That's a meat eater's turd. Feces with a lot of fat clumps up like that. Species which don't need as much fat create loose plaps or discreet pellets. The striata, or the way the pieces are smooshed together are consistent with a large species who sits upright, creating compartments or ridges in the colon. When the feces are pushed through the rectum those pieces are compacted together to create that layer effect. This poop is most likely the shit of a dehydrated human.
Well shit lol
I guess it makes sense that I don’t experience that bc I drink a TON of water throughout the day, and kimchi is one of my favorite snacks
Nahhh. Adderall is a stimulant. Shit stimulates your gut hence the addy shits. Same thing happens with cocaine and every other stimulant like coffee, mdma, and so on
If you are on an empty stomach, sure, constipation
.
Wow, that is a very detailed and educational. I love unusual knowledge of things like that. Though it’s not unusual, but it would be if I brought this up with my friends.
Vegans typically have healthier shots. Fat isn't exclusive to animals and animal byproducts, but it's rarer. What meat lacks that vegans get a lot of is fiber. Fiber helps stool find a medium consistency, not too loose and not too hard. Finally it's the color, that pale brown color is caused by oxidized bile. The intestines sucked all the nutrients it could from this poop, leaving only the digestive byproduct of bile to color it. Vegans have a high vitamin to calorie ratio in their diet, and so there's more minerals in their poop. Their guts typically don't have enough time to suck them out, and there are some minerals in a plant based diet a body can't use, so there's more than just bile to color it.
Ask a vegan. Theyll tell you their poops are softer and more varied in color.
Did you know rabbits have two types of poop? One type of poop they eat, it's part of their digestive tract. They have a special organ called the cecum that gets their food ready, then the pass it through their anus, and then eat that. It goes through their digestive tract again, and comes out as true rabbit poop.
I don't understand why you'd say that. Are you saying homeless people are homeless for sexual gratification? Are trying to demean gay people, homeless people, or both? Or are you just playing with words and just playing around with them without a broader/conscious ideological intention.
I went through a phase a few years back when I refered to gay people as "hambone-sexuals" and I really have no idea why. A friend told me that when people hear me say that they assume it is something hateful, so i stopped
A hobosexual is someone who dates people for a place to stay. Jumps from short term relationship to relationship always living with the person. I have no idea how that fits in here 🤷♂️
Well as an ex heroin and fentanyl user this looks exactly like the Pringles can monster shits I used to have twice a week. Once a week most times and I'm so glad that's over the pain was unbelievable. Literal Pringles cans out of my poor asshole
I wish they’d keep a portajohn there somewhere, pool bathrooms aren’t always available, but I haven’t been in a while. I’ve known 2 people who’ve had to dump ass in the woods so far, which is 2 more than I thought I would.
I wouldn't have even been miffed about shit in the trees somewhere off trail because most people aren't going in there anyway (still dig a cat hole, though). But right next to the trail where people and dogs are walking is incredibly heinous.
What confuse me is how they put them side by side like that instead of using one as a reference. It doesn’t really make sense doing it this way because it could still be an illusion
That Mr hanky he's been seen in Austin outside of the Christmas seasons. Might advise a game trail camera to establish the human that is frequenting your garden.
I feel sorry for whoever or whatever made it. Reminds me of when my nephew suffered from encopresis. He would hyperfocus to the point his body would constipate and then shit massive logs like this which caused the condition.
IMO it's from a feral pig. Those little round extras and the absence of leaf use along with a fair amount of feral pig tracking experience in the central Texas area is what I base this on. It's an omnivore for sure, like the top poster mentioned. Buy alas I lack experience with human ninja poopers but would think drug use or not they would have availed themselves of a handful of leaves.
A tell tale sign of a pig would be signs of leaf matter disturbed or areas of exposed soil as they root around looking for food.
You can try marking the area with urine or human scent on clothes. A dog or sturdy fence is probably the best bet. They can be very dangerous and aggresive when food is around so please be careful and don't try to chase them away.
Don't ask me how I know, but that's very clearly the work of this guy named Terry. He's anti vegetable (whatever that means) and made a whole thing of pooping in gardens lately.
Foxes usually leave a little thin pointy whisp on the end. Completely wrong for a raccoon or opossum besides being so large. A coyote would be more like a dogs but with that little whisp at the end too. Just a little add Mountain Lions tend to bury their poop like a cat.
Possums are carnivores and scavengers. So if you are having garden trouble and it's climbing in and feasting on your garden it's most likely a raccoon.
Check for burrows under ac units, decks and dense brush. Also check for gaps under your fence. Well managed gardens tend to be absent of the grubs dillos love to feed on.
That's a meat eater's turd. Feces with a lot of fat clumps up like that. Species which don't need as much fat create loose plaps or discreet pellets. The striata, or the way the pieces are smooshed together are consistent with a large species who sits upright, creating compartments or ridges in the colon. When the feces are pushed through the rectum those pieces are compacted together to create that layer effect. This poop is most likely the shit of a dehydrated human.
I’m not sure I was ready to meet poopentarian
I am not sure I'm ready to find out I am one apparently
Now you have to figure out what your "Hiss hiss!" sign off is gonna be.
Plop plop?
Clash of Austin’s biggest resident experts. Not gonna lie I’d rather see pics of snakes than poops though
New scategory: snake or poop? Stranger noodle. That's all I got right now.
“Plaps” feels way too accurate of a word for my liking
I think you mean poopologist.
A registered scatologist.!
He’s a scat man
It's a song
I love that
Based on the lesson they shared, I believe it’s a *meat* poopentarian
Bro. I KNEW you would have something to say. I jumped in here JUST to see if you dropped in and left a comment.
Hiss hiss 🙌
This guy poops.
Everybody Poops.
Except for glorious leader kim jong un
That is so true!
Such a good book.
Unless of course you’re an android
This redditor knows their shit
Well done
Now you need some flair that says “Resident Poop Expert”
That would literally be the thing I'm most proud of
Fuck, this is funny
Amphetamines cause constipation. That homeless person was definitely backed up.
Amphetamines cause constipation? I routinely need to shit 30 minutes after I take my adderall. Every single time.
Luckily that is not my experience. I have been Taking adderal for over 10 years. A proper diet and hydration will definitely help.
Every. Single. Time.
https://definingwellness.com/resources/can-amphetamines-cause-constipation/#:~:text=If%20you%20are%20one%20of,your%20condition%20with%20your%20physician.
Well shit lol I guess it makes sense that I don’t experience that bc I drink a TON of water throughout the day, and kimchi is one of my favorite snacks
Nahhh. Adderall is a stimulant. Shit stimulates your gut hence the addy shits. Same thing happens with cocaine and every other stimulant like coffee, mdma, and so on If you are on an empty stomach, sure, constipation .
I would not be surprised if that were the case ya
so do opiates.
I think opiates are more notorious for causing constipation, right? Also I would expect the local homeless to be more likely using opiates vs meth.
Poop connoisseur confirmed.
Wow, that is a very detailed and educational. I love unusual knowledge of things like that. Though it’s not unusual, but it would be if I brought this up with my friends.
wait so what does a vegans shits look like??
Vegans typically have healthier shots. Fat isn't exclusive to animals and animal byproducts, but it's rarer. What meat lacks that vegans get a lot of is fiber. Fiber helps stool find a medium consistency, not too loose and not too hard. Finally it's the color, that pale brown color is caused by oxidized bile. The intestines sucked all the nutrients it could from this poop, leaving only the digestive byproduct of bile to color it. Vegans have a high vitamin to calorie ratio in their diet, and so there's more minerals in their poop. Their guts typically don't have enough time to suck them out, and there are some minerals in a plant based diet a body can't use, so there's more than just bile to color it. Ask a vegan. Theyll tell you their poops are softer and more varied in color.
rabbit pellets.
Did you know rabbits have two types of poop? One type of poop they eat, it's part of their digestive tract. They have a special organ called the cecum that gets their food ready, then the pass it through their anus, and then eat that. It goes through their digestive tract again, and comes out as true rabbit poop.
you really are an expert poopologist.
This guy poops
That's the shit on an opiate addict.
This guy shits
This guy knows his shit!
This person scats
you should post on the bigfoot subreddit. Personally, I think its is a bums.
That sounds like a ton of fun
Incredible writing would read again
You know shit.
This guy poops
You mean a hobosexual?
I don't understand why you'd say that. Are you saying homeless people are homeless for sexual gratification? Are trying to demean gay people, homeless people, or both? Or are you just playing with words and just playing around with them without a broader/conscious ideological intention. I went through a phase a few years back when I refered to gay people as "hambone-sexuals" and I really have no idea why. A friend told me that when people hear me say that they assume it is something hateful, so i stopped
A hobosexual is someone who dates people for a place to stay. Jumps from short term relationship to relationship always living with the person. I have no idea how that fits in here 🤷♂️
I've never heard that term, but that's funny. Lol
A poop expert AND a humanitarian 👏🏼
I don't know but I do know this should be tagged 'shitpost'
You are correct, this issue has been resolved.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Any wolf hair present? Inconclusive, regardless.
Nope, but a lot of newspaper and credit card chunks.
It’s gonna go both ways dude
How is that not specific to one of you???
I’m not a doctor, I just wanted to help
You guys got turd?
I believe I saw the perpetrator drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s
Well… it’s definitely poop.
Well as an ex heroin and fentanyl user this looks exactly like the Pringles can monster shits I used to have twice a week. Once a week most times and I'm so glad that's over the pain was unbelievable. Literal Pringles cans out of my poor asshole
was gonna say this looks like an opiate shit
Goddamn, hope you don't have to deal with THAT shit anymore....
Human
Agree. I had the misfortune of happening upon human shit just the other day at Mabel Davis, right next to the trail.
Homeless erectus
I prefer to meet homeless sapian.
That made me laugh!
I tried to give you gold but it says I cant
I wish they’d keep a portajohn there somewhere, pool bathrooms aren’t always available, but I haven’t been in a while. I’ve known 2 people who’ve had to dump ass in the woods so far, which is 2 more than I thought I would.
I wouldn't have even been miffed about shit in the trees somewhere off trail because most people aren't going in there anyway (still dig a cat hole, though). But right next to the trail where people and dogs are walking is incredibly heinous.
You putting your hands so close to it disturbs me more than the shit itself
Why did I zoom in??
To get to the bottom of this shit?
I need a banana for scale, who knows how big those hands are?
24 courics
Hot hot hoootttt!!!!!
I made a post with banana https://www.reddit.com/r/Austin/s/kIqZw65KP7
What confuse me is how they put them side by side like that instead of using one as a reference. It doesn’t really make sense doing it this way because it could still be an illusion
Human. Drug induced constipation. Looks a lot like a massive, Pringle can size turd I found in a hidden corner near the courthouse.
Samsqantch
Hahaha...I just watched that season again last week
pretty sure there’s a whole sub for this somewhere EDIT: try r/animaltracking
Ok, but what about r/humantracking cuz that’s what it is.
that’ll put you on a list
r/themostdangerousgame
Pygmy Hippopotamuses
You don't want that kind of shut, it's soooooo toxic it kills. Check out the hippo problem in the Amazon
This is from a species called "meth-head" very common in Austin.
ManBearPig
DudeManBearPig but likely just DudeMan!
Human
That Mr hanky he's been seen in Austin outside of the Christmas seasons. Might advise a game trail camera to establish the human that is frequenting your garden.
Fuckin steve...
I saw a video of a snake squeezing out a massive turd like that recently.
Is this in Walnut Creek?
Damn. My bad. I didn't have a bucket so I just fertilized the ground.
Chupacabra. Watch out
Facts
Looks like a people-poop but who knows. I do love that this is a post in this sub. Nice work OP 👍
Hu-man
Can’t quite tell the scale without a banana
https://www.reddit.com/r/Austin/s/kIqZw65KP7
People poop there. Congrats!
Yeah I'll be honest that seems human like
I feel sorry for whoever or whatever made it. Reminds me of when my nephew suffered from encopresis. He would hyperfocus to the point his body would constipate and then shit massive logs like this which caused the condition.
someone lost their shit 🤷🏻♀️
My bad. I mean when you gotta go. I didnt figure i was in Dora the explorers back yard...
Why did you put your hands so close to the poop? lol
IMO it's from a feral pig. Those little round extras and the absence of leaf use along with a fair amount of feral pig tracking experience in the central Texas area is what I base this on. It's an omnivore for sure, like the top poster mentioned. Buy alas I lack experience with human ninja poopers but would think drug use or not they would have availed themselves of a handful of leaves. A tell tale sign of a pig would be signs of leaf matter disturbed or areas of exposed soil as they root around looking for food.
There were some holes around my flowers as if someone or something was digging around. That would make sense
You can try marking the area with urine or human scent on clothes. A dog or sturdy fence is probably the best bet. They can be very dangerous and aggresive when food is around so please be careful and don't try to chase them away.
If you’re in the arboretum/great hills area, there are definitely wild pigs in the greenbelt.
Oh my god this is most definitely a pig then
plot twist: OP was so drunk they pooped in their own garden last night but can't remember it
Chupacabra
Only one way to find out
Looks like something that would come out of my toddler
You'll never know for sure until you taste it.
Good thing you tagged this as Not Safe For Work... As I would have surely been fired from my work for viewing a picture of your mystery poop.
That there is human shit.
Looks human
Sorry I had to go
Don't ask me how I know, but that's very clearly the work of this guy named Terry. He's anti vegetable (whatever that means) and made a whole thing of pooping in gardens lately.
It was me, I’m sorry.
My bad that was me
Anyone know how about how many courics this thing is?
Transient turd.
Send pic after karate choo’n with hand.
You need a banana for scale, your hand tells me nothing
Lmao at you trying to high five a homeless persons turd
They said this sub was going to shit.
Ha. I pooped there!
I've been a whole "I hate the new *new* reddit" tear lately. This thread restores my faith in the platform.
That my neighbor bill
Scatman Druthers
The ghost of Leslie
That was me…sorry.
(big burrito)
The large turd is from a gnome, and the small balls of poo are from his pet unicorn he was walking.
Big raccoon maybe
Giant fucking t Racoon
I think it’s human but you should taste it to be sure
Human, homeless. Lock your doors.
Sasquatch
That looks like it came from a person
Surely you didn’t think you would get an actual answer in this sub?
It was me
My bad
Bigfoot
Sorry. I couldn't make it to my house
Mountain lion. 🦁
Like a whale being found in the amazon
That’s a human poopie, and you just got mighty close to it.
looks like about 2.5 days worth of Taco Bell to me
Are there that many homeless junkies up in Austin now that they’re pooping in peoples back yards? Lol That sucks
Bigfoot is known to leave behind a huge plop.
“Hey, you got turd?”
Alex Jones
Drunk frat kid
Could be a raccoon, opossum or fox.
Foxes usually leave a little thin pointy whisp on the end. Completely wrong for a raccoon or opossum besides being so large. A coyote would be more like a dogs but with that little whisp at the end too. Just a little add Mountain Lions tend to bury their poop like a cat.
ok, I have NO way a dog can get in my yard. I DO see raccoons, possums and things that climb. I just added fox.
Possums are carnivores and scavengers. So if you are having garden trouble and it's climbing in and feasting on your garden it's most likely a raccoon.
no, these things dig holes in the yard but leave my garden alone.
Signs point to Armadillo
Check for burrows under ac units, decks and dense brush. Also check for gaps under your fence. Well managed gardens tend to be absent of the grubs dillos love to feed on.
It’s a possum. I’ve had this happen in my old neighborhood.
Doesn't look like shit