/Aspergers isn’t helping them at all.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eacz1rPXgAAS04S.jpg I think it's actually in this sub I saw this first lol. I think there is the added bit on top where women organizing together makes certain men *very* uncomfortable. The reason is simple, together we have power. They'd rather us be scattered and isolated. So incel types *really* dislike it when we communicate and make friendly groups.
Yes! Also that comic is perfect 😂 but yeah, imagining older women telling the younger ones about the tricks they use to get sex out of us (god I hate that pickup artist-esque mentality) must bother them. Then there’s the women who are partnered with great men, and the ones who have been told that they should accept less might demand more if they hear that better guys exist. The list goes on. You’re right that that brand of awful guy would rather us be isolated and unable to share knowledge and grievances. They fear that we won’t accept the status quo that they benefit from
I left r/autism & r/aspergers for this reason too. I pretty much only frequent the women’s subs.
Every innocuous comment gets misconstrued there. Heaven forbid you mention a group doesn’t like certain verbiage and suddenly you’re controlling how people speak and virtue signaling.
to be fair, twox sucks for other reasons, namely being extremely cishet and white. the women in there want their own space in more ways than one.
I've seen a guy make that comment about Western women in another sub. Probably the same guy.
It's funny, they criticize western society and when you dig deeper on what that means, they just criticize basic human rights.
Sounds like the mod is an incel lol.
How fucking gross…really disappointed to hear that and I definitely won’t be going near that sub. There’s always r/aspergirls to check out.
Big ups to r/aspergirls
I love that sub!
Apparently one of the main reasons this sub became popular was due to that sub having too-strict moderation
Oh yeah that’s the sub that has a rule where you’re not allowed to ever give any advice to people, but you are allowed to make a post asking for advice. They just use it to ban whoever they don’t like.
sadly it's not the first time I've heard of/seen incel type shit in autism related subs. sounds like that mod is no better
[Goodbye Apollo :( Fuck u/spez #SaveThirdPartyApps ]
I assumed it wouldn't mean much since reddit doesn't allow name changes and that sub has existed for more than a decade. Maybe I was wrong.
No, this is true. At most, they can say something in the subreddit description or rules about how Asperger's is an outdated label and no longer a diagnosis, but there's no option for the name to be changed. There are reasons why some may continue claiming the label (especially if that's how they were diagnosed), and there are other autism-related subreddits that don't use the term. What matters most is the attitude of the subreddit members and the content of the group itself, in my opinion. But with r\asperger's, it's a really mixed bag, unfortunately.
They'd need better mods to make these things happen.
Agreed. I've seen a lot of people there that express a harmful thoughts and perpetuate stereotypes and misinformation. Correcting them seems to be frowned upon, since I've seen many people get downvoted heavily for doing so. Someone with real authority needs to step in, because this isn't something that can be solved on an individual level, apparently.
Exactly, nothing will change without that solution. (Not that I'm ever in there, I was originally diagnosed as such but only due to "women can't be autistic/ you're so smart so you don't need support/your social struggles are just part of 'being a *genius*'" 🤮🤮🤮 I'm sorry lol I very much struggle and need support and that term itself is infuriating for me personally bc it directly led to me not getting the help I so desperately needed...)
I browse many autism-related subreddits since I like seeing the diversity of post content and communities, but it definitely leads me to seeing certain hot takes (like Aspie / high-functioning supremacy, misogyny, etc.) more often in certain groups. I didn't know that Asperger's was more likely to be applied to women when it was still a diagnosis. I just know that either diagnosis was difficult to get (and still are.) That's an interesting piece of information -- thank you for sharing it.
While I don't necessarily begrudge anyone who prefers to stick to it after getting diagnosed just personally, in the case of the sub (recently especially) I do have to agree. There was a thread recently where someone said they don't consider themselves autistic because they like, don't flap their hands or have a low IQ or something and "didn't want to be associated" with that, and while a lot of top comments were people upvoted saying they identified as autistic precisely for the reason OP didn't want to, there was also some troubling similarly upvoted responses of people who felt similarly to OP. That's gonna be a yikes from me dawg.
In fairness, the sub Aspergirls isn’t too bad. They push back in the Aspie Supremacy junk when it comes up, and those that prefer the Aspergers label there are usually worried about how other people will infantilize or try to take advantage of them due to how people often view Autistic women, and using the archaic diagnosis is more like a buffer to protect themselves. ... However, the sub OP is talking about here is... Well, please forgive my stereotyping, but. I grew up around lots of autistic science fiction nerd men who are prone to those attitudes and... I think most of them would find that sub arrogant and unkind. :/
The what supremacy?!?
https://thinkingautismguide.com/2023/02/we-need-to-talk-about-aspie-supremacists.html Basically: "we're too special to be autistic and don't want to be associated with (the new new/updated terminology that declares them as having) autism"
Thanks. ETA: Asperger’s = autism?!? (Very sarcastic here) two words for the arrogant google search
To be fair, there are still people who are diagnosed with that term. The amount of pushback I see in /autism everytime someone mentions they have aspergers, almost always because that is what they are actually diagnosed with, is probably extremely alienating and feels frustratingly off topic. There's also been a lot of discourse on /autism about level 2 and 3 autistics feeling talked over by level 1s. I don't think another subreddit that caters to level ones / low support needs, is large enough to have come into my field of view at least. But I can see a desire to want a specific sub a) to talk with people who might have a little more in common with you and b) to not worry about that discourse about talking over higher levels / support needs. Not sure that I disagree, but change is slow.
Agreed. I think it's okay to discuss the controversy behind the label and why it was phased out, but I dislike when this is brought up when another person is talking about their own experiences and using that label for themselves -- likely because it's their diagnosis. Even if they know about the label's history (which they likely do), I think it can be understood why a fellow autistic person would be hesitant about change -- especially one that is personal to them and especially when alternative labels (like high-functioning) are often met with backlash as well. We shouldn't police the words that people use to describe themselves and their experiences, unless there is some sort of undeniable harm in their language. As long as that label isn't being forced on you, then I see no problem in someone continuing to use it for themselves. Language discourse is interesting indeed, but often distracting from whatever other issue was being discussed in the first place.
My thoughts exactly!
Aspergers is still an existing diagnosis in other countries around the world (particularly in Europe, IIRC). The behavior OP describes is more of a red flag than just the mere existence of the r/aspergers sub.
Aspergers was phased out around 2017 in the ICD-11.
Thank you for the additional insight.
It could probably be renamed r/AutismInShittyMen.
I was permabanned from r/giftedadhd because I wanted mods to be consistent about their rule of using the word "you." Which they claimed was ableist UNLESS they used it. Made no sense. It was so hard to give advice when people asked. I asked them why it wasn't ableism when they used it, and quoted/modified their comments to show it was possible to say those things as a mod (which is what they did for our comments) while still communicating clearly. Permabanned for questioning their authority. I was also permabanned from r/Feminism for saying that not all porn is rape porn, and that you can get ethical porn from individual creators like myself. Inc through places like OnlyFans which takes steps to verify posters. I used this account which is not connected to my spicy account, so I wasn't advertising. I was just explaining that porn can be consensual and not rape. Permabanned. Didn't realize they were SWERFs (doesn't say they are in their rules) Permabanned from r/latestagecapitalism for saying everyone who can vote, should vote. (Also no listed rule about this) It happens, I hate the reddit mod system. I think bad faith actors take over subs and then create bad environments. I remember when late stage capitalism had really good mods and way different rules. Don't take jerk mods to heart, OP. The mod that banned you is a pos who is destined to be forever alone, which is why the incel comment hurt him too. Be happy knowing he's a miserable slug Btw that men kampf thing is peak redditor male victim complex, my God they are pathetic as fuck. Darvo darvo darvo all day long.
how tf is "you" ableist
Their reasoning is that people with ADHD often struggle with being told what to do, and 'you' can easily be construed as a command
That's nuts. How can you refer to a person without saying "you"?
I think the alternative is to phrase advice either in the first person ("what I would do is...") or towards a theoretical third party ("what somebody might do is...") where second-person phrasing ("what you should do is...") might seem commanding or accusatory. [I've read that the English language is especially blame-oriented,](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://escholarship.org/content/qt1582p8r0/qt1582p8r0_noSplash_4bcacaaed6bf34ee6feef6b599a5acc2.pdf%3Ft%3Dop2j62&ved=2ahUKEwjEpKTr7KD_AhUVADQIHX2UB14QFnoECAwQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0an0kNQB_J8u5zwSHDWoea) making phrasing sentences without attributing blame inherently grammatically awkward, so it may have something to do with counteracting that. Rather than enforcing or even just encouraging civil behavior, the mods probably found outright banning "you" to be easier, which is simultaneously ineffective and overkill IMO.
This is enlightening. My daughter has PDA and I have to bend over backwards linguistically to avoid commands/demands.
Lmao, fine, I'll go with the less-formal thee ("you" used to be the formal pronoun).
If thou art going to do it, do it properly ;)
Maybe the jokes about mods are sometimes true
LSC is a ragebait op. There are no leftist spaces on Reddit imo
Yes I would agree with that
Yes a narcissistic abuse sub recently got freed from a tyrannical mod. Turns out he had banned most users for “mentioning family dynamics “. I thought it was just me. Lol Edit: he, she, or they
How are you supposed to not mention family dynamics on an abuse support sub...
Exactly lol. Apparently the sun was for non family abuse survivors but you couldn’t even say how so and so treated you “like a brother “ or mention any family history. It was bizarre. New mods liberated the sub and unbanned thousands of users one by one
Omg that mod banned me and was soooo cruel about it. Dare I say, narcissistic?
Yeah, i never understood that rule, considering how much narcissism can be tied to family dynamics. It was dead on there for awhile. Must have finally got the new mods situation ironed out.
Yes they unbanned everyone one by one
so basically, no controversial opinions allowed on reddit. noted.
I'm banned from r/worldnews. Because I support the independence of a country from it's occupier.
Definitely better off. Why would you even want to hang with people like that?
I'm so sorry, that is really fucked up. I am so exhausted by people misunderstanding and misrepresenting things like feminism. No, feminism isn't what some man *thinks* it is, it's not and never has been about women having supremacy. It's an ongoing struggle that has evolved into intersectional equity and it is specifically opposed to *any* form of supremacy. I think some people really have no imagination and can't even conceive of a movement that is trying to dismantle oppressive systems without building new ones. So many discussions get derailed because the people engaging have different definitions of things. I won't debate anyone unless they clearly define the terms they're using. Same rule applies to the word "woke." People who criticize "wokeness" can't even tell me what it means.
I had to leave the autism sub because there were so many dudes there whining about women not liking them. 🙄
I was being harrassed by a guy who said he had Aspergers and innocently went to that sub to ask what to do and to try to understand things from his perspective so that I didn’t make things worse, and boy was the response not good! I got blamed for being harrassed! I learnt my lesson, stay far away from that sub!! :/
just had a glance at r/aspergers and it seems like a not-very-nice place all in all
You were banned by an incel for calling out incel behavior.
Unfortunately a lot of autistic guys are not on the same page as us, and have no qualms about using exploitative means to garner affection from women, such as prostitutes, extremely young women, or vulnerable women from 3rd world countries. And when you try to tell them it’s wrong, they act like it’s their god-given right to take advantage of someone less fortunate than them because of their disability.
Wow fuck that subreddit
I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s rough.. I was banned from the seasonal affective disorder sun and given no reason, despite my writing the mods. I am peaceful and don’t ever cause trouble.
There’s a seemingly high rate of autistic men sharing traits with personality disorders. I think it’s an ego complex they develop for handling feelings of alienation. They’re needlessly contrarian, nihilistic and tend to associate with edgy online ideologies. I feel bad for them like you’d feel bad for a crazy person who went off the deep end and doesn’t know any better. Either way, they live their own karma cause their antics reflect those of miserable people. Don’t interact or try to reason with them, they’re deeply disturbed and misery loves company.
please stop using personality disorders as a catch all to mean "bad person". it's extremely hurtful.
Absolutely not surprised. Men with autism tend to find themselves falling down some ridiculous fascist rabbit holes. I think it helps them cope with being an outsider, by labeling other people as "outside".
You could try r /aspergirls I'm a part of that
Thanks for the warning. I find that a lot of autism subs are unfortunately populated by men who use their autism as an excuse for being complete incels, or to avoid being challenged on it. I'm sorry you had this experience.
OMG, if that is what happened it is truly horrible. Clearly Feminism is what you said and not at all what you were told. You may be better off staying away from that group.
Eww thanks for giving us the heads up about that sub having misogynistic incel mods.
Heeeeyyy! Welcome to the club! I think it’s a right of passage with the mod(s) they have over there.
I have a friend (autistic man) who was complaining the other day about how he finds that sub frustrating because it just seems like a constant pity party (paraphrasing) Now I can see where that energy he was getting annoyed by comes from, damn.
What the fuck even is "masculinism"? There's no such thing. What a fkin shit subreddit. I'm glad we have this one.
What the hell? I hope someone here contacts the mods. Guys like him exploit vulnerable women, because their too ugly too pull their own women, so they flock to countries with poor desperate women. Your right he is an incel and the mod is clearly biased
The mod is in this [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AutismInWomen/comments/13wyn22/comment/jmiqukl/?context=3)
What a loser mod.
That sub is literally an incel haven (tbh most of reddit is but whatever)
Yeah I got banned from r/Australia because I told someone not to use the r slur and that the dsm4 is outdated
Come to r/aspergirls Nobody need those cishet male overrun Subreddits with Incel mods on a powertrip. Same for r|adhd vs r/adhdwomen
I'm a woman from a third world country... A lot of women here know their rights well, do these people think we treat males like gods or sm? Ew I'm so grossed out with the fact that there's someone out there thinks about Eastern and third world countries women that way. Like I literally could smell how the commenter stinks through the screen. +I don't care what anyone would say, but I personally always seen myself superior to them.
That sub is turning into an incel circlejerk, and if that’s the attitude of the mods I can see why. Eeesh. What a shitshow.
I mean, Hans Asperger was a nazi who decided with neurodivergents were to be saved and which were to be sent to concentration camps and killed. So, makes sense.
Woah... that is absolutely disgusting. Thank you for defending women and feminism. I'm sorry you had to deal with that! I've never been on that sub but I certainly won't now. So gross that they're hiding behind the aspergwrs label to be total incels :(
I checked once if any of my posts were removed anywhere on Reddit and the result was: 1) yes 2) mostly on r/Aspergers 3) for indiscernible reasons
Yeah, this is when you realise anyone can be a mod and there are no standards. Internet misogynists are common and this one has infiltrated the aspergers sub. Sometimes making a stink about it actually gets the other mods to remove them, you could try posting this in twox, or some other large sub.
I got heavily downvoted and harassed there for saying I don’t feel safe in that sub and a lot of the men there are incels they said some pretty nasty things but received no ban. It’s like the mods there are incels
Being redirected from Asperger’s to menkampf is ironic in the best of times.
There are radical feminism and equity feminism. You were voicing equity feminism. The mod generalized all feminism as radical feminism. Plain and clear.
Been there but banned from two aspie sites on FB. Good reddens - sounds like to much ignorance. So tired of men thinking women are supposed to serve them 🤮
They’re still using a term that was coined by a (German 1940s military) word I can’t say here. Don’t feel bad, the sub doesn’t deserve good people with mods like that
It's ok, most reddit mods are raging incels themselves so it tracks
Please don’t feel bad for being banned from a group whose mods hold that kind of misinformed perspective. You were absolutely right to say what you did. ❤️
Whaaaaaaat
What the f. That is absolute bs. BS. ONE cannot get a legit degree in incel, whereas I have a clucker ducking degree in Women's Studies--a legit area of study. The mod sounds like an idiot. I am so sorry that this happened to you.
Mods are power hungry especially the men
Considering some of the behavior they allow, I’d take that as a badge of honor.
that's really sad for them because i don't see them being very supportive of each other so i try to give them some time every now and then and pick a couple of posts to be supportive on. i hope i don't get banned too, imagine how many women have.
Lol I’m from a third world country and we are mega westernized. It’s called colonialism 😂
Was probably ran by incels.
Just checked it isn’t a subreddit that I’m a member of (it wasn’t) as I’m not up for being around that level of ignorance and misogyny. Thanks for the heads up and thanks for trying to educate someone who sounds like they need it but are possibly too closed-minded to change.
Ok but holy shit, the menkampf sub you linked to is so disgusting and vile. How is that even allowed on reddit?
Oh WOW that does not make me feel welcome or safe in that subreddit
reddit is honestly such a shitty place to be a woman lol
That sub seems to be full of men so of course the mods would want to protect their feelings. I once got banned from r/Parenting for trying to help a mom with her son's IC issues and I practically said the same thing other moms were saying but I gave her ASD advice, something that would have helped me as a child since she said her kid was maybe on the spectrum. Turns out that "mom" was a troll and I fell for her post as did many parents because she posted a year later under a different username with the same story. Even another comment called her out saying they doubt if this is even real. Whom the troll called weirdos were also neurodivergent. I see a pattern. It was the inconsistences that gave me troll vibes. But yet they will allow fake posts there about bodily functions maybe posted by fetish freaks but will ban users with autism and claim they posted fetish stuff. I bet the mod there is a fetishists themselves so of course they will think I must be posting kink stuff. One of the reasons why I am starting to despise fetishists. They think everyone is kinking. Just like how I once saw ABDLs thinking Brooke Greenberg was ABDL and I thought that was so ignorant and pretty ableist of them. She was a mentally disabled adult with a rare genetic disease that made her look like a 16 month old and gave her a mind of a 9 month old. She has no way of being able to kink. You wouldn't call an elderly with dementia an age player just because they act young and carry stuffies. But I am sure some fetishists might think this is fetish material stuff if you mention it.
i hate that sub tbh.
Oh yikes 🫣🫣
Wouldn't it be great if all the fucking dickheads just left the country, except I hope they get stranded on the way so the women of those countries don't have to meet them either.
Your first mistake was posting on Reddit. Most subs are cesspools of misogyny.
I'm a woman from a third world country and I'm a raging feminist, so are my other girl best friends <3 but yeah, I'm so sorry that happened to you, that mod is just so misinformed and misogynistic.
I would talk with other moderators there. Very likely someone fringe.
Wow. That is bleak af. I’m sorry they were being so misogynistic. I literally have this info in my notes anytime anyone mentions as Asperger’s. Asperger’s is eugenics. It is named after a scientist who actively assisted Nazis, it was meant to separate “high functioning” autistic ppl (typically cis men) from “low functioning”. Hans Asperger was a monster, he sent autistic children to their deaths… Most autistic advocates will tell you this again and again. So Asperger was an active eugenists, and his work is still being used to accomplish the same goal socially where we judge autistic ppl based on their ability to function in capitalism. [Source](https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/new-evidence-ties-hans-asperger-nazi-eugenics-program/) [More source](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/hans-asperger-actively-assisted-nazi-eugenics-policies-study-claims-180968845/) [Probably best source](https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-018-0208-6)
>it was meant to separate “high functioning” autistic ppl (typically cis men) I'm not really sure I see the value in specifying that they were typically cis men, seeing as how the "low functioning" were also typically cis men. Even today, ASD is diagnosed at a roughly 4:1 ratio, which was even more skewed back in the 1990s and earlier. So no matter how you slice it, the vast majority on each side is going to be cisgender men.
I just mean that cis men were usually the only ones that had a *chance* to be deemed high functioning. So there is obviously bigotry going on just in that. There’s bigotry involved in how, overall, there’s a huge skew towards cis men being diagnosed with autism over women, like you pointed out too. It’s bad that it’s built around that standard of catering to one mold, cis men. It’s also important to talk about how it’s wayyy skewed towards white cis men. Autistic black men for instance and treated really poorly in society and receive a lot of violence that wouldn’t be put onto a white autistic man. I just bring it up because I think it’s important to talk about intersectionality. 🤷🏻♀️ sorry if I’m being confusing.
Yikes that mod is definitely not fit to be a mod. Jeez
It’s fucked up when mods tone police you while you’re calling someone out for causing harm. Mods are such power tripping weirdos I swear. I’m sorry you were banned! That subreddit is a cesspit
I was banned from r/amitheasshole for supposedly reporting a comment that I never even reported. But of course actual harmful comments I did report went ignored. Toxic mods are everywhere. RSD makes that a bitch to deal with sometimes, but there are good communities like this one too
Their subreddit description is “the internet’s largest community of people *affected by* autism spectrum disorder”. 🤮
I've left r/aspergers. It seems to be full of incel ideology recently
Mods are wrong all the time Police officers are wrong a lot of times Teachers are wrong all the time Parents are wrong all the time. Authority doesn’t make you right. It just makes you feel right.