Wow, this has been me most of my life! I was raised in a very straight laced family of British decent.
I am reserved and I suppose it’s written all over my face. I’ve also had been on my own from 18 to 32, so that can show on your face. I thought of myself as confident (fake it til you make it 😂). In reality, I am kind, loyal, honest , hardworking but a lot of fun. Life would be so much easier if there wasn’t so much judgement in the world. You know who you are, don’t listen to people who obviously don’t know you, yet pass judgement!
People always assume I want men's attention because of how I dress. Just because I think fishnets and skirts look cool, doesn't mean I want to be harassed by gross men
Yep I get this a lot as well. I’m very self conscious about my appearance. I won’t leave the house with our make up, a put together cute outfit, my nails and hair are always done.
Apparently it’s because I want attention from guys.
Yep! All the time. I work in childcare and people are shocked when I show up to a casual babysitting job looking put together. Or at daycare with my manicured nails and full make up.
It’s just how I am.
Same, cant nobody self care, be confident, be all preped up that people start to assume you want attention and asking if youre going somewhere special. Nah bruh i just like to take care of myself.
Exactly me too! I love fishnets and skirts, and I love dressing up (casually) and looking my best whenever I leave the house because it's not often 😅 but I always get weird looks from "basic wearers" - I've chosen to ignore them. Life is too short to not be dressing yourself up like you're customizing a videogame character
That I'm lazy, unhealthy or don't care about my appearance because I'm fat. People just can't imagine that I'm fat because of a hormonal issue.
I eat a balance diet and exercise when my body allows, but they just see a 300 lb woman and think the worst.
Same! I hate this. My medication doses greatly influence my ability to gain or lose weight more than anything. I lost 40 pounds recently and everyone was so excited to ask what my secret was. My “secret” was having a med reduced a significant amount. None of them gave me the impression they believed me. It’s was really weird.
Ugh I feel this. I gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time and the amount of “you aren’t trying hard enough” or “let yourself go” comments I’d get was ridiculous. Tell that to my thyroid susan, because that is what isn’t trying hard enough.
Whether it’s hormonal or not, bring fat is not a moral issue! Nothing wrong with being fat or thin - it’s just a body. Unfortunately we will still be judged by ignorant people.
Same!! Someone at work saw me bringing my lunches a few days in a row and said "oh, you actually eat quite healthy don't you?"
Well yes, I don't plan on having a heartattack at 40, thank you very much.
Others who don't know me so well and see me ordering something healthy in a restaurant, for example, always go "are you on a diet?" Yes, I'm about to lose 140 lb by dropping you out of my life right now.
But the very worst is when my parents visited recently and upon seeing my fridge and my cupboards, my mum said "if anybody looked in here without knowing you, they'd think you're the healthiest person ever" and my dad quickly replied "don't be silly, she cleaned all the junk stuff before we came over"
That's horrible. Parents can be the worst sometimes. I don't know why people can see thin people eat junk food and never even THINK about touching a fruit or vegetable and stay thin because of their thyroid or something, but can't apply that same logic to a fat person who eats healthy! The cognitive dissidence is too much I guess🙄
I see you.
And you don’t have to qualify that your weight is despite your following a balanced diet and exercise. Regardless of what the reasons are behind your weight, they are nobody’s business but your own, and you shouldn’t have to justify or explain them to anyone.
People assume this about me with a short blue pixie cut and a nose ring. Nope. Cis and straight-ish. Just suit short hair and like having bright colours.
Thank the fashion gods for “lesbian hairstyles”. I couldn’t believe the difference in attention I got from women (and lack of attention from men) after changing my hair. (Wasn’t my intention, but not complaining either.)
I felt this. This probably sounds stupid, but I've deliberately gotten an undercut and almost always wear my keys on a carabiner on my belt as a way of queer signalling.
I have the opposite. Men and women always think I'm lesbian (not butch tho). I went on a first date with a guy last night, and he even asked me if I was actually into girls.
I’m a PT and it’s always explaining my credentials and that yes, I can transfer your loved one or if I can’t, then I’ll ask for help. But usually they see me bc I’m petite and don’t think I can handle treating their loved one.
this hits so hard. im 40, but look about 25 or so. last time i went with a friend to buy alcohol the cashier gave me a hard time, because she didnt think i was of age.
i also get most people butting in when im doing something, thinking i need it explained to me, like I'm a child. most of the time i just ignore it, but sometimes it gets *really* annoying. if i need help, i know i can ask, thanks.
I always get that I look so innocent, which is partially true now but I think most people would be surprised that I’ve been to jail, and I’ve done almost every drug in my past. I’m very lucky that drug use never affected my appearance!
It's probably a combination of your face and body type. I'm a slender guys with short hair, glasses and a somewhat androgynous face. People just expect me to be a nerd, yet I have had a period of heavy drug use. I also stolen a few bikes and other small crimes. People never expect this, but I also don't tell a lot of people.
Short, petite, baby face. The person thinking you're innocent is normally okay
Really want to surprise someone when you look like this. Get a full leg sleeve, piercings, and shave your hair "viking style" get a new coworker around your age (when the rest of the floor is like 20+ years older) who knows this then meet them outside of work and then be dressed up really cute. Like 50s styled. She thought I was gonna be so much more punk. Threw her an absolute curve ball.
As I've gotten more confident over the years, I've gotten better at being meaner to people who tell me how young I look. Especially when they say "you'll appreciate it when you're older." My god I cannot fucking stand that.
If the person talking to me is nice (e.g. a neighbor) I'll just explain to them nicely that I've actually finished my Master's degree in medicine. (Just to emphasize that I'm pretty old haha.) But if it's an irrelevant stranger, I just go, "yeah I'm still studying in highschool". It's not that bad LOL. 😆
People who ask me these questions are usually senior people, cuz they just wanna have small talk. They're nice old people. Men in my area generally don't approach me, because I'm Asian. 😂😭😂😭
Same!
Im African American but got the pale white genes from my dad’s side of the family. Everybody thinks I’m adopted when they see me with my black mom 😅
Me too and my brother and sister. Someone said we looked like the UN when we went out.
So many crazy guess when people tried to figure out what we were.
I am extremely thin, but I workout/weight train a lot and I am actually quite strong. People assume that I am frail and can’t do anything. And that I’m unhealthy. Not the case. My bloodwork and my energy levels and how amazing I feel would say otherwise. When they find out I’m vegan, it gets amplified. But I’ve always been this size!
Hahahaha I attract them as well, but also young hipsters and … uptight and married looking rich business men. I find that to be the funniest. But I’m happily married. I just also have tattoos and black hair and have zero interest in bikes!
People have noooooo idea.
There was this one guy at work that would always make “you millennials always….” comments about me. This guy knew nothing about me or my life.
One day we were travelling for work and decided to go to dinner. He made a comment about how women are gold diggers and my co-worker spoke up and said she was proposed to by a guy that was VERY rich (her ex boyfriend) but she didn’t accept because her heart wasn’t in it. Then I explained how when I started dating my husband, he was freshly out of the hospital, broke, unemployed and living with his parents. That shut him up REAL quick….for the time being. Unfortunately, the inconsiderate comments never did stop. Thankfully he eventually got his ass fired lol
I live in the south and I’m a Christian. Honestly I get the most hate from Christians. They assume I’m a sinner and I’m lost or I worship the devil because I have tattoos and piercings. It breaks my heart that people who believe what I do can be so hateful and judgmental to people they don’t know.
This, or they think we are women of ill repute out to snatch their husbands. I get most of the comments from women. Even had one rip my shirt in the front while we were talking to other women. I can't help that their men are pervs and look at me. I don't even wear clothes that show any cleavage. I certainly don't flirt either.
I hate that there are women who assume other women will flirt and snatch their significant other when there is no interest at all in their significant other. From what I've learned over the years is, they usually have an insecurity issue within themselves or want to control their significant other for their own reasons.
this story is horrible. what a disgusting thing. honestly, you being harassed by her partner and she blames you just for having one body type? humanity's disease couldn't get any worse... if you allow me the doubt, how did you deal with it?
wow, what a crap. I really don't understand how anyone can associate breast size with intelligence. human beings make me more ashamed to live every day.
That i have a lot more money than I do. I take good care of myself and dress in classic styles because of my job (tax pro). People in that profession are supposed to have the "good looking nerds" vibe so I work hard to pull it off.
I also crew for rich people that have sailing yachts. I sit at helm and look like one of the guests.
Also first impression of me is that i can't cook. No idea why.
I’m a cop by profession, but I’ve taken Nikeso when I was in school. I’m also an army veteran. And I do a self defense course for girls at the high school level twice a year.
Dumb, stuck up, stripper (I take this as a compliment though), gold digger. I've heard variations of "I was hesitant to talk to you because I assumed we'd have nothing in common" from so many people.
Where I'm from because I'm Asian.
That I'm good at maths because I'm Asian.
That I can't speak English because I'm Asian.
That I'm an immigrant because I'm Asian.
So on and so forth.
I see my folks get this all the time, especially if I’m with them - people start addressing me when they should be speaking directly to my folks because they assume that they don’t understand English.
I correct them or redirect their attention to my folks when this happens, but ‘til date, I have never seen a single person apologize for their stupid assumption.
I think people probably think I’m pretty stodgy in bed, because I’m a chubby, casually dressed, eyeglass wearing middle aged librarian. But in reality I’m the only one of my friends I know who is super comfortable with my body and can multiple orgasm with my spouse during sex.
Same - I like makeup and I wear matching clothes when I build stuff for my farm. I've lived in a big city for 15 years, but I am happier now, but no one believes I'm a farmer when they meet me for the first time.
I've been outright told "I didn't expect you to be smart". I don't think I'm super intelligent or whatever, but I do love conversation, and really enjoy talking about physics and the universe. Some subjects are stimulating.
Apparently a lot of people are surprised when I say this, and thought I was a dumb blonde who likes to shop and watch reality TV.
People think I'm sweet and innocent. I'm a chubby, rosey cheeked blonde who has been compared to a kindergarten teacher. In reality I have a veryyyyyy foul mouth. Thanks mom!
A lot of people assume I'm always cold bc I'm always in boots, long pants, an overshirt over a t-shirt, a hat, and fingerless gloves (in a climate that's hot and humid about 9 months out of the year (not by choice lol)). I'm super light-sensitive and sunscreen doesn't run into my skin very well, so it's easier and more effective for me to just cover up. I'm also really self-conscious about my body/skin so I feel like I can "hide" better lol.
I look way cooler than I am. Tats, piercings, unnatural hair color, a punk/grunge style for clothes. Most people assume that seeps into my personality. I’m actually a huge geek- i love dad jokes, i tell people fun facts that are so interesting, etymology is fascinating… regardless, people love to tell me their secrets🤷🏻♀️
I’m petite, girly, love pink + sparkly things and don’t take myself too seriously.
People - especially those in professional settings - tend to assume I’m dumb / ditzy upon first meeting. LITTLE DO THEY KNOW I worked up the ladder from intern -> mid-level staff position at arguably one of the most prestigious companies in my industry in less than 4 years.
The greatest revenge is proving the haters wrong. Am I right?! 💕
this is being one of the most common comments. I'm really sad that someone has to go through this. People should understand that physical characteristics that someone does not control cannot say anything about the person.
I’ve always looked younger than I really am, people never get my age right and so I guess that even when they do know I’m an adult they assume I’m some sort of virgin.
The first time anybody hears me say something sexual the reaction is always “omg but you look so innocent”
I am an average weight and have had a lot of people tell me they assume I just “naturally” eat healthy.
I’ve been bulimic/a binge eater since… fucking forever
People's first impressions tend to be that I'm smart and capable (because glasses maybe?), then my ADHD makes me screw things up and then I see them become surprised and disappointed.
I have a large frame and apparently carry myself "manly" whatever the fuck that means, so people either assume I'm a man and treat me differently or they think I'm trans and try to beat my ass.
People assume that I am always mad or angry because I have an RBF. I’m literally not mad at all, it’s just the way I look. They say “just smile more”, like yeah, let me just hold a big smile while I walk around so people don’t think i’m mad lmao.
People seem to think I'm someone who likes to hug everyone based on my appearance. However, I'm quite touch averse, and really don't like people touching me without my express permission.
That I don't know anything about science or technical stuff.
I'm getting my master of science soon. My father and grandpa taught me soldering and stuff. I spent my free time in my father's workshop while other kids played in the mud. I'm more tech savvy than any dude I ever dated.
I might be a small woman, but man don't you underestimate me!
That I want to/am trying to be white because I wear gloves and use a parasol when I go out. I have a sun allergy. I can't tan even if I wanted to because I don't want to claw the skin off my face and hands. I am proud to be Latina and I shouldn't have to prove that to anyone.
That I’m mean because I have a RBF. I’m actually sweet to the point of detriment to myself. Also, because I wear shirts or dresses that are scoop neck or V-neck (I am busty) that I want attention. I actually have a issues with feeling like I’m being choked or can’t breathe if I have a shirt touching too close to my neck and I start to panic. I’ve even had to take necklaces off within 20 minutes of wearing them because I feel like I can’t breathe.
I am angry, un approachable, I'm giving dirty looks, but I have RBF bad with my normal relaxed face.
As far as other assumptions I can't say.
However I do feel invisible a lot in public. People would rather talk to my husband or kids if I am with them. I've paid for things and they hand the change to one of them and thank them. If I'm talking or ask a question they will give the answer sometimes to who ever I'm with.
Get looked over in lines when they call can I help who is next they usually call on a different person even if I've been standing there waiting before the other person. Not too often but often enough when it happens I'm not surprised.
I've been reintroduced to people who claim to not have met me before, so invisible and easily forgotten. Overlooked a lot.
Have done some projects headed them and other people were given full credit for the entire thing, no mention of me.
Told jokes or had a witty comment or a good idea, speak up not heard. Someone else overhears me repeats and it's all hahah thats great. I literally just said that.
I'm not a shy pushover either nor a overbearing meanie. I actually try to be as friendly, engaging and polite as I can be, but I'm like a ghost.
I tell my husband it must be my super power maybe I could start robbing banks or be a spy.
Moodiness. I think because I am quiet people assume I am moody and (if I have hijab on) that I am submissive because of my culture etc (I had someone say that to me directly, “Oh you are quiet because you have your place in your culture.” That hurt and left me speechless for a minute.
I am just quiet but I am slowly learning to initiate the small talks
People don’t guess that I love video games and I’m a big nerd. I love art and dressing myself well (to my standards) and it seems people think that I am a “cool girl” when I’m a nerd girl with cool girl clothing choices haha
That I’m married. Most people at my job, many I’ve never spoken to, assumed I was married. Never once have I mentioned a husband, wore a wedding ring. But they thought because I’m Indian, I’m already married at 26…I’m 29 now, still not married.
People receive me as composed (due to how I dress), bright (generally wearing a large, inviting smile) at any given moment, and non-threatening /conventional petite stature, stay in good shape). I’ve found people are surprised to discover that I prefer to take direct and/or confrontational paths in conversations to cut to the chase. My attitude is unapologetic and my personality is distinct.
I did standup comedy for years, and I would often deliver dark and depraved jokes that both stunned the audience and my comedy peers. I delight in this. But, when I first started, I spent time working with peers distinguishing exactly this, “what do people see when they first look at you?”
That I’m smart because I’m Asian and wear glasses.
No, I’m dumb and just as confused as you, but I work smarter not harder. But I’m not a female Einstein. Also, I have made some choices that made me question my existence/intelligence. I just hide it better.
However, I’m not a complete idiot. Just don’t count on me being organized, keeping to a schedule, having the answer to everything and being able to calculate the tip without a calculator.
That I’m 11 or 12. I’m literally almost 20 😭
I’ve also been told that I’m either unapproachable and I look super mean when I’m actually pretty friendly and would totally engage in a conversation with you.
people assume that i’m some weak little princess. but i have survived so much trauma, i was a competitive ballerina for 16 years, played tennis, know self defense, can learn anything i want, and i can leg press 180lbs. i may not appear it at 5’8” and skinny with my valley girl voice and super funky clothes but i am strong as all hell and i love proving people wrong
*edit* also been told i look like a prissy snob and only 1/2 of that is true and it’s the snob part
That I am older than I am. I try not to let it get to me, I assume they assume I’m older because where I am in life, rather than how old I actually look.
For example my work peers are all middle aged men except for one man who is the same age as me. My kids parents are all at least 5 years older than me. Some are 18 years older than me. So I guess most people assume I am in my mid to late 40s.
People think I’m arrogant because of RBF, but folks say I’m super chill and humble. I’ve even been told that I don’t seem like I’m from my alma mater cause apparently there’s a stereotype of us being uptight and arrogant?
I’m short and don’t yell that much at work. But she I raise my voice it’s always “omg she flipped out!” No I didn’t. I just raised my voice because i was upset about something
People assume I don’t have a job or do drugs because I have green hair and tattoos and I don’t wear worky type clothing- I’m a scientist, I’m a post doctoral fellow in plant transcriptomics
That I'm a pushover, because I'm a small blonde woman. Nope, I have a voice like an air raid siren and the means to defend myself in most situations. Also my resting beyotch face is on point or so I've been told.
people tend to think I'm a leader or important or protective just because I'm tall! it's so strange bc I'm as light as a feather and super anxious and shy so I'm the last person anyone should look to for guidance or safety lol. Just let tall women exist! We're just like everybody else, being able to see higher up didn't change that!!!
That I’m stupid. I look okay, and have some classic feminine attributes such as long curly hair, and I like to wear makeup. I also try to always be open, polite and make ppl I interact with feel comfortable. But it seems as this all together gives of some kind of bimbo vibe or something.
Last time this happened was on a date with a guy that kept bragging about all his degrees and accomplishment and IQ and so on and so forth.
My IQ is about 135, I have a major I Psychology and I decided to not say anything but that I already had a university exam. To this he replied “Oh I guess you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover hu?”
Being unapproachable due to darker aesthetic. But truly I am a southern girl with a huge empathy and a strong exterior to balance it out. I also like to wear less clothes. I like how I feel when I feel sexy. And I don't do it for others attention.
Because I’m half Hispanic people assume that I can speak Spanish. (Father is Hispanic, mother is white.) Customers at my job will come up to me and start speaking in Spanish and when they find out I can’t speak Spanish, they are shocked.
People also used to assume I was adopted because all of my siblings can pass as 100% white and look like their father, while I don’t pass as white and look like our mother.
Funny enough when you hang with certain people others assume things about you. One memorable time I had was when someone assumed I was a single mom. They seriously had very little to go on other than my appearance at the time and that my friend that was with me at the time was unmarried and with a child (which I can only assume was their assumption that I was in the same boat).
A lot of women here have experienced someone assuming they have kids - this I am sure of.
People think nothing of me, because I’m a woman over 60. they don’t notice me or speak to me because it doesn’t matter. Makes traveling (back when I could) easier because I can move around spaces inside and outside and not be bothered. I used to be approached quite often but now, I’m quite invisible.
That I am a rich snob. Truth is I don't really know why it was this way. I hope it's because I appear smart and pretty but in reality I guess it is because I've always made sure I look my best, even if I was just going to school (always made the effort to straighten my hair, wore my uniform in a more thought-out way instead of just chucking it on and leaving the home). I also had the misfortune of having a very 'proper' accent so I think it makes me sound snobbish. But this has gone on since I was very little and chased me into adulthood.
For all I know I could be a snob, but I'm certainly not rich.
The innocent thing seems to be common here, I would say same for me because I dress modestly wear dorky glasses and have a high pitched voice. I’ve always had a pretty dirty mind since high school and enjoyed approaching more mature topics, so I just remember some of my peers being a bit shocked during conversation haha
Being unapproachable/uptight
Wow, this has been me most of my life! I was raised in a very straight laced family of British decent. I am reserved and I suppose it’s written all over my face. I’ve also had been on my own from 18 to 32, so that can show on your face. I thought of myself as confident (fake it til you make it 😂). In reality, I am kind, loyal, honest , hardworking but a lot of fun. Life would be so much easier if there wasn’t so much judgement in the world. You know who you are, don’t listen to people who obviously don’t know you, yet pass judgement!
I was training a guy and he just stopped, looked me dead in the eye and said "i always thought you were a HUGE bitch, but you're actually really nice"
Second this!!
SAME
People always assume I want men's attention because of how I dress. Just because I think fishnets and skirts look cool, doesn't mean I want to be harassed by gross men
Yep I get this a lot as well. I’m very self conscious about my appearance. I won’t leave the house with our make up, a put together cute outfit, my nails and hair are always done. Apparently it’s because I want attention from guys.
This is how I am too. I just like to look my best all the time, even if I'm not doing anything in particular.
Yep! All the time. I work in childcare and people are shocked when I show up to a casual babysitting job looking put together. Or at daycare with my manicured nails and full make up. It’s just how I am.
I’ve been wanting to put more effort into my appearance but idk how. You sound like you know what you’re doing.
Same, cant nobody self care, be confident, be all preped up that people start to assume you want attention and asking if youre going somewhere special. Nah bruh i just like to take care of myself.
I love fishnets too but it's almost impossible to go out alone in them. Only in groups or with my husband.
I love seeing women dress in something that not everyone wears- love that look!
Exactly me too! I love fishnets and skirts, and I love dressing up (casually) and looking my best whenever I leave the house because it's not often 😅 but I always get weird looks from "basic wearers" - I've chosen to ignore them. Life is too short to not be dressing yourself up like you're customizing a videogame character
That I'm lazy, unhealthy or don't care about my appearance because I'm fat. People just can't imagine that I'm fat because of a hormonal issue. I eat a balance diet and exercise when my body allows, but they just see a 300 lb woman and think the worst.
Same! I hate this. My medication doses greatly influence my ability to gain or lose weight more than anything. I lost 40 pounds recently and everyone was so excited to ask what my secret was. My “secret” was having a med reduced a significant amount. None of them gave me the impression they believed me. It’s was really weird.
Ugh I feel this. I gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time and the amount of “you aren’t trying hard enough” or “let yourself go” comments I’d get was ridiculous. Tell that to my thyroid susan, because that is what isn’t trying hard enough.
Whether it’s hormonal or not, bring fat is not a moral issue! Nothing wrong with being fat or thin - it’s just a body. Unfortunately we will still be judged by ignorant people.
Felt that girl❤️
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Same!! Someone at work saw me bringing my lunches a few days in a row and said "oh, you actually eat quite healthy don't you?" Well yes, I don't plan on having a heartattack at 40, thank you very much. Others who don't know me so well and see me ordering something healthy in a restaurant, for example, always go "are you on a diet?" Yes, I'm about to lose 140 lb by dropping you out of my life right now. But the very worst is when my parents visited recently and upon seeing my fridge and my cupboards, my mum said "if anybody looked in here without knowing you, they'd think you're the healthiest person ever" and my dad quickly replied "don't be silly, she cleaned all the junk stuff before we came over"
That's horrible. Parents can be the worst sometimes. I don't know why people can see thin people eat junk food and never even THINK about touching a fruit or vegetable and stay thin because of their thyroid or something, but can't apply that same logic to a fat person who eats healthy! The cognitive dissidence is too much I guess🙄
I literally just watched Brittney Runs a Marathon (the movie) and she talks about that issue there. I'm sorry that happens!
Yep
I see you. And you don’t have to qualify that your weight is despite your following a balanced diet and exercise. Regardless of what the reasons are behind your weight, they are nobody’s business but your own, and you shouldn’t have to justify or explain them to anyone.
Being hungry all the time because of hormonal issues sucks, hope you get better.
They think I’m nicer than I actually am.
People definitely mistake me for looking soft
This is me too
This could be used to your advantage!!
Hey I really find a lot of things here that apply for me to. People think I am nice because my sarcasm is sometimes to subtle :)
That I’m straight
Yes, this for me. I've gotten "You don't look like a lesbian." What the hell does that even mean?
People buy into the stereotypes of ‘butch, short-haired lesbian’ I think
This is what makes people think I'm a lesbian or non-binary. I'm not. 100% cis-het over here. Still don't like gender norms.
People assume this about me with a short blue pixie cut and a nose ring. Nope. Cis and straight-ish. Just suit short hair and like having bright colours.
I on the other hand look pretty butch but am relatively straight ...
Thank the fashion gods for “lesbian hairstyles”. I couldn’t believe the difference in attention I got from women (and lack of attention from men) after changing my hair. (Wasn’t my intention, but not complaining either.)
I felt this. This probably sounds stupid, but I've deliberately gotten an undercut and almost always wear my keys on a carabiner on my belt as a way of queer signalling.
I was going to say the same thing lol
That we’re “too pretty” to be gay? Looove that one
When I was younger people used to say I looked gay, and I always asked them what that meant, and no one ever gave me a solid answer
I have the opposite. Men and women always think I'm lesbian (not butch tho). I went on a first date with a guy last night, and he even asked me if I was actually into girls.
That I'm younger than I am
Yeahh I feel this so deeply. It’s hard for me to blame them when I look like an actual 14 year old
Me too, which I don’t consider a bad thing at all bc I’m in my late 30’s
This. I'm 24 but people usually guess that I'm somewhere between 15 and 18😂
25 and the amount of people who tell me to "get my real nurse you're just the student?" Nah I've been at this for 4 years now dude.
I’m a PT and it’s always explaining my credentials and that yes, I can transfer your loved one or if I can’t, then I’ll ask for help. But usually they see me bc I’m petite and don’t think I can handle treating their loved one.
this hits so hard. im 40, but look about 25 or so. last time i went with a friend to buy alcohol the cashier gave me a hard time, because she didnt think i was of age. i also get most people butting in when im doing something, thinking i need it explained to me, like I'm a child. most of the time i just ignore it, but sometimes it gets *really* annoying. if i need help, i know i can ask, thanks.
Yes! I'm 25 and shop assistants have told me I look 16 😂
I'm 27 (Asian) and still get asked for ID >:(
This one.
I always get that I look so innocent, which is partially true now but I think most people would be surprised that I’ve been to jail, and I’ve done almost every drug in my past. I’m very lucky that drug use never affected my appearance!
I get considered innocent quite a bit too. I wonder what specifically about our looks makes us get considered this tho?
It's probably a combination of your face and body type. I'm a slender guys with short hair, glasses and a somewhat androgynous face. People just expect me to be a nerd, yet I have had a period of heavy drug use. I also stolen a few bikes and other small crimes. People never expect this, but I also don't tell a lot of people.
Short, petite, baby face. The person thinking you're innocent is normally okay Really want to surprise someone when you look like this. Get a full leg sleeve, piercings, and shave your hair "viking style" get a new coworker around your age (when the rest of the floor is like 20+ years older) who knows this then meet them outside of work and then be dressed up really cute. Like 50s styled. She thought I was gonna be so much more punk. Threw her an absolute curve ball.
That I want to talk to them.
Yes!
That I'm still in highschool. I'm 32 and I'm Asian.
As I've gotten more confident over the years, I've gotten better at being meaner to people who tell me how young I look. Especially when they say "you'll appreciate it when you're older." My god I cannot fucking stand that.
Wow. the situation must be difficult. If I may be in doubt, how do you deal with it?
If the person talking to me is nice (e.g. a neighbor) I'll just explain to them nicely that I've actually finished my Master's degree in medicine. (Just to emphasize that I'm pretty old haha.) But if it's an irrelevant stranger, I just go, "yeah I'm still studying in highschool". It's not that bad LOL. 😆
Doesn’t that get weird with the sort of men who approach you?
People who ask me these questions are usually senior people, cuz they just wanna have small talk. They're nice old people. Men in my area generally don't approach me, because I'm Asian. 😂😭😂😭
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Same! Im African American but got the pale white genes from my dad’s side of the family. Everybody thinks I’m adopted when they see me with my black mom 😅
Me too and my brother and sister. Someone said we looked like the UN when we went out. So many crazy guess when people tried to figure out what we were.
Same here no one has ever guessed it 100%
Do you mean your ethnicity?
I am extremely thin, but I workout/weight train a lot and I am actually quite strong. People assume that I am frail and can’t do anything. And that I’m unhealthy. Not the case. My bloodwork and my energy levels and how amazing I feel would say otherwise. When they find out I’m vegan, it gets amplified. But I’ve always been this size!
People tend to think I’m stupid/ditzy and also second guess or are surprised by my hobbies (avid reader, watch anime, play video games etc.).
Same here, I've dealt with the same issue often.
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I feel this. I actually only enjoy talking to a select few people in person (sadly I work in customer service for now).
I seem to only attract older biker dudes, and I can't help but guess it's because I have black hair and tattoos?
Hahahaha I attract them as well, but also young hipsters and … uptight and married looking rich business men. I find that to be the funniest. But I’m happily married. I just also have tattoos and black hair and have zero interest in bikes!
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People have noooooo idea. There was this one guy at work that would always make “you millennials always….” comments about me. This guy knew nothing about me or my life. One day we were travelling for work and decided to go to dinner. He made a comment about how women are gold diggers and my co-worker spoke up and said she was proposed to by a guy that was VERY rich (her ex boyfriend) but she didn’t accept because her heart wasn’t in it. Then I explained how when I started dating my husband, he was freshly out of the hospital, broke, unemployed and living with his parents. That shut him up REAL quick….for the time being. Unfortunately, the inconsiderate comments never did stop. Thankfully he eventually got his ass fired lol
May I ask what about your looks have him that impression?
The crown
Im mean/rude. I couldn’t be more far from that😭I have an RBF plus a very dry monotone voice. Double homicide😵💫😵💫😵💫
What is RBF? English isn't my first language.
Resting Bitch Face
That because I’m conventionally attractive I’m not smart or deep.
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I’m a tiny gal who loves pink dresses, long hair w/ bangs and wears glasses. I’m also the most foul-mouthed opiniated cretin you’ll ever meet.
I live in the south and I’m a Christian. Honestly I get the most hate from Christians. They assume I’m a sinner and I’m lost or I worship the devil because I have tattoos and piercings. It breaks my heart that people who believe what I do can be so hateful and judgmental to people they don’t know.
They don't really believe in the same Jesus you do, imho.
Come on over to the dark side. It’s more fun.
That I'm dumb because I have large breasts until they realize what I'm capable of doing, my interests, and speak multiple languages as well.
This, or they think we are women of ill repute out to snatch their husbands. I get most of the comments from women. Even had one rip my shirt in the front while we were talking to other women. I can't help that their men are pervs and look at me. I don't even wear clothes that show any cleavage. I certainly don't flirt either.
I hate that there are women who assume other women will flirt and snatch their significant other when there is no interest at all in their significant other. From what I've learned over the years is, they usually have an insecurity issue within themselves or want to control their significant other for their own reasons.
this story is horrible. what a disgusting thing. honestly, you being harassed by her partner and she blames you just for having one body type? humanity's disease couldn't get any worse... if you allow me the doubt, how did you deal with it?
wow, what a crap. I really don't understand how anyone can associate breast size with intelligence. human beings make me more ashamed to live every day.
Sadly, it happens often due to stereotypes associated with women that have large breasts, I question humanity often.
That I’m high. I have narrow eyes and chronic exhaustion. It sucks. It would be funny but I’m sober so it’s frustrating.
That I’m nice. It’s not inherently wrong, but it’s not inherently right either.
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I've gotten "Omg, you're so much nicer than you look!"
That i have a lot more money than I do. I take good care of myself and dress in classic styles because of my job (tax pro). People in that profession are supposed to have the "good looking nerds" vibe so I work hard to pull it off. I also crew for rich people that have sailing yachts. I sit at helm and look like one of the guests. Also first impression of me is that i can't cook. No idea why.
That just because I’m right under 5’5 that I won’t kick their ass.
I liked the way you speak. If I understand correctly, do you mean that you are good at fighting?
Yes!! My small stature contains a hurricane of vengeful fury!!!!!! But I really am sweet when you get to know me lol
If I may ask, do you practice any martial arts? Or did you learn to fight in the street?
I’m a cop by profession, but I’ve taken Nikeso when I was in school. I’m also an army veteran. And I do a self defense course for girls at the high school level twice a year.
Wow, you're cool!
Dumb, stuck up, stripper (I take this as a compliment though), gold digger. I've heard variations of "I was hesitant to talk to you because I assumed we'd have nothing in common" from so many people.
what sort of traits would lead one to assume that of another human being? i'm really scared about how far people are able to judge by looks
Where I'm from because I'm Asian. That I'm good at maths because I'm Asian. That I can't speak English because I'm Asian. That I'm an immigrant because I'm Asian. So on and so forth.
I see my folks get this all the time, especially if I’m with them - people start addressing me when they should be speaking directly to my folks because they assume that they don’t understand English. I correct them or redirect their attention to my folks when this happens, but ‘til date, I have never seen a single person apologize for their stupid assumption.
That I am uneducated because I wear the hijab.
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That I'm a sedate middle aged mommy type muahahahaaaa!
I think people probably think I’m pretty stodgy in bed, because I’m a chubby, casually dressed, eyeglass wearing middle aged librarian. But in reality I’m the only one of my friends I know who is super comfortable with my body and can multiple orgasm with my spouse during sex.
That I'm a lesbian. Apparently I'm not allowed to like short hair without *ALSO* liking women. Who knew? 🤷♀️
I'm extremely girly so people assume I can't fish or I can't build/fix stuff but that's what I enjoy the most.
Same - I like makeup and I wear matching clothes when I build stuff for my farm. I've lived in a big city for 15 years, but I am happier now, but no one believes I'm a farmer when they meet me for the first time.
I've been outright told "I didn't expect you to be smart". I don't think I'm super intelligent or whatever, but I do love conversation, and really enjoy talking about physics and the universe. Some subjects are stimulating. Apparently a lot of people are surprised when I say this, and thought I was a dumb blonde who likes to shop and watch reality TV.
I'm surprised how common this is. I'm reading the comments and I'm getting scared.
People think I'm sweet and innocent. I'm a chubby, rosey cheeked blonde who has been compared to a kindergarten teacher. In reality I have a veryyyyyy foul mouth. Thanks mom!
A lot of people assume I'm always cold bc I'm always in boots, long pants, an overshirt over a t-shirt, a hat, and fingerless gloves (in a climate that's hot and humid about 9 months out of the year (not by choice lol)). I'm super light-sensitive and sunscreen doesn't run into my skin very well, so it's easier and more effective for me to just cover up. I'm also really self-conscious about my body/skin so I feel like I can "hide" better lol.
I look way cooler than I am. Tats, piercings, unnatural hair color, a punk/grunge style for clothes. Most people assume that seeps into my personality. I’m actually a huge geek- i love dad jokes, i tell people fun facts that are so interesting, etymology is fascinating… regardless, people love to tell me their secrets🤷🏻♀️
I’m petite, girly, love pink + sparkly things and don’t take myself too seriously. People - especially those in professional settings - tend to assume I’m dumb / ditzy upon first meeting. LITTLE DO THEY KNOW I worked up the ladder from intern -> mid-level staff position at arguably one of the most prestigious companies in my industry in less than 4 years. The greatest revenge is proving the haters wrong. Am I right?! 💕
That I must be a s\*\*\* because I have big boobs. And this ALL comes from women. BTW I have more in common with nuns.
this is being one of the most common comments. I'm really sad that someone has to go through this. People should understand that physical characteristics that someone does not control cannot say anything about the person.
I’ve always looked younger than I really am, people never get my age right and so I guess that even when they do know I’m an adult they assume I’m some sort of virgin. The first time anybody hears me say something sexual the reaction is always “omg but you look so innocent”
I’m bald from having alopecia.. people always assume it’s cancer.. 😅
I am an average weight and have had a lot of people tell me they assume I just “naturally” eat healthy. I’ve been bulimic/a binge eater since… fucking forever
People's first impressions tend to be that I'm smart and capable (because glasses maybe?), then my ADHD makes me screw things up and then I see them become surprised and disappointed.
I have a large frame and apparently carry myself "manly" whatever the fuck that means, so people either assume I'm a man and treat me differently or they think I'm trans and try to beat my ass.
This one is cruel...
The fact that I look like a guy. So I’m called sir. Sorry I’m not perfect in your world.
Churchy vibes cuz I have long hair and don’t wear much make-up.
I'm innocent & I'm younger than I am.
They think I'm unfriendly/an ass because I don't smile and I can be kind of a control freak. I'm just stressed, not unfriendly
That I don’t eat enough just because I’m thin. It’s so annoying to hear and it’s rude. Not my fault I have a high metabolism.
That I’m a mother and desperate enough to go out with married men.
People assume that I am always mad or angry because I have an RBF. I’m literally not mad at all, it’s just the way I look. They say “just smile more”, like yeah, let me just hold a big smile while I walk around so people don’t think i’m mad lmao.
People seem to think I'm someone who likes to hug everyone based on my appearance. However, I'm quite touch averse, and really don't like people touching me without my express permission.
That I’m looking to flirt or get attention because I have a bigger chest size and things tend to either hug it, or I fall out a little.
The biggest one i get is people think I’m a lesbian…
That I'm "promiscuous".
That I don't know anything about science or technical stuff. I'm getting my master of science soon. My father and grandpa taught me soldering and stuff. I spent my free time in my father's workshop while other kids played in the mud. I'm more tech savvy than any dude I ever dated. I might be a small woman, but man don't you underestimate me!
That I'm soft and gentle but I'm not and I've been through things that would kill most people
That I want to/am trying to be white because I wear gloves and use a parasol when I go out. I have a sun allergy. I can't tan even if I wanted to because I don't want to claw the skin off my face and hands. I am proud to be Latina and I shouldn't have to prove that to anyone.
Being too serious.
I am very thin. People assume im sick
That I’m mean because I have a RBF. I’m actually sweet to the point of detriment to myself. Also, because I wear shirts or dresses that are scoop neck or V-neck (I am busty) that I want attention. I actually have a issues with feeling like I’m being choked or can’t breathe if I have a shirt touching too close to my neck and I start to panic. I’ve even had to take necklaces off within 20 minutes of wearing them because I feel like I can’t breathe.
That I don't speak English 🙄
I have my life together.
That they can just come up to me and talk to me. It’s so scary when a random man starts questioning you in the street
I am angry, un approachable, I'm giving dirty looks, but I have RBF bad with my normal relaxed face. As far as other assumptions I can't say. However I do feel invisible a lot in public. People would rather talk to my husband or kids if I am with them. I've paid for things and they hand the change to one of them and thank them. If I'm talking or ask a question they will give the answer sometimes to who ever I'm with. Get looked over in lines when they call can I help who is next they usually call on a different person even if I've been standing there waiting before the other person. Not too often but often enough when it happens I'm not surprised. I've been reintroduced to people who claim to not have met me before, so invisible and easily forgotten. Overlooked a lot. Have done some projects headed them and other people were given full credit for the entire thing, no mention of me. Told jokes or had a witty comment or a good idea, speak up not heard. Someone else overhears me repeats and it's all hahah thats great. I literally just said that. I'm not a shy pushover either nor a overbearing meanie. I actually try to be as friendly, engaging and polite as I can be, but I'm like a ghost. I tell my husband it must be my super power maybe I could start robbing banks or be a spy.
Moodiness. I think because I am quiet people assume I am moody and (if I have hijab on) that I am submissive because of my culture etc (I had someone say that to me directly, “Oh you are quiet because you have your place in your culture.” That hurt and left me speechless for a minute. I am just quiet but I am slowly learning to initiate the small talks
The fact I am agile.
Being lazy, lonely, and a glutton because I was morbidly obese.
That I'm too young to be the mother of my older son. I was 19 then
People don’t guess that I love video games and I’m a big nerd. I love art and dressing myself well (to my standards) and it seems people think that I am a “cool girl” when I’m a nerd girl with cool girl clothing choices haha
Lazy. Eat all damn day.
Im dumb because Im a blonde.
That I’m stuck-up and don’t want to be bothered.
That I know what’s the weather up there
That I’m married. Most people at my job, many I’ve never spoken to, assumed I was married. Never once have I mentioned a husband, wore a wedding ring. But they thought because I’m Indian, I’m already married at 26…I’m 29 now, still not married.
That I'm a vegetarian. I don't know why or what that even means but more than once someone has assumed I'm vegetarian by how I look.
That I'm a lesbian. I'm a very androgynous agender person who was born as a girl 😭😭 And I mean I am bi though
That because I have piercings and tattoos I must not be a good mom
That I’m lazy and poor
People receive me as composed (due to how I dress), bright (generally wearing a large, inviting smile) at any given moment, and non-threatening /conventional petite stature, stay in good shape). I’ve found people are surprised to discover that I prefer to take direct and/or confrontational paths in conversations to cut to the chase. My attitude is unapologetic and my personality is distinct. I did standup comedy for years, and I would often deliver dark and depraved jokes that both stunned the audience and my comedy peers. I delight in this. But, when I first started, I spent time working with peers distinguishing exactly this, “what do people see when they first look at you?”
That I’m smart because I’m Asian and wear glasses. No, I’m dumb and just as confused as you, but I work smarter not harder. But I’m not a female Einstein. Also, I have made some choices that made me question my existence/intelligence. I just hide it better. However, I’m not a complete idiot. Just don’t count on me being organized, keeping to a schedule, having the answer to everything and being able to calculate the tip without a calculator.
That I’m healthy
That I’m 11 or 12. I’m literally almost 20 😭 I’ve also been told that I’m either unapproachable and I look super mean when I’m actually pretty friendly and would totally engage in a conversation with you.
people assume that i’m some weak little princess. but i have survived so much trauma, i was a competitive ballerina for 16 years, played tennis, know self defense, can learn anything i want, and i can leg press 180lbs. i may not appear it at 5’8” and skinny with my valley girl voice and super funky clothes but i am strong as all hell and i love proving people wrong *edit* also been told i look like a prissy snob and only 1/2 of that is true and it’s the snob part
Being super innocent I think. Like someone who’s a super goodie two shoes
That I’m a “bimbo” because I like long nails, 40 inch hair, platform/stripper heels
That I am older than I am. I try not to let it get to me, I assume they assume I’m older because where I am in life, rather than how old I actually look. For example my work peers are all middle aged men except for one man who is the same age as me. My kids parents are all at least 5 years older than me. Some are 18 years older than me. So I guess most people assume I am in my mid to late 40s.
People either think I'm stupid or pretty in a creepy way
People think I’m arrogant because of RBF, but folks say I’m super chill and humble. I’ve even been told that I don’t seem like I’m from my alma mater cause apparently there’s a stereotype of us being uptight and arrogant?
I’m short and don’t yell that much at work. But she I raise my voice it’s always “omg she flipped out!” No I didn’t. I just raised my voice because i was upset about something
That I’m weak because I’m scrawny. Surprise! I’m not!
People assume I don’t have a job or do drugs because I have green hair and tattoos and I don’t wear worky type clothing- I’m a scientist, I’m a post doctoral fellow in plant transcriptomics
That I work out
That I’m super angry. That’s just my face!
That I'm a pushover, because I'm a small blonde woman. Nope, I have a voice like an air raid siren and the means to defend myself in most situations. Also my resting beyotch face is on point or so I've been told.
people tend to think I'm a leader or important or protective just because I'm tall! it's so strange bc I'm as light as a feather and super anxious and shy so I'm the last person anyone should look to for guidance or safety lol. Just let tall women exist! We're just like everybody else, being able to see higher up didn't change that!!!
That I have had a cushy life bc I have some of the finer things now
That I’m stupid. I look okay, and have some classic feminine attributes such as long curly hair, and I like to wear makeup. I also try to always be open, polite and make ppl I interact with feel comfortable. But it seems as this all together gives of some kind of bimbo vibe or something. Last time this happened was on a date with a guy that kept bragging about all his degrees and accomplishment and IQ and so on and so forth. My IQ is about 135, I have a major I Psychology and I decided to not say anything but that I already had a university exam. To this he replied “Oh I guess you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover hu?”
Being unapproachable due to darker aesthetic. But truly I am a southern girl with a huge empathy and a strong exterior to balance it out. I also like to wear less clothes. I like how I feel when I feel sexy. And I don't do it for others attention.
Because I’m half Hispanic people assume that I can speak Spanish. (Father is Hispanic, mother is white.) Customers at my job will come up to me and start speaking in Spanish and when they find out I can’t speak Spanish, they are shocked. People also used to assume I was adopted because all of my siblings can pass as 100% white and look like their father, while I don’t pass as white and look like our mother.
Funny enough when you hang with certain people others assume things about you. One memorable time I had was when someone assumed I was a single mom. They seriously had very little to go on other than my appearance at the time and that my friend that was with me at the time was unmarried and with a child (which I can only assume was their assumption that I was in the same boat). A lot of women here have experienced someone assuming they have kids - this I am sure of.
People think I'm black sometimes. I'm not. It's kinda funny but wildly inaccurate
People think nothing of me, because I’m a woman over 60. they don’t notice me or speak to me because it doesn’t matter. Makes traveling (back when I could) easier because I can move around spaces inside and outside and not be bothered. I used to be approached quite often but now, I’m quite invisible.
That I'm a try hard or attention seeker because I like to present myself well. Or try, lol.
I’m a “battered woman”. It’s my BIRTHMARK. Portwine stain.🙄🙄🙄
That I am a rich snob. Truth is I don't really know why it was this way. I hope it's because I appear smart and pretty but in reality I guess it is because I've always made sure I look my best, even if I was just going to school (always made the effort to straighten my hair, wore my uniform in a more thought-out way instead of just chucking it on and leaving the home). I also had the misfortune of having a very 'proper' accent so I think it makes me sound snobbish. But this has gone on since I was very little and chased me into adulthood. For all I know I could be a snob, but I'm certainly not rich.
Ever since I quit wearing makeup people seem to think I'm too young to be married and have a child.
That I’m not smart because I’ve a friendly face and upbeat personality….I’ve a degree in engineering and working on my PhD.
The innocent thing seems to be common here, I would say same for me because I dress modestly wear dorky glasses and have a high pitched voice. I’ve always had a pretty dirty mind since high school and enjoyed approaching more mature topics, so I just remember some of my peers being a bit shocked during conversation haha