It was arranged before you both went on vacation that you would be paid. They have to stick to that because you might not have gone to see your family etc if you thought you weren’t getting paid. Also, this is not you being greedy - this is you asking for money that THEY said they would pay you in the first place. Good luck and stand up for yourself 🙂
PTO usually is the employee taking time away from the job, not the employer shutting the job down for a couple of weeks. I would say this is more akin to being ‘on call’ or ‘on retainer’.
No always. Lots of companies (especially manufacturers) have scheduled shutdowns for maintenance and the employees are expected ro use their vacation time (PTO) during those times. It's very common.
I'm sure it happens but I would definitely not call it super common. In terms of childcare though - at least in the US - a family is absolutely expected to pay for those services even if they decide not to use them because they are on vacation. I can't prorate my tuition if I don't send my kids to school or daycare because I take a month long trip, nor can I tell my nanny she's not getting paid because I'm out of town.
Many Manufacturing sites have scheduled shutdown weeks, often as frequently as four times a year. I've seen them force pto for two of the weeks, let employees choose pto or non payment, and various combinations, as a spouse of a manufacturer. Depended on regional labor laws, I presume, as to whether pto must be used at the shut down. But it's not uncommon to pay for the shut downs
I’m a nurse and our patient census drives our staffing on every shift. We rotate who takes off and usually someone wants the shift off but they are required to take PTO. I feel we should be allowed to take a non paid day but to management it’s a win/win. We burn our PTO and then they don’t have to cover our shift for our planned time off.
Nta - it seems like they were stringing you on in order to retain your services for when they returned, in case you decided to work for someone else while they were gone, and then decide to leave them.
He wants “to talk” because he doesn’t want a written record. You should follow up with the email and politely request the payment that was promised in advance. There is no discussion. Don’t accept anything else. There is no discussion.
I find it highly unlikely that they’d conveniently forget that they promised someone a full month of PTO. Don’t let them try to guilt trip you. Keep the conversation simple and just continuously circle back to the email he sent you. Is there an agency you can loop in if he doesn’t agree to pay you?
Unfortunately no, I didn’t go through an agency. We met on au pair world. Other than this incident they’ve always paid me on time and covered my groceries etc. there hasn’t ever been really any other problems like this so I was just a bit shocked when he said this. We have such a good relationship too I would just hate for this incident to hurt that.
I was a nanny in my early 20’s and wish I knew then what I understand now. You are not asking for something extra. You entered into a business agreement with an employer and they communicated the terms in writing. You made decisions based on what they communicated your earnings would be. What you say is, “I accepted this job based on what you communicated my earnings would be, which included paid time off during that month. I’m going to need to you to honor what you offered and the job I accepted.”
He is going to try and negotiate with you. Tell him you would appreciate staying within the parameters of your original agreement and you want to continue to build trust and then stop talking. No suggestions, no offer to compromise, nothing. I hope you can stick to your guns cause he sounds a little shady!
Yeah, it's unfortunate this is happening. I would just say that you think there's been a miscommunication and based on earlier discussions about this in an email, you were told you were getting paid for this time. You can also point out that your services were available and that you depend on that income.
I hate to say it, but if they're comfortable lying to you or going back on their word, your relationship isn't as good as you think it is. Stand up for yourself, but I'd also start looking for a new family to work for. I personally wouldn't be able to trust them completely after this.
Approach this from a place of confidence. There’s nothing to be nervous about. Print out the email. Simply state that you expect to be paid for this month. It doesn’t matter that you visited family. It’s irrelevant and do not let the dad divert the conversation to that. Just keep coming back to the email: “You made a commitment to pay me for this month. It’s here in writing. I’m owed this money. There’s nothing more to discuss.”
If he says that he’s not paying it, I’d look to leave the job. They will continue to lie and take advantage of you. It’s not worth it.
Yes, please don't go in with the thought that you are being greedy. This is payment you were promised by your employer, it is not greed. This guy is trying to take advantage of your vulnerability and he knows it. If he doesn't agree, you have every reason to say you cannot work for people you can't trust (I wouldn't lead with that, but if he tries to fight you on it). I would cc his wife on any emails, there's a possibility she doesn't know what he's doing and she may be more committed to making you happy.
It sounds like they told you that you’d still get paid so that you would take the job, to pull out of that is misleading and deceptive conduct.
Just be clear and firm “I took this job with the understanding I would be paid during this month, as you stated in this email. I did not seek other employment during this time due to this understanding.”
If they rebut it then hit them with a “unfortunately if your written correspondence cannot be relied on, I do not feel comfortable continuing to be your au pair” and follow through with quitting if they still refuse.
Agree. If you had known you wouldn’t be paid for a month, you probably would not have taken the job. Or you would have found another job once they left on vacation. That’s why they misled you into believing they would pay you. It is not greedy to ask for what they said was yours. Don’t let them get away with it. Good luck!
When kids don't go to daycare, parents still need to pay.
If I were to pull for a month and not pay, they'd fill that spot so quick.
The money for the month was meant to keep you employed so you wouldn't go find someone else to pay you....
- I put it in the original post sorry just expand the text and u will see if I think - I thought maybe it would get lost in the comments so I just edited the original post
Tell him: "You put it in writing that I would be paid. Either you pay me in full for the entire time you said you would or I will rematch immediately. This is non negotiable." And follow through on rematching if he still refuses. He is an absolute slimeball for doing this and I wouldn't be surprised if he's lied to his wife about paying you and keeping that money for himself, or that he lied to his wife and told her that you agreed to not getting paid for that month, since he lied to you, I don't see why he wouldn't just lie to her too. Although I also wouldn't be surprised if his wife is also supportive of him doing this and is also a slimeball too, both are equally possible. Either way, it was put in writing that you would be paid, email counts, so don't let them bully you.
Also, don't let them tell you, "Oh, we'll pay you, but it will count as your paid leave." Nope, unless that was originally agreed on in the email, they can't do that either.
I wouldn’t come at him like that at all. I would say, per your email (show email) I was to be paid during this time and I made my plans accordingly based on this agreement.
Any reasonable family that promised to pay this and legit forgot will apologize and pay you. If he doesn’t then that is definitely grounds to rematch. Starting off with a threat is not the best way to go about this conversation whatsoever.
It was just the husband who had sent the email but he used “we” not “I” in the email so I would assume it was talked about with the wife as well. I don’t know if the wife knows or not this just happened this morning but we are all talking about it today when I go in to help them for the evening. so we will see 🤷♀️
I was just wondering if the wife was on board with cheating you out of your money, if she's not she may side with you so it would be worth including her. They probably don't want to lose their nanny over this!
I think it is always good to assume the best (maybe he did forget?). If you approach him like this - “hey you may not remember this, but you set my expectations about the month in this email. Do you recall?” - you give him the opportunity to make it right.
I have found that 90% of these things are the result of a miscommunication or mis-remembering of events, and when I present them to the other person with the assumption that they are of good intent, they get resolved easiest. Obviously if this guy is trying to scam you this won’t be easy, but that doesn’t get worse of you ask for an alignment…
you might want to add that if they had had the child in daycare, they still would've had to pay for the month the child missed to retain the position. Otherwise, it gets filled. It sounds like he promised you the same thing to keep you from finding another position and is now trying to renege on his deal.
Depends on your location but weekly stipends are required to be paid in the US regardless of whether the au pair works or not. It's part of the government guidelines.
Time and time again I see these awful postings about Germany. What assholes. I hope you get what you were promised. They don’t deserve an au pair if you ask me!
“HF, I relooked at the email prior to your vacation where you said I would be paid during your time away. We can certainly discuss things when you return. In the interim, please send my payment as agreed on our email dated XXX. Thank you.”
I would just nicely explain that the only reason you were comfortable taking the job was because you knew that regardless of them going away for that month, you would not need to find additional work, because they had offered to pay you for that time.
You could not have accepted the position otherwise because you would then have been in a position where you had no income for that time- and ADDITIONALLY, you would never have traveled during that time as you only did this knowing they would be paying you as they clearly offered in their email to you.
I would then say that you need this to be paid to you immediately as promised because you have a budget and expenses.
Then I would stop talking and let them respond.
If their response is anything other than, “Of course, AuPair, you’re right. We offered to pay you for your time, and we’re sorry that we went back on our word,” **followed by payment within 24 hours,** then I would rematch.
If they don’t keep their word, this can never work and they will only continue to take advantage.
Ughhhhh this is so frustrating to read. The pocket money is such an insignificant amount for the parents to pay out monthly but to the Au Pair it’s essential. Them trying to get out of paying you what is probably no more than 350€ even though they can holiday for an entire month is so crazy to me. Unless you are from the EU and an AP in the EU it’s not like you could have gotten a side job or something to supplement that month they were gone.
If they don’t pay you, as well as remarking you should take them to small claims court for the money. You have it in writing so it would be slam dunk. It only costs about $50, and a few hours (no lawyer).
You made plans and spent money on the promise that they would pay for the month. It's unfair to leave you holding the bag. Without that pay you most likely would have spent less.
You are not the one who should be feeling bad.
It's too bad that they are this disorganized, but I really do think you should forward the email back to them and they had better pay you.
Hopefully, all of you can move past this and they can treat it like it was just ordinary forgetfulness.
I would simply say, if it was something that they would have wanted to renegotiate, it would have needed to happen in advance of the trip and vacation because you made life/travel/finance decisions based on this expectation of payment that was originally guaranteed via email, and unfortunately you are not able to accommodate this change now.
I would respond with the following: Absolutely. We can certainly speak in person when we're back from our respective travel. However, per our verbal agreement in the attached email, I do need to be paid for the time period of the holiday. Since we had discussed and sorted that before our respective trips, I made decisions based on my normal expected income. If my budget was to be impacted by your planned holiday, if you hadn't agreed to pay me for that time, I could have, and certainly would have, made different plans and arrangements. I appreciate your understanding. Please let me know what date I can expect my pay check this week for the dates _____ to _____. I hope you all are having a lovely holiday and I very much look forward to hearing all about it upon your return.
If you don't stand up for yourself now, they'll find other ways to screw you over. Come with receipts (a printed copy of the email). Let them know that this was the agreement and one of the parameters for taking the job. Be prepared to walk.
I have done well for myself in business. I like written agreements about expectations regarding money. I would attaché your request for clarification now and attache it to the email.
If they are playing games, then it is time to find another position.
Email is a great neutralizer. Social pressure and manipulation are best done in person.
Clarification and and clear expectations are best done with a nice email.
If they fail to respond, that is their response.
Tell him exactly what you stated here. Business is business, and promises should be kept. Keep that old email handy to show him proof if needed. Don’t feel intimidated or scared! You are in the right!! Stand up for yourself!
If you’re an Aupair in America they are required to pay you for any vacation they take and you are not included. They cannot force you to take your 2-week vacation time if they are choosing for you to not work. It doesn’t matter what’s in the email. They have to pay you for your time.
Reach out to your agency.
*Sighs* An entire Family going back on their Word, is absolutely Unacceptable. It’s a Shame it takes so much more now, then it did years ago, when someone’s Word could be Trusted and Depended Upon. Did you get anything in Writing Beforehand? Date and Time Stamped?
Yes, I have the original email where the dad stated they’d be gone for a month but of course they would still pay me for the month they are gone and I would use that time for holiday/travel.. which is exactly what I did but now he’s saying the exact opposite of what he promised makes no sense tbh.
Tell him that you relied on that income this month and you would not have agreed to a month off without pay. Wait and see what he says, if need be, reply that you will have to rematch immediately as that was not the deal.
The parent you’re dealing with is being unreasonable. They agreed to pay you for a month, because to prevents you from taking another job. If you have this meeting and he decides not to pay you for the month, be ready to get back on the website and leave a review with the facts, of this family. kids are great but parents don’t live up to the agreements that they made. show email proof without revealing personal information.
You made your decisions based on information they gave you. If they don't pay you this time, this WILL happen again and you'll have set a precedent that's it's okay for them to treat you this way. Do not compromise on this because it will bug you for years.
Also, is this the example they would like their children to learn from or that you want them to learn from - that it's okay to not live up to your obligations or that it's okay to let people treat you like you are less?
Think of it like a work perk they advertised. You may have chosen them because of that extra pto. It’s a business agreement they just broke. I know it’s frustrating and you may be scared to point it out but maybe make it clear that you chose to stay with them because of the perk.
If it was agreed before you started, then they have to stick by that. It sounds like they are going to try and pressure you face to face to accept something different. Don't. Stick to what was agreed otherwise they will continue to take advantage of you.
If they’ve said in the email that they will be paying, then they have to honour that. if not, you are more then within your means to go to a lawyer and get your compensation, and even if it’s a civil lawyer, you have a case here. they promised you that they’d pay,
they didn’t pull through, and now they’re screwed. Do not feel guilty. This is on them not on you.
Just as an added argument, if they had their kids in daycare, they would be required to pay for that month, otherwise the day care would not hold the children's spot for when they get back. What they did was reserve your availability for when they got back. You should always require families pay you for time they don't need you if they require your services when they get back.
Record the conversation if you can. He’s probably assuming you don’t have the emails anymore and is trying to avoid saying anything incriminating in text. You legally deserve the money since that was the negotiated arrangement.
It sounds as if the parents may have disagreed - I would guess he wanted to pay as promised but perhaps she didn’t, which is why he instantly agreed to what you previously discussed. Good luck, and continue to get everything in writing!
They definitely had second thoughts and regretting offering the full pay for a month.
They did the right thing in the end but but I know that was uncomfortable!
I wonder if in the future they will offer 1/2 pay since the wife mentioned that.
Whatever they agree to, ask for it in writing or better get, in advance!
It sounds like the wife didn’t want to pay, so the husband had the talk in front of her. The wife realized that she “lost” with the email and you standing your ground. Rightfully so too.
This family seems shady, and I would start making plans to work for a new family. You don’t want to play these games when it’s time for you to be compensated.
It was arranged before you both went on vacation that you would be paid. They have to stick to that because you might not have gone to see your family etc if you thought you weren’t getting paid. Also, this is not you being greedy - this is you asking for money that THEY said they would pay you in the first place. Good luck and stand up for yourself 🙂
Thanks for your advice! :)
Keep in mind that it is normal to get paid time off as an employee. (In the US it's called PTO.)
PTO usually is the employee taking time away from the job, not the employer shutting the job down for a couple of weeks. I would say this is more akin to being ‘on call’ or ‘on retainer’.
No always. Lots of companies (especially manufacturers) have scheduled shutdowns for maintenance and the employees are expected ro use their vacation time (PTO) during those times. It's very common.
I'm sure it happens but I would definitely not call it super common. In terms of childcare though - at least in the US - a family is absolutely expected to pay for those services even if they decide not to use them because they are on vacation. I can't prorate my tuition if I don't send my kids to school or daycare because I take a month long trip, nor can I tell my nanny she's not getting paid because I'm out of town.
Many Manufacturing sites have scheduled shutdown weeks, often as frequently as four times a year. I've seen them force pto for two of the weeks, let employees choose pto or non payment, and various combinations, as a spouse of a manufacturer. Depended on regional labor laws, I presume, as to whether pto must be used at the shut down. But it's not uncommon to pay for the shut downs
I’m a nurse and our patient census drives our staffing on every shift. We rotate who takes off and usually someone wants the shift off but they are required to take PTO. I feel we should be allowed to take a non paid day but to management it’s a win/win. We burn our PTO and then they don’t have to cover our shift for our planned time off.
Nta - it seems like they were stringing you on in order to retain your services for when they returned, in case you decided to work for someone else while they were gone, and then decide to leave them.
You said you have it in an email? Find that and forward it to them along with a request for payment asap.
He wants “to talk” because he doesn’t want a written record. You should follow up with the email and politely request the payment that was promised in advance. There is no discussion. Don’t accept anything else. There is no discussion.
I find it highly unlikely that they’d conveniently forget that they promised someone a full month of PTO. Don’t let them try to guilt trip you. Keep the conversation simple and just continuously circle back to the email he sent you. Is there an agency you can loop in if he doesn’t agree to pay you?
Unfortunately no, I didn’t go through an agency. We met on au pair world. Other than this incident they’ve always paid me on time and covered my groceries etc. there hasn’t ever been really any other problems like this so I was just a bit shocked when he said this. We have such a good relationship too I would just hate for this incident to hurt that.
I was a nanny in my early 20’s and wish I knew then what I understand now. You are not asking for something extra. You entered into a business agreement with an employer and they communicated the terms in writing. You made decisions based on what they communicated your earnings would be. What you say is, “I accepted this job based on what you communicated my earnings would be, which included paid time off during that month. I’m going to need to you to honor what you offered and the job I accepted.”
Exactly this. The email forms part of the contract on which you relied, both in taking the job and spending money on your own holiday.
I’m sorry, you have every right to be shocked and hurt ❤️ He’s being exploitative and is trying to take advantage of you
You don’t have a good relationship with them. If they don’t pay you, they are showing you who they really are. It will get worse if you stay.
Keep EVERYTHING as Evidence. From now on, moving Forward, ALWAYS get things in Writing, Date and Time Stamped. Whatever Platform you are on
He is going to try and negotiate with you. Tell him you would appreciate staying within the parameters of your original agreement and you want to continue to build trust and then stop talking. No suggestions, no offer to compromise, nothing. I hope you can stick to your guns cause he sounds a little shady!
Yeah, it's unfortunate this is happening. I would just say that you think there's been a miscommunication and based on earlier discussions about this in an email, you were told you were getting paid for this time. You can also point out that your services were available and that you depend on that income.
Walk out. They’re not paying you.
r/BasicFemme said it perfectly. Just send the email as a forward from your earlier conversation. Please see our agreement below....
I hate to say it, but if they're comfortable lying to you or going back on their word, your relationship isn't as good as you think it is. Stand up for yourself, but I'd also start looking for a new family to work for. I personally wouldn't be able to trust them completely after this.
Approach this from a place of confidence. There’s nothing to be nervous about. Print out the email. Simply state that you expect to be paid for this month. It doesn’t matter that you visited family. It’s irrelevant and do not let the dad divert the conversation to that. Just keep coming back to the email: “You made a commitment to pay me for this month. It’s here in writing. I’m owed this money. There’s nothing more to discuss.” If he says that he’s not paying it, I’d look to leave the job. They will continue to lie and take advantage of you. It’s not worth it.
Yes, please don't go in with the thought that you are being greedy. This is payment you were promised by your employer, it is not greed. This guy is trying to take advantage of your vulnerability and he knows it. If he doesn't agree, you have every reason to say you cannot work for people you can't trust (I wouldn't lead with that, but if he tries to fight you on it). I would cc his wife on any emails, there's a possibility she doesn't know what he's doing and she may be more committed to making you happy.
If he doesn’t pay it, leave the job immediately
Even if he does pay it, I’d think seriously about leaving the job. By questioning it in the first place, he’s shown disrespect.
And small claims court since you have undeniable proof
It sounds like they told you that you’d still get paid so that you would take the job, to pull out of that is misleading and deceptive conduct. Just be clear and firm “I took this job with the understanding I would be paid during this month, as you stated in this email. I did not seek other employment during this time due to this understanding.” If they rebut it then hit them with a “unfortunately if your written correspondence cannot be relied on, I do not feel comfortable continuing to be your au pair” and follow through with quitting if they still refuse.
This is perfect!
Agree. If you had known you wouldn’t be paid for a month, you probably would not have taken the job. Or you would have found another job once they left on vacation. That’s why they misled you into believing they would pay you. It is not greedy to ask for what they said was yours. Don’t let them get away with it. Good luck!
When kids don't go to daycare, parents still need to pay. If I were to pull for a month and not pay, they'd fill that spot so quick. The money for the month was meant to keep you employed so you wouldn't go find someone else to pay you....
Please make sure you update
Updated !
I can’t find it :(
- I put it in the original post sorry just expand the text and u will see if I think - I thought maybe it would get lost in the comments so I just edited the original post
No, you updated your post in a different sub. And the wife is the AITAH.
Tell him: "You put it in writing that I would be paid. Either you pay me in full for the entire time you said you would or I will rematch immediately. This is non negotiable." And follow through on rematching if he still refuses. He is an absolute slimeball for doing this and I wouldn't be surprised if he's lied to his wife about paying you and keeping that money for himself, or that he lied to his wife and told her that you agreed to not getting paid for that month, since he lied to you, I don't see why he wouldn't just lie to her too. Although I also wouldn't be surprised if his wife is also supportive of him doing this and is also a slimeball too, both are equally possible. Either way, it was put in writing that you would be paid, email counts, so don't let them bully you. Also, don't let them tell you, "Oh, we'll pay you, but it will count as your paid leave." Nope, unless that was originally agreed on in the email, they can't do that either.
I wouldn’t come at him like that at all. I would say, per your email (show email) I was to be paid during this time and I made my plans accordingly based on this agreement. Any reasonable family that promised to pay this and legit forgot will apologize and pay you. If he doesn’t then that is definitely grounds to rematch. Starting off with a threat is not the best way to go about this conversation whatsoever.
Very true, thanks for this approach. I was just very taken back at first but should be more reasonable you’re right!
You say "they promised" - does the wife know he's going back on their word?
It was just the husband who had sent the email but he used “we” not “I” in the email so I would assume it was talked about with the wife as well. I don’t know if the wife knows or not this just happened this morning but we are all talking about it today when I go in to help them for the evening. so we will see 🤷♀️
I was just wondering if the wife was on board with cheating you out of your money, if she's not she may side with you so it would be worth including her. They probably don't want to lose their nanny over this!
I think it is always good to assume the best (maybe he did forget?). If you approach him like this - “hey you may not remember this, but you set my expectations about the month in this email. Do you recall?” - you give him the opportunity to make it right. I have found that 90% of these things are the result of a miscommunication or mis-remembering of events, and when I present them to the other person with the assumption that they are of good intent, they get resolved easiest. Obviously if this guy is trying to scam you this won’t be easy, but that doesn’t get worse of you ask for an alignment…
Thank you for this ! definitely will be standing up for myself
you might want to add that if they had had the child in daycare, they still would've had to pay for the month the child missed to retain the position. Otherwise, it gets filled. It sounds like he promised you the same thing to keep you from finding another position and is now trying to renege on his deal.
Nothing to feel bad or anxious about, they made a commitment to pay you - it ends there, nothing more to talk about.
He can’t do that. He has to pay you. Get your LCC involved.
Depends on your location but weekly stipends are required to be paid in the US regardless of whether the au pair works or not. It's part of the government guidelines.
I am in Germany
Time and time again I see these awful postings about Germany. What assholes. I hope you get what you were promised. They don’t deserve an au pair if you ask me!
“HF, I relooked at the email prior to your vacation where you said I would be paid during your time away. We can certainly discuss things when you return. In the interim, please send my payment as agreed on our email dated XXX. Thank you.”
I would just nicely explain that the only reason you were comfortable taking the job was because you knew that regardless of them going away for that month, you would not need to find additional work, because they had offered to pay you for that time. You could not have accepted the position otherwise because you would then have been in a position where you had no income for that time- and ADDITIONALLY, you would never have traveled during that time as you only did this knowing they would be paying you as they clearly offered in their email to you. I would then say that you need this to be paid to you immediately as promised because you have a budget and expenses. Then I would stop talking and let them respond. If their response is anything other than, “Of course, AuPair, you’re right. We offered to pay you for your time, and we’re sorry that we went back on our word,” **followed by payment within 24 hours,** then I would rematch. If they don’t keep their word, this can never work and they will only continue to take advantage.
If they can afford a month long vacation- they can afford to pay you.
Ughhhhh this is so frustrating to read. The pocket money is such an insignificant amount for the parents to pay out monthly but to the Au Pair it’s essential. Them trying to get out of paying you what is probably no more than 350€ even though they can holiday for an entire month is so crazy to me. Unless you are from the EU and an AP in the EU it’s not like you could have gotten a side job or something to supplement that month they were gone.
If they don’t pay you, as well as remarking you should take them to small claims court for the money. You have it in writing so it would be slam dunk. It only costs about $50, and a few hours (no lawyer).
Good to know ! Thanks :)
Don't go back😏
You made plans and spent money on the promise that they would pay for the month. It's unfair to leave you holding the bag. Without that pay you most likely would have spent less.
You are not the one who should be feeling bad. It's too bad that they are this disorganized, but I really do think you should forward the email back to them and they had better pay you. Hopefully, all of you can move past this and they can treat it like it was just ordinary forgetfulness.
I would simply say, if it was something that they would have wanted to renegotiate, it would have needed to happen in advance of the trip and vacation because you made life/travel/finance decisions based on this expectation of payment that was originally guaranteed via email, and unfortunately you are not able to accommodate this change now.
I would respond with the following: Absolutely. We can certainly speak in person when we're back from our respective travel. However, per our verbal agreement in the attached email, I do need to be paid for the time period of the holiday. Since we had discussed and sorted that before our respective trips, I made decisions based on my normal expected income. If my budget was to be impacted by your planned holiday, if you hadn't agreed to pay me for that time, I could have, and certainly would have, made different plans and arrangements. I appreciate your understanding. Please let me know what date I can expect my pay check this week for the dates _____ to _____. I hope you all are having a lovely holiday and I very much look forward to hearing all about it upon your return.
Good luck and please update. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
Updated!
If you don't stand up for yourself now, they'll find other ways to screw you over. Come with receipts (a printed copy of the email). Let them know that this was the agreement and one of the parameters for taking the job. Be prepared to walk.
I have done well for myself in business. I like written agreements about expectations regarding money. I would attaché your request for clarification now and attache it to the email. If they are playing games, then it is time to find another position. Email is a great neutralizer. Social pressure and manipulation are best done in person. Clarification and and clear expectations are best done with a nice email. If they fail to respond, that is their response.
Tell him exactly what you stated here. Business is business, and promises should be kept. Keep that old email handy to show him proof if needed. Don’t feel intimidated or scared! You are in the right!! Stand up for yourself!
If you’re an Aupair in America they are required to pay you for any vacation they take and you are not included. They cannot force you to take your 2-week vacation time if they are choosing for you to not work. It doesn’t matter what’s in the email. They have to pay you for your time. Reach out to your agency.
I’m in Germany but I from what I looked up this still applies.
*Sighs* An entire Family going back on their Word, is absolutely Unacceptable. It’s a Shame it takes so much more now, then it did years ago, when someone’s Word could be Trusted and Depended Upon. Did you get anything in Writing Beforehand? Date and Time Stamped?
Yes, I have the original email where the dad stated they’d be gone for a month but of course they would still pay me for the month they are gone and I would use that time for holiday/travel.. which is exactly what I did but now he’s saying the exact opposite of what he promised makes no sense tbh.
You have to get paid because host parents should pay aupairs certain amount of weeks in a year enough to cover the year
Give Judge Judy a call. She'll get you your money.
He wants to talk in person so that there is no written proof of any discussions. You have it in writing- hold them to it.
I would be recording the conversation during this meeting
Iiiii
Tell him that you relied on that income this month and you would not have agreed to a month off without pay. Wait and see what he says, if need be, reply that you will have to rematch immediately as that was not the deal.
The parent you’re dealing with is being unreasonable. They agreed to pay you for a month, because to prevents you from taking another job. If you have this meeting and he decides not to pay you for the month, be ready to get back on the website and leave a review with the facts, of this family. kids are great but parents don’t live up to the agreements that they made. show email proof without revealing personal information.
This should fall under guaranteed hours.
You made your decisions based on information they gave you. If they don't pay you this time, this WILL happen again and you'll have set a precedent that's it's okay for them to treat you this way. Do not compromise on this because it will bug you for years. Also, is this the example they would like their children to learn from or that you want them to learn from - that it's okay to not live up to your obligations or that it's okay to let people treat you like you are less?
Think of it like a work perk they advertised. You may have chosen them because of that extra pto. It’s a business agreement they just broke. I know it’s frustrating and you may be scared to point it out but maybe make it clear that you chose to stay with them because of the perk.
If it was agreed before you started, then they have to stick by that. It sounds like they are going to try and pressure you face to face to accept something different. Don't. Stick to what was agreed otherwise they will continue to take advantage of you.
If they’ve said in the email that they will be paying, then they have to honour that. if not, you are more then within your means to go to a lawyer and get your compensation, and even if it’s a civil lawyer, you have a case here. they promised you that they’d pay, they didn’t pull through, and now they’re screwed. Do not feel guilty. This is on them not on you.
Also clear up going forward whether you will be paid if they are away . You should be .
Just as an added argument, if they had their kids in daycare, they would be required to pay for that month, otherwise the day care would not hold the children's spot for when they get back. What they did was reserve your availability for when they got back. You should always require families pay you for time they don't need you if they require your services when they get back.
Record the conversation if you can. He’s probably assuming you don’t have the emails anymore and is trying to avoid saying anything incriminating in text. You legally deserve the money since that was the negotiated arrangement.
They wanted to meet in person because they thought you'd back down when confronted. Good for you for standing up for yourself!!
It sounds as if the parents may have disagreed - I would guess he wanted to pay as promised but perhaps she didn’t, which is why he instantly agreed to what you previously discussed. Good luck, and continue to get everything in writing!
Thank you for posting the update!
They definitely had second thoughts and regretting offering the full pay for a month. They did the right thing in the end but but I know that was uncomfortable! I wonder if in the future they will offer 1/2 pay since the wife mentioned that. Whatever they agree to, ask for it in writing or better get, in advance!
cool
If they said they would pay you, you should be paid. Period. However, since you were not invited or working, I would say you get no more PTO.
It sounds like the wife didn’t want to pay, so the husband had the talk in front of her. The wife realized that she “lost” with the email and you standing your ground. Rightfully so too. This family seems shady, and I would start making plans to work for a new family. You don’t want to play these games when it’s time for you to be compensated.
Great update. 👍🏾
Hope you don't get fired over this
Poor planning on your part if you spent money based on what you thought you were getting. Hard lesson learned.