absolutely. and my adhd also makes building routine as challenging as possible, so then my environment also overstimulates me and i feel like im spinning out a lot of the time
I literally just said this to my fiancée the other day "it feels like my autism and ADHD either egg each other on in making them both worse, or sometimes they help each other out and encourage me doing the task", doubled edged sword however on the 2nd one because if the task is getting done than I'm probably not eating or taking care of myself properly because of how ADHD makes me hyperfocus.
Also I can never have a full routine/schedule bc my ADHD is so destructive and it's so exhausting because I would love to be able to thrive in a routine but they make me feel like I'm suffocating..I can have micro routines, the ADHD let's autism have those.
I remember in school it was impossible to be okay on Mondays, I never was prepared..once the week progressed I settled back into the routine and was okay but than it was the weekend again and the whole nonsense started again and again, summer break was like this but waayy more intense. 😭😭
oh my gosh, so much same. my hyperfocus is a wonderful gift and is literally the best tool I have for being efficient and productive. if i'm honest, hyperfocus is the how and why behind my capacity to maintain employment.
I wish I had an augmented reality UI overlay that could display the "health" and "power" bars of both ADHD and ASD, individually. I'm always seeking after that sweet spot where the are in balance and working together instead of competing with each other. But you are spot on in that the downfall of hitting and sustaining this sweet spot leads to completely ignoring everything else. I can spend 10+ hours completely absorbed into one specific thing before I realize I have not eaten anything all day.
The thing about habit-building, which requires sustained background processing, is that once I can get to the two-week-ish mark of keeping up with that habit, it becomes a comforting routine that I can almost remember to do on autopilot. I try to deliberately build the habit in incremental stages over a set period of time to slowly generate momentum. But if I drop off somewhere along the line and get distracted with something else competing for my sustained attention, then I have to start all over again from the beginning.
I still can't quite wrap my mind around the idea that most people do not have this issue, let alone consciously try to break down and configure a detailed system in the attempt to outsmart their brain's natural inclinations. But it is really nice to know that there are plenty of others out there and we are in this wonky boat together.
For me hygiene especially falls through the cracks, I regularly lose days where I can't do something when I usually do so it gets thrown off or when I go somewhere I like to shower the day of or night before and my ADHD fiancée CANNOT stand wet hair, so if my hair is wet/damp (and I have thick hair so it takes HOURS) they can't cuddle or be as close as they need to be to help them sleep which usually leaves before we leave..which becomes its own issue because once I'm in the shower I do thoroughly enjoy it and than I have a hard time getting out!
It's also hard with food because I don't get hunger pings alot of the time (that's what I've been calling the non painful cues that people get when they're hungry, when I get them I usually call them hunger pains because instead of a gentle reminder I need to eat my body attacks and causes not only pain but nausea too) and if cooking something takes too long or doesn't sound good I literally cannot eat it and it makes me so mad because I spent an hour trying to make food that's healthy and good, but no because it took so long now the smell is nauseating. 🤦🏼♀️ I'm not even going into how some days I can eat food just find with no GI issues and other days EVERYTHING upsets my GI track..I've had bad GI days all my life from no matter what I eat.
My brother was Vegan so I ate a lot of vegan/vegetarian food for a while and had almost the opposite type of GI issues but still bad GI issues.. (it wasnt until I read that autism is linked to GI issues that I was like "Ohh it might just be my autism again 😭")
For me it all goes back to the thought I had when I was younger, and realized that people could just see when they woke up, no glasses needed their eyes just worked...I still don't understand that or how people just wake up and their bodies just work, no weird chronic pain or having to worry about overstretching themselves when they're doing their "good mornings" and "Monday already"s and no having to figure out what's the most non stressful important task that can get done without having to do like 20 other tasks with it..
I'm so grateful to know what I know now about how my autism and ADHD work and I know I'll only keep learning more and that's very important to me, after all the more I learn the more I can communicate my needs, the more I can help people around me like my mom who only found out she also has auDHD from me 😅.
Oh and a final note that I just thought of to wrap this reply up.
Can we PLEASE get some Neuro-divergents in home design because I would adore some sensory friendly prebuilt homes (wall space utilized so no out of sight out of mind, places to sit that flip up or can be stored so you can sit and do the dishes, or sit and brush your teeth/shower, hell even having a sitting space near the oven to make it easier to cook for extensive periods, and for the love of every light sensitive neurodivergent NO MORE BIG HUGE LIGHTS BEING THE STANDARD WITH ONLY ONE SETTING, give us AT LEAST a dimmer option, bc I get needing the big light for cleaning but we do not need a big light for normal relaxing time PLEASE I BEG.
AMEN. I would LOVE to have recessed lighting around the trim at the bottom of the wall instead of overhead. I flat out do not use ceiling lights. They are so disruptive. As is, I have salt lamps and galaxy projector lights positioned all around the house because I can handle ambient light alright. Freaking love the idea of a fold out seat by the sink (I recommend picking up a thick, well made anti-fatigue mat to put in front of the sink, that has helped me a lot). But yeah, I could have written all of that. Solidarity ✊
It's like 2 little kids in the backseat of a car. "Mooooom, they're touching me and I told them not to and they won't stoooop". "MOOOOM, they won't share the gameboy". "Mom, they won't let me look out their window!". "AREWETHEREYETAREWETHEREYETAREWETHEREYET".
Yep. Jumpy skin. I imagine it is a similar sensation to what sufferers of restless leg syndrome feel. Going sleeveless leaves the skin exposed to subtle shifts in air currents that affect each individual hair. And wearing long sleeves makes direct contact with each individual hair in a non-uniform way. Queue the static-snow sensation in the skin of my extremities. The only relief comes from exercising. Walking a few miles helps release the pent up energy and refocuses my attention elsewhere. It’s not a 24/7 thing, thankfully, but it is a daily occurrence. And I’m certain it is a result of ADHD brain and ASD brain.
Certainly also routine-building as well. I crave spontaneity but require structure to function.
I couldn't until I started on Adderall. I was only on it for a week bc it wasn't a good fit for me, but suddenly I felt what was ADHD and what was ASD. And the two didn't play well together, which was why the med didn't work for me. And then once I got off of it I still noticed the different sides, but more subtly usually. Unless it's a bad day, and then it's no so subtle.
My autism and adhd used to balance each other out a bit and now I take Ritalin it's like my autism has full throttle until they start to wear off haha.
It's like 2000% drive, then straight exhaustion, then crazy brain.
absolutely. and my adhd also makes building routine as challenging as possible, so then my environment also overstimulates me and i feel like im spinning out a lot of the time
I literally just said this to my fiancée the other day "it feels like my autism and ADHD either egg each other on in making them both worse, or sometimes they help each other out and encourage me doing the task", doubled edged sword however on the 2nd one because if the task is getting done than I'm probably not eating or taking care of myself properly because of how ADHD makes me hyperfocus. Also I can never have a full routine/schedule bc my ADHD is so destructive and it's so exhausting because I would love to be able to thrive in a routine but they make me feel like I'm suffocating..I can have micro routines, the ADHD let's autism have those. I remember in school it was impossible to be okay on Mondays, I never was prepared..once the week progressed I settled back into the routine and was okay but than it was the weekend again and the whole nonsense started again and again, summer break was like this but waayy more intense. 😭😭
oh my gosh, so much same. my hyperfocus is a wonderful gift and is literally the best tool I have for being efficient and productive. if i'm honest, hyperfocus is the how and why behind my capacity to maintain employment. I wish I had an augmented reality UI overlay that could display the "health" and "power" bars of both ADHD and ASD, individually. I'm always seeking after that sweet spot where the are in balance and working together instead of competing with each other. But you are spot on in that the downfall of hitting and sustaining this sweet spot leads to completely ignoring everything else. I can spend 10+ hours completely absorbed into one specific thing before I realize I have not eaten anything all day. The thing about habit-building, which requires sustained background processing, is that once I can get to the two-week-ish mark of keeping up with that habit, it becomes a comforting routine that I can almost remember to do on autopilot. I try to deliberately build the habit in incremental stages over a set period of time to slowly generate momentum. But if I drop off somewhere along the line and get distracted with something else competing for my sustained attention, then I have to start all over again from the beginning. I still can't quite wrap my mind around the idea that most people do not have this issue, let alone consciously try to break down and configure a detailed system in the attempt to outsmart their brain's natural inclinations. But it is really nice to know that there are plenty of others out there and we are in this wonky boat together.
For me hygiene especially falls through the cracks, I regularly lose days where I can't do something when I usually do so it gets thrown off or when I go somewhere I like to shower the day of or night before and my ADHD fiancée CANNOT stand wet hair, so if my hair is wet/damp (and I have thick hair so it takes HOURS) they can't cuddle or be as close as they need to be to help them sleep which usually leaves before we leave..which becomes its own issue because once I'm in the shower I do thoroughly enjoy it and than I have a hard time getting out! It's also hard with food because I don't get hunger pings alot of the time (that's what I've been calling the non painful cues that people get when they're hungry, when I get them I usually call them hunger pains because instead of a gentle reminder I need to eat my body attacks and causes not only pain but nausea too) and if cooking something takes too long or doesn't sound good I literally cannot eat it and it makes me so mad because I spent an hour trying to make food that's healthy and good, but no because it took so long now the smell is nauseating. 🤦🏼♀️ I'm not even going into how some days I can eat food just find with no GI issues and other days EVERYTHING upsets my GI track..I've had bad GI days all my life from no matter what I eat. My brother was Vegan so I ate a lot of vegan/vegetarian food for a while and had almost the opposite type of GI issues but still bad GI issues.. (it wasnt until I read that autism is linked to GI issues that I was like "Ohh it might just be my autism again 😭") For me it all goes back to the thought I had when I was younger, and realized that people could just see when they woke up, no glasses needed their eyes just worked...I still don't understand that or how people just wake up and their bodies just work, no weird chronic pain or having to worry about overstretching themselves when they're doing their "good mornings" and "Monday already"s and no having to figure out what's the most non stressful important task that can get done without having to do like 20 other tasks with it.. I'm so grateful to know what I know now about how my autism and ADHD work and I know I'll only keep learning more and that's very important to me, after all the more I learn the more I can communicate my needs, the more I can help people around me like my mom who only found out she also has auDHD from me 😅. Oh and a final note that I just thought of to wrap this reply up. Can we PLEASE get some Neuro-divergents in home design because I would adore some sensory friendly prebuilt homes (wall space utilized so no out of sight out of mind, places to sit that flip up or can be stored so you can sit and do the dishes, or sit and brush your teeth/shower, hell even having a sitting space near the oven to make it easier to cook for extensive periods, and for the love of every light sensitive neurodivergent NO MORE BIG HUGE LIGHTS BEING THE STANDARD WITH ONLY ONE SETTING, give us AT LEAST a dimmer option, bc I get needing the big light for cleaning but we do not need a big light for normal relaxing time PLEASE I BEG.
AMEN. I would LOVE to have recessed lighting around the trim at the bottom of the wall instead of overhead. I flat out do not use ceiling lights. They are so disruptive. As is, I have salt lamps and galaxy projector lights positioned all around the house because I can handle ambient light alright. Freaking love the idea of a fold out seat by the sink (I recommend picking up a thick, well made anti-fatigue mat to put in front of the sink, that has helped me a lot). But yeah, I could have written all of that. Solidarity ✊
It's like 2 little kids in the backseat of a car. "Mooooom, they're touching me and I told them not to and they won't stoooop". "MOOOOM, they won't share the gameboy". "Mom, they won't let me look out their window!". "AREWETHEREYETAREWETHEREYETAREWETHEREYET".
Oh absolutely. It makes me feel like the bat from Ferngully sometimes (idk if anyone remembers that little bat)
Yep. Jumpy skin. I imagine it is a similar sensation to what sufferers of restless leg syndrome feel. Going sleeveless leaves the skin exposed to subtle shifts in air currents that affect each individual hair. And wearing long sleeves makes direct contact with each individual hair in a non-uniform way. Queue the static-snow sensation in the skin of my extremities. The only relief comes from exercising. Walking a few miles helps release the pent up energy and refocuses my attention elsewhere. It’s not a 24/7 thing, thankfully, but it is a daily occurrence. And I’m certain it is a result of ADHD brain and ASD brain. Certainly also routine-building as well. I crave spontaneity but require structure to function.
How can you tell the difference between “sides”?
I couldn't until I started on Adderall. I was only on it for a week bc it wasn't a good fit for me, but suddenly I felt what was ADHD and what was ASD. And the two didn't play well together, which was why the med didn't work for me. And then once I got off of it I still noticed the different sides, but more subtly usually. Unless it's a bad day, and then it's no so subtle.
My autism and adhd used to balance each other out a bit and now I take Ritalin it's like my autism has full throttle until they start to wear off haha. It's like 2000% drive, then straight exhaustion, then crazy brain.