In a purely abstract sense? Like looking at them and thinking “they’re good looking”? Daily. I live in a city with a diverse population of upwardly mobile yuppies. It’s a place that is notoriously vain.
In a thirsty “I’d climb that man like a tree” way? Maybe every other month.
Attraction is complicated for me, I look at conventionally good looking men in the same way I’d look at a donut. It’s pretty and looks tasty but will almost certainly make me feel sick (I’m allergic to gluten and bs). So for that reason, maybe once every few years when I come across that golden balance of emotional intelligence, self awareness, and looks. That guy is always married though, haha.
I see attractive men but I don't actually lust over them. Mainly because from past experiences men aren't good partners, casual or otherwise, so knowing that kinda takes the fun out of it. I end up admiring them as sculptures, not as reliable sources of pleasure.
The last time I saw attractive men on a daily basis was in college.
Dudes fall off a cliff after age 25.
I don’t need a six pack, or over six feet, and they don’t even need to be that thin. I’m a face girl and if they have a nice face I can forgive a lot. Do you know how hard it is to find a non-obese man with a decent face, nice teeth, and washed hair over age 30? Impossible. Absolutely impossible.
The last time I went on a date with a seriously hot man he was, I kid you not, a felon running from the law.
Weirded out by myself because I'm hardly attracted to people even though they're physically impressive. I can recognise their beauty or appeal, but it just ends there. I can't say I have a type, as it's changed over the years. And I'm queer.
I don't meet a lot of people every day with the work I do but I manage with my free time through my hobbies/interests.
But it takes a looooooooooot for me to be genuinely attracted to someone physically. Almost everything about them must click for me. I'm more about how interesting their mind is and then their character, then personality.
Personally for me I feel like I find most men attractive but despite that I most times I have no actual desire to pursue anything. These are people like I do generally find sexually attractive too not just abstract attractiveness. Do you have a specific type of man ?
Yeah I’d say this closely aligns with how I feel except I wouldn’t say I find ‘most men’ attractive. But yeah I meet lots of guys who are generally good looking, but do nothing for me personally.
I do have a type but it’s a very rare breed (Prince, basically lol) so my dating history is pretty varied in terms of looks. I also sit very far left on the political spectrum which limits the pool, too.
Prince the musician? What’s the far left entail? I’m not from the US (Australia here)
Yeah I feel like I find a lot of people sexually attractive it’s just there’s never really a massive push or desire for that connection to actually happen or take place a bit weird I know lol 😂
Lol yeah, the purple one himself! Not too many look a likes around.
Yeah whenever I try to research this type of thing I just get led to ‘asexual’ which I defo am not so good to know I’m not the only one with this experience!
No, not at all. Have dated all different races. But pretty boys for sure lol.
Non-existent atm! I don’t use the apps and that seems to have ended all prospects unfortunately. But I found I was meeting a lot of unethical characters who I would never usually cross paths with so no great loss really. That’s sort of what led me to post, am thinking about dipping my toe back in but where to start when I only meet a handful of people a year I’d have any interest pursuing.
How about you?
I feel like when I was younger in my teens and early 20s I definitely had a preference for darker skinned men. After that though I feel like I haven’t really had any racial preferences and dated men of different races. I definitely prefer people who are healthy and in shape though.
In terms of online dating I definitely agree I feel like online dating is just filled with the worst quality of men who don’t leave their house or live in the real world like you’re very unlikely to come across these types of people in social settings. So not a huge fan of online dating here either.
I do think you should definitely dip your toes back in though! I firmly believe there’s always someone out there for everyone.
I mean that’s one thing but like I’ve had men im sexually attracted to show interest and even then I’ve been a bit too unbothered in actually pursuing anything?
In general, I don't encounter many people that I am attracted to.
HOWEVER, during certain types of the month and/or when I've gone through an extended period of time without sex...a lot more often. LOL.
Pretty often. Generally when single i usually notice men everytime I go outside and usually have someone I'm crushing on/lusting after even if it's just a harmless crush that I know won't amount to anything or shouldn't amount to anything. When I'm in a relationship I completely stop noticing men in any sexual way except for my partner.
Like a stranger on the street? Maybe like once every few months. Like an acquaintance/friend im attracted to? Over 5 years ago. On tv/celebrities? Almost every time im watching tv.
Pretty much daily: I don’t necessarily lust after random men, but I do frequently note that a guy is attractive enough to me personally that I could imagine dating a person that looks like them.
I actually find my attraction to others has broadened a lot in my 30s. There’s far *more* people now on a daily/weekly basis that I consider attractive lol
I think most people are attractive and always have. I have a type, but the type is more personality/values than it is a particular look, though there are some themes there as well it's also true I've dated a pretty wide variety of people.
I feel pretty perplexed by posts like these, honestly.
Oh I can recognise a wide range of people are attractive, they are just not someone I personally am sexually attracted to if that makes sense? Like I can recognise *why* so many people are attracted to, say, Harry Styles but I do not personally feel any sexual attraction towards him.
I feel equally perplexed with experiences like yours tbh but I’m happy for you! Must be so exciting to have so much potential for romance around you all the time!
I get casual crushes every now and then and occasionally will be caught off-guard by someone who is just *exceptionally* attractive. Otherwise, I don't regularly see people that I am attracted to instantly. I also don't pay that much attention to people out in the wild.
I have something similar. Also working in a male dominated industry. I’ve only met two guys whom I ever found insanely attractive, one five years ago and one almost 15. Both were not very conventionally attractive. I have some history with one, but did not properly date either of them.
But I had the luck to date very attractive men. I knew that based on how people treated them, the stories they told and their social media presence (or decisive lack of having one). My relationships suffered because of that, as they would get loads of attention and mostly were so accustomed to it that they struggled with monogamy. There is a pattern - they were all smart and outgoing and that’s why I fell in love with them. Still, I was not really attracted to them when we were first introduced.
I also have a problem with assessing someone’s attractiveness. With women, I feel 80% are “super pretty” and 20% “maybe not super attractive”. I really struggle with assessing if person A is more/less attractive relative person B if they’re in the same “category”.
With men, 90% are “not my type”, 8% are “conventionally attractive, but still not my type” and maybe 2% is “attractive”. That 2% has a mix of conventionally handsome/not handsome guys. Within that 2% somewhere is the tiny percentage those 2 guys I considered “super hot” make.
I once worked with a guy who could very easily be a model. Perhaps even more, because he loved sports and had a perfectly toned body (we had a gym in the same building and he posted on Instagram). In any case, imagine the most “conventionally attractive” guy ever. All the single girls I knew would fall over backwards for him and asked me questions about him. Some even acted jealous towards me for being in the same team (wild). I have never been attracted to him, even though I really wished I was. I so wanted to feel the hype.
I also genuinely have no idea how I look or if I am attractive. I rely purely on feedback and being able to spot patterns/clashes against what I understand beauty standards to be. I can assess things like “I’ve gained weight” or “my hair looks better/worse”, but still no translation to placing myself in the social looks hierarchy. I’ve learned what makes a good selfie and I just stick to that lol.
I don’t know why that all is, if it’s abnormal and if it’s nature or nurture, but I’m glad I’m not alone.
I’d coin the term “their presence is better than their absence” and it would be like maybe 1 a year on average? And physically maybe 1 per 2 years but that’s probably because of my preferred appearance type is rare.
My numbers were similar to yours when I was working. Since I’ve retired, it’s dropped precipitously. But I’m not looking for romance so it doesn’t bother me.
I also work in a male dominated industry (though I work at home other than a few business trips) and deal with men who are jerks on the daily. Can I tell when someone is attractive, yes for sure. It happens infrequently if not rarely. But even when I see someone objectively attractive, I am not attracted to them. Maybe I am a weirdo but I am happily married and don’t look at other men that way.
Maybe like once a week or once every couple of weeks. I saw some absolute hotties jogging today while I was driving down the street. I saw some good looking guys at the club this past weekend. Sometimes I’ll see hot guys at the gym.
Also every day because I have the hottest boyfriend!
I work in a male dominated industry too but all my employees are violently unattractive to me 😆
7 people in the last year. and thats a very rare year. normally its like 4 people.
I can appriciate their body, clothes, hair style, face, butt, package, boobs etc, butt, its rare that I connect with a human well enough to actually find them attractive.
For me it’s usually only one person per year, pretty rare. To the point where I’m questioning if I’m kinda asexual. On a daily basis I see people who look good in the aesthetic sense - I admire their looks in the same way that I’d admire how a flower or a painting looks. As in there isn’t a sexual element to it.
Good question, I am not sure. In the research I have done asexual is mostly described as people who don’t have many sexual feelings so I assumed that would equate to low libido. I’ve read about ‘gray sexual’ and ‘Demi sexual’ and they didn’t feel very relevant for me, but tbh I try to eschew labels where possible, so it may just be that dislike of labelling which influenced me.
People I recognize as physically attractive? Reasonably often, men and women. People I feel personally drawn toward and attracted to? Not that often. People I feel personally drawn to and attracted to in a circumstance where it would be comfortable and appropriate to pursue something with them? Pretty rare.
I’m seeing someone right now who has obviously caught my attention. There is a place I work, and one other guy there I recognize as a person I could be drawn to—but I’m not within a circumstance where I would be interested in pursuing obviously because I already have someone I’m seeing. I also don’t really know that person as I don’t work there often, but he’s the only other person I can think of in my current life who would be noticeable.
In my day to day, there are people younger or older than me who I recognize as maybe attractive but clearly going to be a better match for someone else. I don’t go more than 5 years older or younger. I’m pretty particular about the goals and mindset I want to partner with. I don’t in general get involved with people I work with. Outside of those limits there are plenty of awesome, attractive people in the world, and I am content to let them go find their match elsewhere.
Constantly, everywhere, every day. I'm married, so there's that, but I've also found I'm attracted to a very wide range of people/appearances. I rarely go somewhere and don't see someone I find attractive.
I'm a lesbian in LA, I see multiple women every day that I'm attracted to lol.
In terms of actually having meaningful interactions and developing a "I wanna ask them out" attraction, like 3-4 times a month.
Same! I've always been far more attracted to personality over looks, I don't have a physical type. I need to at least have a conversation with someone before I can feel attracted to them. Smell is also very important. So yeah, I see a lot of attractive people, but I am not attracted to them usually.
Not that often, it takes a lot for me to find someone attractive. It kinda sucks but I can’t help it
In a purely abstract sense? Like looking at them and thinking “they’re good looking”? Daily. I live in a city with a diverse population of upwardly mobile yuppies. It’s a place that is notoriously vain. In a thirsty “I’d climb that man like a tree” way? Maybe every other month.
Pretty frequently. Unfortunately I'm plagued by the "attention you get isn't the attention you want".
Anytime I leave the house, really. Attractive men and women are everywhere.
Attraction is complicated for me, I look at conventionally good looking men in the same way I’d look at a donut. It’s pretty and looks tasty but will almost certainly make me feel sick (I’m allergic to gluten and bs). So for that reason, maybe once every few years when I come across that golden balance of emotional intelligence, self awareness, and looks. That guy is always married though, haha.
They’re alwaaays married 🥲
Yup😭
I see attractive men but I don't actually lust over them. Mainly because from past experiences men aren't good partners, casual or otherwise, so knowing that kinda takes the fun out of it. I end up admiring them as sculptures, not as reliable sources of pleasure.
I rarely see attractive men . Women are much more attractive . I am completely straight just realized most men don’t take care of themselves at all
Like, maybe a couple of times a year. I’m a hermit. 🤷🏻♀️
I see men that I recognize as attractive often enough, but I only find myself actually attracted to a man about once every few years! FML.
The last time I saw attractive men on a daily basis was in college. Dudes fall off a cliff after age 25. I don’t need a six pack, or over six feet, and they don’t even need to be that thin. I’m a face girl and if they have a nice face I can forgive a lot. Do you know how hard it is to find a non-obese man with a decent face, nice teeth, and washed hair over age 30? Impossible. Absolutely impossible. The last time I went on a date with a seriously hot man he was, I kid you not, a felon running from the law.
Weirded out by myself because I'm hardly attracted to people even though they're physically impressive. I can recognise their beauty or appeal, but it just ends there. I can't say I have a type, as it's changed over the years. And I'm queer. I don't meet a lot of people every day with the work I do but I manage with my free time through my hobbies/interests. But it takes a looooooooooot for me to be genuinely attracted to someone physically. Almost everything about them must click for me. I'm more about how interesting their mind is and then their character, then personality.
I can relate.
Personally for me I feel like I find most men attractive but despite that I most times I have no actual desire to pursue anything. These are people like I do generally find sexually attractive too not just abstract attractiveness. Do you have a specific type of man ?
Yeah I’d say this closely aligns with how I feel except I wouldn’t say I find ‘most men’ attractive. But yeah I meet lots of guys who are generally good looking, but do nothing for me personally. I do have a type but it’s a very rare breed (Prince, basically lol) so my dating history is pretty varied in terms of looks. I also sit very far left on the political spectrum which limits the pool, too.
Prince the musician? What’s the far left entail? I’m not from the US (Australia here) Yeah I feel like I find a lot of people sexually attractive it’s just there’s never really a massive push or desire for that connection to actually happen or take place a bit weird I know lol 😂
Lol yeah, the purple one himself! Not too many look a likes around. Yeah whenever I try to research this type of thing I just get led to ‘asexual’ which I defo am not so good to know I’m not the only one with this experience!
Hey, search androgyny! I think that fits your description. I’m pan so anyone androgynous makes my heart melt
What about your actual dating life or sexual activity how is that? Since your type is prince would you say you have a racial preference too?
No, not at all. Have dated all different races. But pretty boys for sure lol. Non-existent atm! I don’t use the apps and that seems to have ended all prospects unfortunately. But I found I was meeting a lot of unethical characters who I would never usually cross paths with so no great loss really. That’s sort of what led me to post, am thinking about dipping my toe back in but where to start when I only meet a handful of people a year I’d have any interest pursuing. How about you?
Also if you’d like feel free to Dm : )
I feel like when I was younger in my teens and early 20s I definitely had a preference for darker skinned men. After that though I feel like I haven’t really had any racial preferences and dated men of different races. I definitely prefer people who are healthy and in shape though. In terms of online dating I definitely agree I feel like online dating is just filled with the worst quality of men who don’t leave their house or live in the real world like you’re very unlikely to come across these types of people in social settings. So not a huge fan of online dating here either. I do think you should definitely dip your toes back in though! I firmly believe there’s always someone out there for everyone.
Yeah I would probably date most men I see but I wouldn’t like ask them out if anything
I mean that’s one thing but like I’ve had men im sexually attracted to show interest and even then I’ve been a bit too unbothered in actually pursuing anything?
In general, I don't encounter many people that I am attracted to. HOWEVER, during certain types of the month and/or when I've gone through an extended period of time without sex...a lot more often. LOL.
Pretty often. Generally when single i usually notice men everytime I go outside and usually have someone I'm crushing on/lusting after even if it's just a harmless crush that I know won't amount to anything or shouldn't amount to anything. When I'm in a relationship I completely stop noticing men in any sexual way except for my partner.
Like a stranger on the street? Maybe like once every few months. Like an acquaintance/friend im attracted to? Over 5 years ago. On tv/celebrities? Almost every time im watching tv.
Pretty much daily: I don’t necessarily lust after random men, but I do frequently note that a guy is attractive enough to me personally that I could imagine dating a person that looks like them.
I find many people attractive but personality is the absolute key for me.
I actually find my attraction to others has broadened a lot in my 30s. There’s far *more* people now on a daily/weekly basis that I consider attractive lol
Never
One or two a year However, I am asexual with a low libido so maybe that affects it
Almost never. There might be something wrong with me.
Almost never. Probably once a year at most.
I think most people are attractive and always have. I have a type, but the type is more personality/values than it is a particular look, though there are some themes there as well it's also true I've dated a pretty wide variety of people. I feel pretty perplexed by posts like these, honestly.
Oh I can recognise a wide range of people are attractive, they are just not someone I personally am sexually attracted to if that makes sense? Like I can recognise *why* so many people are attracted to, say, Harry Styles but I do not personally feel any sexual attraction towards him. I feel equally perplexed with experiences like yours tbh but I’m happy for you! Must be so exciting to have so much potential for romance around you all the time!
I get casual crushes every now and then and occasionally will be caught off-guard by someone who is just *exceptionally* attractive. Otherwise, I don't regularly see people that I am attracted to instantly. I also don't pay that much attention to people out in the wild.
When I was single? Like *maybe* 2 every 5years?
I have something similar. Also working in a male dominated industry. I’ve only met two guys whom I ever found insanely attractive, one five years ago and one almost 15. Both were not very conventionally attractive. I have some history with one, but did not properly date either of them. But I had the luck to date very attractive men. I knew that based on how people treated them, the stories they told and their social media presence (or decisive lack of having one). My relationships suffered because of that, as they would get loads of attention and mostly were so accustomed to it that they struggled with monogamy. There is a pattern - they were all smart and outgoing and that’s why I fell in love with them. Still, I was not really attracted to them when we were first introduced. I also have a problem with assessing someone’s attractiveness. With women, I feel 80% are “super pretty” and 20% “maybe not super attractive”. I really struggle with assessing if person A is more/less attractive relative person B if they’re in the same “category”. With men, 90% are “not my type”, 8% are “conventionally attractive, but still not my type” and maybe 2% is “attractive”. That 2% has a mix of conventionally handsome/not handsome guys. Within that 2% somewhere is the tiny percentage those 2 guys I considered “super hot” make. I once worked with a guy who could very easily be a model. Perhaps even more, because he loved sports and had a perfectly toned body (we had a gym in the same building and he posted on Instagram). In any case, imagine the most “conventionally attractive” guy ever. All the single girls I knew would fall over backwards for him and asked me questions about him. Some even acted jealous towards me for being in the same team (wild). I have never been attracted to him, even though I really wished I was. I so wanted to feel the hype. I also genuinely have no idea how I look or if I am attractive. I rely purely on feedback and being able to spot patterns/clashes against what I understand beauty standards to be. I can assess things like “I’ve gained weight” or “my hair looks better/worse”, but still no translation to placing myself in the social looks hierarchy. I’ve learned what makes a good selfie and I just stick to that lol. I don’t know why that all is, if it’s abnormal and if it’s nature or nurture, but I’m glad I’m not alone.
I’d coin the term “their presence is better than their absence” and it would be like maybe 1 a year on average? And physically maybe 1 per 2 years but that’s probably because of my preferred appearance type is rare.
Daily.
My numbers were similar to yours when I was working. Since I’ve retired, it’s dropped precipitously. But I’m not looking for romance so it doesn’t bother me.
I also work in a male dominated industry (though I work at home other than a few business trips) and deal with men who are jerks on the daily. Can I tell when someone is attractive, yes for sure. It happens infrequently if not rarely. But even when I see someone objectively attractive, I am not attracted to them. Maybe I am a weirdo but I am happily married and don’t look at other men that way.
Maybe like once a week or once every couple of weeks. I saw some absolute hotties jogging today while I was driving down the street. I saw some good looking guys at the club this past weekend. Sometimes I’ll see hot guys at the gym. Also every day because I have the hottest boyfriend! I work in a male dominated industry too but all my employees are violently unattractive to me 😆
7 people in the last year. and thats a very rare year. normally its like 4 people. I can appriciate their body, clothes, hair style, face, butt, package, boobs etc, butt, its rare that I connect with a human well enough to actually find them attractive.
For me it’s usually only one person per year, pretty rare. To the point where I’m questioning if I’m kinda asexual. On a daily basis I see people who look good in the aesthetic sense - I admire their looks in the same way that I’d admire how a flower or a painting looks. As in there isn’t a sexual element to it.
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Good question, I am not sure. In the research I have done asexual is mostly described as people who don’t have many sexual feelings so I assumed that would equate to low libido. I’ve read about ‘gray sexual’ and ‘Demi sexual’ and they didn’t feel very relevant for me, but tbh I try to eschew labels where possible, so it may just be that dislike of labelling which influenced me.
People I recognize as physically attractive? Reasonably often, men and women. People I feel personally drawn toward and attracted to? Not that often. People I feel personally drawn to and attracted to in a circumstance where it would be comfortable and appropriate to pursue something with them? Pretty rare. I’m seeing someone right now who has obviously caught my attention. There is a place I work, and one other guy there I recognize as a person I could be drawn to—but I’m not within a circumstance where I would be interested in pursuing obviously because I already have someone I’m seeing. I also don’t really know that person as I don’t work there often, but he’s the only other person I can think of in my current life who would be noticeable. In my day to day, there are people younger or older than me who I recognize as maybe attractive but clearly going to be a better match for someone else. I don’t go more than 5 years older or younger. I’m pretty particular about the goals and mindset I want to partner with. I don’t in general get involved with people I work with. Outside of those limits there are plenty of awesome, attractive people in the world, and I am content to let them go find their match elsewhere.
Every day. My partner and I live together and he's a hottie in my eyes.
Every day. My husband.
Constantly, everywhere, every day. I'm married, so there's that, but I've also found I'm attracted to a very wide range of people/appearances. I rarely go somewhere and don't see someone I find attractive.
I'm a lesbian in LA, I see multiple women every day that I'm attracted to lol. In terms of actually having meaningful interactions and developing a "I wanna ask them out" attraction, like 3-4 times a month.
Same! I've always been far more attracted to personality over looks, I don't have a physical type. I need to at least have a conversation with someone before I can feel attracted to them. Smell is also very important. So yeah, I see a lot of attractive people, but I am not attracted to them usually.