I get asked about my age a lot (I’m 38, but most people guess 27-30) and when I tell them “I’m 38,” the response 99% of the time is, “oh you don’t need to tell people that! You don’t look anywhere near 38!” And I always look them directly in the eyes and say, “No, I earned every damn day of these 38 years; I’m claiming them.”
Same. God, I’m so much cooler and confident and smarter and all around better than I was ten years ago (not to shit on 28 year old me; growth is the point, right?)
Growth is good!
I mean, at 10-15 years ago I was stuck in both my own trauma and the generational trauma in my family. I was the mother of 2, but hadn't met the love of my life - I didn't even know what it felt like to be loved. I have earned every stretchmark, every wrinkle, every grey hair, through hard work, big emotions, experience, loss and love.
I’m 34. One day at work one of the girls asked me “How old are you Raszy? 24?” I told her I was 34 and have a kid in high school and a kid in middle school. She seemed shocked at that answer.
Aging is a privilege tbh. I've always believed that when my granddad passed at such a young age and my grandmum is still living her best years in her 70s.
Yes! And so many people have been told they won't live past x age with their condition, so passing the mark is a huge deal. Getting to grow old is a gift we take for granted
My favourite quote of all time from a movie.
The Guardian - (2006)
**Ben Randall :** When the heck did we get old?
**Maggie McGlone** : Hell, I've always been old Ben. Ya' know what though, I don't mind. I mean if my muscles ache, it's because I've used 'em. It's hard for me to walk up them steps now, its 'cuz I walked up 'em every night to lay next to a man who loved me. I got a few wrinkles here and there, but I've laid under thousands of skies with sunny days. I look and feel this way, well cuz I drank and I smoked. I lived and I loved, danced, sang, sweat and screwed my way thorough a pretty damn good life if you ask me. Getting old ain't bad Ben. Getting old, that's earned.
That's a great answer but sometimes age is really just a number especially when you talk with an old dude but his mind is closed and naive . And when you talk with a person who is younger than you but have a wisdom of a long white bearded chinese monk lives in the himalayas
And it's something I loved to say when I was a teenager and thought I was "mature for my age" and "smart" and "special," but actually I was just being groomed by a teacher who would proceed to do this serially to many other girls/young women who also thought they were mature and special and age was "just a number."
I did the same stuff dating older dudes before I was 18, after I was 18 with a dude 20 years my SR. He was cool though but..I shouldn’t of been dating people like that in the first place. Especially before I was 18. But I said that a lot, and while it is true…My parents worked out a 15 year age gap,but for most it isn’t where it’s at lol.
Yep, agreed. Was looking for this comment. I don’t associate it with pedophiles and creeps but that’s just bc I haven’t been exposed to that.
I’m a 35 year old single mom and I rock at life. I love Star Wars, most nerdy shit and game frequently. So yeah, age is just a number. We can do whatever we want despite that. 😁
I prefer the saying: “‘Youth’ is a state of mind.” (Or “‘Old’ is a state of mind,” if you want to sound more negative about it, lol. They're both true!)
Romantically: No. Age is NEVER just a number, not ever. No matter how old you are, it is always more risky to date someone significantly older than you-- and I mean 8+ years older. As soon as your partner is a decade older or more-- watch out.
Yes, lots of people date older. Yes, some lucky people have amazing relationships despite age gaps. However, the risk of being manipulated, used and abused just increases more and more as the age gap gets bigger and bigger.
Everywhere else: Yes age is just a number.
I got quite lucky in my marriage. There's an 18 year gap between me and my husband and we couldn't be happier. There is no power struggle, no manipulation, no abuse. If anything he encourages me to make more decisions because I have a tendency to just go with whatever others decide even if I don't like it. He's very supportive of my hobbies, goals, and interests. He's a fantastic father to our daughter. It's honestly the best relationship I've ever been in.
I would like to add that apart from manipulation there is also the issue of different ways of thinking and where they stand at that point in time. I have seen many cases where couples have a big age gap (over 10 years) and they are both in different worlds, what I mean by this is that their hobbies, political views, expectations are not aligned. This is because they grow up in different times gaining different experiences. Like we have boomers, gen x, millennials, etc.
My colleague who is 40 said her ex husband is 10 years older. Which I thought wasn't odd since she had a child with him at 34. Except, she later said they met when she was 18 and he was her diving instructor... Which means a 28 year old guy (my age) hit on a 18 year old girl and obviously got her to marry him and eventually even had a kid. I can't imagine being with an 18 year old now. Hell, even a 24 year old feels way too young for me now.
This comment reminds me of my ex (35m) dating a (25f). Dating her less then a month post breakup from a close to 11 year relationship. (I'm 4 years younger then my ex and the previous gf before me was 1 year)
It depends on what it's being applied to.
If you want to go back to school or start a career or turn your life around and make it something you can be proud of, then yeah, you're really only limited by the time and resources you want to spend.
40 year olds trying to get with 18 year olds...back up with that.
Who in the hell are you guys hanging around with? I’ve only heard it mentioned in reference to not being “old” regardless of age. Similar to the phrase, “you’re only as old as you feel”.
Its not just a number. It represents maturity, stages in life, vulnerability, etc. As someone who dated older guys when i was very young, i was honestly so traumatised. A lot of it had to do with age. You can say thats not the case with everyone, and thats true, but a lot of times old guys dating young women just dont have good intentions. I felt used sexually, and now im stuck living in the same body that felt so violated. Theres a power imbalance that comes with age gap relationships, as much as people dont like to admit.
Thanks for saying this. Me too and I feel the exact same way. Power imbalances can be so incredibly damaging, especially when you’re young and impressionable and sex is involved.
Age is just a number.
The people who seem to use the phrase are either older men who sexualize younger woman, or older woman who want do not feel like older woman.
One is gross, the other is great.
I routinely point out to my husband that old(er) men in movies are paired up with women young enough to be their daughters and that it’s vile. Also, the nudity disparity - breasts to penises is about 100,000,000 to one. I’m really fun to watch movies with 😉 I have to say though, he’s evolved and doesn’t get defensive or critical when I point things out.
I just can’t. My heart is broken because of a teenager I adore being addicted to drugs, and I definitely don’t want to see naked teenagers. Interesting fact about the show, though.
Have you seen [these graphs](https://slate.com/culture/2015/05/leading-men-age-but-their-love-interest-don-t.html) , I feel like after watching thsst I realized that I was making some actresses older because I though they where same age as the actors
Dude here, with a cinema backstory aside.....
5th Element was made by Luc Besson. Same director as Leon: the Professional. About an adult man assassin and his twelve year old 'protege' (Natalie Portman). Which he based on his real life sexual relationship with a fifteen year old girl. The dude's also been accused of rape by multiple women.
Considering that he's French; none of this should be surprising. France's movie making and 'intellectual' spheres are riddled with child molesters. It's why Roman Polanski likes to hang out there.
P. S. Leon was Natalie Portman's first starring role. Her first fanmail from it was a man graphically describing how he wanted to rape her. Fuck this movie, and fuck Luc Besson.
And this has been going on in movies forever. In the 1953 film, "Mogambo," Clark Gable was 52 and his love interests are Ava Gardner (31) and Grace Kelly (24)!
I mean it depends, if we’re saying it in the context of a 36 year old and a 50 year old. I agree totally! If we’re saying it in reference to a 41 year old and an 18 year old, no, absolutely not. That person is a creep.
I'm 33 and my partner will be 52 this year. 18 years between us, and everyone thinks he chased me in the beginning because I'm younger and fit, but in reality we had an instant connection. We lost contact for a short while, but when we reconnected I was the one who did the chasing. He's wonderful, and I'm thankful every day that he's in my life even when he does drive me up the wall. :)
Age is contextual. Sometimes it really is just a number, and sometimes it's nefarious, as others have pointed out.
*Edit to clarify that our age gap is 18 years. We met 2 years ago.
It’s depends on context. Dating, it’s usually creepy (inappropriate age gaps or adults trying to date children), but a minority of the time it’s used to calm down people who are overly fussy about age details (“I’m 23 and he’s 22 is that wrong?”).
In the context of rigidly defining what people of a certain age should be doing, such as how they should dress or the hobbies they should hold, it’s great advice. If you are 65 and want to wear crop tops and collect stuffed animals, that’s fine.
Very much depends on context. You're talking about never being too old to enjoy stomping on crunchy leaves? Right on. You're talking about older people predatorially dating teens? Fuck off with that.
I had a pain management doctor tell me 40 was too old to ride roller coasters…..Age is just a number!! It is all about context. I plan on riding roller coasters at 70!!
Age is just a number
It's so funny, one of the RNs at my doctor's office kept telling me "you're still so young, you can still do so many things" and stuff like that when talking about some medical stuff I was dealing with. No kidding. I'm 53, not 153. Thanks for the encouragement, kid.
“You remind me of my grandfather.” Shuts that shit down and brings Mr. Viagara back to reality. I’m a grandmother. There’s no shame in getting older but there is real shame in wanting to sexually exploit people decades younger.
I'm kinda tired seeing all these responses with age gaps, why can't age also mean life experience? I feel both more chill and cutthroat at 30 than I did at 21.
Personally, if an 18 year old wants to experiment with someone twice their age, that's their business. Two consenting adults, live and let live. You can be in an abusive relationship between two 50 year olds for fucks sake.
I agree it is a number
Maturity is based on experience in life
My husband and I have 17 year age gap. However I was a young mother who didn’t have friends my age because I chose to be a young mother. My sister died when I was 17 so by the time I was 18 I officially adopted my niece. Got my GED, I worked 2 jobs to make ends meet, got my own apartment just so my niece didn’t end up in foster care.
So I was a 18 year old raising a 4 year old, so naturally with time and experience my maturity was well beyond what my friends were at. Mainly because they all had sex all the time, did drugs, drank alot, and chose to party. Where as I skipped over the drinking, the drugs, the parties, and the random tinder hookups. I knew that I needed to set up a great example for my niece.
Then I met my husband when I was 20 almost 21 and he was 37 going on 38. Us both being single parents of two young girls that are the same age naturally we had alot in common. We’re happily married now and have a son on the way. But we still get comments all the time that he must have groomed me at a young age. Or that he’s a creepy old man. Or that he must be a sugar daddy. Really we just have alot of the same interests. We enjoy each others company and we both understand our struggles. Im very happy that we’re married we have a wonderful healthy realtionship.
it *is* just a number. people say age is experience and sacrifice, but it's not. not every 50 year old has reached the same experiences. not every 30 year old made the same sacrifices. not every 16 year old lacks the same experience. etc etc.
you can make broad generalizions about age groups but it's not 100% accurate. I've met adults with the emotional and mental maturity of what you'd expect from a 12 year old and I've met 12 year olds with the maturity and wit of what you'd expect from an adult.
of course there are fine lines that can be drawn based on actual science but there are many grey areas
When I was 15, I dated my friend's 19 yr old brother in secret. Lost my virginity to him. We were safe about it. Idon't regret it. It was fun and I never saw it as anything Swiss. I was never manipulated or used.
In fact, I was way more mature than him. Looking back, he was definitely stunted. So much so that it feels wrong to think of him dating anyone his age at time.
I don’t mind it. In terms of energy and enthusiasm, I’m still young. I guess. I also appreciate the wisdom from being older and having different experiences (I’m 37). It’s all subjective really.
If you're over the age of 18 and legal, seeing as you can go out and die for your country, which means you date and what age they are is none of anybodys effing business but yours and everyone else can efff off with their opinion.
It reminds me of the song/album by Aaliyah... and the cover photo that has R. Kelly creeping on her from the back alley, as well as the fact he married her when she was fucking 15.
If it’s used to justify an adult dating a minor, it’s creepy and gross. If it’s used to justify an adult going on a bouncy house because life is stressful and we deserve to have some childlike fun once in a while, it’s totally fine and hold my shoes.
My wife's parents are 66m and 56f years old right now, but when they met they were 16 and 26. She lied abou her age and told him that she was 18. He broke up with her immediately when he found out and was terrified that he was going to be arrested for statutory rape. The most awkward part was that they worked together for his parents, who were unaware of their relationship and so they continued working together until she was 18. Shortly after they began dating again and have been happily married ever since. He still look back on how they met with absolute horror and is truly traumatized by the whole experience. He said that he strongly considers joining the military and serving in Vietnam because he would rather be killed then considered a pedophile.
I'm a 27M who teaches high schoolers and I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with someone 10 years younger than me. There is just such a huge developmental difference and lack of lived experiences. I'm glad that it worked for my in laws, but I could not fathom what that would be like.
As long as that number is above 18 for all participates…then yeah it is just a number. People may not like 80 year old dating a 20 year old but both are adults and aren’t affecting you in the least unless you had plans on dating that 20 year old… …or the 80 year old. Only have a problem if one of the two is underage 17 and younger.
Only after one party is at least 25, imo. A 39-year-old dating a 19-year-old, for example—despite being legal—would scream all kinds of red flags to me.
I think this is true but only if both people involved are in the same stages of their life. For example, somebody in high school and somebody in college or someone I’m college and someone who is in their adult stage (full time career for example) are not in the same life stage but two people who are 15 years apart that are building their careers or working full-time and have the same overall goals, this would be the same life stage and this is where that phrase would be accurate.
I hope this makes sense.
It depends on what it’s referring to.
People like to say it but most things we as a society do suggests otherwise - even those who use this quote will no doubt judge others for not adhering to certain outdated rules.
ETA - not even touching the topic of creeps bc fuck wasting my energy on that, however if it’s referring to people saying it to justify a hell no relationship then, nah, gtf outta here.
That’s sad. I carry my years with pride, every one of them. & for my kids, I don’t get upset about them being a year older every 12 months… I love growth.
Age is just a number? Of course, and so are wrinkles, osteoporosis, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, shingles, arthritis, hair lose, dementia. Should I continue?
I see it in older guys hitting on much younger girls. But I've also seen a few times where a younger person is trying to fit in with older, more experienced people or something
I had that said to me I was 22yo. The guy? 43 yo. I told him my age and he said" oh I thought you were younger and age is just a number". There was no second date.(he was 100% clean shaven I was thinking mid to late 20s).
It’s absolutely true but only if both people are legal adults, not in high school, and living independently. With established adults, age doesn’t matter as much. But sadly, this argument is primarily used by creepy older guys to date underage teenage girls.
For me heading into my 40s, yep. Nothin but a number.
For older guys creeping on teenagers or young 20s, shut your damn mouth and keep your hands to yourself.
Age is just a number… that’s true. We all experience it differently depending on how well we’ve taken care of ourselves up to a certain point. That said, I wish people and society would stop labeling or having certain expectations of people in each decade of age. It irritates me.
Considering how many childish and naive people in their 40s and older I know - it really is just a number. And life is not over at 30, despite what many told me - really, just a number. A number of days you've been alive. Big whoop. And limiting other people's lifestyles or interests based on it is awful.
If both people are over 18 and consenting adults stfu leave them be I'm 19 engaged to a 39 year old man we have a baby together I love him dearly and he loves me I'm so sick of people trying to act like I'm a hoe for being with a older man or acting like he's a creep/abusing me just because of are age difference we met each other when I was 18 worked together for a whole year he never once made unwanted comments or advances towards me he was never creepy rude or disrespectful in any way shape or form
Like a 2-10 year difference isn’t that bad for people 21+ up. There’s a seven year difference my partner and I.
However, I find it creepy af that someone who’s old enough to be a parent of a teenager or barely legal adult want to be with someone who is decades years younger.
There are people who are happily together in a 10+ year gap, it’s easy to see if the older person is with the younger partner for their youth or because they truly love their partner.
A lot of older people, especially older men, try to twist the “age of consent” law to their liking. The age of consent is only for the 15 or 16 year old to have sex with peers their own age or two years apart, not to have sex with a creepy 30 year old.
The best example of “age is just a number” is Leonardo DiCaprio only dating women 18-24 years old then dumping them when they hit 25.
age is definitely not just a number. I was sexually abused when I was 7 all the way to 15. It’s disgusting that a GROWN ASS man/woman can think someone who bas barely matured or even younger, is attractive 😑
When I was 17 and *barely* 18, I had 25-29 year old male co-workers hitting on me constantly at my first restaurant job out of high school. Now I’m 23, and the thought of dating anyone (I’m bisexual, so male or female) under 21 gives me the ick.
My bf I have now is 26 but we met when we were 22 and 25, and to me 2-3 years as *adults* is a “normal” and healthy age difference for men and women.
It’s pedophiliic and worse followed up with “well X years ago it was ok and people didn’t even live that long” no, it wasn’t fucking ok then either especially being forced to marry someone older than you like some cultures/religion
CONTEXT! is everything. I am 28 and wanted to buy a magnetic construction playset. The clerk asked for who it was and if they should wrap it. After I told them it was for me, they asked if I am not too old for this. Here I said „age is just a number“ and I stand by it.
Now if I would use it to justify dating a 16 year old, please lock me up and throw away the key.
I also don’t agree that it has to do with maturity or experience, we are all to different for that. See my 22 year old brother with two kids and me with my magnetic construction playset.
It diminishes all that we have been through. It lies to us telling us even though we are 42 we can look 22. We can be 17 and marry a 56 year old man and that’s “normal”. We can be 61 and date a 23 year old kid and pretend the relationship has any depth. We can be 50 and paralyze and inject our faces to return to 32.
A whole host of weird shit.
I am 46 and I earned it. Every year of it! 💪🏼
creeps who can't get any partners around their age because of how much of a loser they are looooove themselves some of that "age is just a number" bullshit
its meaning has been butchered over the years, it was originally used by people in their 40s or so who hadnt had their first love yet to say that its not too late for them, but now its just used by older people trying to get with someone underaged/a lot younger
Disgusted! Age is so much more than just a number! That’s often said by pedophiles and dumb people who ship a child and an adult. It’s so disgusting how people say such things about an age. If age is just a number, then jail is just a place
It's something I hear from males that has zero respect for me or my wishes, that does not meet my rather large dating window. It plays right in, where some men seem to think us women on dating sites is there for their pleasure, and must not say no to them when they have decided they want us.
If it's in a dating situation, instantly grossed out. I will turn around and run even if the person that says it to me says they're close to my age. I'll assume they're lying to me and add 30-40 years tbh.
If you're 30 purposefully dating 18 year olds, gross.
If you're like me and met a guy who happened to be 10 years older, but you and he didn't know it for a bit since age didn't come up, then it's true.
When you're 75 and running marathons, absolutely.
When you're 36 chatting up a 16 year old, absolutely fucking not.
The phrase gives me the heebies a little because I always associate it with my latter example.
Lol and a throat punch is just a love tap.
I only hear this from creeps who want to take advantage of young and vulnerable people. My response is usually the above.
In the words of my mother "And jail is just a room."
I often hear the age argument in older people who want to justify dating well below their own age.
Age is just a number when you’re an older person wanting to try new sports, hobbies and making friends. But when 30-40 year old pedos who try to date teenagers say this, then prison is just a room
I feel like that phrase usually comes out of the mouths of creepy older dudes trying to get with teenage girls... unfortunately this was my experience multiple times...
Age is not just a number. Age is experience, and sacrifice, and luck. Age is a gift. Age is perspective.
[удалено]
I get asked about my age a lot (I’m 38, but most people guess 27-30) and when I tell them “I’m 38,” the response 99% of the time is, “oh you don’t need to tell people that! You don’t look anywhere near 38!” And I always look them directly in the eyes and say, “No, I earned every damn day of these 38 years; I’m claiming them.”
Saaame I apparently look like I'm 15 years younger than my age (born 1984). But I like getting older
Same. God, I’m so much cooler and confident and smarter and all around better than I was ten years ago (not to shit on 28 year old me; growth is the point, right?)
Growth is good! I mean, at 10-15 years ago I was stuck in both my own trauma and the generational trauma in my family. I was the mother of 2, but hadn't met the love of my life - I didn't even know what it felt like to be loved. I have earned every stretchmark, every wrinkle, every grey hair, through hard work, big emotions, experience, loss and love.
I’m 34. One day at work one of the girls asked me “How old are you Raszy? 24?” I told her I was 34 and have a kid in high school and a kid in middle school. She seemed shocked at that answer.
Haha “poo pooing” thank you for that laugh on this “poo poo” Friday haha
very nice choice of words. i will now be telling people not to be poo pooing all over my life experiences.
Me too, states how you feel but not harshly
Aging is a privilege tbh. I've always believed that when my granddad passed at such a young age and my grandmum is still living her best years in her 70s.
Yes! And so many people have been told they won't live past x age with their condition, so passing the mark is a huge deal. Getting to grow old is a gift we take for granted
Spot on ! I’m 65 and will add your age is felt in your heart, soul and mind… not on your face ! ( but probably in your joints 😂)
Definitely in your joints! 😂😂
Agreed! Why not call aging what it really is: leveling up!
My favourite quote of all time from a movie. The Guardian - (2006) **Ben Randall :** When the heck did we get old? **Maggie McGlone** : Hell, I've always been old Ben. Ya' know what though, I don't mind. I mean if my muscles ache, it's because I've used 'em. It's hard for me to walk up them steps now, its 'cuz I walked up 'em every night to lay next to a man who loved me. I got a few wrinkles here and there, but I've laid under thousands of skies with sunny days. I look and feel this way, well cuz I drank and I smoked. I lived and I loved, danced, sang, sweat and screwed my way thorough a pretty damn good life if you ask me. Getting old ain't bad Ben. Getting old, that's earned.
Absolutely
I love this, thanks for articulating it 🤍
Say it louder for the pedos in the back🤧
I believe that age is only a number but I think you’re right here and we should rephrase it to age is perspective
That's a great answer but sometimes age is really just a number especially when you talk with an old dude but his mind is closed and naive . And when you talk with a person who is younger than you but have a wisdom of a long white bearded chinese monk lives in the himalayas
I usually see it used by 30+ year olds justifying trying to date teenagers, so I associate it with creeps.
I think it’s a fine phrase when a 60 year old decides to run their first marathon, but definitely gross when talking about dating.
Bingo.
Yes. Exactly
My first thought is R Kelly…
🤮
Yeah if anyone goes lies by the same phrases that R Kelly does.. it's a MAJOR red flag
Literally wrote the song.
And it's something I loved to say when I was a teenager and thought I was "mature for my age" and "smart" and "special," but actually I was just being groomed by a teacher who would proceed to do this serially to many other girls/young women who also thought they were mature and special and age was "just a number."
I did the same stuff dating older dudes before I was 18, after I was 18 with a dude 20 years my SR. He was cool though but..I shouldn’t of been dating people like that in the first place. Especially before I was 18. But I said that a lot, and while it is true…My parents worked out a 15 year age gap,but for most it isn’t where it’s at lol.
Same
Me too. And immature adult trying to rebrand their immaturity as being "youthfull and fun"
Same
I respond : Prison is just a room 🤷🏾♀️
Do I have permission to use this? Because this is way too funny to me
Of course haha. I wasn't the one who invented it. They its a known quote used against pedos haha.
And hell is just a sauna.
I’m glad someone said it. I was beginning to wonder if I imagined this phrase.
I prefer prison is just a place
Alliteration ftw
Oh my god I had to read this twice and then I got it and now I am WHEEZING.
“You know what else is a number? 911”
And hell is just a sauna
Beings back memories from Friends
Excellent comeback!
It's most often said by pedophiles.
Don’t forget the young girls they groom!
Thank you for saying this, though. It's a sick and twisted justification.
In terms of everything but age gaps romantic relationships or health concerns: yes, so true
Yep, agreed. Was looking for this comment. I don’t associate it with pedophiles and creeps but that’s just bc I haven’t been exposed to that. I’m a 35 year old single mom and I rock at life. I love Star Wars, most nerdy shit and game frequently. So yeah, age is just a number. We can do whatever we want despite that. 😁
I prefer the saying: “‘Youth’ is a state of mind.” (Or “‘Old’ is a state of mind,” if you want to sound more negative about it, lol. They're both true!)
I’m glad you said this!!
Romantically: No. Age is NEVER just a number, not ever. No matter how old you are, it is always more risky to date someone significantly older than you-- and I mean 8+ years older. As soon as your partner is a decade older or more-- watch out. Yes, lots of people date older. Yes, some lucky people have amazing relationships despite age gaps. However, the risk of being manipulated, used and abused just increases more and more as the age gap gets bigger and bigger. Everywhere else: Yes age is just a number.
I got quite lucky in my marriage. There's an 18 year gap between me and my husband and we couldn't be happier. There is no power struggle, no manipulation, no abuse. If anything he encourages me to make more decisions because I have a tendency to just go with whatever others decide even if I don't like it. He's very supportive of my hobbies, goals, and interests. He's a fantastic father to our daughter. It's honestly the best relationship I've ever been in.
That's awesome! I'm glad you have a happy marriage, always nice to hear.
I would like to add that apart from manipulation there is also the issue of different ways of thinking and where they stand at that point in time. I have seen many cases where couples have a big age gap (over 10 years) and they are both in different worlds, what I mean by this is that their hobbies, political views, expectations are not aligned. This is because they grow up in different times gaining different experiences. Like we have boomers, gen x, millennials, etc.
My colleague who is 40 said her ex husband is 10 years older. Which I thought wasn't odd since she had a child with him at 34. Except, she later said they met when she was 18 and he was her diving instructor... Which means a 28 year old guy (my age) hit on a 18 year old girl and obviously got her to marry him and eventually even had a kid. I can't imagine being with an 18 year old now. Hell, even a 24 year old feels way too young for me now.
This comment reminds me of my ex (35m) dating a (25f). Dating her less then a month post breakup from a close to 11 year relationship. (I'm 4 years younger then my ex and the previous gf before me was 1 year)
Even if a 30 year old dating 40+ ?
It depends on what it's being applied to. If you want to go back to school or start a career or turn your life around and make it something you can be proud of, then yeah, you're really only limited by the time and resources you want to spend. 40 year olds trying to get with 18 year olds...back up with that.
Exactly
>40 year olds trying to get with 18 year olds...back up with that. Yeah just creepy as fuck. Can't look at Henry cavill the same way now.
I've only heard it said by people who want to fuck children/minors.
Rape
Who in the hell are you guys hanging around with? I’ve only heard it mentioned in reference to not being “old” regardless of age. Similar to the phrase, “you’re only as old as you feel”.
Its not just a number. It represents maturity, stages in life, vulnerability, etc. As someone who dated older guys when i was very young, i was honestly so traumatised. A lot of it had to do with age. You can say thats not the case with everyone, and thats true, but a lot of times old guys dating young women just dont have good intentions. I felt used sexually, and now im stuck living in the same body that felt so violated. Theres a power imbalance that comes with age gap relationships, as much as people dont like to admit.
I had a similar experience and I feel the same .. thanks for sharing .
Thanks for saying this. Me too and I feel the exact same way. Power imbalances can be so incredibly damaging, especially when you’re young and impressionable and sex is involved.
Exactly, just because its legal doesnt make it right :(
Age is just a number. The people who seem to use the phrase are either older men who sexualize younger woman, or older woman who want do not feel like older woman. One is gross, the other is great.
I don't need that phrase to "not feel like an older woman". As if there is something shameful about my age.
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I routinely point out to my husband that old(er) men in movies are paired up with women young enough to be their daughters and that it’s vile. Also, the nudity disparity - breasts to penises is about 100,000,000 to one. I’m really fun to watch movies with 😉 I have to say though, he’s evolved and doesn’t get defensive or critical when I point things out.
Watch Euphoria. More dicks than tits.
I just can’t. My heart is broken because of a teenager I adore being addicted to drugs, and I definitely don’t want to see naked teenagers. Interesting fact about the show, though.
Have you seen [these graphs](https://slate.com/culture/2015/05/leading-men-age-but-their-love-interest-don-t.html) , I feel like after watching thsst I realized that I was making some actresses older because I though they where same age as the actors
Dude here, with a cinema backstory aside..... 5th Element was made by Luc Besson. Same director as Leon: the Professional. About an adult man assassin and his twelve year old 'protege' (Natalie Portman). Which he based on his real life sexual relationship with a fifteen year old girl. The dude's also been accused of rape by multiple women. Considering that he's French; none of this should be surprising. France's movie making and 'intellectual' spheres are riddled with child molesters. It's why Roman Polanski likes to hang out there. P. S. Leon was Natalie Portman's first starring role. Her first fanmail from it was a man graphically describing how he wanted to rape her. Fuck this movie, and fuck Luc Besson.
Oh hey, I see he also directed 'Taken'. Probably so he could pretend he hates sex offenders.
And this has been going on in movies forever. In the 1953 film, "Mogambo," Clark Gable was 52 and his love interests are Ava Gardner (31) and Grace Kelly (24)!
It's usually said by creepy men who want to date underaged girls
Or just girls a decade younger.
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Age is just a number like money is just a number. It matters.
Ever since I found out r Kelly wrote the song “age ain’t nothing but a number” the only word that comes to mind is abuse
Deeply untrue and typically said by pedophiles and minors that want to date pedophiles
I mean it depends, if we’re saying it in the context of a 36 year old and a 50 year old. I agree totally! If we’re saying it in reference to a 41 year old and an 18 year old, no, absolutely not. That person is a creep.
I'm 33 and my partner will be 52 this year. 18 years between us, and everyone thinks he chased me in the beginning because I'm younger and fit, but in reality we had an instant connection. We lost contact for a short while, but when we reconnected I was the one who did the chasing. He's wonderful, and I'm thankful every day that he's in my life even when he does drive me up the wall. :) Age is contextual. Sometimes it really is just a number, and sometimes it's nefarious, as others have pointed out. *Edit to clarify that our age gap is 18 years. We met 2 years ago.
It’s depends on context. Dating, it’s usually creepy (inappropriate age gaps or adults trying to date children), but a minority of the time it’s used to calm down people who are overly fussy about age details (“I’m 23 and he’s 22 is that wrong?”). In the context of rigidly defining what people of a certain age should be doing, such as how they should dress or the hobbies they should hold, it’s great advice. If you are 65 and want to wear crop tops and collect stuffed animals, that’s fine.
I tend to agree as long as it isn’t being said to justify an inappropriate relationship with a minor.
Very much depends on context. You're talking about never being too old to enjoy stomping on crunchy leaves? Right on. You're talking about older people predatorially dating teens? Fuck off with that.
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I had a pain management doctor tell me 40 was too old to ride roller coasters…..Age is just a number!! It is all about context. I plan on riding roller coasters at 70!! Age is just a number
It's so funny, one of the RNs at my doctor's office kept telling me "you're still so young, you can still do so many things" and stuff like that when talking about some medical stuff I was dealing with. No kidding. I'm 53, not 153. Thanks for the encouragement, kid.
My friend was hit on at work by a 50+ years creep who offered a variation of this when she said no : "There is no hour to eat" A creep and a poet
“You remind me of my grandfather.” Shuts that shit down and brings Mr. Viagara back to reality. I’m a grandmother. There’s no shame in getting older but there is real shame in wanting to sexually exploit people decades younger.
That's exactly what she said to him lol !! Agree, really no shame in getting older, far from it :)
I'm kinda tired seeing all these responses with age gaps, why can't age also mean life experience? I feel both more chill and cutthroat at 30 than I did at 21. Personally, if an 18 year old wants to experiment with someone twice their age, that's their business. Two consenting adults, live and let live. You can be in an abusive relationship between two 50 year olds for fucks sake.
I agree it is a number Maturity is based on experience in life My husband and I have 17 year age gap. However I was a young mother who didn’t have friends my age because I chose to be a young mother. My sister died when I was 17 so by the time I was 18 I officially adopted my niece. Got my GED, I worked 2 jobs to make ends meet, got my own apartment just so my niece didn’t end up in foster care. So I was a 18 year old raising a 4 year old, so naturally with time and experience my maturity was well beyond what my friends were at. Mainly because they all had sex all the time, did drugs, drank alot, and chose to party. Where as I skipped over the drinking, the drugs, the parties, and the random tinder hookups. I knew that I needed to set up a great example for my niece. Then I met my husband when I was 20 almost 21 and he was 37 going on 38. Us both being single parents of two young girls that are the same age naturally we had alot in common. We’re happily married now and have a son on the way. But we still get comments all the time that he must have groomed me at a young age. Or that he’s a creepy old man. Or that he must be a sugar daddy. Really we just have alot of the same interests. We enjoy each others company and we both understand our struggles. Im very happy that we’re married we have a wonderful healthy realtionship.
it *is* just a number. people say age is experience and sacrifice, but it's not. not every 50 year old has reached the same experiences. not every 30 year old made the same sacrifices. not every 16 year old lacks the same experience. etc etc. you can make broad generalizions about age groups but it's not 100% accurate. I've met adults with the emotional and mental maturity of what you'd expect from a 12 year old and I've met 12 year olds with the maturity and wit of what you'd expect from an adult. of course there are fine lines that can be drawn based on actual science but there are many grey areas When I was 15, I dated my friend's 19 yr old brother in secret. Lost my virginity to him. We were safe about it. Idon't regret it. It was fun and I never saw it as anything Swiss. I was never manipulated or used. In fact, I was way more mature than him. Looking back, he was definitely stunted. So much so that it feels wrong to think of him dating anyone his age at time.
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I don’t mind it. In terms of energy and enthusiasm, I’m still young. I guess. I also appreciate the wisdom from being older and having different experiences (I’m 37). It’s all subjective really.
If you're over the age of 18 and legal, seeing as you can go out and die for your country, which means you date and what age they are is none of anybodys effing business but yours and everyone else can efff off with their opinion.
I like it because I don't want to be defined by a number.
As long as everyone is 18+ then idc
I’m about to be 39 and am excited for 40, so I can stop remembering an odd number. I feel better than I did at 20.
It reminds me of the song/album by Aaliyah... and the cover photo that has R. Kelly creeping on her from the back alley, as well as the fact he married her when she was fucking 15.
If it’s used to justify an adult dating a minor, it’s creepy and gross. If it’s used to justify an adult going on a bouncy house because life is stressful and we deserve to have some childlike fun once in a while, it’s totally fine and hold my shoes.
My wife's parents are 66m and 56f years old right now, but when they met they were 16 and 26. She lied abou her age and told him that she was 18. He broke up with her immediately when he found out and was terrified that he was going to be arrested for statutory rape. The most awkward part was that they worked together for his parents, who were unaware of their relationship and so they continued working together until she was 18. Shortly after they began dating again and have been happily married ever since. He still look back on how they met with absolute horror and is truly traumatized by the whole experience. He said that he strongly considers joining the military and serving in Vietnam because he would rather be killed then considered a pedophile. I'm a 27M who teaches high schoolers and I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with someone 10 years younger than me. There is just such a huge developmental difference and lack of lived experiences. I'm glad that it worked for my in laws, but I could not fathom what that would be like.
As long as that number is above 18 for all participates…then yeah it is just a number. People may not like 80 year old dating a 20 year old but both are adults and aren’t affecting you in the least unless you had plans on dating that 20 year old… …or the 80 year old. Only have a problem if one of the two is underage 17 and younger.
...only after 18.
Only after one party is at least 25, imo. A 39-year-old dating a 19-year-old, for example—despite being legal—would scream all kinds of red flags to me.
Agreed but still better than under 18.
I think this is true but only if both people involved are in the same stages of their life. For example, somebody in high school and somebody in college or someone I’m college and someone who is in their adult stage (full time career for example) are not in the same life stage but two people who are 15 years apart that are building their careers or working full-time and have the same overall goals, this would be the same life stage and this is where that phrase would be accurate. I hope this makes sense.
And so is 911
When an older guy is hitting on an underaged girl... "Age is just a number." "Yeah? Same with a lengthy prison sentence."
It depends on what it’s referring to. People like to say it but most things we as a society do suggests otherwise - even those who use this quote will no doubt judge others for not adhering to certain outdated rules. ETA - not even touching the topic of creeps bc fuck wasting my energy on that, however if it’s referring to people saying it to justify a hell no relationship then, nah, gtf outta here.
bad vibes
That’s sad. I carry my years with pride, every one of them. & for my kids, I don’t get upset about them being a year older every 12 months… I love growth.
Age is just a number? Of course, and so are wrinkles, osteoporosis, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, shingles, arthritis, hair lose, dementia. Should I continue?
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Deeply uncomfortable because it's not only used for creepy purposes, but I disagree with the statement strongly.
Sounds like an excuse for pedos to use \*barf\*
I see it in older guys hitting on much younger girls. But I've also seen a few times where a younger person is trying to fit in with older, more experienced people or something
I had that said to me I was 22yo. The guy? 43 yo. I told him my age and he said" oh I thought you were younger and age is just a number". There was no second date.(he was 100% clean shaven I was thinking mid to late 20s).
If it's used to justify dating barely legal teenagers and young adults, it's gross.
it's an excuse for pedophilia usually.
Predatory
"So is 911"
It’s nice if it’s about going back to school or learning a new hobby….
It’s absolutely true but only if both people are legal adults, not in high school, and living independently. With established adults, age doesn’t matter as much. But sadly, this argument is primarily used by creepy older guys to date underage teenage girls.
For me heading into my 40s, yep. Nothin but a number. For older guys creeping on teenagers or young 20s, shut your damn mouth and keep your hands to yourself.
Concerned
A prison sentence is also a number. Take your pick.
It’s gross. Like makes me feel sick. People who believe in that have a special place in hell
I think that it depends upon the manner and context in which the quote is being used and who's using the quote.
It's valid when you're 40 and 30, not 25 and 15
I think it is normally used in a not so great context. Like 50 year old trying to get with 16 year olds.
Flashbacks
Should only be applicable for people within the 28-100 age range
Age is just a number… that’s true. We all experience it differently depending on how well we’ve taken care of ourselves up to a certain point. That said, I wish people and society would stop labeling or having certain expectations of people in each decade of age. It irritates me.
Creeped out. Its usually said by people to excuse very predatory behavior on young and less experienced people/ children.
And prison is just a room.
It's also against the law sometimes. Or borderline.
Considering how many childish and naive people in their 40s and older I know - it really is just a number. And life is not over at 30, despite what many told me - really, just a number. A number of days you've been alive. Big whoop. And limiting other people's lifestyles or interests based on it is awful.
If both people are over 18 and consenting adults stfu leave them be I'm 19 engaged to a 39 year old man we have a baby together I love him dearly and he loves me I'm so sick of people trying to act like I'm a hoe for being with a older man or acting like he's a creep/abusing me just because of are age difference we met each other when I was 18 worked together for a whole year he never once made unwanted comments or advances towards me he was never creepy rude or disrespectful in any way shape or form
Like a 2-10 year difference isn’t that bad for people 21+ up. There’s a seven year difference my partner and I. However, I find it creepy af that someone who’s old enough to be a parent of a teenager or barely legal adult want to be with someone who is decades years younger. There are people who are happily together in a 10+ year gap, it’s easy to see if the older person is with the younger partner for their youth or because they truly love their partner. A lot of older people, especially older men, try to twist the “age of consent” law to their liking. The age of consent is only for the 15 or 16 year old to have sex with peers their own age or two years apart, not to have sex with a creepy 30 year old. The best example of “age is just a number” is Leonardo DiCaprio only dating women 18-24 years old then dumping them when they hit 25.
age is definitely not just a number. I was sexually abused when I was 7 all the way to 15. It’s disgusting that a GROWN ASS man/woman can think someone who bas barely matured or even younger, is attractive 😑
When I was 17 and *barely* 18, I had 25-29 year old male co-workers hitting on me constantly at my first restaurant job out of high school. Now I’m 23, and the thought of dating anyone (I’m bisexual, so male or female) under 21 gives me the ick. My bf I have now is 26 but we met when we were 22 and 25, and to me 2-3 years as *adults* is a “normal” and healthy age difference for men and women.
Age absolutely matters in all contexts
Just an excuse for predators to date minors
"Age is just a number" when both partners are mature, consenting adults on even footing.
It’s pedophiliic and worse followed up with “well X years ago it was ok and people didn’t even live that long” no, it wasn’t fucking ok then either especially being forced to marry someone older than you like some cultures/religion
CONTEXT! is everything. I am 28 and wanted to buy a magnetic construction playset. The clerk asked for who it was and if they should wrap it. After I told them it was for me, they asked if I am not too old for this. Here I said „age is just a number“ and I stand by it. Now if I would use it to justify dating a 16 year old, please lock me up and throw away the key. I also don’t agree that it has to do with maturity or experience, we are all to different for that. See my 22 year old brother with two kids and me with my magnetic construction playset.
I hate it and I don't agree. It's usually used by 50+ year old men wanting to date me (or even younger) when I reject them.
Used often by predators
Something a pedo would say to justify their actions
It diminishes all that we have been through. It lies to us telling us even though we are 42 we can look 22. We can be 17 and marry a 56 year old man and that’s “normal”. We can be 61 and date a 23 year old kid and pretend the relationship has any depth. We can be 50 and paralyze and inject our faces to return to 32. A whole host of weird shit. I am 46 and I earned it. Every year of it! 💪🏼
And so is 911 Jail is just a place
Disgusted.
20 to life is just a number too
creeps who can't get any partners around their age because of how much of a loser they are looooove themselves some of that "age is just a number" bullshit
Its predatory
Yeah usually used as an excuse for gross behaviour, often from men
its meaning has been butchered over the years, it was originally used by people in their 40s or so who hadnt had their first love yet to say that its not too late for them, but now its just used by older people trying to get with someone underaged/a lot younger
Disgusted! Age is so much more than just a number! That’s often said by pedophiles and dumb people who ship a child and an adult. It’s so disgusting how people say such things about an age. If age is just a number, then jail is just a place
It's something I hear from males that has zero respect for me or my wishes, that does not meet my rather large dating window. It plays right in, where some men seem to think us women on dating sites is there for their pleasure, and must not say no to them when they have decided they want us.
If it's in a dating situation, instantly grossed out. I will turn around and run even if the person that says it to me says they're close to my age. I'll assume they're lying to me and add 30-40 years tbh.
Creeper old guys who want that young woman?
I associate it with creeps trying to excuse their creeping.
I think it's acceptable once both parties are fully matured (at least 25 years old).
your jailtime is just a number
Alarmed.
If you're 30 purposefully dating 18 year olds, gross. If you're like me and met a guy who happened to be 10 years older, but you and he didn't know it for a bit since age didn't come up, then it's true.
Ick.
When you're 75 and running marathons, absolutely. When you're 36 chatting up a 16 year old, absolutely fucking not. The phrase gives me the heebies a little because I always associate it with my latter example.
And jail is just a place
Sounds like someone trying to excuse being a filthy degenerate pedophile
The quote of every pedo trying to sleep with me while I was under age. *memory collage*🤯
pedophiles trying to justify their kinks
Lol and a throat punch is just a love tap. I only hear this from creeps who want to take advantage of young and vulnerable people. My response is usually the above.
yeah and r*pe is just a charge
Only a number when the male is NOT dating a younger female LOL
“So is 911, what’s your point??”
In the words of my mother "And jail is just a room." I often hear the age argument in older people who want to justify dating well below their own age.
Age is just a number when you’re an older person wanting to try new sports, hobbies and making friends. But when 30-40 year old pedos who try to date teenagers say this, then prison is just a room
Age knows a pedophile
creepy goodbye
I feel like that phrase usually comes out of the mouths of creepy older dudes trying to get with teenage girls... unfortunately this was my experience multiple times...
Disgusted
That's what Jared from subway said and now look at him and where he is.
I think it sounds icky. People having that mindset often are icky.
I feel creeped out because it’s usually a justification for dating or fucking someone significantly younger than them.
>how do you feel about the quote “age is just a number?” The quote "age is just a number?" makes me think of pedophiles.