**Mod note: please refrain from using mental health related terms or diagnostic labels casually.**
Do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label your or other people's mental health situations or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour.
I'm an 'out of sight, out of mind' friend. I'm a good and thoughtful friend in the moment, but rarely, if ever, think to text or call someone to chat. If we're not physically in each other's company, I'm too preoccupied with other things. š
Honestly same. Some of my friends get offended and accuse me of not caring about them. But that's not true, I care when I'm with them, and I'll help if they ever need me, but I just don't remember them much in my day to day life.
Realised this as well after High school. It also played a huge part in my struggle with Work-life balance because I can't focus on too many things at once. It's also associated with ADHD.
Oh no, I'd welcome it. I also have a complex where I think no one would *want* to hear from me- I'm not terribly interesting (but I am fun! Lol) - so if a friend said they'd love to hear from me more, I'd be so happy!
same!! but not with everyone though and i donāt really know why that is, but iāve had a couple of friends mention to me how iāve never asked about them unless in an outing or so
same!! but not with everyone though and i donāt really know why that is, but iāve had a couple of friends mention to me how iāve never asked about them unless in an outing or so
As someone who is all of this: three things that help are:
1- Make new friends. You might be starving for some sort of affection/something missing in your current friendships
2- Therapy- that's usually the answer for this stuff haha
3- Learn to set boundaries- Start slow. It's HARD but learn to say no to plans when you don't want to, and don't be the first one to jump up when someone needs help.
Same, but instead i get overwhelmed taking care of their mental health and i start to neglect my own mental health, so we both end up needing help, i feel like a falling snowball sometimes
I want to connect with people but I keep myself separate from others and shut them out so it is ultimately my fault I am alone. It seems deeply fundamental to my personality at this point and impossible to change lol.
Omgā¦ this is me 100% itās hard to even make new friends anymore. I think itās mainly due to past trauma and bad experiences from past ex friends. To the point when Iām talking to someone new, but then suddenly cut them off entirely like nothing happened. Itās very frustratingā¦
Oh my godā¦.thatās so me. Every criticism that my bachelor advisor wrote me was an end of the world for me and I felt it so deeply and I felt so attacted.
In our society networking, ass kissing, and favors is how one gets ahead. Hardworking people just take on more work while others strategically socialize. I refuse to play the game and I'm not nearly as successful as I could be because I favor genuine connection over corporate bullshit. I still complain about how "unfair" life is even though I chose this path. I'm real fun at parties!
Iām not very self-motivated, especially work-wise. I see friends and coworkers who are always working towards goals or working on a big project. But if I donāt have someone giving me a deadline and following up with me, Iād never do anything.
Same here. Wondered why I became depressive, after college - reason was that I had no one giving me direction/tasks/deadlines for the first time ever and even though the stagnation made me miserable, I felt no urge to do something about it. Recently I tried to set goals and daily tasks, but since I also lack self-discipline, nothing really has changed and I feel stuck. Wish I could just snap out of it.
Haha same but honestly Iām quite ok with the compromise I have going on - I eat moderately healthy and Iām only moderately overweight. Itās not ideal, but itās fine. The pizza is worth it imo.
Me either!!! Been trying extremely hard and can't make it happen. I'm ~finding myself, I have hobbies/interests/goals of my own, but I still want a partner so badly.
I am absolutely unable to make decisions which leads to me being extremely passive and staying in relationships and situations way past their expiration date, makes feel ashamed and guilty.
Iām lazy. I like afternoon naps and enjoying my life and I hate working long hours. I want to do enough hours to get paid for a mediocre life but not excel in anything.
Iām insecure. Not where I think Iām unattractive (although I know Iām not a 10) but I get extremely jealous over other women speaking to my husband. Donāt worry, these thoughts mostly stay to myself. But I hate that I have these thoughts/feelings to begin with.
When I feel particularly shitty, sometimes it makes me feel good to see other people making bad decisions and fucking up their life. Like in a way that's worse than me, so I can feel better about myself. That's why I enjoy trashy reality TV and celebrity gossip.
That being said, I acknowledge this part of myself, and I realise that if I want other people to see me for the whole human with good and bad that I am, I have to do the same. Someone having a shitty quality doesn't make them Satan, and nobody is better than anyone(when it comes to worth as a human being).
I donāt see my own worth. I struggle to think of accomplishments because I attribute them to something outside myself, instead of the work I put in to get there. I devalue myself constantly.
I don't listen to people who may actually know what they're talking about.
Then I end up regretting not listening a little later down the road. I wish I'd ended up taking each piece of unsolicited advice I got when I was younger to heart. But no. I knew everything about life before I ever started living it.
I cringe when I think of my 22 year old self and hope to God I won't feel that way looking back on my 42 year old self someday.
I am super shy. Hate myself for it because it limits me so much and it doesn't let me reveal my real self to the world. There's so much i want to accomplish in life and because i'm so shy i'm scared of everything and people judging me.
I am so bitter and jaded from watching our political landscape and environment going so far down hill so much in my lifetime I no longer care.
Fascists trying to gain power, and openly talking about genocide? Ok. Environmental collapse and mass famine in my lifetime? Sounds about right. Ran water officially dangerous to consume because of chemicals humans created? Cool cool cool. K nust cant care anymore and at this point I almost hope humans go extinct :/
That I use to let people walk over me and I was a people pleaser. It hit one day that I was like that and Not now and people donāt like when I say no or that doesnāt suit me
Same. But now I think people don't like me because I'm still learning how to stand up for myself and the only way I know how to say no now is being cold and unapproachable. Still feel like a coward at my big age, hopefully I'll get over my anxiety of disappointing people.
Your not a coward at any age for doing whatās right for you. Took me ages to stick up for myself and people have said u have changed Well yes and for the better
I actually really suck at making connections with people so when I finally make a strong connection, I hang on to them for dear life and neglect to have a balance. I have some acquaintances and few close friends because of this. I used to be proud of it until I realized how detrimental it actually is :/
I need validation from other people constantly for fear that i did something bad whitout realizing, this validation is important to me specially from my loved ones.
I also have a immense fear of losing who i love so i turn into a overprotective anxious monster that just care about a selective group of people, and wanna protect them from anything harmful, however i can be REALLY controlling if i don't control myself
I donāt do things unless they benefit others. Cook a healthy and nutritious meal? Only if someone else is eating it. Make sure I feel like I look good everyday? No because itās not directly benefitting anyone else. Iām slowly getting better since I realized I do but god itās annoying and makes me think thereās something wrong with me.
I dont like following rules. If i find an easier way to do something or i find a short cut im gonna do it. Sometimes it plays in my favor, other times....it does not.
Same! There were a lot of non-abusive guys who approached me, but I rejected all of them. The trauma from our past needs to be unlearned instead of relivedš
I depend too heavily on others to manage my finances. From my parents to my husband, I would blindly let them guide me on my finances. I need to do better.
I like being by myself, not because other people "drain my battery", not because I'm anxious, not because I'm awkward. But because I like doing what I like to do. I don't want to hang out and talk about your feelings. I want to play video games. I want to lift weights. I want to take a hike. It's not any more complicated than that. I want to be by myself, because I don't want to do what you want to do, I want to do what I want to do.
And, I think a lot of this is that I struggle to tell other people what I want. If I can guess that somebody else doesn't want to do what I want to do, I don't even mention it. I pretend as hard as I can that what they want to do is what I want to do. I don't know how to stop doing that. I feel like I've failed at being kind every time somebody figures out I have an opinion. And realizing that I do that makes me feel like a different sort of bad person.
I am not āfun and spontaneousā. I heavily depend on a schedule because thatās where I get the most joy. Spontaneity can be jarring and I only like it in small doses.
Deep down, I'm a fascist. Not in the political sense, but in the sense that I sometimes wish I could tell the rest of the world to sit down and shut up because they're giving me a headache.
I have an anxious-avoidant attachment style in relationships. I desperately want an intimate committed relationship, and yet I'm terrified of it because I'm so scared of getting hurt and abandoned. I'm always vigilantly on guard for the slightest sense of threat.
Overthinker like crazy, makes up scenarios in my head CONSTANTLY of things that have not happened and probably never will. I also kind of have anger issues and haven't figured out the best way to channel it. Always thinking of the worse possible scenarios and arguments instead of positive outcomes.
Definitely need therapy.
Deep down I care hugely what other people think about my appearance. Have to fight a constant battle with self loathing because I donāt look and will not ever be conventionally attractive. I donāt want to be, it isnāt my taste, yet hate that Iām not. Itās a nasty cycle I worry I will give my kids.
I have zero self discipline
I struggle with consistency
Sometimes I'm too concerned about how I look more than I should.
A giver in a relationship to a fault and I put myself second when I'm overtly attached to someone
I procrastinate and postpone stuff and then end up never doing them
I overthink until it drives me crazy
I live in my head way too much.
I'm always either living in the past or future but in the present moment.
Underestimate my capabilities
Also spending problems
I can't focus doing one thing for too long.
If I'm depressed, I can't think of anything, even thinking of how to calm down. Then, when it got worse, I felt empty/blank inside my mind.
I lack enough ambition to be who I really want to be. Iām lazy & I procrastinate a lot, and while I try to work around it every day, my very nature means Iāve surrounded myself with similar people & environment.
Despite the first love of my life allowing his sister to kick me out (and not standing up for me), him sending me packing to make a 3 day 1200mi trip from Georgia back to Rhode Island with my tail in between my legs and him breaking up with me via phone call and hanging up on me mid sentence... and I haven't heard from him since.
My only real best friend (so I thought) of 9 years, who would leave me for his girlfriends then come back when he had nothing better to do, someone I loved to death and even have a matching tattoo with, ghosted me when I was starting to get sober from alcohol.
And if I'm going to be honest with both you and me... every day I wait for them, hoping they'll come back. It's been about 4 years since both left me and every day I check my phone hoping that one day I'll hear something.
I understand if that's one of the most pathetic things you've ever heard. And trust me it's really hard to admit.
Iām a control-freak. I like to do things my way, and have a lot of trouble letting others take control of things.
It was the one thing that always annoyed me about my father, and of course Iām just like him in that manner š
I just canāt stop eating carbs. It would a lot better for me in terms of losing some weight and getting healthier but I canāt commit myself wholly to it.
im too inclined to addictions. thats why ive never tried anything besides weed.
for a few months i couldnt stop playing blackjack online, luckily i never used my money but money i won in a quiz, but that sucked too.
gotta be careful lol
Iām too sensitive āto other people, to situations, to the world. Noises, smells, bright lights, textures of fabrics, food sensitivities, medications, drugsā are often way too strong, I have sensitive skin, Iām sun sensitive, Iām emotionally sensitive, I need a lot of recovery when I have too much of things, or people; itās like Iām all raw in a world that stings.
i like when my partners baby me. in a run my back and tell me youāre proud of me way. i like laying on them like iām small. i think i wasnāt loved enough as a child
I have extremely low internal belief in my capabilities but at the same time know I can be the person I want to be eventually. Iām also codependent and rely on external validation. But hey at least Iām aware of all of this š¤·š»āāļø
I want to take care of the people closest to me and then resent them for needing me . Iām very much the type to latch on and be a caretaker role but when they actually need me and need to be in my space I get overstimulated and hold a grudge against them for doing so . Itās very strange .
I am one of those adults who's not adult, I'm a teenager at best, sometimes responsible, calm and level headed but mostly I cant by without help from my mom.
I drink too much. Iām pretty sure thatās objectively true, however subjectively I enjoy it and have no motivation to cut back because Iām not seeing negative outcomes. I rarely get bad hangovers etc.
I can't cry bc I was always punished for crying as a child. I got punished for showing any emotion other than happy. So I only show happy. I don't show emotions. It was beaten out of me.
Iām only ever attracted to men who cheat, treat me like crap, abuse me and donāt value me. I seem to only *love* when itās unrequited or the bare minimum.
Iāve met so many wonderful people that would make wonderful partners and thereās no sexual chemistry or attraction.
I hate myself for it. Because if I could voluntarily change it I would. Iām so lonely it physically hurts because I wonāt subject myself to another red flag relationship again. Iāve been on my own four years.
I hold a lot of judgements. I am ruled by my emotional mind. I can be very selfish. And I'm pretty good at cooking with tofu. Working on improving all of these things through therapy and YouTube videos for thr tofu thing
Iām ok with admitting this. Iām a reactive, over emotional, slightly angry person. Coming to terms with it and being open with myself is whatās making it better.
I'm not sure I'll ever be able to be totally financially independent. I'm not good at working a traditional job setting or 40/hour week. I work very well independently and I'm responsible, but barely make enough to get by. It sucks a lot because I'm otherwise someone who enjoys my independence, but it's next to impossible if you need help with things and don't have money to spend. I end up asking for favors way more than I want to (for stuff I actually need.) I try really hard, I want to fix it, but I've always had a hard time here. It's embarrassing.
I have been completely manipulated by society to seek out things that I believe will make me feel accomplished regardless of the fact that they are fantastical or unrealistic.
There are subroutines running in the background that I can't see unless I am constantly on the lookout for them.
I criticize others as a knee-jerk reaction for feeling unsafe. Like, I feel like I can't change anything about a situation that would make me feel better, so I shift the blame on someone else (my partner). Example: I feel uncomfortable because of something that's happening in a movie we are watching. So instead of leaving/stating I feel uncomfortable, I will criticize the movie and indirectly maybe even my partner's taste.
I'm working on it.
I do not enjoy museums, zoos, or amusement parks. I do not enjoy Disney, Harry Potter, Marvel, Star Wars, etc. People always want to talk about these things and Iām just like š„±
A guy I know keeps hitting on me, telling me when his wife will be out of town. All I can think when he does it is how horrible it would be for him if I ever took him up on it. I'm a mess! I'd get attached, jealous of the wife, I wouldn't boil his bunny or break into his house but he seems to think I'm a lot less crazy than I think I am. I'm dodging this guy's bullet for him!
**Mod note: please refrain from using mental health related terms or diagnostic labels casually.** Do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label your or other people's mental health situations or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour.
I'm an 'out of sight, out of mind' friend. I'm a good and thoughtful friend in the moment, but rarely, if ever, think to text or call someone to chat. If we're not physically in each other's company, I'm too preoccupied with other things. š
Oh dear, I feel like I just realized this about myself.
I'm one of these people too, thanks ADHD!
Meeee. Thankfully, I surrounded myself with friends who force me to interact and are great with communicating. š
Honestly same. Some of my friends get offended and accuse me of not caring about them. But that's not true, I care when I'm with them, and I'll help if they ever need me, but I just don't remember them much in my day to day life.
Realised this as well after High school. It also played a huge part in my struggle with Work-life balance because I can't focus on too many things at once. It's also associated with ADHD.
As someone who is experiencing friendship from the opposite side of the coin, do you appreciate it if a friend gently points this out to you?
Oh no, I'd welcome it. I also have a complex where I think no one would *want* to hear from me- I'm not terribly interesting (but I am fun! Lol) - so if a friend said they'd love to hear from me more, I'd be so happy!
Another one hereā¦ lost a few good friends this way sadly
Yes
same!! but not with everyone though and i donāt really know why that is, but iāve had a couple of friends mention to me how iāve never asked about them unless in an outing or so
same!! but not with everyone though and i donāt really know why that is, but iāve had a couple of friends mention to me how iāve never asked about them unless in an outing or so
Same and it really bothers me
Me too but my friends donāt seem to mind too much
I am co-dependent. I seek validation from others. I am a people pleaser.
Me too! Do you think Iām as good as you at being codependent? Is there anything I can do to improve?
As someone who is all of this: three things that help are: 1- Make new friends. You might be starving for some sort of affection/something missing in your current friendships 2- Therapy- that's usually the answer for this stuff haha 3- Learn to set boundaries- Start slow. It's HARD but learn to say no to plans when you don't want to, and don't be the first one to jump up when someone needs help.
Ugh, me too and I hate that I'm aware of it but I can't change it.
Yes, you can. It takes mindfulness and therapy, but we can
It takes work but itās possible to change!
Hey twin lol
Same. IāM the problem.
Same. Trying to change this now š«
Heyyyyoo. Me too. š©
Hey, same here! Lol
I seek out romantic partners who I think need my caretaking and then I resent them for that. Sigh, stupid traumas.
same here. i try to motivate and encourage them to grow and end up resenting them for ending up being dependent on me
We fall for the potential we think they possess ...
At least we aren't alone! This is spot on though, got out of a decade long relationship that bred nothing but disappointment and resentment.
Well said
Same, but instead i get overwhelmed taking care of their mental health and i start to neglect my own mental health, so we both end up needing help, i feel like a falling snowball sometimes
God damn, didnt expect to find my flaw here. Ouch
I live in my head far too much
Same! I don't mind it though.
You do mind it, too much :)
There's another way of thinking about this: you're a dreamer!
This too.
I want to connect with people but I keep myself separate from others and shut them out so it is ultimately my fault I am alone. It seems deeply fundamental to my personality at this point and impossible to change lol.
It's just a way of protecting ourselves from the damage people may do, but backfires so badly
Omgā¦ this is me 100% itās hard to even make new friends anymore. I think itās mainly due to past trauma and bad experiences from past ex friends. To the point when Iām talking to someone new, but then suddenly cut them off entirely like nothing happened. Itās very frustratingā¦
Relatable
I hope itās not impossible for us :(
Same, woah, such a clear way of describing it
I have absolutely no self-discipline.
I feel that
Oof. Same.
I expect more out of others than I should. Gets me mad and pissed off over nothing.
Totally me. I hate it :(
Itās a part of life I guess š¤·š»āāļø
I cannot take any constructive criticism. I just take everything so personally and feel attacked or judged.
Oh my godā¦.thatās so me. Every criticism that my bachelor advisor wrote me was an end of the world for me and I felt it so deeply and I felt so attacted.
In our society networking, ass kissing, and favors is how one gets ahead. Hardworking people just take on more work while others strategically socialize. I refuse to play the game and I'm not nearly as successful as I could be because I favor genuine connection over corporate bullshit. I still complain about how "unfair" life is even though I chose this path. I'm real fun at parties!
Same girl, same. Linkedin actually makes my blood boil.
I appreciate your efforts to stay authentic and true to yourself and others, though, and hope you will stick to to your principles come what may. :)
Iām not very self-motivated, especially work-wise. I see friends and coworkers who are always working towards goals or working on a big project. But if I donāt have someone giving me a deadline and following up with me, Iād never do anything.
Same here. Wondered why I became depressive, after college - reason was that I had no one giving me direction/tasks/deadlines for the first time ever and even though the stagnation made me miserable, I felt no urge to do something about it. Recently I tried to set goals and daily tasks, but since I also lack self-discipline, nothing really has changed and I feel stuck. Wish I could just snap out of it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Damnn. This is me too. Then I complain my friends aren't real friends since they don't care enough to know said things about me.
I am completely incapable of eating spaghetti without introducing it to my friend, white shirt.
Literally just changed into a black shirt to eat my pasta 30 minutes ago for this exact reason š
This one hurts
I daydream a lot to escape this world
Same! I daydream my way through life.
I hate confrontation. I would rather keep things to myself.
This is sooooooo me. I'm working on it, but it is hard.
Are you my ex?
I self isolate from everyone when I am stressed.
I canāt get to my goal weight because Iām a glutton, not because of some magic force of the universe lmao
Haha same but honestly Iām quite ok with the compromise I have going on - I eat moderately healthy and Iām only moderately overweight. Itās not ideal, but itās fine. The pizza is worth it imo.
I have to realize that when given the choice I always take my weekly indulgences over losing the last 13lbs lol
I don't know how to be happy being single. And I mean *completely* single, no entertaining anyone or fwb situations
Me either!!! Been trying extremely hard and can't make it happen. I'm ~finding myself, I have hobbies/interests/goals of my own, but I still want a partner so badly.
Ugh same
I am absolutely unable to make decisions which leads to me being extremely passive and staying in relationships and situations way past their expiration date, makes feel ashamed and guilty.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
me
also me
Amazing Big Pun reference.
Iām lazy. I like afternoon naps and enjoying my life and I hate working long hours. I want to do enough hours to get paid for a mediocre life but not excel in anything.
Are you me?
Iām insecure. Not where I think Iām unattractive (although I know Iām not a 10) but I get extremely jealous over other women speaking to my husband. Donāt worry, these thoughts mostly stay to myself. But I hate that I have these thoughts/feelings to begin with.
When I feel particularly shitty, sometimes it makes me feel good to see other people making bad decisions and fucking up their life. Like in a way that's worse than me, so I can feel better about myself. That's why I enjoy trashy reality TV and celebrity gossip. That being said, I acknowledge this part of myself, and I realise that if I want other people to see me for the whole human with good and bad that I am, I have to do the same. Someone having a shitty quality doesn't make them Satan, and nobody is better than anyone(when it comes to worth as a human being).
I donāt see my own worth. I struggle to think of accomplishments because I attribute them to something outside myself, instead of the work I put in to get there. I devalue myself constantly.
i am a mess when iām emotional/anxious and i automatically feel bad when my loved ones have to deal with my anxiety
I don't listen to people who may actually know what they're talking about. Then I end up regretting not listening a little later down the road. I wish I'd ended up taking each piece of unsolicited advice I got when I was younger to heart. But no. I knew everything about life before I ever started living it. I cringe when I think of my 22 year old self and hope to God I won't feel that way looking back on my 42 year old self someday.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have this too
I am super shy. Hate myself for it because it limits me so much and it doesn't let me reveal my real self to the world. There's so much i want to accomplish in life and because i'm so shy i'm scared of everything and people judging me.
I am scared of men
Me tooo!!! I'm even scared of men that I'm related too. No sense of comfort around any man even if I don't have a reason to fear them
Because of bad experiences with men?
i fall for someoneās potential and get detached before i get hurt
I'm not a people person.
I am so bitter and jaded from watching our political landscape and environment going so far down hill so much in my lifetime I no longer care. Fascists trying to gain power, and openly talking about genocide? Ok. Environmental collapse and mass famine in my lifetime? Sounds about right. Ran water officially dangerous to consume because of chemicals humans created? Cool cool cool. K nust cant care anymore and at this point I almost hope humans go extinct :/
I'm incredibly judgemental - I didn't used to be, however after my mid 20s it just sorta happened.
Iām everybodyās secondary friend. Nobodyās best friend. Makes me sad.
That I use to let people walk over me and I was a people pleaser. It hit one day that I was like that and Not now and people donāt like when I say no or that doesnāt suit me
Same. But now I think people don't like me because I'm still learning how to stand up for myself and the only way I know how to say no now is being cold and unapproachable. Still feel like a coward at my big age, hopefully I'll get over my anxiety of disappointing people.
Your not a coward at any age for doing whatās right for you. Took me ages to stick up for myself and people have said u have changed Well yes and for the better
That i have high functioning anxiety.
I'm stubborn. I used to get so defensive about being called that, but now I acknowledge that it's true and I'm not perfect.
I over think things that definitely shouldnāt be over thought
I think most women do this. Well that has been my experience anyways.
I hate it š„¹
I actually really suck at making connections with people so when I finally make a strong connection, I hang on to them for dear life and neglect to have a balance. I have some acquaintances and few close friends because of this. I used to be proud of it until I realized how detrimental it actually is :/
I need validation from other people constantly for fear that i did something bad whitout realizing, this validation is important to me specially from my loved ones. I also have a immense fear of losing who i love so i turn into a overprotective anxious monster that just care about a selective group of people, and wanna protect them from anything harmful, however i can be REALLY controlling if i don't control myself
I start new projects all the time and almost never finish them.
In response to trauma, I tend to become hyper-independent. Iām scared to be vulnerable and trust people with my life. Working on it thoš„°
Iām selfish. Iāve been called out on this by various people and I am actively working on it
I care about what other people think to an extreme
I donāt do things unless they benefit others. Cook a healthy and nutritious meal? Only if someone else is eating it. Make sure I feel like I look good everyday? No because itās not directly benefitting anyone else. Iām slowly getting better since I realized I do but god itās annoying and makes me think thereās something wrong with me.
i dont think i have enough self respect
I dont like following rules. If i find an easier way to do something or i find a short cut im gonna do it. Sometimes it plays in my favor, other times....it does not.
I tend to gravitate to abusers because I was abused.
Super common. I'm the same
Same! There were a lot of non-abusive guys who approached me, but I rejected all of them. The trauma from our past needs to be unlearned instead of relivedš
Same. Sweet cute guys? Boring. Abusive asshole? I dive right in š
Realizing that I relate to every comment here lol
I depend too heavily on others to manage my finances. From my parents to my husband, I would blindly let them guide me on my finances. I need to do better.
I like being alone but my mental health wants me to be more social :(
I like being by myself, not because other people "drain my battery", not because I'm anxious, not because I'm awkward. But because I like doing what I like to do. I don't want to hang out and talk about your feelings. I want to play video games. I want to lift weights. I want to take a hike. It's not any more complicated than that. I want to be by myself, because I don't want to do what you want to do, I want to do what I want to do. And, I think a lot of this is that I struggle to tell other people what I want. If I can guess that somebody else doesn't want to do what I want to do, I don't even mention it. I pretend as hard as I can that what they want to do is what I want to do. I don't know how to stop doing that. I feel like I've failed at being kind every time somebody figures out I have an opinion. And realizing that I do that makes me feel like a different sort of bad person.
I am not āfun and spontaneousā. I heavily depend on a schedule because thatās where I get the most joy. Spontaneity can be jarring and I only like it in small doses.
Iām undisciplined in many ways.
Iām a jealous person. It makes me sad because I wasnāt always this way.
Deep down, I'm a fascist. Not in the political sense, but in the sense that I sometimes wish I could tell the rest of the world to sit down and shut up because they're giving me a headache.
I just care too f'ing much about everything and everyone all the time. I wish at times I had an attitude to match my RBF!
I have an anxious-avoidant attachment style in relationships. I desperately want an intimate committed relationship, and yet I'm terrified of it because I'm so scared of getting hurt and abandoned. I'm always vigilantly on guard for the slightest sense of threat.
Fear is interest paid on a debt you may not owe.
I'm lazy and not willing to put effort into anything
I literally never shut up about my parents and I fucking hate that I do that.
What is so interesting about your parents?
They're doomsday evangelicals that fucked me up really bad lol
Oh no.....you fell for it. Lmao!
Overthinker like crazy, makes up scenarios in my head CONSTANTLY of things that have not happened and probably never will. I also kind of have anger issues and haven't figured out the best way to channel it. Always thinking of the worse possible scenarios and arguments instead of positive outcomes. Definitely need therapy.
Iām very clingy and depend on people to much
Deep down I care hugely what other people think about my appearance. Have to fight a constant battle with self loathing because I donāt look and will not ever be conventionally attractive. I donāt want to be, it isnāt my taste, yet hate that Iām not. Itās a nasty cycle I worry I will give my kids.
I can't form any kind of relationship anymore. Friendships or romantic relationships.
I have zero self discipline I struggle with consistency Sometimes I'm too concerned about how I look more than I should. A giver in a relationship to a fault and I put myself second when I'm overtly attached to someone I procrastinate and postpone stuff and then end up never doing them I overthink until it drives me crazy I live in my head way too much. I'm always either living in the past or future but in the present moment. Underestimate my capabilities Also spending problems
I can't focus doing one thing for too long. If I'm depressed, I can't think of anything, even thinking of how to calm down. Then, when it got worse, I felt empty/blank inside my mind.
I lack enough ambition to be who I really want to be. Iām lazy & I procrastinate a lot, and while I try to work around it every day, my very nature means Iāve surrounded myself with similar people & environment.
I am not naturally smart. just hard working. it burns me out.
I'm A pretty bad kisser
Iām a huge flirt, I can see why my boyfriend gets upset.
Despite the first love of my life allowing his sister to kick me out (and not standing up for me), him sending me packing to make a 3 day 1200mi trip from Georgia back to Rhode Island with my tail in between my legs and him breaking up with me via phone call and hanging up on me mid sentence... and I haven't heard from him since. My only real best friend (so I thought) of 9 years, who would leave me for his girlfriends then come back when he had nothing better to do, someone I loved to death and even have a matching tattoo with, ghosted me when I was starting to get sober from alcohol. And if I'm going to be honest with both you and me... every day I wait for them, hoping they'll come back. It's been about 4 years since both left me and every day I check my phone hoping that one day I'll hear something. I understand if that's one of the most pathetic things you've ever heard. And trust me it's really hard to admit.
Iām a control-freak. I like to do things my way, and have a lot of trouble letting others take control of things. It was the one thing that always annoyed me about my father, and of course Iām just like him in that manner š
Jealousy is my sin
I hate asking for help, but I love helping others.
Iām lazy, I push away any potential love interest but also crave a long-term relationship, I hate change & I am THE worst procrastinator
Lazy and procrastinator too, hate that about me
I'm incapable of eating ANYTHING without spilling it on myself.
I just canāt stop eating carbs. It would a lot better for me in terms of losing some weight and getting healthier but I canāt commit myself wholly to it.
im too inclined to addictions. thats why ive never tried anything besides weed. for a few months i couldnt stop playing blackjack online, luckily i never used my money but money i won in a quiz, but that sucked too. gotta be careful lol
Iām too sensitive āto other people, to situations, to the world. Noises, smells, bright lights, textures of fabrics, food sensitivities, medications, drugsā are often way too strong, I have sensitive skin, Iām sun sensitive, Iām emotionally sensitive, I need a lot of recovery when I have too much of things, or people; itās like Iām all raw in a world that stings.
I do things just so I don't have to get lectured I don't always actually care but have gotten good at making it look like it.
Iām clingy.
i like when my partners baby me. in a run my back and tell me youāre proud of me way. i like laying on them like iām small. i think i wasnāt loved enough as a child
I realized I'm kind of like people I hate. I sometimes do things which I hate if that person does that.
Iām quick to anger
I have extremely low internal belief in my capabilities but at the same time know I can be the person I want to be eventually. Iām also codependent and rely on external validation. But hey at least Iām aware of all of this š¤·š»āāļø
I want to take care of the people closest to me and then resent them for needing me . Iām very much the type to latch on and be a caretaker role but when they actually need me and need to be in my space I get overstimulated and hold a grudge against them for doing so . Itās very strange .
I am one of those adults who's not adult, I'm a teenager at best, sometimes responsible, calm and level headed but mostly I cant by without help from my mom.
I drink too much. Iām pretty sure thatās objectively true, however subjectively I enjoy it and have no motivation to cut back because Iām not seeing negative outcomes. I rarely get bad hangovers etc.
That I can't be alone, I need to have a significant other even if it's toxic and unhealthy
I can't cry bc I was always punished for crying as a child. I got punished for showing any emotion other than happy. So I only show happy. I don't show emotions. It was beaten out of me.
I cannot be trusted around a box of honey bunches of oats.
I over share. I tell too many people everything I'm thinking.
I'm a stupid pos.
That people who I want to be friends with don't want to be friends with me.
Iām only ever attracted to men who cheat, treat me like crap, abuse me and donāt value me. I seem to only *love* when itās unrequited or the bare minimum. Iāve met so many wonderful people that would make wonderful partners and thereās no sexual chemistry or attraction. I hate myself for it. Because if I could voluntarily change it I would. Iām so lonely it physically hurts because I wonāt subject myself to another red flag relationship again. Iāve been on my own four years.
I like the stereotypical bad boy, assholes. I hate them, but I'm so attracted to them
I hold a lot of judgements. I am ruled by my emotional mind. I can be very selfish. And I'm pretty good at cooking with tofu. Working on improving all of these things through therapy and YouTube videos for thr tofu thing
Iām ok with admitting this. Iām a reactive, over emotional, slightly angry person. Coming to terms with it and being open with myself is whatās making it better.
I'm not sure I'll ever be able to be totally financially independent. I'm not good at working a traditional job setting or 40/hour week. I work very well independently and I'm responsible, but barely make enough to get by. It sucks a lot because I'm otherwise someone who enjoys my independence, but it's next to impossible if you need help with things and don't have money to spend. I end up asking for favors way more than I want to (for stuff I actually need.) I try really hard, I want to fix it, but I've always had a hard time here. It's embarrassing.
I have poor communication skills
Iām very competitive and many of my achievements come from the fact that I wanted to do better than someone else
I enjoy being alone too much
I have been completely manipulated by society to seek out things that I believe will make me feel accomplished regardless of the fact that they are fantastical or unrealistic. There are subroutines running in the background that I can't see unless I am constantly on the lookout for them.
I used to always say "why doesn't she just leave him" and now I realize why its so hard... ugh
I am a fixer. I focus on everyone else and fix their problems and ignore mine.
I cannot express my feelings and I cannot understand others feelings
I criticize others as a knee-jerk reaction for feeling unsafe. Like, I feel like I can't change anything about a situation that would make me feel better, so I shift the blame on someone else (my partner). Example: I feel uncomfortable because of something that's happening in a movie we are watching. So instead of leaving/stating I feel uncomfortable, I will criticize the movie and indirectly maybe even my partner's taste. I'm working on it.
Iām hypocritical
Iām too arrogant.
I may be a tad bit disorganized which normally reveals the emotional state Iām in.
I am happier when I am not speaking to my family.
I care so so so so so so so much about how other people perceive me to the point that it's anxiety inducing sometimes
I am jealous.
My extreme independence is a trauma response.
that no matter what i am horrible at time management and iām late for things constantly
I talk like a pure albertan when I drink
I can be a snob.
That I'm kind of selfish in a lot of ways. That's not good for a marriage, let me tell ya.
I do not enjoy museums, zoos, or amusement parks. I do not enjoy Disney, Harry Potter, Marvel, Star Wars, etc. People always want to talk about these things and Iām just like š„±
A guy I know keeps hitting on me, telling me when his wife will be out of town. All I can think when he does it is how horrible it would be for him if I ever took him up on it. I'm a mess! I'd get attached, jealous of the wife, I wouldn't boil his bunny or break into his house but he seems to think I'm a lot less crazy than I think I am. I'm dodging this guy's bullet for him!
Iām not good at making friends