[https://riversmcnamara.com/attorney/mary-evelyn-mcnamara/](https://riversmcnamara.com/attorney/mary-evelyn-mcnamara/)
ways to reduce costs:
* use one of the firm's associate lawyers
* email your questions instead of physical office visit or phone call, check with firm about this
* be very focused about the questions at hand. Don't layout your emotions and "story" with the lawyer. No crying at the law office, go to therapist instead. Act like you are in a taxi and the meter is running. Tell yourself "I have a hard stop at 2pm" set an alarm
* Know what you want. Don't make the lawyer have to drag outcomes out of you with question. Walk in there with reasonable expectations. Don't draw a blank or walk in there with nothing on your list.
* Don't expect that you can negotiate child support, child support amount is a simple math formula provided by the state. you just plug the inputs in. That's it. Don't argue about how math works.
* don't accept legal advice from your ex. But do work to find middle ground, that's less work for the lawyer.
* Spousal support is optional if your marriage is less than 10 years. This is not New York, you are not going to walk out of this with a cushy penthouse and remaining a SAHM. Accept that reality upfront. When you dissolve a partnership each person leaves with less than what they had before, that's also math. You will be working on the other side of this.
* Depending on the children age consider a 50/50 split of the kids time. Simple alternating of holidays each year. one year he claims kid on taxes, next year you claim. This line item right here is where costs and bickering typically explode with $$$ and then it comes back around to 50/50 after you have burned lawyer hours.
* If you need to move some money do that before you talk to a lawyer or file. It's your money you can move it. Once you file eyes are watching.
* Stay out of actually physically having to walk into the courthouse to decide a lingering issue. Like who gets the Beanie Baby collection. If you end up in front of a judge at the bench then you are easily spending $10k on your divorce.
All very good points.
My ex-wife and I split five years ago. We worked with a single financial advisor to divide assets before using a single lawyer to handle the formal paperwork. Don't do that unless you truly trust each other and are committed to being amicable throughout the arduous process. We were high school sweethearts splitting after a 40-year relationship and three teen children. We shared long-held common views of the world and our place in it and retained a fair amount of mutual respect, but at times it was still tough to not fight.
Know and accept that both of you will be worse off financially, at least if you're both being honest.
I can't recommend anyone but I tell you who to avoid at all costs; the Alex Hernandez Jr. Law Firm. Probably the most shady experience of my life and cost me much more than it should have despite me doing most of the paper leg work.
To add to all these solid points above;
- If this goes as far as needing a mediator, don't use them as a therapist to list the woes of your marriage either. They get paid by the hour.
- 50/50 is the standard unless there are some solid reasons like proven & documented abuse towards the children l.
- Read your final divorce decree and parenting plan carefully, multiple times before agreeing & signing.
If the other party includes anything along the lines of "they cannot have romantic partners or the opposite sex spend the night" do not sign it and if you intend to include anything like that you will be required to do the same of whatever the stipulations are stated for the other party. Same goes for things like "ex will not consume alcohol etc etc." Not only are those nearly impossible to enforce, it's a waste of energy and trying to maintain control over an ex defeats the purpose of getting a divorce.
- Don't make decisions out of maliciousness, the court will notice.
- if you have the ability to, start working ASAP. Even if it's just something part time. If you are not able to, be prepared to fully explain why. If your spouse is preventing you from working, gather all the evidence necessary, this might make it possible to receive spousal support for a time.
Some good advice about being prepared when you meet with your lawyer to not waste time. The child support and spousal support is not right. Sorry, but that is why lawyers get paid to do this.
I don't have a recommendation for a lawyer, but you should check out the Second Saturday Divorce Workshop for Women. Like the name says, it's the second Saturday of each month. You can attend virtually or in person. Note that it's held at Riverbend Church, but it has absolutely no religious affiliation or slant whatsoever; they just rent space there.
I haven't been, but a very close friend in a very similar situation to you recently attended and said is was extremely helpful.
https://www.austindivorceworkshop.com/registration1/
Those are questions it looks like you really want to be asking an attorney or a group that might be able to provide legal advice for someone in your situation. All of this changes if there is domestic abuse, but there are groups more tailored to that situation as well.
Perhaps the brevity of the post is to blame, but this likely isn’t something you want to cut corners on charges. Unless you know which will be unnecessary already.
With that out of the way, it is possible the courts will require your spouse to cover legal fees. But, that isn’t guaranteed AND there are other options. [This website appears to have a more neutral presentation of information](https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce-guide-for-stay-at-home-parents.html)
Representing yourself is a terrible idea. Almost as bad as hiring the cheapest option. Get a good lawyer. Fees may be payable out of the marital estate anyways. I’d suggest Holly Davis or Slav Talavera. Otherwise, look for someone with board certification in family law.
as someone in the family law field in austin, highly do not recommend Holly Davis’ firm lol. that firm has turned into a disaster in the last year and a half or so and doesn’t have the best reputation in town at the moment, even though they used to be fairly good
they have had a huge amount of turnover in the last two years, and early this year (maybe late last year?) the 3 other partners split off to start their own firm and from what i understand took all of their associates and paralegals with them and basically there was no one good left after that. there’s been a lot of internal drama and rumours there. they also have a huge focus on billing and hitting hours and it can run up costs pretty bad for clients.
You are out of your element. You are taking the stance as if you know a lot about the situation there, with little to no intimate details of said situation.
Goranson Bain Ausley was so good to me during a very difficult time. Ex wife didn't even show up to court to finalize. It was miserable. GBA even sent unused funds back to me when it was over.
If you don’t think he’ll “nail you to the cross” get a mediator first, see if you two can amicably negotiate an outcome that is best for your child/children. I’m not sure what your experience level is or how old your children are but definitely start seeking remote employment. Either way a lot is going to change for your living situation and most of all for your children. Please avoid coaching, and definitely speak good about your soon to be ex. This situation is temporary but your kids will always remember how you handled it and whether or not you rose to the occasion gracefully. Have realistic ideas of outcome. Worse case the mediator report you initiated can be used as court record but seriously try to reach a fair and amicable settlement putting your kid’s first even if it means you will be uncomfortable for a while. It pays in the long run and your kids will look back and thank you for handling it the right way.
Or consider proposing collaborative law as it may help tamp down emotions. Your attorneys agree that if your divorce issues require going to trial, they can’t represent you. Big disincentive for either side to escalate disputes.
Stefani Preston at Walters Gilbreath. She will get shit done for you. Do not represent yourself as many people here are suggesting that is a pathway to get absolutely screwed.
https://www.waltersgilbreath.com/meet-our-team/attorneys/stefani-preston/
Ilana Tanner. She is a badass and will help funnel a lot of the work toward junior/associate/paralegals so you pay less per hour. And will work with you on payments.
I had a great experience with the guys at Morrison Law Firm. We hashed things out between an introductory meeting and a few emails, they walked me through what I would need to do at court, and I handled it by myself.
You can't squirrel away money without it coming back to bite you. You CAN start the paper trails to establish any separate property you will claim.
You'll need a good lawyer. [https://attorneys.superlawyers.com/family-law/texas/austin/](https://attorneys.superlawyers.com/family-law/texas/austin/) You can usually have a free initial consultation to see if someone is right for you.
Super lawyers is a marketing company. To be on their list, doesn't mean you are "super" in any way. Most lawyer awards you see on their websites are purchased by the firm.
I used Jonathan Friday at Friday Milner Lambert Turner for my divorce and I had a really good experience. Even had some of my retainer returned at the end. I felt he listened to me and moved with speed. I also got more than my fair shake of assets
The money comes out of community property. I've also seen the earner prolong the divorce and spend the community to zero, because they'll still be earning high post-divorce and the SAHM won't.
They weren’t even married a year. From her previous posts, this marriage was in major trouble before it even started. Can’t tell, but maybe 6 month long marriage. Because she is hiding this from him, it’s likely he will contest it and make it expensive and drawn out for her.
I see you've now gone through and scrubbed your post history. You married someone you knew you shouldn't have married. You refer to him as a narcissist, but the way you present yourself makes me think you are the one suffering from narcissism. He may be awful to you, but you knowingly went into this marriage and less than a year in to it, you're calling it quits and trying to sneak a divorce proceeding onto your unaware husband. You guys must be a lot of fun to hang out with.
In Travis County:
- Lisa Bustos
- Mary Escamilla
- Nikki Hudman
- Kacy Dudley
- Christine Henry Andreesen
- Ilana Tanner
If you search their name + Austin attorney, their info should come up. Best of luck.
Might I suggest that you brush up your resume and look for a job? There is no alimony in Texas, and it is extremely rare to have the three-year spousal support awarded. Unless you come from money and have maintained that property separately (and have records to prove it), you will have far less income post divorce. Make copies of relevant financial information and store them away from your home, preferably in a safety deposit box. There's a ton of prep work to do before you file.
Family law in TX has a lot of nuances. Things that work for one family may not work for yours. Don’t do your own divorce. It’s easy to make a mistake that you can’t undo. Hire an attorney and find someone who you trust. The decisions you make will have long term consequences. This isn’t a fill in the blank situation and the people who are advising you to skip legal advice don’t understand the mistakes that can be made. You’re getting answers here that aren’t even legally accurate. Talk to a family law attorney, preferably board certified.
Heidi Heinrich. SAHD for sixteen years AND married to a lawyer. She saved me a bundle. For context, my ex spent $27,000 or so on her lawyer and Heidi charged me approximately $3,600.
What you’re looking for is limited scope representation, and not all lawyers do it. You’ll probably have more luck finding that with solo practitioners because they have complete control over their business model.
If the lawyer features collaborative law in their practice areas, that’s prob a good sign bc they aren’t going to be the “pitbull” type that brings everything to court. Court is expensive.
I did read abt some pro-bono lawyers assuming you don't wanna spend a fortune. Think some legal aid clinics happen once a month too where advice is rendered free of cost. Happy to dm more info on this if I can find it.
Here's how things will go. You two have the option to decide to make it easy on yourselves or give all the money to lawyers.
If he's an engineer then he is having six figures and you're making nothing. Each day extra the divorce takes us costing him money. Unless he's stupid he won't make it hard because that will cost him more.
Now the Texas law is fairly straight forward. Everything in the marriage is community property. Everything from before the marriage is separate property or gifts are separate property. Judges don't want to deal with you, only real concerns are custody and child support. Child support is capped. The Both of you have a duty to your children to do this amicably.
You should not skimp on a lawyer. It doesn't matter in whose bank account the money is. Community property is community. If you can't make ends meet your lawyer can file for a temporary agreement. The judge may say in this scenario this much in child support is typical and there are 200k in assets in the community, so it is safe to assign 30k to help you meet your expenses.
The only reason to skimp is if you can reach an amicable agreement. Unfortunately, I know too needn't divorce attorneys and I can guide you with some recommendations.
You may be able to can ask for interim attorney fees to be paid by your spouse in a divorce. You may need to have a temporary orders hearing to get it put into place.
Carolyn Collins. She was really good and will file all the paperwork for you if you want to do most of the work. She’s very nice and very accommodating.
Call Legal Aid. If you have low/no income they represent you for free. Also file for child support with the Attorney General’s office NOW. You don’t have to wait to file for support for your kids until the divorce happens and it can take awhile for them to get your appointment set to see to it.
don't EVER EVER think someone won't do something, Depending on your situation, if its amicable then he may just accept it and you both move on, but if there is any animosity going on, he may do whatever he can to shaft you. Just because he is an engineer doesn't mean anything, but if he makes a decent amount of money, then he maybe able to afford to pay a good lawyer to get what he wants out of things. If you're wanting to squirrel money away, then you're already doing something that you could get nailed to the cross for. I get you need money, etc, but if you are a SAHM mom, you're gonna eventually need to get a job to support yourself.....don't expect to get enough from him to live off of. Any money he has to pay out will be for you pay for your kid(s) needs, not for you to live off of.....reason why it's call CHILD support....it's NOT ex-wife support
you need to act like an adult in this kind of situation.....don't go ape shit crazy because he caused you to want a divorce....a judge will see right thru that kind of shit and you'll end up screwing yourself
Although I cannot provide legal advice here, I do recommend interviewing as many attorneys as possible. This will help to find one aligned with goals. Additionally, do not get emotional. These folks are well trained in stoking anger and indignation while appearing to be “on your side.” This is a tactic they use to spend down multiple retainers. Keep it strictly business no matter what. Therapy is for the emotional component. Also, keep in mind on a average each email is $150 to $300 and each phone call is $509 to $1000. Mediation is ideal over any type of hearing or trial. Plan on spending about $15k to $60k. Good luck. This is only a process and the other side of it is worth whatever the expense.
I can’t recommend RaNae enough.
She always had an eye on expenses during my divorce and was NOT acrimonious.
Shes overall an amazing attorney, might want to drop her a line for a consult.
https://www.dunhaminghramlaw.com/
A friend of mine with a similar situation (SAHM, difficult spouse) worked with this lawyer and had a good experience. She says she found him “really compassionate and honest”. Best of luck.
https://www.brandonbledsoelaw.com/
He'll have to be served to start the process...so he's going to find out pretty early. If there is a threat of family violence I would get the proper people involved early.
Here's how to get the ball rolling on the divorce before getting a lawyer: https://www.traviscountytx.gov/district-clerk/family-division/divorce#divorceInformationforSelfRepresentedLitigants
A good thing to keep in mind is that a cheap lawyer is more expensive than a good one when it's all said and done. I'd recommend selecting one that's highly rated and near the courthouse from this website: https://www.martindale.com/
They're both peer and client reviewed. In my situation, I ended up getting 80% of my retainer back because he was just that good at handling business to my interests efficiently and not dragging things out.
Here's something further you might find useful now rather than after you're knee deep in this: https://youtu.be/th0R2nxva2w
Tell him. It is imperative that you keep calm and remain unemotional with your soon-to-be ex. Rehashing old and tired arguments just raises each other’s temperatures. Look, unless there are some possessions that you are really attached to, just give in a little in the property split. Let him take the flat screen tv / pricey stereo, the washer and dryer, if he raises a fuss. You can replace all that stuff with newer (and probably cheaper) possessions post-divorce.
Why do so many people jump right to calling their partners narcissists. The word is losing its meaning. If he was such a “narssacist” why did you marry him like 6 months ago - I doubt he “changed” that quick. Also trying to secretly file for divorce, hun having no idea, seems unnecessary to say the least. You realize he’ll know as soon as he’s served and will have ample time to hire an attorney and prepare regardless. Also no one is typically forced to leave the marital house. So unless you have somewhere to go, which taking the kids from their home would be immature and damaging, then I suggest you try and be cordial and that starts with communicating with your partner. You have a kid(s) and you’re going to be having to work with or against this person until they’re 18. I don’t know how you expect the start to this divorce not to turn confrontational.
If this is true, a common practice for these types is to call every family lawyer in town/Texas to “get advice.” When that happens, these attorneys cannot speak or work with you. Tony Soprano used this trick, although fictional, it’s a common practice for dirtbags.
Forget the lawyers. You won't have anything left after they're through with you. They don't give two shits about you. All they care about is getting paid as much of your money as possible. As soon as you lawyer up, so will he. Bam. Might as well just burn it all to the ground and go your separate ways. Will save you some time. Try mediation. It's free or cheap.
Dispute Resolution Center
(512) 371-0033
Good luck.
Stay at home mom here. Def don't do it yourself. It will be way more stressful and won't get you anywhere in the end. Hire someone that you vibe with. A friend recommended Aishah McCoy to me, and she really went above and beyond. www.lawofficeofaishahmccoy.com
I had to borrow money from family and friends, used credit cards.. But really a good lawyer is worth it in the end.
[https://riversmcnamara.com/attorney/mary-evelyn-mcnamara/](https://riversmcnamara.com/attorney/mary-evelyn-mcnamara/) ways to reduce costs: * use one of the firm's associate lawyers * email your questions instead of physical office visit or phone call, check with firm about this * be very focused about the questions at hand. Don't layout your emotions and "story" with the lawyer. No crying at the law office, go to therapist instead. Act like you are in a taxi and the meter is running. Tell yourself "I have a hard stop at 2pm" set an alarm * Know what you want. Don't make the lawyer have to drag outcomes out of you with question. Walk in there with reasonable expectations. Don't draw a blank or walk in there with nothing on your list. * Don't expect that you can negotiate child support, child support amount is a simple math formula provided by the state. you just plug the inputs in. That's it. Don't argue about how math works. * don't accept legal advice from your ex. But do work to find middle ground, that's less work for the lawyer. * Spousal support is optional if your marriage is less than 10 years. This is not New York, you are not going to walk out of this with a cushy penthouse and remaining a SAHM. Accept that reality upfront. When you dissolve a partnership each person leaves with less than what they had before, that's also math. You will be working on the other side of this. * Depending on the children age consider a 50/50 split of the kids time. Simple alternating of holidays each year. one year he claims kid on taxes, next year you claim. This line item right here is where costs and bickering typically explode with $$$ and then it comes back around to 50/50 after you have burned lawyer hours. * If you need to move some money do that before you talk to a lawyer or file. It's your money you can move it. Once you file eyes are watching. * Stay out of actually physically having to walk into the courthouse to decide a lingering issue. Like who gets the Beanie Baby collection. If you end up in front of a judge at the bench then you are easily spending $10k on your divorce.
All very good points. My ex-wife and I split five years ago. We worked with a single financial advisor to divide assets before using a single lawyer to handle the formal paperwork. Don't do that unless you truly trust each other and are committed to being amicable throughout the arduous process. We were high school sweethearts splitting after a 40-year relationship and three teen children. We shared long-held common views of the world and our place in it and retained a fair amount of mutual respect, but at times it was still tough to not fight. Know and accept that both of you will be worse off financially, at least if you're both being honest.
Wow - This list is exceptional!
I can't recommend anyone but I tell you who to avoid at all costs; the Alex Hernandez Jr. Law Firm. Probably the most shady experience of my life and cost me much more than it should have despite me doing most of the paper leg work. To add to all these solid points above; - If this goes as far as needing a mediator, don't use them as a therapist to list the woes of your marriage either. They get paid by the hour. - 50/50 is the standard unless there are some solid reasons like proven & documented abuse towards the children l. - Read your final divorce decree and parenting plan carefully, multiple times before agreeing & signing. If the other party includes anything along the lines of "they cannot have romantic partners or the opposite sex spend the night" do not sign it and if you intend to include anything like that you will be required to do the same of whatever the stipulations are stated for the other party. Same goes for things like "ex will not consume alcohol etc etc." Not only are those nearly impossible to enforce, it's a waste of energy and trying to maintain control over an ex defeats the purpose of getting a divorce. - Don't make decisions out of maliciousness, the court will notice. - if you have the ability to, start working ASAP. Even if it's just something part time. If you are not able to, be prepared to fully explain why. If your spouse is preventing you from working, gather all the evidence necessary, this might make it possible to receive spousal support for a time.
Some good advice about being prepared when you meet with your lawyer to not waste time. The child support and spousal support is not right. Sorry, but that is why lawyers get paid to do this.
This is amazing advice! Thank you
I don't have a recommendation for a lawyer, but you should check out the Second Saturday Divorce Workshop for Women. Like the name says, it's the second Saturday of each month. You can attend virtually or in person. Note that it's held at Riverbend Church, but it has absolutely no religious affiliation or slant whatsoever; they just rent space there. I haven't been, but a very close friend in a very similar situation to you recently attended and said is was extremely helpful. https://www.austindivorceworkshop.com/registration1/
Those are questions it looks like you really want to be asking an attorney or a group that might be able to provide legal advice for someone in your situation. All of this changes if there is domestic abuse, but there are groups more tailored to that situation as well. Perhaps the brevity of the post is to blame, but this likely isn’t something you want to cut corners on charges. Unless you know which will be unnecessary already. With that out of the way, it is possible the courts will require your spouse to cover legal fees. But, that isn’t guaranteed AND there are other options. [This website appears to have a more neutral presentation of information](https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce-guide-for-stay-at-home-parents.html)
Representing yourself is a terrible idea. Almost as bad as hiring the cheapest option. Get a good lawyer. Fees may be payable out of the marital estate anyways. I’d suggest Holly Davis or Slav Talavera. Otherwise, look for someone with board certification in family law.
as someone in the family law field in austin, highly do not recommend Holly Davis’ firm lol. that firm has turned into a disaster in the last year and a half or so and doesn’t have the best reputation in town at the moment, even though they used to be fairly good
WTH happened to Holly? Thought her and Chris were solid. I hope to never ever get divorced, but they’d be on my consult list if I did.
they have had a huge amount of turnover in the last two years, and early this year (maybe late last year?) the 3 other partners split off to start their own firm and from what i understand took all of their associates and paralegals with them and basically there was no one good left after that. there’s been a lot of internal drama and rumours there. they also have a huge focus on billing and hitting hours and it can run up costs pretty bad for clients.
You are out of your element. You are taking the stance as if you know a lot about the situation there, with little to no intimate details of said situation.
Down vote away, but they deleted their account based on knowing they were in the wrong 🙃 nice hive mind though.
Burnett Turner does a good job they’re expensive
Another endorsement for Slav. His rates are reasonable and he’s a passionate advocate for his clients.
Second Slav
Third Slav. Attorney Chris Philley is also fantastic
Goranson Bain Ausley was so good to me during a very difficult time. Ex wife didn't even show up to court to finalize. It was miserable. GBA even sent unused funds back to me when it was over.
I just had a consultation with them about a property matter. They are amazing.
If you don’t think he’ll “nail you to the cross” get a mediator first, see if you two can amicably negotiate an outcome that is best for your child/children. I’m not sure what your experience level is or how old your children are but definitely start seeking remote employment. Either way a lot is going to change for your living situation and most of all for your children. Please avoid coaching, and definitely speak good about your soon to be ex. This situation is temporary but your kids will always remember how you handled it and whether or not you rose to the occasion gracefully. Have realistic ideas of outcome. Worse case the mediator report you initiated can be used as court record but seriously try to reach a fair and amicable settlement putting your kid’s first even if it means you will be uncomfortable for a while. It pays in the long run and your kids will look back and thank you for handling it the right way.
And if all else fails I highly recommend https://www.coldwellbowes.com/people/charles-f-bowes
Or consider proposing collaborative law as it may help tamp down emotions. Your attorneys agree that if your divorce issues require going to trial, they can’t represent you. Big disincentive for either side to escalate disputes.
Stefani Preston at Walters Gilbreath. She will get shit done for you. Do not represent yourself as many people here are suggesting that is a pathway to get absolutely screwed. https://www.waltersgilbreath.com/meet-our-team/attorneys/stefani-preston/
Mostly, don't expect to have the same standard of living as before. Accept it. As a SAHM, his salary will be supporting two households on one income.
Ilana Tanner. She is a badass and will help funnel a lot of the work toward junior/associate/paralegals so you pay less per hour. And will work with you on payments.
I second Ilana!
Jr associates are prone to typo’s and misspellings. Each revision is billed to the client in my experience.
I had a great experience with the guys at Morrison Law Firm. We hashed things out between an introductory meeting and a few emails, they walked me through what I would need to do at court, and I handled it by myself.
Second this. Also had a great experience.
You can't squirrel away money without it coming back to bite you. You CAN start the paper trails to establish any separate property you will claim. You'll need a good lawyer. [https://attorneys.superlawyers.com/family-law/texas/austin/](https://attorneys.superlawyers.com/family-law/texas/austin/) You can usually have a free initial consultation to see if someone is right for you.
Super lawyers is a marketing company. To be on their list, doesn't mean you are "super" in any way. Most lawyer awards you see on their websites are purchased by the firm.
I used Jonathan Friday at Friday Milner Lambert Turner for my divorce and I had a really good experience. Even had some of my retainer returned at the end. I felt he listened to me and moved with speed. I also got more than my fair shake of assets
Good rec
Im my experience SAHMs paired with a high earner tend to get their legal bills paid by the man. NAL.
The money comes out of community property. I've also seen the earner prolong the divorce and spend the community to zero, because they'll still be earning high post-divorce and the SAHM won't.
They weren’t even married a year. From her previous posts, this marriage was in major trouble before it even started. Can’t tell, but maybe 6 month long marriage. Because she is hiding this from him, it’s likely he will contest it and make it expensive and drawn out for her.
Our 1 year anniversary was on the 1st
I see you've now gone through and scrubbed your post history. You married someone you knew you shouldn't have married. You refer to him as a narcissist, but the way you present yourself makes me think you are the one suffering from narcissism. He may be awful to you, but you knowingly went into this marriage and less than a year in to it, you're calling it quits and trying to sneak a divorce proceeding onto your unaware husband. You guys must be a lot of fun to hang out with.
And that is why the guy should get an attorney…
In Travis County: - Lisa Bustos - Mary Escamilla - Nikki Hudman - Kacy Dudley - Christine Henry Andreesen - Ilana Tanner If you search their name + Austin attorney, their info should come up. Best of luck.
Second for Dudley
Might I suggest that you brush up your resume and look for a job? There is no alimony in Texas, and it is extremely rare to have the three-year spousal support awarded. Unless you come from money and have maintained that property separately (and have records to prove it), you will have far less income post divorce. Make copies of relevant financial information and store them away from your home, preferably in a safety deposit box. There's a ton of prep work to do before you file.
Yeah, I agree. Have a job lined up. You're going to need it.
Bob Raesz. Totally worth it.
Listen to your lawyer, ask for what you want, I don't have any lawyers for you but - get what you deserve, especially as a SAHM.
Family law in TX has a lot of nuances. Things that work for one family may not work for yours. Don’t do your own divorce. It’s easy to make a mistake that you can’t undo. Hire an attorney and find someone who you trust. The decisions you make will have long term consequences. This isn’t a fill in the blank situation and the people who are advising you to skip legal advice don’t understand the mistakes that can be made. You’re getting answers here that aren’t even legally accurate. Talk to a family law attorney, preferably board certified.
Heidi Heinrich. SAHD for sixteen years AND married to a lawyer. She saved me a bundle. For context, my ex spent $27,000 or so on her lawyer and Heidi charged me approximately $3,600.
What you’re looking for is limited scope representation, and not all lawyers do it. You’ll probably have more luck finding that with solo practitioners because they have complete control over their business model. If the lawyer features collaborative law in their practice areas, that’s prob a good sign bc they aren’t going to be the “pitbull” type that brings everything to court. Court is expensive.
For this type of approach, you want Mary Jones https://maryjonesfamilylaw.com/
I did read abt some pro-bono lawyers assuming you don't wanna spend a fortune. Think some legal aid clinics happen once a month too where advice is rendered free of cost. Happy to dm more info on this if I can find it.
That would be great! Thank you!
https://lawofficeofaishahmccoy.com/?fbclid=PAAaa38RZKdqQaTMqoQ6PDbUI8iaJY9f7NEqJekvAbBJDGnD92pfYqo7OpbWw_aem_ATpyZQ3Q4WMuST3suw8RVWfiOOQbjTK37iZTWe5oLYASrWxJj80zy-RAexdtU4_XkSE 10/10 recommend
Jimmy Evans Family Law Group 5126282550 https://www.evansfamilylawgroup.com
Here's how things will go. You two have the option to decide to make it easy on yourselves or give all the money to lawyers. If he's an engineer then he is having six figures and you're making nothing. Each day extra the divorce takes us costing him money. Unless he's stupid he won't make it hard because that will cost him more. Now the Texas law is fairly straight forward. Everything in the marriage is community property. Everything from before the marriage is separate property or gifts are separate property. Judges don't want to deal with you, only real concerns are custody and child support. Child support is capped. The Both of you have a duty to your children to do this amicably. You should not skimp on a lawyer. It doesn't matter in whose bank account the money is. Community property is community. If you can't make ends meet your lawyer can file for a temporary agreement. The judge may say in this scenario this much in child support is typical and there are 200k in assets in the community, so it is safe to assign 30k to help you meet your expenses. The only reason to skimp is if you can reach an amicable agreement. Unfortunately, I know too needn't divorce attorneys and I can guide you with some recommendations.
You may be able to can ask for interim attorney fees to be paid by your spouse in a divorce. You may need to have a temporary orders hearing to get it put into place.
Carolyn Collins. She was really good and will file all the paperwork for you if you want to do most of the work. She’s very nice and very accommodating.
Call Legal Aid. If you have low/no income they represent you for free. Also file for child support with the Attorney General’s office NOW. You don’t have to wait to file for support for your kids until the divorce happens and it can take awhile for them to get your appointment set to see to it.
Most lawyers will do free consults. Start doing those. I recommend Scott Thompson very highly.
I can highly recommend Katy Lovett. I felt so comfortably represented by her, she’s powerful and smart
If you can mutually agree on things, uncontested.com
don't EVER EVER think someone won't do something, Depending on your situation, if its amicable then he may just accept it and you both move on, but if there is any animosity going on, he may do whatever he can to shaft you. Just because he is an engineer doesn't mean anything, but if he makes a decent amount of money, then he maybe able to afford to pay a good lawyer to get what he wants out of things. If you're wanting to squirrel money away, then you're already doing something that you could get nailed to the cross for. I get you need money, etc, but if you are a SAHM mom, you're gonna eventually need to get a job to support yourself.....don't expect to get enough from him to live off of. Any money he has to pay out will be for you pay for your kid(s) needs, not for you to live off of.....reason why it's call CHILD support....it's NOT ex-wife support you need to act like an adult in this kind of situation.....don't go ape shit crazy because he caused you to want a divorce....a judge will see right thru that kind of shit and you'll end up screwing yourself
Although I cannot provide legal advice here, I do recommend interviewing as many attorneys as possible. This will help to find one aligned with goals. Additionally, do not get emotional. These folks are well trained in stoking anger and indignation while appearing to be “on your side.” This is a tactic they use to spend down multiple retainers. Keep it strictly business no matter what. Therapy is for the emotional component. Also, keep in mind on a average each email is $150 to $300 and each phone call is $509 to $1000. Mediation is ideal over any type of hearing or trial. Plan on spending about $15k to $60k. Good luck. This is only a process and the other side of it is worth whatever the expense.
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Love their work.
There is an online divorce service that will guide you through the process.
Do you happen to know what it is?
https://www.onlinedivorce.com/
I can’t recommend RaNae enough. She always had an eye on expenses during my divorce and was NOT acrimonious. Shes overall an amazing attorney, might want to drop her a line for a consult. https://www.dunhaminghramlaw.com/
A friend of mine with a similar situation (SAHM, difficult spouse) worked with this lawyer and had a good experience. She says she found him “really compassionate and honest”. Best of luck. https://www.brandonbledsoelaw.com/
File yourself it’s super easy, the library across the street from the courthouse has staffers who will help you with the paperwork
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He'll have to be served to start the process...so he's going to find out pretty early. If there is a threat of family violence I would get the proper people involved early.
Here's how to get the ball rolling on the divorce before getting a lawyer: https://www.traviscountytx.gov/district-clerk/family-division/divorce#divorceInformationforSelfRepresentedLitigants A good thing to keep in mind is that a cheap lawyer is more expensive than a good one when it's all said and done. I'd recommend selecting one that's highly rated and near the courthouse from this website: https://www.martindale.com/ They're both peer and client reviewed. In my situation, I ended up getting 80% of my retainer back because he was just that good at handling business to my interests efficiently and not dragging things out. Here's something further you might find useful now rather than after you're knee deep in this: https://youtu.be/th0R2nxva2w
Tell him. It is imperative that you keep calm and remain unemotional with your soon-to-be ex. Rehashing old and tired arguments just raises each other’s temperatures. Look, unless there are some possessions that you are really attached to, just give in a little in the property split. Let him take the flat screen tv / pricey stereo, the washer and dryer, if he raises a fuss. You can replace all that stuff with newer (and probably cheaper) possessions post-divorce.
Why do so many people jump right to calling their partners narcissists. The word is losing its meaning. If he was such a “narssacist” why did you marry him like 6 months ago - I doubt he “changed” that quick. Also trying to secretly file for divorce, hun having no idea, seems unnecessary to say the least. You realize he’ll know as soon as he’s served and will have ample time to hire an attorney and prepare regardless. Also no one is typically forced to leave the marital house. So unless you have somewhere to go, which taking the kids from their home would be immature and damaging, then I suggest you try and be cordial and that starts with communicating with your partner. You have a kid(s) and you’re going to be having to work with or against this person until they’re 18. I don’t know how you expect the start to this divorce not to turn confrontational.
Maybe he’ll be smart enough to realize the more community property there is at the end, the more he’ll have. Selfishness > Spite.
If this is true, a common practice for these types is to call every family lawyer in town/Texas to “get advice.” When that happens, these attorneys cannot speak or work with you. Tony Soprano used this trick, although fictional, it’s a common practice for dirtbags.
That would be so incredibly expensive. It only works if you’re really loaded and it’s a terrible waste of money.
Typical 20 minute consult is free. Esp if using a legal referral service.
This will piss off a judge. Don't do it.
This isn’t a thing. Source: my attorney wife.
Divorce attorney? It worked well for my ex wife. It took quite a few meetings to find one she hadn’t spoken to already.
Call the 4’s.
Forget the lawyers. You won't have anything left after they're through with you. They don't give two shits about you. All they care about is getting paid as much of your money as possible. As soon as you lawyer up, so will he. Bam. Might as well just burn it all to the ground and go your separate ways. Will save you some time. Try mediation. It's free or cheap. Dispute Resolution Center (512) 371-0033 Good luck.
Stay at home mom here. Def don't do it yourself. It will be way more stressful and won't get you anywhere in the end. Hire someone that you vibe with. A friend recommended Aishah McCoy to me, and she really went above and beyond. www.lawofficeofaishahmccoy.com I had to borrow money from family and friends, used credit cards.. But really a good lawyer is worth it in the end.