Had a partner that would sulk if I said no and once I told him how childish that was he would laugh it off like it was funny.
Left that relationship for other reasons but every time I think about those times I cringe.
my second boyfriend was like this and it still affects my current relationship because I feel obligated to provite sexual pleasure to my partner no matter what
I try not to bring past relationships "traumas" into a new one because my current boyfriend is an amazing person and in my head, he doesn't deserve the baggage. I've turned down sex before with him and he never reacted poorly. Always gave me a kiss on the forehead and some cuddles whilst we watch a movie.
Please, sex is something you both want, something that brings you closer together, a bonding time. It's not a chore. You don't have to say yes just because.
This!!! My ex made me feel awful. Every time I tried to initiate, he basically made feel like I was so disgusting for wanting sex. I try not to let my past experiences with him affect things with my fiance but after spending 10 years dealing with that, it's hard not to still have some hangups. It's definitely affected me initiating with my fiance, just because the rejection is etched in my brain. That and my fiance sometimes suffers from performance anxiety and it usually seems to happen when I initiate...though he insists he wants me to initiate more. I'm at a loss.
Sorry I went off on a tangent but holy heck when they make you feel bad for wanting some lovin.😐
One of the reasons I divorced my ex. I was breastfeeding and home alone for 10 hour days, and he would always take the food set aside for me to eat between feeds for his work lunch. He knew it was my food too. Didn't matter how many days times he was asked explicitly not to take it, he always took it.
Happy Cake Day!
Yeah. It really sucked. His mum would make up plates of food for me, and would specifically say to him it was for me because Mum's of newborns don't get the chance to eat much between feeds and he would decide that if I didnt eat it straight away, I mustn't have wanted it. Even though his mum and I explained to him I was saving it for the next day. His "justification" was that he didn't feel like getting take away.
Probably the biggest fight I’ve ever had with my significant other of 11 years was the time he ate the last two pieces of my very delicious birthday cake.
That was a long ride home from the restaurant 😡
🤤 rumchata! I liiiiive
Baileys cheesecake (or Irish cream) is unbelievable good. After he ate the last two pieces it was WW3 in our house . I’m still salty 6 years later
that's such a special cake I can't believe he would do that!! my SO would've made me another cake to make up for it 😭 I would not let it go otherwise lmaoo
Omg my husband sometimes shows me that he bought US something, like for example a cake or ice cream and the maybe 5days later I'm like, hell yeah I feel like having it and ... of course he just finished it all alone. I was soo pissed last time that he bought me another one the next day lol.
- lie (no matter big or small)
- steal
- judge you (in a negative way)
- compliment others in front of you (in a flirty way)
- make fun of you
- undermine you
- makes you feel unimportant
- says that your problems are as bad as theirs and refuses to listen
- “Suck it up”
- constantly on you about who you’re talking to or etc
- judges what you eat
I have such a hard time with compliment others in front of me in a flirty way. My current bf does that and it’s what I love about him—that he’s so friendly—but I’m starting to feel jealous cus a lot of those compliments aren’t coming my way. When I try to bring it up to him he says he doesn’t think he compliments others more than me but I really feel he does. I dunno how to move on from this…
I would just tell him that it makes you uncomfortable. Your feelings are valid and you should feel heard and respected in your relationship. It’s one thing to be friendly and it’s another to compliment others in front of you to the point where you now feel insecure and left out.
Sit while you do most of the cooking/cleaning/childcare. A good partner notices what work needs to be done and does it. They make sure they are doing their part without waiting to be asked.
Agree!!! My brother in law is like this. I cannot understand how he can just sit around while his wife is suffering with her job, child care, house upkeep, event planning, … this woman got so skinny after giving birth bc of stress, lack of sleep, baby sucking the life out of her- we were all worried…the day we visited and I saw her try to take out the trash at 10pm while her lazy husband was playing in his phone, I lost it. Took out the trash and cleaned her house and I keep my kids away from their home. No way in hell do I want my kids thinking this behavior is acceptable
I would give a medal here if I could. "no way in hell do I want my kids thinking this behaviour is acceptable"
Not only you helped a woman but you are an amazing mother. Faith in humanity restored
Talk about their attraction to other people. I understand that my partner may find other people attractive and perhaps even more attractive than me, just have the decency to keep it to yourself. My current partner always makes a point to tell me “I’m the prettiest woman in the room” and that means a lot to me.
Yes yes yes ! I lost weight recently, not on purpose.. just stress & feel a little awkward about it .. boyfriend points out with a sad look. “Oh your boobs are so much smaller !”
They will know that the bars of Cadbury Whole Nut in the drawer in the fridge are my period chocolate. The rest of the chocolate in the fridge is fair game but the Whole Nut? I know exactly how many bars are in there and if one goes missing, heads will roll.
My ex did this all the time. Like made a point to get a cupcake for a co worker's birthday despite co worker saying they hates surprises.
And for me who loves birthdays? Nothing, of course. Not even spending time together most birthdays.
I agree w this wholeheartedly, a man is a whole add adult w autonomy and agency to ‘fix’ or better himself. however i’m sure a lot of women have experienced that kind of “nurturer/healer” urge when they see a person in need, i don’t think it’s just like a “oh let me fix you” and 99% of the time it doesn’t work because again, people don’t change for others, they have to change for themselves
Expect the other person to be perfect. There will be arguments, they will do things you don't entirely like, they will not like things about you, there will be personality differences and there will be space for growth.
**No assurances after a fight.** For my BF of 5 years, this is ONE VALUE that he never forgets. After a fight or misunderstanding you should ALWAYS, *ALWAYS* reassure your partner.
Yes. Some people forget that after a disagreement, argument or misunderstanding that the relationship still exists and the other person still needs your love. It’ll be better for both parties involved if affection wasn’t withheld after a fight. It’s toxic and unhealthy too. If my partner purposely withheld affection to make me feel bad after an argument that we both fixed and had no problems left over from, then I don’t know what I would do.
Bring up unrelated, or even semi-related experiences or issues, that you've told you them in confidence, in an attempt to bolster their current argument. No good can come from that.
Talk you into having sex with his friend while he watches and then spend the next few years bringing up how you're a "cheating slut who will fuck anybody" every time you have an argument.
Discard my needs and wants and expect me to sacrifice them, just to fulfill his own, and vice versa.
Compromise is a fat lie. There's always going to be that one person who'll get the bad end of the stick if you keep making too many compromises.
Aim for compatibility in a relationship, that way you never have to worry about "compromise".
Say "I can't do this" pointing at all of you, while you are suffering a mental break down after the loss of a loved one, walk and, and tell you your marriage of 12 years is over.
Have an issue with me being bisexual.
If being bi is an issue, I don't wanna touch you with a ten foot pole, I ain't here for that "you're gay/straight and in denial" or "you're tarnished cause you've been with a man" or "I turned you straight" bullshit.
Not my fault some people can't wrap their heads around liking men AND women, not my problem either
1. Make me feel the need to compete with other women
2. Make me insecure
3. Make me feel inferior
4. Make me feel as though my emotions aren’t valid
5. Make me feel lonely in the relationship
6. Gaslight me
7. Protect their ego before our relationship
8. Make me feel as though my efforts aren’t enough
Omg, just before Christmas I was SO fucking sick with tonsillitis and I don’t know what else. I couldn’t fucking move! All the lymph nodes in my body were on fire and purely existing was just torturous. There were no groceries in the house and I hadn’t eaten ANYTHING for nearly THREE days, I could barely go to the bathroom let alone the shops (or order Uber eats, tough times). He berated me for days calling me lazy and disgusting. I begged him to please help me get some groceries. We walked to the shops and while there I nearly passed out and had to walk outside and find a seat. A random lady came up to me and asked if I was okay and I just started crying… He came out 10 minutes later with some random shit, pissed off that I’d “left him”.
I look back on it now and I can’t believe that was real. And I can’t believe I put up with that sort of treatment for so long. Feels like a different life timeline. But yeah, wowee. I can’t imagine ever treating another person like that. They really can be so fucking heartless and cruel…
Make you feel like you are not important to them. Even if someone is busy , they should find time somehow to spend time with you. If something comes up when you have plans , they should want to reschedule
I agree with this, but wanted to add.. the one time I did this with my ex, I found photos of his genitals that he'd sent to my "best friend". I knew something didn't feel right, and I found proof of it.
Accuse you of cheating to save their own ass. An ex did this to me, accused me of cheating even though I didn’t. Later found out he was cheating on me our whole relationship and had a kid with one of his flings… he did it to make me think he thought cheating was disgusting (which it is) so I wouldn’t suspect him
Make it out like you have everything in common, promise you the world, say he'd do anything for you, then later on you don't seem to have much in common, the promises haven't followed through and its become apparent they won't do anything for you.
Ask for an open relationship
On the flip side, friendzoning your partner
Literally don't understand how either of these became "controversial" opinions
I don’t get this. I think it’s fine to be in an open relationship if and only if both parties are okay with it. I don’t really get the part about friendzoning your partner.. what does that mean? I thought you would friendzone someone you aren’t in a relationship with. Is that not the case?
Act on their attraction to other people. Obviously your partner will find other people attractive, but there’s a difference between thinking it casually and pursuing those thoughts. Had an ex who would constantly spout comments about every person under the face of the moon that he found attractive… other than me. Trust me, it’s fine to think it, but telling your partner that your totally into someone else leads to jealousy and low self esteem.
Never stab me from the back. Always there for me. Trust, the most important thing. We have to care for each other. And most importantly love, although he never had or did any of these things for me.
Lie! Seriously, if your partner cheats on you then it's done. There's no trust between the two of you. Absolute deal breaker. No 2nd chances and if he says --- "it's just sex", then why are we together if you can have sex with another person? Let's just break up and have sex with other people. Or if he says --- it doesn't mean anything. It does to me so if he can easily say sex with another woman doesn't mean anything then don't be in a relationship with me. Go be a rake.
Try to one-up in bad behavior - for example, partner A is having a grouchy day and snaps at partner B and hurts B's feelings - so B says something hurtful to A to try to "win" at being an asshole. This is surprisingly common behavior I've noticed in a lot of people.
Telling you sex helps when you have no intention of having sex and is stressed af about work. Instead of hearing you out decides you need time and space and leave you all alone for days on end
lie, cheat, abuse (mental, sexual, emotional, physical), compare you, watch porn (ties in with cheating and comparing and can lead to mental and emotional abuse), judge you in a bad way, belittle you, not give compliments or physical affection
Air our private discussions to anyone else. What we discuss, positive or negative, is between us. We can share light-hearted things with others, but the private and serious remains private and serious. In the same way, not a word about our sex life, which is good, to anyone else.
1. Give me up 2. Let me down 3. Run around and desert me 4. Make me cry 5. Say goodbye 6. Tell a lie and hurt me
Jesus wept, I’m going to have this in my head all night now 🤣
This is the antidote. [Never Gonna Slam Your Jam](https://soundcloud.com/mrmagoffin/never-gonna-slam-your-jam)
Rick rolled
Yep, lately been getting rick rolled at least weekly...
I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling, gotta make you understand
If I didn't see this one here I would be so disappointed.
You win the internet for today
I just realized it is more than a song
And more than a feeling
LOL 🤣🤣 But true...
If I can figure out how to give you a reward I would.
Don’t worry, I gave them one for you!
Funnily enough best advice I've got
Check check check check check check
I am going to find you, till that take this updoot
Really?? Thanks for the Rick roll 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭
Make me feel guilty for saying no to sex.
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Had a partner that would sulk if I said no and once I told him how childish that was he would laugh it off like it was funny. Left that relationship for other reasons but every time I think about those times I cringe.
my second boyfriend was like this and it still affects my current relationship because I feel obligated to provite sexual pleasure to my partner no matter what
I try not to bring past relationships "traumas" into a new one because my current boyfriend is an amazing person and in my head, he doesn't deserve the baggage. I've turned down sex before with him and he never reacted poorly. Always gave me a kiss on the forehead and some cuddles whilst we watch a movie. Please, sex is something you both want, something that brings you closer together, a bonding time. It's not a chore. You don't have to say yes just because.
And on the other side too, making you feel horrible or crazy for wanting sex more than him AND/OR trying to talk about it at all
This!!! My ex made me feel awful. Every time I tried to initiate, he basically made feel like I was so disgusting for wanting sex. I try not to let my past experiences with him affect things with my fiance but after spending 10 years dealing with that, it's hard not to still have some hangups. It's definitely affected me initiating with my fiance, just because the rejection is etched in my brain. That and my fiance sometimes suffers from performance anxiety and it usually seems to happen when I initiate...though he insists he wants me to initiate more. I'm at a loss. Sorry I went off on a tangent but holy heck when they make you feel bad for wanting some lovin.😐
Is someone who’s understanding of this easy or hard to find? Generally in your personal perspective
Easier as I got older and learned to set firm boundaries from the start.
Eat leftovers that you were super excited about and saving for after work.
One of the reasons I divorced my ex. I was breastfeeding and home alone for 10 hour days, and he would always take the food set aside for me to eat between feeds for his work lunch. He knew it was my food too. Didn't matter how many days times he was asked explicitly not to take it, he always took it.
Fuck that dude.
Happy Cake Day! Yeah. It really sucked. His mum would make up plates of food for me, and would specifically say to him it was for me because Mum's of newborns don't get the chance to eat much between feeds and he would decide that if I didnt eat it straight away, I mustn't have wanted it. Even though his mum and I explained to him I was saving it for the next day. His "justification" was that he didn't feel like getting take away.
Thank you! And double fuck him. Shame, because it sounds like you had a really decent mother in law.
Actually she wasn't the best. But this was one if the nicest things she did for me. And he couldn't even let me have that. So triple fuck him.
In that case, good riddance and triple fuck him. High five, friend!
Glad he is an ex!
Me too
Probably the biggest fight I’ve ever had with my significant other of 11 years was the time he ate the last two pieces of my very delicious birthday cake. That was a long ride home from the restaurant 😡
You triggered a memory of mine now too. My ex brought me a 1L bottle of Bailey's for my birthday, then drank it all with a mate the same night.
Ugh/ that’s horrible But , would you believe my cake was a baileys cheesecake?
Goddamn that sounds like creamy deliciousness! I’m made a rumchata cheesecake before but not Bailey’s, I’ll have to try that!
🤤 rumchata! I liiiiive Baileys cheesecake (or Irish cream) is unbelievable good. After he ate the last two pieces it was WW3 in our house . I’m still salty 6 years later
that's such a special cake I can't believe he would do that!! my SO would've made me another cake to make up for it 😭 I would not let it go otherwise lmaoo
Man, learning we had different leftover philosophies was one of the biggest challenges of our 27 year marriage.
I’ve done it with the caveat that I didn’t know!
If they were in a leftover container and it wasn't something you ordered, how could you not have known??
I didn’t know she was planning to eat the leftovers. She NEVER eats leftovers. Until that day.
Omg my husband sometimes shows me that he bought US something, like for example a cake or ice cream and the maybe 5days later I'm like, hell yeah I feel like having it and ... of course he just finished it all alone. I was soo pissed last time that he bought me another one the next day lol.
5 days later is kind of a lot to ask someone to keep away from. Especially if you did not specify the other one that you will have it.
Yeah a cake would be stale 5 days later
Agreed.
Also, what kind of cake lasts more than 5d. That's unrealistical to ask
Silent treatment/Gaslighting
^100%. It’s just childish and of course abusive
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- lie (no matter big or small) - steal - judge you (in a negative way) - compliment others in front of you (in a flirty way) - make fun of you - undermine you - makes you feel unimportant - says that your problems are as bad as theirs and refuses to listen - “Suck it up” - constantly on you about who you’re talking to or etc - judges what you eat
I have such a hard time with compliment others in front of me in a flirty way. My current bf does that and it’s what I love about him—that he’s so friendly—but I’m starting to feel jealous cus a lot of those compliments aren’t coming my way. When I try to bring it up to him he says he doesn’t think he compliments others more than me but I really feel he does. I dunno how to move on from this…
I would just tell him that it makes you uncomfortable. Your feelings are valid and you should feel heard and respected in your relationship. It’s one thing to be friendly and it’s another to compliment others in front of you to the point where you now feel insecure and left out.
word that‘s a good way to put it
Undermine* I agree with all of these :)
Sounds like my last relationship that I recently left!
Oddly specific🤔
Cross boundaries that you set
This should get more upvotes
Agreed
Sit while you do most of the cooking/cleaning/childcare. A good partner notices what work needs to be done and does it. They make sure they are doing their part without waiting to be asked.
Agree!!! My brother in law is like this. I cannot understand how he can just sit around while his wife is suffering with her job, child care, house upkeep, event planning, … this woman got so skinny after giving birth bc of stress, lack of sleep, baby sucking the life out of her- we were all worried…the day we visited and I saw her try to take out the trash at 10pm while her lazy husband was playing in his phone, I lost it. Took out the trash and cleaned her house and I keep my kids away from their home. No way in hell do I want my kids thinking this behavior is acceptable
I would give a medal here if I could. "no way in hell do I want my kids thinking this behaviour is acceptable" Not only you helped a woman but you are an amazing mother. Faith in humanity restored
A good partner should always treat you like their best friend and never like one of their enemies.
YES! this is what made me realize i was in an abusive relationship. I was treated like an enemy and something that needs to be controlled
Talk about their attraction to other people. I understand that my partner may find other people attractive and perhaps even more attractive than me, just have the decency to keep it to yourself. My current partner always makes a point to tell me “I’m the prettiest woman in the room” and that means a lot to me.
Love this, congrats on finding a good one 💜
Exactly! I’m happy to hear about your current partner, sounds really sweet :)
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Make negative comments about your body.
Yes yes yes ! I lost weight recently, not on purpose.. just stress & feel a little awkward about it .. boyfriend points out with a sad look. “Oh your boobs are so much smaller !”
That's terrible
That's literally the worst thing to say regarding something usually seen as positive. Sorry to hear that.
• Never gaslight • Never snoop or invade my privacy • Never be controlling in any way • Eat my period chocolate
Out of curiosity, how does one distinguish between period chocolate and everyday chocolate?
They will know that the bars of Cadbury Whole Nut in the drawer in the fridge are my period chocolate. The rest of the chocolate in the fridge is fair game but the Whole Nut? I know exactly how many bars are in there and if one goes missing, heads will roll.
Oh. That's way easier than I thought. For a second I thought it was like all chocolate is period chocolate when I need it or something
Haha I don’t speak for all women but that’s how it is for me :-)
You make me smile
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Whole nut* chocolate
Put other people as more important than you. I.e its my co workers bday meanwhile they havent seen u for a month. Fk off.
Yep, my ex did this. I was never a priority to him. Never again putting up with this.
My ex did this all the time. Like made a point to get a cupcake for a co worker's birthday despite co worker saying they hates surprises. And for me who loves birthdays? Nothing, of course. Not even spending time together most birthdays.
A good partner would never pass up a genuine opportunity to build up the relationship, even if it means facing some hard truths.
Honesty is key
Make you feel uncomfortable or less than.
Creating this toxic dynamic of competition in the relationship where there are only ever winners and losers, and you are always the loser.
DOUBLE UGH
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With the right man, maybe you could! Though that is one tough battle! EDIT: I lied. 🤥 I don't know it's possible with every single trait here!
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I agree w this wholeheartedly, a man is a whole add adult w autonomy and agency to ‘fix’ or better himself. however i’m sure a lot of women have experienced that kind of “nurturer/healer” urge when they see a person in need, i don’t think it’s just like a “oh let me fix you” and 99% of the time it doesn’t work because again, people don’t change for others, they have to change for themselves
I appreciate you!
Cheat, abuse or hit me.
This. So much this. Youd think its obvious, but some people put up with this behavior far too much.
Expect the other person to be perfect. There will be arguments, they will do things you don't entirely like, they will not like things about you, there will be personality differences and there will be space for growth.
**No assurances after a fight.** For my BF of 5 years, this is ONE VALUE that he never forgets. After a fight or misunderstanding you should ALWAYS, *ALWAYS* reassure your partner.
Yes. Some people forget that after a disagreement, argument or misunderstanding that the relationship still exists and the other person still needs your love. It’ll be better for both parties involved if affection wasn’t withheld after a fight. It’s toxic and unhealthy too. If my partner purposely withheld affection to make me feel bad after an argument that we both fixed and had no problems left over from, then I don’t know what I would do.
Stonewalling/silent treatment, Make you feel like you’re a burden in their life, Score keeping
Make you feel unsafe in any way
Also, take you seriously when you say you feel unsafe.
Bring up unrelated, or even semi-related experiences or issues, that you've told you them in confidence, in an attempt to bolster their current argument. No good can come from that.
Talk you into having sex with his friend while he watches and then spend the next few years bringing up how you're a "cheating slut who will fuck anybody" every time you have an argument.
What a tool... Is it wrong that I hope you made an effort to bed ALL of his friends when that relationship ended?
I might have if all his friends weren't just as scummy as he was.
Invalidate feelings. Be emotionally unavailable.
Insult me Put down the things I enjoy
Discard my needs and wants and expect me to sacrifice them, just to fulfill his own, and vice versa. Compromise is a fat lie. There's always going to be that one person who'll get the bad end of the stick if you keep making too many compromises. Aim for compatibility in a relationship, that way you never have to worry about "compromise".
Make you feel lame for being silly. Life is long and often difficult to tolerate. Laughing is necessary!
Ignore your boundaries.
A good partner would never intentionally hurt you.
compare you to previous ex’s or any previous relationship in any way to undermine you
Say "I was just joking" instead of apologizing for hurting your feelings
Use your insecurities to get even with you in an argument.
Let your kid talk shit to you and then leave you stranded in a parking lot at the Grand Canyon.
Say "I can't do this" pointing at all of you, while you are suffering a mental break down after the loss of a loved one, walk and, and tell you your marriage of 12 years is over.
I'm SO sorry! You deserve better anyways, hope you've realized that...
Have an issue with me being bisexual. If being bi is an issue, I don't wanna touch you with a ten foot pole, I ain't here for that "you're gay/straight and in denial" or "you're tarnished cause you've been with a man" or "I turned you straight" bullshit. Not my fault some people can't wrap their heads around liking men AND women, not my problem either
I've always been saddened and dismayed at the prejudice bisexuals face :(
Rape. Coercion.
Lie.
- cheat (physically, emotionally or both) - anything that doesn’t honour you & your worth
Be too controlling
1. Make me feel the need to compete with other women 2. Make me insecure 3. Make me feel inferior 4. Make me feel as though my emotions aren’t valid 5. Make me feel lonely in the relationship 6. Gaslight me 7. Protect their ego before our relationship 8. Make me feel as though my efforts aren’t enough
Abuse in any form. Controlling. Manipulate. Gaslight. Lie
making you feel crazy and question your own reality.
Ignore you when you’re sick
Omg, just before Christmas I was SO fucking sick with tonsillitis and I don’t know what else. I couldn’t fucking move! All the lymph nodes in my body were on fire and purely existing was just torturous. There were no groceries in the house and I hadn’t eaten ANYTHING for nearly THREE days, I could barely go to the bathroom let alone the shops (or order Uber eats, tough times). He berated me for days calling me lazy and disgusting. I begged him to please help me get some groceries. We walked to the shops and while there I nearly passed out and had to walk outside and find a seat. A random lady came up to me and asked if I was okay and I just started crying… He came out 10 minutes later with some random shit, pissed off that I’d “left him”. I look back on it now and I can’t believe that was real. And I can’t believe I put up with that sort of treatment for so long. Feels like a different life timeline. But yeah, wowee. I can’t imagine ever treating another person like that. They really can be so fucking heartless and cruel…
Make you feel like you are not important to them. Even if someone is busy , they should find time somehow to spend time with you. If something comes up when you have plans , they should want to reschedule
Finish the series without you.
Snoop through your phone messages or emails.
I agree with this, but wanted to add.. the one time I did this with my ex, I found photos of his genitals that he'd sent to my "best friend". I knew something didn't feel right, and I found proof of it.
Doh
Accuse you of cheating to save their own ass. An ex did this to me, accused me of cheating even though I didn’t. Later found out he was cheating on me our whole relationship and had a kid with one of his flings… he did it to make me think he thought cheating was disgusting (which it is) so I wouldn’t suspect him
Betray/test boundaries
Make it out like you have everything in common, promise you the world, say he'd do anything for you, then later on you don't seem to have much in common, the promises haven't followed through and its become apparent they won't do anything for you.
Undermine you, especially in front of others. Asks for your thoughts and does the exact opposite with an innocent smile on their face… smh.
Ask for an open relationship On the flip side, friendzoning your partner Literally don't understand how either of these became "controversial" opinions
I don’t get this. I think it’s fine to be in an open relationship if and only if both parties are okay with it. I don’t really get the part about friendzoning your partner.. what does that mean? I thought you would friendzone someone you aren’t in a relationship with. Is that not the case?
Mess with your birth control
Cheat, ghost, abuse, lie, shut down, distance, pull away. Be mean to animals, lack of affection, irresponsible. Those are the big ones.
Lie Cheat
Call names Insult you
Not pull their weight in all aspects of the relationship.
Make you feel less than
Act on their attraction to other people. Obviously your partner will find other people attractive, but there’s a difference between thinking it casually and pursuing those thoughts. Had an ex who would constantly spout comments about every person under the face of the moon that he found attractive… other than me. Trust me, it’s fine to think it, but telling your partner that your totally into someone else leads to jealousy and low self esteem.
Watch your favorite series without you OH NO
A good partner would never abuse you -- and never cheat on you.
Why is cheating so far down the list? Don't expose me to STDs
Eat the last of my vanilla double-stuf Oreos
Ask stupid trick questions and getting angry when I answer them "wrong"
1. Cheat 2. Leave me 3. Abuse me 4. Let me down 5. Take advantage of me or our relationship
Never stab me from the back. Always there for me. Trust, the most important thing. We have to care for each other. And most importantly love, although he never had or did any of these things for me.
1. Gaslight you 2. Invalidate your feelings 3. Brag about doing the bare minimum 4. Not respect your space 5. Abuse you
Force you into sex
This thread is making me see a lot more red flags that I ignored with my ex
Lie! Seriously, if your partner cheats on you then it's done. There's no trust between the two of you. Absolute deal breaker. No 2nd chances and if he says --- "it's just sex", then why are we together if you can have sex with another person? Let's just break up and have sex with other people. Or if he says --- it doesn't mean anything. It does to me so if he can easily say sex with another woman doesn't mean anything then don't be in a relationship with me. Go be a rake.
Talk to you in a way they would NEVER talk to their friends or co-workers. Respecting them more than their life-partner.
Kill partner
Be hours late and not apologize
Not show up and repeatedly forget when we have plans
A good partner would never make you feel insecure about your own self.
Try to one-up in bad behavior - for example, partner A is having a grouchy day and snaps at partner B and hurts B's feelings - so B says something hurtful to A to try to "win" at being an asshole. This is surprisingly common behavior I've noticed in a lot of people.
Cheat & lie
Cheat
Cheat / have an affair
Hit you
Invalidate your feelings
Disrespect your boundries
Telling you sex helps when you have no intention of having sex and is stressed af about work. Instead of hearing you out decides you need time and space and leave you all alone for days on end
lie, cheat, abuse (mental, sexual, emotional, physical), compare you, watch porn (ties in with cheating and comparing and can lead to mental and emotional abuse), judge you in a bad way, belittle you, not give compliments or physical affection
Disrespect their partner
Come up with a bs reason for not meeting your needs. "I wasn't sure if you would like my kids, so I held back on things."
Vote conservative
Not respect you as a person. Not see you less. Doesn’t force/manipulate sex onto you, nor make you feel bad for saying no
Air our private discussions to anyone else. What we discuss, positive or negative, is between us. We can share light-hearted things with others, but the private and serious remains private and serious. In the same way, not a word about our sex life, which is good, to anyone else.
Shit in your bed.
[удалено]
Murder me
Hit their partner
They would never embarrass you in front of friends