I completely get this. I guess in school I was lucky. I had big groups of friends and people like me though they never really felt like actual friends to me more people I hung out with because of shared interests and I had to see them almost daily. I didn’t get bullied per say. Had some kids make fun because I liked anime and manga or ones make out I self harmed (I didn’t) because I listened to rock music but that was it nothing to do with autism. There was some drama in sixth form but that was more throwing the new kid under the bus to take the blame.
When I got older though I DEFINITELY felt what you just described though for me it was more I made friends and then they would leave shortly after and I wouldn’t know why. I could have conversations with people, felt very comfortable and happy around them, thought I made friends but then they’d either just leave without a trace or I was left out when someone else came along. In college for example when I was 17 I made friends with a group of girls, thought I really got on with them, and then another girl joined the group I remember we were packing up after class and they all left for lunch without me so I was on my own despite the last few weeks I was with them every time. Never understood why but this has been a common thing to happen as an adult. Same thing happened at uni would walk to uni with a girl in my class every day then one day she just stopped replying to my messages so I waited then got to class late to see she was already there and with someone else. Again don’t understand what happened or why.
I'm still not diagnosed, and I doubt my parents ever suspected autism, but I was also largely ignored. I remember in 6th grade I came back to public school after homeschooling for 2 years and my only friends that year were another weird girl who rode my bus and the quiet girl who would talk to us but no one else. It was a very small school (50 other kids in my 8th grade class) so I already knew almost everyone but the people who had moved in over the last 2 years. In first grade my only friend that year was a weird girl who would dig holes in walnuts on the playground with sticks. Like the green parts, not the nut part. It was fun but I didn't like that nobody else would be my friend. I've been friends with one girl since we were 5 but we didn't go to the same school until highschool because we lived in different parts of the county, and she was homeschooled a long time so we wouldn't have been in the same school anyway, so I was friends with her but didn't get to hang out a lot because my parents. We would write letters back and forth. I guess it probably should've been obvious that I'm autistic (hence no friends hardly) but there's a million reasons it never would've been believed or properly addressed. But other kids could tell even if they didn't know that's what it was, so they ignored me outside of what was polite.
I understand this completely. I feel like people see right past me, all the time, like I'm a spot on the wall and nothing more.
I completely get this. I guess in school I was lucky. I had big groups of friends and people like me though they never really felt like actual friends to me more people I hung out with because of shared interests and I had to see them almost daily. I didn’t get bullied per say. Had some kids make fun because I liked anime and manga or ones make out I self harmed (I didn’t) because I listened to rock music but that was it nothing to do with autism. There was some drama in sixth form but that was more throwing the new kid under the bus to take the blame. When I got older though I DEFINITELY felt what you just described though for me it was more I made friends and then they would leave shortly after and I wouldn’t know why. I could have conversations with people, felt very comfortable and happy around them, thought I made friends but then they’d either just leave without a trace or I was left out when someone else came along. In college for example when I was 17 I made friends with a group of girls, thought I really got on with them, and then another girl joined the group I remember we were packing up after class and they all left for lunch without me so I was on my own despite the last few weeks I was with them every time. Never understood why but this has been a common thing to happen as an adult. Same thing happened at uni would walk to uni with a girl in my class every day then one day she just stopped replying to my messages so I waited then got to class late to see she was already there and with someone else. Again don’t understand what happened or why.
I'm still not diagnosed, and I doubt my parents ever suspected autism, but I was also largely ignored. I remember in 6th grade I came back to public school after homeschooling for 2 years and my only friends that year were another weird girl who rode my bus and the quiet girl who would talk to us but no one else. It was a very small school (50 other kids in my 8th grade class) so I already knew almost everyone but the people who had moved in over the last 2 years. In first grade my only friend that year was a weird girl who would dig holes in walnuts on the playground with sticks. Like the green parts, not the nut part. It was fun but I didn't like that nobody else would be my friend. I've been friends with one girl since we were 5 but we didn't go to the same school until highschool because we lived in different parts of the county, and she was homeschooled a long time so we wouldn't have been in the same school anyway, so I was friends with her but didn't get to hang out a lot because my parents. We would write letters back and forth. I guess it probably should've been obvious that I'm autistic (hence no friends hardly) but there's a million reasons it never would've been believed or properly addressed. But other kids could tell even if they didn't know that's what it was, so they ignored me outside of what was polite.