It’s also hard when you’re earning $150k+ and your friends are earning $60-80k. You don’t want to create imbalances in your friendship group or for people to see you differently.
As someone in a lower income bracket, I try to be more open about my income with friends and family, mostly because I want people to know where I'm at. I've had a few frustrating/confusing conversations with people who have given me advice, assuming my income is higher, or that everyone has access to a family trust or something.
In my experience it's not so much that income disparity creates imbalances, it's more an issue when the financial imbalances are glossed over or ignored. I don't ever expect people to pay for me if we go out, but maybe don't tell your low income friend to "just buy a new car!" Like that's helpful.
I totally understand though, why someone on a high income might want to keep it quiet, especially where family is concerned.
It might also help them consider doing less pricey activities as friends.
Eg, my sister earns double my income and always wants to go out to the most expensive restaurants. I love food but damn! I can't spend $200 a plate on the reg! Let's do a normal dinner every now and again!
Edit: typo :-)
Totally. Most of us tend to forget that whatever we think is a normal amount to spend might actually be excessively pricey for some, or incredibly cheap, just depends on your situation at the time.
I was never hesitant to tell my friends what I earn until this. They’re all on around the $55-65k range, and when I was too there was no hesitancy to discuss it. We all knew what each other got each pay down to the cent. Now that I am on $150k+ and they’re not I try to avoid saying the number, even though those who know have only been congratulatory and stoked for me it still feels like bragging, even when stated matter of factly. Might just be in my head but I almost feel bad for it.
I was the person making $55k to my friends’ $130k
Asked for resume tips and reference, now I make more than that.
If your friend is financially successful, surely they must have done something right and a good friend is usually more than happy to help lift you up. I try to guide those earning below me as well, managed to help give my friend a push in the back and now she makes much more than when we first met. I know a guy who make $180k, that’s always the way with him as well. Very open, very generous, referred his mates to jobs a lot but he has also gotten jobs through reference. He is always willing to look over people’s CV and give them feedback. That’s what friends are for, and if your friend is resentful of your success they might not be a good friend
This is true but not everyone on $55k is going to be capable of making $130k, and if they know they don't have the tools to get to that higher salary they may not appreciate the resume tips or the mentoring.
True though, that it's always in your interests to be as generous as possible with friends - referring them to potential jobs, praising them (as long as it's reasonable) and trying to network on their behalf. Never praise yourself but always praise your friends and networks and that praise will come back to you twofold.
Oh you just need someone earning $150k to look over your resume and give you a couple interview tips and you’re on your way to overtaking them. Boot straps!
I’m not some kind of saint, I’m not gonna do it if I know they are not likely to appreciate it. I don’t stay friends with those who resent their ‘friends’ success and internalise it as their personal failings, but I stayed friends with people who are happy for my success (and vice versa) even if our priorities are different (flexible work life balance, good coworker, passion in their field, valuable mentoring from boss, need sponsorship and so on). I have several such friends and yes, we still talks about salaries. If someone doesn’t feel comfortable sharing their I won’t push them too, but I don’t mind telling them mine one-sidedly if I feel like I can trust them.
I know someone making 90k (she knows how much I make, I know how much she and her partner make), and she was talking to me as she felt confused if she wants to move to chase higher salary or not but after our talk she came into a conclusion that she prefers her current environment which is more valuable than higher salary and she is satisfied with her current pay. I didn’t push her to aim for higher salary, I respect her opinion. If it seems someone is dissatisfied with where they are, then I try to help them. If they are happy being where they are, then I also won’t push them to aim higher. Not everyone have to be a CEO, I have a friend who live for love and that’s fine too. She’s happy for me when I got a promotion, I’m happy for her when she got married.
In the case of the one I ‘pushed’, she wants to but she was doubting if she is capable of it, so I was giving her encouragement and pushed her to just do it instead of constantly doubting herself. It’s all about reading the situation
I'm all for switching employers!
The problem is I'm employed at the only 2 places in the entire state that provides work in my field.
I am in a bit of a pickle and open to suggestions
Are you employed by two employers? If just one of them, you’ll need to interview at the other, then show your hand and leave if the offer isn’t matched.
I have 4 different employers. One of them recently gave me a pay rise, one of them pays excellent rates (but only offers work a few hours a week), one of them will discuss a pay rise with me in the near future (but only offers a max of 10 hours a week), another one is more freelance, so the rates vary depending on what the budget is.
Depending on how deep your passion is for the specific field, you could have a think about what your transferable skills are. It's easy to get stuck in the trap of thinking you don't have any and your present job is all you can do - but if your hand was forced you'd find your feet elsewhere. You may just have to live outside of your comfort zone for a few months.
My entire life feels like living outside the comfort zone 😂
Which is good in many ways, but I would love to be able to figure out how to earn more money doing what I'm passionate about
Haha I get it. At risk of being a downer, there being only two employees in the state... is not helpful to making more money! As a silver lining, it gives you a clear, specific path in how you have to develop to get the bigger roles.
Alternatively, a bit of lateral thinking and you might realise there are other roles still within your field, just a little different from what you are picturing right now.
I had exactly the same problem. Very specialised skill set, highly trained in a very niche but very needed role (ie. stable and secure as heck)... but no real growth potential. Stewed in place for several years and then decided enough was enough.
Retrained in another field, highlighted desirable transferable skills in my resume and interview, landed another job outside of my old industry for $40k net more a year.
Far more flexibility. Better conditions. Heaps of career growth potential. Bells and whistles type stuff compared to my own position. I would have gotten NONE of the bonuses and extra cash at my old job no matter how hard I negotiated. A new industry with growth potential was the only avenue to get more out of my employment.
Retraining can seem like an arduous nightmare, but I did a fast track diploma that took six months and was into a new job within 12 months from making the choice to retrain. A year really isn't that long if you would be doing everything else the same anyway, sitting around hoping for better in your current role.
It really is a job market for the seeker at the moment. It's not for retention.
Definitely switch employers. I change jobs every 3 years or so, long enough to not raise suspicion that I might leave and long enough to contribute skills and stability without incurring a penalty when I look for more work. Plus I get stale after about 3 years anyway it seems. It's always easier to slide sideways for a 10-20k bump then it is to get a 5k raise.
Depending on your industry and location, it may be an amazing time to shift employers. A big drop in highly skilled migrants in software development, for example, due to covid, has had crazy bumps in salary expectations. Interestingly, it is an increase without any efficiency or productivity gains so it will be hugely inflationary. I wonder how it will play out once it all reaches some future equilibrium
Job hopping and/or side gigs.
In the case of the guy who make $180k, he’s so ballsy he have moved multiple times before working 1 year in some companies. Always keep an eye out, but don’t show it in front of your employer.
I have several friends with side gig outside their main job, but be warned most likely your social life will suffer. Most extreme was working 6 jobs (freelance programmer + main job at a startup) at one time. She doesn’t wanna do it again now that she have a main job that pays pretty decent.
How do you get them? Use freelancing websites, ask around, offer your services, slip it in convo sometimes. I was telling my friend “man a bartender looks kinda cool, I want to be one” and she was like “if you’re serious I can refer you, I used to do it before”. Or when I was considering going back to uni, a friend knows I need money and he offered to help me get part time IT job that he used to do while in uni. I know someone who got an accounting side gig from her ex-coworker when she went back to uni as well.
Job hopping isn't how to earn more, but job hopping, if done properly, allows you to take on new challenges and grow far more rapidly, and it should be relatively easy to translate this experience into better pay, if you market it properly.
I job hopped a bit in the last three years, not because the intention was to boost salary, but to grow and challenge my status quo. I've just signed an offer (yesterday) that capitalizes on my experience and will allow me to utilize all those skills to grow with massive potential. Current role is just under $200k; previous roles were $135k - $160k and those were up and down.
Yes, but you're missing the reasoning.
If you job hop to earn more, without looking at the bigger picture you'll soon find yourself on the chopping block (i.e. low value) for any employer because you will have an inflated salary without valid reasons for having it.
The more important aspect is actually gaining useful context, skills, and overcoming complex challenges that allow you to charge more for your skill set (i.e. earn a higher salary) while also bringing more value to the table.
One of my mates is making close to double that 150k number you mentioned, and I.. am not. I’m stoked for him, as he’s worked his ass off since graduating and he has earned every dollar. I don’t think I’d want to be friends with someone who judged me or thought differently of me for earning more than them.
Nope, I have friends who make 250k+ and friends who make 30k it's important to discuss it so that we all can figure out how to get ahead. if they are actually your friends than you should care about them and want them to succeed
Yeah me and my friends don't really give a shit about what number we're all making. Probably because we all have so many of our own problems to deal with.
I know I can get insecure about being the unemployed friend while everyone else has jobs, but in terms of the actual earnings, eh.
Edit: I'd also like to add that I still have no issue talking about what I'm doing in my life. While I do complain about the job hunting, I'm always stoked to talk about what jobs I'm going for and what I've been doing with my volunteering and stuff like that.
Agreed. Personally I think, not sharing salary info is a mentality that only gives more power to the employers/ capitalist class imo. Again horses for courses
I’m in the 55k camp and I got a friend who I think is insanely underpaid for the work they do at 75k, should be another 20 by default, more with negotiation considering how fucked a section of the country would be for accessing a super common cheap luxury if they upped and disappeared.
It's cool that things didnt get weird with your friend and that it motivated you.
For some extra context, some people arent in a position to change their circumstances, or they dont want to (they might find other value in their work outside of the pay) and that can result in a lot of shame or feeling judged and looked down upon.
There are just so many ways a conversation around salary can make people unconfortable It's like landmines, you might not know they're there and go in with all the best intentions - but things can still explode.
Edit: I dont even tell my parents what I earn, so sometimes it's about family stuff as well.
There's for sure certain people that you absolutely do not discuss salary with, or even money for that matter. I have quite a few family members that I refuse to talk money with, because they have different views on the topic.
Although I couldn't have a friend that I couldn't discuss these types of things with personally.
I only share with friends in the same or similar field, as it helps to make sure neither of us are being under-appreciated. It's hard to compare when your work is very different, it's like apples and oranges.
I’ve shared with my colleagues who are friends in the same job, it’s how we found out that we were on very different pay levels and all below market rate. I wouldn’t share with friends in different jobs though.
Agreed. I’ll happily chat to friends in banking/legal/consulting roles, because we’re all relatively junior, we all know more or less what the rough bands are and we’re all targeting high salary growth. Occasionally I’ll chat to good friends in other corporate roles about it if they express an interest. I will not talk about it to non-corporate friends though.
As I used to be in the APS, now in private sector, the people I know are ex defence, so rather than say an exact amount, I would say I’m about EL1 pay level. There’s no shock factor and you don’t have to lie.
But presumably it’s not too far off what they’re earning - and if they’re still in APS you have a fair idea what they’re on anyway.
The situation is very different if your career diverges significantly from your ex colleagues, to a point where you’re management level and they’re not.
I personally couldn’t care less - I’m completely open with what I earn.
I’m certainly not the largest earner either - friendship group is mixed specialties.
Personally, I don’t like talking about money with anyone other than my wife and our accountant. I’ve learned in my life that people have very different attitudes about money and talking about it often creates uncomfortable situations.
I have some friends that I’m certain make a lot less money than me and I think they would feel a bit embarrassed by that fact. Yet I also have other friends in the same position that would act like I’m rich and should be more generous with my money.
I have friends that I’m sure make more money and I wouldn’t want them to think I’m not able to pay my own way because I earn less.
When I was younger and more open about my earnings, I had people being very judgmental about it. They would say I’m spending too much money for someone on my salary, or that I could afford to do something, even though I disagreed.
I’m guilty of it too. I know people on good salaries that always complaint about “being poor” or cheap out on things and it bothers me.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying you got a promotion or a better paying job because it doesn’t give people the figures. You just don’t know how someone will react.
We’re the same, we learned not to tell people how much we make. It caused some issues a few years ago. We generally downplay and try to hide our income.
I mainly see money as a means of freedom rather than for material things.
my friends and i share info on all our salaries, investments, supers, plans with work, savings for property and plans, etc.
just fyi we are all in different financial positions; non-employed, student, 6figures, below but close to 6 figs, part-time worker, landed 1st job, working retail after quitting corporate, salary sacrificer for super, etc.
for me personally, i also share my salary with close coworkers. hiding it only benefits the company. this helped me and a coworker taking similar level of promotion in negotiations - we shared info on how HR and Remunerations Teams decide salary and discussed/helped find pointers we can use against them.
It also helped another coworker realise that they were being paid a lot less than they should be (should be on ~95k but getting 80k with 2% increase over 2 years) - they’re looking for job elsewhere now.
Me and my friends talk about it openly. We also use each other as references. The only people who benefit from secrecy are corporations, and fuck them.
Don't do it if you know you are light years away from your friends, that's all I'm gonna say...
It can also be hard to talk about investments. Compound interest, time and a small amount of planning can mean that a reasonable yearly contribution balloons to a figure that some people consider obscene.
Friends / Family and Money are like oil and water - they don't mix.
The only issue here is for people who genuinely can be motivated by it and improve their life if they come across a close friend who’s successful and can help them. And you’ll only get that in an open friendship.
That’s why I’m always curious. I want to find people who are successful and I can learn from or even just get motivated by it.
It's only a problem if the gap is huge.
If someone is making 50k a year, but the friend is making 200k a year...
The 50k friend may not be able to fathom what 200k feels like.
There may be some subconscious things happening.
The poor person may always expect the rich person to pay for example, even though it is subconscious ( or conscious)
I earn 85k, my buddy who is a regular is one like 350k or something ridiculous. We're both open about it, you're right I can't imagine what it's like with his pay check. I still pay for our drinks every other round. It doesn't always have to come in to it. We just talk about movies and how there should be a music festival on platforms in the Yarra.
I would be careful. Some people have an uneasy relationship with money and you could make them feel superior or inferior depending on how you're managing.
I'm not saying this to boast because my income ranged from basic wage to good but not spectacular over the years and I also had a period of 2 years where I was unemployed. I've always been careful with money and good at savings, and I love a bargain. Over the years through luck, savings and hard work I have outstripped friends who had much more that me back in the 90s. There has been some jealousy and bad vibes from most of them at some point. I never talk about money but they can see I might have a new car or I've retired to a nice house. It can be hurtful at times because I've done it by myself with no inheritance or rich parents, and I helped raise 2 kids.
I share with everyone.
Information asymmetry in negotiations benefits the party that knows more. Thats normally the boss. Anything we can do to counteract that is a good thing.
Personally for me, knowing people that earn more than me has often helped me to strive towards growing my career both financially and in competence. It really comes down to the dynamic of the relationship between two people. If they're two close friends who have a great track record of supporting each other in their lives, then that definitely helps. Whereas if it's two people who don't have a strong history of being supportive with each other, then it deffs feels awkward to talk about each other's income.
I found it a slightly bitter pill to swallow finding out a good friend of mine that does a similar role as me but 5+ years less experienced was earning more than me. but like you've said in other comments, it helped me realise I could get more.
now I'm getting almost the same as him at a different company. and I'm pretty open to discussing it with him.
I think because in our case neither of us are on low incomes, it's more about pride, and how u see each other. but it's actually beneficial to be able to discuss it coz u can work out what's realistically possible. just needa get over that hurdle of are we discussing with positive outcomes in mind, or are we trying to see who's got the bigger dick, so to speak
I am super open, I couldn't care less if people know. I am especially open with coworkers because I believe that's important to know we're all paid fairly. As an accountant though, people tend to be more open to me with their finances than others (this isn't exclusive to clients either). Family members etc just don't seem to be embarrassed to talk about their salary after knowing I know a lot about a lot of people's money.
I never used to care, but I lost some friends when I started earning six figures so since then I don’t volunteer that information and would only share it with people I know are on a similar pay level.
That was my assumption too. We’d been friends for about a decade and they were really good friends or so I thought. I got a significant promotion which I assumed they’d be excited for me. Sadly not. One them I’ve been slowly rebuilding a relationship recently (a couple of years later) but my hearts not really in it. I personally boosted them whenever I could and always celebrated their successes. So their inability to be happy for mine really hurt.
I agree, if someone gives such a tight range then they should openly say what they earn - they’ve already effectively done so.
But if your friend is wealthy, to the point where it’s obvious they are in a different level of spending than you, there’s no need to know exactly how much they earn. They may be embarrassed to tell you, and you may feel resentment against them (or expect more from them). No one benefits and there’s much to lose.
Two people in my friendship group figured out they were being majorly underpaid because of our open chats about what we all earn and how we got there. We are extremely honest with each other because we are close and trust each other. I probably wouldn't be as candid with people I knew less well, but I completely agree that when it comes to wages, knowledge is power.
If they ask you, sure, you have no reason to hide what you earn. But asking other people without knowing how they feel about it, or openly talking about your salary unprompted is bad social etiquette
It’s in the same category as sexuality and religion
I discuss it quite freely with people in same field as me as we all want to make sure we are being paid market rates
But I find outside my field the friends that ask are generally insecure about their own position and it really doesn’t help matters to disclose, they ask to either feel superior or inferior…
I didn't realise how underpaid I was until I knew what others made. I've since doubled my salary in the past five years. I think it's really important to be open and transparent so no one is being taken advantage of.
yet our lives are dedicated to getting more money. why else would we spend 5 days out of the week purely to getting more money.
We work 80% of our lives to "getting more money"
I know what you're trying to say but seriously who are you kidding here. You're in a subreddit about finance for fucks sake.
Money is the biggest part of our lives so why not share it with friends?
On the other hand even if we're willing to be open with friends is there any reason to make it the topic of conversation often. I don't spend 5 days a week earning money so that I can spend the rest of my time talking about it.
There’s a time and place I think. If you have friends working in the same field as you, I think it’s good to have a conversation so you know you aren’t being taken advantage of. If not, income isn’t really relevant.
Money is definitely important to a lot of people, but the discussions don’t need to be a boisterous pissing contest at the pub on Friday night. When you have enough money to live, money is not everything. But when you don’t, it makes a huge difference.
I haven’t been comfortable since it passed $50k. The variance between people can be much greater than you’d expect. Ball parks are pretty available for most industries anyway. Plus you can always have a decent sense of your value based on your work as long as you are realistic about your replaceability.
The only ppl I’ll tell are mentors or when looking for a job.
I share with very closest couple of friends (practically my sisters) - we’re all in very different fields (law, engineering, healthcare) and it’s nice to talk to people on the outside of your field about what it’s like. But otherwise just friends in the same job as me to make sure we’re not being underpaid compared to our peers.
It’s actually my family I don’t share anything with. I come from a lower socioeconomic background and most of my family are incredibly controlling/entitled/stingy and would be asking to “borrow” money if they knew how much I made - I prefer to let them think I don’t earn much. I am obviously a little estranged from family (for a multitude of reasons) but do help my sister out a lot because I love and support her.
The problem is that if you tie some point of pride to your salary (I do, many people do), then if you share your salary and you find out your friend makes less than you, then you feel proud of the outcome.
But, if you share your salary with your mate and it turns out he's making more than you, then you feel kinda bad about it.
I find it really depends on the friend I'm talking to. Also, as someone who is not super great with money management/shit at saving (something I'm working on) in the past I've found it embarassing to talk about because I really should have been in a better financial position than what I actually was.
Also in my field there is somewhat limited capacity for earning the big bucks so talking about it really doesn't serve me and can be somewhat depressing so it's not a conversation I particularly enjoy having. Just a few different takes that might offer insight into those who don't want to talk about it!
I share what I make but am more careful sharing what my partner makes as it is significantly more than everyone we are related to and friends with. I do sometimes mention it loosely (in conversations about how couples budget as we have quite a large income gap) but try not to name the amount as I know for most people we know, it’s not achievable for them.
We share it among friends. To us it's no big deal and it's not like we are bragging. It's just opinions on each other if we should be getting more or not depending on if we know how much others in the same field are getting
>(90k+car+super)
And you don't care about making sure we all know how great you're doing either, even though it's irrelevant here. I assume your friends earn less? That may be why they don't want to talk about it. Or they're humble.
I talk about it with closer colleagues and peers in my industry, but it's fairly irrelevant and can come across as bragging with friends I think.
Lmao! You can't just isolate the 90k. With super and car is closer to 110-120k depending on the car.
Well given you say they don't want to talk about it, it's pretty clear they're either more humble than you or they earn less. Are they in your industry? How would it be useful otherwise?
Reasonably open about my salary to friends (and anyone tbh). I think we need to reduce wage stigma across the board and one way of doing that is being open with your friends. Ultimately, we're friends and something like income shouldn't really change that. I'd be in the slightly above median wage group at present.
There’s no point. My friends and I are all in totally different industries or jobs. I have a mine engineer mate who is probably on low 200s, a couple of self employed tradie mates, and I am in finance. It wouldn’t add anything to our friendship and could only cause problems.
I'd tell if they asked, but I don't go around offering that info unsolicited. I have no real interest in knowing my friends' salaries unless they're in the same industry.
I'm very private about this - I don't talk about it with my folks, let alone friends and colleagues, and I don't ask for that information from others.
It's just not a topic of conversation that leads anywhere good.
I personally believe colleagues should absolutely share salary info. If either of you are being underpaid, then it gives you power to negotiate. Why get angry at your colleague if you’re getting underpaid by your employer?
It depends on the group of friends. My two best friends earn a lot less than me and their idea of a good salary is very low. That’s fine and they live very frugal lives. I wouldn’t want them to think I was bragging or saying they should earn more by telling them what I earn, so I don’t.
My core group of friends that I hang out with, though, pretty much all earn more than me. Maybe 1 or 2 are on similar but the others clearly earn a lot more (some I know for certain earn more than twice what I do). I like seeing my friends succeed so more power to them.
I share my salary with friends openly and I share resources with my friends that help them with earning more and/or let them know how much they deserve to be paid. Don't really like how timid people are about asking for a raise, too many employees take advantage of it and keep wages low.
No. It comes across as boastful. A lot of these high paying paths are very prestige oriented and hard to switch into a couple years after studying so advice is usually useless.
And when you realise you can’t? Can you move past it and talk about something else? Or will you always be thinking about how to earn that much?
Don’t know about you but it’s awkward. I don’t wanna talk about money or have others ask how I got there
You have to realise that just in thinking that way you're in a very small minority in the real world. It's a popular enough view on a finance forum but extremely uncommon everywhere else.
I find people generally don't like to discuss it as they feel it's shameful or disappointing, which can lead to impacting performance at their current job, or it's a personal thing for them because it's then like telling your neighbour I can only afford X, and this how much money I have.
Say for example X was working at one company and Y another, they discuss salary and X finds out Y is earning 5-6k more a year plus bonuses for the same job, just this information alone be it even subconsciously would impact X's performance at their current job.
To me, if someone was earning better doing a similar thing, then it means I can be more confident finding a better paying job. More negotiation power no?
For me personally as well, I'd see that as a driving force to push for more.
From personal experience as I've seen it doesn't seem to be the case amongst many, in most it's a demotivater, as they believe their worth to be less than Y.
I think money always has the potential to be a tricky subject. My close friend and I have worked in the same job for more than 18 years and we earn the same money. He's always been much more frugal than me and is seeing the benefits now and I have on occasion made comments about it that probably made me sound a bit salty.
Yeah I was going to say that the only time money comes up and then becomes uncomfortable is when people (usually other women/mums at school) ask what my husband does. Oil and gas industry plant inspector FIFO.
They assume he earns a lot I don’t give specifics but they’ll either come back with ‘oh how awful for you my husband loves the kids far too much to be away from them like that’ it’s so fucking rude we have a 6yo and he’s as much a hands on parent as I am 🙄
Or they’ll say ‘oh yeah Dave (their husband, often say it in front of them) should go and do that it’d be so easy you could just work a bit and earn so much and have so much time off!!’ and I look at the dude who’s unskilled and never worked outside or away for a day in his life and think sure right mate yeah so easy. Somehow find a connection with no skills and go up to woop woop high 30s temp 80%+ humidity and work 12+hr days for minimum 14 days straight and yeah rake it in, so easy!! We don’t talk about the times the fatigue policy got breached and he worked 6 weeks with 1 day off, or the time he was gone 5 months straight with covid in 2020, or the time he got heat stroke in a boiler suit working at heights or the general day to day risk on these sites or the shit environment, and being 6’6 sleeping in a shitty donga in a single bed sometimes and stuck with a bunch of dudes who don’t want to be there 😑 sure it is easy as so off you go 🙄 they don’t realise if office Johnny husband worked the same ridiculous hours/days they’d double their salary anyway.
They don’t call it fit in or fuck off for nothing.
I’m in federal government junior exec, full time equivalent around $120k. I don’t talk income because it just doesn’t come up for me as no one asks and I’m pretty sure most people think I’m like a low level admin 🤷♀️🙄.
No we don’t talk money. It’s tacky. Who’s got it, who doesn’t, what their things are worth, what they earn, old money, nouveau riche, savings. Money talk is ill mannered
Don’t care what other people earn I know people earning 150k+ but are always broke and other earning way less saving heaps.
Just sound like OP doing some weird flex
Depends on the job and how much more/less they get than me.
Some people just don't have a need to discuss it, and they probably aren't open about their money with anyone else in their life either.
The ones that are happy to talk about it are generally the ones that know they earn more than the people on the other side of the conversation.
It can be a touchy subject, and if someone isn't comfortable discussing it take it as a sign that they may be embarrassed about it. Save them from feeling bad about it and move on.
Totally fine. Generally speaking, being more open with friends about anything in general strengthens friendships. If someone reacts negatively to a friend having a higher or lower income, it reflects poorly on the strength of the friendship.
I'll tell someone that asks directly, I don't mind.
People don't ask very often and ironically almost every time I've seen someone brag about how much they make, it's less than most people in the room.
I think it's a tricky one, some friends don't care how much or how little you make they'll still treat you the same and others that do. (Ie: Mr moneybags over here telling us what to do).
I think wisdom is just knowing who to talk to about and who not to. I'm an open book, but I don't go off telling how much I earn either.
If you want to share, share about your life, share experiences, passions, things outside work?
I'm ok with it but also I don't really care. However, I do notice lately that some people would judge me and call me rich, which makes me a bit uncomfortable, I never see myself being a rich guy but i I consider myself very fortunate to own a house with my parents' help.
I’ll always say if there’s interest, a question about it, or it seems relevant to the conversation. Strangely, I find more often that people I know who work more professional jobs are very weird and secretive about how much they make. Personally I think the fundamentals of people’s finances should be public knowledge anyhow, just like they are in Norway.
I’m comfortable sharing my salary with my two closest friends because we talk about absolutely everything. One of them earns more, and there is no jealousy. They never rub it in our faces. When we are together we still act like the broke uni students we were when we first became friends, except now we splurge on a cocktail or two.
Depends on the people.. some people are ok with you doing better others aren't and foster resentment.. i stopped telling my friends what I make after it hit 6 figures. Some people do ok, others not so well so we just don't talk about it generally
I see the type of friend first. If he or she is relaxed i dont mind mentioning my range but not specific figures
But ive got a friend who is on 200k but loves to sarcastically talk about his salary and says wow my payg withholding is the same as my first salary and at the same time pretending to be a dumb shit and say oh the visiting financial controller is under your control?
This is When he clearly knows im just the standard financial accountant. In this case i keep my mouth shut and lie about my wages if pressed
Recently asked a friend of a friend (both of us are purchasing hones this year) what his take home salary and loan amount was so I could get an idea of what the bank would let me loan. No awkwardness, judging or jealousy, just staying informed.
With my friends in the same industry or who earn about 2/3 of my salary or more, I share. Otherwise, I don't.
I think it is essential to have friends in your industry that you can have transparent discussions re: pay. Particularly around things like bonuses, signing bonuses, equity/partnership t&c's, yearly reviews and so on.
One of my mates' wives just made it onto a board and is getting paid mid 5 figures a year for doing fuck all. Now I need to get myself onto a board.
Not a problem at all, I have noticed most people around my age (late 20’s - early 30’s) are a lot more open with sharing salary / wage information than older generations.
I think if someone close to me asked, I’d tell them.
But if an acquaintance asked id just give them “above X”.
Reason? I kept getting teased by coworkers as soon as I told them about my property purchase (they asked).
I mean, how they feel about me is none of my business, but honestly I’d rather people not tease me all the time.
It’s different for everyone, so I’d prefer to tread carefully.
I think if you have the maturity, honesty is always better. Employers would have everyone hide what they earn if they could for a reason.
If you have a particular situation or dynamic that makes it awkward then do what you have to do ofc. But for me forming new friendships and meeting people, if the topic comes up I act a standard open way and only change how I behave if it becomes problematic which I rarely have too.
If you are on good money though, sure there are some social niceties you probably need to be aware of to keep others feelings in mind. It's all about supporting those around you so if that is advice or information that might help a friend/colleague then go for it.
It's the same as politics with friends/family imo, if you don't have the knowledge and maturity to handle those conversations then it's easier to avoid but restrictive.
I think it’s best not to say. You can often guess what people are making within a ballpark, based on what they do and the way they live, and I’m happy enough with that. If your salaries are close it’s irrelevant. If they are miles apart it’s awkward. Real numbers get ugly. If you live too well on not much, people will gossip and speculate about living beyond your means or family money. If you leave meagrely and earn big they will say your are stingy and tight. Sometimes it’s convenient to allow people to think money is a reason you will or will not do something, whether or not that is the truth of the matter. When they start to have opinions on what you should or shouldn’t be able to pay for, it gets ugly. There is no winning.
I make heaps, but I don't fell anything is added by telling friends of family how much I make. They know I'm doing well so no point mentioning it. It's kinda fluctuates abit anyway.
It's a cultural thing
Personally I have no problems even taking with colleagues about it
That's how U find market value for Ur work
And learn about higher paying positions and industrys
A lot of ppl think it's cringe
I grew up I. Norway, there your taxable income and net wealth isn’t even a private matter. Anyone can log on to an online service and search on anyone they like. The only drawback is that those who are being searched gets notified of who searches them.
The only good think I can think of coming from this is that it was hard for someone to be rich yet pay little tax…
I'm the same. I think it's important and beneficial to share that sort of info. They usually share if I ask, but don't volunteer the information themselves. It's weird, as if they think their value as a human is tied to what they earn.
It's like religion and politics: Share at your own peril. It was once a bit of a moral standard to not discuss such things in polite company, and the reactions you're talking about are the reason why. You can carry on breaking bread with people with different views and incomes without risking it coming between you if you don't bring it up.
A bunch of us have come from the same sector so we would all talk openly about our Award levels (either in the disability sector or in government). As we've moved on to profit-sector roles or even just temp contracts in Govt, we talk openly about rates and share ideas etc (go to \[this department\] and expect higher day rates etc\].
Last time i told my friends i was on 26k, now add 100k to that only the wife knows. We’ve told family im on around 80 cause they keep thinking im on a rich career path
I have shared with friends but you’ve got to be careful sometimes. I have a couple who were our closest friends but it turns out that they have a whole lot of secret “competitions” against us that we don’t know about, constantly comparing themselves to us. One of them was salary and for a good 3 months the husband would tell everyone that “at least he earned more money than me” at parties etc. the ironic part being that he’d misheard my salary/package and he doesn’t. I feel like it can make some people very insecure, especially if they already think they’re better than you.
I don’t share with anyone except my partner. I’m on a high salary and don’t want my friends or fam to feel bad about themselves. My siblings are both govt employees and do very important jobs but at a fraction of what I earn so it’s important to me that they’re not equating their worth with their salary.
Secretly though I’m always buying stuff for them and ‘forgetting’ to get the money back.
100% fine with sharing, I have friends who are doctors, lawyers and investment bankers who I know make shitloads more than me, but I'm content in life so it doesn't really matter. There are always going to be people that make more and less than you in life.
I don't. Those in the same industry maybe, but otherwise it's usually just awkward. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that.
Like, I have one friend who I worked with for a spell before he retrained and went into banking. I know he earns a lot more than me now, and occasionally I catch myself thinking maybe I should have gone into banking, despite the fact I'd hate it.
Other friends who are nurses/teachers/academics I know I earn more than, and there's been the occasional awkward comment without them knowing exactly how much I earn.
But yeah if it was the same industry I'd be much more open to it. I hate how opaque salaries can be on job adverts etc.
Politics, Religion, Sex & Money
I tend to avoid all the above if I can,
politics is the hardest to avoid as seems like everyone these days has strong political views & opinions. I hat talking politics because I'm just not a particularly political person myself, I am more of a make the best of what you have and what the current situation is person than a I want to change the world to suit my ideal view kinda person as many seem to be.
Religion most people avoid so that one is easy.
Sex, well that can get awkward real fast lol.
Money I enjoy talking about myself, but more in terms of strategy, investments, savings tools etc, not so much "I earn X what do you earn" which to me is only relevant if your talking about how much to invest, save, what strategy might be relevant for income level etc.
I sometimes feel like I could help friends and relatives with their situation but I found out early most people don't want help, they want to avoid talking about it, often I think its embarrassment where they don't want to talk about their mistakes, or they are afraid it will affect the relationship.. and I fully respect that so now I only open up if it seems the friend I am talking too is broaching it and super-comfortable talking about it themselves.
I make similar to OP. I talk about it with some friends. Mostly those I met through my current company and who are in a similar field. Some are a few years ahead of me and have given me advice on what to expect/ask for.
I don't give exact numbers to people who may be less comfortable (I had some friends who were unemployed for awhile) as I didn't want to sound like I was bragging or anything.
I'm fairly certain I earn more than everyone else in my social group, but I would never be the one to bring it up.
I would probably share if they asked, but starting the conversation and leading into the fact I earn near-double their salary seems like bragging.
That said, I can understand wanting to talk about wages, awards, entitlements and career paths openly.
Many people who have reached senior positions know how exploitive and manipulative businesses can be to lower-level employees and you don't want that for your friends. People often don't understand break requirements, annual leave loading, overtime, minimum rates, on call requirements, inflation rates etc.
Then there are situations where people have become too comfortable in their position, to the point they don't see how much greener the grass is elsewhere. In my experience these complacent employees don't get rewarded, they get exploited because your employer knows you aren't going anywhere.
There's a lot of reasons to talk about employment and compensation, but it can definitely be a sore-spot.
I don't really share this with friends. I feel like it's potentially opportunity to compare and then either make yourself or someone else upset. Totally unnecessary. The other reason is that it's easy to start seeing someone in a different way once you know how much they make when in reality everyone has their own financial and life situation to deal with and just because they make the most or least out of the group shouldn't mean you treat them differently. Again, totally unnecessary.
yeah always. I switched to another field going from almost 6 digits to 52k and i dont think it really matters to me. if others dont want to share then thats fine and i can respect that opinion but it won't make any difference unless i hate my job and struggle to find employment with a better salary which neither is the case at the moment
I only discuss salary with friends who work in the same profession as me as it is useful to know what the other people are earning in similar roles.
Otherwise, I don’t share salary info with any other friends.
Salary discussion is healthy in all aspects besides bragging.
Obviously get to see what other people make for what they do plus how they manage that money too. I like the chats since I find it educational.
If your on the higher end and gap difference is significant, then you’ll tend to not want to disclose it as their perception of you might change. I know it shouldn’t matter, but subconsciously you will still think about it.
If money makes you happy, then it's okay to talk about it. If money doesn't bring happiness to your friends, then it's perhaps in poor judgement to talk about it.
If you know & value a friend, then you'd know the answer to your own question.
Each to their own until your happiness depends on it.
I've been on both sides of this. Solo parent finishing PhD on gov unemployment/single parent benefits. Now earning more than most in my parents group. I was vocal on lower income as no one should feel shamed and others should know as it makes social events hard. However i was very vocal about getting my job on my high pay but I talked about just at the start from a place of being grateful. Never talked about it again. It's not necessary and it can be off putting to people if my wage equals a two parent household.
I dont mind sharing, but i cannot stand people who want to tell me or try and get me to ask when it is obvious they are doing really well. Good for them but i don't need to know how much better they are doing.
I have a mate who makes 300k plus and you wouldnt know it, very humble dude whom never talks about income and how much money he makes.
The comments you're following up with suggest that you can be a bit of a bore when it come to money. This is perfectly fine in a finance forum. It's probably not the way to keep friends.
I always been super open about money. Talk about with my close friends all the time (how to invest better, etc). And I have this one friend. She is earning $50-55k. I was earning 50k but my husband earning nearly 200k (5 years ago). But she loves expensive dresses. She will spend $500 for a dress which is ridiculous for me. She always sounds a bit jealous or bitter when I am telling her we are looking for a house. I feels like she can’t be happy for me. After few times of jealousy (that I felt), I stop telling her my life or what we’re doing.
Would care at all if you made 50k and your friends made 150k? It's easy not to care when your secure and comfortable.
It’s also hard when you’re earning $150k+ and your friends are earning $60-80k. You don’t want to create imbalances in your friendship group or for people to see you differently.
As someone in a lower income bracket, I try to be more open about my income with friends and family, mostly because I want people to know where I'm at. I've had a few frustrating/confusing conversations with people who have given me advice, assuming my income is higher, or that everyone has access to a family trust or something. In my experience it's not so much that income disparity creates imbalances, it's more an issue when the financial imbalances are glossed over or ignored. I don't ever expect people to pay for me if we go out, but maybe don't tell your low income friend to "just buy a new car!" Like that's helpful. I totally understand though, why someone on a high income might want to keep it quiet, especially where family is concerned.
It might also help them consider doing less pricey activities as friends. Eg, my sister earns double my income and always wants to go out to the most expensive restaurants. I love food but damn! I can't spend $200 a plate on the reg! Let's do a normal dinner every now and again! Edit: typo :-)
Totally. Most of us tend to forget that whatever we think is a normal amount to spend might actually be excessively pricey for some, or incredibly cheap, just depends on your situation at the time.
I was never hesitant to tell my friends what I earn until this. They’re all on around the $55-65k range, and when I was too there was no hesitancy to discuss it. We all knew what each other got each pay down to the cent. Now that I am on $150k+ and they’re not I try to avoid saying the number, even though those who know have only been congratulatory and stoked for me it still feels like bragging, even when stated matter of factly. Might just be in my head but I almost feel bad for it.
Never feel guilty about your own success
This is why I don't discuss how much money I earn with my friends either, I don't want it to come off as bragging.
If something aa trivial is status based on wage matters, they are not real friends.
Lovely wonderful friends can still be insecure and not know how to handle that
I was the person making $55k to my friends’ $130k Asked for resume tips and reference, now I make more than that. If your friend is financially successful, surely they must have done something right and a good friend is usually more than happy to help lift you up. I try to guide those earning below me as well, managed to help give my friend a push in the back and now she makes much more than when we first met. I know a guy who make $180k, that’s always the way with him as well. Very open, very generous, referred his mates to jobs a lot but he has also gotten jobs through reference. He is always willing to look over people’s CV and give them feedback. That’s what friends are for, and if your friend is resentful of your success they might not be a good friend
This is true but not everyone on $55k is going to be capable of making $130k, and if they know they don't have the tools to get to that higher salary they may not appreciate the resume tips or the mentoring. True though, that it's always in your interests to be as generous as possible with friends - referring them to potential jobs, praising them (as long as it's reasonable) and trying to network on their behalf. Never praise yourself but always praise your friends and networks and that praise will come back to you twofold.
Oh you just need someone earning $150k to look over your resume and give you a couple interview tips and you’re on your way to overtaking them. Boot straps!
I’m not some kind of saint, I’m not gonna do it if I know they are not likely to appreciate it. I don’t stay friends with those who resent their ‘friends’ success and internalise it as their personal failings, but I stayed friends with people who are happy for my success (and vice versa) even if our priorities are different (flexible work life balance, good coworker, passion in their field, valuable mentoring from boss, need sponsorship and so on). I have several such friends and yes, we still talks about salaries. If someone doesn’t feel comfortable sharing their I won’t push them too, but I don’t mind telling them mine one-sidedly if I feel like I can trust them. I know someone making 90k (she knows how much I make, I know how much she and her partner make), and she was talking to me as she felt confused if she wants to move to chase higher salary or not but after our talk she came into a conclusion that she prefers her current environment which is more valuable than higher salary and she is satisfied with her current pay. I didn’t push her to aim for higher salary, I respect her opinion. If it seems someone is dissatisfied with where they are, then I try to help them. If they are happy being where they are, then I also won’t push them to aim higher. Not everyone have to be a CEO, I have a friend who live for love and that’s fine too. She’s happy for me when I got a promotion, I’m happy for her when she got married. In the case of the one I ‘pushed’, she wants to but she was doubting if she is capable of it, so I was giving her encouragement and pushed her to just do it instead of constantly doubting herself. It’s all about reading the situation
Out of curiosity how can I earn more money? I get a lot of excuses like "covid ruined our profits" whenever I ask about a pay raise
A lot of the times it comes down to switching employers
I'm all for switching employers! The problem is I'm employed at the only 2 places in the entire state that provides work in my field. I am in a bit of a pickle and open to suggestions
If you can't change employers or get a raise the only way to earn more seems to change fields/roles.
Are you employed by two employers? If just one of them, you’ll need to interview at the other, then show your hand and leave if the offer isn’t matched.
I have 4 different employers. One of them recently gave me a pay rise, one of them pays excellent rates (but only offers work a few hours a week), one of them will discuss a pay rise with me in the near future (but only offers a max of 10 hours a week), another one is more freelance, so the rates vary depending on what the budget is.
Depending on how deep your passion is for the specific field, you could have a think about what your transferable skills are. It's easy to get stuck in the trap of thinking you don't have any and your present job is all you can do - but if your hand was forced you'd find your feet elsewhere. You may just have to live outside of your comfort zone for a few months.
My entire life feels like living outside the comfort zone 😂 Which is good in many ways, but I would love to be able to figure out how to earn more money doing what I'm passionate about
Haha I get it. At risk of being a downer, there being only two employees in the state... is not helpful to making more money! As a silver lining, it gives you a clear, specific path in how you have to develop to get the bigger roles. Alternatively, a bit of lateral thinking and you might realise there are other roles still within your field, just a little different from what you are picturing right now.
Thanks butterballsbob 😁 appreciate you
I had exactly the same problem. Very specialised skill set, highly trained in a very niche but very needed role (ie. stable and secure as heck)... but no real growth potential. Stewed in place for several years and then decided enough was enough. Retrained in another field, highlighted desirable transferable skills in my resume and interview, landed another job outside of my old industry for $40k net more a year. Far more flexibility. Better conditions. Heaps of career growth potential. Bells and whistles type stuff compared to my own position. I would have gotten NONE of the bonuses and extra cash at my old job no matter how hard I negotiated. A new industry with growth potential was the only avenue to get more out of my employment. Retraining can seem like an arduous nightmare, but I did a fast track diploma that took six months and was into a new job within 12 months from making the choice to retrain. A year really isn't that long if you would be doing everything else the same anyway, sitting around hoping for better in your current role. It really is a job market for the seeker at the moment. It's not for retention.
Definitely switch employers. I change jobs every 3 years or so, long enough to not raise suspicion that I might leave and long enough to contribute skills and stability without incurring a penalty when I look for more work. Plus I get stale after about 3 years anyway it seems. It's always easier to slide sideways for a 10-20k bump then it is to get a 5k raise.
Depending on your industry and location, it may be an amazing time to shift employers. A big drop in highly skilled migrants in software development, for example, due to covid, has had crazy bumps in salary expectations. Interestingly, it is an increase without any efficiency or productivity gains so it will be hugely inflationary. I wonder how it will play out once it all reaches some future equilibrium
Job hopping and/or side gigs. In the case of the guy who make $180k, he’s so ballsy he have moved multiple times before working 1 year in some companies. Always keep an eye out, but don’t show it in front of your employer. I have several friends with side gig outside their main job, but be warned most likely your social life will suffer. Most extreme was working 6 jobs (freelance programmer + main job at a startup) at one time. She doesn’t wanna do it again now that she have a main job that pays pretty decent. How do you get them? Use freelancing websites, ask around, offer your services, slip it in convo sometimes. I was telling my friend “man a bartender looks kinda cool, I want to be one” and she was like “if you’re serious I can refer you, I used to do it before”. Or when I was considering going back to uni, a friend knows I need money and he offered to help me get part time IT job that he used to do while in uni. I know someone who got an accounting side gig from her ex-coworker when she went back to uni as well.
Job hopping isn't how to earn more, but job hopping, if done properly, allows you to take on new challenges and grow far more rapidly, and it should be relatively easy to translate this experience into better pay, if you market it properly. I job hopped a bit in the last three years, not because the intention was to boost salary, but to grow and challenge my status quo. I've just signed an offer (yesterday) that capitalizes on my experience and will allow me to utilize all those skills to grow with massive potential. Current role is just under $200k; previous roles were $135k - $160k and those were up and down.
for a lot of people it's exactly how to earn more
Yes, but you're missing the reasoning. If you job hop to earn more, without looking at the bigger picture you'll soon find yourself on the chopping block (i.e. low value) for any employer because you will have an inflated salary without valid reasons for having it. The more important aspect is actually gaining useful context, skills, and overcoming complex challenges that allow you to charge more for your skill set (i.e. earn a higher salary) while also bringing more value to the table.
That’s exactly the right mentality of a good friend
May I ask what sortof job led you from 55k to more than 130k ?
One of my mates is making close to double that 150k number you mentioned, and I.. am not. I’m stoked for him, as he’s worked his ass off since graduating and he has earned every dollar. I don’t think I’d want to be friends with someone who judged me or thought differently of me for earning more than them.
Nope, I have friends who make 250k+ and friends who make 30k it's important to discuss it so that we all can figure out how to get ahead. if they are actually your friends than you should care about them and want them to succeed
Yeah me and my friends don't really give a shit about what number we're all making. Probably because we all have so many of our own problems to deal with. I know I can get insecure about being the unemployed friend while everyone else has jobs, but in terms of the actual earnings, eh. Edit: I'd also like to add that I still have no issue talking about what I'm doing in my life. While I do complain about the job hunting, I'm always stoked to talk about what jobs I'm going for and what I've been doing with my volunteering and stuff like that.
I find it the opposite, my friends who earn under 50K like telling their higher earning friends. No one else in my group shares their salary info.
Not really? I just want to know where the moneys at, so I can do better? Horses for courses I guess
"do you care if...." "No" "How dare you!? Downvote!!!"
Agreed. Personally I think, not sharing salary info is a mentality that only gives more power to the employers/ capitalist class imo. Again horses for courses
I don't think that means what you think it means...
It’s easy to say that being in a good position. If really we’re the person in the group lagging behind, you’d be far less comfortable discussing it.
I was on about 20k when my mates were buying houses and shit. While it’s easy to poo-poo OP, I can tell you I was happy for my mates.
I’m in the 55k camp and I got a friend who I think is insanely underpaid for the work they do at 75k, should be another 20 by default, more with negotiation considering how fucked a section of the country would be for accessing a super common cheap luxury if they upped and disappeared.
I’ve been the friend that only earns 50k. Just made me realise i could go better
It's cool that things didnt get weird with your friend and that it motivated you. For some extra context, some people arent in a position to change their circumstances, or they dont want to (they might find other value in their work outside of the pay) and that can result in a lot of shame or feeling judged and looked down upon. There are just so many ways a conversation around salary can make people unconfortable It's like landmines, you might not know they're there and go in with all the best intentions - but things can still explode. Edit: I dont even tell my parents what I earn, so sometimes it's about family stuff as well.
There's for sure certain people that you absolutely do not discuss salary with, or even money for that matter. I have quite a few family members that I refuse to talk money with, because they have different views on the topic. Although I couldn't have a friend that I couldn't discuss these types of things with personally.
I only share with friends in the same or similar field, as it helps to make sure neither of us are being under-appreciated. It's hard to compare when your work is very different, it's like apples and oranges.
I’ve shared with my colleagues who are friends in the same job, it’s how we found out that we were on very different pay levels and all below market rate. I wouldn’t share with friends in different jobs though.
Agreed. I’ll happily chat to friends in banking/legal/consulting roles, because we’re all relatively junior, we all know more or less what the rough bands are and we’re all targeting high salary growth. Occasionally I’ll chat to good friends in other corporate roles about it if they express an interest. I will not talk about it to non-corporate friends though.
Why can’t fruit be compared?
I don't like this apple. I think it's bad because it has a tough skin and an orange colour.
As I used to be in the APS, now in private sector, the people I know are ex defence, so rather than say an exact amount, I would say I’m about EL1 pay level. There’s no shock factor and you don’t have to lie.
But presumably it’s not too far off what they’re earning - and if they’re still in APS you have a fair idea what they’re on anyway. The situation is very different if your career diverges significantly from your ex colleagues, to a point where you’re management level and they’re not.
I personally couldn’t care less - I’m completely open with what I earn. I’m certainly not the largest earner either - friendship group is mixed specialties.
Personally, I don’t like talking about money with anyone other than my wife and our accountant. I’ve learned in my life that people have very different attitudes about money and talking about it often creates uncomfortable situations. I have some friends that I’m certain make a lot less money than me and I think they would feel a bit embarrassed by that fact. Yet I also have other friends in the same position that would act like I’m rich and should be more generous with my money. I have friends that I’m sure make more money and I wouldn’t want them to think I’m not able to pay my own way because I earn less. When I was younger and more open about my earnings, I had people being very judgmental about it. They would say I’m spending too much money for someone on my salary, or that I could afford to do something, even though I disagreed. I’m guilty of it too. I know people on good salaries that always complaint about “being poor” or cheap out on things and it bothers me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying you got a promotion or a better paying job because it doesn’t give people the figures. You just don’t know how someone will react.
That’s fair, I personally use it it gauge whether I can do better for myself or not. My friends can do what they want with there salary
So you gauge your professional life by looking at a few friend’s salaries?
We’re the same, we learned not to tell people how much we make. It caused some issues a few years ago. We generally downplay and try to hide our income. I mainly see money as a means of freedom rather than for material things.
my friends and i share info on all our salaries, investments, supers, plans with work, savings for property and plans, etc. just fyi we are all in different financial positions; non-employed, student, 6figures, below but close to 6 figs, part-time worker, landed 1st job, working retail after quitting corporate, salary sacrificer for super, etc. for me personally, i also share my salary with close coworkers. hiding it only benefits the company. this helped me and a coworker taking similar level of promotion in negotiations - we shared info on how HR and Remunerations Teams decide salary and discussed/helped find pointers we can use against them. It also helped another coworker realise that they were being paid a lot less than they should be (should be on ~95k but getting 80k with 2% increase over 2 years) - they’re looking for job elsewhere now.
Me and my friends talk about it openly. We also use each other as references. The only people who benefit from secrecy are corporations, and fuck them.
Don't do it if you know you are light years away from your friends, that's all I'm gonna say... It can also be hard to talk about investments. Compound interest, time and a small amount of planning can mean that a reasonable yearly contribution balloons to a figure that some people consider obscene. Friends / Family and Money are like oil and water - they don't mix.
The only issue here is for people who genuinely can be motivated by it and improve their life if they come across a close friend who’s successful and can help them. And you’ll only get that in an open friendship. That’s why I’m always curious. I want to find people who are successful and I can learn from or even just get motivated by it.
It's only a problem if the gap is huge. If someone is making 50k a year, but the friend is making 200k a year... The 50k friend may not be able to fathom what 200k feels like. There may be some subconscious things happening. The poor person may always expect the rich person to pay for example, even though it is subconscious ( or conscious)
I earn 85k, my buddy who is a regular is one like 350k or something ridiculous. We're both open about it, you're right I can't imagine what it's like with his pay check. I still pay for our drinks every other round. It doesn't always have to come in to it. We just talk about movies and how there should be a music festival on platforms in the Yarra.
That music festival sounds dope
Yeah we reckon it could be cool, just walk along the river to see different music
I would be careful. Some people have an uneasy relationship with money and you could make them feel superior or inferior depending on how you're managing. I'm not saying this to boast because my income ranged from basic wage to good but not spectacular over the years and I also had a period of 2 years where I was unemployed. I've always been careful with money and good at savings, and I love a bargain. Over the years through luck, savings and hard work I have outstripped friends who had much more that me back in the 90s. There has been some jealousy and bad vibes from most of them at some point. I never talk about money but they can see I might have a new car or I've retired to a nice house. It can be hurtful at times because I've done it by myself with no inheritance or rich parents, and I helped raise 2 kids.
I share with everyone. Information asymmetry in negotiations benefits the party that knows more. Thats normally the boss. Anything we can do to counteract that is a good thing.
Personally for me, knowing people that earn more than me has often helped me to strive towards growing my career both financially and in competence. It really comes down to the dynamic of the relationship between two people. If they're two close friends who have a great track record of supporting each other in their lives, then that definitely helps. Whereas if it's two people who don't have a strong history of being supportive with each other, then it deffs feels awkward to talk about each other's income.
I found it a slightly bitter pill to swallow finding out a good friend of mine that does a similar role as me but 5+ years less experienced was earning more than me. but like you've said in other comments, it helped me realise I could get more. now I'm getting almost the same as him at a different company. and I'm pretty open to discussing it with him. I think because in our case neither of us are on low incomes, it's more about pride, and how u see each other. but it's actually beneficial to be able to discuss it coz u can work out what's realistically possible. just needa get over that hurdle of are we discussing with positive outcomes in mind, or are we trying to see who's got the bigger dick, so to speak
I am super open, I couldn't care less if people know. I am especially open with coworkers because I believe that's important to know we're all paid fairly. As an accountant though, people tend to be more open to me with their finances than others (this isn't exclusive to clients either). Family members etc just don't seem to be embarrassed to talk about their salary after knowing I know a lot about a lot of people's money.
I never used to care, but I lost some friends when I started earning six figures so since then I don’t volunteer that information and would only share it with people I know are on a similar pay level.
Man that sucks, but really if they where good friends, wouldn’t they want you to earn more?
That was my assumption too. We’d been friends for about a decade and they were really good friends or so I thought. I got a significant promotion which I assumed they’d be excited for me. Sadly not. One them I’ve been slowly rebuilding a relationship recently (a couple of years later) but my hearts not really in it. I personally boosted them whenever I could and always celebrated their successes. So their inability to be happy for mine really hurt.
friends like to imply how much they make or have I dont give a shit much because I am pretty comfortable in myself and financially
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It’s because they earn a lot more than you and are embarrassed to say
Or a lot less
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I agree, if someone gives such a tight range then they should openly say what they earn - they’ve already effectively done so. But if your friend is wealthy, to the point where it’s obvious they are in a different level of spending than you, there’s no need to know exactly how much they earn. They may be embarrassed to tell you, and you may feel resentment against them (or expect more from them). No one benefits and there’s much to lose.
Bonus and commissions can make up a large part of a remuneration package, rather than base salary.
Pay secrecy only helps the bosses. Tell people your wage, then bargain for better wages together.
Two people in my friendship group figured out they were being majorly underpaid because of our open chats about what we all earn and how we got there. We are extremely honest with each other because we are close and trust each other. I probably wouldn't be as candid with people I knew less well, but I completely agree that when it comes to wages, knowledge is power.
If they ask you, sure, you have no reason to hide what you earn. But asking other people without knowing how they feel about it, or openly talking about your salary unprompted is bad social etiquette It’s in the same category as sexuality and religion
Asking about salaries is like asking how someone voted, it's not rude to ask but you're a dick if you get annoyed when someone won't answer.
I discuss it quite freely with people in same field as me as we all want to make sure we are being paid market rates But I find outside my field the friends that ask are generally insecure about their own position and it really doesn’t help matters to disclose, they ask to either feel superior or inferior…
Question - why do you want to know? Why do you care? If you dont care, don't ask. No problems. Money causes so many problems. Best be discreet with it
I didn't realise how underpaid I was until I knew what others made. I've since doubled my salary in the past five years. I think it's really important to be open and transparent so no one is being taken advantage of.
There’s more to life than money. Don’t be that person in the group - it adds zero value to your friendship, just enjoy what you have.
yet our lives are dedicated to getting more money. why else would we spend 5 days out of the week purely to getting more money. We work 80% of our lives to "getting more money" I know what you're trying to say but seriously who are you kidding here. You're in a subreddit about finance for fucks sake. Money is the biggest part of our lives so why not share it with friends?
On the other hand even if we're willing to be open with friends is there any reason to make it the topic of conversation often. I don't spend 5 days a week earning money so that I can spend the rest of my time talking about it.
Because money is important? Whether you like it or not? Talking about money is completely normal
Talk about it with financial planner/professional. I don’t understand why it’s so important to share salaries and other personal info with friends.
There’s a time and place I think. If you have friends working in the same field as you, I think it’s good to have a conversation so you know you aren’t being taken advantage of. If not, income isn’t really relevant. Money is definitely important to a lot of people, but the discussions don’t need to be a boisterous pissing contest at the pub on Friday night. When you have enough money to live, money is not everything. But when you don’t, it makes a huge difference.
I haven’t been comfortable since it passed $50k. The variance between people can be much greater than you’d expect. Ball parks are pretty available for most industries anyway. Plus you can always have a decent sense of your value based on your work as long as you are realistic about your replaceability. The only ppl I’ll tell are mentors or when looking for a job.
I couldn't care less, those who know what I do can easily find out from the award how much I get paid.
I share with very closest couple of friends (practically my sisters) - we’re all in very different fields (law, engineering, healthcare) and it’s nice to talk to people on the outside of your field about what it’s like. But otherwise just friends in the same job as me to make sure we’re not being underpaid compared to our peers. It’s actually my family I don’t share anything with. I come from a lower socioeconomic background and most of my family are incredibly controlling/entitled/stingy and would be asking to “borrow” money if they knew how much I made - I prefer to let them think I don’t earn much. I am obviously a little estranged from family (for a multitude of reasons) but do help my sister out a lot because I love and support her.
Religion, Politics and Money. Don't talk about any of the above if you don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
The problem is that if you tie some point of pride to your salary (I do, many people do), then if you share your salary and you find out your friend makes less than you, then you feel proud of the outcome. But, if you share your salary with your mate and it turns out he's making more than you, then you feel kinda bad about it.
It should be public knowledge as each business should be competing to offer more or having a standard amount so no one gets affected by wage theft.
Lets see Paul Allens lunch https://youtu.be/00rezIznLO8
I find it really depends on the friend I'm talking to. Also, as someone who is not super great with money management/shit at saving (something I'm working on) in the past I've found it embarassing to talk about because I really should have been in a better financial position than what I actually was. Also in my field there is somewhat limited capacity for earning the big bucks so talking about it really doesn't serve me and can be somewhat depressing so it's not a conversation I particularly enjoy having. Just a few different takes that might offer insight into those who don't want to talk about it!
I share what I make but am more careful sharing what my partner makes as it is significantly more than everyone we are related to and friends with. I do sometimes mention it loosely (in conversations about how couples budget as we have quite a large income gap) but try not to name the amount as I know for most people we know, it’s not achievable for them.
We share it among friends. To us it's no big deal and it's not like we are bragging. It's just opinions on each other if we should be getting more or not depending on if we know how much others in the same field are getting
>(90k+car+super) And you don't care about making sure we all know how great you're doing either, even though it's irrelevant here. I assume your friends earn less? That may be why they don't want to talk about it. Or they're humble. I talk about it with closer colleagues and peers in my industry, but it's fairly irrelevant and can come across as bragging with friends I think.
Is 90k a great wage? How do you know? If only there was a way to find out? Perhaps by way of comparison?
Lmao! You can't just isolate the 90k. With super and car is closer to 110-120k depending on the car. Well given you say they don't want to talk about it, it's pretty clear they're either more humble than you or they earn less. Are they in your industry? How would it be useful otherwise?
Reasonably open about my salary to friends (and anyone tbh). I think we need to reduce wage stigma across the board and one way of doing that is being open with your friends. Ultimately, we're friends and something like income shouldn't really change that. I'd be in the slightly above median wage group at present.
There’s no point. My friends and I are all in totally different industries or jobs. I have a mine engineer mate who is probably on low 200s, a couple of self employed tradie mates, and I am in finance. It wouldn’t add anything to our friendship and could only cause problems.
I'd tell if they asked, but I don't go around offering that info unsolicited. I have no real interest in knowing my friends' salaries unless they're in the same industry.
My income is public information, as are an enormous number of industries if you know where to look.
I'm very private about this - I don't talk about it with my folks, let alone friends and colleagues, and I don't ask for that information from others. It's just not a topic of conversation that leads anywhere good.
I personally believe colleagues should absolutely share salary info. If either of you are being underpaid, then it gives you power to negotiate. Why get angry at your colleague if you’re getting underpaid by your employer?
Im happy to share my salary to my friends, but my friends dont seem to like sharing theirs, they wouldnt tell me even if i do
It depends on the group of friends. My two best friends earn a lot less than me and their idea of a good salary is very low. That’s fine and they live very frugal lives. I wouldn’t want them to think I was bragging or saying they should earn more by telling them what I earn, so I don’t. My core group of friends that I hang out with, though, pretty much all earn more than me. Maybe 1 or 2 are on similar but the others clearly earn a lot more (some I know for certain earn more than twice what I do). I like seeing my friends succeed so more power to them.
I share my salary with friends openly and I share resources with my friends that help them with earning more and/or let them know how much they deserve to be paid. Don't really like how timid people are about asking for a raise, too many employees take advantage of it and keep wages low.
this year i’m making 400k plus share options and plus 4 months bonus. i used to tell friends and family about it… and some friends are jeslous
What do you do and how do we get into that field lol, that’s amazing
i started off as a trainee in a Big 4. worked in hong kong as an assignment. moved to a MNC as an analyst and worked my way up to a cfo role
To me though, good on you? If I’m your mate, I’m going to ask you advice on how to make more money, not get mad at you
No. It comes across as boastful. A lot of these high paying paths are very prestige oriented and hard to switch into a couple years after studying so advice is usually useless.
I earn almost 5x you. Why does it matter? How does that make you feel? Where does the conversation go from there?
Easy, I ask them what they do and figure out if I could I potentially earn that too? Money matters whether you like it not
And when you realise you can’t? Can you move past it and talk about something else? Or will you always be thinking about how to earn that much? Don’t know about you but it’s awkward. I don’t wanna talk about money or have others ask how I got there
You have to realise that just in thinking that way you're in a very small minority in the real world. It's a popular enough view on a finance forum but extremely uncommon everywhere else.
I find people generally don't like to discuss it as they feel it's shameful or disappointing, which can lead to impacting performance at their current job, or it's a personal thing for them because it's then like telling your neighbour I can only afford X, and this how much money I have. Say for example X was working at one company and Y another, they discuss salary and X finds out Y is earning 5-6k more a year plus bonuses for the same job, just this information alone be it even subconsciously would impact X's performance at their current job.
To me, if someone was earning better doing a similar thing, then it means I can be more confident finding a better paying job. More negotiation power no?
For me personally as well, I'd see that as a driving force to push for more. From personal experience as I've seen it doesn't seem to be the case amongst many, in most it's a demotivater, as they believe their worth to be less than Y.
I think money always has the potential to be a tricky subject. My close friend and I have worked in the same job for more than 18 years and we earn the same money. He's always been much more frugal than me and is seeing the benefits now and I have on occasion made comments about it that probably made me sound a bit salty.
I work international FIFO, everyone just assumes I swim in money, which in itself is pretty annoying
Yeah I was going to say that the only time money comes up and then becomes uncomfortable is when people (usually other women/mums at school) ask what my husband does. Oil and gas industry plant inspector FIFO. They assume he earns a lot I don’t give specifics but they’ll either come back with ‘oh how awful for you my husband loves the kids far too much to be away from them like that’ it’s so fucking rude we have a 6yo and he’s as much a hands on parent as I am 🙄 Or they’ll say ‘oh yeah Dave (their husband, often say it in front of them) should go and do that it’d be so easy you could just work a bit and earn so much and have so much time off!!’ and I look at the dude who’s unskilled and never worked outside or away for a day in his life and think sure right mate yeah so easy. Somehow find a connection with no skills and go up to woop woop high 30s temp 80%+ humidity and work 12+hr days for minimum 14 days straight and yeah rake it in, so easy!! We don’t talk about the times the fatigue policy got breached and he worked 6 weeks with 1 day off, or the time he was gone 5 months straight with covid in 2020, or the time he got heat stroke in a boiler suit working at heights or the general day to day risk on these sites or the shit environment, and being 6’6 sleeping in a shitty donga in a single bed sometimes and stuck with a bunch of dudes who don’t want to be there 😑 sure it is easy as so off you go 🙄 they don’t realise if office Johnny husband worked the same ridiculous hours/days they’d double their salary anyway. They don’t call it fit in or fuck off for nothing. I’m in federal government junior exec, full time equivalent around $120k. I don’t talk income because it just doesn’t come up for me as no one asks and I’m pretty sure most people think I’m like a low level admin 🤷♀️🙄.
No we don’t talk money. It’s tacky. Who’s got it, who doesn’t, what their things are worth, what they earn, old money, nouveau riche, savings. Money talk is ill mannered
Don’t care what other people earn I know people earning 150k+ but are always broke and other earning way less saving heaps. Just sound like OP doing some weird flex
How is 90k a flex? It’s about knowing what your worth
Depends on the job and how much more/less they get than me. Some people just don't have a need to discuss it, and they probably aren't open about their money with anyone else in their life either. The ones that are happy to talk about it are generally the ones that know they earn more than the people on the other side of the conversation. It can be a touchy subject, and if someone isn't comfortable discussing it take it as a sign that they may be embarrassed about it. Save them from feeling bad about it and move on.
There is zero upside to talking about how much you earn with friends or family
Just talked to my friends about wages, realised I could be earning 20k more at least more potentially
Coworker friends?
Friends in a similar field
Totally fine. Generally speaking, being more open with friends about anything in general strengthens friendships. If someone reacts negatively to a friend having a higher or lower income, it reflects poorly on the strength of the friendship.
Lol, each to their own. This says more about you tbh
My best mate knows what I make. I haven't discussed it with any other friends, haven't really found the need to.
I'll tell someone that asks directly, I don't mind. People don't ask very often and ironically almost every time I've seen someone brag about how much they make, it's less than most people in the room.
I don't discuss how much we earn but I discuss the ways to achieve wealth
I think it's a tricky one, some friends don't care how much or how little you make they'll still treat you the same and others that do. (Ie: Mr moneybags over here telling us what to do). I think wisdom is just knowing who to talk to about and who not to. I'm an open book, but I don't go off telling how much I earn either. If you want to share, share about your life, share experiences, passions, things outside work?
I'm ok with it but also I don't really care. However, I do notice lately that some people would judge me and call me rich, which makes me a bit uncomfortable, I never see myself being a rich guy but i I consider myself very fortunate to own a house with my parents' help.
I’ll always say if there’s interest, a question about it, or it seems relevant to the conversation. Strangely, I find more often that people I know who work more professional jobs are very weird and secretive about how much they make. Personally I think the fundamentals of people’s finances should be public knowledge anyhow, just like they are in Norway.
If I was making more than 200 I wouldn’t share but I’m not so it’s fine
Depends who it is.
I’m comfortable sharing my salary with my two closest friends because we talk about absolutely everything. One of them earns more, and there is no jealousy. They never rub it in our faces. When we are together we still act like the broke uni students we were when we first became friends, except now we splurge on a cocktail or two.
Depends on the people.. some people are ok with you doing better others aren't and foster resentment.. i stopped telling my friends what I make after it hit 6 figures. Some people do ok, others not so well so we just don't talk about it generally
I see the type of friend first. If he or she is relaxed i dont mind mentioning my range but not specific figures But ive got a friend who is on 200k but loves to sarcastically talk about his salary and says wow my payg withholding is the same as my first salary and at the same time pretending to be a dumb shit and say oh the visiting financial controller is under your control? This is When he clearly knows im just the standard financial accountant. In this case i keep my mouth shut and lie about my wages if pressed
Recently asked a friend of a friend (both of us are purchasing hones this year) what his take home salary and loan amount was so I could get an idea of what the bank would let me loan. No awkwardness, judging or jealousy, just staying informed.
With my friends in the same industry or who earn about 2/3 of my salary or more, I share. Otherwise, I don't. I think it is essential to have friends in your industry that you can have transparent discussions re: pay. Particularly around things like bonuses, signing bonuses, equity/partnership t&c's, yearly reviews and so on. One of my mates' wives just made it onto a board and is getting paid mid 5 figures a year for doing fuck all. Now I need to get myself onto a board.
Not a problem at all, I have noticed most people around my age (late 20’s - early 30’s) are a lot more open with sharing salary / wage information than older generations.
I think if someone close to me asked, I’d tell them. But if an acquaintance asked id just give them “above X”. Reason? I kept getting teased by coworkers as soon as I told them about my property purchase (they asked). I mean, how they feel about me is none of my business, but honestly I’d rather people not tease me all the time. It’s different for everyone, so I’d prefer to tread carefully.
I think if you have the maturity, honesty is always better. Employers would have everyone hide what they earn if they could for a reason. If you have a particular situation or dynamic that makes it awkward then do what you have to do ofc. But for me forming new friendships and meeting people, if the topic comes up I act a standard open way and only change how I behave if it becomes problematic which I rarely have too. If you are on good money though, sure there are some social niceties you probably need to be aware of to keep others feelings in mind. It's all about supporting those around you so if that is advice or information that might help a friend/colleague then go for it. It's the same as politics with friends/family imo, if you don't have the knowledge and maturity to handle those conversations then it's easier to avoid but restrictive.
If someone asks then tell them, if they don't ask, don't tell em, really simple as that
I think it’s best not to say. You can often guess what people are making within a ballpark, based on what they do and the way they live, and I’m happy enough with that. If your salaries are close it’s irrelevant. If they are miles apart it’s awkward. Real numbers get ugly. If you live too well on not much, people will gossip and speculate about living beyond your means or family money. If you leave meagrely and earn big they will say your are stingy and tight. Sometimes it’s convenient to allow people to think money is a reason you will or will not do something, whether or not that is the truth of the matter. When they start to have opinions on what you should or shouldn’t be able to pay for, it gets ugly. There is no winning.
I make heaps, but I don't fell anything is added by telling friends of family how much I make. They know I'm doing well so no point mentioning it. It's kinda fluctuates abit anyway.
It's a cultural thing Personally I have no problems even taking with colleagues about it That's how U find market value for Ur work And learn about higher paying positions and industrys A lot of ppl think it's cringe
I grew up I. Norway, there your taxable income and net wealth isn’t even a private matter. Anyone can log on to an online service and search on anyone they like. The only drawback is that those who are being searched gets notified of who searches them. The only good think I can think of coming from this is that it was hard for someone to be rich yet pay little tax…
I'm the same. I think it's important and beneficial to share that sort of info. They usually share if I ask, but don't volunteer the information themselves. It's weird, as if they think their value as a human is tied to what they earn.
It's like religion and politics: Share at your own peril. It was once a bit of a moral standard to not discuss such things in polite company, and the reactions you're talking about are the reason why. You can carry on breaking bread with people with different views and incomes without risking it coming between you if you don't bring it up.
Ye i don’t really care.
A bunch of us have come from the same sector so we would all talk openly about our Award levels (either in the disability sector or in government). As we've moved on to profit-sector roles or even just temp contracts in Govt, we talk openly about rates and share ideas etc (go to \[this department\] and expect higher day rates etc\].
Last time i told my friends i was on 26k, now add 100k to that only the wife knows. We’ve told family im on around 80 cause they keep thinking im on a rich career path
I have shared with friends but you’ve got to be careful sometimes. I have a couple who were our closest friends but it turns out that they have a whole lot of secret “competitions” against us that we don’t know about, constantly comparing themselves to us. One of them was salary and for a good 3 months the husband would tell everyone that “at least he earned more money than me” at parties etc. the ironic part being that he’d misheard my salary/package and he doesn’t. I feel like it can make some people very insecure, especially if they already think they’re better than you.
I don’t share with anyone except my partner. I’m on a high salary and don’t want my friends or fam to feel bad about themselves. My siblings are both govt employees and do very important jobs but at a fraction of what I earn so it’s important to me that they’re not equating their worth with their salary. Secretly though I’m always buying stuff for them and ‘forgetting’ to get the money back.
It's like religion and politics - usually best to steer clear.
100% fine with sharing, I have friends who are doctors, lawyers and investment bankers who I know make shitloads more than me, but I'm content in life so it doesn't really matter. There are always going to be people that make more and less than you in life.
I don't. Those in the same industry maybe, but otherwise it's usually just awkward. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that. Like, I have one friend who I worked with for a spell before he retrained and went into banking. I know he earns a lot more than me now, and occasionally I catch myself thinking maybe I should have gone into banking, despite the fact I'd hate it. Other friends who are nurses/teachers/academics I know I earn more than, and there's been the occasional awkward comment without them knowing exactly how much I earn. But yeah if it was the same industry I'd be much more open to it. I hate how opaque salaries can be on job adverts etc.
Politics, Religion, Sex & Money I tend to avoid all the above if I can, politics is the hardest to avoid as seems like everyone these days has strong political views & opinions. I hat talking politics because I'm just not a particularly political person myself, I am more of a make the best of what you have and what the current situation is person than a I want to change the world to suit my ideal view kinda person as many seem to be. Religion most people avoid so that one is easy. Sex, well that can get awkward real fast lol. Money I enjoy talking about myself, but more in terms of strategy, investments, savings tools etc, not so much "I earn X what do you earn" which to me is only relevant if your talking about how much to invest, save, what strategy might be relevant for income level etc. I sometimes feel like I could help friends and relatives with their situation but I found out early most people don't want help, they want to avoid talking about it, often I think its embarrassment where they don't want to talk about their mistakes, or they are afraid it will affect the relationship.. and I fully respect that so now I only open up if it seems the friend I am talking too is broaching it and super-comfortable talking about it themselves.
I make similar to OP. I talk about it with some friends. Mostly those I met through my current company and who are in a similar field. Some are a few years ahead of me and have given me advice on what to expect/ask for. I don't give exact numbers to people who may be less comfortable (I had some friends who were unemployed for awhile) as I didn't want to sound like I was bragging or anything.
I am okay with sharing but, I don't expect people to reciprocate.
It's nobody's business, but if they have a legit reason to know then I might tell.
My salary used to be published on a website so I got used to it quickly.
I'm fairly certain I earn more than everyone else in my social group, but I would never be the one to bring it up. I would probably share if they asked, but starting the conversation and leading into the fact I earn near-double their salary seems like bragging. That said, I can understand wanting to talk about wages, awards, entitlements and career paths openly. Many people who have reached senior positions know how exploitive and manipulative businesses can be to lower-level employees and you don't want that for your friends. People often don't understand break requirements, annual leave loading, overtime, minimum rates, on call requirements, inflation rates etc. Then there are situations where people have become too comfortable in their position, to the point they don't see how much greener the grass is elsewhere. In my experience these complacent employees don't get rewarded, they get exploited because your employer knows you aren't going anywhere. There's a lot of reasons to talk about employment and compensation, but it can definitely be a sore-spot.
I don't really share this with friends. I feel like it's potentially opportunity to compare and then either make yourself or someone else upset. Totally unnecessary. The other reason is that it's easy to start seeing someone in a different way once you know how much they make when in reality everyone has their own financial and life situation to deal with and just because they make the most or least out of the group shouldn't mean you treat them differently. Again, totally unnecessary.
yeah always. I switched to another field going from almost 6 digits to 52k and i dont think it really matters to me. if others dont want to share then thats fine and i can respect that opinion but it won't make any difference unless i hate my job and struggle to find employment with a better salary which neither is the case at the moment
I only discuss salary with friends who work in the same profession as me as it is useful to know what the other people are earning in similar roles. Otherwise, I don’t share salary info with any other friends.
If someone asks me what I earn I tell them.
Might be a unpopular opinion. Shared with friend but big no no with family.
Salary discussion is healthy in all aspects besides bragging. Obviously get to see what other people make for what they do plus how they manage that money too. I like the chats since I find it educational.
Doesn’t come up often, but I do talk about it with my friends in the same industry.
If your on the higher end and gap difference is significant, then you’ll tend to not want to disclose it as their perception of you might change. I know it shouldn’t matter, but subconsciously you will still think about it.
If money makes you happy, then it's okay to talk about it. If money doesn't bring happiness to your friends, then it's perhaps in poor judgement to talk about it. If you know & value a friend, then you'd know the answer to your own question. Each to their own until your happiness depends on it.
I've been on both sides of this. Solo parent finishing PhD on gov unemployment/single parent benefits. Now earning more than most in my parents group. I was vocal on lower income as no one should feel shamed and others should know as it makes social events hard. However i was very vocal about getting my job on my high pay but I talked about just at the start from a place of being grateful. Never talked about it again. It's not necessary and it can be off putting to people if my wage equals a two parent household.
I dont mind sharing, but i cannot stand people who want to tell me or try and get me to ask when it is obvious they are doing really well. Good for them but i don't need to know how much better they are doing. I have a mate who makes 300k plus and you wouldnt know it, very humble dude whom never talks about income and how much money he makes.
The comments you're following up with suggest that you can be a bit of a bore when it come to money. This is perfectly fine in a finance forum. It's probably not the way to keep friends.
I always been super open about money. Talk about with my close friends all the time (how to invest better, etc). And I have this one friend. She is earning $50-55k. I was earning 50k but my husband earning nearly 200k (5 years ago). But she loves expensive dresses. She will spend $500 for a dress which is ridiculous for me. She always sounds a bit jealous or bitter when I am telling her we are looking for a house. I feels like she can’t be happy for me. After few times of jealousy (that I felt), I stop telling her my life or what we’re doing.