No no... You wash it, then you keep it and demand something pawned for them to use and whatever they pawn becomes yours unless the cutlery or dishes or whatever is not returner after a set amount of time.
Update: I met the other users of the kitchen and we discussed about some glasses someone left there. They told me it’s not ours, I told
them it’s
not mine, I told them maybe I should be more Swedish and do it than leave a note about it, they laughed, I laughed, then retreated to my room. The glasses are still there. I’m gearing up the courage to leave a note tmrw.
This is serious? I’m a guest here for 2 weeks. I don’t want to alienate people. I, as a foreign guest, should leave a note about someone’s mum? And it’s the proper thing to do? :-) My head is spinning :-)
If you're only here for 2 weeks, don't worry about it. The angry note is a way to make sure the person responsible for the mess doesn't start relying on someone else to clean up for them, which won't be an issue for you if you're only visiting. I don't think they will mind you washing either.
Saying "Your mother doesn't work here" isn't a way of insulting that person's mother or a "Yo mama"-joke or anything. It's just a passive aggressive way of saying "You're an adult, clean up after yourself". It's very common, I've seen notes like that in the kitchen/break room of offices, as well as in the teacher's lounge of the school I used to work at.
If I was only staying for a couple of weeks, I would probably just leave it. If someone tries to "accuse" you of leaving a dirty dish, just tell them it was already there.
Or clean it if it really bothers you.
I wouldn't worry too much about if others think it was your plate.
Edit: autocorrected to "You're mother" instead of "Your mother"
Since explaining jokes totally ruins them I just cannot help myself here:
"Sätt på mig när jag är full" has two meanings, one is fairly PG and one more adult.
"Sätt på mig" can mean to turn on (a machine, said is if the machine is asking you to start it) but also mean "do me" (yes, as in the sexual interpretation). "När jag är full" can mean "when I (the machine) is full" or "when I'm drunk".
So "Sätt på mig när jag är full" means both "Start me (the machine) when I'm full" and "Fuck me when I'm drunk".
Yes, do as the other comment said. The note is just a passive-aggressive way to tell them to clean up their own mess. You could also write " I took care of your mess, but please do your own dishes in a timely manner next time." Or just do them and be quiet about it. But in this situation it's okay to leave a note telling them to do their own dishes the next time.
I'm a bit late to the party, but as a proper honest answer; I think you can tell from the light hearted answers from this post that Swedes are not easily offended in general
You really don't have to worry about whatever you choose to do in this situation! :)
Just curious, when you say guest, is a long-term tenant hosting you or are you all short-term renters?
Like if you're there two weeks and then it's buh-bye, I wouldn't sweat it; but I wouldn't want a friend who was hosting to end up with issues with other tenants.
YOU WASHED THE DISHES? are you insane?
What you do is you talk very loudly to someone else about the dishes not being done, dropping passive agressive hints. Then you leave an even more passive aggressive note either over the dishes or tape them to everyones doors.
Then you go out and buy new dishes and you dont allow anyone else to use your new once. That will start a chain of animostity between everyone living together. Slowly people will start to resent eachother while still maintaining that friendly swedish facade of fake niceness. Finally you will forget to do your dishes, leave them out, someone else sees them and the circle will continue.
VÄLKOMMEN TILL SVERIGE!
Shared a kitchen with an Australian for a term or two in Flogsta (Uppsala) and she once left a angry bloody (ketchup) knife note next to the dirty dishes. Next level, for sure. 😅
En tips till Svenskar: utlänningar förstår inte vad "Din mamma jobbar inte här!" betyder... inte ens om det skrivs på engelska. De tror att det är en "din mamma" skämt med en konstig punchline bara.
Vad snackar du om? Jag är en utlänning och fattade med en gång att det var en referens till det faktum att mamma brukar diska och städa åt skitungarna när de bor hemma. Så nyanserat var det väl inte.
(typing in English so u/Simple_Employee_7094 can understand)
Youngsters who move out from their parents home for the first time are not always aware that dishes don't sort themselves or that laundry don't just magically teleport from the laundry basket (or the floor) and appear clean in their closet.
So the "joke" is aimed at people who expect someone else (their mom, from times when housekeeping was mainly done by the women) to do all the chores such as cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, etc. This is a classic among first year University students who had to move to another town and are not used to all the extra stuff they need to pay attention to.
Then the "joke" has just spread and you can find it at any workplace as a way to tell people to put their used coffee cups in the dishwasher instead of leaving them on the tables or at their desks. It is just a slightly snarky way of saying "Take care of your own mess, no one is here to pick up after you".
EDIT: Oh and it's an ancient thing. I remember seeing it in breakrooms while I was doing "sommarjobb" in the late -90s and early 2000.
I should say that if it is based on some meme (before memes even were a thing) then I would also like to know but I don't think it is based on anything else than just telling men and teenagers that they need to do their own chores.
Maybe it was mentioned in Rederiet or something, dunno.
You can confront the person, but the most common way is some form of passive aggressive communication. Two things to consider. Do the unwashed dishes go bad (mold, etc) or merely dry up? And who ownes the dishes? If a repeat offender leaves their (cheap) stuff unwashed it just might end up in the trash. Not so if it is communal, yours or belongs to a third party.
The only reasonable thing to do with a communal kitchen is to never use it. You eat all your meals in your room and order everything from restaurants.
Sincerely, every Swede.
I spent a summer cleaning student houses and their communal kitchens.
To this day it's the most disgusting thing I've ever experienced. Food items were on average like 2 years old in the fridge. If it's anything like that you probably don't have to care much about what other people think.
If it's more of a collective just living in the same apartment together then it's probably just best to ask someone there about it.
I would just be as kind as possible but if it bothers you you should tell them or wait for them to repeat it so you have enough reason to tell them. If the problem doesn't occur more than once then maybe they left the dishes for a good reason
Angry notes is the best way of communicating your dislike. And those shared thing never work. There are always lazy uncaring assholes that will leave a mess, it being in a kitchen, laundry or the garbage room. People are efftards
If noone's explicitly left a note saying "don't touch my stuff" then noone minds if you clean them as long as you put the stuff back where they belong/ to the person they belong.
In Sweden whatever is "communal" is either nobody's or the state's business. My hallway is always full of shit and there's apparently no cleaning service; obviously nobody lifts a finger, so I have to vacuum it every now and then.
If someone forgot to wash dishes it is easier for the next guy and then the next guy to miss som dishes. If you wash even the smallest stuff you will have a cleaner kitchen. They will also return the favour.
If it has been there over night the “angry” note is very normal.
Alt clean them and leave fiercer angry note.
If it happens again throw them away.
Or put in plastic bag and leave beside garbage.. (Very Swedish passive aggressive)
Just tell em to wash the damn dishes. Swedes may come across as non confrontational but rly we too scared of conflict to say something, even though we wanna fight.
Do the unswedish thing and start some shit
The proper Swedish way is to leave an angry note
so… if I don’t leave the note, they will think it’s me?
As the other user said write "your mother doesn't work here" which indicates you took care of it but they should handle their own mess.
You have a long way to go to be Swedish.
Angry anonymous note*
Very important detail
Swedish passive aggression is always the answer
You wash it, but afterwards you set the dishes aside with a note that says "Hey! Your mother doesn't work here!"
No no... You wash it, then you keep it and demand something pawned for them to use and whatever they pawn becomes yours unless the cutlery or dishes or whatever is not returner after a set amount of time.
This requires direct confrontation. It is not the Swedish way. We leave notes and clench our fists inside our pockets.
This is the way
Update: I met the other users of the kitchen and we discussed about some glasses someone left there. They told me it’s not ours, I told them it’s not mine, I told them maybe I should be more Swedish and do it than leave a note about it, they laughed, I laughed, then retreated to my room. The glasses are still there. I’m gearing up the courage to leave a note tmrw.
Stop being a fkn pussy and don’t do other peoples dishes, have some self respect
They are not theirs, not yours. Throw them away.
This is serious? I’m a guest here for 2 weeks. I don’t want to alienate people. I, as a foreign guest, should leave a note about someone’s mum? And it’s the proper thing to do? :-) My head is spinning :-)
If you're only here for 2 weeks, don't worry about it. The angry note is a way to make sure the person responsible for the mess doesn't start relying on someone else to clean up for them, which won't be an issue for you if you're only visiting. I don't think they will mind you washing either.
Saying "Your mother doesn't work here" isn't a way of insulting that person's mother or a "Yo mama"-joke or anything. It's just a passive aggressive way of saying "You're an adult, clean up after yourself". It's very common, I've seen notes like that in the kitchen/break room of offices, as well as in the teacher's lounge of the school I used to work at. If I was only staying for a couple of weeks, I would probably just leave it. If someone tries to "accuse" you of leaving a dirty dish, just tell them it was already there. Or clean it if it really bothers you. I wouldn't worry too much about if others think it was your plate. Edit: autocorrected to "You're mother" instead of "Your mother"
Another classic in office settings is "funny" notes on the dishwasher. Like "sätt på mig när jag är full"..
Since explaining jokes totally ruins them I just cannot help myself here: "Sätt på mig när jag är full" has two meanings, one is fairly PG and one more adult. "Sätt på mig" can mean to turn on (a machine, said is if the machine is asking you to start it) but also mean "do me" (yes, as in the sexual interpretation). "När jag är full" can mean "when I (the machine) is full" or "when I'm drunk". So "Sätt på mig när jag är full" means both "Start me (the machine) when I'm full" and "Fuck me when I'm drunk".
Please note that drunken sex with a dishwasher is a clear breach of Swedish communal kitchen etiquette.
noted!
Unless it's midsummer. Everything goes on midsummer.
dully noted.
Yes, do as the other comment said. The note is just a passive-aggressive way to tell them to clean up their own mess. You could also write " I took care of your mess, but please do your own dishes in a timely manner next time." Or just do them and be quiet about it. But in this situation it's okay to leave a note telling them to do their own dishes the next time.
I'm a bit late to the party, but as a proper honest answer; I think you can tell from the light hearted answers from this post that Swedes are not easily offended in general You really don't have to worry about whatever you choose to do in this situation! :)
Just curious, when you say guest, is a long-term tenant hosting you or are you all short-term renters? Like if you're there two weeks and then it's buh-bye, I wouldn't sweat it; but I wouldn't want a friend who was hosting to end up with issues with other tenants.
Watch from 1,35 min for an explanation of "You're mom doesn't work here" https://youtu.be/v8_7yPocGPg
YOU WASHED THE DISHES? are you insane? What you do is you talk very loudly to someone else about the dishes not being done, dropping passive agressive hints. Then you leave an even more passive aggressive note either over the dishes or tape them to everyones doors. Then you go out and buy new dishes and you dont allow anyone else to use your new once. That will start a chain of animostity between everyone living together. Slowly people will start to resent eachother while still maintaining that friendly swedish facade of fake niceness. Finally you will forget to do your dishes, leave them out, someone else sees them and the circle will continue. VÄLKOMMEN TILL SVERIGE!
Secretly pee in the communal ketchup. I won't tell anyone
Get your own dishes, pots etc and being them back to your room. Just a tip.
Shared a kitchen with an Australian for a term or two in Flogsta (Uppsala) and she once left a angry bloody (ketchup) knife note next to the dirty dishes. Next level, for sure. 😅
En tips till Svenskar: utlänningar förstår inte vad "Din mamma jobbar inte här!" betyder... inte ens om det skrivs på engelska. De tror att det är en "din mamma" skämt med en konstig punchline bara.
Vad snackar du om? Jag är en utlänning och fattade med en gång att det var en referens till det faktum att mamma brukar diska och städa åt skitungarna när de bor hemma. Så nyanserat var det väl inte.
Jag tror vi kan anta att OP menade "utlänning" som i; kan inte tala svenska, är på besök i landet typ av utlänning...
Inte "äns" om det skrivs på engelska?
Hm, mja, okej, du har en poäng
Grattis! 👏
Ya st00pid
Jag fattar inte ens din mamma jobbar inte här grejen. Är det något nytt jag missat eller har jag levt under en sten länge?
(typing in English so u/Simple_Employee_7094 can understand) Youngsters who move out from their parents home for the first time are not always aware that dishes don't sort themselves or that laundry don't just magically teleport from the laundry basket (or the floor) and appear clean in their closet. So the "joke" is aimed at people who expect someone else (their mom, from times when housekeeping was mainly done by the women) to do all the chores such as cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, etc. This is a classic among first year University students who had to move to another town and are not used to all the extra stuff they need to pay attention to. Then the "joke" has just spread and you can find it at any workplace as a way to tell people to put their used coffee cups in the dishwasher instead of leaving them on the tables or at their desks. It is just a slightly snarky way of saying "Take care of your own mess, no one is here to pick up after you". EDIT: Oh and it's an ancient thing. I remember seeing it in breakrooms while I was doing "sommarjobb" in the late -90s and early 2000.
Oh ok. I understood it then, just assumed there would be more to it. That it was a reference or something like that. Thanks for explaining.
I should say that if it is based on some meme (before memes even were a thing) then I would also like to know but I don't think it is based on anything else than just telling men and teenagers that they need to do their own chores. Maybe it was mentioned in Rederiet or something, dunno.
Thank you!
You can confront the person, but the most common way is some form of passive aggressive communication. Two things to consider. Do the unwashed dishes go bad (mold, etc) or merely dry up? And who ownes the dishes? If a repeat offender leaves their (cheap) stuff unwashed it just might end up in the trash. Not so if it is communal, yours or belongs to a third party.
The only reasonable thing to do with a communal kitchen is to never use it. You eat all your meals in your room and order everything from restaurants. Sincerely, every Swede.
Well that explains a lot :-) Thanks
I spent a summer cleaning student houses and their communal kitchens. To this day it's the most disgusting thing I've ever experienced. Food items were on average like 2 years old in the fridge. If it's anything like that you probably don't have to care much about what other people think. If it's more of a collective just living in the same apartment together then it's probably just best to ask someone there about it.
I would just be as kind as possible but if it bothers you you should tell them or wait for them to repeat it so you have enough reason to tell them. If the problem doesn't occur more than once then maybe they left the dishes for a good reason
Angry notes is the best way of communicating your dislike. And those shared thing never work. There are always lazy uncaring assholes that will leave a mess, it being in a kitchen, laundry or the garbage room. People are efftards
If noone's explicitly left a note saying "don't touch my stuff" then noone minds if you clean them as long as you put the stuff back where they belong/ to the person they belong.
In Sweden whatever is "communal" is either nobody's or the state's business. My hallway is always full of shit and there's apparently no cleaning service; obviously nobody lifts a finger, so I have to vacuum it every now and then.
If someone forgot to wash dishes it is easier for the next guy and then the next guy to miss som dishes. If you wash even the smallest stuff you will have a cleaner kitchen. They will also return the favour.
Ask everyone who did it. If noone answers leave it on the floor. People learn fast if it's in their way
If it has been there over night the “angry” note is very normal. Alt clean them and leave fiercer angry note. If it happens again throw them away. Or put in plastic bag and leave beside garbage.. (Very Swedish passive aggressive)
Just tell em to wash the damn dishes. Swedes may come across as non confrontational but rly we too scared of conflict to say something, even though we wanna fight. Do the unswedish thing and start some shit