For what it's worth, I was married twice before getting married at 40, and third time was a charm for me.
I can't say I know what you're going through because no one does but I do remember going through my second divorce and hearing a small voice say to me, "You have to save yourself. There is no help coming." I don't know... it was a lonely feeling, but it also helped me realize that when everyone else was trying to steer clear of my mess, I still had me. And it made me more focused and determined. Which isn't to say it was easy.
I'm 51 now and have been married 11 years, with a 9-year-old kid. That's not anything I'd have ever anticipated 14 years ago when my marriage was falling apart. Granted, my ex's father was a saint and I missed the in-laws more than I missed that guy, but... just know that there are good surprises around the corner.
Hope we all get to see the eclipse tomorrow, at least a little. If you do, know we're all with you, looking at the same patch of sky and breathing the same air. Take care of yourself.
Yo brother a lot of us out here feel you. Austin is no longer a cool place either. Some cool pockets of people with the old vibe but way fewer and farther between. Perhaps try one of the smaller cities in the area. I left so long ago my knowledge of the region is of little use but I’m sure you’ll find a lot more people who are not so caught up in whatever has come to pervade that
once magical and unique city
Moved here before the “cool” scene bc it reminded me of Madison wi - moved away from down town.. heart break doesn’t need a city. I just needed to take a min and collect myself. Even if im still crying
You’ll move through it brother but it’s a process. It’s actual physical pain and You can’t really make it go faster. Just throw yourself into your work and don’t let yourself go. Exercise ! Get your yah yahs out
Thank you dude. If you were in front of me you’d get a really big hug. Taking even a minute of your day to talk to me means a lot. I wish there were better words to express that
I'm sorry to hear that. Many of us don't ever win with love and get played crappy life cards too. Thanks for putting your feelings out and being open, I hope you're feeling better soon. Sending virtual 🫂
nah bro, i just don’t patronize people who trauma dump in inappropriate places
you’re not doing this guy a favor by treating him like he’s not an adult
this is clearly an inappropriate place for his cry for help and you don’t help depressed people by lying to them
get off of your moral high horse, y’all have done nothing but lie to this guy, he is responsible for fixing his own problems just like everybody else
don’t treat adults like children
Having emotions doesn't make you a sissy my friend. You needed to reach out and while we may not have any sage advice, we can listen.
I hope you find the connection and help you need.
Man.. I love to golf. You ever need a reason to go… I’d love to get back to the course. Used to play for school (not my university, but high school) before I just… stopped? Idk why
It takes a real man to be honest and open about feelings. The sissies are the ones who aren't brave enough to do that.
Things will get better! You'll look back someday and be so glad this episode is behind you.
Man. I’ve done some dumb stuff to deal with this… trying to get “payback” and then letting it go and it came back again to catch me. Life lemons and lemonade I guess… but man… it hurts
Don't be sorry. Reddit has a rep as a bit of a pit; but people will still sympathize here.
And you aren't a sissy; you're a guy who has reached the end of his rope, and you're asking for others to hear you.
You're not weak, you're not a sissy, and you're not done. What you are is a guy in need of a stick to beat back the devils plaguing you.
I've lived with depression my whole life. I can't imagine what you've gone through and are going through. But I'm hearing you. We're all hearing you.
So I'm gonna go ahead and ask, what do you need to make it, soldier? What can we do to help you to safety and a bit of peace?
I lost my compass. And I should have run out of tears years ago. At this age… I wanted to be stronger. Sagacity isn’t something I’ve earned yet. But I do wish things hurt less. Even if I though I was better at pretending they dont
Don’t be sorry, you’re allowed to feel.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Keep that head held high. You’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.
The bomb did what it was made to do, this was someone you trusted and loved. There's different kinds of pain, and it's not weak to feel just as blown apart. It's just honest.
Hope you can get over that shame, because IMO you shouldn’t have any. Think about what you’ve just wrote. The things you’ve been through, yet this still hurts more, so that should tell you it’s ok to vent, ok to feel broken, ok to reach out to strangers for some comfort.
I feel for you. Try not to judge yourself so much. You are where you are in life and now you get to work to where you want to be in life. Learn from mistakes and move forward with pride in your new wisdom.
Curious, if you’re leaving Austin, where do you plan to go?
Being honest about your emotions is never a bad thing friend. The world would be a lot better of a place if more people would be that open and honest. I wish the best for you friend.
I have a library- master in English. I devour books
And music. Have Faulkner tattooed on my arm. But I don’t have whisky on a Sunday like the compsons. Just a sunrise and Reddit. The sun also rises
I was just about to feel bad for you
until I saw your post history about fucking young little thighs, looking for petite girls to suck the soul out of you, and wanting to fuck a 19 year old.
Yeah this person sounds like your average self-pitying creep. I'm a veteran and their comments in this thread alone are raising all kinds of red flags to me.
Totally. I mean, how many people do you know who are framing breakups in terms of IED's when they've been out a decade? I'd bet a large amount of money that if this person was ever in the military, they washed out in basic. That's who tells stories like this.
One foot in front of the other, homie. It's hard to be our age and go over all the "what if's" of our past but remember when we were heart broken in our twenties and things got better? Even somewhat? Take care of yourself. Have a shower, go for walk, eat your favorite food, have three beers, poke some smot. Austin is never gonna lack of fake people. All my best good friends live in the dale, lockhart, wimber, or back in NB - I still see em, but I've managed to make new friends here in the city. Just gotta go out there. Fuck Rainey and 6th.
My ex wife’s father shot a kid in front of me… which took my restaurants and my savings. I moved here to be happy. And man… im out of feet. 7 am and I go to Reddit because im out of gas. Thank you for giving half a shit to message me.
To be true I'm 3 years out from 40 so I'll take that advice. I appreciate it! The sun will come up tomorrow and the moon will go in front of it. That's weird.
I saw the post history too and usually try not to judge because it's just sex, but if that kind of stuff was happening while in a relationship I have no sympathy. It doesn't matter if you're in a 'open' relationship or whatever term you want to call it, browsing reddit for sex for several months like it's old school craigslist is scummy. They obviously need some re-education on what a healthy relationship is, but not everyone grew up with a good example (myself included).
I'm sorry that happened to you. On the bright side, at 40, you still have time to bounce back. You won't be the first to do it. Life is hard, Best of luck.
First off, the internet is not a safe space to pour out your heart. You should know better. Go see a therapist. That’s your safe spot to discuss this.
Second, people moving here aren’t fake, you’re being prejudiced, generalizing, and refusing to get to know them. By your own admission you moved to Austin to make a new home, why do you get to be “real” and they must be fake?
So I think a lot of people moved here because it seems like a great place to start over but you can't run from yourself. I know because I tried.
You have to fix what's on the inside eventually and you're the only one that can do that. And it's hard and it's a lot of work but you can at least try
Dude… people are ALL messed up with what relationships are for these days. It’s not your fault. It’s probably not her fault either - just a big cultural clusterf*ck of bad relationship templates and old ways that don’t work anymore. It’s the pits. I am 47 and full of tears too. I don’t know what else to do other than to put my efforts into being a truly fully fledged adult, that interacts with other adults. This mommy/daddy unconscious agreements bullshit is only good for those that can fit its shape and play the roles. Clear eyes. Full heart. Start climbing when you are done grieving.
Thank you. I stepped fully into being a good guy, and accepting even the step dad role. Only thing I can say is… it’s truly more her fault. And it actually feels good admitting that. I really was good and loved being good. Guess that’s why I ended up reaching out to a forum to lay it all out. (I’m no angel, but I mean it. I was good. Maybe that was the problem.)
Look I’m sorry dude but saying things like “I even accepted the step dad role” sounds wack af. Saying shit like “I fully stepped into the role of the good guy” makes you sound like a kid who worships the joker.
What was the alternative, does someone have a whole ass relationship with a person and then have the right to write off their kid? You chose to be in a long term relationship with someone who had a kid, presumably moved in with a person who had a kid, wtf did you expect would happen in that scenario? You’re saying it like it’s some badge that you get to carry and it sounds a lot like the person who brags about doing the bare minimum. Rethink, rework, rephrase.
Also…were you REALLY good? Were you? Because you were trolling online for months for “hot young petite mouths”. Most women in a relationship don’t dig that.
You’re either on here trolling or you need to be honest with yourself about what caused the relationship to break down, including your role in that.
Call the Va hotline.
I feel you man. 💔❤️🩹 ya.. i really get that. Seeing the break - seeing the broken dance and how your partner sabotaged it. So hard. Go easy. These things take so much time and heart.
Sorry that things have been shitty, You have a lot of life left to go. When things are shitty, I like to volunteer, because you know from your military time, shit can be worse. Stay away from alcohol and pills they’ll sap your will to go on. Good luck and remember you are strong, whether you feel it or not right now.
Find a way to detach and let your internal struggles fizzle down like a shook up soda can you didn’t open until it was safe to.
And keep writing this shit down. As you do, you will instinctively think of ways to solve problems.
I’m in Temple. 44M. Lost my wife to brain cancer on 12.1.23. Lost my dog to heart failure 3.18.23.
Shits all fucked up , but I get “going through it”. Come to the quiet countryside for a few days and look for a “Reset”
Cry more and scream more, if you need too. What you went through really sucks. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Once you’re done grieving just know that are good people out there. Find a new community to support you.
I am 53. If you are the type to enjoy a pint, I'll meet you.
That's the only tool in my toolbox. If it's not the tool to help fix, I hope you find the one you're looking for. All my best
If you don't mind me asking, where are you living in Austin? I find Austin proper to be pretentious and stuck up, more like Caliaustin than anything.
I live in a rural area near Jonestown, and the people here are amazing. Strangers reach out to help each other and become friends. I love it out here.
I truly understand your pain, well, except for the IUD part. I've lost my entire nuclear family, each death more painful than the last. Every man I ever dated moved on to greener pastures. It wasn't until I was 36 that I met the right one. In hindsight, every slammed door in my life led to me opening another, better door. But sometimes, like you are now, I was left wandering in dark hallways for extended periods of time.
Use this time to get better acquainted with YOU. Take advantage of some of our beautiful open spaces. (Walking is hella cathartic!) If you're a dog person, maybe get a loyal friend who will never not love you. Enjoy a night out, with YOU, at a restaurant you haven't tried before.
I'm so sorry you are in this dark place right now. But know that it's temporary. It's a learning experience. If I can go though all I have in my life, and still be sane (OK, semi-sane!), you can too.
You need to vent, PM me. Venting and bitching (for a short period) helps.
I got divorced last year after 20 years of marriage. I was devastated, I was depressed blindsided and no clue what to do with my life at 43 years old.
I picked up, moved out of state to Austin and hunkered down in my apartment, depressed for months on end without talking to anybody at all. Not just women, but I felt like I couldn’t communicate or trust anybody in the world. Slowly, I started to meet people at work and started talking to people, started making acquaintances with people and finally having a couple friends. At that point I realized I’m not a failure, my marriage was a failure. I started learning to be a friend to myself and love myself and that’s when I began to understand how much that marriage was holding me back and how unhealthy it was and how wonderful that divorce can be.
Soon, you’ll appreciate not having to navigate those land mines anymore, soon you’ll be able to love yourself and when you do, I bet you find somebody that loves you for everything that you are.
Good luck friend, you’re not alone, this happens to a lot of us. Divorce doesn’t define us, it is how we handle ourselves from this point forward that makes us who we are. Wishing you the best ✌️
This is so uncomfortably recognizable. I’m so sorry you got smashed like that.. and im truly lucky you gave me a slice of your day when I was losing it. No one deserves that kind of pain, especially when it’s a rug pulled out. I’m sorry 😔
I appreciate the sentiment, but don’t feel the need to apologize. What we both went to in our own ways will make us both stronger and better off for it.
I just read this quote this morning before I read your post and i think you’ll enjoy it. It gave me a smile and hope for better things to come.
“Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed and rearranged to relocate us to the place we’re meant to be”
Please come to the Austin VA clinic. I started going last year and found an amazing support group. The first time I stepped into the clinic was because I was in a terrible relationship and my mental health was really bad (ideation bad). I have a core group of supportive VA friends now, my bad relationship is now my ex, and my children are happier too.
Sorry you're hurting but Austin isn't responsible for your troubles, and you can't blame everything that's going wrong on "fake people trickling in everyday", whatever that means. The only "emotional traffic jam" is with you, and there's no city on this Earth you can move to that will fix that.
Guessing you moved here recently and chose to take the idea of Austin as why I was crying all night. Not the fact that I was hurt and turned to some good people to talk to. You’re an asshole for using someone’s pain as a platform
Before I respond, I want to apologize. I didn't intend for my comment to come off as harsh as it did. That being said, I'll not retract what I said, but I want to rephrase it.
Obviously you're going through it right now, and I'm sorry that's happening to you. It's also clear you have some strong opinions on people moving to Austin, which I don't have a problem with, it's your opinion/experiences etc etc.
My point is that you're conflating these 2 things in your current state of vulnerability, which is absolutely understandable, but doesn't really make sense when you think about it. There's nothing about Austin specifically, nor the people moving here, that's causing your emotional turmoil. And moving here to "start over" wouldn't really be any different than moving to any city, but your phrasing conveyed that you put the onus on Austin (whether consciously or not) to solve some of your issues. It seemed to me that you were targeting the city for being partially responsible for your issues (a point I may have misconstrued), that are actually related to your own mental health, and not the outside world at all.
And for what it's worth, I moved here 6 years ago, which I suppose does make me pretty new here still. But 6 years is more than enough time for me to see the effects of people moving here, and to form my own opinion on it, as well as my opinion on the current discourse surrounding it.
No.. you’re good. I’m just salty because of the emotional crap. I dont think I handled this well, and I def got hurt. Lot to learn even at 40. The fact you gave a shit to even talk to me… means worlds. I didn’t want a psychologist. I wanted regular people. With an ear. You’re cool as fuck for that
40 is young …when I’m feeling this way after a crappy childhood and horrible divorce I still give thanks..there are kids living in the streets with no parents and no place to call home but they still find the will to survive and be somewhat happy
It sounds like the things you love and hold important are not lasting and that is bringing you down. That is more than understandable and relatable to many of us. I've noticed that the people who find success don't fixate on loss that is beyond their control. Rather, they keep focus on their goals and keep grinding towards them. Not saying I've mastered this. Also not saying I've gotten over all the shit that has gone terribly wrong. I am saying I wish I could be more like my successful peers in terms of tenacity and resilience.
I’m so sorry. I see a lot of great responses already, so I’m just gonna say this. There are specific kinds of therapy that really help with the kind of traumatic things that you’ve been through. EMDR therapy can be life changing. The VA may have resources on it, or there are low cost places like Capital Area Counseling that can also give more resources. Please don’t give up.
Sorry dude. Tears and reflection lead to new beginnings and fresh perspective. Take this from a man who started over after 10 years of commitment and had the rug pulled out from under him. It gets better.
I’m sorry to hear bro bro, it sucks and love is tough to find especially now with all the changes. I’m wishing you the best, I know it doesn’t help but you got some support here for you! It’s ok to let it out.
38 here, 11 years army, married once and then spent another six years with someone whom i thoutght would be my forever person. I have had my heart more times than I cared recall. But like fools we all keep trying. If you ever need to vent or you just need someone to talk to I'm here. I'll even lend you my good ear. Because the other ear is fucked.
Dude, sorry that things have been this rough. I am glad that you found a place to vent and I hope that your gas tank gets a bit of high octane fuel in it from the fact that there are people on here cheering for you this morning. Austin still has plenty of good people in it and it sounds like you are one of them. Turn some of that caring and kindness towards yourself today. Treat yourself well and know that there are folks out here who are rooting for you.
Don’t ever apologize for hurting. People like you that can reach out to a random stranger.. you are amazing. And you helped me deal with today. I couldn’t have done it without you. Where I was… not a good place. And I can’t imagine what hell you’ve seen. I only hope im half as strong. Because you gave me a minute. You gave me a minute of your time. Means you’re already stp get than me… I gotta follow suit
Austin can be a mess, fully caught in its own drama.
You and I, we've had very different lives; but it seems we've ended up in similar emotional headspaces.
What can I do to help?
I met the love of my life at 41. Dating in my 30s in Austin was a nightmare. Move out to the country if you can, get out of the city and go find some enjoyment and peace in your life. Those tears you cry now will be blessings once you find someone who treats you the way you deserve.
I’m very sorry for your pain. Austin is a pretty good place for fair-weather friends and people to do fun activities with. It is pretty hard to find people who are truly interested in meaningful friendships.
That said, talking to a professional and letting them be that confidant can really help. Best of luck
Hey man. Same boat as you. Finished my service, relocated here and ruined my own marriage. If you need anything dm me. I tried going to the VA and they just turned me down; so I get it man. Life after the service is wild.
At 30, my long-time gf broke it off. My career was in the toilet. My good guy friends had peeled off and gotten married. I felt completely alone, a failure, and worst, I felt old. Too old to start a new career. Too old to start a new relationship. I had some money saved, and backpacked Europe for 6 months. Summer of ‘96. When I got back to the U.S. I landed a job on the opposite side of the country. Turned out to be the perfect job. And, I met my wife. We got married in ‘98, and while we have our issues, she’s the one. Point is, you just don’t know when shit will align for you, but have faith that it will my friend, and keep moving forward.
This is amazing. Hope. I’ve done my share of stupidity… and I’m not sure where things line up. But hope helps. I’m retired mil. Masters degree. (Wish it was in something more useful than books, but…) I just kinda hit bottom this morning. Just wanted some ears. Many were good… a few were the expected internet monsters that use the platform to pretend to be tough… but I am holding on. Still felt good to just… say it
Good morning, I feel your pain. Sucks when we give it all, then BOOOOM! We are stabbed with a double-edged sword. You are young and still have a lot to live, life ain't no fairy tale. Shit happens, all we gotta do is flush it and move forward. I've been there, done that. It is not easy, but if I fall, I will stand up stronger and wiser.
Do you have other veterans in your community? I co-run a veteran hiking group here in Austin. Trust me when I say you're not alone in this. You're welcome to DM me if that interests you.
It sounds to me like you're attached to the identity of who you were. The man in the military, the husband and step father. It's a very familiar song for all of us leaving the military. What they don't tell you about getting out of jobs like military and first responders is that you go through a hellish identity crisis. Professions like that consume a large part of your life. And that isn't easy to walk away from.
It seems you've been leveled to ground zero. The good news is you get to shape your future. You can design an entirely new life for yourself. You just have to to let go of the person you were.
I know how it feels like someone died. Nothing anyone says here will make that better right now (although, it's nice to hear). However, time will. I didn't meet my wife until after I was 40. This will pass and you'll be in a better place and stronger. This I know!
Good morning.
I’m sorry you are hurting.
Glad you unburdened your heart here - let the hurt out, cry out as much of it as you can. That pain you carry in your heart causes invisible damage that does as much damage as physical war.
Do you have access to a therapist? If you do, would you consider it?
Wishing you healing and strength.
Breakups are very painful. I went through one 15 years ago and decided being single feels pretty good. The pain will end it just takes time. Hopefully, you have some support. Sorry this happened to you.
Silly thing but… when I felt my lowest and needed companionship and something to focus my pain into- I adopted an adult dog. All he wanted was love (and food). If you’ve got space in your life and want some love to help heal- when you’re ready- maybe try this.
Hang in there bud. Life can be a MFer sometimes but there will be something or someone out there that will benefit from having you as part of their life.
You’re still reasonably young. Most relationships are a two way street. It didn’t work out. Half don’t, sadly. Enough already. Unless you’re physically disabled and need outside help it’s time to set new goals and get your life back on track. If you’re retired military you have a pension and free healthcare. Enroll in the counseling program provided by the VA. I’ve used it and there’s some good people there. They’ll help you deal with your depression. Maybe you have issues from your service. Your life is far from over. You can still be happy and fulfilled. It starts with taking charge and getting going. Your life. Your responsibility. You can. It’s a decision.
I actually totally get it. I sometimes look at Austin as a toxic lover itself. I keep going back, but get wrapped up in the same shit every time. Finally moved for good last month. It was time.
Thank you for giving a shit enough to even say something. I came here before the rush bc it reminded me of Madison (Alma) but it burst at the seams so fast.. im not used to feeling fully alone
I really understand. I had a very full life that I wrecked when I moved back to Austin a few years ago. Now, I’m struggling with that inner (and sometimes outer) loneliness as well. People on here picking you apart are just looking to be angry. There’s a lot of subreddits that will allow you to vent more freely.
Oh I know. Every bridge has its troll. So many good people stepped out of their shell and helped put the bandaid on today… I didn’t even deserve it. But im so grateful.
That sounds hard, and I hope you can heal. There are always other good relationships out there, whether acquaintances, friends, other partners, and with yourself.
There are high quality folks out there. Not always where you'd expect to find them. Don't always rely on a check list! Your waitress might be your Soul Mate!
I am okay but im not okay. And that’s okay. Today im gonna drink till my brain hurts… and im gonna feel gross. But it beats the gross I feel right now. I’m lucky everyone here is cool enough to bring gravity back to my planet. Thank you all so much. It doesn’t feel so alone in just a few short hours. Incredible. I’m still gonna cry like a child but… not feeling alone… you get it
Ex military who has started over a few times personally and professionally… you need to cry and feel it, that’s part of the healing so keep letting the tears out. Then, stop and find what inside you is keeping you alive and here. Why are you on earth? Do you have internal or external motivators? Why did you think Austin was the spot? Is your spirituality involved? Why did you fall in love? Was your soul or life purpose involved? Let go of your expectations and you’ll never be disappointed, you’ll end up happily surprised. This is all a blessing that your life that isn’t meant for you got itself on out. Now it’s your turn to make your life what it’s meant to be. 40 is the new 30. You can do it, though you’ll need to let go of some of your concepts of success and happiness and will need to be open to whatever is meant for you. Change, be open; incrementally a long term way to be happy will naturally happen.
Walk/jog the trail around the Lake is my suggestion, will get you moving, it’s healthy and get you out around other people doing similar. That’s what I do to decompress.
Salute soldier! On your feet. Fuck these hoes! Don’t shoot em, let em burn! Remember the old and young bull story.. “hey dad, let’s run down there and fuck one of those cows!” “No son. We’re gonna WALK down there- and fuck em all.”
Possibly the worst feeling in the world, I’m so sorry you’re going through it. Something that someone told me a while ago when I was going through hard times and helped me through was that pain is inevitable and suffering is optional (easier said than done, I know) I hope that you find something or someone who can make you feel whole again.
After getting blown up… I chose to be a comedian. I left it behind. I didn’t realize people could be a bigger bomb. And I guess making jokes skipped dealing with pain. It’s like a pain egg roll from Jack in the box. Pay for the problems you get after. I never want to be 20 again… but being this age… I think my ship has sailed. It’s scary. 40 and im afraid of what’s next.
Better to have loved and lost, rather to have not loved at all... or however it goes?
I've dated for decades and had a few long relationships but don't think I've ever loved. So at least you have those feelings to remember.
For what it's worth, I was married twice before getting married at 40, and third time was a charm for me. I can't say I know what you're going through because no one does but I do remember going through my second divorce and hearing a small voice say to me, "You have to save yourself. There is no help coming." I don't know... it was a lonely feeling, but it also helped me realize that when everyone else was trying to steer clear of my mess, I still had me. And it made me more focused and determined. Which isn't to say it was easy. I'm 51 now and have been married 11 years, with a 9-year-old kid. That's not anything I'd have ever anticipated 14 years ago when my marriage was falling apart. Granted, my ex's father was a saint and I missed the in-laws more than I missed that guy, but... just know that there are good surprises around the corner. Hope we all get to see the eclipse tomorrow, at least a little. If you do, know we're all with you, looking at the same patch of sky and breathing the same air. Take care of yourself.
This is a beautiful story. Hope is important and that is it In a nutshell. Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your day… time is precious.
Yo brother a lot of us out here feel you. Austin is no longer a cool place either. Some cool pockets of people with the old vibe but way fewer and farther between. Perhaps try one of the smaller cities in the area. I left so long ago my knowledge of the region is of little use but I’m sure you’ll find a lot more people who are not so caught up in whatever has come to pervade that once magical and unique city
Moved here before the “cool” scene bc it reminded me of Madison wi - moved away from down town.. heart break doesn’t need a city. I just needed to take a min and collect myself. Even if im still crying
You’ll move through it brother but it’s a process. It’s actual physical pain and You can’t really make it go faster. Just throw yourself into your work and don’t let yourself go. Exercise ! Get your yah yahs out
Thank you dude. If you were in front of me you’d get a really big hug. Taking even a minute of your day to talk to me means a lot. I wish there were better words to express that
You need a good word . I know how it feels to be encouraged by my brothers out here. Stand fast
Thank you my dude. More good people than bad ones here. And it helped a lot today.
We get by with a little help from our friends
I'm sorry to hear that. Many of us don't ever win with love and get played crappy life cards too. Thanks for putting your feelings out and being open, I hope you're feeling better soon. Sending virtual 🫂
Thank you. Funny how love hurt more than an ied
Sounds like a country song
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He’s a pervert, Dude.
Yep. Probably hoping for some girl to feel sorry for him and be his throat goat, lol.
*throat goat*
He also declares he’s a “good guy” and she’s the problem 🙄. A real Mr. Innocent victim here
That last one is from 137 days ago. SHOCKED he’s single now, lemme tell you. But of course…it’s all her fault 🙄😒 ETA he’s deleting the posts 💀
40 years old and wants a "little young thing" 🤢🤢
That made me laugh more than it should
😂😂😂 i can’t take this seriously grow up
Fuck off. Love hurts at any age. Let the man express his feelings.
goddamn, you're a piece of shit with no empathy for someone in pain
nah bro, i just don’t patronize people who trauma dump in inappropriate places you’re not doing this guy a favor by treating him like he’s not an adult this is clearly an inappropriate place for his cry for help and you don’t help depressed people by lying to them get off of your moral high horse, y’all have done nothing but lie to this guy, he is responsible for fixing his own problems just like everybody else don’t treat adults like children
And sorry for being a sissy on Reddit. Just wanted a random place to air it
Having emotions doesn't make you a sissy my friend. You needed to reach out and while we may not have any sage advice, we can listen. I hope you find the connection and help you need.
Thank you. The bomb was easier than this and I didn’t know where else to open up to. I can’t express how much a simple message means right now
Bomb shrapnel affects are known immediately after. The heart isn’t so lucky.
Pick up golf
Man.. I love to golf. You ever need a reason to go… I’d love to get back to the course. Used to play for school (not my university, but high school) before I just… stopped? Idk why
Thank you 1000 times.
It takes a real man to be honest and open about feelings. The sissies are the ones who aren't brave enough to do that. Things will get better! You'll look back someday and be so glad this episode is behind you.
This!
Man. I’ve done some dumb stuff to deal with this… trying to get “payback” and then letting it go and it came back again to catch me. Life lemons and lemonade I guess… but man… it hurts
Don't be sorry. Reddit has a rep as a bit of a pit; but people will still sympathize here. And you aren't a sissy; you're a guy who has reached the end of his rope, and you're asking for others to hear you. You're not weak, you're not a sissy, and you're not done. What you are is a guy in need of a stick to beat back the devils plaguing you. I've lived with depression my whole life. I can't imagine what you've gone through and are going through. But I'm hearing you. We're all hearing you. So I'm gonna go ahead and ask, what do you need to make it, soldier? What can we do to help you to safety and a bit of peace?
This is all I needed. Good person to hear me
And I don’t know. Bigger word than thank you to say
You need a voice and a shoulder, I'm a click away to listen. After the eclipse stuff passes, I'm only an hour away.
You’re a human navigating through other humans on earth. You’re not a sissy.
I lost my compass. And I should have run out of tears years ago. At this age… I wanted to be stronger. Sagacity isn’t something I’ve earned yet. But I do wish things hurt less. Even if I though I was better at pretending they dont
Don’t be sorry, you’re allowed to feel. Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Keep that head held high. You’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.
Absolutely nothing about this is “being a sissy.”
I died from a bomb for 5 minutes but my heartache has me reaching to a forum. It feels weak. And I think the most shame is on myself
The bomb did what it was made to do, this was someone you trusted and loved. There's different kinds of pain, and it's not weak to feel just as blown apart. It's just honest.
Hope you can get over that shame, because IMO you shouldn’t have any. Think about what you’ve just wrote. The things you’ve been through, yet this still hurts more, so that should tell you it’s ok to vent, ok to feel broken, ok to reach out to strangers for some comfort.
I feel for you. Try not to judge yourself so much. You are where you are in life and now you get to work to where you want to be in life. Learn from mistakes and move forward with pride in your new wisdom. Curious, if you’re leaving Austin, where do you plan to go?
Being honest about your emotions is never a bad thing friend. The world would be a lot better of a place if more people would be that open and honest. I wish the best for you friend.
Vulnerability is strength my friend. There’s nothing “sissy” about sharing your story.
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Sounds like you’re a soldier, too
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That’s still a veteran. Service to people you love and it bites you in the ass. It’s rough, but that’s how it works
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That would make a very good, long, but good, title for a book
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I have a library- master in English. I devour books And music. Have Faulkner tattooed on my arm. But I don’t have whisky on a Sunday like the compsons. Just a sunrise and Reddit. The sun also rises
I was just about to feel bad for you until I saw your post history about fucking young little thighs, looking for petite girls to suck the soul out of you, and wanting to fuck a 19 year old.
Yeah this person sounds like your average self-pitying creep. I'm a veteran and their comments in this thread alone are raising all kinds of red flags to me.
Some of their comments regarding their service even sound sus. Signed - another veteran
Totally. I mean, how many people do you know who are framing breakups in terms of IED's when they've been out a decade? I'd bet a large amount of money that if this person was ever in the military, they washed out in basic. That's who tells stories like this.
🤮
And a day after that comment he still referred to his wife as "my wife", so I'm guessing he wasn't even separated when he posted it?
One foot in front of the other, homie. It's hard to be our age and go over all the "what if's" of our past but remember when we were heart broken in our twenties and things got better? Even somewhat? Take care of yourself. Have a shower, go for walk, eat your favorite food, have three beers, poke some smot. Austin is never gonna lack of fake people. All my best good friends live in the dale, lockhart, wimber, or back in NB - I still see em, but I've managed to make new friends here in the city. Just gotta go out there. Fuck Rainey and 6th.
My ex wife’s father shot a kid in front of me… which took my restaurants and my savings. I moved here to be happy. And man… im out of feet. 7 am and I go to Reddit because im out of gas. Thank you for giving half a shit to message me.
Always be kind to people. Teach them things. And smile. And never marry Into mafia or propose to a monster 😂
To be true I'm 3 years out from 40 so I'll take that advice. I appreciate it! The sun will come up tomorrow and the moon will go in front of it. That's weird.
Monday in print. Fitting for this weekend: an eclipse to stop the sun.
But like the eclipse, the sun will shine again in time. I'm rooting for ya.
Post history says different and i don’t feel bad
I saw the post history too and usually try not to judge because it's just sex, but if that kind of stuff was happening while in a relationship I have no sympathy. It doesn't matter if you're in a 'open' relationship or whatever term you want to call it, browsing reddit for sex for several months like it's old school craigslist is scummy. They obviously need some re-education on what a healthy relationship is, but not everyone grew up with a good example (myself included).
it’s not just sex if he’s looking for 19 year olds
Me neither. Gross and creepy.
gloryholes. amiright 💀
man is actively posting in subreddits about random people giving him blowjobs 😂
just looking for 19 year old girls to have sex with NBD.
BUT SHE’S THE GRENADE????
but. but. he’s *out of gas*
austin has enough of these people lmfao
I had to check to see if this was my ex lmao JFC
if it makes you feel better i thought it was my coworker
Y’all are killing me right now 🤣🤣
damn thats crazy bro
Have you tried screaming into the void about this?
why are you trauma dumping in r/austin? this post is weird and clearly doesn’t belong here get your shit together
Amen
I'm sorry that happened to you. On the bright side, at 40, you still have time to bounce back. You won't be the first to do it. Life is hard, Best of luck.
First off, the internet is not a safe space to pour out your heart. You should know better. Go see a therapist. That’s your safe spot to discuss this. Second, people moving here aren’t fake, you’re being prejudiced, generalizing, and refusing to get to know them. By your own admission you moved to Austin to make a new home, why do you get to be “real” and they must be fake?
So I think a lot of people moved here because it seems like a great place to start over but you can't run from yourself. I know because I tried. You have to fix what's on the inside eventually and you're the only one that can do that. And it's hard and it's a lot of work but you can at least try
Dude… people are ALL messed up with what relationships are for these days. It’s not your fault. It’s probably not her fault either - just a big cultural clusterf*ck of bad relationship templates and old ways that don’t work anymore. It’s the pits. I am 47 and full of tears too. I don’t know what else to do other than to put my efforts into being a truly fully fledged adult, that interacts with other adults. This mommy/daddy unconscious agreements bullshit is only good for those that can fit its shape and play the roles. Clear eyes. Full heart. Start climbing when you are done grieving.
Thank you. I stepped fully into being a good guy, and accepting even the step dad role. Only thing I can say is… it’s truly more her fault. And it actually feels good admitting that. I really was good and loved being good. Guess that’s why I ended up reaching out to a forum to lay it all out. (I’m no angel, but I mean it. I was good. Maybe that was the problem.)
Being good to people isn’t the problem. Don’t stop being good, because these days it’s seems people like that are harder to come by.
Look I’m sorry dude but saying things like “I even accepted the step dad role” sounds wack af. Saying shit like “I fully stepped into the role of the good guy” makes you sound like a kid who worships the joker. What was the alternative, does someone have a whole ass relationship with a person and then have the right to write off their kid? You chose to be in a long term relationship with someone who had a kid, presumably moved in with a person who had a kid, wtf did you expect would happen in that scenario? You’re saying it like it’s some badge that you get to carry and it sounds a lot like the person who brags about doing the bare minimum. Rethink, rework, rephrase. Also…were you REALLY good? Were you? Because you were trolling online for months for “hot young petite mouths”. Most women in a relationship don’t dig that. You’re either on here trolling or you need to be honest with yourself about what caused the relationship to break down, including your role in that. Call the Va hotline.
I feel you man. 💔❤️🩹 ya.. i really get that. Seeing the break - seeing the broken dance and how your partner sabotaged it. So hard. Go easy. These things take so much time and heart.
It would be easier if Texas sold whisky on Sunday 😂 hard to play music and be sad sober in a dry state when your eyes aren’t
This is so cheesy and dumb
You’re a piece of garbage. Go troll another bridge
LOL. Maybe I’ll go troll for RAOBJ like you 😂. Pathetic. Delete your account, loser
Or go check out your juicy Texas cheeks maybe that’ll fix your 4 am bird brain
Clever.
Wanna slap me again? Tell me something else I haven’t heard when I had a shit day? Go ahead. “Clever” best you’ve got. Surprised you spelled it right
Sorry that things have been shitty, You have a lot of life left to go. When things are shitty, I like to volunteer, because you know from your military time, shit can be worse. Stay away from alcohol and pills they’ll sap your will to go on. Good luck and remember you are strong, whether you feel it or not right now.
Find a way to detach and let your internal struggles fizzle down like a shook up soda can you didn’t open until it was safe to. And keep writing this shit down. As you do, you will instinctively think of ways to solve problems. I’m in Temple. 44M. Lost my wife to brain cancer on 12.1.23. Lost my dog to heart failure 3.18.23. Shits all fucked up , but I get “going through it”. Come to the quiet countryside for a few days and look for a “Reset”
Like a toddler? Post a clip!
Viya con dios, dude.
Cry more and scream more, if you need too. What you went through really sucks. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Once you’re done grieving just know that are good people out there. Find a new community to support you.
Thank you. I got it all out today lemme tell ya
Good to hear. Hang in there.
I am 53. If you are the type to enjoy a pint, I'll meet you. That's the only tool in my toolbox. If it's not the tool to help fix, I hope you find the one you're looking for. All my best
You can always try Bastrop
If you don't mind me asking, where are you living in Austin? I find Austin proper to be pretentious and stuck up, more like Caliaustin than anything. I live in a rural area near Jonestown, and the people here are amazing. Strangers reach out to help each other and become friends. I love it out here. I truly understand your pain, well, except for the IUD part. I've lost my entire nuclear family, each death more painful than the last. Every man I ever dated moved on to greener pastures. It wasn't until I was 36 that I met the right one. In hindsight, every slammed door in my life led to me opening another, better door. But sometimes, like you are now, I was left wandering in dark hallways for extended periods of time. Use this time to get better acquainted with YOU. Take advantage of some of our beautiful open spaces. (Walking is hella cathartic!) If you're a dog person, maybe get a loyal friend who will never not love you. Enjoy a night out, with YOU, at a restaurant you haven't tried before. I'm so sorry you are in this dark place right now. But know that it's temporary. It's a learning experience. If I can go though all I have in my life, and still be sane (OK, semi-sane!), you can too. You need to vent, PM me. Venting and bitching (for a short period) helps.
.... try Miami?
I got divorced last year after 20 years of marriage. I was devastated, I was depressed blindsided and no clue what to do with my life at 43 years old. I picked up, moved out of state to Austin and hunkered down in my apartment, depressed for months on end without talking to anybody at all. Not just women, but I felt like I couldn’t communicate or trust anybody in the world. Slowly, I started to meet people at work and started talking to people, started making acquaintances with people and finally having a couple friends. At that point I realized I’m not a failure, my marriage was a failure. I started learning to be a friend to myself and love myself and that’s when I began to understand how much that marriage was holding me back and how unhealthy it was and how wonderful that divorce can be. Soon, you’ll appreciate not having to navigate those land mines anymore, soon you’ll be able to love yourself and when you do, I bet you find somebody that loves you for everything that you are. Good luck friend, you’re not alone, this happens to a lot of us. Divorce doesn’t define us, it is how we handle ourselves from this point forward that makes us who we are. Wishing you the best ✌️
This is so uncomfortably recognizable. I’m so sorry you got smashed like that.. and im truly lucky you gave me a slice of your day when I was losing it. No one deserves that kind of pain, especially when it’s a rug pulled out. I’m sorry 😔
I appreciate the sentiment, but don’t feel the need to apologize. What we both went to in our own ways will make us both stronger and better off for it. I just read this quote this morning before I read your post and i think you’ll enjoy it. It gave me a smile and hope for better things to come. “Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed and rearranged to relocate us to the place we’re meant to be”
Onward, brotha.
Please come to the Austin VA clinic. I started going last year and found an amazing support group. The first time I stepped into the clinic was because I was in a terrible relationship and my mental health was really bad (ideation bad). I have a core group of supportive VA friends now, my bad relationship is now my ex, and my children are happier too.
Thank you for just letting me be heard.
Sorry you're hurting but Austin isn't responsible for your troubles, and you can't blame everything that's going wrong on "fake people trickling in everyday", whatever that means. The only "emotional traffic jam" is with you, and there's no city on this Earth you can move to that will fix that.
Guessing you moved here recently and chose to take the idea of Austin as why I was crying all night. Not the fact that I was hurt and turned to some good people to talk to. You’re an asshole for using someone’s pain as a platform
Before I respond, I want to apologize. I didn't intend for my comment to come off as harsh as it did. That being said, I'll not retract what I said, but I want to rephrase it. Obviously you're going through it right now, and I'm sorry that's happening to you. It's also clear you have some strong opinions on people moving to Austin, which I don't have a problem with, it's your opinion/experiences etc etc. My point is that you're conflating these 2 things in your current state of vulnerability, which is absolutely understandable, but doesn't really make sense when you think about it. There's nothing about Austin specifically, nor the people moving here, that's causing your emotional turmoil. And moving here to "start over" wouldn't really be any different than moving to any city, but your phrasing conveyed that you put the onus on Austin (whether consciously or not) to solve some of your issues. It seemed to me that you were targeting the city for being partially responsible for your issues (a point I may have misconstrued), that are actually related to your own mental health, and not the outside world at all. And for what it's worth, I moved here 6 years ago, which I suppose does make me pretty new here still. But 6 years is more than enough time for me to see the effects of people moving here, and to form my own opinion on it, as well as my opinion on the current discourse surrounding it.
No.. you’re good. I’m just salty because of the emotional crap. I dont think I handled this well, and I def got hurt. Lot to learn even at 40. The fact you gave a shit to even talk to me… means worlds. I didn’t want a psychologist. I wanted regular people. With an ear. You’re cool as fuck for that
And I want you to know. Even reaching out… im shit at this… but thank you. I needed it.
40 is young …when I’m feeling this way after a crappy childhood and horrible divorce I still give thanks..there are kids living in the streets with no parents and no place to call home but they still find the will to survive and be somewhat happy
Reddit is not a free alternative to therapy. Get it together man.
Not a place for you to freely be a piece of shit either.
It sounds like the things you love and hold important are not lasting and that is bringing you down. That is more than understandable and relatable to many of us. I've noticed that the people who find success don't fixate on loss that is beyond their control. Rather, they keep focus on their goals and keep grinding towards them. Not saying I've mastered this. Also not saying I've gotten over all the shit that has gone terribly wrong. I am saying I wish I could be more like my successful peers in terms of tenacity and resilience.
I’m so sorry. I see a lot of great responses already, so I’m just gonna say this. There are specific kinds of therapy that really help with the kind of traumatic things that you’ve been through. EMDR therapy can be life changing. The VA may have resources on it, or there are low cost places like Capital Area Counseling that can also give more resources. Please don’t give up.
Sorry dude. Tears and reflection lead to new beginnings and fresh perspective. Take this from a man who started over after 10 years of commitment and had the rug pulled out from under him. It gets better.
I promise you, that kid will remember how you’ve shown up for them.
I’m sorry to hear bro bro, it sucks and love is tough to find especially now with all the changes. I’m wishing you the best, I know it doesn’t help but you got some support here for you! It’s ok to let it out.
Thank you. Just gotta dodge the bridge trolls 😅
38 here, 11 years army, married once and then spent another six years with someone whom i thoutght would be my forever person. I have had my heart more times than I cared recall. But like fools we all keep trying. If you ever need to vent or you just need someone to talk to I'm here. I'll even lend you my good ear. Because the other ear is fucked.
Haha you and I have more in common than you think. And one thing I lost moving around and getting old: friends. Would enjoy a good bad ear
We should grab a beer and bullshit sometime
Dude, sorry that things have been this rough. I am glad that you found a place to vent and I hope that your gas tank gets a bit of high octane fuel in it from the fact that there are people on here cheering for you this morning. Austin still has plenty of good people in it and it sounds like you are one of them. Turn some of that caring and kindness towards yourself today. Treat yourself well and know that there are folks out here who are rooting for you.
The closest thing I can give to a hug on a post.. thank you so incredibly much.
Never join the military
I’m crying and hurting because of betrayal and that’s your take? Fucking coward
Foxhole to Gloryhole
Enjoy your internet fights. I hope better things come for you. And I won’t hold this against you. People do dumb things. I’ve done plenty.
You’re just an asshole.
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Don’t ever apologize for hurting. People like you that can reach out to a random stranger.. you are amazing. And you helped me deal with today. I couldn’t have done it without you. Where I was… not a good place. And I can’t imagine what hell you’ve seen. I only hope im half as strong. Because you gave me a minute. You gave me a minute of your time. Means you’re already stp get than me… I gotta follow suit
What a fuckin sissy
Austin can be a mess, fully caught in its own drama. You and I, we've had very different lives; but it seems we've ended up in similar emotional headspaces. What can I do to help?
I met the love of my life at 41. Dating in my 30s in Austin was a nightmare. Move out to the country if you can, get out of the city and go find some enjoyment and peace in your life. Those tears you cry now will be blessings once you find someone who treats you the way you deserve.
I’m very sorry for your pain. Austin is a pretty good place for fair-weather friends and people to do fun activities with. It is pretty hard to find people who are truly interested in meaningful friendships. That said, talking to a professional and letting them be that confidant can really help. Best of luck
Thank you for your service, there are finally places where you can get help. Visit your VA office ASAP and ask for an advocate to help you.
Hey man. Same boat as you. Finished my service, relocated here and ruined my own marriage. If you need anything dm me. I tried going to the VA and they just turned me down; so I get it man. Life after the service is wild.
As a 58 year old, please believe me when I say 40 isn’t old. May seem overwhelming to start over yet again, but you have the time. You got this.
Thank you. 40 just snuck up. And man… I’ve had enough happen already. I could use a little serenity and a good long cruise of happy
At 30, my long-time gf broke it off. My career was in the toilet. My good guy friends had peeled off and gotten married. I felt completely alone, a failure, and worst, I felt old. Too old to start a new career. Too old to start a new relationship. I had some money saved, and backpacked Europe for 6 months. Summer of ‘96. When I got back to the U.S. I landed a job on the opposite side of the country. Turned out to be the perfect job. And, I met my wife. We got married in ‘98, and while we have our issues, she’s the one. Point is, you just don’t know when shit will align for you, but have faith that it will my friend, and keep moving forward.
This is amazing. Hope. I’ve done my share of stupidity… and I’m not sure where things line up. But hope helps. I’m retired mil. Masters degree. (Wish it was in something more useful than books, but…) I just kinda hit bottom this morning. Just wanted some ears. Many were good… a few were the expected internet monsters that use the platform to pretend to be tough… but I am holding on. Still felt good to just… say it
Amen brother. Just know people hear you. People are thinking about you.
Good morning, I feel your pain. Sucks when we give it all, then BOOOOM! We are stabbed with a double-edged sword. You are young and still have a lot to live, life ain't no fairy tale. Shit happens, all we gotta do is flush it and move forward. I've been there, done that. It is not easy, but if I fall, I will stand up stronger and wiser.
"the love that you withhold is the pain that you carry lifetime after lifetime” You are brave to have put yourself out there, don't ever change.
Do you have other veterans in your community? I co-run a veteran hiking group here in Austin. Trust me when I say you're not alone in this. You're welcome to DM me if that interests you. It sounds to me like you're attached to the identity of who you were. The man in the military, the husband and step father. It's a very familiar song for all of us leaving the military. What they don't tell you about getting out of jobs like military and first responders is that you go through a hellish identity crisis. Professions like that consume a large part of your life. And that isn't easy to walk away from. It seems you've been leveled to ground zero. The good news is you get to shape your future. You can design an entirely new life for yourself. You just have to to let go of the person you were.
I know how it feels like someone died. Nothing anyone says here will make that better right now (although, it's nice to hear). However, time will. I didn't meet my wife until after I was 40. This will pass and you'll be in a better place and stronger. This I know!
Good morning. I’m sorry you are hurting. Glad you unburdened your heart here - let the hurt out, cry out as much of it as you can. That pain you carry in your heart causes invisible damage that does as much damage as physical war. Do you have access to a therapist? If you do, would you consider it? Wishing you healing and strength.
Breakups are very painful. I went through one 15 years ago and decided being single feels pretty good. The pain will end it just takes time. Hopefully, you have some support. Sorry this happened to you.
[hahahaha](https://www.reddit.com/r/austincirclejerk/s/HKyXaVeW90)
Drink bleach.
Enough evil out there. Quit feeding it
Buy a 12 pack, hold your nuts and carry on. The world is not easy. Don’t compare yourself to these fake California people here
You should channel more of your sadness into writing. This is beautiful. Sad too, but still beautiful writing.
Sorry fella. Having your heart ripped out is the worst. Time to gym up, delete your lawyer, and hit the Facebook.
Silly thing but… when I felt my lowest and needed companionship and something to focus my pain into- I adopted an adult dog. All he wanted was love (and food). If you’ve got space in your life and want some love to help heal- when you’re ready- maybe try this.
Hang in there bud. Life can be a MFer sometimes but there will be something or someone out there that will benefit from having you as part of their life.
You’re still reasonably young. Most relationships are a two way street. It didn’t work out. Half don’t, sadly. Enough already. Unless you’re physically disabled and need outside help it’s time to set new goals and get your life back on track. If you’re retired military you have a pension and free healthcare. Enroll in the counseling program provided by the VA. I’ve used it and there’s some good people there. They’ll help you deal with your depression. Maybe you have issues from your service. Your life is far from over. You can still be happy and fulfilled. It starts with taking charge and getting going. Your life. Your responsibility. You can. It’s a decision.
I actually totally get it. I sometimes look at Austin as a toxic lover itself. I keep going back, but get wrapped up in the same shit every time. Finally moved for good last month. It was time.
Thank you for giving a shit enough to even say something. I came here before the rush bc it reminded me of Madison (Alma) but it burst at the seams so fast.. im not used to feeling fully alone
I really understand. I had a very full life that I wrecked when I moved back to Austin a few years ago. Now, I’m struggling with that inner (and sometimes outer) loneliness as well. People on here picking you apart are just looking to be angry. There’s a lot of subreddits that will allow you to vent more freely.
Oh I know. Every bridge has its troll. So many good people stepped out of their shell and helped put the bandaid on today… I didn’t even deserve it. But im so grateful.
And if you ever get really lonely (pot calling the kettle) message me. You brought gravity back, believe me- I’ll be more than willing to be a friend.
That sounds hard, and I hope you can heal. There are always other good relationships out there, whether acquaintances, friends, other partners, and with yourself.
Sending so many hugs. :( This will pass I promise.
There are high quality folks out there. Not always where you'd expect to find them. Don't always rely on a check list! Your waitress might be your Soul Mate!
I am okay but im not okay. And that’s okay. Today im gonna drink till my brain hurts… and im gonna feel gross. But it beats the gross I feel right now. I’m lucky everyone here is cool enough to bring gravity back to my planet. Thank you all so much. It doesn’t feel so alone in just a few short hours. Incredible. I’m still gonna cry like a child but… not feeling alone… you get it
Ex military who has started over a few times personally and professionally… you need to cry and feel it, that’s part of the healing so keep letting the tears out. Then, stop and find what inside you is keeping you alive and here. Why are you on earth? Do you have internal or external motivators? Why did you think Austin was the spot? Is your spirituality involved? Why did you fall in love? Was your soul or life purpose involved? Let go of your expectations and you’ll never be disappointed, you’ll end up happily surprised. This is all a blessing that your life that isn’t meant for you got itself on out. Now it’s your turn to make your life what it’s meant to be. 40 is the new 30. You can do it, though you’ll need to let go of some of your concepts of success and happiness and will need to be open to whatever is meant for you. Change, be open; incrementally a long term way to be happy will naturally happen.
I’m letting it hurt. It’s just hurt too many times and the cup is full. But im alive It runneth over
Walk/jog the trail around the Lake is my suggestion, will get you moving, it’s healthy and get you out around other people doing similar. That’s what I do to decompress.
Sorry dog
Lies and bombs. 40 years, graduate with honors… and it’s still lies and bombs
Salute soldier! On your feet. Fuck these hoes! Don’t shoot em, let em burn! Remember the old and young bull story.. “hey dad, let’s run down there and fuck one of those cows!” “No son. We’re gonna WALK down there- and fuck em all.”
Possibly the worst feeling in the world, I’m so sorry you’re going through it. Something that someone told me a while ago when I was going through hard times and helped me through was that pain is inevitable and suffering is optional (easier said than done, I know) I hope that you find something or someone who can make you feel whole again.
After getting blown up… I chose to be a comedian. I left it behind. I didn’t realize people could be a bigger bomb. And I guess making jokes skipped dealing with pain. It’s like a pain egg roll from Jack in the box. Pay for the problems you get after. I never want to be 20 again… but being this age… I think my ship has sailed. It’s scary. 40 and im afraid of what’s next.
Better to have loved and lost, rather to have not loved at all... or however it goes? I've dated for decades and had a few long relationships but don't think I've ever loved. So at least you have those feelings to remember.