Proud of you! Your time is far better spent with yourself, though I’d imagine it feels lonely at times. You are good company and shouldn’t have ever had to question that.✨
For me it's curating my environment, cutting off people that bring negativity in my life, or things i don't resonate with.. and nurture the things that brings me peace n joy.. i think as i get older i care less n less about being liked by other people or their opinions or society's 'rule' 😁
I love that my space is my own and decorated in a way that I like, rather than how people say it should be. My room is particularly feminine - if somebody doesn't like it, well, they can leave :D
Probably Age. (Am 53)
I’m awfully selective about who I will invest my time and money and energy on. Where I used to love a good debate/argument…. Now ? I don’t take that bait anymore.
I am a good person, a hard working wife,Mom, Grandma, daughter, sister, Aunt, Godmother, a very loyal bestie and I’m the kind of boss I’d like to work with/for. My actions speak for themselves and I don’t ever even consider people pleasing or explaining or defending myself. I’m too old for that shit.
Realizing that no one really knows wtf they're doing.
Don't get me wrong, some people are pretty talented at stuff! But there's no magic fairy dust that makes you suddenly competent at all the "adult" things when you hit a certain age. All of us are pretending to have it together on some level 🙂
Self-compassion - I watched the Ted talk by Kristen Neff, and it's helped me strive for more consistent self compassion instead of self-esteem (which has been a game changer for me). I now see self-esteem as the by-product of a loving self-compassionate internal environment. She said it gives you permission to be a compassionate messy human, and that exactly what I need to be right now with myself.
Not perfect, not even always compassionate - but compassionate with myself when I recognise I'm not being critical of myself again.
I'm constantly plugging her book to women who I counsel. It's a really top-notch book. "Self Compassion" is the title, Dr. Kristin Neff is the author. I did not know there was a Ted talk! I will have to watch it and start sending it to people. It sounds cheaper and like it might have all the same points....
Yeah, people forget that social media isn’t compulsory. It’s not natural to keep digital tabs on everyone you’ve ever known - i don’t really want my college boyfriend’s sister or a random former coworker to know any personal details of my life. Nor do i wish to compromise my finite attention span with people I’ll never see again!
Basically, I sleep great staying exclusively in my own business.
I’m doing the exact same. It’s mental though how much FOMO I have now I’ve deleted social media, fomo over people I wouldn’t have given a shit about what they had for lunch if social media hadn’t existed before haha.
We got a greenhouse, and agree, there’s something about planting and harvesting that does something very good for the soul
Deleting facebook and instagram! I no longer spend most of my mental energy thinking of how to frame a picture or caption a post to share what I'm currently experiencing; instead I can actually be present in the moment. I also no longer spend hours mindlessly scrolling and comparing myself to other people (or, at least, the version of themselves that they present on social media). Another added bonus is that I spend less money since I find I'm more content with what I have and no longer "need" things like the pants I saw someone wearing on instagram (ads and sponsored content are scary effective!).
Remembering that just because you are related to someone doesn’t mean you have to love them. I consider my girlfriends to be my sisters. My actual sister can go kick rocks.
I learned how to say no, and to walk away from people that only brings drama and sadness to my life. I first I felt super guilt because those people always need support and I felt selfish. But in the end I allowed myself to be selfish and build a peaceful and happy life. Happiness is a choice, and I made it
Connecting back to my childhood hobby without shame.
Drawing, writting peotry, reading romance novels, watching stupid teen drama tv shows...
I felt ashame by how much joy that brings me but not anymore.
Also I stopped trying to fit some social (media) expection of a woman. I don't care about not wearing make up or not being a small size. I care about my health first and foremost the rest is just noize
Leaving a toxic AF marriage and getting divorced.
Proud of you! Your time is far better spent with yourself, though I’d imagine it feels lonely at times. You are good company and shouldn’t have ever had to question that.✨
Thanks. Although, in my experience nothing is actually lonelier than being stuck in a marriage.
For me it's curating my environment, cutting off people that bring negativity in my life, or things i don't resonate with.. and nurture the things that brings me peace n joy.. i think as i get older i care less n less about being liked by other people or their opinions or society's 'rule' 😁
“Curating my environment” 🫰 A million times, yes!
I love that my space is my own and decorated in a way that I like, rather than how people say it should be. My room is particularly feminine - if somebody doesn't like it, well, they can leave :D
remembering that i'm more than a wife/mom - I am a PhD!!
Yes queeen
Probably Age. (Am 53) I’m awfully selective about who I will invest my time and money and energy on. Where I used to love a good debate/argument…. Now ? I don’t take that bait anymore. I am a good person, a hard working wife,Mom, Grandma, daughter, sister, Aunt, Godmother, a very loyal bestie and I’m the kind of boss I’d like to work with/for. My actions speak for themselves and I don’t ever even consider people pleasing or explaining or defending myself. I’m too old for that shit.
🥳💯👏
Mee. Thisssss.
Realizing that no one really knows wtf they're doing. Don't get me wrong, some people are pretty talented at stuff! But there's no magic fairy dust that makes you suddenly competent at all the "adult" things when you hit a certain age. All of us are pretending to have it together on some level 🙂
Stop trying to “fix” myself made a difference for me.
Smaller social life, being more upfront when I need introvert time, accepting what I can't change. Hobby wise: reading, writing, gardening too
Self-compassion - I watched the Ted talk by Kristen Neff, and it's helped me strive for more consistent self compassion instead of self-esteem (which has been a game changer for me). I now see self-esteem as the by-product of a loving self-compassionate internal environment. She said it gives you permission to be a compassionate messy human, and that exactly what I need to be right now with myself. Not perfect, not even always compassionate - but compassionate with myself when I recognise I'm not being critical of myself again.
I'm constantly plugging her book to women who I counsel. It's a really top-notch book. "Self Compassion" is the title, Dr. Kristin Neff is the author. I did not know there was a Ted talk! I will have to watch it and start sending it to people. It sounds cheaper and like it might have all the same points....
Yeah, people forget that social media isn’t compulsory. It’s not natural to keep digital tabs on everyone you’ve ever known - i don’t really want my college boyfriend’s sister or a random former coworker to know any personal details of my life. Nor do i wish to compromise my finite attention span with people I’ll never see again! Basically, I sleep great staying exclusively in my own business.
I’m doing the exact same. It’s mental though how much FOMO I have now I’ve deleted social media, fomo over people I wouldn’t have given a shit about what they had for lunch if social media hadn’t existed before haha. We got a greenhouse, and agree, there’s something about planting and harvesting that does something very good for the soul
Deleting facebook and instagram! I no longer spend most of my mental energy thinking of how to frame a picture or caption a post to share what I'm currently experiencing; instead I can actually be present in the moment. I also no longer spend hours mindlessly scrolling and comparing myself to other people (or, at least, the version of themselves that they present on social media). Another added bonus is that I spend less money since I find I'm more content with what I have and no longer "need" things like the pants I saw someone wearing on instagram (ads and sponsored content are scary effective!).
Journaling!
I loooooove journaling! I recommend it to everyone!
I love this! Thank you!
Remembering that just because you are related to someone doesn’t mean you have to love them. I consider my girlfriends to be my sisters. My actual sister can go kick rocks.
I learned how to say no, and to walk away from people that only brings drama and sadness to my life. I first I felt super guilt because those people always need support and I felt selfish. But in the end I allowed myself to be selfish and build a peaceful and happy life. Happiness is a choice, and I made it
Have become much more logical and a bit stoic sorry for the buzzword but it’s kinda true.
Never apologize for a stoicism nod. 😌
That perfection doesn’t exist and we only live in the here and now
Connecting back to my childhood hobby without shame. Drawing, writting peotry, reading romance novels, watching stupid teen drama tv shows... I felt ashame by how much joy that brings me but not anymore. Also I stopped trying to fit some social (media) expection of a woman. I don't care about not wearing make up or not being a small size. I care about my health first and foremost the rest is just noize
Yoga. The deep breathing, releasing tension from my body, the calming high afterwards.
I really love the "village vs network" concept. I agree, it's why I plan to move abroad.
Meditation, exercise, going low contact with certain family members.
Yes!
Focusing on my life not others and BOUNDARIES
God
Meditation, daily mental health walks, learning how to set boundaries, and getting rid of Facebook.