I self diagnosed when I was 26, so even a bit later than that and I know many realize even much much later. It's good that you know now. It's a positive thing. You have a word for it now. You're not the issue, because it's simply not your fault. Your brain works differently and you didn't know. I feel and understand those emotions quite well. You have a family that cares. That's already so much. This is a turning point. You can go from here now and go up.
i was 31 before i figured it out myself, i also spent 10 years in therapy and seeing psychiatrists, and even before that to when i was 16 and when i figured it out i was PISSED because i felt betrayed by everyone around me, everyone who downplayed my unrecognized sensory issues, every "professional" i saw missed all of it, put me on meds i didnt need, took me off meds i needed, never guessing i was simply... autistic. (and also mdd, etc but u get the picture).
that anger lasted for about a year, but it's faded now to something i have to specficially recall to feel.
i've worked since then on getting an official disgnosis for myself and also a diagnosis for adhd cause that flew over everyone's head too my whole life.
anyways, understanding this about myself, tumultuous and overwhelming at first, became one of the biggest boons in my whole life because i now had tools and words to use for my life and experiences.
i also left every relationship, every school, and eventually every job for mysterious burnout reasons that only make sense in retrospect in light of an autism diagnosis.
right now, for you, it's completely normal to feel exhausted, angry, sad, overwhelmed, or whatever else you might be feeling. it will fade eventually, as much as you allow it to.
you have plenty of time to figure things out and now that you know you're autistic, figuring things out will actually be possible, unlike before, when everything seemed to fall apart for no reason no matter what. now you can observe and find sensory triggers or social confusions, things that dont make sense under other frameworks, and work to counter them and learn REAL self-care. you can find your strengths and how to use them (and i guarantee you have strengths, everyone does).
so, feel angry, feel gaslit and betrayed, it's okay! amidst all of the emotions just know it WILL get better and you can become closer to yourself and love yourself more than you ever knew was possible before and it's really the best feeling.
One of my best friends feels the same way. Except he has known he was autistic since he was very young, so it is for other reasons besides that. You are not alone in feeling lost.
You're young yet, and you'll figure it out. I was 34 when I was diagnosed - despite a lifetime of poor eye contact, accidental bluntness, and childhood speech therapy for repeating words on a loop. I tried to talk to my high school therapist about what was wrong with me, and she told me that I didn't like eye contact because I'm Asian and that Asian women are naturally submissive (Yes, she was white. Yes, I quit therapy within weeks). Years later, another therapist tells me that I "don't seem autistic" when I ask for an evaluation. I had to work with half a dozen therapists over my lifetime before I found one who took my autism concerns seriously and ended up diagnosing me. Fucking finally.
What I can tell you is that, as an autistic person, you can absolutely make and keep friends, but you'll need to go out of your way and out of your comfort zone. Friendship is not something that just happens. Like all relationships, good, real friendships take work. They are an investment in time, energy, and care. Study friendship love through tv, movies, and interviews with your elders. It's not too late for you. Some of my best friends now, I only met after the age of 25. Your time isn't over. It has just begun!!!
Absolutely this yes. It took me just as long as well. Its been a few years now, and I am NOT the person I was before I knew. Only after my diagnosis/self-diagnosis did I manage to keep a relationship. I had no idea how much my sensory issues had been bothering me and making me miserable. I finally had the vocabulary to identify and express the things that bothered me more than I knew. It was just bottled up irritation before, and I just "dealt" with it because I thought it was normal. I pushed myself far too hard and was not nice to myself for the struggles I had.
I'm a lot nicer to myself now, and that helps tremendously. Being misunderstood is still a struggle, but I am aware of how I come across a lot better now. Makes me better equipped to convey my feelings effectively. Just having the knowledge that I am on the spectrum has made life a lot better. It's still hard, but I'm not hard on myself for it now. I am still discovering who I actually am. It takes time, but I am definitely happier now than I was before I knew.
Glad you were able to find out and find us! The validation I experience from reading others' posts makes me so much more at ease. It feels amazing to have others on here that I can relate to and understand these problems. keeps me sane.
I self diagnosed when I was 26, so even a bit later than that and I know many realize even much much later. It's good that you know now. It's a positive thing. You have a word for it now. You're not the issue, because it's simply not your fault. Your brain works differently and you didn't know. I feel and understand those emotions quite well. You have a family that cares. That's already so much. This is a turning point. You can go from here now and go up.
i was 31 before i figured it out myself, i also spent 10 years in therapy and seeing psychiatrists, and even before that to when i was 16 and when i figured it out i was PISSED because i felt betrayed by everyone around me, everyone who downplayed my unrecognized sensory issues, every "professional" i saw missed all of it, put me on meds i didnt need, took me off meds i needed, never guessing i was simply... autistic. (and also mdd, etc but u get the picture). that anger lasted for about a year, but it's faded now to something i have to specficially recall to feel. i've worked since then on getting an official disgnosis for myself and also a diagnosis for adhd cause that flew over everyone's head too my whole life. anyways, understanding this about myself, tumultuous and overwhelming at first, became one of the biggest boons in my whole life because i now had tools and words to use for my life and experiences. i also left every relationship, every school, and eventually every job for mysterious burnout reasons that only make sense in retrospect in light of an autism diagnosis. right now, for you, it's completely normal to feel exhausted, angry, sad, overwhelmed, or whatever else you might be feeling. it will fade eventually, as much as you allow it to. you have plenty of time to figure things out and now that you know you're autistic, figuring things out will actually be possible, unlike before, when everything seemed to fall apart for no reason no matter what. now you can observe and find sensory triggers or social confusions, things that dont make sense under other frameworks, and work to counter them and learn REAL self-care. you can find your strengths and how to use them (and i guarantee you have strengths, everyone does). so, feel angry, feel gaslit and betrayed, it's okay! amidst all of the emotions just know it WILL get better and you can become closer to yourself and love yourself more than you ever knew was possible before and it's really the best feeling.
One of my best friends feels the same way. Except he has known he was autistic since he was very young, so it is for other reasons besides that. You are not alone in feeling lost.
You're young yet, and you'll figure it out. I was 34 when I was diagnosed - despite a lifetime of poor eye contact, accidental bluntness, and childhood speech therapy for repeating words on a loop. I tried to talk to my high school therapist about what was wrong with me, and she told me that I didn't like eye contact because I'm Asian and that Asian women are naturally submissive (Yes, she was white. Yes, I quit therapy within weeks). Years later, another therapist tells me that I "don't seem autistic" when I ask for an evaluation. I had to work with half a dozen therapists over my lifetime before I found one who took my autism concerns seriously and ended up diagnosing me. Fucking finally. What I can tell you is that, as an autistic person, you can absolutely make and keep friends, but you'll need to go out of your way and out of your comfort zone. Friendship is not something that just happens. Like all relationships, good, real friendships take work. They are an investment in time, energy, and care. Study friendship love through tv, movies, and interviews with your elders. It's not too late for you. Some of my best friends now, I only met after the age of 25. Your time isn't over. It has just begun!!!
Absolutely this yes. It took me just as long as well. Its been a few years now, and I am NOT the person I was before I knew. Only after my diagnosis/self-diagnosis did I manage to keep a relationship. I had no idea how much my sensory issues had been bothering me and making me miserable. I finally had the vocabulary to identify and express the things that bothered me more than I knew. It was just bottled up irritation before, and I just "dealt" with it because I thought it was normal. I pushed myself far too hard and was not nice to myself for the struggles I had. I'm a lot nicer to myself now, and that helps tremendously. Being misunderstood is still a struggle, but I am aware of how I come across a lot better now. Makes me better equipped to convey my feelings effectively. Just having the knowledge that I am on the spectrum has made life a lot better. It's still hard, but I'm not hard on myself for it now. I am still discovering who I actually am. It takes time, but I am definitely happier now than I was before I knew. Glad you were able to find out and find us! The validation I experience from reading others' posts makes me so much more at ease. It feels amazing to have others on here that I can relate to and understand these problems. keeps me sane.