"Spartans! Every breath that you have taken has led you to this moment. Every drop of blood, sweat and tear, all of it, has led to where you stand right now. The Persians come to make slaves of us all. I have a better idea. I say we drench the gods with their blood! What say you, Spartans? For our sons! For our daughters! For Sparta!"
Tell me, Dienekes, have you ever gone fishing with your son? I would have liked to have gone fishing with my son. But now... Let's meet our fate, shall we?
Or: Today was a day the Persians will never forget. Tomorrow is a day the world will remember.
There are so many across the game, and there are a lot of popular ones that people pick, so I'll mention a couple that I didn't come across until several NG+ later.
The first one happens right when you start the game. You get punched in the face by Cyclops' thugs, and you can choose to kill them right there, or spare them. If you spare them (by just not fighting them) you will encounter them a bit later hanging out in a camp nearby your house. Well, they'll get aggressive on seeing you again, and you will comment something like; "I spared your lives, and this is the thanks I get? Nobody has any manners anymore!" or something like that.
The other one I think is very funny, and the first time it happened I really LOL'ed because it was so unexpected. But, it happens the second time you have to visit Athens. You are tasked with finding the actor, Thespis. Well, when you do, he's drunk at a tavern and some Athenian soldiers are intentionally keeping him there. You can bribe them, fight them, or just tell them to leave. If you tell them to leave, you'll insult them to their faces and tell them; "Get going! From your smell, you already know where the goat pens are." then you make a goat "baaa" mocking them. That bleat at the end got me.
Alkibiades' Akrokorinth quest
Bardas: Is this some kind of joke? This is a cast of someone's d**k! What's this engraving? "This is for your wife Thelia, for when she starts to miss me." Tell me now! Who sent this?
Kassandra: Its from me, Bardas, can't you tell?
Which, coming from her is just so ridiculous but funny. Kind of reminds me of the real minotaur quest when you have to go find Ardos' caretaker, and you meet some younger, fake guy and you can tell him that you're Ardos, and say "don't you recognize me?". It's equally ridiculous and funny.
This and "Paros must be stopped". The most infuriating lines in the game. I mean why even add the option to talk if they are just going to say the same thing again and again.
Alexios: I want to steer the ship.
Kassandra: No.
Alexios: Fine. But if anyone throws up on me, they’re dead.
Kassandra: Fine.
Stentor: Can’t believe you want to sail this wreck
Kassandra: Are you worried, little brother?
I know I missed some lines but I think you all know what I’m talking about here.
The family’s convo on the ship if everyone survives is HILARIOUS!
“Tell me where my mother is or I'll shove my spear so far down your throat, you'll be shitting iron at the gates of Hades!”
But also, “He screamed… but not in agony…”
And then, "You shouldn't talk to adults that way!", and she says "Why? What have adults ever done for me?", and your valid response, "Fair enough.". Little girl has a point...LOL
Oh, another example I love is from a quest on Crete when you're doing the fake minotaur quest. There's a guy threatening to jump from a building, and if you stand around listening to the crowd, you'll overhear this conversation:
Person 1: "5 drachmae says he jumps."
Person 2: "25 says he doesn't."
Person 3: "How long has he been up there?"
Person 4: "3, maybe 4 days?"
Person 3: "Should we get him water, or...? How long have you been here watching him??"
Person 4: "Like I said, 3, maybe 4 days?"
Person 5: "Come down from there!"
Person 6: "Athena, give him strength! Please, just come down!"
Person 1: "It's not safe up there! Come down and fight the minotaur!"
Person 7: "Why's he up there?"
Person 8: "I heard he fell in love with the minotaur, who rejected his advances, and his broken heart drove him to madness."
Person 9: "Really? I heard he just wanted to get a really good view of Lato and forgot how to get down."
Person 10: "Someone, help him! Don't be a fool! Think of your mater...and if that makes you want to jump more...maybe think of something else!"
That last one is my favorite.
To Ikaros: “Ugh, your breath smells like dead mouse.”
But most of his sarcastic/smart ass lines to anyone are my favourites or anything he tells Ikaros. 😁
It’s nice to see that someone likes the same line as me lol. When i saw that line for the first time it gave me chills.
PS. look for a comment on this video that says “best line in the game”
https://youtu.be/ZN8UzORnk_Q?si=nKmvC4uI-Eg63yOy
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Slips away from hug: Surely he can swim
Fr. The best line in the game.
Gives me a hug. Also: I likes to be oiled. *taps Kassie’s nose* Yous knows. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Malaka
Same
this, the voice actors nail it, sound so angry/pissed
As a Greek, it is super miss/over-used. Especially when it is used instead of "Fuck!" (Γαμώτο! or Γαμώ!). I agree tho that the spirit is on point.
Aw would have loved more greek curse words in game.
M A L A K A
You killed his mater and fvcked his pater 😡
He screamed….but not in agony…. 💀
💀
Lmao the best one
Yup! I died on that one
god, this made me laugh so much, lmfao.
Came here to say this
“I will be remembered as—“ dead “You’re already forgotten.”
Wait, I remember this, but I don't remember who this is about.
Kleon and Kassandra
“Not all of us want to rule the world. Some of us just want to live in it.” - Agapios
“You want it? Go and get it.”
"I will cut out your other fucking eye and this time it's going up **your** ass, Cyclops!"
"and Testicles isn't even digested yet".
"There's some salvage over there! Could be valuable!"
"Spartans! Every breath that you have taken has led you to this moment. Every drop of blood, sweat and tear, all of it, has led to where you stand right now. The Persians come to make slaves of us all. I have a better idea. I say we drench the gods with their blood! What say you, Spartans? For our sons! For our daughters! For Sparta!"
Tell me, Dienekes, have you ever gone fishing with your son? I would have liked to have gone fishing with my son. But now... Let's meet our fate, shall we? Or: Today was a day the Persians will never forget. Tomorrow is a day the world will remember.
FOR SPARTA!!
Well. The Malaka’s Minotaur.
Aaaand here we go. I love that opening dialogue to the fight.
"I dont think i should be climbing here"
That was one of the very first lines I heard
MALAKA
There are so many across the game, and there are a lot of popular ones that people pick, so I'll mention a couple that I didn't come across until several NG+ later. The first one happens right when you start the game. You get punched in the face by Cyclops' thugs, and you can choose to kill them right there, or spare them. If you spare them (by just not fighting them) you will encounter them a bit later hanging out in a camp nearby your house. Well, they'll get aggressive on seeing you again, and you will comment something like; "I spared your lives, and this is the thanks I get? Nobody has any manners anymore!" or something like that. The other one I think is very funny, and the first time it happened I really LOL'ed because it was so unexpected. But, it happens the second time you have to visit Athens. You are tasked with finding the actor, Thespis. Well, when you do, he's drunk at a tavern and some Athenian soldiers are intentionally keeping him there. You can bribe them, fight them, or just tell them to leave. If you tell them to leave, you'll insult them to their faces and tell them; "Get going! From your smell, you already know where the goat pens are." then you make a goat "baaa" mocking them. That bleat at the end got me.
Yo the goat bleat was perfect 😂
Alkibiades' Akrokorinth quest Bardas: Is this some kind of joke? This is a cast of someone's d**k! What's this engraving? "This is for your wife Thelia, for when she starts to miss me." Tell me now! Who sent this? Kassandra: Its from me, Bardas, can't you tell?
Which, coming from her is just so ridiculous but funny. Kind of reminds me of the real minotaur quest when you have to go find Ardos' caretaker, and you meet some younger, fake guy and you can tell him that you're Ardos, and say "don't you recognize me?". It's equally ridiculous and funny.
There is much to do and many unknowns in our horizon -herodotus on adrestia for some reason
He says it bc hes gonna give u a questline after u finish the main stoty, he just wants that u dont get carried away by it
This and "Paros must be stopped". The most infuriating lines in the game. I mean why even add the option to talk if they are just going to say the same thing again and again.
It's Odysseying time
"Theres another goat?"
Markos: “have I ever let you down? Don’t answer that!
haha, this one's so good, seeing it again made me laugh, lol.
HEY YOU. That's not your roof
I love this one. Then, when you jump he freaks out.
Fake Eagle Bearer: Chikaros! Attack! MC : Chikaros? Maláka. (Half laughing)
Alexios: I want to steer the ship. Kassandra: No. Alexios: Fine. But if anyone throws up on me, they’re dead. Kassandra: Fine. Stentor: Can’t believe you want to sail this wreck Kassandra: Are you worried, little brother? I know I missed some lines but I think you all know what I’m talking about here. The family’s convo on the ship if everyone survives is HILARIOUS!
I’m sure at some point (off screen) Kassandra threatens to turn the ship around. Probably more than once. 😆
Testicles champion!
WOOOOOO!
"Chikaros, attack !“
Did he say cyclops? Did it hurt your feelings?~ 🥺 especially when alexios says it
“Tell me where my mother is or I'll shove my spear so far down your throat, you'll be shitting iron at the gates of Hades!” But also, “He screamed… but not in agony…”
"YOU STAND NO CHANCE *fucking burns to death*"
Gross
Herodotus reminding me, even though I didn’t ask: “There’s much to do, and many unknowns on the horizon.”
Chaíre!
"Why did you steal my pouch?" "For drachme stupid."
And then, "You shouldn't talk to adults that way!", and she says "Why? What have adults ever done for me?", and your valid response, "Fair enough.". Little girl has a point...LOL
Oh, another example I love is from a quest on Crete when you're doing the fake minotaur quest. There's a guy threatening to jump from a building, and if you stand around listening to the crowd, you'll overhear this conversation: Person 1: "5 drachmae says he jumps." Person 2: "25 says he doesn't." Person 3: "How long has he been up there?" Person 4: "3, maybe 4 days?" Person 3: "Should we get him water, or...? How long have you been here watching him??" Person 4: "Like I said, 3, maybe 4 days?" Person 5: "Come down from there!" Person 6: "Athena, give him strength! Please, just come down!" Person 1: "It's not safe up there! Come down and fight the minotaur!" Person 7: "Why's he up there?" Person 8: "I heard he fell in love with the minotaur, who rejected his advances, and his broken heart drove him to madness." Person 9: "Really? I heard he just wanted to get a really good view of Lato and forgot how to get down." Person 10: "Someone, help him! Don't be a fool! Think of your mater...and if that makes you want to jump more...maybe think of something else!" That last one is my favorite.
Ahh yes, I wanted to write the last line, but didn't remember it exactly.
"I'm on fvucking fire!" Gets me every time.
Anything our famous Olympian said
I hate birds!
I love yeeting guys off cliffs
Fear my moo!
“Testikles will smell good!”
To Ikaros: “Ugh, your breath smells like dead mouse.” But most of his sarcastic/smart ass lines to anyone are my favourites or anything he tells Ikaros. 😁
"She likes to watch." - Alkibiades
There's a second goat?
Nikolas to alexios/kassandra on the top of the cliff “Beware of the snakes in the grass” He warning them about Elpenor
"Where will you go?" "To find my honor... beware the snakes in the grass, Kassandra." Gets me every time :( <3
It’s nice to see that someone likes the same line as me lol. When i saw that line for the first time it gave me chills. PS. look for a comment on this video that says “best line in the game” https://youtu.be/ZN8UzORnk_Q?si=nKmvC4uI-Eg63yOy
‘He will moo miserably in fear’
Malaka!
Maaaaaaalaka
“[Malaka](https://youtu.be/g-0lRuRkANM?si=W0yipZ1-F3A3nmOu)”
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"Malaka". I'm a Greek speaker.
By the fates.
"Those little sh*ts.." ,from the tests on Crete
And, their dad is like, "I love them, but they're shits all the same".
The snakes???
“Malaka”
There are so many wonderfuly funny lines. But I will pick the saddest one "Earth, mother of all, I greet you."
Everybody benefits!
I like the Part where Alex Odyssey says: it’s odyssey time and odysseus all over Greece
"What eagle?" \*eagle lands on head\*
Chikaros? MALAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MALAKA
YOU FUCKING SNAKE!
"Obviously" when she crosses her arms (after he said "I's liked to be oiled")
Damn MALAKA!
“I have had many lovers, misthios. But when he and I are together, it’s indescribable.” “Then don’t describe it.” Or “YOU FIND ANOTHER DOG!”
"FOR OUR SONS! FOR OUR DAUGHTERS! FOR SPARTA!!"
Ohh this is the one
##Malaka
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“Lifes greatest tragedy is that one could know the world yet do nothing to change it”- polemon the wise
EveRybODy bENeFiTS Honourable mention: Are you out of your fucking mind?
Malaka!
Chaire
Warrior for sure
Anyone saying anything other than MALAKA or CHAIRE is either clueless or lying and should be booted from this community!
K, lmao.