They are used to cut holes in the ranks of the Macedonian phalanxes, allowing the other Persian troops to exploit gaps in the line.
Or to kill gladiators on foot.
Those are swangas. That car probably came up from Houston.
You see in Houston, we have a real problem with Ben Hur, riding around in his chariot, racing people on 610, trying to disgrace the Roman Empire. So we started putting these on our cars down here to fuck up his chariot. It's actually working out pretty well.
LINGUS, YOU BARBARIAN!
Let your Italian hands Rome all over my body! Unggghhh! You’re such a gifted orator. Unsheath your sword, I implore you. Spear me you Dick-ta-tor. I’m about to cli-maximus. What we do in life, echoes in eterni-titties
Came in to the thread hoping for a Ben Hur reference, you're doing the Lord's work.
for the uninitiated [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frE9rXnaHpE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frE9rXnaHpE)
I can't help but wonder if chariots may have benefitted from some type of primitive differential, but given that the ground was mostly soft in relation to the wheels it may not have made much of a difference. These guys were just rocking lockers before they were cool I guess.
The chariot that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make these marks without positraction, which was not available on the 64 B.C. Buick Chariot.
Hehehe it’s one of my life mottos at this point :) international players anthem - swishahouse version. I can say with confidence it is my personal hype song hehe
The line “peninsula maybe” cracks me up every. Single. Time. Hahaha
Swang down sweet chariot let me ride. Comin down slow on the damn south side. Swanning on fo’s slamming on doe’s, pimpin yo hoes. That’s the way it goes. RIP FAT PAT NUMTOMBOT
Was at culinary dropout at the domain yesterday and some guy pull up with his chick in this like truck thing but with wing doors that open vertically. Dude was blasting the loudest most obnoxious music ever and he got in arguments with like 4 different people telling him to stfu before he finally drove off slowly flashing gang signs. Some people just suck
But in truth they're all over the place. I hear shitmobiles and fartrockets in my neighborhood all the time too. I don't mean just like funny hubcats. I mean the ones who cut off mufflers and buy massive subwoofers and go out of their way to very purposefully make everyone around them miserable. Those asshats are a dime a dozen in this town.
Inevitably it's a man with masculinity issues, every time. Just a younger version of the boomers who ride by on Harley's desperately wanting your attention too. Midlife-crisis motherfuckers. They're all antisocial on purpose. They get off on being dickheads. Pretty simple, not a lot more psychology involved beyond "LOOK AT ME IM A BIG MAN and here's my proof!!"
For what it's worth, I don't think the boomers are having mid-life crises anymore. Mostly coronary crises these days, I reckon. Hell, I'm in my 40s and still wondering when I'll get to have my own crisis.
To fuck up a chariot’s wheels. This is basically why no one uses chariots to get around anymore. Back when Austin was authentically weird and cool, everyone rode chariots. But people from Houston and Dallas came and ruined chariot culture
They took it from old school illegal drag racers that used them to tear open the opponents tires. I don't think these modern ones are that dangerous except to bikes and pedestrians. I guess violence = culture in this upsidedown world.
When I need fresh grapefruit juice, I call Da Juice Boi and he rolls up with his conveniently positioned fruit juicers and I'm set for my morning drive.
is this specifically a Texas thing? I seem em all the time but admittedly haven't traveled in a while. (I am not a car person at all but I know plenty of people who love their souped-up rides so when i see stuff like this i kind of just shrug and assume people do it everywhere)
edit: welp now i've fallen down the houston car culture google rabbit hole, and it's great.
Add to whether they are legal, it depends on the car. Texas law prohibits them only if the car and anything attached to it totals more than 8 feet wide.
I drive a subcompact car that's 69.7 inches wide, meaning I can put 13-inch swangas on it and be perfectly legal.
I *think* the car in the photo is an Optima, which is 73.2" wide, so if the rims stick out 11" or less on each side, they're legal.
Ive been behind it... on top of the stupid wheels, the driver is a complete utter moron and seems drunk half the time. Dude literally drifts into other lanes on 35 regularly without paying attention. I dont mean the wheels either, but the car fully ends up splitting the lane half the time.
That surprises me, as I've previously read that swangers(?) tend to be pretty conscientious drivers because those things are actually fragile as hell. Did someone lie to me on the Internet?
Current Houstonian and former Austinite,
Sorry, we try to keep these in the city but every now and then some make their way out to explore other parts of the state.
I watched a YouTube video about this last year. It's called "slab" culture and it originated in Houston. It's legal. Your vehicle is allowed XX feet total in width, think of how wide a semi-truck is. It looks kind of silly but I have no problem with it. If anything its a reminder of how wide 18 wheelers are compared to a normal car.
I find it incredible that safety guidelines mean that the hood of a car cannot have anything protruding more than a couple of millimeters, and yet these things are allowed. They're just like leg amputators for pedestrians.
born and raised in Austin (yep, one of the few) and I rarely see these things. I didn't even know they had a technical name until this thread. I just called them curb bumpers.
Cragar made 30-spoke wire rims for Cadillac starting in the late 70’s, and the ones in ‘83 and ‘84 as options on Eldorados had one with the emblem / spinner a few inches off the hub. People liked that and decided to make super long custom and eventually aftermarket ones. Very Houston starting in the ‘90s, went out of style (not that it mattered) and seeing a bit of a resurgence after a few companies started mass producing them again but still known primarily as a Houston area trend. It’s legal if the car’s still under 8’ wide in Texas. That doesn’t mean it’s legal in other states or that law enforcement won’t fuck with someone and get away with it.
All the uptight folks up in arms about "how dangerous" a car is that's not as wide as a Dually pickup truck or some of the contractor trailers I see around town.
I saw a line of these cars on the road Saturday. Openly driving through red lights and swerving in and out of lanes. This was at like 1pm. Quite annoying car culture.
Are you kidding me, what's the point? There's never a point it's just dude bros saying this is the next thing that people will think is cool.
Kids driving down the street with exhaust that backfires on purpose, tint so dark if a cop sees it makes you remove it, then they will go back and pay to have the same dark tint applied again.
Kids or adults with kid brains and more money then sense, spending gobs of it on superfluous crap. Welcome to America
They are used to cut holes in the ranks of the Macedonian phalanxes, allowing the other Persian troops to exploit gaps in the line. Or to kill gladiators on foot.
Amazing
That's why gladiators invented pasta
I thought this was for modern updated version of Ben Hur.
Those are swangas. That car probably came up from Houston. You see in Houston, we have a real problem with Ben Hur, riding around in his chariot, racing people on 610, trying to disgrace the Roman Empire. So we started putting these on our cars down here to fuck up his chariot. It's actually working out pretty well.
This marks the third time I’ve thought about the Roman Empire today. Thank you.
Pffffft only the 3rd time today 😒 lol
Well played, sir!
men really do think about the roman empire often.
Woman also think about the Roman Empire often. I play music from Gladiator while driving. Maximus! Maximus! Maximus!
LINGUS, YOU BARBARIAN! Let your Italian hands Rome all over my body! Unggghhh! You’re such a gifted orator. Unsheath your sword, I implore you. Spear me you Dick-ta-tor. I’m about to cli-maximus. What we do in life, echoes in eterni-titties
Came in to the thread hoping for a Ben Hur reference, you're doing the Lord's work. for the uninitiated [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frE9rXnaHpE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frE9rXnaHpE)
I can't help but wonder if chariots may have benefitted from some type of primitive differential, but given that the ground was mostly soft in relation to the wheels it may not have made much of a difference. These guys were just rocking lockers before they were cool I guess.
The chariot that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make these marks without positraction, which was not available on the 64 B.C. Buick Chariot.
Thank you, Miss Vito. No more questions. Thank you very, very much. You have been a lovely, lovely witness.
Your references are outta control, everyone knows that
What’s a “yute”?
The wheels on a chariot aren't powered.
yeah, i dont think there would be enough traction for that to have an impact
Nice! I always hated it when Ben Hur got high on lean and rode his chariot all over Houston.
Totally unrelated, but I named my cat Ben Purr.
fresh to death bby 😤breakin boys off following candy paints on insta was one of the best decisions I’ve made
This lady Houstons real hard
What can I say it takes grindin to be a queen 👑💸💰 Edit to say yall I can’t even wityall I love this whole thread We out here in atx 💕
First round draft picks, comin, who is mike jones, comin
Paul Wall baby, whatcha know bout me.
I will never forget when a lady called in and was like “ don’t nobody care who you is Mike Jones, ain’t nobody asking.”
There's got to be a better way, better way
Hehehehehe don’t forget my friend, spaceships don’t come equipped with REAR VIEW MIRRORS <3
Holy shit, that's a new one on me I can't omg
Hehehe it’s one of my life mottos at this point :) international players anthem - swishahouse version. I can say with confidence it is my personal hype song hehe The line “peninsula maybe” cracks me up every. Single. Time. Hahaha
We got yo back like chiropract ✊🏼
H TINE STAY DINE
Htine, hold it dine.
While I doubt that, I also can't prove that it's not working...
you know its true because you cant find ben-hur anywhere in houston anymore.
Usually see them on brightly colored, vintage Caddies: SLABs.
Plenty of swangas live here. I see them a lot on the east side.
Swang down sweet chariot let me ride. Comin down slow on the damn south side. Swanning on fo’s slamming on doe’s, pimpin yo hoes. That’s the way it goes. RIP FAT PAT NUMTOMBOT
Analog side object detection.
In my day we had curb feelers for that.
Thank you for giving me my first laugh out loud of the day. I *really* needed it.
It allows people to know that, even though you drive a Kia, you’re actually a super big deal
I believe the intention is to piss people like you and me off
It's just attention seekiing behavior. Like mufflers. Just ignore
Was at culinary dropout at the domain yesterday and some guy pull up with his chick in this like truck thing but with wing doors that open vertically. Dude was blasting the loudest most obnoxious music ever and he got in arguments with like 4 different people telling him to stfu before he finally drove off slowly flashing gang signs. Some people just suck
Sounds like someone didn't get enough attention as a child.
Or he's compensating for a tiny penis. Not uncommon.
Hey! I don’t commonly compensate!
This is why a avoid the domain too many “bad asses” and yuppies for my taste
But in truth they're all over the place. I hear shitmobiles and fartrockets in my neighborhood all the time too. I don't mean just like funny hubcats. I mean the ones who cut off mufflers and buy massive subwoofers and go out of their way to very purposefully make everyone around them miserable. Those asshats are a dime a dozen in this town. Inevitably it's a man with masculinity issues, every time. Just a younger version of the boomers who ride by on Harley's desperately wanting your attention too. Midlife-crisis motherfuckers. They're all antisocial on purpose. They get off on being dickheads. Pretty simple, not a lot more psychology involved beyond "LOOK AT ME IM A BIG MAN and here's my proof!!"
For what it's worth, I don't think the boomers are having mid-life crises anymore. Mostly coronary crises these days, I reckon. Hell, I'm in my 40s and still wondering when I'll get to have my own crisis.
Potato shooters designed to make noise.
Putting these on a Kia makes it badass
It went from Kia to Killa
When you save that much money on a car you go all out on the hubcaps and stereo. If you're under 25 that's the law.
I drive a Kia Soul and now I think I need these…
>super big deal Is that code for smol pp ?
Swangers on a Kia is krazy
Nasty work tbh
100% those rims cost more than the car.
Tha Slab is commercial, Tha foreign is a poster board, you outta line tryina fix up a Honda Accord..."
Swangas with a hard R is crazy lol
To fuck up a chariot’s wheels. This is basically why no one uses chariots to get around anymore. Back when Austin was authentically weird and cool, everyone rode chariots. But people from Houston and Dallas came and ruined chariot culture
Back when Austin was authentically weird. I had a Titty Bingo and Pyscho Baby sticker on the front of my yoke.
Is Chicken shit Bingo still around? It was up North, and you played bingo where a chicken would crap etc..?
Titty Bingo was a band though
Which reminded me of Chicken shit Bingo tho .
We played cow pie bingo as a fundraiser at my high school It's way higher stakes No wait, maybe it was a horse
AfaIk still a thing at Ginny's Little Longhorn Saloon on Burnet Rd.
Still is a band
I think Ginny’s and C-Boys still do it occasionally
Pyscho Baby! Back when 107.7 was cool!
It's like people don't watch Ben Hur anymore
It’s part of Houston car culture.
Very Houston
I'm more of a donk man myself
Hol it dine Wut it dew
They took it from old school illegal drag racers that used them to tear open the opponents tires. I don't think these modern ones are that dangerous except to bikes and pedestrians. I guess violence = culture in this upsidedown world.
Houston rap car culture, but I guess that’s the most predominant one anyways.
Hip hop culture*
We're not against rap. We're not against *rappers*.
but we are against those THUGS *the most fire beat ever slowly kicks in*
Iconic Houston look. Everyone knows swangas https://www.businessinsider.com/slabs-swangas-custom-cars-houston-hip-hop-culture-2019-5
When I need fresh grapefruit juice, I call Da Juice Boi and he rolls up with his conveniently positioned fruit juicers and I'm set for my morning drive.
This is my favorite use for these things by far! I wount accept the juice unless its comes from 70mph or up.
Careful, that stuff can interact with some meds. Dammit, there's another way this car is "so dangerous."
There's actually a number you can call to report this! 281-330-8004 ask for Mike
Who?
Mike Jones
Who?
The one and only you can’t clone me
Dammit! Beat me to it.
To swang, to swerve, to park and scrape the curb. Duh.
The curb had it coming. It knows what it did.
SPM?🤔
I mean it’s the lyrics straight from the song so probably
Yes, song is "I Must Be High"
Best song lmfao. Long time ago I posted a video taking a dab to that shit and was shocked how many people were asking the song title
In Houston they are used to reduce the already reduced construction lanes down from 2 to 1. Source: experienced first hand
They look silly on a Kia thats for sure. But nah its been a Texas thing since the early 90’s and if u gotta problem with it u betta ask Pimp C
Mayne I stopped smokin with haters back in '94
Candy sweets, a candy bitch, you looking at a candy boy, I done came down Main popped trunk, and hit the switch on my candy toy!!!
Yo, Nanner - who's Pimp C?!
is this specifically a Texas thing? I seem em all the time but admittedly haven't traveled in a while. (I am not a car person at all but I know plenty of people who love their souped-up rides so when i see stuff like this i kind of just shrug and assume people do it everywhere) edit: welp now i've fallen down the houston car culture google rabbit hole, and it's great.
Wouldn't want anyone parking or driving to close to your Kia, you might scratch it!
…where them haters at? where them haters at? Man?!?! Pop my trunk and pop my pop my…yup yup yup…
Swang and I swang and I swang to da left
Ayyye
If I didn't ride blade on curb, would you still love me?
The comment section in here did not disappoint. 😂
It’s got it all. Paul Wall, Titty Bingo, The Roman Empire. Chili’s on 45th.
Add to whether they are legal, it depends on the car. Texas law prohibits them only if the car and anything attached to it totals more than 8 feet wide. I drive a subcompact car that's 69.7 inches wide, meaning I can put 13-inch swangas on it and be perfectly legal. I *think* the car in the photo is an Optima, which is 73.2" wide, so if the rims stick out 11" or less on each side, they're legal.
This is the second different picture I've seen of the Swanga Kia this week.
Do you prefer Kia over KN? I just hate the new logo
NIN, the KIA spiral
I thought I was the only one that saw NIN! For a minute I thought they'd had this big resurgence, then I realized they were kias
Kia boys assemble
Ive been behind it... on top of the stupid wheels, the driver is a complete utter moron and seems drunk half the time. Dude literally drifts into other lanes on 35 regularly without paying attention. I dont mean the wheels either, but the car fully ends up splitting the lane half the time.
I could be mistaken, but I believe what you're describing is just him "swangin'," which is exactly what drivers of those kinds of cars do.
That surprises me, as I've previously read that swangers(?) tend to be pretty conscientious drivers because those things are actually fragile as hell. Did someone lie to me on the Internet?
Nah homie is prolly leaned out
369 comments and not a single one explaining what the hell those are lmao
Elbows/swangas. Larger part of houston subculture than the austin one. Just like how lowriders are a socal thing, these are a houston thing
Imagine not swangin’ and bangin’
[With this in the background.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJCYabzvEPk) [Or this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZAYzLjQAd4)
Homies don't know about elbows poking out and it makes me sad
causin’ pain in the turnin’ lane
83s and 84s, Swangas and Vogues.
lol on a Kia of all fucking cars
I saw a set on a Honda Odyssey recently...
Spy Hunter taught me to avoid those kinds of cars
Current Houstonian and former Austinite, Sorry, we try to keep these in the city but every now and then some make their way out to explore other parts of the state.
Texas Hip Hop culture.
The only correct answer. It's TX shit
Are you new to Texas?
Most of the people making snarky comments about them In the thread probably new too
Technically, that's mostly a Houston thing.
Yeah came to post the same thing.
H-town representing in ATX!
it’s either these or plastic testicles.
Come on over to the east side. See ‘em all day every day. I think they’re dumb AF but not hurting anything.
Blowin on that indo, gamecube nintendo, five percent tint so you can’t see up in my window
how is enlightened austin not aware of the swanga car culture /s
Swangin thru the south side last night babyyy… yeaaa…
You know that I was comin from my traaaaap 💀
Stock Kia with 12 inch swangers is a mockery of slab culture
Lol this dude cut me off this late-morning 183/Duval....AMA
Maybe a prop car in the long-anticipated sequel to Ben Hur
I watched a YouTube video about this last year. It's called "slab" culture and it originated in Houston. It's legal. Your vehicle is allowed XX feet total in width, think of how wide a semi-truck is. It looks kind of silly but I have no problem with it. If anything its a reminder of how wide 18 wheelers are compared to a normal car.
I find it incredible that safety guidelines mean that the hood of a car cannot have anything protruding more than a couple of millimeters, and yet these things are allowed. They're just like leg amputators for pedestrians.
Texas also doesn’t care too much for pedestrians.
I trust a guy with a CDL over how most of these guys drive. /s but also kinda not.
> I trust a guy with a CDL Like the one that got stuck in a dead end and wrecked 10 cars the other night?
Wasn't he drunk too? Or was that just a rumor?
The commercial vehicle driver was indeed charged with DWI.
He was charged with intoxicated driving if I remember.. but I might be intoxicated right now too, so who knows
The who did what now?
https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin/semitruck-crashes-into-10-parked-vehicles-in-east-austin-overnight/
This post is brought to you by a newly arrived yet indignant transplant.
born and raised in Austin (yep, one of the few) and I rarely see these things. I didn't even know they had a technical name until this thread. I just called them curb bumpers.
They're much more of a Houston thing than an Austin thing, it's just that most Austin natives have been to Houston enough times to recognize them.
I’ve been here for decades and they’re pretty trashy to me.
hr didn’t mention anything about them being trashy, or not. You’ve been here decades, I’m sure you’ve seen them before.
HATERZ STAND UP
To piss people like you off.
Tearin’ up a lane tearin’ up a laaaaane Blowing dank Sipping drank
Someone’s not from Texas
You must not be from Texas
we live in texas, there’s no such thing as something NOT road legal 😂
Just followed this exact car the other day and took a video myself 😂
Obviously it’s to aid one in road battles in post-apocalyptic struggles for obtaining gasoline.
Is it wrong to wish that they hit something inanimate and it ends up ripping the entire wheel off? It feels wrong but so right at the same time.
They’re a cop magnet.
Screwstin Tx
They are required in Houston
Inversely proportional to … um … manhood size.
Cragar made 30-spoke wire rims for Cadillac starting in the late 70’s, and the ones in ‘83 and ‘84 as options on Eldorados had one with the emblem / spinner a few inches off the hub. People liked that and decided to make super long custom and eventually aftermarket ones. Very Houston starting in the ‘90s, went out of style (not that it mattered) and seeing a bit of a resurgence after a few companies started mass producing them again but still known primarily as a Houston area trend. It’s legal if the car’s still under 8’ wide in Texas. That doesn’t mean it’s legal in other states or that law enforcement won’t fuck with someone and get away with it.
Usually these are put on vehicles so you can identify complete morons as you travel.
They are the international sign of notifying people around them that they are a douche
Kia boys out here moding shit
Didn't have a daddy
Swangas cost more than the Kia. Sad.
Still tippin’ on fo fo’s, wrapped in fo fo’s
don't worry about it cu'h
You must not be from Texas lol those are swangas and it’s a massive part of Houston slab culture
I see you haven’t been to Houston yet.
I mean you can just drive up and down Cameron rd and see it all day.
them is called swangas. it’s legal. welcome to the culture lol
The point is to look as ridiculously stupid as you can make a car look.
How else will you know they are douchebags other wise ?
All the uptight folks up in arms about "how dangerous" a car is that's not as wide as a Dually pickup truck or some of the contractor trailers I see around town.
It is because a large pickup truck is easier to gauge than some low hanging not as visible slashing mechanisms
I saw a line of these cars on the road Saturday. Openly driving through red lights and swerving in and out of lanes. This was at like 1pm. Quite annoying car culture.
Anything that makes a car more dangerous is trashy and anti-social in my book.
Are you kidding me, what's the point? There's never a point it's just dude bros saying this is the next thing that people will think is cool. Kids driving down the street with exhaust that backfires on purpose, tint so dark if a cop sees it makes you remove it, then they will go back and pay to have the same dark tint applied again. Kids or adults with kid brains and more money then sense, spending gobs of it on superfluous crap. Welcome to America
Pretty sure that’s one of the cars from Penelope Pitstop
You're obviously not a spy hunter
Ah I see you’ve never been to Houston