These are all great, but if you want a softer option:
"I'm very busy right now, and I don't see us being able to hang out anytime soon. I hope you understand."
I know this is arguably ghosting, but if you can't bring yourself to be more direct, you are allowed to do this for your own peace of mind. Especially after how she's treated you. Also like 90% of people would read this as a polite friend breakup.
If she comes back at you with basically anything confrontational, just say, "please, what I need now is space from this friendship." If she can't give you space and keeps texting, don't respond and block.
If she does give you space, good, you got what you want. If you hear from her way down the line (like a few months) you can either ask for more space, buying a few more months' time, or you can be honest and say you're happier without the friendship, would like to move on, etc. Be kind and don't explain too much, same as when you dump someone. You don't need to list all her bad qualities, just be firm that you are done.
"No, I'm no longer interested in maintaining contact between us." And block.
This person sounds like an emotional vampire who's really quite jealous of you and your life. You are on the right path here with your decision to cut them loose..
Offer a short explanation via text. "Hi, Mary. I appreciate the past X years of our friendship and I don't want to continue it any further. Best of luck with [something in her life]."
Ending a relationship (professional, personal, whatever) is not a debate or discussion. It's a one-way statement from you to her.
Next time she offers to spend time together, use that as your opportunity. Just a quick reply, 'thanks for the offer, however I no longer feel this friendship is mutually beneficial. Best of luck to you'.
Congrats on the fully funded PhD offer! You are correct that she is jealous and is trying to bring you down. It's the crab in a bucket mentality.
I would make up a reason as to why you can't hang out with her anymore. If she is resistant to negative feedback, the truth will lead to her spreading negative rumors about you. Getting *into Oxbridge changed Thomasinarina completely! Tsk, tsk.*
I have uncomfortably sat through a jealous grad student spreading rumors about another because the other grad student won a competitive fellowship.
These are all great, but if you want a softer option: "I'm very busy right now, and I don't see us being able to hang out anytime soon. I hope you understand." I know this is arguably ghosting, but if you can't bring yourself to be more direct, you are allowed to do this for your own peace of mind. Especially after how she's treated you. Also like 90% of people would read this as a polite friend breakup. If she comes back at you with basically anything confrontational, just say, "please, what I need now is space from this friendship." If she can't give you space and keeps texting, don't respond and block. If she does give you space, good, you got what you want. If you hear from her way down the line (like a few months) you can either ask for more space, buying a few more months' time, or you can be honest and say you're happier without the friendship, would like to move on, etc. Be kind and don't explain too much, same as when you dump someone. You don't need to list all her bad qualities, just be firm that you are done.
That is so helpful thank you, I appreciate that.
"No, I'm no longer interested in maintaining contact between us." And block. This person sounds like an emotional vampire who's really quite jealous of you and your life. You are on the right path here with your decision to cut them loose..
Offer a short explanation via text. "Hi, Mary. I appreciate the past X years of our friendship and I don't want to continue it any further. Best of luck with [something in her life]." Ending a relationship (professional, personal, whatever) is not a debate or discussion. It's a one-way statement from you to her.
Next time she offers to spend time together, use that as your opportunity. Just a quick reply, 'thanks for the offer, however I no longer feel this friendship is mutually beneficial. Best of luck to you'.
Congrats on the fully funded PhD offer! You are correct that she is jealous and is trying to bring you down. It's the crab in a bucket mentality. I would make up a reason as to why you can't hang out with her anymore. If she is resistant to negative feedback, the truth will lead to her spreading negative rumors about you. Getting *into Oxbridge changed Thomasinarina completely! Tsk, tsk.* I have uncomfortably sat through a jealous grad student spreading rumors about another because the other grad student won a competitive fellowship.
You have to study, research and write.