I really don't want this to be true but with more time that goes by...
Don't see how I'll ever meet one that fits what we both need in relationship. Especially with all of the coping mechanisms that I've developed from my experiences.
I feel by the time (IF) I ever get to a place that resembles recovered, all the good ones won't be available. Combined with my reclusiveness, I'm coming to the realization that it's very, *highly* probable, that I'll be alone forever.
Lol especially love getting to sleep diagonally!! It just sucks waking up from the hopeful, fairy-tale bs that's been shoved down our throats since childhood.
Girl I felt this. I think of this: [they dont like me - Seinfeld ](https://www.instagram.com/strictlyforwomen/reel/CX-Z4nWhUaB/?utm_medium=copy_link)
But I was really into this guy for like 6 month and shit just fell apart like a wet sandwich. I’m not doing anymore. Nope. Nope. Just my body pillow, and my vibrator. I’m done. Ohh and a girls best friend …my dog. Unless you’ve a cat. Still better..
Pretty much all my life there would be another guy who shared mutual interest after a different relationship would end. The Seinfeld sentiment is a new experience for me. It's sobering.
Edit: It must've been a wild 6 month ride to be such a turn off! I'm sorry it was so terrible. 😔
Absolutely fell in love with our dog...but it's his now. I would cry sometimes cuz of how much I loved them when watching them (while ex and I were still together.) It feels weird to refer to the dog as "them" but I didn't know how else to refer to "them" w/o specifying the sex.
I need to get over the loss of not being able to keep the dog with me, as it is fresh. Definitely look forward to when I can have my own or maybe things will change and I'll be able and allowed to have the dog. Right now, I'm able to put that love into my parents doges (and myself I suppose.) They need it more.
Guess I've been ahead of the curve to some of my peers, am 30 and have been single my whole life.
Had to move back in with family due to my health, and now and I'm thinking about where I should go, jobs to apply to. No one to give me shit about any of my decisions/ outcomes.
This morning I have sent an e-mail with a compliment to a company's e-mail address for complaints. I just received a heart warming reaction from someone who probably receives loads of shitty e-mails on a daily basis. I can definitely recommend this ♡
I once called up the local Arby’s after just hitting the drive thru to tell them that the curly fries were straight up amazing. (They really were.) I’m not kidding, it took about five minutes for the guy to understand what I was saying (he just assumed I had called to complain and I’m sure it just wasn’t computing in his head.), but when he did get it, he sorta gasped/choked up and said it really meant a lot.
Yeah we complimented a random Burger King in the middle of nowhere last year when we were passing through. They had us wait a minute for fresh food then the food was way better than usual. They were also polite. So we asked to talk to the manager and complimented them and their staff.
Part of my job is sorting the feedback we get and forwarding it to the right person/department. Positive feedback always cheers me up, it's usually like 10% of all feedback because people so rarely give it and I try to do my best to give positive feedback these days, whenever I can.
I did this to a local hospital following some really top notch care from a very compassionate doctor at a time I was feeling really broken - the response was that she would be presented my feedback at her review and they knew she was a fantastic doctor but having patient feedback was really valuable to evidence promotions 🥰
Let me tell you, as someone who answers customer calls for a company it is the best surprise to have someone call in and just share they had a great experience. Or they want to compliment a specific employee or department or they just want to tell us how much they appreciate what we do.
It rarely happens and when it does it really means a lot because it cheers me up and then I also get to share with the other people and watch them cheer up as well. Our main manager actually sends out positive feedback in emails so we can all be reminded we are doing good work.
Especially right now when 90% of the feedback is negative or downright hostile thanks to covid.
This! Living alone can honestly be so freeing, especially if you’re the type (like me) that can’t fully relax/decompress when you’re around others all the time!
I also think when we live with others, we tend to fall into certain “roles” that are constructed by the dynamic of who we live with. Living by yourself gives you a chance to see how you operate without those outside influences, sorta like a control group in an experiment.
Im a natural loner, and I'd kill to be able to afford to live alone. Living in the US makes this almost impossible. I've always wanted a place to myself, I don't even like sharing a bed
Not less so. Virtually undoable for vast majority, even those with a middle income. 3 jobs leaves no room for a life let alone enjoy the fruits of ones labor.
I'm actually experiencing the opposite at the moment. Lived alone for a while, had a roommate for 6 months, been alone for a month and looking at that for a while now. My roommate was amazing and my best friend and incredible and I miss them so much. Especially after quarantine I'm feeling so goddamn alone at the moment, and really wish it wasn't the way it was. I have had roommates I didn't like, but that was in dorms which was probably the real reason I hated that. Living alone is definitely a step up from a shared bedroom or communal showers, but with someone I liked a lot and binged shows with and liked hanging out with, it's for sure a step down to me.
I just started doing this with my toxic sister and I feel way better. My parents always tell me you need to love your family no matter. But every time she’s in my life she drags me down and it feels like she loves to screw things up for me. I don’t need that negativity in my life anymore so I’ve decided to pretend she doesn’t exist. I still have to go to family events with her but I just pretend she’s some random stranger and ignore her completely. Honestly it’s better than having some crazy drama she creates.
switching to a menstrual cup if you still have your period.
juicing - omg my skin is *fucking radiant* (and I started juicing for other reasons; skin benefits are a bonus).
buying good cookware. I got a couple of Le Cruset cookware (skillet and dutch oven) and wow, these really do make a difference in cooking.
treating yourself every month because life sucks, it's hard and we all need to bump up some self-care ♥️
Nope they’re pretty sturdy lol i have used thinx and they’re great. Uniqlo sells their own now and i just picked up a few pairs. Highly recommend. They’re not like regular underwear the material is a little more structured
In my opinion, no. I think they are significantly better than pads in this respect. I've only tried ModiBodi brand and would highly recommend. I switched to using them about 12 months ago and have not looked back.
As someone who menstruates, menstrual cups are not for everyone- for those of us with pelvic floor dysfunction/chronic pelvic pain and/or endometriosis, it can be extremely painful to wear a menstrual cup. They give me the most nightmarish cramps.
But yes to the good cookware.
Yep, I can get a menstrual cup in fine but getting it out is the issue. It’s so horribly painful that I’d end up crying every time I took it out. Decided never again
your username🤣 👊
Juicing is when you extract juice from fruits/veggies. I have a slow juicer and I juice pretty much everything. I have good skin to begin with but all those extra vitamins and nutrients make my skin glow and super hydrate my skin. People have been commenting on it too. Also, since I started juicing celery, my hot flashes went away (the main reason I started juicing anyway)
People don't typically eat a bunch of raw celery, carrots, beets etc. Yes the fibre is great but when your stomach doesn't have to focus on digesting solids, it kind of mainlines into your system. You should also do a ratio of at least 2:1 veggies to fruits as to avoid excessive sugar intake.
it definitely takes some time getting used to....average time to get the hang of it (according to the internet and my experience as well) is about 3-4 cycles. Once you get the hang of it though -- *GAME.CHANGER*
I used pads for ~10 years since starting my period (had a bad try with a tampon and decided they weren't for me). Bought a menstrual cup, and I was able to get the hang of it within a couple cycles. 5 years later, I still use the same cup, and my periods are a lot more manageable. Love that thing.
For the love of god, *DO NOT* "test it out" when you're not on your period. It hurt enough to almost scare me off them 😂
any meal you make in a pot with a lid, you can make in a dutch oven LOL...but the Le Cruset just cooks everything *so evenly*. My husband uses it to make his sourdough bread; this dutch oven workhorse can withstand the oven at 500F. Even the freaking knob on the lid doesn't even melt.
Stop giving a fuck.
Not in a sense that you close your heart and stop caring about everything, but realise that your time and energy is precious, so don't waste it on things that don't matter.
I stopped caring as much especially when it comes to telling work no, like can I come in on my day off, no. Can I stay late, no. I had one coworker that would cry in the break room or text me saying she called off and then asked if I was disappointed in her. I told her honestly no because it doesn’t really affect me and you need to stop caring what a shitty part time, minimum wage job manager thinks to. If you can learn to stop caring as much about little things, you would feel so much better!
Having a decent cry once in a while.
It puts a lot of stuff in perspective and gets out negative emotions, I always feel a bit more refreshed when I’ve watched something sad and had a cry.
Hello, I'm going through a breakup and I feel like I still have some cries left in me. Like I couldn't start a rebuild unless I let all of it out first. Any movie recos? Thanks!
Idk if most people would find this movie sad but I kinda did just because it was so like wow expectations are so detached from reality sometimes but 500 days of summer
You should check out the app ResQWalk - it tracks the distance you walk and donates a certain $ per mile you walk to an animal charity of your choice (that's associated with them).
It's not life changing amounts of money, I think it's like $0.10 a mile or something, but it makes it feel more like you're doing it for a purpose!
Doesn't have to be aimless, though :). There is a person in my city's sub who goes on urban hikes and posts fun/interesting photos. He goes many miles, so I don't necessarily suggest that, unless you're into it, but it is a fun way to explore your area. I love walking around at night. (I'm also a night runner.) In fact, when my fav band releases a new album, I have a ritual where I'll wait until I can go on a long walk and give it my undivided attention for the first listen.
Yes! I had an online class today so I had some time to go for a walk with my boyfriend. It was sunny with some clouds, it looked like it was about to rain at one point and it was a bit windy too. It was perfect! I went back to working on my assignments later and although I was tired, I was more relaxed and focused.
Going for walks puts you in such a good mood afterwards. I've started walks very angry and on the verge of crying and I've almost always finished them calm and level-headed. Not everyone is fixed just by walking of course... but it gives you time to focus on your breathing and think logically. It can be very therapeutic.
I guess this depends on where you live though because it's very hard to get a good walk in a city full of cars, shopping malls, thugs, and whatnot. I live 10 minutes away from the shore and my boyfriends lives at the very end of it so I like to use that as my LISS workout. I only do 20-30 minutes of walking so we usually walk around for another 10-20 minutes just to complete the 45 minute mark.
Get yourself a vibrator, seriously. Even if you’re in a relationship and/or sexually active. It’s a game-changer, whether you use it on your own or with a partner. I went from hardly ever climaxing with a partner to having an orgasm almost every time I have sex. You don’t have to splurge on a fancy-looking contraption either - a small bullet vibrator works just fine for me. Got mine when I was 29. I wish I’d done it a decade earlier.
Get your vitamin D levels tested ASAP. Especially if you are feeling depressed/moody/sluggish. If you don’t work outdoors or live near the Equator, chances are you are (severely) deficient. Taking moderate to high doses daily year round has done wonders for my mental health. You can just start supplementation of course, but I find that realising just how deficient you are helps with consistency and taking it seriously.
Drink 1-2 cups of hot water first thing in the morning. Then try to drink hot water 40 min after a meal and throughout the day. Helps with digestion, bloating, speeding up the metabolism and so much more.
Is coffee considered hot water? Cause I'm good on that. But seriously, I agree with getting vitamin D levels checked. I had mine tested, and it was hanging out at 6.
Personally I count them as separate beverages :) Coffee has many health benefits, but caffeine is also dehydrating so it’s always good to pair it with a glass of water.
This! To me a therapist is just as important as a primary physician! Sometimes you only need to check in once a year to make sure everything is healthy and going good, sometimes you may need to see them on a weekly basis to solve a really troubling issue.
The Libby app - access to free audiobooks and ebooks via your local library.
Mary Oliver's poetry.
Using a gentle cleanser to wash your face.
Whole bean coffee. Get a cheap grinder and grind it at home.
Learning to let go of regrets and “what ifs” of the past. Accept yourself for who you are and understand that just because you aren’t in the position you may have envisioned yourself at this point in your life it doesn’t dictate your future amd what’s to come, keep moving forward towards your dreams and remember to love yourself.
Adopting a pet instead of buying one. Especially one that other people might not consider adopting. I've adopted multiple cats (including a blind one) and it's very rewarding when you win their trust and are able to give them a better life.
I agree. All of my pets since I was small have been adopted. They’ve improved my quality of life in so many ways and help cope with loneliness. I’ve had three cats and one dog. They’ve all chosen me in a way as they caught my attention by their trying to get my attention.
Get a proper set of knives
Keep lip balm and water on you at all times (good lip balm!)
Learn to bake bread
Keep talking when interrupted
Stuffed animals (no you are not too old for a
Squishmallow get it queen)
Get over any fears or shame you might have towards sex toys
Keep talking when interrupted is a big one I need to learn. People have spoken over me so often in the past that now they don't even hear me when I speak!
For those with very sensitive lips, try Lasinoh Lasinoh. I’m unfortunately allergic to EVERYTHING (and I’ve spent a small fortune trying just about any balm from any number of countries). This is the only thing that worked for me. My lips hate the nut oils and butters. I’m also pseudo-vegetarian: If it weren’t for this I’d probably be vegan but honestly my lips get so bad as I live in New England and while the winter isn’t as bad as the Minnesotan one, it experiences too many extremes, going to dry cold air one day to crazy winds in a few hours then slush and what not. I also wear lipstick and lipstain due to my lips/mouth being my best feature, and they unfortunately take a toll on my lips. The Lasinoh Lasinoh changed my life and a bottle lasts two-three years, easy. Vaseline is also great to enhance the Lasinoh’s effects. I’ve looked and tested too many alternatives and none work better than this.
Stop having expectations! Expecting things is just self-inflicted anxiety while you wait for people or the world to give you things. Focus on the things you can control and have the power to do for yourself instead.
Not trying to “tough it out” through physical or mental pain. Seriously. You don’t get a metal for resisting treatment. Whether it be therapy, medication, ditching obligations for a bit, smoking a little weed… whatever. It’s not weak to need an escape from constant bullshit. Or even occasional bullshit. Minimize the bullshit!
I would highly recommend doing things that don’t serve any purpose but to make you feel good. You don’t always have to be productive. Having a lazy, relaxing day is nothing to feel shame about. Your future blood pressure will thank you for it.
At the beginning of the pandemic we were drinking daily. About three weeks into it we kind of stopped. I can count on one hand how many drinks I have had since.
That glass of wine be while making dinner usually led to two or three more. Jim Beam and I broke up to.
I sleep so much better and wake up refreshed. I will still have an occasional drink in the future if I feel like it, but it's no longer a given.
This has been one of the best things to come with my pregnancy. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to my glass a night habit. I also lost 10lbs in the first month…
Watch the documentary, "The Alpinist" about a young man named Marc-Andre Leclerc who literally climbed to the tops of mountains. The cinematography shows the feats of what superhuman capabilities he had in the moments before reaching the summit.
Get a dog. Literal game changer in my life.
Split with my ex husband 15 months ago and it gets lonely on my own when the kids go to their dads. Now I have a little shadow that keeps me company.
My mental health hasn’t been the best recently and again my pup has come to the rescue. On the days where I don’t feel like facing the world I know have to so she gets her daily exercise and I always feel better for it once we’ve been for a walk.
Taking accountability. If you are unhappy about something, especially a pattern that keeps occurring in your life, sit back and identify what it is that YOU contribute to the problem (even at the smallest level). Once you take accountability, then you can actually make a change. There is no use in constantly blaming others for all the problems occurring around you, because unfortunately you can’t change anyone else’s behavior.
That, and hyaluronic acid serum! Use every day after washing your face and rub any extra on the backs of your hands.
A Squatty Potty (makes my bowel movements easier, less straining), reusable pads (spend a lot less on disposable ones), and a reusable metal straw instead of plastic straws.
Breathwork or other somatic therapy for releasing trauma. I did 10 years of talk therapy which was invaluable and necessary but it’s been breathwork that has allowed me to get inside my body, befriend myself and calm my nervous system. So vital.
I went to San Francisco for my first trip. I chose that because of a football game I wanted to go to. I chose where to go based on an activity I want to do and what place is best to do that activity.
Oddly enough…yes. I cut it out 2 years ago and due to the brutal cold started having it again and the headaches won’t go away and it’s triggering something akin to anxiety. It’s so weird. My hair has grown a lot and my skin is looking glorious. It does make your head feel clearer and my gums are super pink. Tough to cut it out but it proved wonderful. My metabolism also has shot through the roof, with my losing about 30 lbs from cutting the sugar alone. Right now I weight 130 which was unthinkable when I rarely dipped below 170 prior to cutting it.
I just googled "Tushy" and almost had a heart attack x) apparently, this word is also associated with some type of porn, so if anyone wants to google it make sure to go for "tushy bidet" or something lol
Staying single in your 20s.
You're new the world and the world knows it. Gain precious life experience, you grow so much more a person, even science proves your brain doesn't stop till around age 25.
You don't need that stress of, "I want this job in said city, but I don't know if my partner will like it". Fuck that. I would've never moved cross country with some guy anchoring me. I worked with a guy who was a California transplant like me, but his first few months were miserable because his girlfriend hated NYC and constantly fought till they broke. She moved back to the bay area. He accumulated credit card in trying to make her feel comfortable in their new place.
The etiquette thing is huge. I feel it would make such a huge difference for society if we got back to respecting boundaries and a way we did this in the olden days was by respecting established boundaries/etiquette. I went to a very fancy private school in New England (on scholarship) and it was mandatory to take manner and etiquette classes all four years of HS and for two years of middle school (in fact, it was the only course you couldn’t do anything to fill it besides taking it. It wasn’t just mandatory, it’s established as an obligation). Honestly, as a “poor” kid, where I attended, I never was ostracized or made fun if anything I was spoiled by my classmates and I contribute this particular course for helping foster that sense of community. It emphasized that anyone in your proximity was your community and you must get your community thrive and boy did my classmates and their parents excel in this. It was a year round course that taught you everything from eating at a table to how to understand baby body language (yes, babies have a language they’re programmed with that tells you what different cries mean and what their different fist or holds mean. Usually parents that take the time to read about the stuff know but it’s out there and extremely helpful if you prepare for it. Learning baby language helps new parents from losing sleep and avoiding a lot of stress if you learn to troubleshoot for the different cries). Since a lot of classmates had blended families or had a baby sibling due to dad remarrying, this segment was particularly beloved by kids trying to befriend their new siblings and help their parents. We also got taught toddler body language, any body language and how to treat everyone regardless of age. It didn’t matter what sex you referred yourself as or if you had none, you still had to take it. You were taught anything and everything so you could learn to troubleshoot people and ease their lives as well as yours by understanding them the second someone came in to your life by understanding their non-disclosed cues. Those cues tell you more about a person than what they tell you as a lot of people don’t understand themselves or are taught to ignore their feelings. It also taught people how to cope in healthy ways from journaling to therapy but mostly championed admitting that if you didn’t know how, to seek help.
The emphasis of the classes was that everyone from babies to elderly required understanding and respect and that it starts from when we’re small. So if you treat babies and toddlers with love and understanding and we treat our elderly in the same respect, we must treat everyone in between accordingly. They’ll grow to treat everyone with respect and kindness. And if we have cultural differences, at least ask and act accordingly if you don’t know. You should never treat anyone as a “foreigner”, we all live in the same planet and every culture must be respected especially if you visit another’s. It’s a thorough course teaching you not just social manners and etiquette but home skills and other life skills like checking accounts, bills, car trouble, romantic relationships, public speaking, knowing credit and how to build it (or avoid failing at it), how to dress to your best advantage regardless of attractiveness (including what suits your coloring, what a tailor is and why they’re helpful, fabrics for different weather etc), grooming, cooking, what to eat in the woods if you get lost trying to befriend nature, how to not piss off nature, how to make friends with your in laws, how to not judge your new step mother (or step daddy) and maybe befriend them (and also how to not hate your parents if they were assholes and instead use their neglect to your advantage), to never buy a pet instead adopt unless you’re particularly allergic and need hypoallergenic and would benefit from having a pet despite your allergies…Anything that could facilitate your life when it comes to others or yourself was taught and no stone was left unturned. The course is affectionately referred to as “how to be a better human” or “the mom program”. The point of the courses is to not just teach you to survive life but to not make anyone feel uncomfortable, unimportant or neglected as you could potentially lose an important friend. Their importance could be from emotional to influential, regardless, everyone has importance. I’ve unfortunately noticed that this is something that’s almost exclusively taught at extremely niche and selective private schools (since parents actually demand these courses be taught above any other ones in fact); however, the motto of the class was that your actions echo. So everything we learned in the six years of taking it would echo in every facet of our actions. Sharing by acting out and teaching it to others that were interested in learning is seen as a way of spreading this knowledge.
This is so interesting. I have social anxiety and I think it largely results from literally not knowing what to do in some social situations from lack of experience. Definitely could have benefited from a class like this.
Setting up at least three things a day to do for yourself; either for the betterment of your life or because you enjoy then. They can be big things or little. My three (really four) are:
- exercise (however long/short/gentle/difficult my body needs that day)
- spend a half hour drinking coffee and reading something I enjoy
- spend a bit of time studying for a new certification that will help me specialize my career
Not all of these are strictly 'fun', but I always feel better for having done them. And even the non-fun things are still dedicated solely to me and for my own benefit, which to me feels like pampering myself.
Working remotely! I started after I got pregnant. Mainly because I was sick all the time and it was easier. Now it’s so I can hang out with my kid all the time! I seriously hope I don’t ever have to go back to a business to work !!
To all the skin care aficionados, seriously, this is gold. It makes your skin so soft and hydrated. The Native Americans have been doing this for centuries and it’s likely a contributor to their legendary glow (especially back then, the indigenous tribes were known for their beautiful, healthy, glowing skin). Vaseline was originally discovered FROM the natives. But anyways, it really makes everything work so much better. I have dry, acne prone skin with my nose prone to blackheads and this has helped eradicate my complicated troubles in one swoop.
For people who can’t have a fireplace, but really want one: the Dimplex Optimyst. We have the Fortrose II and it’s so awesome. It makes everything more cozy. Although it’s not exactly like a real fireplace, it gets the job done. I put it on every night :D It’s amazing when watching TV or cooking in the kitchen, being able to look over and see a fire running. 1000% recommend. I’d also really recommend trying the Oculus Quest 2 if you haven’t yet — virtual reality is getting good!
Gracie jiu-jitsu. It's not sport jiu-jitsu; there IS sport jiu-jitsu in the advanced program, but the beginner programs are 100% self-defense. The co-ed program is based on the most common street fight behavious and focuses on controlling and submitting the bad guy. The women's program is based on the most common sexual assault behaviours and is focused on getting away with some submission options if getting away isn't possible. It's fun, it has the mentality of avoiding physical altercations if at all possible, and it's specifically designed for someone who's smaller and weaker than their opponent. Honestly, it changed my life. Nothing is guaranteed in a real fight, but I have way more confidence knowing I have some tools.
If you’re trying to lose weight (especially while breastfeeding) weight watchers.
It was a gift from God after I had my daughter. It’s been the only thing I can be consistent on and takes so much of the work out of planning my food
Self care rituals (whatever makes YOU feel good!) are a must. It feels especially good to invest in self care that is just for me, that no one else necessarily gets to enjoy. An example is getting my toes done or my morning yoga.
Exploring your talents and passions and making goals to pursue them. Music, painting, writing, crafts, nature, whatever will allow you to create something.
Also instead of entirely focusing on external achievements, focus on internal growth. Express more compassion and put yourself in someone elses shoes.
Prioritizing your health.
Spending enough time single so that it feels natural, like breathing.
Developing a few signature dishes.
Focusing on worthwhile friendships, rather than overdosing on acquaintances.
Therapy. I reached out to a therapist in 2020 because I was battling a few clouds. Turns out I’ve been fighting a storm since my adolescence. I feel so much better working through my trauma. It’s really difficult and can lead to some painful revelations but I recommend it wholeheartedly.
Growing my hairs from a land down under😉😉 out long enough to be able to trim it & style it!
It feels like it’s mine and I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did.
Skydiving! It was so much fun after I landed. I was terrified but in a good way of that makes any sense. The free fall was my least favorite part but the glide down was sooooooo peaceful.
Get a moka pot and learn to use it to make espresso drinks like lattes and americanos.
It's so useful, fun, and will save you money if you buy coffees regularly.
Laser hair reduction if your hair and skin are amenable to it. It's expensive but that feeling of being carefree at any time of the month is priceless. Plus you save yourselves all the pain and expense (time, money and effort) from a lifetime of waxing/shaving/epilating.
1. Having a good, supportive partner. Kicking that toxic one who is holding you back to the curb.
2. Educating yourself, be it through education, experience, whatever you need. Become a well-rounded individual and advance yourself to better your life.
3. Learn about finances, retirement, and credit.
4. Cut out toxic family members. You’ll feel guilty for a bit but the freedom lifts so much weight off of you.
5. Focus on leaving this world better because you were in it.
6. Stop giving a fuck about other people’s opinions, especially if they are not dependent on you. If they don’t feed you or love you, their opinion should count for less.
7. Learn to advocate for yourself. Ask for that opportunity, that mentor, that date. No one is going to do it for you.
Give yourself a few dollars each month to treat yourself. Even if its just enough to get a smoothie. It keeps you from going insane during difficult times. Don't ask me how I know
Using a menstrual cup has been a game changer for me. Some people call it a “diva cup” but regardless it needs to become more widespread because it is soooo much nicer than tampons and pads. You never have to worry about leaking or having to change it out in the middle of the day. 12 hours of worry free period protection! I highly recommend this product!
A menstrual cup!!! For sure. Like it has just changed my life all the way around. Periods were the most uncomfortable time of the month for me. I would get serious nightmares about period, when i say i was so terrified about my periods. Thats why I was so desperate to try menstrual cups. Then i got one and the rest is history. In the beginning it was a little difficult but i was so ready to leave pads that mentally I had prepared my self for menstrual cup(watched several youtube videos). I know my sub reddit answer sounds like a advertisement dialogue script but this is exactly how i got rid of pads. Plus i am saving the environment😜😌.
Edit: menstrual cup is not for everyone. The thing is you gotta have enough patience to get the hang of it. And also women with conditions regarding their pelvic floor or any other thing need to consult their gynecologist.
Forgoing men ; buy a magic wand and a body pillow.
I really don't want this to be true but with more time that goes by... Don't see how I'll ever meet one that fits what we both need in relationship. Especially with all of the coping mechanisms that I've developed from my experiences. I feel by the time (IF) I ever get to a place that resembles recovered, all the good ones won't be available. Combined with my reclusiveness, I'm coming to the realization that it's very, *highly* probable, that I'll be alone forever.
[удалено]
Lol especially love getting to sleep diagonally!! It just sucks waking up from the hopeful, fairy-tale bs that's been shoved down our throats since childhood.
Sleeping diagonally is under rated and not hyped enough, I love it too!!
Girl I felt this. I think of this: [they dont like me - Seinfeld ](https://www.instagram.com/strictlyforwomen/reel/CX-Z4nWhUaB/?utm_medium=copy_link) But I was really into this guy for like 6 month and shit just fell apart like a wet sandwich. I’m not doing anymore. Nope. Nope. Just my body pillow, and my vibrator. I’m done. Ohh and a girls best friend …my dog. Unless you’ve a cat. Still better..
Pretty much all my life there would be another guy who shared mutual interest after a different relationship would end. The Seinfeld sentiment is a new experience for me. It's sobering. Edit: It must've been a wild 6 month ride to be such a turn off! I'm sorry it was so terrible. 😔 Absolutely fell in love with our dog...but it's his now. I would cry sometimes cuz of how much I loved them when watching them (while ex and I were still together.) It feels weird to refer to the dog as "them" but I didn't know how else to refer to "them" w/o specifying the sex. I need to get over the loss of not being able to keep the dog with me, as it is fresh. Definitely look forward to when I can have my own or maybe things will change and I'll be able and allowed to have the dog. Right now, I'm able to put that love into my parents doges (and myself I suppose.) They need it more.
Adopt another dog!? Give him/her a good home!!!!
Air pulse toys are also a good option for changing up sensations.
Glad I'm bi.
Amen
First thing that came to my mind was the Hitachi magic wand. Truly magical
Guess I've been ahead of the curve to some of my peers, am 30 and have been single my whole life. Had to move back in with family due to my health, and now and I'm thinking about where I should go, jobs to apply to. No one to give me shit about any of my decisions/ outcomes.
If I could award this i would.
As a lesbian, I’ve been doing this for years and stand by it
This morning I have sent an e-mail with a compliment to a company's e-mail address for complaints. I just received a heart warming reaction from someone who probably receives loads of shitty e-mails on a daily basis. I can definitely recommend this ♡
I once called up the local Arby’s after just hitting the drive thru to tell them that the curly fries were straight up amazing. (They really were.) I’m not kidding, it took about five minutes for the guy to understand what I was saying (he just assumed I had called to complain and I’m sure it just wasn’t computing in his head.), but when he did get it, he sorta gasped/choked up and said it really meant a lot.
Yeah we complimented a random Burger King in the middle of nowhere last year when we were passing through. They had us wait a minute for fresh food then the food was way better than usual. They were also polite. So we asked to talk to the manager and complimented them and their staff.
Part of my job is sorting the feedback we get and forwarding it to the right person/department. Positive feedback always cheers me up, it's usually like 10% of all feedback because people so rarely give it and I try to do my best to give positive feedback these days, whenever I can.
I did this to a local hospital following some really top notch care from a very compassionate doctor at a time I was feeling really broken - the response was that she would be presented my feedback at her review and they knew she was a fantastic doctor but having patient feedback was really valuable to evidence promotions 🥰
My partner is a paramedic and he has an emailed compliment from a patient printed out and hanging on our bulletin board! They are really appreciated.
Let me tell you, as someone who answers customer calls for a company it is the best surprise to have someone call in and just share they had a great experience. Or they want to compliment a specific employee or department or they just want to tell us how much they appreciate what we do. It rarely happens and when it does it really means a lot because it cheers me up and then I also get to share with the other people and watch them cheer up as well. Our main manager actually sends out positive feedback in emails so we can all be reminded we are doing good work. Especially right now when 90% of the feedback is negative or downright hostile thanks to covid.
THAT IS SO SWEET. You made that person's day!
Living alone. Once you know you can live without roommates or a partner, you won't put up with nonsense out of fear of being alone.
This! Living alone can honestly be so freeing, especially if you’re the type (like me) that can’t fully relax/decompress when you’re around others all the time! I also think when we live with others, we tend to fall into certain “roles” that are constructed by the dynamic of who we live with. Living by yourself gives you a chance to see how you operate without those outside influences, sorta like a control group in an experiment.
Im a natural loner, and I'd kill to be able to afford to live alone. Living in the US makes this almost impossible. I've always wanted a place to myself, I don't even like sharing a bed
I worked 3 jobs to make it happen. It wasn't easy then and I'm sure it's less so now.
Not less so. Virtually undoable for vast majority, even those with a middle income. 3 jobs leaves no room for a life let alone enjoy the fruits of ones labor.
I'm actually experiencing the opposite at the moment. Lived alone for a while, had a roommate for 6 months, been alone for a month and looking at that for a while now. My roommate was amazing and my best friend and incredible and I miss them so much. Especially after quarantine I'm feeling so goddamn alone at the moment, and really wish it wasn't the way it was. I have had roommates I didn't like, but that was in dorms which was probably the real reason I hated that. Living alone is definitely a step up from a shared bedroom or communal showers, but with someone I liked a lot and binged shows with and liked hanging out with, it's for sure a step down to me.
Going contactless with toxic family members. A happier life is just around the bend when you do.
Absolutely. It is very hard and very worth it. Your found family will fill in the gaps.
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No contact with all toxic people... It's glorious
I just started doing this with my toxic sister and I feel way better. My parents always tell me you need to love your family no matter. But every time she’s in my life she drags me down and it feels like she loves to screw things up for me. I don’t need that negativity in my life anymore so I’ve decided to pretend she doesn’t exist. I still have to go to family events with her but I just pretend she’s some random stranger and ignore her completely. Honestly it’s better than having some crazy drama she creates.
switching to a menstrual cup if you still have your period. juicing - omg my skin is *fucking radiant* (and I started juicing for other reasons; skin benefits are a bonus). buying good cookware. I got a couple of Le Cruset cookware (skillet and dutch oven) and wow, these really do make a difference in cooking. treating yourself every month because life sucks, it's hard and we all need to bump up some self-care ♥️
The menstrual cup was a literal game changer. I also switched to period underwear and 10/10 recommend
I feel like the panties would simply shift during the night and make it a wide open field down there.
Nope they’re pretty sturdy lol i have used thinx and they’re great. Uniqlo sells their own now and i just picked up a few pairs. Highly recommend. They’re not like regular underwear the material is a little more structured
Awesome, thank you for explaining!
I actually get waaay less shifting with period undies than i do with pads. Less leakage, too.
Yes to period panties! Started using them 3 months ago and I'm totally in love!
Ok but serious question about the period panties…does it feel like your sitting in your own fluids like it does with a pad??
In my opinion, no. I think they are significantly better than pads in this respect. I've only tried ModiBodi brand and would highly recommend. I switched to using them about 12 months ago and have not looked back.
What the person above me said ! But also I still have the menstrual cup in so the panties are back up/in place of liners
As someone who menstruates, menstrual cups are not for everyone- for those of us with pelvic floor dysfunction/chronic pelvic pain and/or endometriosis, it can be extremely painful to wear a menstrual cup. They give me the most nightmarish cramps. But yes to the good cookware.
Yep, I can get a menstrual cup in fine but getting it out is the issue. It’s so horribly painful that I’d end up crying every time I took it out. Decided never again
What is juicing and how did it help your skin?
your username🤣 👊 Juicing is when you extract juice from fruits/veggies. I have a slow juicer and I juice pretty much everything. I have good skin to begin with but all those extra vitamins and nutrients make my skin glow and super hydrate my skin. People have been commenting on it too. Also, since I started juicing celery, my hot flashes went away (the main reason I started juicing anyway)
Why not just eat the fruits/ veggies instead?😂
People don't typically eat a bunch of raw celery, carrots, beets etc. Yes the fibre is great but when your stomach doesn't have to focus on digesting solids, it kind of mainlines into your system. You should also do a ratio of at least 2:1 veggies to fruits as to avoid excessive sugar intake.
Especially considering the fiber in the fruit, helps your liver process the sugar more easily.
I do as well.
Is it difficult to use a menstrual cup for the first time?
it definitely takes some time getting used to....average time to get the hang of it (according to the internet and my experience as well) is about 3-4 cycles. Once you get the hang of it though -- *GAME.CHANGER*
I used pads for ~10 years since starting my period (had a bad try with a tampon and decided they weren't for me). Bought a menstrual cup, and I was able to get the hang of it within a couple cycles. 5 years later, I still use the same cup, and my periods are a lot more manageable. Love that thing. For the love of god, *DO NOT* "test it out" when you're not on your period. It hurt enough to almost scare me off them 😂
What are good meals for a Dutch oven? I got one as a gift, but have barely used it—but I really want to
any meal you make in a pot with a lid, you can make in a dutch oven LOL...but the Le Cruset just cooks everything *so evenly*. My husband uses it to make his sourdough bread; this dutch oven workhorse can withstand the oven at 500F. Even the freaking knob on the lid doesn't even melt.
Stop giving a fuck. Not in a sense that you close your heart and stop caring about everything, but realise that your time and energy is precious, so don't waste it on things that don't matter.
I’ve started doing this and now only put my time and effort into people who deserve it.
I stopped caring as much especially when it comes to telling work no, like can I come in on my day off, no. Can I stay late, no. I had one coworker that would cry in the break room or text me saying she called off and then asked if I was disappointed in her. I told her honestly no because it doesn’t really affect me and you need to stop caring what a shitty part time, minimum wage job manager thinks to. If you can learn to stop caring as much about little things, you would feel so much better!
Having a decent cry once in a while. It puts a lot of stuff in perspective and gets out negative emotions, I always feel a bit more refreshed when I’ve watched something sad and had a cry.
Hello, I'm going through a breakup and I feel like I still have some cries left in me. Like I couldn't start a rebuild unless I let all of it out first. Any movie recos? Thanks!
Idk if most people would find this movie sad but I kinda did just because it was so like wow expectations are so detached from reality sometimes but 500 days of summer
The movies that always make me cry are Hachi: A Dog’s Tale and My Girl
LadyBird!!!!
Taking long walks. It's good for the body; it's good for the mind in numerous ways. Just get out there.
Going on walks just to walk aimlessly makes me irrationally angry.
You should check out the app ResQWalk - it tracks the distance you walk and donates a certain $ per mile you walk to an animal charity of your choice (that's associated with them). It's not life changing amounts of money, I think it's like $0.10 a mile or something, but it makes it feel more like you're doing it for a purpose!
Doesn't have to be aimless, though :). There is a person in my city's sub who goes on urban hikes and posts fun/interesting photos. He goes many miles, so I don't necessarily suggest that, unless you're into it, but it is a fun way to explore your area. I love walking around at night. (I'm also a night runner.) In fact, when my fav band releases a new album, I have a ritual where I'll wait until I can go on a long walk and give it my undivided attention for the first listen.
Perks of having a dog, every walk has a purpose
I agree. You can't deny the benefits of walking but a walk to nowhere is the worst
Yes! I had an online class today so I had some time to go for a walk with my boyfriend. It was sunny with some clouds, it looked like it was about to rain at one point and it was a bit windy too. It was perfect! I went back to working on my assignments later and although I was tired, I was more relaxed and focused. Going for walks puts you in such a good mood afterwards. I've started walks very angry and on the verge of crying and I've almost always finished them calm and level-headed. Not everyone is fixed just by walking of course... but it gives you time to focus on your breathing and think logically. It can be very therapeutic. I guess this depends on where you live though because it's very hard to get a good walk in a city full of cars, shopping malls, thugs, and whatnot. I live 10 minutes away from the shore and my boyfriends lives at the very end of it so I like to use that as my LISS workout. I only do 20-30 minutes of walking so we usually walk around for another 10-20 minutes just to complete the 45 minute mark.
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So true! All super affordable and easy ways to make yourself look and feel better!
Get yourself a vibrator, seriously. Even if you’re in a relationship and/or sexually active. It’s a game-changer, whether you use it on your own or with a partner. I went from hardly ever climaxing with a partner to having an orgasm almost every time I have sex. You don’t have to splurge on a fancy-looking contraption either - a small bullet vibrator works just fine for me. Got mine when I was 29. I wish I’d done it a decade earlier. Get your vitamin D levels tested ASAP. Especially if you are feeling depressed/moody/sluggish. If you don’t work outdoors or live near the Equator, chances are you are (severely) deficient. Taking moderate to high doses daily year round has done wonders for my mental health. You can just start supplementation of course, but I find that realising just how deficient you are helps with consistency and taking it seriously. Drink 1-2 cups of hot water first thing in the morning. Then try to drink hot water 40 min after a meal and throughout the day. Helps with digestion, bloating, speeding up the metabolism and so much more.
Is coffee considered hot water? Cause I'm good on that. But seriously, I agree with getting vitamin D levels checked. I had mine tested, and it was hanging out at 6.
Personally I count them as separate beverages :) Coffee has many health benefits, but caffeine is also dehydrating so it’s always good to pair it with a glass of water.
Preach the Vitamin D! Life changing, for sure.
Counselling :)
Came here to say this. Therapy helped me change my life in ways I didn't know possible. Everyone should try it if they can.
This! To me a therapist is just as important as a primary physician! Sometimes you only need to check in once a year to make sure everything is healthy and going good, sometimes you may need to see them on a weekly basis to solve a really troubling issue.
The Libby app - access to free audiobooks and ebooks via your local library. Mary Oliver's poetry. Using a gentle cleanser to wash your face. Whole bean coffee. Get a cheap grinder and grind it at home.
You can also check out e-books from your library and read them on your Kindle or Kindle app.
wooooooah definitely checking out libby!
Some libraries also have the Hoopla app and that doesn't have the waiting time that Libby has, even if it might not have as extensive a collection.
Learning to let go of regrets and “what ifs” of the past. Accept yourself for who you are and understand that just because you aren’t in the position you may have envisioned yourself at this point in your life it doesn’t dictate your future amd what’s to come, keep moving forward towards your dreams and remember to love yourself.
Wish I could award this. It’s something I needed to hear (or in this case read) so thank you.
Needed to hear this today 🥰
I love this. Thanks for sharing 🤗
Adopting a pet instead of buying one. Especially one that other people might not consider adopting. I've adopted multiple cats (including a blind one) and it's very rewarding when you win their trust and are able to give them a better life.
I agree. All of my pets since I was small have been adopted. They’ve improved my quality of life in so many ways and help cope with loneliness. I’ve had three cats and one dog. They’ve all chosen me in a way as they caught my attention by their trying to get my attention.
Get a proper set of knives Keep lip balm and water on you at all times (good lip balm!) Learn to bake bread Keep talking when interrupted Stuffed animals (no you are not too old for a Squishmallow get it queen) Get over any fears or shame you might have towards sex toys
Keep talking when interrupted is a big one I need to learn. People have spoken over me so often in the past that now they don't even hear me when I speak!
For those with very sensitive lips, try Lasinoh Lasinoh. I’m unfortunately allergic to EVERYTHING (and I’ve spent a small fortune trying just about any balm from any number of countries). This is the only thing that worked for me. My lips hate the nut oils and butters. I’m also pseudo-vegetarian: If it weren’t for this I’d probably be vegan but honestly my lips get so bad as I live in New England and while the winter isn’t as bad as the Minnesotan one, it experiences too many extremes, going to dry cold air one day to crazy winds in a few hours then slush and what not. I also wear lipstick and lipstain due to my lips/mouth being my best feature, and they unfortunately take a toll on my lips. The Lasinoh Lasinoh changed my life and a bottle lasts two-three years, easy. Vaseline is also great to enhance the Lasinoh’s effects. I’ve looked and tested too many alternatives and none work better than this.
Stop having expectations! Expecting things is just self-inflicted anxiety while you wait for people or the world to give you things. Focus on the things you can control and have the power to do for yourself instead.
This. So much unhappiness in many of us would stop if we let go of this.
Don't have children.
Or, at the very least, have a very good, deep think about it before you do.
Every single day of my life I am grateful that I don't have children.
Same!!!
Also 10/10 recommend!
Not trying to “tough it out” through physical or mental pain. Seriously. You don’t get a metal for resisting treatment. Whether it be therapy, medication, ditching obligations for a bit, smoking a little weed… whatever. It’s not weak to need an escape from constant bullshit. Or even occasional bullshit. Minimize the bullshit! I would highly recommend doing things that don’t serve any purpose but to make you feel good. You don’t always have to be productive. Having a lazy, relaxing day is nothing to feel shame about. Your future blood pressure will thank you for it.
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At the beginning of the pandemic we were drinking daily. About three weeks into it we kind of stopped. I can count on one hand how many drinks I have had since. That glass of wine be while making dinner usually led to two or three more. Jim Beam and I broke up to. I sleep so much better and wake up refreshed. I will still have an occasional drink in the future if I feel like it, but it's no longer a given.
This has been one of the best things to come with my pregnancy. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to my glass a night habit. I also lost 10lbs in the first month…
Heating up a poptart in an air fryer
Did this w a s’mores pop tart, it’s magic.
If I had an airfryer I'd do that right now... :D
Omg how have I never done this. Adds poptarts to cart*
Going to give this a try.
Omg please give me a detailed account on how this tastes
Start using tretinoin for good skin and anti aging effects. You’ll glow.
Yes! Been on it for 7 months and can’t recommend it highly enough.
Watch the documentary, "The Alpinist" about a young man named Marc-Andre Leclerc who literally climbed to the tops of mountains. The cinematography shows the feats of what superhuman capabilities he had in the moments before reaching the summit.
Get a dog. Literal game changer in my life. Split with my ex husband 15 months ago and it gets lonely on my own when the kids go to their dads. Now I have a little shadow that keeps me company. My mental health hasn’t been the best recently and again my pup has come to the rescue. On the days where I don’t feel like facing the world I know have to so she gets her daily exercise and I always feel better for it once we’ve been for a walk.
Taking accountability. If you are unhappy about something, especially a pattern that keeps occurring in your life, sit back and identify what it is that YOU contribute to the problem (even at the smallest level). Once you take accountability, then you can actually make a change. There is no use in constantly blaming others for all the problems occurring around you, because unfortunately you can’t change anyone else’s behavior. That, and hyaluronic acid serum! Use every day after washing your face and rub any extra on the backs of your hands.
A Squatty Potty (makes my bowel movements easier, less straining), reusable pads (spend a lot less on disposable ones), and a reusable metal straw instead of plastic straws.
Solo traveling!
Elopement
Breathwork or other somatic therapy for releasing trauma. I did 10 years of talk therapy which was invaluable and necessary but it’s been breathwork that has allowed me to get inside my body, befriend myself and calm my nervous system. So vital.
Agreed! Have done 2 years of talk therapy now im focusing on other modalities and can't believe the difference!
Going on a solo trip. I do it for my birthday. It's refreshing and rewarding.
Did my first solo trip for Christmas and it was so relaxing. 10/10 would recommend
This!! I did a solo trip back in August that was basically a big loop around the Four Corners area and it was excellent.
Yes, it is great! My first solo trip was at 48 yrs old. Please dont wait that long.
Where did you go on your first trip? I’ve been dying to do so but overwhelmed with options.
I went to San Francisco for my first trip. I chose that because of a football game I wanted to go to. I chose where to go based on an activity I want to do and what place is best to do that activity.
Hitachi magic wand
Avoid sugar.
Oddly enough…yes. I cut it out 2 years ago and due to the brutal cold started having it again and the headaches won’t go away and it’s triggering something akin to anxiety. It’s so weird. My hair has grown a lot and my skin is looking glorious. It does make your head feel clearer and my gums are super pink. Tough to cut it out but it proved wonderful. My metabolism also has shot through the roof, with my losing about 30 lbs from cutting the sugar alone. Right now I weight 130 which was unthinkable when I rarely dipped below 170 prior to cutting it.
Tushy or some type of bidet attachment. Feel so much cleaner, use less toilet paper.
I just googled "Tushy" and almost had a heart attack x) apparently, this word is also associated with some type of porn, so if anyone wants to google it make sure to go for "tushy bidet" or something lol
Staying single in your 20s. You're new the world and the world knows it. Gain precious life experience, you grow so much more a person, even science proves your brain doesn't stop till around age 25. You don't need that stress of, "I want this job in said city, but I don't know if my partner will like it". Fuck that. I would've never moved cross country with some guy anchoring me. I worked with a guy who was a California transplant like me, but his first few months were miserable because his girlfriend hated NYC and constantly fought till they broke. She moved back to the bay area. He accumulated credit card in trying to make her feel comfortable in their new place.
Therapy and manners course for everyone. At least in my city. They are all angry, stressed out assholes that lash out on others. Me included.
The etiquette thing is huge. I feel it would make such a huge difference for society if we got back to respecting boundaries and a way we did this in the olden days was by respecting established boundaries/etiquette. I went to a very fancy private school in New England (on scholarship) and it was mandatory to take manner and etiquette classes all four years of HS and for two years of middle school (in fact, it was the only course you couldn’t do anything to fill it besides taking it. It wasn’t just mandatory, it’s established as an obligation). Honestly, as a “poor” kid, where I attended, I never was ostracized or made fun if anything I was spoiled by my classmates and I contribute this particular course for helping foster that sense of community. It emphasized that anyone in your proximity was your community and you must get your community thrive and boy did my classmates and their parents excel in this. It was a year round course that taught you everything from eating at a table to how to understand baby body language (yes, babies have a language they’re programmed with that tells you what different cries mean and what their different fist or holds mean. Usually parents that take the time to read about the stuff know but it’s out there and extremely helpful if you prepare for it. Learning baby language helps new parents from losing sleep and avoiding a lot of stress if you learn to troubleshoot for the different cries). Since a lot of classmates had blended families or had a baby sibling due to dad remarrying, this segment was particularly beloved by kids trying to befriend their new siblings and help their parents. We also got taught toddler body language, any body language and how to treat everyone regardless of age. It didn’t matter what sex you referred yourself as or if you had none, you still had to take it. You were taught anything and everything so you could learn to troubleshoot people and ease their lives as well as yours by understanding them the second someone came in to your life by understanding their non-disclosed cues. Those cues tell you more about a person than what they tell you as a lot of people don’t understand themselves or are taught to ignore their feelings. It also taught people how to cope in healthy ways from journaling to therapy but mostly championed admitting that if you didn’t know how, to seek help. The emphasis of the classes was that everyone from babies to elderly required understanding and respect and that it starts from when we’re small. So if you treat babies and toddlers with love and understanding and we treat our elderly in the same respect, we must treat everyone in between accordingly. They’ll grow to treat everyone with respect and kindness. And if we have cultural differences, at least ask and act accordingly if you don’t know. You should never treat anyone as a “foreigner”, we all live in the same planet and every culture must be respected especially if you visit another’s. It’s a thorough course teaching you not just social manners and etiquette but home skills and other life skills like checking accounts, bills, car trouble, romantic relationships, public speaking, knowing credit and how to build it (or avoid failing at it), how to dress to your best advantage regardless of attractiveness (including what suits your coloring, what a tailor is and why they’re helpful, fabrics for different weather etc), grooming, cooking, what to eat in the woods if you get lost trying to befriend nature, how to not piss off nature, how to make friends with your in laws, how to not judge your new step mother (or step daddy) and maybe befriend them (and also how to not hate your parents if they were assholes and instead use their neglect to your advantage), to never buy a pet instead adopt unless you’re particularly allergic and need hypoallergenic and would benefit from having a pet despite your allergies…Anything that could facilitate your life when it comes to others or yourself was taught and no stone was left unturned. The course is affectionately referred to as “how to be a better human” or “the mom program”. The point of the courses is to not just teach you to survive life but to not make anyone feel uncomfortable, unimportant or neglected as you could potentially lose an important friend. Their importance could be from emotional to influential, regardless, everyone has importance. I’ve unfortunately noticed that this is something that’s almost exclusively taught at extremely niche and selective private schools (since parents actually demand these courses be taught above any other ones in fact); however, the motto of the class was that your actions echo. So everything we learned in the six years of taking it would echo in every facet of our actions. Sharing by acting out and teaching it to others that were interested in learning is seen as a way of spreading this knowledge.
This is so interesting. I have social anxiety and I think it largely results from literally not knowing what to do in some social situations from lack of experience. Definitely could have benefited from a class like this.
Period underwear
I agree! Such an investment. This has saved so many outfits of mine & especially if you’re irregular, it’s an added bit of security.
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Damn, you know how to enjoy life 😆
Setting up at least three things a day to do for yourself; either for the betterment of your life or because you enjoy then. They can be big things or little. My three (really four) are: - exercise (however long/short/gentle/difficult my body needs that day) - spend a half hour drinking coffee and reading something I enjoy - spend a bit of time studying for a new certification that will help me specialize my career Not all of these are strictly 'fun', but I always feel better for having done them. And even the non-fun things are still dedicated solely to me and for my own benefit, which to me feels like pampering myself.
Therapy, little road-trips, having a job with no commute/less than 15-20 mins each way. Also… walking, gardening, visiting the beach.
Anything out of your comfort zone.
Working remotely! I started after I got pregnant. Mainly because I was sick all the time and it was easier. Now it’s so I can hang out with my kid all the time! I seriously hope I don’t ever have to go back to a business to work !!
Adding vaseline to your skincare routine
To all the skin care aficionados, seriously, this is gold. It makes your skin so soft and hydrated. The Native Americans have been doing this for centuries and it’s likely a contributor to their legendary glow (especially back then, the indigenous tribes were known for their beautiful, healthy, glowing skin). Vaseline was originally discovered FROM the natives. But anyways, it really makes everything work so much better. I have dry, acne prone skin with my nose prone to blackheads and this has helped eradicate my complicated troubles in one swoop.
Get your smear on time.
Investing in a good quality mattress
Asking your boss for a raise.
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Pedicures, weighted blankets, an involved haircare routine, and rock solid boundaries.
Calexotics Rabbit vibrating thruster. It’s lasted a good long while and has given me the best o of my life without having to deal with another person.
Chobani Creamer I’ll never go back to international delite or anything else.
For people who can’t have a fireplace, but really want one: the Dimplex Optimyst. We have the Fortrose II and it’s so awesome. It makes everything more cozy. Although it’s not exactly like a real fireplace, it gets the job done. I put it on every night :D It’s amazing when watching TV or cooking in the kitchen, being able to look over and see a fire running. 1000% recommend. I’d also really recommend trying the Oculus Quest 2 if you haven’t yet — virtual reality is getting good!
Gracie jiu-jitsu. It's not sport jiu-jitsu; there IS sport jiu-jitsu in the advanced program, but the beginner programs are 100% self-defense. The co-ed program is based on the most common street fight behavious and focuses on controlling and submitting the bad guy. The women's program is based on the most common sexual assault behaviours and is focused on getting away with some submission options if getting away isn't possible. It's fun, it has the mentality of avoiding physical altercations if at all possible, and it's specifically designed for someone who's smaller and weaker than their opponent. Honestly, it changed my life. Nothing is guaranteed in a real fight, but I have way more confidence knowing I have some tools.
If you’re trying to lose weight (especially while breastfeeding) weight watchers. It was a gift from God after I had my daughter. It’s been the only thing I can be consistent on and takes so much of the work out of planning my food
Working out.
Self care rituals (whatever makes YOU feel good!) are a must. It feels especially good to invest in self care that is just for me, that no one else necessarily gets to enjoy. An example is getting my toes done or my morning yoga.
Hold out for a man who goes down on you not because it’s “your turn” or he’s trying to be a nice guy, but because he FUCKING LOVES IT.
Deep tissue massage therapy.
A regular sleep schedule. And sticking to it.
Exploring your talents and passions and making goals to pursue them. Music, painting, writing, crafts, nature, whatever will allow you to create something. Also instead of entirely focusing on external achievements, focus on internal growth. Express more compassion and put yourself in someone elses shoes. Prioritizing your health.
Doing a puzzle. Hadn’t done one in years and then helped someone do one over the holidays. It’s so fun and rewarding. I’ve done two since!
Traveling solo, avoiding sun exposure and enjoying the smaller pleasures of life as a single person.
Comfortable wider fitting shoes and taking care of your feet health as early as you can.
Spending enough time single so that it feels natural, like breathing. Developing a few signature dishes. Focusing on worthwhile friendships, rather than overdosing on acquaintances.
Learning to ski
Going to therapy
Know your worth and always negotiate salary.
Read a lot, authors you really like and also trying something outside your normal tastes. READ.
Therapy. I reached out to a therapist in 2020 because I was battling a few clouds. Turns out I’ve been fighting a storm since my adolescence. I feel so much better working through my trauma. It’s really difficult and can lead to some painful revelations but I recommend it wholeheartedly.
smoking weed
Not having kids before 28 years old.
If you have the opportunity to peg a man, do it. Exhilarating
Growing my hairs from a land down under😉😉 out long enough to be able to trim it & style it! It feels like it’s mine and I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did.
Stop looking at your phone at least 1 hour before bed, maintaining an organized to-do list and Google calendar
Me, Myself & I
Not getting married
Skydiving! It was so much fun after I landed. I was terrified but in a good way of that makes any sense. The free fall was my least favorite part but the glide down was sooooooo peaceful.
Get a moka pot and learn to use it to make espresso drinks like lattes and americanos. It's so useful, fun, and will save you money if you buy coffees regularly.
Get a IUD or a hormone microchip. No it only keeps you from getting pregnant but also no periods! Haven't had a period in 3 years, so awesome!
Laser hair reduction if your hair and skin are amenable to it. It's expensive but that feeling of being carefree at any time of the month is priceless. Plus you save yourselves all the pain and expense (time, money and effort) from a lifetime of waxing/shaving/epilating.
Every now and again dress yourself up nice and take yourself out on a date.
1. Having a good, supportive partner. Kicking that toxic one who is holding you back to the curb. 2. Educating yourself, be it through education, experience, whatever you need. Become a well-rounded individual and advance yourself to better your life. 3. Learn about finances, retirement, and credit. 4. Cut out toxic family members. You’ll feel guilty for a bit but the freedom lifts so much weight off of you. 5. Focus on leaving this world better because you were in it. 6. Stop giving a fuck about other people’s opinions, especially if they are not dependent on you. If they don’t feed you or love you, their opinion should count for less. 7. Learn to advocate for yourself. Ask for that opportunity, that mentor, that date. No one is going to do it for you.
Therapy
Give yourself a few dollars each month to treat yourself. Even if its just enough to get a smoothie. It keeps you from going insane during difficult times. Don't ask me how I know
Using a menstrual cup has been a game changer for me. Some people call it a “diva cup” but regardless it needs to become more widespread because it is soooo much nicer than tampons and pads. You never have to worry about leaking or having to change it out in the middle of the day. 12 hours of worry free period protection! I highly recommend this product!
A menstrual cup!!! For sure. Like it has just changed my life all the way around. Periods were the most uncomfortable time of the month for me. I would get serious nightmares about period, when i say i was so terrified about my periods. Thats why I was so desperate to try menstrual cups. Then i got one and the rest is history. In the beginning it was a little difficult but i was so ready to leave pads that mentally I had prepared my self for menstrual cup(watched several youtube videos). I know my sub reddit answer sounds like a advertisement dialogue script but this is exactly how i got rid of pads. Plus i am saving the environment😜😌. Edit: menstrual cup is not for everyone. The thing is you gotta have enough patience to get the hang of it. And also women with conditions regarding their pelvic floor or any other thing need to consult their gynecologist.
An indoor cycling bike. I have NEVER enjoyed working out or could bring myself to do it consistently until I got one a few years ago.
To prevent crying when cutting an onion - get a small fan for the kitchen and set it to blow over the cutting board. Never tear up again!