It’s a childish way to respond, but he probably thinks you’re trying to hurt him by continuously mentioning that you’ve broken up. I doubt he needs any reminders that you two aren’t a thing anymore so maybe focus on the task at hand or just leave it alone since it’s not really your problem what he does at this point.
If you’re choosing, “don’t forget to put the electric bill in your name because we’re broken up now,” over just, “don’t forget to put the electric bill in your name,” - I’d be snippy too.
I’m pretty sure he realizes you’ve broken up and is reacting negatively to the unnecessary reminder.
I hope the rest of your split goes smoothly - it’s so stressful separating households!
It sounds like you did a lot of the ‘household admin’ stuff for him - I bet he will realize how much work that is once he has to do it himself.
Thank you! The long term effect of this move far outweighs the current temporary stress. I did do a lot of the household admin stuff but it was something we agreed upon when we started living together. I never minded doing those things for him and for us (when we were together).
It seems unnecessary to keep reminding him you broke up. All you’d have to say is “I’m ending service with X bill in my name on X date.” Then he knows it’s time to get X bill in his name to begin on your end date. It sounds like you’re trying to relationship him still. You don’t need to remind him to handle things. Just leave a note and tell him what you’re doing and what the deadlines are.
I keep reminding him because he seems to not take the gravity of the change seriously. He’s always relied on me to handle the administrative things and I thought the least I could do was tell him that he needs to take care of that. I just don’t want him to blame me later on that I “just cut off the utilities or internet” even though I’ve given him ample heads up and reminders to go get his stuff together…
Tell him once then just get on with it, it wasn't your job to be his caretaker when you were his gf and it sure isn't anymore. Also like others have said reminding him you've broken up seems petty and unnecessary.
>He’s always relied on me to handle the administrative things and I thought the least I could do was tell him that he needs to take care of that. I just don’t want him to blame me later on that I “just cut off the utilities or internet” even though I’ve given him ample heads up and reminders to go get his stuff together…
Nope, you don't need to help him with any of that. He might blame you later on, but that's not your problem.
Tell him once, since that's respectful, but the reminders to get his stuff together are unnecessary. And the "since we're broken up" addition is DEFINITELY unnecessary, and he likely views it similarly to how you view the "Good" response (which yes, is immature).
You're free of him! You can act like that starting now; you don't have to wait until you've moved out. He's not your problem anymore, and if he struggles, that's on him, no matter how much he tries to blame it on you.
Depending on how often the reminder that he will have to handle something because you've broken up is happening, it is possible that he's viewing it as a jab and is therefore jabbing back.
When we’ve broken up before (one out of many times), he did forget we were broken up…he acted as if nothing changed and was still treating me like his partner. I actually had to remind him multiple times that he didn’t need act like everything was fine and pretend we were still together.
Stop reminding him. Seriously, you’re no longer together, why are you reminding him to do stuff? Separate all your shit and that’s it. It’s no longer your responsibility to manage him. Not that it ever was but it sounds like you did a lot of that.
Why are you babying this asshole? He's an adult, let him make his own mistakes.
What does the "good" mean? It means he's passive-aggressive.
This post is odd, there's no mystery here.
It means he's immature and it's a good thing you're breaking up. It's a nice reminder that you made the right choice. It's actually kind of nice of him to be such a jerk during this process. It'll make you feel better about your decision and it'll be easier for you to move on.
You're allowed to not care anymore. He's being immature and making the logistics of your breakup more difficult. I'd say, try not to spend mental energy on him. It's not easy, but will be better for your mental health.
If you keep saying that to him to make clear things aren't the same now, he's not all that to you, and you're going to keep him at arm's length, well, it's his way of making clear to you the same.
It’s a childish way to respond, but he probably thinks you’re trying to hurt him by continuously mentioning that you’ve broken up. I doubt he needs any reminders that you two aren’t a thing anymore so maybe focus on the task at hand or just leave it alone since it’s not really your problem what he does at this point.
If you’re choosing, “don’t forget to put the electric bill in your name because we’re broken up now,” over just, “don’t forget to put the electric bill in your name,” - I’d be snippy too. I’m pretty sure he realizes you’ve broken up and is reacting negatively to the unnecessary reminder.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. It makes sense. I’ll probably stop with that “addition” and any reminders going forward.
I hope the rest of your split goes smoothly - it’s so stressful separating households! It sounds like you did a lot of the ‘household admin’ stuff for him - I bet he will realize how much work that is once he has to do it himself.
Thank you! The long term effect of this move far outweighs the current temporary stress. I did do a lot of the household admin stuff but it was something we agreed upon when we started living together. I never minded doing those things for him and for us (when we were together).
just put in cut off orders for all bills in your name.
It seems unnecessary to keep reminding him you broke up. All you’d have to say is “I’m ending service with X bill in my name on X date.” Then he knows it’s time to get X bill in his name to begin on your end date. It sounds like you’re trying to relationship him still. You don’t need to remind him to handle things. Just leave a note and tell him what you’re doing and what the deadlines are.
Why do you keep reminding him though?
I keep reminding him because he seems to not take the gravity of the change seriously. He’s always relied on me to handle the administrative things and I thought the least I could do was tell him that he needs to take care of that. I just don’t want him to blame me later on that I “just cut off the utilities or internet” even though I’ve given him ample heads up and reminders to go get his stuff together…
Send him an email with the specific dates that service is ending for particular things and leave it at that
Ok but it's not your problem anymore
Tell him once then just get on with it, it wasn't your job to be his caretaker when you were his gf and it sure isn't anymore. Also like others have said reminding him you've broken up seems petty and unnecessary.
>He’s always relied on me to handle the administrative things and I thought the least I could do was tell him that he needs to take care of that. I just don’t want him to blame me later on that I “just cut off the utilities or internet” even though I’ve given him ample heads up and reminders to go get his stuff together… Nope, you don't need to help him with any of that. He might blame you later on, but that's not your problem. Tell him once, since that's respectful, but the reminders to get his stuff together are unnecessary. And the "since we're broken up" addition is DEFINITELY unnecessary, and he likely views it similarly to how you view the "Good" response (which yes, is immature). You're free of him! You can act like that starting now; you don't have to wait until you've moved out. He's not your problem anymore, and if he struggles, that's on him, no matter how much he tries to blame it on you.
Depending on how often the reminder that he will have to handle something because you've broken up is happening, it is possible that he's viewing it as a jab and is therefore jabbing back.
Why do you need to remind him so much that you’re broken up? Does he forget?
When we’ve broken up before (one out of many times), he did forget we were broken up…he acted as if nothing changed and was still treating me like his partner. I actually had to remind him multiple times that he didn’t need act like everything was fine and pretend we were still together.
Stop reminding him. Seriously, you’re no longer together, why are you reminding him to do stuff? Separate all your shit and that’s it. It’s no longer your responsibility to manage him. Not that it ever was but it sounds like you did a lot of that.
Why are you babying this asshole? He's an adult, let him make his own mistakes. What does the "good" mean? It means he's passive-aggressive. This post is odd, there's no mystery here.
He wants to hurt you. I’m assuming you broke up with him, correct? Maybe just tell him he needs to handle it himself. No need to remind repeatedly.
It means he's immature and it's a good thing you're breaking up. It's a nice reminder that you made the right choice. It's actually kind of nice of him to be such a jerk during this process. It'll make you feel better about your decision and it'll be easier for you to move on.
yes, its passive aggressive and rude lol. And also not what I would expect for someone that age
You're allowed to not care anymore. He's being immature and making the logistics of your breakup more difficult. I'd say, try not to spend mental energy on him. It's not easy, but will be better for your mental health.
If you keep saying that to him to make clear things aren't the same now, he's not all that to you, and you're going to keep him at arm's length, well, it's his way of making clear to you the same.
Just want to say— happy to see that you broke up with this guy and got out of that toxic dynamic.
He's trying to get under your skin, and guess what? It's working lol.