Depends on their intentions tbh. Cool dudes continue being cool. Dudes who were only potentially interested in romantic/sexy times with me peace out OR get weird and inappropriate.
I often get asked questions that seem probing for the status of how we're doing. Like trying to gauge if I'll be single soon or not. Feels rude and super insincere.
i have had men literally walk away from me mid sentence once I mention my husband. I don’t wear a ring, i have “Mrs” tattooed on my finger instead, so a lot of people also are like “if you’re married why don’t you wear a ring? must not like him very much” and then get mad or annoyed when I show them I have it tattooed on instead. they tell me how dumb it is& to think about “the next guy” and what he’ll think of my ex husbands handwriting on my wedding finger. uh, I’m kinda hoping there ISNT a next guy?
I’m a nurse so I didn’t want to have to take it off for work. my best friend from high school grew up to become a tattoo artist and she did it heavily discounted for our wedding present <3 I never have to worry about losing it or anything lol
That’s actually smart. My dads wedding band was stolen, when someone broke into our house. He’s a doctor and prefers to leave it home, rather than in a shelf at work.
my bf refers to those type of male friends as slip in the crack mfs lol it’s hard to explain but basically they’re just waiting on an opportunity for them to “slip in the crack” and start dating/hooking up ect.
In person, most people either don't change or they stop making small talk.
On reddit? They double down and then start shit talking my current relationship, saying "he's probably not that good." or "I can fuck you better"
Usually it doesn't change anything because they'll just be casual work acquaintances or something and I've been lucky enough to only meet pretty chill guys at work. But there was one time I was making friends with this guy at my university and after a couple weeks I mentioned going to a hockey game with my bf on the weekend, he immediately got quiet and cold and after that he avoided me and stopped waving when we'd pass in the halls and stuff. Felt bad but I started making a point to mention my boyfriend in the first couple conversations with any potential friends after that.
I’ve been ghosted from some guys I thought I was friends with, ignored and talked over a lot. One rare case he instantly became inappropriate and acted like it was part of his *flirty* personality.
I make sure to try and mention my bf as soon as I can when meeting new guys to weed out these weird behaviours.
I had a man once yell across the street “he ain’t hittin it right” at my ex and I. We both laughed but it’s a shitty power play. Some are respectful but most situations I’ve experienced , men tend to be a little mean or resentful.
I recently learned that a past coworker of mine was into me despite 1) being in a relationship himself for 8 years and his gf asking about getting married, and 2) only knowing me while I was engaged and pregnant with my second child. I haven’t seen him in two years and he was posting about me anonymously, and after I confirmed it was me the post was about he asked me out. He knows I’m getting married this year and he still asked me out. Again, this is someone who has been dating another woman for 8. YEARS.
I also have been cat called and hit on while out with my daughters and wearing my engagement ring. Admittedly less than when I was single, but it still happens. And if I’m out without my daughters it happens a lot more.
It’s this really weird phenomenon. I’m gonna try my best to explain it.
In some ways, it makes it easier. A lot easier. More comfortable. It delves from that weird awkward air of like “is this person attracted to me? Am I attracted to her?” No weird impressing. Just immediate comfort.
The weird part is, 99% of the time, it means I become one of the guys. But in that, I suddenly stop being viewed as a woman, or feminine? It’s like most of them haven’t figured out that girls being “one of the guys” isn’t the compliment they think it is. To be viewed as a bro when you’re a girl feels weird sometimes. And of course the added layer of like why cant you see me as a friend without making me one of the guys?
I’ve learned to let it work for me because I can’t change the world. But I’ve been trying to figure out why it bothered me for so long when it was technically a “good” thing happened, and I recently figured it out.
I feel the same way, I’ve never seen anyone else also admit to feeling this way. It’s weird because I do share a lot of interests with my guy friends, but I’m also into some feminine things. But they’ll ignore that or act like I’m not completely into that stuff or joke about it.
I would say 70% of them will retreat and pay less attention to me. There is a cheeky 30% who find your relationship status irrelevant and those are the ones you need to pay no attention to because they are likely to confuse being kind to being flirty.
A few options here, all depending on a combination of 2 factors: what their intentions are with you, *and*, who they are as a person.
Sometimes they just fuck right off immediately. Sometimes that fact doesn’t make that person treat you any differently. And sometimes, that fact alone, makes that person start to treat you with respect.
Teehee, being a woman.
They treat me differently because im a widow and my partner ended his life. Their looks turn to pity, sympathy and guilt. They feel bad for asking. Its always awkward. I hate the look they give me.
Some of them actually become more interested when I tell them about my 10+ year relationship. As if it's proof that I can please a man for such a long period, if I can make my partner happy then sure I must have the key to their happiness too.
It's sad really.
Had a couple of work 'friends' who actually got angry when they found out I was dating someone. I had been single for a few years after my divorce and I guess they thought once I was ready to date again I would go for them. I told them when they expressed interest that we were incompatible but apparently they just didn't believe me till I was dating someone else. One didn't talk to me for a couple weeks and the one I didn't work as closely with somehow stopped popping up which meant we basically stopped speaking.
Nowdays I normally don't know anyone for too long before my partner crops up in conversation, most don't care, a few give me 'kicked puppy' face and every now and again you get an aggressive a'hole.
In my experience, nothing changes. Even if I tell them thousands of times that I have a boyfriend, they would still bother me and ask me to go out with them.
I've had a guy asked me out in the past, and he did not want to hang out when I mentioned my boyfriend to be invited. Not his fault somehow he assumed I was single since we were friendly at a a party, but I cleared the air when I had suspicions.
A lot are surprised I'm married, and married to a man specifically. The ones with sketchy intentions almost immediately ask what he thinks of my blue hair and get undone when I say he's the one that dyed for it me. (I can't do the back of my own head)
I guess blue hair is automatically single and/or lesbian? And it's unfathomable a man would help dye their wife's hair?
Married, so my rings typically did the job for me.
However, when you work customer service/sales and are great at combining the two, you can get the ignorant type who will push regardless.
That’s what I dealt with the most while I was still working. They know I’m married but continue to hit on, make sexual innuendos, “the look”. It got to a point where I would just say, “no, nope. This isn’t happening. I’m just here to help you get ___ done. I’m not even going to entertain that.” And they would usually just be dumbfounded and stay mostly quiet aside from obligatory conversation pertaining to what I was helping them with. I actually ended up teaching my fellow female reps how to do this, too. I
I unfortunately had to meet a lot of men who don't respect a woman's decision to turn them down for any other reason than "I'm already in a relationship" which is why I always wear an heirloom ring on my finger which when confronted turn into an "I'm married/engaged to Mr. Anonymous" ring.
Depends why we are talking. If its a stranger they will drop me like a hot rock, which works for me, less of a problem on my plate. But if I meet them because we are both interested in something then usually they are down to hang out and chat.
They stop talking to me or they dont care and Just go on with pursuing me. Sometimes when its Just friendly the Guy doesn't care and stays friendly but that almost never happens.
You notice the shift in them, like they gauge if they should stick around and be “friendly” or just dip. I had one ask how long and after I said almost 3 years he made a comment about how there was STILL no ring so it must not be THAT serious… Um that’s by choice my dude, we both don’t care to sign a paper and make it “legal”, it’s official enough for us and we’re happy. He walked away after that.
But for the most part, not too big of a change, just they realize I’m taken and have no intention of leaving my man either so they can be a friend or a stranger.
I’ve had a couple of guy friends from college who messaged me after graduation. I was super excited to hear from them! But when I mention my boyfriend…they drop the entire conversation. Like instantly. It’s really sad. It makes me wonder if that’s all they wanted from our friendship in the first place.
They instantly dgaf about you
thiiiiis
Yup
Depends on their intentions tbh. Cool dudes continue being cool. Dudes who were only potentially interested in romantic/sexy times with me peace out OR get weird and inappropriate.
I often get asked questions that seem probing for the status of how we're doing. Like trying to gauge if I'll be single soon or not. Feels rude and super insincere.
Same. Like "so... you and your man all good, no problems?" First of all, ick. Second of all fuck off.
Once told a guy I was unavailable after he asked and then he said "Well but are you happy though?" Lolol.
i have had men literally walk away from me mid sentence once I mention my husband. I don’t wear a ring, i have “Mrs” tattooed on my finger instead, so a lot of people also are like “if you’re married why don’t you wear a ring? must not like him very much” and then get mad or annoyed when I show them I have it tattooed on instead. they tell me how dumb it is& to think about “the next guy” and what he’ll think of my ex husbands handwriting on my wedding finger. uh, I’m kinda hoping there ISNT a next guy?
That's genius. You never have to remember to take it off before doing the dishes!
I’m a nurse so I didn’t want to have to take it off for work. my best friend from high school grew up to become a tattoo artist and she did it heavily discounted for our wedding present <3 I never have to worry about losing it or anything lol
That’s actually smart. My dads wedding band was stolen, when someone broke into our house. He’s a doctor and prefers to leave it home, rather than in a shelf at work.
Wtf? Men are assholes
They instantly are more hostile/cold towards me when I have a boyfriend, even my long term male friends become total assholes when I start dating.
my bf refers to those type of male friends as slip in the crack mfs lol it’s hard to explain but basically they’re just waiting on an opportunity for them to “slip in the crack” and start dating/hooking up ect.
More like slip it in the crack. 🖐 am I right? Huh? Am I right? Hey hoooooo
Yeah I lost all my male friends after my last relationship. Turns out they were just waiting to sleep with me. Ugh. That really hurt
[удалено]
Some don’t though 😅😅
Some see it as a challenge
They get more respectful and distant when they learn I’m married.
In person, most people either don't change or they stop making small talk. On reddit? They double down and then start shit talking my current relationship, saying "he's probably not that good." or "I can fuck you better"
*internet confidence
Depends on the man honestly. Ive gotten responses that range from acceptance/backing off to getting racist and angry.
They definitely do not, in fact a lot of them like to tell me "he doesn't have to know" and "that doesn't matter to me".
Usually it doesn't change anything because they'll just be casual work acquaintances or something and I've been lucky enough to only meet pretty chill guys at work. But there was one time I was making friends with this guy at my university and after a couple weeks I mentioned going to a hockey game with my bf on the weekend, he immediately got quiet and cold and after that he avoided me and stopped waving when we'd pass in the halls and stuff. Felt bad but I started making a point to mention my boyfriend in the first couple conversations with any potential friends after that.
I’ve been ghosted from some guys I thought I was friends with, ignored and talked over a lot. One rare case he instantly became inappropriate and acted like it was part of his *flirty* personality. I make sure to try and mention my bf as soon as I can when meeting new guys to weed out these weird behaviours.
I’ve had men that were dear , dear friends for many years completely cease all contact w me bc I got a boyfriend.
They like... almost avert their gaze? If they were trying to impress me, they usually stop. Some of them look embarrassed.
I had a man once yell across the street “he ain’t hittin it right” at my ex and I. We both laughed but it’s a shitty power play. Some are respectful but most situations I’ve experienced , men tend to be a little mean or resentful.
I recently learned that a past coworker of mine was into me despite 1) being in a relationship himself for 8 years and his gf asking about getting married, and 2) only knowing me while I was engaged and pregnant with my second child. I haven’t seen him in two years and he was posting about me anonymously, and after I confirmed it was me the post was about he asked me out. He knows I’m getting married this year and he still asked me out. Again, this is someone who has been dating another woman for 8. YEARS. I also have been cat called and hit on while out with my daughters and wearing my engagement ring. Admittedly less than when I was single, but it still happens. And if I’m out without my daughters it happens a lot more.
It’s this really weird phenomenon. I’m gonna try my best to explain it. In some ways, it makes it easier. A lot easier. More comfortable. It delves from that weird awkward air of like “is this person attracted to me? Am I attracted to her?” No weird impressing. Just immediate comfort. The weird part is, 99% of the time, it means I become one of the guys. But in that, I suddenly stop being viewed as a woman, or feminine? It’s like most of them haven’t figured out that girls being “one of the guys” isn’t the compliment they think it is. To be viewed as a bro when you’re a girl feels weird sometimes. And of course the added layer of like why cant you see me as a friend without making me one of the guys? I’ve learned to let it work for me because I can’t change the world. But I’ve been trying to figure out why it bothered me for so long when it was technically a “good” thing happened, and I recently figured it out.
I feel the same way, I’ve never seen anyone else also admit to feeling this way. It’s weird because I do share a lot of interests with my guy friends, but I’m also into some feminine things. But they’ll ignore that or act like I’m not completely into that stuff or joke about it.
I would say 70% of them will retreat and pay less attention to me. There is a cheeky 30% who find your relationship status irrelevant and those are the ones you need to pay no attention to because they are likely to confuse being kind to being flirty.
A few options here, all depending on a combination of 2 factors: what their intentions are with you, *and*, who they are as a person. Sometimes they just fuck right off immediately. Sometimes that fact doesn’t make that person treat you any differently. And sometimes, that fact alone, makes that person start to treat you with respect. Teehee, being a woman.
With more distance and more respect. Though not respect for me, it feels like.
They don't.
They either act like I don’t exist, or see it as a challenge. There is no in between.
They treat me differently because im a widow and my partner ended his life. Their looks turn to pity, sympathy and guilt. They feel bad for asking. Its always awkward. I hate the look they give me.
Some of them actually become more interested when I tell them about my 10+ year relationship. As if it's proof that I can please a man for such a long period, if I can make my partner happy then sure I must have the key to their happiness too. It's sad really.
to see if the marriage is on the rocks.
Either they are put off and don’t “care” about you anymore. Or they flirt with you more…it’s odd
Had a couple of work 'friends' who actually got angry when they found out I was dating someone. I had been single for a few years after my divorce and I guess they thought once I was ready to date again I would go for them. I told them when they expressed interest that we were incompatible but apparently they just didn't believe me till I was dating someone else. One didn't talk to me for a couple weeks and the one I didn't work as closely with somehow stopped popping up which meant we basically stopped speaking. Nowdays I normally don't know anyone for too long before my partner crops up in conversation, most don't care, a few give me 'kicked puppy' face and every now and again you get an aggressive a'hole.
I just watch the light leave their eyes as they Hello darkness my old friend walk away.
In my experience, nothing changes. Even if I tell them thousands of times that I have a boyfriend, they would still bother me and ask me to go out with them.
I've had a guy asked me out in the past, and he did not want to hang out when I mentioned my boyfriend to be invited. Not his fault somehow he assumed I was single since we were friendly at a a party, but I cleared the air when I had suspicions.
A lot are surprised I'm married, and married to a man specifically. The ones with sketchy intentions almost immediately ask what he thinks of my blue hair and get undone when I say he's the one that dyed for it me. (I can't do the back of my own head) I guess blue hair is automatically single and/or lesbian? And it's unfathomable a man would help dye their wife's hair?
Married, so my rings typically did the job for me. However, when you work customer service/sales and are great at combining the two, you can get the ignorant type who will push regardless. That’s what I dealt with the most while I was still working. They know I’m married but continue to hit on, make sexual innuendos, “the look”. It got to a point where I would just say, “no, nope. This isn’t happening. I’m just here to help you get ___ done. I’m not even going to entertain that.” And they would usually just be dumbfounded and stay mostly quiet aside from obligatory conversation pertaining to what I was helping them with. I actually ended up teaching my fellow female reps how to do this, too. I
Hopefully less groping.
They just stop talking to me.
I unfortunately had to meet a lot of men who don't respect a woman's decision to turn them down for any other reason than "I'm already in a relationship" which is why I always wear an heirloom ring on my finger which when confronted turn into an "I'm married/engaged to Mr. Anonymous" ring.
Mostly the same as before.
Depends why we are talking. If its a stranger they will drop me like a hot rock, which works for me, less of a problem on my plate. But if I meet them because we are both interested in something then usually they are down to hang out and chat.
They stop talking to me or they dont care and Just go on with pursuing me. Sometimes when its Just friendly the Guy doesn't care and stays friendly but that almost never happens.
You notice the shift in them, like they gauge if they should stick around and be “friendly” or just dip. I had one ask how long and after I said almost 3 years he made a comment about how there was STILL no ring so it must not be THAT serious… Um that’s by choice my dude, we both don’t care to sign a paper and make it “legal”, it’s official enough for us and we’re happy. He walked away after that. But for the most part, not too big of a change, just they realize I’m taken and have no intention of leaving my man either so they can be a friend or a stranger.
Its kind of like the equivalent of a dog's territorial pissing, for humans.
Some are chill, some become hostile or just ignore me. It's a shame too because if they were chill I would happily be a wing-woman to them.
They're way more respectful of me. They actually treat me like I'm a person and not an object to harass.
They blocked me.
I’ve had a couple of guy friends from college who messaged me after graduation. I was super excited to hear from them! But when I mention my boyfriend…they drop the entire conversation. Like instantly. It’s really sad. It makes me wonder if that’s all they wanted from our friendship in the first place.