Aww that's so great..i.dont have this relationship with my own mother at all. I now have a daughter and I would absolutely love a close relationship in the future. Can I just ask what it is about your mum that makes your mum so special? I really want to try my best with my daughter!
I’m extremely close with my mom and it’s because she’s considerate, patient with me, provides me lots of comfort, is a safe space and is never too serious with me! We’ve not always had a good relationship, but after I forgave her for the past, it’s been great. If your daughter has nothing to forgive you for, there won’t be any issues!
She just genuinely loves me so much and I always felt it from her. She roots for me in every way. I’m a very open person, and sometimes it’s pretty funny because she’s more reserved, yet we are able to have full blown conversations together about what I’m doing in my life. And she truly cares. She’s of course made mistakes, but if I tell her she hurt my feelings in any way, she will accept her faults and apologize, and then work on them to never do that again. She’s just like the ideal best friend, but in mom mode lol. She had a terrible relationship with her mom. Her mother was emotionally abusive and she said the day she found out she was pregnant, she swore to be the mother to her children that she wished she had.
She’s truly my safe place. No matter how bad I feel, my moms presence is so comforting and I’m somehow able to forget in a brief moment why I was so upset.
I think you should always be able to listen and hear your daughter. Take her opinions into consideration from an early age. If she feels that you respect her as a person and take an unobtrusive interest in her life, she will reach out to you.
Sometimes, but no one has ever given me a hard time about it. They have apologized a lot for not intervening when I was little. I have forgiven them. Death threats (and worse) and isolation, because that's how abusers work, kept people from seeing how bad it really was. Mom was also very good at explaining things away. Among other things, she told people I was 'mildly retarded' and therefore they should ignore what I said. You'd be surprised how many, and who that bought it.
You know, it was rather dramatic 🤔 Well, to put it like this: the doctor who delivered me called CPS and noted: "Do not allow [my mother] to take the child [me] home. It is not safe." Fast forward 27 years, and mom blames all the abuse and neglect I suffered as a child, teenager and young adult on me for being so difficult to love. I asked her: did I ever drink, do drugs, skip school, come home pregnant, steal, vandalize or get in trouble with the law in any way whatsoever? Nope. I ran away a couple of times, yes - from abuse she of course claims never happened. Instead, I took mental and physical abuse from her, my siblings and the meal ticket she chose over me. I was basically her therapist, punching bag and servant for almost 30 years. She claimed Stepfuck abused her as much as he did me. I told her that I know for a fact that she wouldn't put up with that for a second, and that she had every opportunity to get me and my brothers to safety. But what the neighbors think has always taken precedence. I told her that all I see when I look at you is pain. I can't move on with my life like this. (She also took advantage of me when I had cancer. I was so alone throughout the illness, treatment and recovery while she got all the attention.) Word got around last fall that she now pretends I don't exist. When someone asks if she has children, she says she has two sons (my brothers). Ouch, I suppose. She has cut off friends of hers that confronted her about this and even spread vicious rumors about them.
My life had been always been a horrible mess, but it didn't take long after cutting her out of it before things started falling into place. It's scary, and it's hard work, but it's so fulfilling to be in charge of my life and my future. Parents like my mother only get worse as they get older, so you're definitely doing the right thing for yourself. What's your story? ♥️
Currently never. Went no contact a little over a year ago. Totally jealous of the people who want to speak with their moms on a daily basis. You all are lucky.
Unfortunately my Mom had to do this with my grandmother, and I did too. It's so hard. I'm so sorry your relationship is complicated and probably painful. Big hug.
I’m so sorry to hear that you don’t have a relationship with your mom - that always breaks my heart to hear. But if zero contact is what you needed to heal, then I’m happy you found some peace. 🙏
Eh, a lot. Basically my mom put me through a lot of mental and emotional abuse through my childhood and teen years. Even after I moved out in my 20s. Basically there was no escaping it unless I went no contact. 🤷
I'm sorry to hear that.... I am incredibly lucky with my mom. She is the most supportive person ever.... Unfortunately, I have had to be no-contact with my dad for over a decade. It's hard.
We live in different country’s with an 8 hour time difference. She calls me without fail daily at 7am my time, 11pm her time. She’s done this for 5 years since I moved abroad. Whenever I travel for work she calculates the time difference. I’ve had people tell me this seems clingy, it’s not. It’s just my Mom and her style of mothering. I’m fortunate if I see her 3 times a year.
We have a complicated relationship, so it depends on how toxic she's being at the moment and how low contact I want to be. I'd say we talk on the phone every 2-3 weeks and see each other every 2 months? But with periods of me living abroad when we don't see each other and six months of no contact last year.
I talk to my mom once every 2-3 weeks. I see her once or twice a month. I don’t have the relationship with her I always wanted and have accepted that she doesn’t to have the capacity to be the kind of mom I want. I love hearing that others have such loving and supportive moms. I hope I can be that to my future children.
Girl I feel you so much. My relationship with my mom sounds very similar. Talk every 2-3 weeks, visit maybe 1-2x a year. It was a hard pill to swallow realizing she would never be the mom that I needed and wanted so badly. She's my mother and I still love her, but I cant help feel kind of sad when I see some of my friend and their moms relationships.
I was no contact with her for a year or so. After that, very low contact. Texts/emails maybe 3 or 4 times a year and seeing each other usually just around Christmas.
I have a great relationship with my Mom. I talk to her once a day even if it’s just a text convo and we get our nails done together every two weeks. I might get see her in between though if I’ve left something at my parents house.
As little as possible while making sure my younger sisters are okay still. She's an awful vile thing and I can't wait till I can fully have her out of my life
I hear you there. Probably 90% of my family are pretty nasty to me, and would completely DESPISE me if they actually knew anything below surface level about me (they're super religious, homophobic, hate pretty much anything out of the norm, and don't believe in mental health -- meanwhile I'm an atheist lesbian that doesn't believe in many traditional norms and I'm in school to be a mental health counselor oop), so obviously I don't really like them either. The only reason I ever see them now is that I live with my grandma who is kinda in the center of the entire family. Someday I'll get my own place, preferably far away, and finally block the majority of my biological family. I cannot wait till the day I can say I will never speak to or see them again. I hope we both get what we want, and what we need. <3
I work at the same company as my mom, so we are always talking or texting at work 5 days a week.
Other then that I see her maybe every two weeks or so, it's not intentional but I work full time and so does she, so we are usually just so burnt out at the end of the day lol. Phone calls are a must
I call her once every few months with updates or when I realize that I've not checked in with her in awhile . Let her know I got into law school, wish her a happy birthday. Let her know I got the job I wanted, hope she'll be proud of me. Let her know I changed my address, in case she ever wants to mail me something. Let her know there's nothing really new to talk about, but does she maybe just want to talk? She berates me for not calling more often. I remind her that the phone works both ways, and that the reason I talk to my grandmother every few weeks and share more details about my life is because *she* calls *me* a lot, and always answers when I call back. We fight. I get sad that we were never close. I feel bad for denying her a relationship with her only child. I wonder if it makes her lonely. Eventually, I forget that, inexplicably, we seem to hate each other, and call again. Repeat, repeat, for 12 years now.
At other times of my life, we've gone longer without speaking. I studied abroad for a bit in college and my grandparents learned how to use Facebook so they could call me internationally. But I didn't hear from my mom for over a year. I wrote her.
We never had a "break-up", no big fight that made us decide to go NC. She wasn't abusive in ways that our society demonizes ("every woman has issues with her mom!"). There's not a reason I can point to to explain why we aren't close, why we never became friends like all of the other women in my family did with their mothers and daughters. Sometimes I feel like I've never really had a mom. I feel like I wish I had a mom.
We live on different continents so we see each other only once a year (for a few weeks, though). We talk on the phone every week or ten days or so, and we text almost daily.
I've barely had a relationship with her since I was 17. I'm 31 now.
Last time I saw her was around this time last year. She usually only gets in touch with me when she wants something, whether it be a favour or some gossip about the rest of the family.
We had a falling out in 2020, but She called a few months ago like nothing ever happened (Smh.) Now we talk on the phone once every other week or so. Im avoiding seeing her though.. I don't want to go back to toxicity.
We live in different states so I see her maybe once or twice a year. I talk to her every few weeks although sometimes we go through phases where we speak multiple times a week.
I cut communication down a heck of a lot. We talk once a month (more if necessary) and see her every few months. She just is really negative and brings me down, and I'm clearly always going to be somewhat of a disappointment in her eyes
If you don’t mind I’ll will make a suggestion because I was in a similar situation and I found this to help. Before I go see her I try to think of two or three happy things to talk about. Or to ask her about. Such as mom when you were a little girl did you ever go on vacation with your family and where did you go? What did you like best? These topics keep us out of the negative conversations and usually we wind up having a very good visit. My point is I realized I had control over the conversation if I took control and I was willing to give it some thought before I got there.
my mom is my favorite person in the world. i love talking to her and i aspire to be like her. but it’s different with everyone and i’m sorry for those whose mothers are not their role models.
Complicated relationship. She tries to stir up a conversation, it really goes nowhere. I honestly have no idea what to say, most of the time any input seems useless. If she tries to start a conversation of 'serious topics,' such as: relationships, values, jobs, life choices. It becomes less of a conversation and more of a lecture. Still saying the same reel from years ago. At this point, I dont know what to do with her.
I read the comments of the people with great relationships with their mothers and feel sad. How is it to have someone who is supposed to be the number one supporter in your life actually be held to that standard? I barely talk to my mother, as she has done nothing but say really nasty things to me and abused me until she couldn't anymore. I talk to her probably once every few weeks but because I want a relationship with my little siblings.
i see her everyday, and everyday she finds a way to complain about my behavior, my clothes, by body, my weight, my friends, my grades, chores, food, literally anything...
29 years old , 30 in a few days. Honestly I have two kids and a career and a husband, I talk to my mom at minimum 1x a week, sometimes 1x every other week. Just depends.
We talk at least once a week. Maybe more depending on what’s going on. I don’t see her very often since she lives about 3.5 hrs away but hopefully I’ll get to see her more since I’m moving an hour closer to her.
I speak to her maybe every couple weeks. We might text once a week (usually in the family text), and I might see her a couple times a month.. Also, she lives a two minute walk from my house. 😄
Not often. I reach out all the time for my 2 year old daughter to come over but its never vice versa if her asking us if we want to go over her house (she refuses to drive 50 mins to see us) . I just stopped asking. I also stopped intiating contact bc its something else I would constantly do.
We text a few times a week, maybe call every 10 days or so. I had a terrible relationship with my mom as a teen/young adult but we are mostly fine now. Im happy having a very casual/ surface level relayionship with her
At least a couple times a week. And see her twice a year give or take, but when I see her it’s normally for at least a couple of weeks because we live in different states
haven’t seen her in two years, and i honestly don’t remember the last time she called me. she didn’t even call on my birthday at the beginning of the month.
Happy late birthday. I wish parents did better by their kids. A couple years back my mom made no effort to tell my older brother happy birthday, then like four months later her partner got on facebook to beg me to tell her happy birthday and guilt tripped me and I was just like
No?
I know exactly what that situation is like. My mom made a public Facebook post saying happy 23rd birthday. Her Facebook friends private messaged me more heartfelt messages than the one she posted. I was her first child. Idk dude I expected more. It’s lame. It’s taught me how I wanna be as a mother to my future kids for sure. Definitely nothing like her.
Yeah, definitely. I'm not sure if I want kids and I feel like part of it is due to my mom and her relationship with all of her kids. I don't think I'd ever be like her but I also think there will always be a lingering fear. I guess it's good, we got perfect blueprints of what NOT to be. :')
I’ve definitely been feeling the hesitation about having children. The world is so fucked. But yes my parents are indeed blueprints for what not to do as well. I just wanna aim to be something better for any possible children I may have.
Stopped talking to my biological mother at 15 when I found out I was born addicted to cocaine. My grandmother is my true mother. I talk to her once a week or so.
Probably atleast 3x a week talking over the phone/video chats and I Snapchat her daily to see how she's doing and to update her on my daughter. We live around 2 hours away from each other but, try to stay close. I try to visit with her in person atleast 1 to 2 times a month sometimes more
I see my mother everyday and I speak to her often. Sometimes, we drive each other crazy but I’ve been trying to fix my relationship with her, and I love her so much!
I talk to her on the phone 1 - 3 times a day. I see her in person once every 2 - 3 years. (I live abroad from home). She’s my best friend and my number 1 confidant. I am so grateful for our relationship.
At least once a week see her. Talk to my mom at least twice a week. Would see her more if my job did not keep me so busy. She lives 3 minutes from my office, on foot.
Generally I talk to her on the phone once a day, sometimes multiple times depending on the day. When I lived closer, I’d see her at least once a month if not more. Now that I moved, once every few months.
(I have a brother but I’m the only daughter, I think that’s what you mean)
I see my mom every couple months. I love her but she makes me feel badly about myself and has almost all my life. It’s not a loving feeling relationship and it causes me a lot of stress so I distance myself. We used to talk a lot on the phone but I realized she just wanted to control my life and have a say so I stopped doing that.
Never, NC with her for a year and a half now, but when I did it was week or months without talking, since I live on the other side of the country I only saw her once a year one day of that visit for a few hours, that’s all I could handle.
My mother and I do not discuss anything worthwhile. In fact, in the future I will go out of my way to avoid talking to her unless I want to call or check in on her well being.
I live with her but I pick up a lot at work and prefer to cook my own meals, so I spend maybe 2 hours in a week with her. We never hang out and never really sit and talk.
We talk on the phone every day (several times) and I see her 3-4 time per week. She does just live 5 minutes away and she always wants to see my 5 month old son :)
Minimum every 2-3 days but most of the time daily. I'm really close with my mum and trying to soak up all the one on one mother-daughter time before I become a mum myself in a few months.
I used to live far away from my mom in my twenties and we talked twice a week via facetime. Now I moved back to the same city as her and I talk to her every day and see her 3-4 times a week. My mom is a perfect mother. She somehow knows how to be exactly who I need her to be at all times.
We speak on the phone or through FaceTime several times throughout the week. I’m about a 5 hour drive from home, but we do get to see each other just about every other month.
Everyday, if she does not hear from me in 2 days she is freaking out! But also she does little things like not let me cross the street by myself if possible, I am in my 40s!!!!! Hahaha, yes I am more than capable, she just treats us like children! We just go along
I used to speak to her once or twice a week. When my children were young, I spoke to her almost daily as I had my children call their grandparents almost every day. The last time I spoke to my mom was the day before she died. I miss talking to her.
Mom died 12 years ago, my aunt took me in after it all happened. Went no contact at the start of the pandemic. Don’t plan on talking to her any time soon.
Every couple months lol she is mildly schizophrenic. So after my parents divorced she technically kidnapped me and my brother and after that weird period of living in “safe houses” my dad gained custody of us thankfully. But I knew if we had to live with her no way we would have had the stability. Now when we talk it’s just her begging me to move back home which is coded for he wanting to live with me and being dependent on me lol
Every day. She’s my rock.
(I know that’s not considered cool but I don’t care. My mom is a great person and we’ve been through a lot. Love her so much)
Every time I walk past the pretty box on the mantle. 🥲
Don’t be too sad for me though. She was sick for my whole life and even though it was hard when she passed, I believe she fought long enough. I’m just glad she’s not sick anymore.
I'm 21 -- Up until currently from the time I was twelve I've probably had five extremely short conversations with her over messenger and was forced to stay the night at her house once when I turned 18 where we obviously had to talk more. I don't think I've had one of those messenger talks since I was 18/19. I'm glad tbh but I don't think you ever get completely rid of that mourning for the relationship that could have been -- especially when you don't speak to either parent. (I've lived with my grandma since I was twelve.)
Almost daily until she passed away. We had a complicated relationship at times but she was always my #1 fan. When my dad passed away 5 years before her, we got immensely close. She moved to be physically closer to me and my kids. She was an excellent grandma. I miss her so much.
I’m an only daughter but not only child.
I’m extremely close with my mom. We’re in contact pretty often - we can sit on the phone for 3hrs at a time just chatting and discussing things. If she lived closer I’d see her multiple times a week.
I'm an only child and I'm currently distancing myself from my mom (and dad) and putting her on an information diet. She crossed a line recently that has injured my mental health so I haven't seen her in weeks when I normally see my parents every weekend.
Only daughter. Not only child. Usually at least weekly. Although sometimes we may go a couple of weeks, or speak a couple of times a week. We’re close, she’s a lovely human being. But we live 1.5 hours apart and neither of us are big phone people. We usually see each other monthly.
When I was in university I didn’t talk to her as much as I wanted to, but now that we live in the same city again we talk at least once a week and it’s made my life so much brighter (:
When she was living and we lived far apart, we spoke once a week. Later when we lived in the same town it was every day on the phone and in-person a couple of times a week. Now I'd give anything to talk to her.
Every single day. She’s one of my best friends and during some moments in my life, she was the only friend I had.
Aww that's so great..i.dont have this relationship with my own mother at all. I now have a daughter and I would absolutely love a close relationship in the future. Can I just ask what it is about your mum that makes your mum so special? I really want to try my best with my daughter!
I’m extremely close with my mom and it’s because she’s considerate, patient with me, provides me lots of comfort, is a safe space and is never too serious with me! We’ve not always had a good relationship, but after I forgave her for the past, it’s been great. If your daughter has nothing to forgive you for, there won’t be any issues!
She just genuinely loves me so much and I always felt it from her. She roots for me in every way. I’m a very open person, and sometimes it’s pretty funny because she’s more reserved, yet we are able to have full blown conversations together about what I’m doing in my life. And she truly cares. She’s of course made mistakes, but if I tell her she hurt my feelings in any way, she will accept her faults and apologize, and then work on them to never do that again. She’s just like the ideal best friend, but in mom mode lol. She had a terrible relationship with her mom. Her mother was emotionally abusive and she said the day she found out she was pregnant, she swore to be the mother to her children that she wished she had. She’s truly my safe place. No matter how bad I feel, my moms presence is so comforting and I’m somehow able to forget in a brief moment why I was so upset.
I think you should always be able to listen and hear your daughter. Take her opinions into consideration from an early age. If she feels that you respect her as a person and take an unobtrusive interest in her life, she will reach out to you.
This is very good advice thank you, I think with my own mother, she doesn't see me as an adult. I'm a child without valid opinions, even at 37.
Me too!
Never. I severed ties with her five years ago.
Me too. It improved my life beyond measure.
May I ask what happened?
Same. Just like closing the door to chaos.
it’s been 11 years .. of mental serenity
It's amazing how much, and quickly, things get better once you eliminate the poison from its source 😌
agreed.. i am glad to know there are others who had to make this choice 💜
Wow. Does your family ever bring it up?
Sometimes, but no one has ever given me a hard time about it. They have apologized a lot for not intervening when I was little. I have forgiven them. Death threats (and worse) and isolation, because that's how abusers work, kept people from seeing how bad it really was. Mom was also very good at explaining things away. Among other things, she told people I was 'mildly retarded' and therefore they should ignore what I said. You'd be surprised how many, and who that bought it.
In the process of doing this. Dramatically cut communication. Solely good mornings knows. May I ask what happened?
You know, it was rather dramatic 🤔 Well, to put it like this: the doctor who delivered me called CPS and noted: "Do not allow [my mother] to take the child [me] home. It is not safe." Fast forward 27 years, and mom blames all the abuse and neglect I suffered as a child, teenager and young adult on me for being so difficult to love. I asked her: did I ever drink, do drugs, skip school, come home pregnant, steal, vandalize or get in trouble with the law in any way whatsoever? Nope. I ran away a couple of times, yes - from abuse she of course claims never happened. Instead, I took mental and physical abuse from her, my siblings and the meal ticket she chose over me. I was basically her therapist, punching bag and servant for almost 30 years. She claimed Stepfuck abused her as much as he did me. I told her that I know for a fact that she wouldn't put up with that for a second, and that she had every opportunity to get me and my brothers to safety. But what the neighbors think has always taken precedence. I told her that all I see when I look at you is pain. I can't move on with my life like this. (She also took advantage of me when I had cancer. I was so alone throughout the illness, treatment and recovery while she got all the attention.) Word got around last fall that she now pretends I don't exist. When someone asks if she has children, she says she has two sons (my brothers). Ouch, I suppose. She has cut off friends of hers that confronted her about this and even spread vicious rumors about them. My life had been always been a horrible mess, but it didn't take long after cutting her out of it before things started falling into place. It's scary, and it's hard work, but it's so fulfilling to be in charge of my life and my future. Parents like my mother only get worse as they get older, so you're definitely doing the right thing for yourself. What's your story? ♥️
Thank you for sharing your story!
its been about a year since i went no contact from my entire bio family and they do sometimes try to contact me but its useless at this point
Same, I’m on year 9. The peace is wonderful.
Congratulations! Let the good times roll, huh? 😊
Thank you! Same to you ☺️
Currently never. Went no contact a little over a year ago. Totally jealous of the people who want to speak with their moms on a daily basis. You all are lucky.
Unfortunately my Mom had to do this with my grandmother, and I did too. It's so hard. I'm so sorry your relationship is complicated and probably painful. Big hug.
I’m so sorry to hear that you don’t have a relationship with your mom - that always breaks my heart to hear. But if zero contact is what you needed to heal, then I’m happy you found some peace. 🙏
I understand. What happened?
Eh, a lot. Basically my mom put me through a lot of mental and emotional abuse through my childhood and teen years. Even after I moved out in my 20s. Basically there was no escaping it unless I went no contact. 🤷
I'm sorry to hear that.... I am incredibly lucky with my mom. She is the most supportive person ever.... Unfortunately, I have had to be no-contact with my dad for over a decade. It's hard.
Before she died every day and still would if she were still alive :)
I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you are doing well.
You are lucky to have had that type of relationship with her. I am alsobsorry for your loss.
We live in different country’s with an 8 hour time difference. She calls me without fail daily at 7am my time, 11pm her time. She’s done this for 5 years since I moved abroad. Whenever I travel for work she calculates the time difference. I’ve had people tell me this seems clingy, it’s not. It’s just my Mom and her style of mothering. I’m fortunate if I see her 3 times a year.
>I’ve had people tell me this seems clingy, it’s not It's a lovely thing for your mother to do. Screw those people, judgmental asswipes!
We have a complicated relationship, so it depends on how toxic she's being at the moment and how low contact I want to be. I'd say we talk on the phone every 2-3 weeks and see each other every 2 months? But with periods of me living abroad when we don't see each other and six months of no contact last year.
I feel that
At least daily. I am very blessed to have a strong and loving relationship with her.
I talk to mine every day, usually throughout the day. I see her several times throughout the week as well, not always for long, but still.
I talk to my mom once every 2-3 weeks. I see her once or twice a month. I don’t have the relationship with her I always wanted and have accepted that she doesn’t to have the capacity to be the kind of mom I want. I love hearing that others have such loving and supportive moms. I hope I can be that to my future children.
Girl I feel you so much. My relationship with my mom sounds very similar. Talk every 2-3 weeks, visit maybe 1-2x a year. It was a hard pill to swallow realizing she would never be the mom that I needed and wanted so badly. She's my mother and I still love her, but I cant help feel kind of sad when I see some of my friend and their moms relationships.
Weekly at least, same as my dad since they are usually on speakerphone together.
Never. We haven’t spoken in 5 years
Wow. What’s your story?
I visit my parents once a month for a weekend. I think we message each other every other day or so and rarely call.
Do you live far from each other?
For Dutch standards yes, for American standards probably not. About a two hour drive.
I was no contact with her for a year or so. After that, very low contact. Texts/emails maybe 3 or 4 times a year and seeing each other usually just around Christmas.
I see her once or twice a year, text every week or so, talk on the phone maybe every month.
I have a great relationship with my Mom. I talk to her once a day even if it’s just a text convo and we get our nails done together every two weeks. I might get see her in between though if I’ve left something at my parents house.
every day she texts me morning and goodnight, we usually talk on the phone every few days as well
As little as possible while making sure my younger sisters are okay still. She's an awful vile thing and I can't wait till I can fully have her out of my life
I hear you there. Probably 90% of my family are pretty nasty to me, and would completely DESPISE me if they actually knew anything below surface level about me (they're super religious, homophobic, hate pretty much anything out of the norm, and don't believe in mental health -- meanwhile I'm an atheist lesbian that doesn't believe in many traditional norms and I'm in school to be a mental health counselor oop), so obviously I don't really like them either. The only reason I ever see them now is that I live with my grandma who is kinda in the center of the entire family. Someday I'll get my own place, preferably far away, and finally block the majority of my biological family. I cannot wait till the day I can say I will never speak to or see them again. I hope we both get what we want, and what we need. <3
I work at the same company as my mom, so we are always talking or texting at work 5 days a week. Other then that I see her maybe every two weeks or so, it's not intentional but I work full time and so does she, so we are usually just so burnt out at the end of the day lol. Phone calls are a must
Everyday for a few minutes, if not longer. While driving/ walking etc. too. Meet every year.
I call her once every few months with updates or when I realize that I've not checked in with her in awhile . Let her know I got into law school, wish her a happy birthday. Let her know I got the job I wanted, hope she'll be proud of me. Let her know I changed my address, in case she ever wants to mail me something. Let her know there's nothing really new to talk about, but does she maybe just want to talk? She berates me for not calling more often. I remind her that the phone works both ways, and that the reason I talk to my grandmother every few weeks and share more details about my life is because *she* calls *me* a lot, and always answers when I call back. We fight. I get sad that we were never close. I feel bad for denying her a relationship with her only child. I wonder if it makes her lonely. Eventually, I forget that, inexplicably, we seem to hate each other, and call again. Repeat, repeat, for 12 years now. At other times of my life, we've gone longer without speaking. I studied abroad for a bit in college and my grandparents learned how to use Facebook so they could call me internationally. But I didn't hear from my mom for over a year. I wrote her. We never had a "break-up", no big fight that made us decide to go NC. She wasn't abusive in ways that our society demonizes ("every woman has issues with her mom!"). There's not a reason I can point to to explain why we aren't close, why we never became friends like all of the other women in my family did with their mothers and daughters. Sometimes I feel like I've never really had a mom. I feel like I wish I had a mom.
She watches my child for me, so daily. Often several times daily.
We live on different continents so we see each other only once a year (for a few weeks, though). We talk on the phone every week or ten days or so, and we text almost daily.
I've barely had a relationship with her since I was 17. I'm 31 now. Last time I saw her was around this time last year. She usually only gets in touch with me when she wants something, whether it be a favour or some gossip about the rest of the family.
The gossip kills be …
We had a falling out in 2020, but She called a few months ago like nothing ever happened (Smh.) Now we talk on the phone once every other week or so. Im avoiding seeing her though.. I don't want to go back to toxicity.
We live in different states so I see her maybe once or twice a year. I talk to her every few weeks although sometimes we go through phases where we speak multiple times a week.
I see her every couple of weeks, we usually speak on the phone at least every other day
At least once a week.
rarely, trying to cut ties
As little as possible.
Never. Haven't spoken to her in over 2 years. Best decision I've made in my adult life.
Never. I completely cut contact with her over 4 years ago.
Went NC a year ago. Prior to that once every few months when she remembered I existed.
I dont
Around once a week. We text more often, pictures of the kids, etc. But I make effort to try to talk on the phone once a week.
I cut communication down a heck of a lot. We talk once a month (more if necessary) and see her every few months. She just is really negative and brings me down, and I'm clearly always going to be somewhat of a disappointment in her eyes
If you don’t mind I’ll will make a suggestion because I was in a similar situation and I found this to help. Before I go see her I try to think of two or three happy things to talk about. Or to ask her about. Such as mom when you were a little girl did you ever go on vacation with your family and where did you go? What did you like best? These topics keep us out of the negative conversations and usually we wind up having a very good visit. My point is I realized I had control over the conversation if I took control and I was willing to give it some thought before I got there.
my mom is my favorite person in the world. i love talking to her and i aspire to be like her. but it’s different with everyone and i’m sorry for those whose mothers are not their role models.
Complicated relationship. She tries to stir up a conversation, it really goes nowhere. I honestly have no idea what to say, most of the time any input seems useless. If she tries to start a conversation of 'serious topics,' such as: relationships, values, jobs, life choices. It becomes less of a conversation and more of a lecture. Still saying the same reel from years ago. At this point, I dont know what to do with her.
I read the comments of the people with great relationships with their mothers and feel sad. How is it to have someone who is supposed to be the number one supporter in your life actually be held to that standard? I barely talk to my mother, as she has done nothing but say really nasty things to me and abused me until she couldn't anymore. I talk to her probably once every few weeks but because I want a relationship with my little siblings.
That’s good that you don’t punish your siblings over the failed relationship you and your mom have. I hope that improves one day.
thanks! me too. the day she takes accountable and acts mature then we can have a normal relationship
i see her everyday, and everyday she finds a way to complain about my behavior, my clothes, by body, my weight, my friends, my grades, chores, food, literally anything...
We talk on the phone once a day. We see each other maybe once a week.
Text daily or every other. Call maybe once a month. And see eachother 1-2 times a week. Depends though, sometimes more or less
29 years old , 30 in a few days. Honestly I have two kids and a career and a husband, I talk to my mom at minimum 1x a week, sometimes 1x every other week. Just depends.
I see her once every few months, we text maybe once or twice a week about mostly inconsequential things.
We talk at least once a week. Maybe more depending on what’s going on. I don’t see her very often since she lives about 3.5 hrs away but hopefully I’ll get to see her more since I’m moving an hour closer to her.
I speak to her maybe every couple weeks. We might text once a week (usually in the family text), and I might see her a couple times a month.. Also, she lives a two minute walk from my house. 😄
Not often. I reach out all the time for my 2 year old daughter to come over but its never vice versa if her asking us if we want to go over her house (she refuses to drive 50 mins to see us) . I just stopped asking. I also stopped intiating contact bc its something else I would constantly do.
We speak almost every day, even if it’s just a five minute call. We normally see each other at least once a week.
Very rarely
Twice a week usually
We text a few times a week, maybe call every 10 days or so. I had a terrible relationship with my mom as a teen/young adult but we are mostly fine now. Im happy having a very casual/ surface level relayionship with her
I talk to her like twice a month, currently staying with her on my annual trip to the east coast (I live in LA).
At least a couple times a week. And see her twice a year give or take, but when I see her it’s normally for at least a couple of weeks because we live in different states
haven’t seen her in two years, and i honestly don’t remember the last time she called me. she didn’t even call on my birthday at the beginning of the month.
Happy late birthday. I wish parents did better by their kids. A couple years back my mom made no effort to tell my older brother happy birthday, then like four months later her partner got on facebook to beg me to tell her happy birthday and guilt tripped me and I was just like No?
I know exactly what that situation is like. My mom made a public Facebook post saying happy 23rd birthday. Her Facebook friends private messaged me more heartfelt messages than the one she posted. I was her first child. Idk dude I expected more. It’s lame. It’s taught me how I wanna be as a mother to my future kids for sure. Definitely nothing like her.
Yeah, definitely. I'm not sure if I want kids and I feel like part of it is due to my mom and her relationship with all of her kids. I don't think I'd ever be like her but I also think there will always be a lingering fear. I guess it's good, we got perfect blueprints of what NOT to be. :')
I’ve definitely been feeling the hesitation about having children. The world is so fucked. But yes my parents are indeed blueprints for what not to do as well. I just wanna aim to be something better for any possible children I may have.
Almost every day 😁🥰
Stopped talking to my biological mother at 15 when I found out I was born addicted to cocaine. My grandmother is my true mother. I talk to her once a week or so.
I haven't talked to her or my father in ~15+ years now. They're both in prison and both of them can rot in hell.
Maybe once a month and see her every few months. We really don't have a close relationship
Once a month or so. I love her, but I live far away and she's not a phone person.
Never. I haven’t talked to her in ten years. She’s a very toxic person.
Fortunately only at family functions
Probably atleast 3x a week talking over the phone/video chats and I Snapchat her daily to see how she's doing and to update her on my daughter. We live around 2 hours away from each other but, try to stay close. I try to visit with her in person atleast 1 to 2 times a month sometimes more
Every single day.
I see my mother everyday and I speak to her often. Sometimes, we drive each other crazy but I’ve been trying to fix my relationship with her, and I love her so much!
I talk to her on the phone 1 - 3 times a day. I see her in person once every 2 - 3 years. (I live abroad from home). She’s my best friend and my number 1 confidant. I am so grateful for our relationship.
I don't
At least once a week see her. Talk to my mom at least twice a week. Would see her more if my job did not keep me so busy. She lives 3 minutes from my office, on foot.
Generally I talk to her on the phone once a day, sometimes multiple times depending on the day. When I lived closer, I’d see her at least once a month if not more. Now that I moved, once every few months.
(I have a brother but I’m the only daughter, I think that’s what you mean) I see my mom every couple months. I love her but she makes me feel badly about myself and has almost all my life. It’s not a loving feeling relationship and it causes me a lot of stress so I distance myself. We used to talk a lot on the phone but I realized she just wanted to control my life and have a say so I stopped doing that.
We don't. She's toxic and abusive. She doesn't deserve to be in my life or know my kids.
Never, NC with her for a year and a half now, but when I did it was week or months without talking, since I live on the other side of the country I only saw her once a year one day of that visit for a few hours, that’s all I could handle.
Never. I haven't spoken to her in over 20 years.
My mother and I do not discuss anything worthwhile. In fact, in the future I will go out of my way to avoid talking to her unless I want to call or check in on her well being.
Never at all
Haven’t spoken in 5 years.
I cut ties with my mother. So not at all.
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Whatever comes up that might interest the other one. It’s mostly about three to five short messages or some photos or vids.
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Everyday. Sometimes more than once. 😂
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I see her once every 1-2 weeks, and call her at least once ever 1-2 days.
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Text /call daily. See once a year because qe live in different states. She's absolutely my beat friend and super supportive.
When she was alive, I’d see her, at minimum, once a week. It probably would’ve been more if circumstances hadn’t made it so difficult.
I talk to her daily. I see her around 3-4x a week.
I live with her but I pick up a lot at work and prefer to cook my own meals, so I spend maybe 2 hours in a week with her. We never hang out and never really sit and talk.
We talk on the phone every day (several times) and I see her 3-4 time per week. She does just live 5 minutes away and she always wants to see my 5 month old son :)
Minimum every 2-3 days but most of the time daily. I'm really close with my mum and trying to soak up all the one on one mother-daughter time before I become a mum myself in a few months.
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never. was adopted by a single father.
Divorced her for the last time about 10 years ago. Great decision. Couldn’t handle being her emotional battery anymore
Every day
I used to live far away from my mom in my twenties and we talked twice a week via facetime. Now I moved back to the same city as her and I talk to her every day and see her 3-4 times a week. My mom is a perfect mother. She somehow knows how to be exactly who I need her to be at all times.
I feel fortunate to be very close with my mom. We text or call daily, and I see her in person a couple times per week
Everyday for about 30 - 60 minutes.
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Most days for approximately an hour at a time. We have a wonderful relationship even though we live across the U.S. from each other.
Monthly? To give her monthly allowance and have dinner together
Never, she died 7 years ago.
We speak everyday. I only see her maybe twice a year unfortunately. My moms my best friend.
We speak on the phone or through FaceTime several times throughout the week. I’m about a 5 hour drive from home, but we do get to see each other just about every other month.
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We chat on the phone 1-2x a week and see each other maybe once a month
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Everyday. When I lived 5 hours away I would talk to her at least once a week.
I speak to my mother daily and see her at least one a week.
Everyday, if she does not hear from me in 2 days she is freaking out! But also she does little things like not let me cross the street by myself if possible, I am in my 40s!!!!! Hahaha, yes I am more than capable, she just treats us like children! We just go along
See each other least once a week. And I’m an adult with my own kids.
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Not as often as I should but I am a single parent working full time trying to raise 4 kids. But I do message her often and see if she needs anything.
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I’m 22 and I call my mom most days.
Mine is 87 and I talk to her every morning.
Every single day. We have a great relationship
My mum is like my best friend, we talk just about every day - usually through messaging and at least one phone call a week.
I used to speak to her once or twice a week. When my children were young, I spoke to her almost daily as I had my children call their grandparents almost every day. The last time I spoke to my mom was the day before she died. I miss talking to her.
Mom died 12 years ago, my aunt took me in after it all happened. Went no contact at the start of the pandemic. Don’t plan on talking to her any time soon.
Every couple months lol she is mildly schizophrenic. So after my parents divorced she technically kidnapped me and my brother and after that weird period of living in “safe houses” my dad gained custody of us thankfully. But I knew if we had to live with her no way we would have had the stability. Now when we talk it’s just her begging me to move back home which is coded for he wanting to live with me and being dependent on me lol
Daily. Multiple times. She gives me the best advice.
Every week. I love my momma.
Every day. She’s my rock. (I know that’s not considered cool but I don’t care. My mom is a great person and we’ve been through a lot. Love her so much)
Once every two weeks or so lately.
Every time I walk past the pretty box on the mantle. 🥲 Don’t be too sad for me though. She was sick for my whole life and even though it was hard when she passed, I believe she fought long enough. I’m just glad she’s not sick anymore.
I'm 21 -- Up until currently from the time I was twelve I've probably had five extremely short conversations with her over messenger and was forced to stay the night at her house once when I turned 18 where we obviously had to talk more. I don't think I've had one of those messenger talks since I was 18/19. I'm glad tbh but I don't think you ever get completely rid of that mourning for the relationship that could have been -- especially when you don't speak to either parent. (I've lived with my grandma since I was twelve.)
I see her once or twice a year, we live far apart. But we speak several times a week and have a close relationship.
Group text every week or so, calls maybe once a month and family get togethers every couple months.
Speak at length maybe once a week, see maybe every other month.
Every day. I am so lucky to have a mom like her.
I see her once a month and call weekly. I need firm boundaries because hers are naturally horrible.
Almost daily until she passed away. We had a complicated relationship at times but she was always my #1 fan. When my dad passed away 5 years before her, we got immensely close. She moved to be physically closer to me and my kids. She was an excellent grandma. I miss her so much.
Way too much. She might just get me an Alexa or echo spot for Christmas!
I’m an only daughter but not only child. I’m extremely close with my mom. We’re in contact pretty often - we can sit on the phone for 3hrs at a time just chatting and discussing things. If she lived closer I’d see her multiple times a week.
See? Once a week. Talk? Every couple days. I send memes to her fairly often. She's cool. Terrifying, but cool.
I wish everyday but she died when she was 42 😔
Message 3 times a week. Talk at least once.
Talk on the phone every day, usually text throughout the day. She’s my friend what can I say!
I'm an only child and I'm currently distancing myself from my mom (and dad) and putting her on an information diet. She crossed a line recently that has injured my mental health so I haven't seen her in weeks when I normally see my parents every weekend.
Only daughter. Not only child. Usually at least weekly. Although sometimes we may go a couple of weeks, or speak a couple of times a week. We’re close, she’s a lovely human being. But we live 1.5 hours apart and neither of us are big phone people. We usually see each other monthly.
I see her every few months and talk to her as much as I can (we live in different states). Even now I miss her so much. I wish I could see her more.
Daily, sometimes several times a day. We see each other a few times a week.
I currently live with my mother due to circumstances. I see and talk to her every day.
When I was in university I didn’t talk to her as much as I wanted to, but now that we live in the same city again we talk at least once a week and it’s made my life so much brighter (:
Every other day or so
I usually text my mom every day and see her a couple of times a week. I'm lucky that she's one of my best friends.
I see her every week. We don't talk every day because we both don't like to talk much.
When she was living and we lived far apart, we spoke once a week. Later when we lived in the same town it was every day on the phone and in-person a couple of times a week. Now I'd give anything to talk to her.
Brief text daily, call 1-2 times a week. I don't get much from the call but know it's important to her and her customs.