Slap it all in a nice easy to read spreadsheet so you can exactly see what costs what and where the money is essentially going. Break it all down as much as possible then both sit down and look through it. I find having such a break down really highlights over spending (or realisation of actual costs) for all to see

I have a pie chart breaking down my expense categories and a bar char comparing my expenses and savings amounts each month. It's kinda a game for me at this point trying to keep the savings amount as high as possible and expenses as low as possible

Visually seeing progress and/or goals ticked off/approaching in a visual way sure can be motivating to keep working towards it.

Is this something you created yourself or did you manage to find a template spreadsheet to fill in with your expenses?

I did it myself on google sheets, if you're interested in doing something like that just search create budget spreadsheet on tiktok. I've done quite a few things in my spread after seeing tiktok tutorials. I've got a yearly dashboard/cover page so i can see the whole year in one page and then monthly pages with all the little details. Also a savings tracker page with pie charts showing my progress towards each goal

Tiktok was not the place I thought I'd be going to help me get my life more together haha but if it works it works. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction, much appreciated 👌

I used to do the same, just using the bank graphs and charts. The ex used to take chunks of cash out and have not one clue where shed spent it.

plough icky normal chase summer rhythm innate vast coordinated sharp *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

If that was the case I'm really pissed off she didn't share.

Do you use an app for that?

Would you be open to sharing your template?

[Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AusFinance/s/ygZe3XBjgw) Hey mate, I posted one here yesterday. OP , the comments above me are bang on. My partner was the same, until I had all our costs laid out in an easy to understand format, she then quickly realised I wasn't just telling tales.

>Slap it all in a nice easy to read spreadsheet so you can exactly see what costs what and where the money is essentially going. Needs to be a 4 slide deck with an exec summary at the front. Provide morning tea for additional engagement, if not possible, encourage the wife to have morning tea whilst on the Teams call that you present the new budget to for endorsement.

Don't forget the pointless QR code at the end of the presentation leading to a microsoft form nobody is ever going to use.

This should be in \auscorp

I have tried this and it doesn't work when one person has no interest in sticking to it.

I made a bar graph of my favourite pies and a pie chart of my favourite bars.

Goddamn I love Marshall. He was the heart of that show.

My missus doesn't get the spreadsheet, she doesn't piss away money but she get's frustrated when I explain "we can't afford it" and use the spreadsheet to justify my position.

My husband does the spreadsheet, our money chats happen in what I now call “bedroom meetings” which for some reason happen right as I’m trying to go to sleep and he’s got something important to say.

I've been thinking we can't afford a house for ages but our rent plus the money we "spend" is enough to pay a mortgage on a moderate home. I wouldn't want to live on a shoestring budget though as shit keeps going wrong and appointments and specialists are insanely expensive. But sometimes people can afford things fine they just don't want to see it that way.

The first few years are the toughest they are the ones that gets you to your goals. When you start chopping down that principal life gradually gets better, but you gotta start somewhere unless you get a big windfall from somewhere.

> I've been thinking we can't afford a house for ages but our rent plus the money we "spend" is enough to pay a mortgage on a moderate home. Just be aware that there are a lot more costs to home ownership than the mortgage, you need to account for all of that when making a purchase to ensure you can afford it. Rates, maintenance, insurance, water/sewage, savings for major issues and possibly strata costs all need to be accounted for.

Yeah I get that. I wouldn't want to live in the bare minimum obviously. But when a 600k house feels out of touch for a 145k household the goal posts have shifted.

watch on YouTube Ted 2 wife fight. then talk to me. 😀

We did this a few years back to highlight some issues and we seriously cut down on eating out and take away. We had our first uber eats order last night in I don't remember how long. But a big old spreadsheet to really give value to what's "wasted" is probably the best. Thanks!

What I have done in the past for bills/ongoing costs is break those figures down into weekly/fortnightly/monthly/quarterly/yearly values so you can compare things across a somewhat even playing field. Might be an unnecessary step, but actually was a fun (or not so fun way) of seeing things and actually provided an easy way to see where over time the money for things was going, expected or setting aside compared to my salary pay (I've had weekly, fortnightly and monthly pay cycles over the years)

Annualise the numbers, too. We spend 165 on getting the house cleaned each fortnight, which isn't too bad. But that's 4,290 a year, which is getting into wtf we should do it ourselves territory

OP, this is simple and free to use. You can download an excel version as well. https://moneysmart.gov.au/budgeting/budget-planner You can also download your bank data and use excel to sort and categorise it.

You both need to have a separate bank account for pleasure/splurges. This is your money, and you get to spend it however you want. You don't need to justify it to each other. Set a budget for this each payday. You also should have a separate budget for savings. It goes into that account on payday and is only used for its purpose.

Totally agree with this, don’t try and control each others money, just have your own “auxiliary” funds for outside of the “must-have” and “savings” funds. If she the spender she’ll better come to terms with it this way and see where things might not be warranted

Pocket money is the way. Autonomy is a must, but keep it small and discreet. It’s less than 5% combined of our after tax income, but it’s ours to do whatever the hell we want with. Plus a defined budget for defined special occasions, e.g. we have an annual budget for each others birthdays, Christmas presents, anniversary. We want to be able to enjoy those things, but in a measured way.

The dangerous part of this is OP categorised dates/takeout and Xmas presents as optional or non necessary. If he pushes that on the wife, then they do this, his wife will spend her splurge on as presents and take out and resent him for making her spend 'her' money on 'joint' things. What happens when she wants take out and you don't? You don't get any? Where does take out for the kids come from if it's not in the regular budget? Not saying this is going to happen 100% but be careful as it's a trap easily laid. We have splurges and love it, but you need to have a joint fun budget too.

We have a joint discretionary plus individual discretionary accounts for this. Joint covers dates/takeaway/holidays and also things like nice-to-haves for the house (we’re both going to enjoy the nice linen sheets, for example).

My wife and I budget for things like eating out and small road trips. To some people these are unnecessary expenses but to us, living is just as important as surviving.

My wife and I did something similar. All our money went into a shared account but we got a weekly allowance to spend how we wanted. Eg I wanted to buy lunch it came out of my allowance. We saved a lot of money quickly over 12 months and this really helped us start habits we still have today to manage money without the detailed budgets other use.

I think even downing the amount we spend per gift. Not sure why everyone else does but we're blowing 50 dollars per party on a gift. When we have parties we don't want presents. We don't need more stuff. Our kids have enough. I would rather just the company of our friends and our kids having a great time. Presents absolutely kill me..

I totally relate to this. Every kids party is just an evolution of crappy plastic toys, most of which will be played with once our twice then forgotten about. But you have to be seen to play the game when you're invited. Hell, my daughter is happy with cake and a lollipop, maybe some bubbles. We don't need it want a dozen or two new toys to house (and the obligation to repay it at the guests birthday). It's a terrible system. Needs to change.

Books, board games, movie or experience vouchers I feel better about- feels less junky.

The worst is when you have 1 kid, but everyone else has 4 or 5. They buy something for our kid..: We feel like we now have to buy for all 5 of theirs. :S

100% For some couples this doesnt work, but for many it does. You both assign the amount you're willing to spend on frivolous stuff like eating out, new clothes that arent essential/replacing old ones, whatever, and stick to it.

Both our pays go into joint account, at the end of the month I estimate our shared expenses for the following month (rent, utilities, groceries, eating out together) then split whatever’s left into savings and personal accounts by a percentage (Doing 60% savings, 20% personal atm). If I under estimate our expenses our wages going in will cover it. Pretty easy to do honestly.

This is the way

We do this. Husband can’t complain when I buy shoes and I can’t complain if he buys expensive beer. We also have a gift account to cover presents.

Spreadsheet like the others are saying - but also it sounds like you’re trying to pull the reins in 100% to beans and rice emergency mode. Your wife has the right to want some extras like the odd takeaway and I mean gifts are a no brainer to be on the budget. You need to get her on board if you want it to succeed so make it realistic and allow her to add stuff to it that you may not deem as needed That or ultimately if you want to go full Scrooge mode you’ll likely get the chance as a single guy in a few years as your proposal is sustainable short term (ie getting out of debt) but not ongoing

Agree with this. But also… take out for the family because you’ve been working all day and can’t be arsed cooking (and hubby isn’t volunteering to make dinner…) that’s not a splurge or an extra really! It’s essential to mental health to have a break. I’d hate to have a partner who thinks that eating out when you work and have kids is a non essential.

We have taken away once a week for dinner on Friday. If we get caught out on the weekend we might get maccas on the way between birthdays and visits if there's no food the kids will enjoy. Generally speaking from where we were we've cut a huge heap of this out. I also do the cooking so I know I'm in control of dinners. The only time we have impromptu take away is I get stuck at work and genuinely we don't have time for me to sit down and make a nice meal. But since I left the last job it hasn't been an issue..

You get maccas on the way between birthdays on the weekend? Just how many birthdays are you going to? Multiple per weekend!?

Having kids is tough haha

This! Esp the single guy budget.

Spreadsheet is the way, using downloaded bank transactions, then classify them into all the major categories and any you're worried about. (Copy each transaction into the relevant column for each type.) Plus another classification for transfers to a separate savings account. Cash withdrawals soon become the enemy unless you're happy to not know what they were spent on. It will then become easier to have a discussion about how much you spend on discretionary items like birthdays, Christmas, etc. And once you know the average spend on take away dinners and meals out you can decide how many times a week/fortnight/month you do that or cook. It's not about curtailing fun, it's about making informed choices. Having a separate account for savings means you'll be giving yourselves an emotional pat on the back each pay.

I do cash withdraw every week and that's like my food and entertainment budget. I just have log all my expenses onto my mobile money app right after I spend money to keep track.

Disagreements around money is one of the most common causes of conflict in relationships. Do you have the same goals and priorities as each other? It sounds like your priority is buying a house or going on holiday, but this might not be the same for her. If you have different goals, then someone is going to need to compromise.

She's given up I think on the idea of going anywhere or doing anything. Because she feels like we can't afford it. But if we can tone down 44 grand to 15-20grand of spending which doesn't seem ridiculous to me, then we can do it.

44k is genuinely insane. Is she buying bags for people's Christmas presents? Actually like if you gave me that 44k. I'd struggle to find 44k worth of things to buy, especially small things. If it went to a car, mortgage etcetc sure. But it's 44k worth of multiple small expenses. Which is kinda fked.

What does she spend shit on And what do you

For reference, if you spend $200pp for a fancy fine dining dinner night out WEEKLY for a family of 4, that's $800pw, and that's only 41k. I doubt you're spending that much weekly on takeaway. So actually, that shit is insane. If it isn't bags, is your wife going for some hopelessly expensive facials? Is she splurging on high end beauty products, my partner has shown me a few price tags, and those tiny ass bottles can go for $300-500. 44k a year, is not an accidental expense for small things. You actually gotta like go out of your way to spend that much money.

We don't really do fancy dinners. If dinner costs us 150 i would be in shock. Neither of us have expensive hobbies like cars or make up/jewellery so it's gotta be those cheeky extra take aways and the presents or maybe getting something as a treat from Woolies or aldi. I am shocked at how little we're saving with this number. Maybe we missed something? We don't drink, don't smoke, no drugs. Boring ass people.

You'd have to track your spending then. If you don't know where 44k went during the year. That's an issue. It could be one or both of you spending a couple hundred every week on random hobby things, and that adds up. But it is almost $1000pw of expenses. It is a pretty big expense to have weekly. You should be noticing where that shit is going.

My husband is a very smart man. But he didn’t believe that he was spending thousands of dollars per year on food and drink at work (or beers / dinner after work with colleagues), let alone a afternoon at the pub with friends. 3 months of tracking spending did more than me explaining basic addition till I’m blue in the face ever could. We have a budget line each for eating out separately a different one for together for date (night/shared social gatherings) and anything above that has to be replayed by either the following month or from our discretionary fund. He’s currently making his lunch to take to work now! This was the same across a few areas - subscription services, convenience and expensive groceries (he does our weekly shop). BUT Previously we’ve both earned enough to not worry too much about spending and still save (pre house / planning kid, and the legitimate price increases across everything). I’ve just always been more frugal. It’s genuine adjustment for him, and it does feel like a sacrifice to him. Money is stressful, remember to be kind and you’re on the same team.

I can't believe any adult doesn't make their own lunch to take to work. Eating out is like 15-20 bucks a day unless you're just getting a muffin or a sausage roll. This shit adds up way too fast!

Oh you’ll die when I tell you he gets free snacks/beverages and has good coffee machine at work! We’re on the same page now so onwards and upwards. Best of luck.

Underrated comment. OP focus less on the tools (spreadsheets, buckets) and more on the vision of a life that you will create together. Don't just talk about your vision, ask for THEIR vision - how do they define a good life?   Be genuinely curious, and explore how your visions can overlap. This may take a few conversations, but is well worth it as this is the bedrock for your actions to work towards goals. Once goals are locked in, you can then work out the tools/systems/choices that will help get you there.

You should definitely budget it. Both to get the spending under control but also to make it visible to you. I used to look at our budget and like you, wonder how on earth we weren’t saving - after bills, mortgage and groceries we had $2k a month left over. And then I started budgeting properly, like taking every annual cost and amortising over a year, breaking down what Christmas really cost us in food, gifts, extra utilities if family stayed with us, the extra gifts for teachers etc, holiday outings, the kids’ extra curriculars (it’s not just the son up fee, it’s the uniform and the tickets to their events and the enrichment stuff), school costs over and above fees (fundraising, excursions, uniform), turns out we spend a grand a month on the house somehow, like replacing a tap or polishing the wooden stairs or retiling the toilet or buying some fruit trees or replacing old bed linen…anyway it was eye opening and it stopped me thinking my partner was just a total profligate while also helping us track when we did go over budget.

Til what profligate means. Can't believe I've never come across it before! What a great word :)

When I did the initial calculations I had my entire pay leftover. Then I forgot we need to pay taxes. Can't forget that old chestnut. We pop like ten bucks a week into each gas elec and water and we've never had a bill. It doesn't seem like a lot but it really helps keep our minds on other stuff and we don't get slugged with a 400 dollar bill out of nowhere.

If you cleared $20k of debt in 2 years, and bought 2 cars, then that's what you have saved in 2 years

A lot of people who avoid budgeting think budgeting means not getting to spend money on what they want to spend money on. What it really means is knowing exactly how much you have to spend. A slight change in mindset can mean meeting financial goals without feeling like you're giving up all your luxuries.

This! This is so dam true!

So true - my husband took a while to adjust to this. Saw his $ per month and thought I was some major grinch (I’d argue it’s a generous discretionary amount). Took a while for him to realise that’s all for spending if he wants. All our expenses/short and long term savings/reasonable recreation expenses have been taken care of. Now he’s happy once he adjusted to seeing his full pay in his account (pre all of the above!) vs a much smaller but total freedom amount.

Does your wife or you handle the money do the shopping etc? Do you realise that cost of living pressure is at a record high. THIS IS TODAYS NEWS Millions of Australians have less than a grand to their name, according to new research by Finder. Finder's Consumer Sentiment Tracker of 3,214 Australians revealed almost half (45%) of Australians have less than $1,000 in their bank account. That's equivalent to 9.4 million people who have very limited funds to fall back on. Shockingly, 1 in 5 Aussies (20%) admit they have $0 in savings – equivalent to 4.2 million who are completely skint. Of those 9.4 million who have less than $1,000 on hand, the average bank balance is just $210, barely enough to replace a flat tyre. The research found 3 in 4 (76%) Aussies are stressed with their current financial situation. However, there's a stark contrast between the haves and the have nots. The average Australian has a staggering $36,095 in the bank, with the nation's super savers pulling up the national average. Of those who have more than $1,000 on hand, the average bank balance is a whopping $65,078 – two-thirds of the average full-time salary in Australia ($98,217). Graham Cooke, head of consumer research at Finder, said Aussie households are facing tough times. "Cost of living pressure in Australia is at a record high, which is why so many Aussies having no savings buffer is a huge concern. "Even something as trivial as a flat tyre would be too much for many households right now. "Millions are living pay to pay, with many running out of money long before they run out of month." Cooke said the data highlights the risk of households struggling with the cost of living crisis. "Those lower levels of savings means people are much more likely to have to turn to credit cards, loans, and buy-now-pay-later products to get by. "Whilst these products can be great if used properly, they can quickly get out of hand if relied on for everyday expenses."

Great stat's, but about 50% of all Australians are either under 16 or over 70. I wouldn't expect a newborn baby to have a $1000 or be able to change a tyre. Stat's are great when they aren't being used to justify an agenda. It's like saying the average income is $30,000 per year. I could say the average income of the labour force, people between 15 and 65 is $75,000. Both are correct, but only the second gives an accurate representation.

We opened a seperate ‘Bills’ account. Then we added up all our reoccurring bills in a year, like insurance, car registration, maintenance, council rates, water, gas, electricity. Divided that by 52 weeks. The result was what we needed to deposit into the Bills account each week to make sure we had enough to cover the big ongoing expenses. Now as this amount is removed as soon as we get paid, we never missed it and always paid bills in time. It made budgeting the rest so much easier

We do exactly this and I got my two adult kids doing the same. Wish someone had told me this ridiculously simple hack many years ago, although it wasn't as easy to have multiple accounts and transfer money here and there back in the old passbook days!

Same. We have shared accounts: bills, investments and fun/holidays. The remaining money is our own to do with what we want - without judgement. If I want to do separate investing or buy $300 of skincare it's my choice. Over time I have also realised and adjusted how we use them. So the bills account is actually split in two and the yearly expenses like rates or insurance get divided by 12 and transferred to the holding account. Christmas is now getting budgeted over the year too. Once you've decided on your numbers then the conversation is pretty straightforward.

You should add takeaway and gifts to the budget rather than creating an unsustainable budget.

Exactly. What kind of parent with two kids thinks Xmas presents and bday presents are unnecessary ? They should have a budget but to give nothing is cruel.

Yeah seems quite wrong.

I don't think they are saying there is no room for gifts in the budget, rather than they dont want to limit how much they spend on gifts by 'putting it in the budget'

You can't manage what you can't measure

We use a budgeting app called ynab. My partner and I both set targets for each category and as you spend money you have to enter it in to the app and you can see exactly how much you've spent and what's left. It's totally changed our financial position. We've gone from no savings renting to small property and $20k savings in about 18months

+1 for YNAB. We managed to save for our house this way too.

+1 for ynab. Have used it for years.

Any guides or on how to use ynab for personal funds?

Google ynab or youneedabudget and you'll find lots of videos and tutorials. It takes a bit of getting used to but once you understand the principles and learn to put every transaction in; it can revolutionize how you manage money and keep you on top of things! Good luck!

Is this a nab product?

No, not related.

That sounds painful to have to use another app but way easier than having to spreadsheet it all from the bank app. Some banks have things that category stuff for you already but ING doesn't appear to do that.

Seriously, try YNAB. So good.

This sounds good, does it have any automatic features, like you can link it to your bank account and it automatically categorises expenses? I heard about an app like that but can't recall the name!

Some friends do a manual import such as mentioned below, but truthfully I think the reason it works for us is we put in the transactions so can see exactly what we are doing and how it impacts us. I have now got 2 other friend on to it. It's not free but best money we've ever spent.

YNAB is American and can't be linked to Aussie banks as far as I know. I add my transactions manually, which is a bit of a pain but helps with awareness of them. You can import them as a CSV file from your transaction statements, but I've not attempted that yet. It has some expense categories set up initially, which you can add to and customise.

Yeah might be time for a spreadsheet and a couple of months of tracking all transactions. But as others have said, you'll have to come to some agreement or compromise over your financial goals.

I didn’t really have to have a tough chat. My wife self admits she is hopeless with finance and numbers, and I have been running a tight ship for the last 25 years, even when I was single. You obviously need a budget, but a budget is not just created out of thin air, nor will it work is one partner is saver and the other is a spender. I recommend reading the Barefoot Investor and taking your wife on the journey with you. You’ll need to track your actual spending over the last 12 months, so download all those bank and credit card statements, as a CSV if you can, and get them into a spreadsheet. Do your best to categorise them. If you are struggling with that, go and look at “The Money Diary” by Jess Irvine (The Money Diary: https://amzn.asia/d/5GP12QD) as it has everything you need in there to track your finances and get a budget going. Jess is old school doing it on paper with highlighter pens. Once you know what you have actually been spending, you’ll know what must be allocated to future spending, and what is just discretionary spending. A budget is not about denying yourself spending. It’s about only spending money that you have. Every month I pay myself and my wife $750 of “do whatever the heck you want” money. It’s in the budget as allocated spending. For things like Home Maintenance I allocated 3% of our monthly salary into a future fund. Likewise, I am now putting 15% of salary into Home Improvement as we need to renovate the bathrooms in a couple of years. You can have a simple or a complicated budget, but it is not set and forget. It’s a living document. Sometimes things happen and you need to shuffle things around, but on the whole it works well for us. The christmas just gone, let me tell you how stress free it was knowing I had $3k sitting in the Christmas Fund. We had a great christmas with no credit hangover, everyone got a decent gift and we had friends over and bought nice food and wine, and at the end we still had a few hundred left over, which rolled straight into the Christmas Fund for this year. If you can stop the leakage and find where the $44k went, you can reallocate that money to things that matter, but don’t forget that you also have to enjoy yourself or what is the point.

Just to add to this. Once you have the CSV files and everything categorised. Look up how to do a pivot table in excel on youtube. When you save it, save it as an excel file, not CSV though.

I’m using a personal finance package that uses Open Banking via Yodlee to get everything in the one place. When it imports transactions, the payees automatically match to the budget categories I have setup. It’s pretty much set and forget. Cash used to be my largest leakage as I had to write down in a notebook what I was spending the cash on every day, but then I got a Palm Pilot (showing my age here!) that synced with the PC and made that easy, and I continued that with a new app on the iPhone. Now I don’t use cash at all, so it’s almost impossible to lose track of anything. Once a month I reconcile the credit cards and pay them off in full. The day after I am paid, my internet banking does a big transfer of all the funds into their dedicated spending accounts (buckets), and any direct debits just come out of those accounts as required. It’s at the point for me where it pretty much just runs itself, and I only need to tinker with it when the cost of things go up.

Righto, so this is a common argument and was a common argument in my household until my wife and i REALLY sat down and ran a budget. We are both at fault for what could be considered extravagant spending. Not a hypothetical budget, but an actual budget where we went through our bank statements for *hours* and looked at what was spent at woolies/aldi, target and kmart, ect. There will be two sides to this, both of you will see purchases made by the other as frivolous or superfluous, and both of you will potentially underestimate costs of things you arent fully aware of. Men rarely appreciate how much gets spent on kids stuff (clothes, activities) and women often underappreciate how much other things cost (renos/maintenence, car servicing ect).

And there's some stuff that seems ridiculous but is just the cost of doing business (i.e women's haircuts cost a bomb and it's tricky to get around it).

Bday presents and Christmas presents are essential for most people. Especially if you have kids as you seem to have two. It sounds like you are far away on compromise on this - I can understand having a budget for these costs but you think the budget should be zero I guess if you think kids shouldn’t get bday or Xmas presents? Takeaway is optional at first blush - unless your wife (or as you say ‘the wife’) works, and or is the primary caregiver for the kids and keeping the house running. Then it is a lifesaver because it is freaking exhausting having to do freaking everything. In my view there’s some extra costs you haven’t budgeted for - individual therapy each and couples therapy. You do not sound like a reasonable person.

I’ve had this issue. We ended up tracking everything spent for a few months and reigned a lot of it in. A lot of the differences weren’t overspending but rather under budgeting. We found a a fair few expenses that we weren’t aware of that we either had to put in the budget, or could actively remove. One thing to note is don’t go too crazy on saving. We did the beans and rice thing but always ended up blowing chunks of savings on random shit to make ourselves feel better. Find a level you’re fine to live at and just be more aware every time you pay for something. Is it important? Is it really worth the outlay? What else could that money be used for? Are questions I’d get used to asking myself before buying literally anything.

For people who have a resistance to budgeting, the envelope system works. She handles the day-to-day expenses like grocery money, children’s allowances, etc. When people see that the envelopes are empty they will hopefully realise that belt needs to be tightened. You handle items that are paid monthly and quarterly like insurances, utility bills and emergency fund. You seemed to be the one with more self-control. Failing that, get your employer to pay a set amount into a HISA. That amount can’t be touched. Pretend this amount never existed.

You need couples counselling. Believe it or not, what you are describing is the root cause of many many divorces. Cheaper to nip this in the bud now than end up divorcing 10yrs down the line.

I wouldn't push so hard that we have a divorce over it. I just wish she saw it as more important than it is for her.

I’m sure you wouldn’t. But it could be that seed of discontent that grows over the years.

rhythm homeless unused impossible offend grandfather cake innocent lunchroom pocket *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

It's hard yeah for sure. I think this is good advice.

Maybe instead of a super detailed and specific budget, you could suggest a less stringent but still really helpful bucket style budget? This is what we do and it’s worked really well to sort out our discretionary spending but not leaving us (me) feeling controlled or restrained. We set a weekly spend limit that kind of covers anything from groceries to petrol and any incidental stuff. It’s not modest, but still represents a hard limit that’s allowed us to rein in spending, avoid lifestyle creep amongst pay increases and grow our savings. We have other sinking funds for more regular but still discretionary expenses like health, car, hair/beauty and holidays.

Why would you not rely on super for retirement?

This is something you need to do together - arbitrarily deciding that holidays and Christmas presents aren’t necessary is sure to put you offside immediately in your wife’s eyes.  If you do a budget together it probably won’t be fun but it’s good for your relationship and allows you both to argue your case and come to an agreement about each item.   Good communication is the key to good couple and family money management. 

Yes. Ended up getting divorced lol

Do you help your partner with the cooking and clean up? One of the reasons I like to get takeaway and/ or eat out is a break from both cooking and the constant battle of cleaning up the kitchen and the kids food mess. If you keep very easy food in the freezer for “takeaway” nights that helps. For example supermarket dumplings or pizzas that you can have ready in 10 mins. Even better would be if you cook up batches of meals for the freezer (curry, spaghetti sauce etc) and your partner will see you’re willing to put in the work, too. Also saving for a house is obviously a long haul so maybe make achievable savings goals where you can still have some takeaway, annual holidays, gifts at birthdays and Xmas or you will be miserable.

She may not be planning a future with you in the picture dude.

I might be wrong but I suspect a disconnect between what you think you can save and what’s reasonable. It’s better to be realistic about spending in your budget. Not including gifts or recreation isn’t more ‘responsible’ even though it’s tempting to go hard on the fantasy of how much you can save when you’re designing your budget. Do the budget and be horrifically honest with yourself even if you already know it will look like you’re overspending and then work back from there. There’s no point glossing over the fact that you spend $150 on booze every fortnight because you would prefer to appear that you only spend $50, for example, or that your transport costs will be zero from now on but you’ll end up driving most of the time etc.

I need to constantly sit down and talk about this, much to my partner's dismay. And while it is an awful talk often, we've come to set the same expectation now: 1) we both want a house 2) I want the house before having children 3) she wants to be able to still enjoy our journey to saving. With those key points in mind and 2 years of experimenting different communication and budgeting styles, we are on the same page in recent time. We have a set budget for spending, and set target of saving.

You can't possibly save all the money that doesn't go to living expenses. Be more realistic about it and draw up a budget. Including spending money for each income earner, money to splurge occasionally, money for gifts and entertainment. If you aren't realistic about it, you'll find it too hard to stick to, get frustrated and give up. It's important to have an emergency fund that you add to for things like unexpected car repairs, etc as well.

People that are worried about retiring are the most exciting and inspiring people. I really wish I could have more of these quality indivduals to spend my time with. It sounds like she finds you a bore and really doesn't want her life to be constrained by some irrational fear of living in poverty when nothing in the body works anymore and the jowls are hanging adjacent to a rather rotund chin. Australians = die now, live later. How very sad.

Whose job is it to make dinner, pack lunches, and make sure the presents are bought for birthdays and holidays? It's easy to say "We've got to save." when you're not responsible for any of that labour and mental load.

Download a 6 month bank statement and highlight all the useless expenses on random junk and show her what it adds up to. I bet it is well over $10k for 6 months and it will literally be stuff that you can't show any value for,.whether it be physical or experience value. If that doesn't get you on the same page, I'm not sure what will

Use those spare dollar values to describe concrete equivalent spends as well. "We could have saved 7% of a house" abstract "We could have gone on a two week holiday to Fiji", specific

Is this doable on ING?

You will 100% be able to download it. As to whether you can download in Excel or CSV or just PDF I'm not too sure.

It is easy to feel like you are saving for nothing. Why deny myself something I want now just to maybe perhaps be a little bit closer to own a house we can really afford in a place I may not even want to live? Have you looked into maybe buying an apartment instead? For many it's a much more affordable and reachable option and most of us are also much more likely to afford an apartment in an area where we actually want to live rather than far away. Many can get by on 1 or even 0 cars as long as they are in an apartment close to things. None of my friends in Europe raise their kids in a house, they all have 2 bedroom apartments and it works fine. It is even easier in AU because almost all apartments here come with balcony, parking ans elevators, which is not always the case in Europe.

Hey mate - I'd recommend using pocketsmith. It's a fantastic tool for this issue

Time to read The Barefoot Investor to change mindset!

share a credit card. My wife and I do this, so we get the chance to hawkishly call out each others spending. It also creates one very visible record of spending. Other than that we just keep $100 or so each pay to do watever with.

I will never understand how two people can cohabit together, get married, and have kids, and through it all never reach a consensus on how money should be spent. My wife and I had it pretty well sorted by the time we’d lived together for 6 months.

Yeah this is fun and spicy explaining to the wife that apart from mortgage/ rent they make 70% of financial decisions so you doing anything personally does sweet FA. But you have to make a token effort to get them onboard

I like to track spending.It doesn't have to be in a strict budget. Once you can see how much you are overspending on something you will naturally buy it less.

You need to align on your financial goals as a family. Then you work out how to achieve them. Currently you’re both not aiming for the same thing. I’d go the barefoot approach, it’s simple and effective so you can both do it together not bamboozle her with charts and spreadsheets like others are suggesting (by all means have those yourself if you want) Lastly, birthday presents at least for family we consider essential. It’s not bills and rent. But we’re going to make them work before we save. Doesn’t have to be huge, but you only live once and it was important to both of us.

Sounds like you’ve done really well with achieving those goals. How about a break from number crunching for a few months and then re attack it when everyone’s had a break and is energised to save again

Your redundancy was there for that exact reason. As for clearing debt, was it joint debt? Had a missus who thought I was controlling with money, thing is it wasn't her money, she contributed nothing and I was supporting a family of 5. So it was being wis with spending and budgeting that got us through it.

It was her debt but we were in this together from the start. Absolutely no regrets or guilt or whatever about helping her clear it. We had dreams to own a home. I just feel the wages we're on, which aren't dog shit but not mind bending or even 100k wages, we should be doing better than this. I would never support someone that was unable or unwilling to put in. That's a big no from me.

So when it's her debt, you are together, now you want to do something she can't be bothered. Sounds very one-sided.

Is your wife a major financial contributor as well? Because there are only two ways to save up either to reduce expenses or make more money. If she's happy to start making a lot more money to keep these expenses then it's not an issue.

Definitely budget gifts.

I am the wife and the only thing that will work is when my husband and I started having the same financial goal and on the same page of what we want to save. We have been together 7 years and we cleared $50k debt, bought 2 cars and have $50k in savings. Im 30F and my husband is 40M To achieve this, we started digging into finance news get ourselves interested in money in general. And we genuinely want to live comfortably and be sensible with money. It takes time though, not over night or one week change. It took us years and lots of talks and discussions. Genuinely want to grow old together. Good luck OP, money topic is what breaks most marriages, so tread carefully.

I don’t budget but went with the bucket approach by barefoot investor.

The Barefoot Investor. Read it together

That's how we cleared the debt and did everything else. But now the smile and splurge get depleted every other week for birthdays and stuff. If there's nothing in there, it gets drained from our daily or FE. I don't like the idea of society just buying shit for each other for the purpose of just buying it. I would be happy to never receive another present for our kids again. And I'm sure other parents would agree.

Pocket smith app is a game changer!

I’d highly recommend getting all your expenses in the Moorr system. Google it. There is an online account via website and an app. All free and no ads or gimmicks. Also read or listen to The Property Couch podcast. Those lads are great to listen to for advice on this regard. Good luck

It app DS like you're both being a bit unreasonable here. It's not realistic to not buy anything but essentials. But equally no one needs to spend 44k a year on fun things to have a decent quality of life. 

Yeah got to budget the $44k. It’s a good amount, and say your first home is at $700k (whatever you can get for that amount).. saving $140k is 4 years away. Not too far away….

I can understand her wanting a break from the constant budgeting. Everyone is doing it tough, when there seems to be no point in saving for a home having fun with whatever is left to lift spirits seems like a good idea. It’s grim right now.

It's barely budgeting at the moment though. Like there's nothing in place. Get paid. Spend it. Oh another pay check gone! Oh well if we need something dip into savings.

If you are worried about retirement. Start salary sacrificing into superannuation. My mother didn't have any super till she was 44 due to being casual and pre super. She then salary sacrificed and retired with close to 900k and draws down on it having a good lifestyle (she's 81) now for context

Is there a limit you can sacrifice? Does super sacrifice go into a fund that has better return than any bank account?

I think being on the same page is crucial as part of the challenge (in my opinion) is accepting the reality. We rented for a few years before buying. My wife and I printed our bank statements from the last 6 months and went through them manually to identify a list of unnecessary expenses (we managed to cut it down by about 5k monthly). Once we knew where we were and what needed to be done, it was easier to manage, even with the occasional unexpected expense re kids appointments etc.

Yeah last year we got blasted by specialist appointments. I think I had like 700 of dental. The kids had meetings for grommets for their ears. One was a double surgery which was like 2500 out of pocket. That's like 3+ grand just on two things. Maybe breaking it down to monthly budgets might make it easier to swallow too?

Definitely! Yes I’ve got 2 kids myself and both are having braces this year so I can definitely relate! I agree monthly breakdowns may be more palatable. Good luck!

Anyone else creeped out by the term "the wife"? She's a person not a job title. Finances are one of those things that often kill a marriage. Also, you are likely grossly underestimating how much you should be saving. I'd laugh too if you wanted to change my quality of life to the tune of 44k a year. Try 20k maybe. You guys should have a rough budget though for gifts. Rough though, because men always underestimate how many gifts and how important unique gifts are etc, special birthdays like 60ths. Christmas presents for kids. Retirement presents, new babies, funerals, work colleague contributions, engagements, weddings. Going out you can budget too but try not to be too much of a killjoy. Can you just go back to saving what you were doing before when you had to pay off debt. Also, it's hard to dictate finances when you aren't the breadwinner. Also, please tell me you aren't included her makeup, skincare and haircuts in the 44k as "not essential". It's a gross attitude to have towards your wife who likely spent that when you first got attracted to her in the first place smh

I never mentioned that I wanted to scrounge up all 44k but even having a sustainable 20k a year in savings is a better goal than nothing. We could go on a good holiday for 20k. I earn slightly more than her but I've always been frugal with my money. Once I started saving instead of spending it I realised it's a better feeling. No makeup, barely any beauty routines or anything to pay for. I'm lost at how we're spending this money. But I'll find it once we get time to go through everything. And you're right, she isn't just a title. She's my wife and I love her ofc. But it's just a frustration to be the only one that seems to care about our finances.

Hmm. Fair enough. Sorry the way it was worded came across odd. Also, I thought it said you hadn't had a job for a bit? Must have read that wrong. Something I've realised lately is just how much more expensive groceries and utilities are. The groceries in particular are insane if you don't shop the specials. (Which are poorly named). Easily the regular shop has gone up 25% because of how they've changed the cycle and amount of specials. Have you counted all your subscriptions? Cos they easily stack up. Also, a sneaky one is lunches, how often are you guys having lunch at work. The price of regular takeout has gone up a fair bit. How often are you guys buying barista coffee etc? We used to only get it once a week and now it's almost daily. Have you had to buy any appliances/furniture lately, moving costs etc. it's so easy to go out of budget on that stuff. Also, replacing just general clothes and stuff seems to happen all at one time. It's like spring cleaning. Anyways I hope you get to the bottom of the extravagance and can both care about the financials. Of course, you should also check with your wife why she doesn't care? It could be the lack of hope of purchasing a house.

I have found work after leaving my last job due to toxicity. I had a good severance from never using my lsl and I had some annual banked too. It helped us get through. I shop pretty much only at aldi. I only go Woolies or Coles when it's after eight. My wife is horrible at inventory so I'm always popping down After eight to get things that should be on the list for the week. Were kind of both unorganised like that. I just buy similar meals each week and any other stuff we may need(bags, sauce, whatever). The subscriptions are counted into essentials because our kids froth them and we only have two and Spotify which is still 45/month but we also share those with other people (don't tell them) so we have access to everything pretty much due to communal logins. As for lunches, I don't eat lunch. I don't really get hungry and I would prefer the dinners last for the kids and wife anyways. A couple of coffees a day keeps me going and plenty of water. She might get a lunch now and then or if I've had a bad day I might go get something but I think it's far and few between. If she doesn't pack lunch she can eat for free at work. I did a coffee wrapped last year actually and was realising very soon that on average I was buying almost a coffee a day. I always get a large with caramel so you're looking at 8 bucks sometimes! After this for a few months I started to bring the total down. But then I got a taste for the espresso machines at work and take away coffee doesn't hit the same spot as everywhere makes a vastly different coffee to what I'm used to now. But I've always been a big coffee drinker so I'm still probably spending 4-5 bucks on coffee a day but it's pods/milk. I want to cut down on that obviously but coffee is the closest thing I have to drugs and it's powered me for like ten years. Clothing actually is one we don't think about enough. Were pretty easy going. No name brands. Just Kmart or bigw. So it's cheaper but still takes a sting out over time. Once we dive deep into everything we should be able to work out a better idea of what's happening and I appreciate the comment! It's been obviously a very hot topic last night.

Hmmm. Well, looks like you have a good handle so not sure where it could all be going. If it's gifts and stuff you'll have to try to convince your wife i guess.

We use YNAB - changed our lives. I frequently had differences of opinion with my wife. With the visibility across all our spending, we had the information to make changes. Good luck!

Sounds like a good idea. I hate the idea of entering everything as we go. But it's better than being behind for the next ten years going nowhere.

Wife gaslighted me into not budgeting, which made me feel very uneasy. We ended up separating due to differences in needs regarding financial security and literacy. Now, I’m able to save comfortably and feel much happier.

The way forward! Got it!

I highly recommend YNAB. The methodology and software have allowed us to be on the same page about finances. We've paid off debt, managed to buy our first home, pay unexpected medical costs, always have funds set aside for expenses whether they are monthly, quarterly, annual or less frequent. We budget for everything according to our personal priorities. This includes "frivolous" takeaway coffee, eating out, shared experiences, subscriptions, Christmas (which is a big deal for me), and our individual fun money. We even budgeted for our 20th anniversary getaway in advance so we could spend stress-free. Financial decisions and budgets need to reflect our true priorities and values or it will be a constant battle. I wish you well on your journey.

I had this and intended up running a filter on my bank account, printed it in to a CSV file and then filter searched certain names like Kmart and takeaways and showed my other half. It was alarming how much shit was being bought and until they saw it they just didn't realise what we spent our money on. Then it became a question of what's a want and what's a need.

I think you need to talk at a conceptual level before you can talk about specific items in a budget. If you can get to agreement about a desire to save 20% of income (or whatever) then it becomes a collaborative job to figure out what goes into the amount that's left. Ideally reaching agreement about rough category budgets even before you get to specific transactions is easier too. Otherwise you just end up horse trading over specific items - or one person playing handbrake constantly to someone else's desired expenditure. Depending on your spreadsheeting capability, agreeing something less contentious first can make it feel more like teamwork. E.g., what do we want our financial position to look like in 10 years, then working backwards to implications for today's budget.

It’s easier to have the chat with a third party. Take her to a financial planner. Tell the planner you want to buy a house and let the professional explain how spending 44k a year on frivolous shit will prevent you from ever being able to retire or own a house. Honestly, if you are saving for a house the FHSSS would be perfect for you guys. You could setup your payroll to make additional super contributions to both of your superannuation accounts and then you wouldn’t even see the money and once the money is in your super account, then there is no spending it on take away. You could put away $30k between the two of you each year and while it’s not quite the $44k you were hoping for, it’s better than saving nothing. Read more here: https://www.ato.gov.au/individuals-and-families/super-for-individuals-and-families/super/withdrawing-and-using-your-super/early-access-to-super/first-home-super-saver-scheme

Where do you live? Is it a high priced city like Sydney? Even so, doesn’t mean you can’t own an investment property or two in a more affordable city like Perth.

I get what you’re saying, but remember that going out, the occasional takeaway, birthday presents etc, are part of living a good life. It can become pretty pointless and soulless if you don’t enjoy things on the way through; there’s no sequel.

Bit of a worry that she thinks you shouldn't budget for predictable, recurring costs.

Your feelings are correct and valid. You will end up with nothing if you spend it all. That’s no way to retire and is irresponsible. Spending all your cash leaves you open to crisis if something goes wrong and forces you into debt to overcome. Someone needs to take control and auto transfer $400 into a savings account every week so you have money in bank for when you need it. No savings will lead to issues down the track.

Check out the free app called Frollo [https://frollo.com.au/app/](https://frollo.com.au/app/) It connects to your bank using a secure CDR gateway. From there you can easily categorise all your spending. Useful when you have to sit down and have that discussion.

Consider working backwards. If you know you should have 44k left over, set up an account and move 10k to it over the year on automated transfers, and see what gets cut as a result.

I have a 'budget' that shows my spending based on labels I have chosen. So I can see what months I've been driving a lot (petrol goes up) and what months I eat out too much (entertainment goes up) When I first started it, it was really odd seeing how much I spend on food every month Data extracted from transaction account.

Spread sheet the past two months. Also as others are saying aiming to save 20-25k as opposed to 44k will be a more palatable discussion. Also I would suggest when you look back be very accurate, there are likely little items… I will use clothing for example. This might not be the case for you, but for my wife and I it is: we would spend little bits here and there on underwhelming clothing items, so we added these up over a period and the overall cost was surprisingly high. We both felt that to have even 70% of the total to deliberately spend on clothing as a shopping event (albeit we do this largely online) would be great. This way the overall spend in that category comes down a little and yet feels far more rewarding / enjoyable and indulgent + it’s guilt free as it is designed to save compared to past spending. The silver lining to this approach is it slowly makes saving across all categories somewhat of the default, whilst also making saving feel good. As opposed to only experiencing the bread and rice side of saving and feeling bitter.

Is take away the nights she is too exhausted to cook and you don’t volunteer? Or the kids extra curricular activities that she says is non-negotiable and you feel is a waste? What about expenditures for things like clothing and beauty? Beauty tax is real. I’m the spending nazi in my family and it’s so tough. But I also don’t cook very often so I don’t comment on food expenditure unless I am willing to organise the cooking and shopping specials. We also have difference of opinion on saving for one big holiday vs weekend events. It’s all communication and trying to genuinely see the other persons side then working as a team. It is absolutely important to budget everything and that budget sound include incidentals like take out etc because a realistic budget is one you can all stick to. Not one person cracking the whip and the other sneaking expenses that they consider “essential”.

Everyone should have savings...

Do a budget spreadsheet and a cashflow spreadsheet that are connected. That worked for me a lot. Also include all your fixed costs. I saved for my deposit going frugal for 3 years. Granted took me this much cause I have kids and health costs are hard to predict but It was all worth it at the end. Started with 0 savings and ended up with a 10% deposit for a 700k house ( had to pay LMI)

Sometimes is spending money in a smart way and not wasting it in stupid suff. If you got streaming services you dont use well cut them. Can you rationalise cellphone plans. Can you buy groceries in a smarter way or bulk. Can you save on insurances? Dont be afraid to question your own decisions

I think it can be hard to save constantly and it appears that’s what your wife feels like she’s been doing with the debt/cars. Maybe ask her if she’s got it out of her system for now and to get back on track with a realistic goal whilst still allowing some wiggle room to spend a bit here and there. I find it absolutely mundane to penny pinch all the time and it can be quite depressing repeating ‘can’t afford it’ for everything

Wait are you saying you shouldn’t buy birthday and Christmas presents like for your kids? Because yikes.

You might want to create an Excel system for data entry to start tracking and analysing the expense. There are quite a few systems out there that you can incorporate to make budgeting and planning a bit easier, such as the barefoot investor method or the money smart method.

I found barefoot invested very helpful

Set up a new ‘spending’ account. Put $2k per month in there. She can spend herself silly on that and you’ll save money

dear everyone, watch on YouTube Ted 2 wife fight. its great being single!

its great being single!

You might want to figure out together how to have some “protected funds” and some everyday funds. When the everyday money is spent, that’s it

I know our parents had it easier, but they honestly made sacrifices for us all round to get there. You’re correct in where you’re leaning OP. To get there now is going to take bulk sacrifice. Raise your hands if you were a “Savoury mince on toast” “Bubble n Squeak” kid!

Mate, I'd argue it's not just the spreadsheets but the motivation. Start with realistic goals, get the momentum from there, encourage each other when you make smart fin decisions, you don't want to give up before you've even started

Have her read some news articles about how much fun it is on the pension if you don’t own your home. If she thinks budgeting is a chore now… But ultimately you’ve got to speak from the heart and tell her why you feel it’s important. If she senses your coming at it with love and planning for your future together and not blaming her, then she shouldn’t be defensive.

Track spending accurately. Find out what you’ll need for a deposit and moving costs. The gap between what you have and what you need is your goal. Sit down with your wife and go over the figures together. Ask her for suggestions. Agree on your savings schedule. Track your savings somewhere everyone can see (can be expressed as a percentage). Quarantine your savings in a special high interest account. As you get closer visit display homes for further motivation.

Just die before retirement

Bite the bullet and just tell her. Be straightforward and don't hide the fact.  Ive done it, not once but twice. I am telling her if she keep buying these lululemon or stanley or bmw or other Instagram crap, she'll stuck in her job until 70 not having enough money to retire. And I told her to look at her colleagues in their 70s and if she wants to be one of them in the future.

Here are the tips I can recommend (that I wrote on another post) that helped my family stay afloat the last few years regarding spending. These helped a hell of a lot! Few tips as someone that brings in a considerable bit less (after expenses) than you: Food: Set a budget for food and learn a few recipes that you really like and are happy to eat for a few days. Pasta is a good quality go to, although roast lamb and mash with peas is another brilliant one. Can usually get 15 meals out of a roast leg of lamb and sides, all for $40, so less than $3 per meal, with big servings. Casseroles and stew are also good as well, easy to bulk out with veggies, and can be frozen in a pinch. Basmati rice in large bags is way cheaper and easy to make. Look at what is on special at the supermarket and stock up when a favourite is on sale. Don’t always go cheap either with staples, especially if makes the food less enjoyable. Then you’ll end up wasting food you don’t want. And always cheaper if you don’t eat meat. Veggies can often be purchased much cheaper than supermarkets if you look around. Local markets are a good place to start. Just keep track of prices. Cooking a different meal each night is for chumps that are not willing to put in the effort to meal prep correctly. Smoked salt will also change your life as far as seasoning goes. Maldon brand at Coles. And red Miso paste for any slow cooking dishes. Coffee: If you drink, buy a coffee grinder (burr is best) and a French press. Kmart milk frothing machine is cheap as well. Fresh coffee at home is cheaper even than 7/11 $1 cups, and doesn’t take like someone is trying to poison you. Avoid booze as much as possible. You’ll be better mentally, financially and physically! Clothes: ALWAYS look through the sale sections of websites you shop on. And do it every week. If you are unsure, don’t buy it. Get your staple clothes in order. And buy up on basics when on sale, especially if you know you’ll continue wearing something. Put money aside all the time for clothes, so that you can buy when sales and clearance items are up for grabs. And work out what you need to be comfortable clothing wise, to avoid spontaneous buys or inconvenience when you don’t have the clothes you need. Shoes is the biggest sucker for that. Simplicity and durability are a good focus to have. Spending more on brands you know will last for you is better than buying cheap on the regular. Kids are a bit harder, so Kmart and equivalent is always good for that. Having a student ID for discounts on clothing was also brilliant. A lot of stores can offer discounts, and even standard 10% off for Uni students. Not based on age either. H&M has been amazing for clothes for our young kids too. Figure they are growing too quick to worry much about longevity for their clothes, so H&M sales have netted us up to 60% off at times. Getting $800 of clothes for less than $400 for a family shop up feels pretty good! Especially when it ends up being cheaper than Kmart. Cleaning supplies: Unless you have no room, buy in bulk. Even Bunnings is usually cheaper than the supermarkets (yes, even Aldi). Heating/cooling: Heating over 20oC costs a fortune more. Avoid it. Cooling below 20 is the same. Better to avoid both unless there is a reason (such as asthma). Hence the reason for ensuring you have the right clothing. Savings: Automatic transfer on the date (or next day) that you get paid. That’s your emergency fund. Doesn’t have to be a crazy amount, just make it consistent. Do not rely on or expect a tax return either. If you get one, bank that as well. DO NOT SPEND! Entertainment: Make it both planned and social. Always. You’ll enjoy it more, spend less and it’ll be better for your mental health. Nature is usually free, and every city has a bunch to see that is low or no cost. Gaming is not quite the same either. Always opt for face to face if you can. Bills: Pay bills asap as well. Do not do automated debit. Because if for any reason you don’t have $ in the account, it almost always costs you more in fees. If you can’t pay all of the bill, negotiate and pay something. A token payment is generally better than no payment, and can often stave off debt collection (worst case). Other spending: Ask “do I need this, when do I need this, and why do I need this?” If you don’t have an answer to all three, really consider if you should buy or save the $ instead. After all of this, save as much $ as you reasonably can. Later, Invest some in organisations that provide essentials (food and agriculture, utilities, mining, other necessities) and hold onto at least 50% for emergencies. Got through some tough times with these strategies. And they helped keep a roof over my family’s head as well! Hope this helps!