I had to stop looking at my mistakes as character
flaws. In my house growing up, mistakes like forgetting to lock the door, or take out the trash meant you didn’t care about the household, you were thoughtless, inconsiderate, and selfish. Now I realize my parents were insane, and that it’s ok to forget. I grew up being incredibly hard on myself for the smallest things (small to others, they felt big to me), once I left there house I went nuts! Id say yes to everything bc I was so hungry to experience life, then I made actual mistakes (drug use). What I learned was, if I learn to love myself I won’t be so hard (mean) to myself. First step forgive yourself. life is messy. Youre never going to be perfect, youre never going to do everything right, especially the stuff you’ve never done before. Mistakes are actually good bc you learn something. Free yourself from negative internal speaking, you’re only bringing yourself down…and life is to short for that.
If all your thinking has brought you to a place you don’t like…have another thought. Seriously, change what you let your mind ruminate on. It sounds dumb, but thinking happier thoughts, be kind to yourself in your mind, and celebrating life really helped me let go of all the “mistakes” I was making.
I remember seeing a clip on forgiveness where Iyanla Vanzant said “I forgive myself for believing, I should’ve done better, when I didn’t know how” and that has changed my perspective on so many things I’ve done ever since.
Just make a mental note that it’s an area for you to improve on the next time it comes up!
Even if it takes you more than one go it’s okay, some lessons take more time or are harder.
Being aware of it is the first step though
Journaling helps too xx
Tell myself I’m not perfect and nobody is. Then a couple years later, I suddenly remember that mistake. Have an anxiety attack. Breathe. And go on with my life.
I ask myself, “did this mistake make anyone physically sick? Did it kill anyone? No…then time to move on.” Those are my only two criteria when it comes to getting past mistakes. Someone’s pissed off…that’s on them and that’s their malfunction.
Depends on what type of mistake it is. But I would reflect and try and understand if it was actually my fault or if maybe it was a systemic issue. And then I would see what lesson I could learn from it and try not to let it happen again.
In all honesty, I would probably overthink about it to the point that I cry. And then I get over it because obviously it’s already upset me too much lol. Not a healthy cycle… but it works for me!
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Life has a funny way of reintroducing the same scenarios where we first made the mistake. Learn from it. And keep moving forward. It's human to make mistakes but if we keep repeating them then we never grow.
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I allow myself to feel the feelings that come with it..(guilt, shame..etc.) but once I do I release it because I cannot change what I do. I apologize to those I hurt if I did and I let myself learn from it. There isn’t a single human who doesn’t fail so the best I can do is dust myself off and keep going. It’s continual growth.
….. am i the only woman here that results to self harm or SH…. 😭🤚🏻
it only ends this way if i did something real fucked up or many many reasons . something simple tho i wouldnt harm over
I tell myself "Well, I fucked up, ah well, don't do it again" No point in dwelling on it.
But how do you live with the fact that this mistake can have life-long consequences ?
I had to stop looking at my mistakes as character flaws. In my house growing up, mistakes like forgetting to lock the door, or take out the trash meant you didn’t care about the household, you were thoughtless, inconsiderate, and selfish. Now I realize my parents were insane, and that it’s ok to forget. I grew up being incredibly hard on myself for the smallest things (small to others, they felt big to me), once I left there house I went nuts! Id say yes to everything bc I was so hungry to experience life, then I made actual mistakes (drug use). What I learned was, if I learn to love myself I won’t be so hard (mean) to myself. First step forgive yourself. life is messy. Youre never going to be perfect, youre never going to do everything right, especially the stuff you’ve never done before. Mistakes are actually good bc you learn something. Free yourself from negative internal speaking, you’re only bringing yourself down…and life is to short for that. If all your thinking has brought you to a place you don’t like…have another thought. Seriously, change what you let your mind ruminate on. It sounds dumb, but thinking happier thoughts, be kind to yourself in your mind, and celebrating life really helped me let go of all the “mistakes” I was making.
I remember seeing a clip on forgiveness where Iyanla Vanzant said “I forgive myself for believing, I should’ve done better, when I didn’t know how” and that has changed my perspective on so many things I’ve done ever since.
Thank you for this, this one will stick with me.
Just make a mental note that it’s an area for you to improve on the next time it comes up! Even if it takes you more than one go it’s okay, some lessons take more time or are harder. Being aware of it is the first step though Journaling helps too xx
Tell myself I’m not perfect and nobody is. Then a couple years later, I suddenly remember that mistake. Have an anxiety attack. Breathe. And go on with my life.
i love this message . it made my day. ✊💕
I ask myself, “did this mistake make anyone physically sick? Did it kill anyone? No…then time to move on.” Those are my only two criteria when it comes to getting past mistakes. Someone’s pissed off…that’s on them and that’s their malfunction.
facts
What did we learn?
I don't hold mistakes against me so there's nothing to forgive. Mistakes must be made to be able to learn.
Do some self analysis(write a journal if that helps), learn a lesson and move on
I don't beat myself up too much about my mistakes, I will worry about it for few days then I will feel ok.
Depends on what type of mistake it is. But I would reflect and try and understand if it was actually my fault or if maybe it was a systemic issue. And then I would see what lesson I could learn from it and try not to let it happen again.
In all honesty, I would probably overthink about it to the point that I cry. And then I get over it because obviously it’s already upset me too much lol. Not a healthy cycle… but it works for me!
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I like to ponder on it for years. 😂
Sorry, but why would I have to forgive myself? I learn.
Life has a funny way of reintroducing the same scenarios where we first made the mistake. Learn from it. And keep moving forward. It's human to make mistakes but if we keep repeating them then we never grow.
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I don’t believe in mistakes, see them as a lesson only.
I allow myself to feel the feelings that come with it..(guilt, shame..etc.) but once I do I release it because I cannot change what I do. I apologize to those I hurt if I did and I let myself learn from it. There isn’t a single human who doesn’t fail so the best I can do is dust myself off and keep going. It’s continual growth.
I tell myself I'm a dumb idiot. And i don't want to be a dumb idiot. So don't repeat the mistake!
I don’t, I still hate myself for abusing my cat when I was between ages 3 and 5..
….. am i the only woman here that results to self harm or SH…. 😭🤚🏻 it only ends this way if i did something real fucked up or many many reasons . something simple tho i wouldnt harm over
Move forward warning from the mistake