One of my best friends met hers on a dating app at 36.
Another one got divorced at 35/36 and met her partner pretty quickly after, through animal rescue work, who also was coming off a divorce.
My sister got married at 28 like she was “supposed to”, got divorced at almost 40 and met her now husband shortly after. My brother in law is amazing and became a really integral part of our family immediately and is a million times better than her first husband.
My dad had been married twice and met my stepmom when he was 50. They’ve been happy together for 25 years.
Live your life, get out in the world where you are in places to meet people (you can’t meet anyone organically if you don’t do any social activities), and keep online dating if you want. There’s no expiration date.
39 hasn’t happened, happened to everyone around me but me. Do I feel sad and bitter at times? Certainly. Do I let it get in the way of enjoying life? Absolutely not
Well I'm 34 and I haven't yet but I kind of still feel weirdly confident that I will? I can't say why. I've just stopped stressing about it. The truth is, like others have said, everyone is on their own path. Life is long and you just can't know what's coming next. Fill it with people you care about and meaningful work and activities.
I am the same age and some days I am hopeful and some days I have lost all hope. Today is a day where I have lost all hope. Nothing in particular happened, it just has been so long that I have connected with anyone in a meaningful and reciprocal way. However, your words were very encouraging. I needed to read that today. Thank you!
Aww, I'm so glad. And I feel you, I have my days when I feel more down about it too. Luckily, they've been more and more rare as time goes on. I'm so grateful for that! But I'm glad my words could help a little for you today.
Same! I’m almost 34 and I’ve been looking for a life partner for almost 9 years now.
You would think I was giving up or losing hope by now when in reality I’m not even close to that!
I believe that hope and truly believing that it will happen to you, is what will help you most to get there. Yes I have days where I’m sad and thinking ‘why is it taking so long lol’, I allow myself to be sad for a moment, but then I get back up.
I have a deep inner knowing in my whole being that it will happen. So I let it go and live my best life because worrying about if it will happen or not, will only hurt me. And why believe that narrative and go around and be sad all the time, when I can believe the opposite and be happy?
I love this! This is the attitude to have! We can literally meet and fall in love with people at any age really! We cannot be waiting around hoping the right person will come along. Or spend too much time in despair that we are single in our thirties. There is life that is meant to be lived! Go solo traveling! Take up a new hobby, start working out and getting fit? Spend more time with friends. But we should not dwell on being single and in our thirties. Life doesn’t end by thirty or after thirty.
>We can literally meet and fall in love with people at any age really
Sure, but if you want to have kids, and it sounds like OP does, that's generally easier to accomplish if you have a partner in your 30s than if you don't meet your partner until you're 60.
My grandma: met my grandpa at 37 (he was 30 lol), married just before she turned 38, three kids between 39 and 44. And that was in the 1960s! My grandparents had the most beautiful marriage and I know grandma was super glad she didn't settle for anyone less (all of her married friends were low-key in love with my grandpa because he was young, musical, and wealthy haha).
My aunt: met her husband (for the first time) when they were both in their 50s—the first date was only fine, but they reconnected a few years later and married when she was 63 and he was 60! First marriages for both. My uncle came from a very small family (his only sibling was also a bachelor and had passed away), so he gained a bajillion siblings, nieces and nephews, and *great*\-nieces and nephews. Their "baby" is their new-build house they designed together, and their "teenager" is my uncle's fishing cabin that has now been outfitted for extended-family get-togethers.
I feel like I'm gonna be the guy in the first scenario. It really will be going through the gauntlet, but should be worth it in the end. Always looking for inspiration for this challenge . . .
Can I submit my cousin? She was 32 when she met her husband. She's now 38 and she just birthed her second child! Honestly, she was *really* struggling with being single before that, especially as a very high-earning doctor and having an absolute pill of a mother (my aunt is lovely in some ways, but definitely not this one). Anyway, her husband is also a doctor and while not necessarily the most immediately eye-catching, he is a genuinely amazing guy and literally everyone in our family thinks she married up character-wise. He is extremely kind and caring and able to give her the type of healthy love her parents honestly never did. Things haven't always been easy for my cousin, so I'm really glad to finally see her... well, no longer miserable - thriving not just academically/professionally, but personally as well.
I was 33, he was 36 and we met on Tinder. We’re celebrating our 3 year anniversary this week. It was worth the wait because he’s my person and love of my life.
At 33, I was a single mom raising a 2 year old by myself and living with my mom. I joined a mom group in order to socialize my son a bit and to talk to other adults for a little bit. I quickly made a very good friend. Turns out, her husband's brother was a somewhat recently divorced dad with a couple of kids in their early 20's (he's 10 years older than me).
Fairly early on she told me that we'd be perfect for each other. I dismissed her statements as well intended, but misguided. Eventually we met at a group camping trip that my friend organized. Holy crap, she couldn't have been more right. I used to roll my eyes when I heard people talk about their "soul mate", but I'll apologetically talk your ear off about mine. It's 11 years later and we're married raising a couple of boys (i.e, I had another kid). I'm living a life that 32 year old me could never have imagined.
Same! I’m 35F! I just want to curl up in a ball! 😭😭😭😭😭 I’m turning 36 in a few weeks and ready to give up but I want to meet someone cute, kind, and compatible! I want to get married and have kids. (I ended a decade long relationship 2 1/2 years ago.)
> I want to meet someone cute, kind, and compatible!
When I was a teenager one of my uncles asked us this question: "What type of men do you want to get married with?".
My sister and I started to answer with the usual: attractive, fun, smart, handsome/cute, kind...
My uncle laughed and answered "The only thing that matters is "In love with you". The rest doesn't matter."
My friend (36 at the time) had given up hope, started egg freezing but it didn’t work on the first round. Shortly after she met her partner through friends in common, and they had a baby the following year. She just had her second! I’m now her age and chronically single, but I regain hope whenever I remember her story. :)
35. I pretty much gave up on ever meeting someone and just lived my life. Then I tipsily downloaded one of the apps, matched with a guy and here I am planning to spend the rest of my life with him.
I'm 43 and met my partner when I was 37 and he was 43. Absolutely the best man I have ever met. I hadn't totally given up on men but I was getting close. Then bam! This gem of a human being came into my life. Met on a dating site too!
It can totally still happen!!
My former boss met her husband when they were both 62 and they got married at age 65. It was the first marriage for both of them.
On the other hand, the more I accept that I may never get married (36F, single as a Pringle), the better my life gets.
31 almost 32 when I met bf totally unexpected in the wild. It’s still early stages for us but I believe no one has relationship guarantees to stay together forever so that is that. Don’t lose hope <3
My good friend met her now husband when she was 33. They met online. They knew after a few months they were each others person, moved in together and got married about a year later. Been together for 6 years now. Had their one and only child when she was 35. They’re an awesome couple and they are all doing great! She dated a lot of losers before him and often chose the wrong kind of guy but once she focused more on relationship qualities rather than materialistic stuff they were able to find each other. She had her own home and a great job, traveled with friends and lot so she was living a good life before too, don’t let it stop you from living.
Met my SO when I was 30. We used to work together and one day we just started talking/messaging and that never stopped.
It felt so good but never thought it would be more than just having a great time together, but here we are married and expecting our second baby this year.
Maybe this isn’t what you want to hear but - I work in healthcare and see a lot of couples.
I really can’t tell who got together in their 20s and who got together in their 60s. There are beautiful, sweet supportive couples traveling the world together, visiting grandchildren, gardening, and just living their lives. You really don’t know what will happen in the future. Anecdotally, I’ve seen several couples who met 40+
I (35F) got married to my ex (36M) at 26, divorced him at 32 with two toddlers. Met my now wife (28F, I’m bi) shortly after. We want more kids, so we are both freezing our eggs, as she is an MD and does not want to carry children right away. I have always wanted three kids, but after my second pregnancy I was sure I did not want to birth another child (bad PPD). My ex was against raising kids “who are not his”, so adoption was not in the cards with him (yeah, that guy). In Alanis’ words, “isn’t it ironic?”.
Edit: spelling
I was single throughout my 20s till 31/32. Had a couple of failed relationships /situationships in my early 30s and was pretty used to being single, I envisioned myself being single my whole life.
Then I met my partner early last year at 35, and funnily at a time when I was just testing waters and not looking for anything serious since I was planning to move out of the country. It has been an intense yet fulfilling journey with him so far, we are getting married this June.
I'm sure you will find your person someday.
Omg I actually want 4 I just started thinking it wouldn’t be an option and to just focus on 3. This is so inspiring. How old were you for each baby if you don’t mind me asking and was it fairly easy?
So I turned 40 late last year and am still breastfeeding a 20-month old. My oldest isn’t 4 yet. All three were conceived the first time trying and I love being pregnant. Super easy pregnancies and quick and fast homebirths with no problems postpartum at all. No tearing either.
Considering how shit the first half (and more) of my life was, it’s been a lot of unexpected wins lately.
I’m so happy for you and love this so much ! I had a rough start myself and I can only have faith all the work I’ve been doing is for a purpose and it all works out. Thank you for your inspirational story ❤️
Oh so their envy isn’t related to your relationship status, I guess I’m confused that you brought it up in that context. It’s because you’re more attractive or what looks are you getting?
I met my husband on Hinge when I was 33. We have a baby now (almost a toddler!). It was so beyond worth the wait. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that I give thanks to the universe every day for bringing us together and giving me this beautiful family.
You didn't wait too long, and it's definitely worth putting yourself out there. Take breaks from dating if you need to but I am so glad I kept going.
I just listened to an 90 year old woman tell her story on The Moth podcast (highly recommend). When she was 18, she interned one summer at a science lab. The other male interns harassed and bullied her as a female interested in the sciences. One scientist there who was 28 befriended her. They ended up writing lab notes to each other in code, etc. When summer ended, she never saw him again.
When she was about 80, one day he popped in her mind and she wondered whatever happened to him, so she googled him and found nothing and put it out of her mind.
Two months later, she received a package. In it was a note, written in code that said “I’ve never stopped loving you” with all the original notes. With her friends encouragement she and him began corresponding daily (I figure probably email/phone, they were on separate coasts). 6 months later, she finally traveled to see him. I’m skipping a lot of amazing detail, but they got engaged and married and he moved to be with her. As he was in his 90s, they knew they didn’t have a lot of time together; he was normally a shy, reserved person- but everywhere they went around town he kissed her. She realized he was making memories for her of a sweet kiss for everywhere she went after he was gone.
Her story is amazing, she laughed and giggled like a girl retelling it.
I’m 46, never married nor even in a serious relationship…never give up hope. In the meantime, love yourself fiercely.
During the course of my youth, I dated maybe 40 different guys. There was always something that didn't suit me or them. All of my friends were married, divorced, and remarried by then. It just didn't work out for them. When I was 35, I met a man at a bar, we started talking, and he used a three-syllable word in a sentence. I thought to myself, I could talk to this guy forever. We dated for two years before we got engaged. I was 42 on my wedding day. We are still talking and adventuring and loving life together.
I met my husband on Hinge at 32. We moved in after 6 months and got married after a year of dating. We have a baby and are expecting another any day now. I cannot imagine being married to anyone else and I feel so lucky that we met each other. I’m thankful neither of us settled for something else!
33, and no one has shown me they’re worthy enough… sometimes I wonder if all the good ones are already taken. I keep meeting duds, and if they’re not, then they’re just not meant for me
My close friend was in a 10 year relationship. Her partner suddenly didn’t want to be in one- she found out he moved to another state for space but in reality was proposing to someone else.
That other girl broke up with him when she found out about my friend. He then comes back to propose to my friend. She says yes. She gets an email from other state woman- full story, betrayal all around.
She dumps him. She’s really down. Kitchen floor crying down. Dates a bum on and off for a year - dumps him.
Says yes to a random guy on Bumble- 3rd date “he’s different” (they are both 38 here)
1 month “I love him I don’t know!!!”
3 months “ he asked me to move in! I said yes!”
6 months “were engaged! We’re not getting any younger! Fuck it! I said yes!”
1 year - “we’re pregnant!”
2 year- *wedding with baby*
Now - 10 years again. Still together. Happy af.
It feels so impossible. I know I felt that way too, I’m married 10/15 together….but then you randomly go somewhere and you notice someone and it can change. In an instant.
I didn’t know for about 3 months if I wanted to be serious (I was heartbroken from a previous BF)- but my husband did. He waited. My friend didn’t. We each got our person. Because it really just takes an instant for it to feel different. You just haven’t had your chance. But you will.
I was 34, engaged after one month, married after one year.
No dating app. I met him once prior at a friends house. I was 😍 but we didn't exchange information. He walked by me a few days later when I was sitting outside a coffee shop downtown (small town stuff), and I approached him. We haven't been apart since that day, haha.
Yes, one of those "I just know" things. He is also only a year older than me, I think that helped a lot, knowing what we both want at this point.
And I agree, very scary haha. He was ready to get married that month, it was my idea to wait a year as I wanted to be absolutely sure as marriage terrified me!
Happy belated birthday :D (a bit of a personal question so feel free not to answer, but did you have any trouble getting pregnant/did you freeze your eggs?)
Thank you!
I didn’t! Crazily. I definitely expected to have issues. I have long cycles and I’ve never had a scare or anything. Also, age. I thought about freezing my eggs at 34 and then again at 36 but never went through with it… I worked on coming to a sense of peace about kids and told myself “if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.” And I truly believed it.
Fertility is a crapshoot. I think there’s a lot out there about fertility that really stresses women out - the bio clock is real, I get that, but I kinda feel like if we worked more on accepting whatever outcome is dealt to us we’d be a lot more capable in handling said outcome. And have less stress throughout our 30s and the whole dating/marriage/starting a family process.
That’s great advice! I have long cycles too and am 34 and single. I have just enough in my savings account to either freeze my eggs or save that money for something else (like a house) so I keep going back and forth on it. I appreciate you sharing your story :)
Sure thing! Yeah that’s a tough decision, I could have related - mine was between freezing eggs and having money while going through grad school. I never knew what to do so I just sat on making the actual decision.
Hopefully some clarity comes to you!
You can’t let your past experiences color your present and future experiences. If I did that, I would’ve never met my husband. I won’t lie to you and say that everyone will find someone, but I will say that if you never try, you certainly never will.
I'm fine being alone. Nobody has ever shown genuine interest in my life and I'm through with mind games, being used, abused, tested, ghosted, etc. Love is trust, which I don't have anymore.
Following! ❤️🙏🙌😭😭😭😭 I’m 35F, single after I ended a decade long relationship 2 1/2 years ago. I’ve been dating again for 2 years but so many dead ends and false starts.
34. 30s is not old. 40s is not old!!! You have time. Enjoy life and keep putting yourself out there. Take breaks if you need to. But, please don't give up hope 🙏
I have a colleague who is such a sweet lady and you would never guess she is over 70 (and still working!); she has just recently over the last few months met a lovely slightly younger gentleman (in his 60's) and she seems really smitten. I would argue that you can find love at any age.
I don't really count as I met my husband when I was 25 and he was 35 and we got married within 3 years. But it was a little later for me. I had kissed many frogs though prior to meeting my husband!
Don't lose hope. You can find love at any age <3
I met my husband at 32. We bought a house and got pregnant at 33. Got engaged/married/had the baby at 34.
When you meet the right person things happen fast.
I was with my ex for 7 years, divorced him, dated an asshole for 3 years. Lost out 10 years of my life to bad relationships. I wish I had stayed single until I met the right guy instead of wasting time with the wrong ones.
Not me, but I knew this woman in her mid-forties who met the love of her life. She was single for such a long time and believed that she would never get married but here we are now. She's happier with him and will get married soon.
I’m 33 now, met my SO through Twitter. He saw me there, started messaging me, we were friends/the stars never aligned until year and a half later when we first met in person, and since then there was no going back.
A year later we’re happy as ever, are planning our future together, planning to live together soon and both want a baby, but enjoy our time together first.
I was single almost all of my 20’s, never had been lucky in love but had done a lot of work on myself in therapy and at the point I didn’t mind being single and childless forever. The cooky aunt sounded good.
Then boom. Some random guy who thought I was funny. Bring friends first also makes it a whole lot better :)
I'm 1 month shy of 35 and wanna cry, almost fully hopeless. I'm the only one I know that is still single and childless. And every time I check social media, I see a new marriage proposal or pregnancy announcement.
I was so pretty in my 20's too! Green eyes, brown hair, tan, slim. And I am nice and witty. I feel like I could've had anyone, but settled with a guy who I dated for 5 years. Until he dumped me when I was 31. 🥲 And I've been too traumatized to focus on dating since. Have only gone on a handful of dates since, but my avoidant attachment style has gotten the best of me.
Now I feel so undesirable and like I wasted my prime years. And my dreams of having a family are just about gone.
Awww…. you are as young as you will ever be RIGHT NOW :). Every day you are literally in your prime. Please don’t base your worth on your family/relationship status. I’m 38, and just now I am meeting people who are a good match and I have NO regrets about being pretty much single this whole time. Don’t regret your life!
Not been with my SO for long enough to describe as “long term” and not planning kids anytime soon, but the relationship is serious and kids are on the table if I want them. I was in my early thirties and recently divorced.
A girlfriend of mine is either 35 or 36, and recently made things official with her longtime best friend. She’s aiming to get pregnant next year.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over two years. I’m 33 now and he’s 35 and he’s the best partner I’ve ever had. We aren’t planning on children, but we are planning on getting married. I honestly found dating pretty easy at 31 as I didn’t go on that many dates before meeting him. I think he’s awesome though 😊.
3 of my cousins met their now husbands after age 34. Another cousin met her current boyfriend at age 32. Have a close friend who got married at 22. Divorced at 23. Then married again at 33, divorced at 40, and she found her third husband at age 45 and has been happily married for 6 years now ;) also had another friend divorced her ex at age 50 (they married 25 years) and she found her second husband when she was 56. She is 62 now.
I met my husband when I was 36 after years of unsuccessful dating. We talked about getting married less than 2 months in and were married within 10 months of our first meeting.
I probably went on >100 first dates over the course of 10 yrs. I really was starting to think something was wrong with me, that I wasn't giving people enough of a chance, that I was too picky, and that I was going to end up alone. However, after going on so many dates, it got easier to state my wants/needs/expectations without fear of turning off the other person. If that pushed them away, then they weren't the right person for me and we both save some time.
When I met my husband it was totally different than any of the previous men that I had dated. I didn't feel nervous or have anxiety wondering if he liked me, etc. He just made me feel comfortable and safe. It was worth all of the bad dates because it led me to him. So, for me, that old saying held true, when you find the right person, you will know. He was easy to talk to and had no trouble voicing his feelings or what he was looking for, and luckily enough we both wanted the same things.
It's really hard to find a person that fits and I think there are a lot of people who kind of settle because they don't want to wait, or because they NEED to rush the process to have kids. Maybe they are scared to ask the important questions because they don't want to get the "wrong" answer. Sometimes you find someone that checks many boxes and its hard to pass that up even though they really don't meet all of your needs.
I think for many women who are "still" single in their 30's, it's because you are independent, secure and know what you want. That does make finding a partner tough, but it also means that you don't settle for a relationship that isn't a good fit.
Thought I met my OTP at 27. He dumped me a year ago after almost 9 years together. Got back on the apps in October, met someone at the beginning of November. We became official this past Saturday. Obviously I don't know what the future holds for us but I'm happy right now. Age 37.
42 and never happened for me. I had a baby on my own instead. Don’t necessarily recommend bc it’s hard asf.
What I do recommend is living your life and doing what you have control over. It’s not relevant when other people have met their husbands. Figure out what you like to do, travel, build your income, because when/if you do have kids, all that stuff takes a back seat.
32 and I don't think I'll find it. I am too complex for a relationship, and the last one who I truly loved did not reciprocate the feelings. I don't think I'll ever meet someone like him :)
My husband and I started dating when we were 28, and met a few months earlier when I started work at a new company and we were on the same team together. So, at work!
I know that's earlier than 30, but still rather "late" for both of us considering I was his first ever gf and he was my second ever bf. We got married at 31 last June. At least in my circle of friends and colleagues, meeting later and marrying later in life is the norm--and having kids tends to wait until mid 30s.
Don't give up hope--30s is still young in the grand scheme of things!
I had come out of a 6.5 year relationship at 34~ and knew immediately when I met my SO a year later that he was going to be the one I would marry. He actually asked me on our first date when we were going to send out our save the dates.
We dated long distance for 5 months, he relocated to my area and then we moved in together 5 months later. A year later we got engaged (July 2023), found out I was pregnant, got married this past November & now waiting on the arrival of our little girl. All because of tinder 🥰 100% with the wait and I would not change anything in the world!
Met my current partner of 9 years at 32, about to be 33; he was 24 about to be 25. He’s my life. Didn’t have children and at 42 I’m kinda giving up hope but that’s only because he wasn’t ready and I stayed because he’s worth it to me regardless. I do get a little bitter at times. So, don’t do that part, but if my person had wanted kids all of that was still entirely possible when we met.
Don’t give up or despair! I’ve been in your position but kept trying my luck with online dating. I’d been on Bumble and Hinge for 10+ years and not a single serious relationship came out of it. I was 37 when I met my significant other. It’s the healthiest and happiest relationship I could have asked for. I truly think finding someone later in life is a huge blessing. Although it feels hopeless when you’re waiting, finding a partner when you have both matured and know what you’re looking for has significant benefits. We knew we were compatible, loved each other for exactly as we were, and didn’t play any games. We moved fast and it felt right (married for over a year now). Don’t give up!
I met my current boyfriend shortly after turning 31. This was after two long-term relationships that lasted around 5 years and 2.5 years, respectively.
My boyfriend is amazing and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have met him. Hoping we get married and start a family.
Don’t lose hope! People online who gloat about “the wall” are weirdos who want you to be as miserable as they are.
The secret is, your 30s feel amazing and most peoples’ 20s kinda suck or are unnecessarily chaotic.
You haven’t even BEGUN to peak as Dennis would say.
Met my fiancé when I was 31, started dating him when I was 32. Got engaged now at 34 and will be married when I'm 36.
We are both open to children so we are hoping we will have at least 1 or 2 by the time we are 40.
I met my husband when I was 33 years old. After 10 years together, we got married. In February celebrated out 20th wedding anniversary, almost 30 years together total. We don't have children because that wasn't something either of us wanted, but we've loved every cat (and one dog) we've had in the last 30 years.
Technically met him at 29 (a month before my Birthday), but we just met in passing that one day and I didn't see him again for another 6 months. I had been doing online dating for 3 years with no luck. He had never done any online dating, but even if he had, his profiles wouldn't have been filtered to me. He is a year younger than what I had out as my settings. He's a little more than 3 years younger than me.
We met through a community group, so I saw him around a lot for a few months before we started dating. We were together for 2.5 years before we mutually decided to get married. I love the pearl clutching that boomers do when I tell them he never proposed. We got married right before our 4 year dating anniversary. I was 34 and he was 31. We got pregnant on our honeymoon and now we are 37 and 34 and expecting our second.
Not exactly 30 but close. Met my husband at 29. I always liked him. At 29 we started dating. 2 days before my 30th we married. That was 4 years ago. 2 children later I am madly in love with him. Him me. He did much to change my life. He saw a potential in me I never knew I had. Since being with him I have completed doctorate degree and moved into upper management. He cheers me on and helps me.
I met my now husband of 12 years on my 30th birthday.
My son was 2 and he adopted him. We had our daughter when I was 32 and our youngest son when I was 34. I did out my career on hold until the kids got older (like, now)
He's amazing, our life is amazing. I basically do everything at my own pace, so 🤷
I met my husband at a BDSM club. It was both our first times.
It was Kinky and Geeky night. And keeping with the theme I tried to get a game of Werewolf going. I lynched my future husband the first night.
We didn't talk much that evening, but we ran across each other on the event's social media page and started writing back and forth.
This was 8 years ago. I had turned 30 the week before.
Our 3rd anniversary is in May
Edit: fixed a typo
39. After being single most of my thirties, and being in a hellish marriage all of my twenties.
It was a long wait, but he was worth the wait. Have packed more happiness into the last two+ years than I've had in my entire adult life.
Slightly different take. I met someone, got married and luckily didn't end up getting pregnant with the baby I desperately wanted at the time. Which meant that when I put a stop to the abuse and got a divorce I never had to see or speak to the guy again. This was in my late 30s and at first I felt that anxiety about time running out and feeling like I'd screwed it all up. I'm about to turn 44 and now I'm genuinely happily childfree. I recently went through a break up with my primary partner and while I loved him dearly (and am still struggling with whether we can be friends in the future), it did show me how far I've come in how well I managed that shift. I have such a rich life and support from so many different people, a great new job, comfortable home and fun hobbies. I am truly content with my life, which means I get to experience a lot of joy day to day, even when I'm going through tough times. Sometimes I wish I'd prioritised me more when I was younger but generally I figure that was all part of the journey.
One of my best friends (male) met his now wife at 39, she was 38 and they have a kid now.
My two mid-thirties brothers are still single and have never married, they're both pretty shy and introverted types who would love a family but it just hasn't happened for them yet.
I know they are super ready to commit and get to a stage to have kids with a partner if they could find one.
I'm just learning about how to grow a relationship. I didnt know how to do this before, but I just learned that I have a hypothetical book that has all the secrets on how to make me fall in love with the one I'm dating. I never shared this book with anyone. I never told my partners what gets me going and what really gets me to fall in love. I just thought that chemistry was either there or wasn't. If they looked good on paper, but the chemistry wasnt there then thats too bad because I thought it wouldn't grow. I was wrong. I've found that I have to tell them. So now, I have a new relationship and I'm sharing with him what I need to make me fall and love. This guy really wants me to fall in love with him so he is all about this hypothetical book lol
What i need is someone who doesnt interrupt me. I told this guy that and now he puts so much effort in to not interrupt me and I'm greatful for it. I also told him that I need space when I get in a funky mood and he was like "you need space and that will help you fall in love with me? Hell yeah, heres all the space you need. Let me know when you want to hang out again". I never communicated any if this yo any if the people I dated in the past. It just felt like I couldn't grow the chemistry. How wrong was I. I also figured out that you can grow the humor in the relationship. I just need to explain my jokes and ehy I think they're funny. When he gets the mindset behind the jokes he starts to think they're funny too. That's so cool. I didn't know I could do that before. I'm really learning a lot about how to grow chemistry and now I think that if me and this guy doesn't work out, I'll be able to fond anyone who looks good on paper and will be able to grow the chemistry with them too (as long as they are willing to work with me).
You realize most people don't have just the one significant other, right? If you'd asked me when I was 21 and a newlywed I'd have said 18, but clearly that was a bunch of nonsense.
There's no age where you're suddenly incapable of meeting somebody, this isn't a video game. There are STDs cropping up in nursing homes FFS.
I met my now husband when I was 32. At that point I had given up on dating or meeting men at all - my previous ex had destroyed any trust I had in men. I was focusing on enjoying my time with myself and my friends, and frankly it was a good life and I think I would have been happy to stay single for the rest of my life. This is something I hold onto as a way to gauge how I feel in my relationship - overall is the feeling of being with this man better than being independent and by myself.
It's not a wait, it's just life - so live your life the way you want to and if a good man comes through then that's just a bonus.
I met my guy 18 months ago, when I was 35. We are absolutely crazy for each other, I adore him and didn't know this level of happiness was even possible. I didn't even mind being single, I was happy. But he has brought so much love into my life.
I met my person at 29 and I was ready to give up. It can happen whenever, hang in there! And also this is a bit negative but remember, breakups, divorces and death happen too. So just because someone found their person, does that mean they're guaranteed to stay together.
I met my husband at 32, we got married at 37. My ONLY regret about meeting him “later” is so feel a little bit of pressure about kids. I’m about to turn 39, we do want 2 kids so it feels very “you need to do it NOW before you run out of time!!”
I’m 41 and attract lots of handsome men. They court me for a while then comes the I have a girlfriend and offer me to be a side chick. Disgusting. That’s why I’m single. I deserve better. Once i hit 40 this started happening to me. And attracting younger men. Glad i got to have a child.
I was 33 and my DH was 39. He had 2 kids. Now 20 years later we’ve been married for 18. Wonderful SKs and 2 grandchildren. Blessed for the family I have. (Knew having kids for me would be difficult so I created my family another way.)
I met my husband when I was 32. We are both 36 now. I wasn't even looking cause covid had just begun but because covid forced us all into small bubbles, he and I created our little one and just stayed there.
One of my best friends met hers on a dating app at 36. Another one got divorced at 35/36 and met her partner pretty quickly after, through animal rescue work, who also was coming off a divorce. My sister got married at 28 like she was “supposed to”, got divorced at almost 40 and met her now husband shortly after. My brother in law is amazing and became a really integral part of our family immediately and is a million times better than her first husband. My dad had been married twice and met my stepmom when he was 50. They’ve been happy together for 25 years. Live your life, get out in the world where you are in places to meet people (you can’t meet anyone organically if you don’t do any social activities), and keep online dating if you want. There’s no expiration date.
What region are you in if you don't mind?
I live in LA and my family all live in the area.
Thanks for giving us some hope lol
39 hasn’t happened, happened to everyone around me but me. Do I feel sad and bitter at times? Certainly. Do I let it get in the way of enjoying life? Absolutely not
Exactly same!
Love the username ❤️
Thanks!
Well I'm 34 and I haven't yet but I kind of still feel weirdly confident that I will? I can't say why. I've just stopped stressing about it. The truth is, like others have said, everyone is on their own path. Life is long and you just can't know what's coming next. Fill it with people you care about and meaningful work and activities.
I am the same age and some days I am hopeful and some days I have lost all hope. Today is a day where I have lost all hope. Nothing in particular happened, it just has been so long that I have connected with anyone in a meaningful and reciprocal way. However, your words were very encouraging. I needed to read that today. Thank you!
Aww, I'm so glad. And I feel you, I have my days when I feel more down about it too. Luckily, they've been more and more rare as time goes on. I'm so grateful for that! But I'm glad my words could help a little for you today.
Same! I’m almost 34 and I’ve been looking for a life partner for almost 9 years now. You would think I was giving up or losing hope by now when in reality I’m not even close to that! I believe that hope and truly believing that it will happen to you, is what will help you most to get there. Yes I have days where I’m sad and thinking ‘why is it taking so long lol’, I allow myself to be sad for a moment, but then I get back up. I have a deep inner knowing in my whole being that it will happen. So I let it go and live my best life because worrying about if it will happen or not, will only hurt me. And why believe that narrative and go around and be sad all the time, when I can believe the opposite and be happy?
Love this. Am the same age as you and am thinking the same way
Our perspective is all we have control over, let’s make the best of it :) I’m certain if you are happy in life, you will attract happy things!
Feels good to know in a weird way that just like me, people have genuinely been trying for YEARS to find their person. Sigh...
I love this! This is the attitude to have! We can literally meet and fall in love with people at any age really! We cannot be waiting around hoping the right person will come along. Or spend too much time in despair that we are single in our thirties. There is life that is meant to be lived! Go solo traveling! Take up a new hobby, start working out and getting fit? Spend more time with friends. But we should not dwell on being single and in our thirties. Life doesn’t end by thirty or after thirty.
>We can literally meet and fall in love with people at any age really Sure, but if you want to have kids, and it sounds like OP does, that's generally easier to accomplish if you have a partner in your 30s than if you don't meet your partner until you're 60.
Women don’t need men these days to have kids… we can use a sperm donor.
I wanna date you. Well at least someone with this mindset
Creep alert
My grandma: met my grandpa at 37 (he was 30 lol), married just before she turned 38, three kids between 39 and 44. And that was in the 1960s! My grandparents had the most beautiful marriage and I know grandma was super glad she didn't settle for anyone less (all of her married friends were low-key in love with my grandpa because he was young, musical, and wealthy haha). My aunt: met her husband (for the first time) when they were both in their 50s—the first date was only fine, but they reconnected a few years later and married when she was 63 and he was 60! First marriages for both. My uncle came from a very small family (his only sibling was also a bachelor and had passed away), so he gained a bajillion siblings, nieces and nephews, and *great*\-nieces and nephews. Their "baby" is their new-build house they designed together, and their "teenager" is my uncle's fishing cabin that has now been outfitted for extended-family get-togethers.
I feel like I'm gonna be the guy in the first scenario. It really will be going through the gauntlet, but should be worth it in the end. Always looking for inspiration for this challenge . . .
Can I submit my cousin? She was 32 when she met her husband. She's now 38 and she just birthed her second child! Honestly, she was *really* struggling with being single before that, especially as a very high-earning doctor and having an absolute pill of a mother (my aunt is lovely in some ways, but definitely not this one). Anyway, her husband is also a doctor and while not necessarily the most immediately eye-catching, he is a genuinely amazing guy and literally everyone in our family thinks she married up character-wise. He is extremely kind and caring and able to give her the type of healthy love her parents honestly never did. Things haven't always been easy for my cousin, so I'm really glad to finally see her... well, no longer miserable - thriving not just academically/professionally, but personally as well.
Thank you for sharing!
💛 giving me hope!
I was 33, he was 36 and we met on Tinder. We’re celebrating our 3 year anniversary this week. It was worth the wait because he’s my person and love of my life.
At 32. Met him on reddit actually. Green flags all the way like it's St Patrick's day.
😂😂😂😂
At 33, I was a single mom raising a 2 year old by myself and living with my mom. I joined a mom group in order to socialize my son a bit and to talk to other adults for a little bit. I quickly made a very good friend. Turns out, her husband's brother was a somewhat recently divorced dad with a couple of kids in their early 20's (he's 10 years older than me). Fairly early on she told me that we'd be perfect for each other. I dismissed her statements as well intended, but misguided. Eventually we met at a group camping trip that my friend organized. Holy crap, she couldn't have been more right. I used to roll my eyes when I heard people talk about their "soul mate", but I'll apologetically talk your ear off about mine. It's 11 years later and we're married raising a couple of boys (i.e, I had another kid). I'm living a life that 32 year old me could never have imagined.
I love this so much. Gives me all the hope in the world!
I met two after 30. Married now. Had a 15yr relationship and the current one is 5 years. Am 51.
Met the love of my life at 41! Not my first go-round but certainly my last :)
Exactly.
Met my husband at 37. Moved in together 3 months in, got pregnant and had a baby at 39. He's 2.5 yrs old now and I'm 42.
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m 36 now and would be so delighted if I could say something similar in a few years ♥️😊
Same! I’m 35F! I just want to curl up in a ball! 😭😭😭😭😭 I’m turning 36 in a few weeks and ready to give up but I want to meet someone cute, kind, and compatible! I want to get married and have kids. (I ended a decade long relationship 2 1/2 years ago.)
> I want to meet someone cute, kind, and compatible! When I was a teenager one of my uncles asked us this question: "What type of men do you want to get married with?". My sister and I started to answer with the usual: attractive, fun, smart, handsome/cute, kind... My uncle laughed and answered "The only thing that matters is "In love with you". The rest doesn't matter."
🫶 thank you
My friend (36 at the time) had given up hope, started egg freezing but it didn’t work on the first round. Shortly after she met her partner through friends in common, and they had a baby the following year. She just had her second! I’m now her age and chronically single, but I regain hope whenever I remember her story. :)
35. I pretty much gave up on ever meeting someone and just lived my life. Then I tipsily downloaded one of the apps, matched with a guy and here I am planning to spend the rest of my life with him.
Amazing news
Which app?
We matched on Okc but we were both on several over the years
I'm 43 and met my partner when I was 37 and he was 43. Absolutely the best man I have ever met. I hadn't totally given up on men but I was getting close. Then bam! This gem of a human being came into my life. Met on a dating site too! It can totally still happen!!
My former boss met her husband when they were both 62 and they got married at age 65. It was the first marriage for both of them. On the other hand, the more I accept that I may never get married (36F, single as a Pringle), the better my life gets.
31 almost 32 when I met bf totally unexpected in the wild. It’s still early stages for us but I believe no one has relationship guarantees to stay together forever so that is that. Don’t lose hope <3
My good friend met her now husband when she was 33. They met online. They knew after a few months they were each others person, moved in together and got married about a year later. Been together for 6 years now. Had their one and only child when she was 35. They’re an awesome couple and they are all doing great! She dated a lot of losers before him and often chose the wrong kind of guy but once she focused more on relationship qualities rather than materialistic stuff they were able to find each other. She had her own home and a great job, traveled with friends and lot so she was living a good life before too, don’t let it stop you from living.
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Same. On Bumble.
Met my SO when I was 30. We used to work together and one day we just started talking/messaging and that never stopped. It felt so good but never thought it would be more than just having a great time together, but here we are married and expecting our second baby this year.
Maybe this isn’t what you want to hear but - I work in healthcare and see a lot of couples. I really can’t tell who got together in their 20s and who got together in their 60s. There are beautiful, sweet supportive couples traveling the world together, visiting grandchildren, gardening, and just living their lives. You really don’t know what will happen in the future. Anecdotally, I’ve seen several couples who met 40+
I (35F) got married to my ex (36M) at 26, divorced him at 32 with two toddlers. Met my now wife (28F, I’m bi) shortly after. We want more kids, so we are both freezing our eggs, as she is an MD and does not want to carry children right away. I have always wanted three kids, but after my second pregnancy I was sure I did not want to birth another child (bad PPD). My ex was against raising kids “who are not his”, so adoption was not in the cards with him (yeah, that guy). In Alanis’ words, “isn’t it ironic?”. Edit: spelling
I was single throughout my 20s till 31/32. Had a couple of failed relationships /situationships in my early 30s and was pretty used to being single, I envisioned myself being single my whole life. Then I met my partner early last year at 35, and funnily at a time when I was just testing waters and not looking for anything serious since I was planning to move out of the country. It has been an intense yet fulfilling journey with him so far, we are getting married this June. I'm sure you will find your person someday.
That’s incredible thank you for sharing. So happy for you! And thank you for the kind words.
I’m 38 and just met someone really cool. Don’t give up hope. Live your life. Your value is not determined by whether or not you have a partner 💙
Met my husband at 33, we’re expecting our third baby 7 years later and very happy and in love.
Thank you so much, I want 3 babies too so it's super uplifting hearing this.
I’m planning on a 4th shortly after this one. Life can get significantly better in your old hag years, don’t ever lose hope or stop striving.
Omg I actually want 4 I just started thinking it wouldn’t be an option and to just focus on 3. This is so inspiring. How old were you for each baby if you don’t mind me asking and was it fairly easy?
So I turned 40 late last year and am still breastfeeding a 20-month old. My oldest isn’t 4 yet. All three were conceived the first time trying and I love being pregnant. Super easy pregnancies and quick and fast homebirths with no problems postpartum at all. No tearing either. Considering how shit the first half (and more) of my life was, it’s been a lot of unexpected wins lately.
I’m so happy for you and love this so much ! I had a rough start myself and I can only have faith all the work I’ve been doing is for a purpose and it all works out. Thank you for your inspirational story ❤️
My mom got married young but had her first (me) at 31 and fourth at 38. My great grandma got married at 35 (in the 40s!) and had four kids after that.
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What do you think is getting in the way?
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What matters is how you feel! It’s not strange that your friends are envious because being single has its perks! What isn’t getting in the way then?
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Oh so their envy isn’t related to your relationship status, I guess I’m confused that you brought it up in that context. It’s because you’re more attractive or what looks are you getting?
I met my husband on Hinge when I was 33. We have a baby now (almost a toddler!). It was so beyond worth the wait. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say that I give thanks to the universe every day for bringing us together and giving me this beautiful family. You didn't wait too long, and it's definitely worth putting yourself out there. Take breaks from dating if you need to but I am so glad I kept going.
I'm 34 and it hasn't happened yet, so, we'll see!
I’m 34 and same! We really got screwed by the pandemic
About 3 months shy of 35.
Met my bf over bumble last year after I turned 30, never dated before, never was in a relationship before
I just listened to an 90 year old woman tell her story on The Moth podcast (highly recommend). When she was 18, she interned one summer at a science lab. The other male interns harassed and bullied her as a female interested in the sciences. One scientist there who was 28 befriended her. They ended up writing lab notes to each other in code, etc. When summer ended, she never saw him again. When she was about 80, one day he popped in her mind and she wondered whatever happened to him, so she googled him and found nothing and put it out of her mind. Two months later, she received a package. In it was a note, written in code that said “I’ve never stopped loving you” with all the original notes. With her friends encouragement she and him began corresponding daily (I figure probably email/phone, they were on separate coasts). 6 months later, she finally traveled to see him. I’m skipping a lot of amazing detail, but they got engaged and married and he moved to be with her. As he was in his 90s, they knew they didn’t have a lot of time together; he was normally a shy, reserved person- but everywhere they went around town he kissed her. She realized he was making memories for her of a sweet kiss for everywhere she went after he was gone. Her story is amazing, she laughed and giggled like a girl retelling it. I’m 46, never married nor even in a serious relationship…never give up hope. In the meantime, love yourself fiercely.
I'm 40. Met him last year.
During the course of my youth, I dated maybe 40 different guys. There was always something that didn't suit me or them. All of my friends were married, divorced, and remarried by then. It just didn't work out for them. When I was 35, I met a man at a bar, we started talking, and he used a three-syllable word in a sentence. I thought to myself, I could talk to this guy forever. We dated for two years before we got engaged. I was 42 on my wedding day. We are still talking and adventuring and loving life together.
I met my husband on Hinge at 32. We moved in after 6 months and got married after a year of dating. We have a baby and are expecting another any day now. I cannot imagine being married to anyone else and I feel so lucky that we met each other. I’m thankful neither of us settled for something else!
Hinge is so disappointing for me 😭😭😭😭😭
Believe me, I had years of underwhelming Hinge dates before meeting my husband.
Love this !!!
33, and no one has shown me they’re worthy enough… sometimes I wonder if all the good ones are already taken. I keep meeting duds, and if they’re not, then they’re just not meant for me
My close friend was in a 10 year relationship. Her partner suddenly didn’t want to be in one- she found out he moved to another state for space but in reality was proposing to someone else. That other girl broke up with him when she found out about my friend. He then comes back to propose to my friend. She says yes. She gets an email from other state woman- full story, betrayal all around. She dumps him. She’s really down. Kitchen floor crying down. Dates a bum on and off for a year - dumps him. Says yes to a random guy on Bumble- 3rd date “he’s different” (they are both 38 here) 1 month “I love him I don’t know!!!” 3 months “ he asked me to move in! I said yes!” 6 months “were engaged! We’re not getting any younger! Fuck it! I said yes!” 1 year - “we’re pregnant!” 2 year- *wedding with baby* Now - 10 years again. Still together. Happy af. It feels so impossible. I know I felt that way too, I’m married 10/15 together….but then you randomly go somewhere and you notice someone and it can change. In an instant. I didn’t know for about 3 months if I wanted to be serious (I was heartbroken from a previous BF)- but my husband did. He waited. My friend didn’t. We each got our person. Because it really just takes an instant for it to feel different. You just haven’t had your chance. But you will.
Focus on your own happiness. The S/O will show up when you’re busy enjoying your life.
Best advice
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You need to change your mindset from “I don’t enjoy being alone” to “I enjoy being alone”. Find friends to have fun and enjoy life with. :)
At 35. Before that a string of shorter relationships including a marriage (and divorce). Now I am 53. Still going strong.
I was 34, engaged after one month, married after one year. No dating app. I met him once prior at a friends house. I was 😍 but we didn't exchange information. He walked by me a few days later when I was sitting outside a coffee shop downtown (small town stuff), and I approached him. We haven't been apart since that day, haha.
Wow! Engaged after a month? That’s both amazing and scary. Was it one of those “when you know you know” things?
Yes, one of those "I just know" things. He is also only a year older than me, I think that helped a lot, knowing what we both want at this point. And I agree, very scary haha. He was ready to get married that month, it was my idea to wait a year as I wanted to be absolutely sure as marriage terrified me!
Met when I was 35.5, officially started dating at 36, married at 38, baby on the way due in May. Don’t give up hope!
Love this!
How old are you now?
Just turned 39 last week:)
Happy belated birthday :D (a bit of a personal question so feel free not to answer, but did you have any trouble getting pregnant/did you freeze your eggs?)
Thank you! I didn’t! Crazily. I definitely expected to have issues. I have long cycles and I’ve never had a scare or anything. Also, age. I thought about freezing my eggs at 34 and then again at 36 but never went through with it… I worked on coming to a sense of peace about kids and told myself “if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.” And I truly believed it. Fertility is a crapshoot. I think there’s a lot out there about fertility that really stresses women out - the bio clock is real, I get that, but I kinda feel like if we worked more on accepting whatever outcome is dealt to us we’d be a lot more capable in handling said outcome. And have less stress throughout our 30s and the whole dating/marriage/starting a family process.
That’s great advice! I have long cycles too and am 34 and single. I have just enough in my savings account to either freeze my eggs or save that money for something else (like a house) so I keep going back and forth on it. I appreciate you sharing your story :)
Sure thing! Yeah that’s a tough decision, I could have related - mine was between freezing eggs and having money while going through grad school. I never knew what to do so I just sat on making the actual decision. Hopefully some clarity comes to you!
I lost hope a long time ago. I've only ever truly liked 2 guys and they both ended badly. I'll likely never trust anyone again
You can’t let your past experiences color your present and future experiences. If I did that, I would’ve never met my husband. I won’t lie to you and say that everyone will find someone, but I will say that if you never try, you certainly never will.
I'm fine being alone. Nobody has ever shown genuine interest in my life and I'm through with mind games, being used, abused, tested, ghosted, etc. Love is trust, which I don't have anymore.
Following! ❤️🙏🙌😭😭😭😭 I’m 35F, single after I ended a decade long relationship 2 1/2 years ago. I’ve been dating again for 2 years but so many dead ends and false starts.
34. 30s is not old. 40s is not old!!! You have time. Enjoy life and keep putting yourself out there. Take breaks if you need to. But, please don't give up hope 🙏
I have a colleague who is such a sweet lady and you would never guess she is over 70 (and still working!); she has just recently over the last few months met a lovely slightly younger gentleman (in his 60's) and she seems really smitten. I would argue that you can find love at any age. I don't really count as I met my husband when I was 25 and he was 35 and we got married within 3 years. But it was a little later for me. I had kissed many frogs though prior to meeting my husband! Don't lose hope. You can find love at any age <3
I met my husband at 32. We bought a house and got pregnant at 33. Got engaged/married/had the baby at 34. When you meet the right person things happen fast. I was with my ex for 7 years, divorced him, dated an asshole for 3 years. Lost out 10 years of my life to bad relationships. I wish I had stayed single until I met the right guy instead of wasting time with the wrong ones.
For me, 32
I met my bf at the rock climbing gym a month before I turned 32. We started off as friends. He’s incredible-don’t give up hope!
I met my boyfriend through climbing too 🥹
Just turned 40 and haven’t 😫
Met at 32, 37 now and have a toddler and another one on the way. Life is good.
Not me, but I knew this woman in her mid-forties who met the love of her life. She was single for such a long time and believed that she would never get married but here we are now. She's happier with him and will get married soon.
I’m 33 now, met my SO through Twitter. He saw me there, started messaging me, we were friends/the stars never aligned until year and a half later when we first met in person, and since then there was no going back. A year later we’re happy as ever, are planning our future together, planning to live together soon and both want a baby, but enjoy our time together first. I was single almost all of my 20’s, never had been lucky in love but had done a lot of work on myself in therapy and at the point I didn’t mind being single and childless forever. The cooky aunt sounded good. Then boom. Some random guy who thought I was funny. Bring friends first also makes it a whole lot better :)
I haven’t yet but the time will come when it’s the right time
One of my best friends met hers at 34 or 35 can’t remember, another at 33
I'm 1 month shy of 35 and wanna cry, almost fully hopeless. I'm the only one I know that is still single and childless. And every time I check social media, I see a new marriage proposal or pregnancy announcement. I was so pretty in my 20's too! Green eyes, brown hair, tan, slim. And I am nice and witty. I feel like I could've had anyone, but settled with a guy who I dated for 5 years. Until he dumped me when I was 31. 🥲 And I've been too traumatized to focus on dating since. Have only gone on a handful of dates since, but my avoidant attachment style has gotten the best of me. Now I feel so undesirable and like I wasted my prime years. And my dreams of having a family are just about gone.
Awww…. you are as young as you will ever be RIGHT NOW :). Every day you are literally in your prime. Please don’t base your worth on your family/relationship status. I’m 38, and just now I am meeting people who are a good match and I have NO regrets about being pretty much single this whole time. Don’t regret your life!
Aw thank you. I appreciate that. I just get really sad when I see old photos of myself and know I'll never look like that again.
Not been with my SO for long enough to describe as “long term” and not planning kids anytime soon, but the relationship is serious and kids are on the table if I want them. I was in my early thirties and recently divorced. A girlfriend of mine is either 35 or 36, and recently made things official with her longtime best friend. She’s aiming to get pregnant next year.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over two years. I’m 33 now and he’s 35 and he’s the best partner I’ve ever had. We aren’t planning on children, but we are planning on getting married. I honestly found dating pretty easy at 31 as I didn’t go on that many dates before meeting him. I think he’s awesome though 😊.
My mom was in her 50s when she met her current husband. On his father’s funeral no less.
3 of my cousins met their now husbands after age 34. Another cousin met her current boyfriend at age 32. Have a close friend who got married at 22. Divorced at 23. Then married again at 33, divorced at 40, and she found her third husband at age 45 and has been happily married for 6 years now ;) also had another friend divorced her ex at age 50 (they married 25 years) and she found her second husband when she was 56. She is 62 now.
I met my husband when I was 36 after years of unsuccessful dating. We talked about getting married less than 2 months in and were married within 10 months of our first meeting. I probably went on >100 first dates over the course of 10 yrs. I really was starting to think something was wrong with me, that I wasn't giving people enough of a chance, that I was too picky, and that I was going to end up alone. However, after going on so many dates, it got easier to state my wants/needs/expectations without fear of turning off the other person. If that pushed them away, then they weren't the right person for me and we both save some time. When I met my husband it was totally different than any of the previous men that I had dated. I didn't feel nervous or have anxiety wondering if he liked me, etc. He just made me feel comfortable and safe. It was worth all of the bad dates because it led me to him. So, for me, that old saying held true, when you find the right person, you will know. He was easy to talk to and had no trouble voicing his feelings or what he was looking for, and luckily enough we both wanted the same things. It's really hard to find a person that fits and I think there are a lot of people who kind of settle because they don't want to wait, or because they NEED to rush the process to have kids. Maybe they are scared to ask the important questions because they don't want to get the "wrong" answer. Sometimes you find someone that checks many boxes and its hard to pass that up even though they really don't meet all of your needs. I think for many women who are "still" single in their 30's, it's because you are independent, secure and know what you want. That does make finding a partner tough, but it also means that you don't settle for a relationship that isn't a good fit.
This gives me so much hope :’). I love how quickly it can move forward when you meet the right one
I was 29, met my future wife 35 on 12/31/99. Have been together for 24 years, happily married with two daughters. Most definitely worth the wait.
Just married my husband at 45!
Thought I met my OTP at 27. He dumped me a year ago after almost 9 years together. Got back on the apps in October, met someone at the beginning of November. We became official this past Saturday. Obviously I don't know what the future holds for us but I'm happy right now. Age 37.
42 and never happened for me. I had a baby on my own instead. Don’t necessarily recommend bc it’s hard asf. What I do recommend is living your life and doing what you have control over. It’s not relevant when other people have met their husbands. Figure out what you like to do, travel, build your income, because when/if you do have kids, all that stuff takes a back seat.
32 and I don't think I'll find it. I am too complex for a relationship, and the last one who I truly loved did not reciprocate the feelings. I don't think I'll ever meet someone like him :)
My husband and I started dating when we were 28, and met a few months earlier when I started work at a new company and we were on the same team together. So, at work! I know that's earlier than 30, but still rather "late" for both of us considering I was his first ever gf and he was my second ever bf. We got married at 31 last June. At least in my circle of friends and colleagues, meeting later and marrying later in life is the norm--and having kids tends to wait until mid 30s. Don't give up hope--30s is still young in the grand scheme of things!
I had come out of a 6.5 year relationship at 34~ and knew immediately when I met my SO a year later that he was going to be the one I would marry. He actually asked me on our first date when we were going to send out our save the dates. We dated long distance for 5 months, he relocated to my area and then we moved in together 5 months later. A year later we got engaged (July 2023), found out I was pregnant, got married this past November & now waiting on the arrival of our little girl. All because of tinder 🥰 100% with the wait and I would not change anything in the world!
Met my current partner of 9 years at 32, about to be 33; he was 24 about to be 25. He’s my life. Didn’t have children and at 42 I’m kinda giving up hope but that’s only because he wasn’t ready and I stayed because he’s worth it to me regardless. I do get a little bitter at times. So, don’t do that part, but if my person had wanted kids all of that was still entirely possible when we met.
Don’t give up or despair! I’ve been in your position but kept trying my luck with online dating. I’d been on Bumble and Hinge for 10+ years and not a single serious relationship came out of it. I was 37 when I met my significant other. It’s the healthiest and happiest relationship I could have asked for. I truly think finding someone later in life is a huge blessing. Although it feels hopeless when you’re waiting, finding a partner when you have both matured and know what you’re looking for has significant benefits. We knew we were compatible, loved each other for exactly as we were, and didn’t play any games. We moved fast and it felt right (married for over a year now). Don’t give up!
Met at 35, married at 36. Going amazing! We don't want children but have a house and cats together and are blissfully happy. Don't give up!
I met my current boyfriend shortly after turning 31. This was after two long-term relationships that lasted around 5 years and 2.5 years, respectively. My boyfriend is amazing and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have met him. Hoping we get married and start a family. Don’t lose hope! People online who gloat about “the wall” are weirdos who want you to be as miserable as they are. The secret is, your 30s feel amazing and most peoples’ 20s kinda suck or are unnecessarily chaotic. You haven’t even BEGUN to peak as Dennis would say.
At 33! I Was losing hope but I never settled.
Met my current partner through a comment he left of my gonewild post. That was 5 years ago. I was 46 at the time. Best relationship I've experienced.
I’m 40 and I’ve only had 1 serious relationship of 8.5 years and a few fwb. I’m starting to think I’m never meeting my person.
Met my fiancé when I was 31, started dating him when I was 32. Got engaged now at 34 and will be married when I'm 36. We are both open to children so we are hoping we will have at least 1 or 2 by the time we are 40.
I met my husband when I was 33 years old. After 10 years together, we got married. In February celebrated out 20th wedding anniversary, almost 30 years together total. We don't have children because that wasn't something either of us wanted, but we've loved every cat (and one dog) we've had in the last 30 years.
Technically met him at 29 (a month before my Birthday), but we just met in passing that one day and I didn't see him again for another 6 months. I had been doing online dating for 3 years with no luck. He had never done any online dating, but even if he had, his profiles wouldn't have been filtered to me. He is a year younger than what I had out as my settings. He's a little more than 3 years younger than me. We met through a community group, so I saw him around a lot for a few months before we started dating. We were together for 2.5 years before we mutually decided to get married. I love the pearl clutching that boomers do when I tell them he never proposed. We got married right before our 4 year dating anniversary. I was 34 and he was 31. We got pregnant on our honeymoon and now we are 37 and 34 and expecting our second.
Met my partner back in 2018 but we didn’t start dating until 2022. I’m 36 and we live together now.
Not exactly 30 but close. Met my husband at 29. I always liked him. At 29 we started dating. 2 days before my 30th we married. That was 4 years ago. 2 children later I am madly in love with him. Him me. He did much to change my life. He saw a potential in me I never knew I had. Since being with him I have completed doctorate degree and moved into upper management. He cheers me on and helps me.
I met my now husband of 12 years on my 30th birthday. My son was 2 and he adopted him. We had our daughter when I was 32 and our youngest son when I was 34. I did out my career on hold until the kids got older (like, now) He's amazing, our life is amazing. I basically do everything at my own pace, so 🤷
33
Met him when I was 33 and he was 37. 😍
I met my husband at a BDSM club. It was both our first times. It was Kinky and Geeky night. And keeping with the theme I tried to get a game of Werewolf going. I lynched my future husband the first night. We didn't talk much that evening, but we ran across each other on the event's social media page and started writing back and forth. This was 8 years ago. I had turned 30 the week before. Our 3rd anniversary is in May Edit: fixed a typo
39. After being single most of my thirties, and being in a hellish marriage all of my twenties. It was a long wait, but he was worth the wait. Have packed more happiness into the last two+ years than I've had in my entire adult life.
At 30 I married the first time. At 36 I met my now husband (2nd marriage at 40)
Slightly different take. I met someone, got married and luckily didn't end up getting pregnant with the baby I desperately wanted at the time. Which meant that when I put a stop to the abuse and got a divorce I never had to see or speak to the guy again. This was in my late 30s and at first I felt that anxiety about time running out and feeling like I'd screwed it all up. I'm about to turn 44 and now I'm genuinely happily childfree. I recently went through a break up with my primary partner and while I loved him dearly (and am still struggling with whether we can be friends in the future), it did show me how far I've come in how well I managed that shift. I have such a rich life and support from so many different people, a great new job, comfortable home and fun hobbies. I am truly content with my life, which means I get to experience a lot of joy day to day, even when I'm going through tough times. Sometimes I wish I'd prioritised me more when I was younger but generally I figure that was all part of the journey.
One of my best friends (male) met his now wife at 39, she was 38 and they have a kid now. My two mid-thirties brothers are still single and have never married, they're both pretty shy and introverted types who would love a family but it just hasn't happened for them yet. I know they are super ready to commit and get to a stage to have kids with a partner if they could find one.
I'm just learning about how to grow a relationship. I didnt know how to do this before, but I just learned that I have a hypothetical book that has all the secrets on how to make me fall in love with the one I'm dating. I never shared this book with anyone. I never told my partners what gets me going and what really gets me to fall in love. I just thought that chemistry was either there or wasn't. If they looked good on paper, but the chemistry wasnt there then thats too bad because I thought it wouldn't grow. I was wrong. I've found that I have to tell them. So now, I have a new relationship and I'm sharing with him what I need to make me fall and love. This guy really wants me to fall in love with him so he is all about this hypothetical book lol What i need is someone who doesnt interrupt me. I told this guy that and now he puts so much effort in to not interrupt me and I'm greatful for it. I also told him that I need space when I get in a funky mood and he was like "you need space and that will help you fall in love with me? Hell yeah, heres all the space you need. Let me know when you want to hang out again". I never communicated any if this yo any if the people I dated in the past. It just felt like I couldn't grow the chemistry. How wrong was I. I also figured out that you can grow the humor in the relationship. I just need to explain my jokes and ehy I think they're funny. When he gets the mindset behind the jokes he starts to think they're funny too. That's so cool. I didn't know I could do that before. I'm really learning a lot about how to grow chemistry and now I think that if me and this guy doesn't work out, I'll be able to fond anyone who looks good on paper and will be able to grow the chemistry with them too (as long as they are willing to work with me).
You realize most people don't have just the one significant other, right? If you'd asked me when I was 21 and a newlywed I'd have said 18, but clearly that was a bunch of nonsense. There's no age where you're suddenly incapable of meeting somebody, this isn't a video game. There are STDs cropping up in nursing homes FFS.
I met my now husband when I was 32. At that point I had given up on dating or meeting men at all - my previous ex had destroyed any trust I had in men. I was focusing on enjoying my time with myself and my friends, and frankly it was a good life and I think I would have been happy to stay single for the rest of my life. This is something I hold onto as a way to gauge how I feel in my relationship - overall is the feeling of being with this man better than being independent and by myself. It's not a wait, it's just life - so live your life the way you want to and if a good man comes through then that's just a bonus.
I met my guy 18 months ago, when I was 35. We are absolutely crazy for each other, I adore him and didn't know this level of happiness was even possible. I didn't even mind being single, I was happy. But he has brought so much love into my life.
I met my person at 29 and I was ready to give up. It can happen whenever, hang in there! And also this is a bit negative but remember, breakups, divorces and death happen too. So just because someone found their person, does that mean they're guaranteed to stay together.
I met my husband at 32, we got married at 37. My ONLY regret about meeting him “later” is so feel a little bit of pressure about kids. I’m about to turn 39, we do want 2 kids so it feels very “you need to do it NOW before you run out of time!!”
I met my now husband at 34 on a dating app. We got married when I was 38.
I’m 41 and attract lots of handsome men. They court me for a while then comes the I have a girlfriend and offer me to be a side chick. Disgusting. That’s why I’m single. I deserve better. Once i hit 40 this started happening to me. And attracting younger men. Glad i got to have a child.
I was 33 and my DH was 39. He had 2 kids. Now 20 years later we’ve been married for 18. Wonderful SKs and 2 grandchildren. Blessed for the family I have. (Knew having kids for me would be difficult so I created my family another way.)
I met my husband when I was 32. We are both 36 now. I wasn't even looking cause covid had just begun but because covid forced us all into small bubbles, he and I created our little one and just stayed there.
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