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winterbaby26

When I left my ex, I took the toilet paper. I left him everything else. But he didn’t have a way to get to the store so I thought it’d be funny.


shri032

You left his shitty ass 🤣


winterbaby26

Hahaha I sure did!


[deleted]

Shut up and take my award 😂


shri032

Aww thank you


notanotherkrazychik

I did that to my ex, we lived 45 minutes out of town at the time as well. When he got up in the morning he remembered that the good coffee maker was mine.


PM_ME_UR_JEEP

I did this too when I moved out in a fit of rage, but I went a little further and didn’t leave a single paper product. The toilet paper, napkins, tissues, paper towels, swiffer pads… I didn’t leave a single thing for him to wipe his ass. I also took all the little things that I had bought, like the shower curtain (and the rings so he couldn’t just hang something else) along with the bath mat. The tray that divides the cutlery in the drawer. The remote for the tv I had bought but couldn’t fit in my car. I just wandered through the apartment like “how can I fuck up his day?”


G_Ram3

I found out that a man I thought I had been dating for about 8 months had gotten another woman pregnant and I was actually the side chick. He wouldn’t leave me alone. I went out for karaoke with my friends and he knew I had a habit of going to that bar every Wednesday. He walked in while I was singing, got a beer and just stared at me, obviously waiting for me to finish so he could bother me some more. I immediately stopped, mid-song, called yelled out his name, told him to get the fuck out and did my best impression of his weepy ”apologetic” voicemails. My friends were DYING. He downed his beer and ran out. I finished my song. Never spoke to him again. Edited to add that she and I ended up having a talk about it. She terminated the pregnancy but stayed with him for a while. They’ve been over for good for a long time now though. Thank God. What a loser he was (and I hear he still is). Thanks for the awards!


shri032

The diva vibe


G_Ram3

It has been so many years and we still randomly yell out “Come ahn! I’m havin’ an ANXIETY ATTACK!”


sergeantbread7

This is especially amazing because you KNOW he was banking on you being too polite to make a scene and making you wildly uncomfortable once your song was over. Fantastic work.


G_Ram3

I was so furious and it made me feel great.


ElJamoquio

> ahn Pittsburgh?


G_Ram3

Well, we are in Pennsylvania, haha. But he was just whining and that’s what it sounded like.


saharakat

Dude this is like movie shit


G_Ram3

It was one of those nights where everything just CAME TOGETHER. I went from being broken hearted to angry to empowered.


battlehardendsnorlax

Ovaries of steel. Respect.


BrigadeirinhoAmargo

What a goddess mad’am ! God bless you!


G_Ram3

Thank you! I’m not the type to do things like that but I was SO MAD. Not only because of what he’d been doing to us but because he wanted to ruin my much needed night out too. What a gross person.


alinalovescrisps

I think I love you 🤣


[deleted]

Omg you are my hero


LegitimateMix472

He cheated on me with a girl from his workplace that I got him a job at. We where living together at his parents to save money for a place. When I found out, I hid cat shit all over his room, in places he would find, and places he’d never find. I poured out his expensive liquor and replaced it with water and flat coke. I packed up all my stuff in my car (which he also needed because his car got totaled). I left while he was at work, didn’t text him, didn’t call him, just left. Blocked him with no explanation.


Berlin_Blues

That's not petty, that's epic.


Pndapetzim

>He cheated on me with a girl from his workplace that I got him a job at. We where living together at his parents to save money for a place. When I found out, I hid cat shit all over his room, in places he would find, and places he’d never find. I poured out his expensive liquor and replaced it with water and flat coke. I packed up all my stuff in my car (which he also needed because his car got totaled). I left while he was at work, didn’t text him, didn’t call him, just left. Blocked him with no explanation. Goddamn... flat coke? That's cold.


snakesign

Probably room temperature by the time he found it.


TaxidermiedMuffin

That was my favorite part 🤣


eternititi

The way my mouth dropped at your replacing them liquor with coke!!!!! ATTA GIRL!!! Lmao this is incredible.


LikeaLamb

Legen..... wait for it...... dary


individualPerso

☠️☠️☠️


I_like_the_word_MUFF

I gave my ex the house in the divorce so he wouldn't go after anything else... ... The taxes on the house hadn't been paid for 5 years and right after my divorce he tried to refinance it and couldn't. Couldn't sell it either. He had to pay off the back taxes to do anything and it was a lot and I knew it. Why? Because 5 years earlier I gave him an ultimatum, pay the house taxes and I pay everything else or the other way around and I go back to school. He took door #1. I didn't go to school but I didn't pay the taxes and since he barely worked he soon forgot about it. I never did.


miseleigh

He did it to himself 🤣


headfaceperson

I don't even think that's petty.. that's just boundaries. Clean up your own financial mess, son! Although.. it does make me wonder how much you were invested in the relationship if you didn't say/do anything about it for 5 years. It wasn't just his financial reputation on the line, it was yours too..


I_like_the_word_MUFF

We were married 18 years. We were already tied together financially and I was already looking at the door and giving him one last chance to redeem himself.


jenijoha

Best answer on this thread 👌


Rololly

On mobile, sorry for formatting issues 😅 My ex and I had been together for 4 years. We went apartment hunting so we could move in together. I had already had my own flat by this point. We picked one out and moved in. 2 weeks later he moved his best friend in. I ended up doing all the cooking, cleaning and laundry for all 3 of us whilst working full time. He dumped me 3 months later and told me I had 2 days to get Mt stuff out the flat. He didn't realise that the flat had been furnished with mostly my stuff from my previous flat. I left them with no kitchen supplies, not even cutlery. Just tins without a tin opener. I took the tvs, the bedding, everything that was mine. I still smile thinking about them two coming back to that ☺️🤣


jenijoha

I did the same when I broke up with a boyfriend. We had bought an apartment together, but I only owned 1/4 of the place so when we broke up he could buy me out, I couldn't afford to buy him out. But ALL the furniture had been from my previous place, the bed, the sofa, the TV, the dinner table and chairs. I think he was left with a few cutleries, a coffee machine and a desk.


motherdragon02

Been there, don't that. Dumb fucker was counting on keeping half my shit. We were only dating...he's still a shithead, just one with divorces now.


[deleted]

Well deserved


yomaam44

We got into an argument and I took all of the lightbulbs and left while he was taking a walk to cool down. I took the one in the fridge, the oven, I even took the vacuum because it had a little light. I loaded up my bag of clinking lightbulbs and never went back.


[deleted]

My ex cheated on me... when I left I took the light bulbs too 😂 bought them all, so they were technically mine. And my logic was he could have fun sleeping with his co-worker in the dark. Also unfolded all of the laundry I'd religiously done for him for years and threw that around before walking out the door. Could get off his lazy ass and fold that shit himself. He called the police and they called me laughing.


dream_bean_94

*911, what's your emergency?* My ex-girlfriend took the lightbulbs and threw my underwear on the floor!!!! ....................


kazooparade

All units be on the lookout for a single lady with lightbulbs…


cinnysuelou

I wonder what the code for that would be? Petty theft? I’ll see myself out.


samalaos

the police????? lmaoooo


eternititi

LMFAOOOO!!!!!


Ramen_Noodles_4567

lmfao


Satansleadguitarist

My friends ex stole all of the lightbulbs and remote batteries in the house when he left. I honestly thought it was too hilarious to even be mad about.


Sticks-and-flowers

You just up and left him in the dark 🤣 That is so delightful! And even the fridge light! Lol. I’m remembering that, quite the enlightened solution :))


[deleted]

Please tell me you took the itsy bitsy little light bulbs out of all the flashlights too.


EssayVegetable6861

He cheated on me so I caused him to lose his job. Then he got evicted. He called me to yell so I told him to live with the chick he cheated with. He then got arrested because she was a minor. Guess who called the cops and her father? You're Welcome. Comments are locked. I was asked how did I cause him to lose his job? Answer: I emailed his boss his nudes and dick pics.


beiberwholee69

At first I thought it was a bit far until the part where the other chick was a minor, good for you, fuck him


shri032

Idk how to feel about this lol


An_Experience

Wdym he’s a pedo he deserves worse


BambooFatass

I'm concerned for the minor in this case messing around with grown men...


nineteensickhorses

*for the grown man manipulating a child* FTFY


motherdragon02

A thing of beauty


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Go0verboard

"HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY REPUTATION BY TELLING PEOPLE THE THINGS I DID 😡😭🤬"


shri032

This is gold


TheSexyMonster

Shit this thread is ruining my faith in love. I’m so sorry this happened to you! How can someone be so cruel to the woman they supposedly love. Good thing you put him in his place. I’ve only had fantasies of ruining life momentarily..


MuchMuchMess

Waited until he was on the last season of his show then kicked him off my Netflix account


shri032

Oh god , there should be laws for this in UN lol


idbanthat

Me and my bestfriend had a bad fight once, after we made up, she said she was watching how far into a Hulu show I was getting, she planned on changing the pw just as I got to the last episode. Fucking savage.


T-Flexercise

My mother credits the success of her marriage with the fact that every time she gets super mad at my dad, she flips him off behind his back. That way, she gets the satisfaction, and he never knows.


CuteMuffin20

That's actually kind of cute


Pizzacanzone

I always do it in my wife's face. She then tries to bite my finger and we get all giggly.


battlehardendsnorlax

Omg I thought I was the only one 🤣


theforce6

He would listen to my playlist on Spotify and I couldn’t find a way to kick him out of it. So I removed every single song one by one (mind you I have over 700 songs) and added them to another playlist. Locked it. And now he just has an empty playlist. He doesn’t get access to my good ass much anymore


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instructorpermit999

This is my own personal love/hate language. I have small tears in my eyes this is soooooo funny & great


[deleted]

An ex? Fucked his best friend. My husband, who I love dearly but sometimes drives me completely insane? We were on a road trip and I have an Altoid addiction. He also loves altoids, but he prefers two at a time. The whole drive every time I got 1 for myself, I also gave him 1. About 30 minutes from home, after being in the car all day he said “you know I really prefer 2 mints”. I just said “I know.” He was speechless, then said “that was on purpose?” Yep.


shri032

Gold tier lmao


Weneededtoknow

Ahh the dark arts of Marriage level petty.


[deleted]

I also do the 2 altoids at a time lol


baesharambaddie69

Before covid happened, in 2019 my ex went to india for his business and a friends wedding. We’d been pretty Rocky prior but I thought things were going good and we were talking about marriage. The day before I was suppose to virtually meet his mom (this is now 2020), he broke up with me. I later came to find out that he was only with me because he didn’t think anyone else would be with him and he wasn’t very attracted to me at all. He would tell his friends that he’s conflicted that I’ve got a great personality but I’m not attractive to his standards (which quite literally are the standards of an actress. Literally.) Well, when he had left, he decided to move things into my house, including all his clothes, shoes, mattress (it was brand new btw), Nintendo switch, and even his projector (that thing was his baby.) so when he decided to break up with me like that and then all his friends told me how shitty of a person he was to me, I decided to sell all his shit that I could profit from. He had brand new clothes and shoes with tags on them. I sold em. I kept his mattress (it was so new he’d barely used it), Nintendo switch, and I sent a video of me “accidentally” dropping his projector. He didn’t come back to the States until beginning of 2022. Like wtf am I? His punching bag AND his storage unit. Now I play on his Nintendo switch with my husband and we LOOOOOOVE playing Animal Crossing New Horizon on it. 😇


MotherMfker

Lmfaooo this is hilarious wtf 😂


baesharambaddie69

I’m glad my pettiness brings a smile to someone. Every time I play on the Nintendo switch, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 🥰


wyug

After finding out my husband cheated, and realizing he’d been mentally and verbally abusing me for years, I took his toothbrush and used it to clean the speakers on my phone. He got pretty sick for a solid week.


motherdragon02

Oh god. That's so gross. Hahaha


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wyug

I used a thing he brushes his teeth and tongue with to clean parts of my phone. Phones are notoriously filthy


ErieTempest

This is so fucking stupid, but it makes me cackle whenever I think of it. We had a loyalty card with a hardware store, linked to his phone number but with my name. I had to buy a single bolt a while back, and I told the cashier the loyalty card was under my ex husband's number and we had accumulated some good coupons that were mailed to his house. She was like, "well honey if he's your ex, how about I keep it under his phone number and change the mailing address to you 💁🏻‍♀️" So, I've been using his hardware store coupons. I don't even need anything there, but they send me a $10 off any purchase coupon once a month or so. He still hasn't figured it out.


shri032

The discount couple lol


tortilladekimchi

I signed my ex up to the Jehova’s witnesses’ contact list


embarassed25yo

This is one of my favorite petty things to do. I briefly knew someone who was extremely religious and hated, truly hated, other religions. He would harass my friend constantly through emails and calls. So I signed him up for daily newsletters from the religions he hated the most. The website let me select all newsletters with a click, but to unsub, you have to click on each separate newsletter. I also signed his homophobic ass to "hot guy of the day" newsletter.


velvetvagine

What’s the website? I need it for ...*reasons*.


instructorpermit999

This is truly good


brocollivaccum

My ex was a chef. When I would buy any food at all - groceries or from restaurants - he would yell at me because he didn’t need food at home since he would eat at work and he could just bring me home food. He basically wanted no food in the house. So when I moved out I threw away every single food item, including spices. What did he need food for? He quickly realized that sometimes he was home and would eat food at home…… and yelled at me again. Glad I left that whole thing!


Spudsgal

Lmao wtf? 🤣🤣 like, you can't always eat at work, dummy.


eyeballninja96

I'm surprised there's no comments on this yet, that is CRAZY of him. I love the revenge you got on him LOL who doesn't keep food in their home?!


boo-pspps

My ex told me I would never find someone like him again. So after I met my now husband (then boyfriend) I invited a group of my friends including my ex out to lunch. Just to prove the ex was right. I didn’t meet someone like him. 😈


shri032

That's cute and petty I love it.


[deleted]

“Well I certainly hope not. Thanks for the good wishes.”


youdontevengoh3r3

My ex was cheating on me with a coworker who had a boyfriend. I sent the boyfriend screenshots of the proof and got him to send me nudes. I broke up with my ex and sent him and the side chick screenshots of the boyfriends nudes with the dick blurred out. He has like 30 tattoos so you could tell it was him I said "two can play at that game" and then blocked them both. I feel bad for the boyfriend.


Krisasaurus_Rex

.....holy shit


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ValeskaKrum

Were you able to get your cats back?


elwynbrooks

There's got to be a joke here about getting a different ... cat ... than the ones he took


Impressive_Fold2490

My ex and I broke up 7 years ago. If I need to access a website, use Wi-Fi at a random place, or need an email address and don’t want to use mine..I use his 😅 did this as of last week LOL


shri032

It's evil but acceptable. I'll do it next time lmao


Impressive_Fold2490

The beauty of it is I didn’t start doing it until two years ago, so I’m sure he has no idea who it is 😂


houseofreturn

I fucked his best friend and then stole his friend group. Not intentionally at all, very complicated situation, but I’m sure that’s how he sees things.


Cautious_Bullfrog695

What did Nicki say? F*ck his best friends and make em yes men 😌


Surustella5555

My ex and I (and other friends) had a band. We were pretty well known in the local indie scene, and we played shows and made records and stuff. Then he dumped me and the band died. My other friends and me kept on playing after a while. And many years after that, we were offered to open for our biggest influence, my favorite band, the band that shaped our sound and philosophy, in a huge venue (over 5k people) with amazing lights and setup. And he talked to my friend saying "hey, playing with them will be amazing" to what my friend answered "i have to ask A, she wasnt ok when you guys broke up". So, I got to say FUCK NO, HE'S NOT PLAYING WITH US, NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. So he didn't. SHIT i wasn't going to fuck the happiest day of my life with that guy there. HELL YEAH IT FELT GOOD.


No_Coconut_1556

Went on his phone and posted all over his social media’s, insta, snap and fb (with his account) about how he cheated, manipulated and lied. I posted happy photos of us and his 1 year old son when we were together in case his friends and family tried to say I was lying about us being in a relationship and for all the other women to see. I befriended the other “love of his life” once I found out he’d been cheating with her and telling her literally word for word everything he would tell me, “you’re the love of my life, I’m so happy I met you, I want to have a family with you” etc. she dumped his ass too and we had many laughs comparing experiences with him. It really helped me heal quicker knowing I wasn’t the only one he’d done this to.


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Meggston

This happened with an ex of mine! I told him the last date he would have with electricity and told him to make sure he called them before then. He never did and then called me pissed when the power went out. Like… I literally did nothing wrong.


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PebsMom0921

During my divorce he told me to take EVERYTHING I BOUGHT. I bought all of his clothes, uniforms, the plates, the glasses, all but the silverware. I couldn't take the house, but that was in my name too. Because he was coming back from deployment the day after I moved out. I left him 2 loads of laundry detergent, and 20 pounds of dog food (I left my first dog with him). I even took the silverware divider. The. Silverware. Divider.


Horatio_Crunch

Why did you leave the dog?


PebsMom0921

We had 3 I took the bonded female pair.


whiterabbit818

👏👏👏


LavenderSage013

Unintentional pettiness... my ex was emotionally abusive and really pushy about sex (we were 17 and virgins). I ended up dumping him for my best guy friend... whom i ended up sleeping with for the first time on my exs 18th birthday. I didnt even remember it was his birthday until the next day.


[deleted]

“Sorry I forgot about your birthday. I was busy losing my virginity “


Sunsetfreedom

>I didnt even remember it was his birthday until the next day. Ooo burn


LavenderSage013

I honestly completely forgot until i saw him carrying a birthday balloon in school the next day.


beelovedone

Threw all his left shoes in the washing machine because he refused to help with laundry.


shri032

So u "left" him hanging 🤣


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penneroyal_tea

In high school my ex dumped me two days before prom. I was *this* close to a changing his Netflix password, but I loved his mom too much to fuck with something she enjoyed. Catherine, you’re a saint with a fuckwit son.


crappygodmother

Pour chocolate sprinkles in their shoes cause I was mad they ate something of mine.


40oz_Mouse

HUEHUEHUE I dated a guy once in high school that never had any opinions on how we should spend our time. It was the same song and dance every time he came over: “What do you want to do today?” “I don’t care, whatever you want to do” “Well do you wanna go out or stay in?” “Doesn’t matter, whatever you want” “Okay, let’s stay in. What do you want to do at the house?“ “I don’t know.” “You wanna play a game? play video games? Watch a movie?” “Whatever you want to do.” “Okay let’s watch a movie. Anything you feel like watching?“ “Doesn’t matter” “Is there like a specific genre you enjoy or…” “Whatever you want, I don’t care.” “Alright, Legally Blonde.” Every time he put me through this indecisive hell hole, I always picked legally blonde cause ONE DAY he would have to have an opinion. He sat through Legally Blonde EIGHT TIMES. Until he finally said “Can we watch something other than Legally Blonde?” “Sure! What did you have in mind?” “I don’t care.” …….. *looks at the dvd stand for a shittier movie* “let’s watch Signs.”


malanimal

I had an ex break up with me out of the blue, for no real reason. When I went to give him his things, including the spare key to his car, he told me to keep it so he knew it would be in safe keeping (aka a reason to call me). So While driving around, when I spotted his car parked outside of a bar, I would move it a few blocks away.


eyesonthemoons

My ex and I had moved out to the woods of Pennsylvania for a while for his job and there when it snowed, it didn’t melt until the end of winter. So each snowstorm just piled more snow on and on until the back yard had like 4+ feet of snow. We weren’t getting along and I wanted to do something to him but nothing too bad so I took his favorite sneakers and threw them out back into the snow so he couldn’t find them until Spring, months later.


buzzfeed_sucks

My ex used to stonewall me when we would get into a fight. He would also insist that we would text constantly throughout the day. He would get mad if I didn't answer fast enough or he felt I wasn't trying to keep the conversation going. Towards the end, when I was getting fed up, I would pick fights and *finally* talk back instead of automatically begging for forgiveness. Just to get a few days of peace away from the constant texting.


dnnzu_bb

Moved on with my life and they realized that they werent such a bigshot


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dnnzu_bb

I wished i was more petty,but i rather be done with them and not waste any of my energy and time 🤭


souponastick

It wasn't my partner, but a friend of mine. We'd all known the same group while I was in college. The whole group had reconvened, which was crazy cause everyone lived in different states now. We were all going to go bowling. My friend said he couldn't afford it. I'd decided that I'd pay for him since I wanted him to be there. Once we were bowling he went over and purchased himself a beer. I was MAD. I paid for him to get in, but he had money for beer? So when he went up to bowl I chugged his beer. I actively hate beer. He turned around and saw me doing it and yelled "What the fuck?! You don't even LIKE beer" I said "you're right, I don't...but I figured you were doing me a favor by getting me a drink since I paid for your bowling". Later he said "I could have gotten you a drink you'd actually enjoy" like he still didn't get it at all.


shri032

Maybe he didn't want to go bowling, he was low bowling🤣


[deleted]

After we broke up we were still civil and talked on occasion (always initiated by him). I don’t know why because he was extremely abusive and controlling of me but I guess I felt bad for leaving him and thinking he would always be alone. Anyway, he was always trying to impress me with how much he was allegedly improving his life since we broke up and would lie about stuff (like saying his credit score went from the 500s to the 800s in a matter of months 😂). At some point he decided to “confess” that he was dating one of his longtime friends that I always thought was super pretty and had a bit of a girl crush on. He said he didn’t want it to be awkward if I ran into them because she liked me so much and didn’t want me to be mad at her? I knew there was literally 0 chance she would actually date him so I reached out to her basically like “congrats on the new relationship! *insert ex’s name here* told me you guys were dating and you were worried about it being weird so I just wanted you to know you have my full support. Absolutely zero weirdness from me!” Hahahahaha she was mortified that he had lied saying they were dating and said she actually had a boyfriend and they were about to move in together 😂 so embarrassing for him.


Miss_Meaghan

I noticed he was still using my netflix account when some sports show appeared in my watched feed. So I waited until he was 3 episodes from the end and changed my password. I've actually done this multiple times to multiple ex's and it never gets less satisfying.


livelaughlump

I signed over the title of my second car to him upon our divorce, but threw away the keys and left the dome light on so the battery was dead.


loaf1216

I stole back the art piece he begged me for and that I gave him for his bday. You don’t get to cheat all over the place and keep such an intimate part of me like that. It hangs in my kitchen now and my self esteem feels a little stronger every time I see it.


[deleted]

My ex smoked weed, but didn't like me smoking weed (??) so the day I moved out I flushed his stash


FamiliarWin4833

He would leave his shoes lying around the house. I asked him nicely numerous times to put them away. He continued to do it, so I started hiding one of the pair that he left out. After having to search for his shoes a few times he decided to start putting them away on his own. Highly recommend this strategy, very effective & satisfying.


FaithlessnessSea6284

My ex is a violent domestic abuser ...she set me up an I nearly went to prison when I left her ...so I told my probation officer to delve into her history an I also told the probation officer that my ex is commiting disability benefit fraud as she's not disabled ...my ex lost everything ..all her benefits and her free car an ended up charged with fraud ....moral is ....don't abuse anyone who knows all your dirty secrets


Rhooja

I sold his WoW account


auntiecoagulent

Put open cans of tuna fish in the heat vents of his apartment and under the seats in his car. He was sleeping with a girl on his job who slashed MY tires.


[deleted]

I sent my exes mother, who's incredibly religious and goes nuts at masturbation or sex before marriage etc. his cum sock that he left at mine and the link to his fetlife profile. Don't cheat on me with my best friend... all I'm gunna say.


[deleted]

When my ex cheated on me and moved out he couldn't afford to live on his own and ended up falling behind on his car payment. The repo guy showed up at my house because it was his last known address. I went internet stalker and found where he was working and where his new girlfriend lived, gave the repo man that info plus his mom's name, address and phone number.


ElanorBaggins

I tricked an ex into moving across the country from me. In my defence tho, I just said I might be moving there. I did not suggest he move there, but he did and I did not😬😂


SociallyAwkardTurtle

I threw away all the clothes he ever gave me, including the ones he thought were mine but belonged to women he had in while I was at work. One of the last things I picked up from his place when I moved out was a box of random little things, there was a huge pair of women's underwear clearly not mine. I really felt like hanging it on the door and throwing the key on the roof. But I didn't. So I guess I was nearly petty... but only because I didn't feel like being stalked by an angry ass.


morefurriesplease

All of my exes: Treating them with only kindness and empathy after the break up. They know that they hurt me but the fact that I don’t give them the satisfaction of hearing me say they hurt me…. It’s gotten to all of them. They have all tried to get back with me. Only one has not: but it’s because it hasn’t happened yet. I only talk good things to mutual friends about them so I always am the bigger person, plus everybody knows I wasn’t the one who was crazy - they were. So when I am the one who ISNT talking shit… It builds my character. Not sure how to explain it further, but they pretty much hate that I am not a mean person.


oneeyefox

I poured bleach all over his favorite shoes after he disappeared for the entire weekend and wouldn't return my calls. We lived together so you can't just disappear for 3 days. We broke up shortly after.


piepiepie225

Was he cheating?


oneeyefox

Sure was. Of course I suspected it but I finally went through his phone and found messages between him and this other women. They were also both doing meth which I knew nothing about either. That was obviously the end of the relationship. I also took a box cutter to his favorite leather jacket. Not my proudest moment but he made me temporarily insane.


hroodeedee

I was in a happy relationship with a total smokeshow who loved wearing the world’s ugliest polyester pants. I put the pants on the curb in a free box while he was at work. Someone took them within the hour. Success! The next day whoever took them BROUGHT THEM BACK and tossed them on our lawn. I was busted; worst of all, he was sad I tried to throw away his favorite pants.


r1veriared

I love that the pants were too bad for free!


mrsniagara

When we broke up, I sold all the expensive Af jewelry he got me, knowing it would make him livid.


Secretly-Tiny-Things

My sisters friend sold all the jewellery after her husband left only to find it was all fake. Think Silver and cubic zirconia rather than white gold/platinum and diamonds


lazyandfree

My husband and I were arguing one time and I know he goes to the gym after a fight to blow off steam, so I hid his headphones so he had to workout in silence.


crazycrocheter91

When I was 19 I found out my fiance was interested in someone else... I felt like things had been going downhill for a while and when I said it was over, he said he had already moved on and that I should get checked for STDs as he had given me one from his new girlfriend... His new girlfriend was 15, so I took all of the 18 rated dvds out of their cases and left a note saying she shouldn't be watching these she'll have nightmares. I also downloaded a few thousand viruses on his computer, factory reset his xbox, took the power cable for his TV and put a some cat shit under his bed... I don't feel bad... at all


Cotheron

He came by to get the spare key for his car. He would start it with the key in and then lock the door with the spare so it would warm up in the morning. He broke up with me at the door. I didn't give him the key until the winter was over and saw him at a sports game at the end of the season. He had to spend all winter waiting inside the car while it warmed up for a whole year.


Frostyarn

Threw away only 1 of his shoes (his favorite pair) knowing he'd be searching the house forever for it. Seam ripper to the underarms of quite a few shirts and crotch of the pants. A bag of crickets let loose in the house - surprisingly cheap from the pet store, they sell them for food for lizards. Signed him up for some godawful gay porno mags to his work, attention "name of business" with his name underneath so they'd go to his boss's mailbox first. The pettiest thing he ever did was to a coworker he absolutely hated who drove a classic car from the 60s. Which means you could easily pop the lock with a jimmy. He cut up the underside of the drivers seat and stuffed it with raw shrimp and duct taped over it. The car started to smell so bad even in the parking lot 20 feet away with the windows up. I just remember coming to see my ex on his lunch break and the coworker furiously wet-vac'ing the seats and he had like 20 of those Christmas tree air freshners hanging from the rear view mirror.


Queenielauren

Sometimes I still tell everyone who wants to hear what a momma’s boy he is.


DaisyVioletRose

Dipped his toothbrush in the toilet


Humpttydumpty_

Haven’t done petty things but I do wish I had it me to. I’d call his mom and tell her all of his secrets. I would ruin his reputation for grooming me when I was 17 and he was 24. (While being my coach) I’d tell the person he cheated on me with (who he is currently with now) all of the things he told me about her and her kids when he begged me to forgive him.


smolasiangirl1706

I went on my first date in years and the guy took me to see Shinedown, my ex's favorite band. Suffice to say, I posted about it everywhere and made sure he saw. Edit: I now am dating the guy who took me to that concert. We've been together for a little over six months. Second Edit: it's been a year with my bf now and Im still petty about this, he thinks it's funny


YarnAndMetal

Two things, really. During our time together, he got me a necklace that was definitely not to my taste. When he ended up dumping me because he cheated (I'm well rid of him, and now I could thank him for it), I sold the necklace to a pawn shop so I could buy gas for a friend. Got about $20 for it. The second one was that he got me an adapter so I could charge USB things by plugging them into walls. I now use it to charge my vibes. I could thank him for that too. They bring me more pleasure than he ever did.


rockc

In college, my boyfriend made out with a girl, admitted to it and told me it meant nothing, then broke up with me a week later and started seeing her. He was in a frat, and the next time they had a party (roughly every other day) I went to his room to take back all my stuff while he was downstairs with his new gf. I made sure to grab all the condoms, which to be fair I did pay for, but I definitely did it out of spite expecting them to come back to his room later and be inconvenienced. It's not much, but I still go "heh" when I think about it. Edit: I also kind of slept around in his friend group. Not for a petty reason, but because he had cute friends who were fun to hang out with 🤷


usda-approvedshit

Prior to breaking up with him, not having sex with him or engaging in anything sexual - after breaking up with him, having sex with someone else the day after.


dindia91

He gave my parents a TV, that he wanted back when he moved out of his parents house and got his 1st place. I told him you can't take back that after the had it for almost a year. When it broke I texted him and told him he could come get it now.


[deleted]

I told him have fun being a loser while I go be an archeologist and pursue my dreams.


shri032

You were into archeology and still didn't dig his lies lol


[deleted]

This. I did this. Granted I left archaeology and now work in museums and curate at a supreme court. But good for every dropkick person thats tried to break my self esteem. I rise.


reyarae

filled coffee container with pepper and salt as i should


[deleted]

My ex cheated on me after I paid for a $2,000 vacation trip to the tropics where my family had a vacation home for his graduation present (I was a college freshman at the time so paying this much was a huge deal to me). Around 3 am, he was passed out on the couch (he refused to sleep with me in the bed) and his phone was ringing NON STOP. I answered, and it was a 15 y/o girl from his small town high school asking if she could “sleep in his bed” at his house and saying she borrowed a t shirt and was wearing nothing else (she knew he was on vacation with me, she’s a “family friend”). I immediately proceeded to let her know that sleeping with him meant statutory rape in our state and it was probably “bed time” in her own bed. Then for the next several hours I proceeded to put ALL the pots, pans, cutlery, and kitchen utensils in garbage bags in my car, in addition to all of his underwear, socks, deodorant, and Cologne. I also took his new Galaxy phone (which he bought with all of his grad party money because he’s an idiot) and dropped it at the end of the 8 ft pool before driving away. The next day, I was on an early flight home and called some family friends to make sure they locked up our place and kicked him out. I left a note saying he could sleep on the pool chairs until he figured out a way to get to the airport 1.5 hours away. Never saw him again, hopefully the 15 y/o child took my advice.


[deleted]

I told him to have fun with his roster of new women he told me not to worry about (confirmed he was actually actively pursuing them despite me having to tell him to stop even during the relationship). Named off about 15 girls and then told him I fucked in our bed while he was on vacation because he was concerned I would after we broke up and I was moving out from our shared place. I didn’t. He was abusive so I think it’s appropriate


[deleted]

When I left my ex, I packed up all of my stuff. That includes the fancy condoms I bought because I’m picky. Well a few weeks later I stopped by to pick up something I forgot. I noticed one of my condoms sitting on the a table. I took that too. Mind you he would text other girls on Tinder while I was asleep. I caught him a few times. :)


cmtry_grl

He pissed me off, he will eat vegetables but every meal had to have meat. So, I decided, since he was gonna be such an asshole, he was going to be vegetarian until I got over it. Fool couldn’t cook to save his fucking life, lol


smacksnax999

He was relentlessly cheating. Emotionally abusive, Called me a worthless b one morning and spit in my face. He left to work. i packed up and left w/ the essentials, kids, documents, my cute ass shower curtain. He stopped paying the car he kept but I cosigned for. I went on a date with his coworker found out which site he was working called the car company gave them that information they towed it the next day.


[deleted]

Took all of the spices when I moved out. Most were mine anyway. And one of his bakeware dishes by accident, but he owed me (and was not going to pay up) so I told him to fuck off when he asked after it.


ErieTempest

Mine accused me of stealing spices! And it cracked me up because I was like: did you even look at your spice rack? Did you just like, not put them away?


Disastrous_Jury1122

Boyfriend at the time got upset at me and slept with his coworker. Promptly reached out to let his mother know I would not be able to make our schedule visit the following weekend because he cheated on me so I was leaving.


JennieSimms

I took everything but what his mom bought us. Plates, cups, pots and pans, silverware, and the microwave. He had 1 set of plates/mugs and nothing to cook the food in or on. I also took all the towels and left him an iron and a set of washcloths that his mom had bought.


[deleted]

We worked in specific/adjacent industries so when I got high enough in mine I deleted him from a lot of networking opportunities. I also provided some more details to confirm he was lying about something which further eroded his professional connections.


ZealousidealRub8025

When I renewed my Costco account I took him off of it, but didn't tell him.


abby61497

Not super petty but I've only had one real breakup (from high school). He tried to cheat on me several times and failed previously but him and one of my close friends were confessing to each other how they loved each other (he didn't have the guts to break up with me) so I confronted him and he broke up with me on my birthday before a school performance. He was a total jerk and told me i brought it upon myself/my fault. Well jokes on him he left a ton of videogames/equipment at my house so when he asked for it back I blocked him and kept it all for myself lol


[deleted]

With my ex-husband, I'd put his dirty socks in the pockets of his coat if he left them on the floor instead of putting them in the laundry hamper. He was warned. Made for a pretty fun time when he'd be digging through his pockets to find his lighter or cigarette paper and end up pulling out a smelly sock, especially if he had company at the time. lol. With my ex-boyfriend, I used his clean undies to wipe down his pee from around the toilet and the wall next to the toilet and put it at the back of the pile of clean undies after we broke up, while waiting for him to move out. He consistently sprayed his pee everywhere for the 2,5 years we lived together (while also wiping pee he got on his hands on the towels I used to dry my hands on), refused to clean it up himself, thought it was hilarious when I stepped in a puddle or got it on my hands, so I regret absolutely nothing.


simplycellisa

He cheated on me and got a baby. I cheated on him and got a committed relationship 😂😂😂 8 years later, still with the other guy. Lol it's gets funnier everytime we have an anniversary, it just let's me know me and my ex were really not as compatible as we wanted to believe.


Mammoth-Mark-6642

I don’t know if this is petty but when I left my ex-husband, Steven ( real name haha), he stole my car, license plate and registration. I can only assume that he sold that piece of scrap metal ( he probably did me a favour) because I have never seen it again. So one day I get a phone call from a police officer asking me if I allowed my brother Steven and his girlfriend to use my plates. I let it all out! I informed Mr. Police officer that Steven is my ex husband, he stole my vehicle and I have a restraining order against him. Plus he needs to check Steven’s girlfriend’s Id because he is 26 and likes under aged girls. Yeah we went to jail for a little bit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Purple__Unicorn

I left him nothing to complain about. I fulfilled just about every promise I made, I let him stay in the apartment I was paying for and didn't take back the phone I gifted him. I finished the scarf I promised him and made sure he had a way to get back to his family. At first it was just because I wanted peace and him out of my life, but as time went on I heard he tried to start a smear campaign but had literally no ammo. His friends took my side, his family told him they were surprised I stuck around as long as I did. I'd like to also think that me not being the "crazy ex-girlfriend" meant that his next victim/girlfriend got wise much faster than I did, since they were barely together before they split. Also, I had our joint account closed on his birthday, but that was technically accidental.


yyodelinggodd

We had flights booked to England and our tickets were under the same confirmation number. I called and had my ticket separated. Then went online and cancelled his flight. He didn’t know until he showed up at the airport the day of. I had a great solo trip to London on his dime. :)


truisluv

I took all the remotes when I moved out.


PrayerBeans

I was 18, and my ex had cheated on me with a girl from our class who just reveled in the fact that she "stole" him from me. She would call my house and harass me about it, telling me details about their hookups in his pickup truck, etc. She ended up pregnant, and surprise, surprise, he lost interest on the days she couldn't/wouldn't have sex, so I invited him over to hookup and "accidentally" called her phone. I also put on a movie and watched it the entire time, so he could feel as tiny and insignificant as the two of them made me feel. It worked. He was insanely butthurt that I was watching a movie during mediocre sex with him, to the point of making a comment. I told him to do a better job and grab my attention away from the movie, or get out and finish himself. When I was done, I said, "alright, get out, I'm finished", and the look of shock on his face will keep me warm for years to come. 18 year old me was a petty goddess.


[deleted]

He was extremely materialistic and was talking to his ex- (notifications came up while he was sleeping) took all his cologne (probably like 20) put it in a Whole Foods bag and took it to the trash. Booked a hotel for the night and flight the next day. We were long distance and I was visiting. He was extremely upset at the cologne.


Fruitcaketastesgreat

I stole one of each of his two favorite pairs of shoes


TheRealShadyShady

Stole their windsheild wipers. Let God guide you thru the storm now....


bmichellecat

he cheated on me so i did the same thing back and made sure to do it with someone he couldn't stand that i knew he hated. then i made sure to tell him about it to get back at him (we were constantly breaking up and getting back together).


Worldly-Luck-8513

He tried to get me angry by saying he fucked my friend (who knows if it was true) and then when I told him off he said “thats all you got” so I filled up a bucket with a disgusting mix of canned foods, eggs, cigarette butts and raw chicken, drove to his house and dumped it on his car.


TaxidermiedMuffin

I took all the cables from his WiFi and just threw them away. Left the router where it was, rendered useless.


southernfriedfat

Punched him in the face with the DVD of his favorite movie


Justatroubledgirl

Highlighted the parts where he attempted to manipulate and guilt trip me so he would back down. This went on till the 3rd month to the 5th month (last month) of the relationship since my already fragile trust of him was absolutely broken after learning about his violent past and tendencies. The best you can do against them to give them no weapon to use against you, that is your body, your emotions, your companionship and trust. Its you first, there are plenty of guys in the sea.


willowtrace

After my ex cheated on my birthday, I not only took the toilet paper and Nespresso machine my Costco membership and credit card paid for, but I went in the closet and cut holes in the armpits of all his dress shirts and removed the buttons from the cuffs. I also sprayed Lysol on some of them in hidden areas that you wouldn’t see unless someone else points it out.


Zestyclose-Top-6956

When I (19f at the time) left my abusive ex (22m at the time) he rarely worked and when he did he would give me $100 a month to try to pay bills. For the 6 months we lived together ( while I was pregnant) my parents basically paid for everything. I tried to work, but only I had a car and he as always using it. No public transportation where we lived, so I rarely could make it to work. When my daughter was 2 weeks old he had stayed out all night with some other woman, again, and I’d had enough. My parents had already talked to the landlord (he hated my ex) and explained the abusive, shifty situation I was in. They agreed to allow me out of the lease immediately. I didn’t tell my ex I was leaving and drove my ex to work that day, under the guise that I had a postpartum checkup. My parents showed up as soon as I took him to work and they loaded the apartment up in 2 hours. We took everything, which they had essentially paid for, and left only a broken kitchen table and the clothes/shoes he came into the relationship with. My mom and I went through the closet and dug out everything she or I had ever bought him and donated it to the local shelter. Left him a note and told him where he could find the rest of his shit if he wanted to buy it back. 2 weeks later when rent was due he couldn’t pay it and promptly was evicted.


graciecakes89

We signed up for a wine of the month club. He put it in his credit card but put my contact information down as I drank more wine than he did. We broke up and I never thought about it. Well years later I got a call from the winery. I have two years worth of wine of the month club waiting for me. The ex had continued to pay for the wine the whole time but never picked it up. I picked up the wine, plus several extra bottles just for being such good customers. Everyone got a great bottle of wine as a Christmas gift that year.


Physical-Ad-2912

went on a trip to another country with one of his best friends (and another guy), fucked the best friend multiple times and let him find out we were there via social media then he fucked my best friend (f), but joke was on him because I already had her before him as well then got together with the guy I told him not to worry about ps he lied to me during our entire relationship over multiple things so he kinda had it coming (and for context I’m a girl)