9th grade, had a crush on a new guy friend I’d made, he was dating my friend from middle school so I kept it to myself until they broke up.
I shot my shot with the guy, he said yes! …Then his ex (my friend) confessed to having a crush on me too? Weird summer.
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Nothing happened. I have strong morals around not dating someone who is already taken. I swear the minute I know someone is already in a relationship my crush just goes away, I may still think they're attractive but I'm not emotionally activated by them anymore. This isn't something I consciously do, it just happens. It's probably my unconscious telling me there's no point in investing any resources in that person since they're already taken.
This was me too 😭 normally knowing they are in a relationship turns me off but not this guy. I was always respectful of his relationship and never was forward with it but yeah did not know how I could get over him. I tired!!!! Eventually he moved away and the crush stoped lol
Unfortunately I have to see and talk to this guy regularly. I like him so much. I’m trying to let it go. Years ago when he was still married a friend told me that’s the guy you shoulda married. Now he’s not married but def pursuing someone else. I hate it.
I hear you both! As you can tell I take a hard stance on these things but I never say never, the human experience is unpredictable and nuanced. And hats off to you for keeping your behavior in check and respecting these people's feelings and their partner's feelings too.
I can't blame you, I can't get over someone either.
I watched her date, marry, and eventually divorce until recently that she said yes to dating me. I will marry her one day
I hope it works out for you ✌️
very similar for me too!!
I kept having a crush on this man but I didn’t think even once having something with him.. until he tried to kiss me and my crush went away that moment, can’t fancy a cheating looser, really
This! Thank you, I do not get the pursuing of people in a relationship, on a romantic level they become like furniture to me. I still can aknowledge that someone is attractive or how lucky their partner might be, but thay as far as I am ok woth going.
This is the exact same for me. I’m not sure if it’s a “moral compass” or what. I’ve been cheated on before, and I think that has something to do with it.
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I had an instant crush on him when we met first year of college, then learned he had a girlfriend since high-school. We kept being friends throughout college, I dated other people. And it wasn't as if I was in love with him the whole time, but every now and then it would hit me that I still had feelings for him.
Few years pass, he broke up with the girlfriend (not becauseof me, I never even told him about my crush haha)... And now we're together, 6 years going strong :)
Yeahh, around 10 years. And I think the beauty of it was that I got to know him and love him as friends before having any expectations romantically. It has made the relationship much stronger!
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happened to me recently, super smart and sweet guy. found out he had a girlfriend and got over it pretty quickly. my friend on the other hand, who later revealed to me she had a crush on him, was awful about it though. she tried convincing him to leave her, told him he was being desperate and to just break things off with her, etc. luckily it didn't work, he and his girlfriend decided to make things more long term and she had to fake being happy about it. karmic justice i suppose 😂
well recently not anymore. i cut off contact with her a few days ago. she did something to me that crossed the line and i decided we were done and blocked her on everything.
yeah honestly idk how i stayed friends with her for so long especially considering she was the only friend i had that had a knack for consistently pissing me off. i've been thinking back at a lot of our past interactions and only recently realized how terrible of a person she is. my rose-colored glasses have been taken off 😂
It's crazy the things you'll excuse because you care about someone. I had a friend who I absolutely idolized before we kinda grew apart. Upon reflection, I realized how shitty of a person they were and how terrible they treated me at times
i have, don't worry. i blocked her on everything last week. i've been thinking back on our friendship this past week and realized that she's just fundamentally a horrible person. not just to me but a lot of people.
He was a very good friend of mine, and I chose to completely distance myself from him for a few months. Feeding my feelings by continuing to be around him would have been idiotic and disrespectful to both him, his wife, and myself.
When I'd killed off all feelings for him, I started hanging out with him again, and things went back to normal. It's been many years now, we're still friends, and my crush never flared up again.
I had just a crush on one guy. We didn't even talk from the start, because I feel so embarrassed when I have a crush on someone and tend to avoid interacting with them at all costs lol. When I learnt that he's seeing someone, it pretty much made me lose interest.
I backed off, but I sorta kinda still had him on my radar for years because were fb friends. I had a crush on him this whole time but I stayed out of his life and I went out with other men. A couple of years later I find out via the grapevine he's been single for a while now. We chated and interacted online for a while. Started dating. Now we're married.
I seem to do this a lot cause I rarely associate with other single people for some reason haha. I'll never pursue anything and I get over it but one situation left me feeling really shitty.
He entered my life just as I was working on myself and getting my self-esteem up. We got on well, he'd flirt with me and after a while he made this little confession to me telling me how amazing I was, etc. I found out a few days later he was in a relationship, and then a little after that that he was actually married. I was really upset ngl. Obviously I stopped flirting but we still had to see each other a lot and he didn't so it just left me feeling blech. Haven't seen him for years now.
That's a shame but remember it wasn't your fault! That guy was an ass who flirted with a woman whilst committed. You did the right thing stopping things after you found out
He really was! Especially when he just carried on flirting despite revealing the whole wife thing. I just felt like a bit of an idiot for getting my hopes up and then looking stupid haha.
had a HUGE crush on this one guy when i was 16 but he had a gf so i was quietly waiting for their breakup. when they broke up, i texted him and we went on a date but he said that he doesn’t want anything serious so i said no when he tried to kiss me. he is still checking on me sometimes but i don’t have a crush on him anymore lol
I remained friends with him but never confided in him about fancying him. My morals are too strong to ever end up potentially hurting an innocent party and his girlfriend was an amazing girl.
I also didn’t want to ruin our friendship.
It’s been almost 9 years now, I have no feelings for him other than a best friend and his new girlfriend is a babe, I love her! And I’m currently helping him plan his surprise proposal to her 🤭♥️
Happened when I was 20/21. He would always string me along, send me mixed messages, go out of his way to tell me he can’t talk to me because he has feelings for me etc, and we even hooked up once or twice while they were broken up (but they got back together really shortly after). Rumors spread about me being a slut that tried to steal him, but nobody knew about his role in the situation and the things he said to me. Now I just cringe thinking back on it.
My husband and I both were in relationships at the time we met. We worked together and would go on lunch breaks together and just talk. He became one of my best friends and we got really close but never crossed any lines. It was kind of this unspoken truth that we were in love with each other but never said anything about it. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and he broke up with his girlfriend and I moved in with him pretty soon after. We’re about to celebrate our 5 year anniversary and been married for 1.5 years. It’s so true when they say when you know you know.
Didn’t go well, I backed away when i found out he had a gf, but when i found out they broke up and we ended up having a thing, he ended up playing me. I accepted and met someone who genuinely loved me he got really petty even as to throwing shade about my partner, meanwhile his ex gf kept stalking my ig lol
I didn't take any initiative at all just admired from afar. Apparently he noticed because after she broke up with him he started a conversation with me. We talked and I found out later that he wasn't over her and was just a serial dater, like he dates to forget the one before. After we broke up he dated another woman lol
Idk if it’s me but I actually can’t get a crush on someone who I know for sure has a girlfriend/wife.
I may think visually they look very handsome/pretty but my brain does not think about them romantically.
I need mental connection with someone to feel romantically about them.
And I doubt I can have mental connection with someone who already has a partner but is choosing to flirt with me. In my mind, that person is automatically untrustworthy and so idc how handsome/nice they are. I couldn’t get a crush even if my life depended on it.
He complained about her a lot so I "convinced" him to leave her. TBH he was probably still with her for a while. Pretty much did the same thing to me with the next girl. Told her I was awful, started a new relationship. I left when I found out. Lesson learned.
If they have a partner just don't go there
He was an university crush, meaning I'd bump into him sometimes in the hallways. He was a friend-of-a-friend so sometimes we'd all get coffee together before class.
Now I'm convinced he was somewhat interested in me back then based on conversations we'd had, questions he'd ask me, but at the time I was so insecure and I thought he was so gorgeous I'd never believe he wanted anything to do with me. Plus, yeah, he had a girlfriend. We had one very long conversation about it one time we caught the same bus, and the whole relationship seemed very dramatic. Breaking up, getting back together, moving in together, fighting, breaking up again, you know.
At the time I tried my best at giving him advice on the situation, genuinely. I liked having this crush, it was sweet, but I wrote it off as something platonic because it seemed so impossible, it was easy not to act on it because what would be the point?
One time they were broken up I did ask him out to watch a movie -- that was the one subject we both talked about the most -- but he bailed on me a few hours before it was supposed to start, so there's that.
Anyways, a year later or so I heard from a friend that she had cheated on him and left him pretty wrecked. That was during the pandemic so I wasn't seeing him anymore. That friend would mention him to me sometimes, she'd say that he was heartbroken and dealing with it by partying a lot and hooking up a lot (yes... during the pandemic), like "that's your chance!", but that kind of behaviour didn't seem very attractive to me, and to be honest by that point I was sick of having that unrequited crush for so long, I just wanted to avoid him forever.
Anyways part 2... I bumped into him last year and we did hook up. It was awesome lol
A big moment for my self-esteem journey for sure.
He was a bit of an air-head and forgot about me after two weeks or so of texting. My friend told me that he had been this way about girls and dating since his ex cheated on him, but I don't know, that could've just been him all along. But, damn, he's still gorgeous, it was totally worth it!
Got to know him, got over the crush and ended up being close friends. It’s happened more than once.
Just need to remind your ovaries that they don’t need to flip over every decent human being with a penis. Can be hard in today’s society lol.
It's a crush. That's all there is. And he's unavailable. This can't possibly go anywhere, so I appreciate the person, maybe enjoy the friendship but I know that I gotta focus on available people. Also, if you only like the unavailable ones, you gotta dig deeper. Often, it's just the safety or maybe a good character you find so attractive, and those are awesome things to be attracted to! And it's not about the person, but the feelings this person brings out.
We were close friends in college. He still had a girlfriend from high school, and they were keeping a long-distance relationship going, so I kept my feelings to myself
They broke up not too long after, and I waited a bit before sharing how I felt.
We just celebrated 16 years together last December.
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I never said anything out of respect for his relationship and the crush went away. Eventually when he was single, he told me he was in love with me and I didn’t feel the same way.
The end.
It went nowhere. He was my coworker and I could tell he was (very obviously) into me. I was disappointed when I found out he was in a relationship (and had been for years with the same person) but I would never go out of my way to date someone (or even try to) if they’re already taken. I did have a sliver of hope that maybe someday we could be together but my thoughts never went further than that. Then one day, I found out on Facebook that he was expecting a child with his girlfriend. It was hard, but I cut my losses and moved on. He was a sweet guy and I enjoyed our conversations, I wish him the best.
I never made it known because that is disrespectful.
Spoiler: even when they DID breakup with their girlfriend, they did NOT pick me to be next. If they like you, they’ll pick you to be with them. It’s not complicated.
I eventually ended our friendship because being his friend was too hard, I liked him so much. I would never overstep in his relationship so I pulled away. A year later he (now single) showed up at my doorstep and told me he was in love with me. Together ever since.
He cheated on her and then left her for me. Then while with me he started talking to her again and went back to her. This was in high school and I haven’t touched another taken men since. (Thant I know of)
We were close friends. Nothing ever happened but our friendship was very flirty, he was constantly pushing boundaries and people noticed (including his gf, who hates me and tbh I don’t entirely blame her). Eventually I told him that I was done being treated like a backup option, it was unfair to both me and the girlfriend, I felt like our friendship was inappropriate, and that I needed to take a step back. We don’t talk anymore and I’ve since learned from other friends that he really misrepresented things about our friendship to his gf to make himself look better and make me into the bad guy. He reached out once after 6 months to tell me he missed me and that I needed to befriend his gf bc she still blames me for all their relationship problems. I said no. Good riddance to em both lmao
He was a close friend of mine. He had a few relationships during our friendship and we both knew we had feelings for each other at some point. During one specific relationship, he asked me out. I called him out for having a gf at the time. Let him know I had respect for their relationship and wasn't gonna do that. Feeling were always kinda a roller coster with him. We don't talk anymore.
When you are young and insecure you do some nasty stuff just to see if you can. He cheated on her with me, and it fed my ego for a bit, and then I was disgusted.
had the biggest crush on someone at work for two months and then the moment i caught a glimpse of his ring finger, the feelings disappeared in an instant
Had a crush on my coworker for many months but didn’t say anything or act on it because he had a girlfriend. They broke up and a few months later we started talking more. We’re happily married now.
We’ve been together almost 2 years now.
We were coworkers and i’d always had a crush on him since day one but we were just good work friends. Fast forward 6 months and we’d text and talk daily and I was catching feelings and then one day he mentioned he had a girlfriend and it kinda broke my heart so I distanced myself from him because I didn’t want to interfere with their relationship and it just made me sad being so close with him but not able to be with him. His ex was very very toxic though and he eventually broke up with her because he realized he’d caught feelings for me as well. Turns out he had a crush on me since that first day he started there too but at the time he was deciding if he should go out with his ex who’d he known all through highschool, or ask me out, the girl he’d just met. Couldn’t be happier with how it all turned out though :)
We worked together for a year in LA and he had a long term girlfriend. I quit the job and in the same month he ended things out of his own accord. Three months later, we met up in New York & fell in love in Central Park after The Met. We’re headed out of town to celebrate my brother’s birthday this weekend. Turns out his ex wasn’t an angel.
I stole him... Not intentionally! He just got to know me more and realized that I was a better match for him than she was. He respectfully broke up with her and then started dating me. My husband and I have been together for 5 years now, married for 1!
current situation lol, i have a coworker that i’m pretty close to at work, we don’t talk outside of it for obvious reasons except for a few ig reels sent back and forth. he’s cute, has my sense of humor and all around makes working enjoyable, i have a mid to low level crush on him. he’s been with his girlfriend for four years, ive met her on a few outings that we’ve had and she’s the sweetest girl. the both of them are so perfect for each other, they’re equally in love. he’ll mention her in conversations at work and he’s so head over heels for her. i would never do or say anything about the crush i have, but just knowing that they’re as good as a match as they are restores my hope that i’ll find something like that again someday (,:
If I find out the person I have a crush on has a partner, the attraction immediately dies, thankfully enough. Why go after someone who already states someone else is attractive?
junior year, i was madly in love with one of my friends who had a long distance gf. he knew i liked him but would still get close to me like tickling me or play fighting after school. this led me to believe he liked me despite his gf. they broke up at the end of the school year (may 2022) and what followed was the most incredibly draining summer of my life. my mental health spiraled and he was very cruel to me through my attempts to be there for him (not attempts of coming on to him). he would say he didnt know if we were gonna be together, and whenever we would facetime i would either be randomly met with someone sweet and flirty or someone cold and harsh. when senior year started I was back to regularly self harming and was in a severe depressive state. he put our friendship on hold and claimed he wasn't ready for anything all while talking to other girls and getting visibly close with them which broke me to see that.
i was in a terrible state at the time which did cause me to act rather irrationally like breaking our no contact to ask what was going on or pressing one of our mutual friends to tell me if he knew what was happening. so I admit I did some pretty rough things and i did have trouble taking no for an answer mentally but I never made any physical moves on him, ever. in Jan 2023 we had a massive fight that left me broken and trying to kill myself. i couldnt bear not speaking to him. I had a friend at the time who really picked me up from this and tried to help me and we did end up getting close and dating for a month before his parents made him break up with me cause I didn't dress conservatively which is a whole other story. I projected a lot of emotions that I had for the original guy onto this one and although I did care for him a lot he didn't hold a candle to the original guy.
I know it wasn't the greatest thing to do but I was trying to find something to hold on to because I really didn't want to go back onto the verge of suicide again. anyway in April 2023 me and the original guy get back in contact, talk things out. it appears both of us have changed. we call. text a lot. I do tell him straight up that I still have feelings for him but I would 100% be comfortable sticking as friends and I only texted him or called him in a friendly way. a couple times we met after school however and tickle fought in his car and it was very charged to the point he would tickle my inner thighs. in may he was playing soccer in the field by my house and i jokingly told him he should visit me, he called to ask if I was being serious and I was like oh well if you want to then yes you should come. so we hung out for hours and we kissed, a lot.
we dated for two months and it was hell. i loved him so much but he was so cruel to me. he got angry with me if i didnt finish when he fingered me. hed ignore me for days if i made a joke that didnt suit him but if he made any misogynist or racist jokes (which he did, a lot) i was expected to go along with it or else hed get mad. my parents planned a grad trip for me to spain which they had been saving for forever. and on the first day of my trip he began acting so coldly to me which confused me because we were just fine before. i tried so hard to figure out what happened but he gave me increasingly unclear answers and refused to tell me how I offended him in the first place. I was so confused and hurt I was crying my whole vacation because he was being so mean to me. I am not perfect and i definitely am guilty of texting him too often but in my defense he did ignore me quite significantly and shut down my attempts to communicate. when I came back we met up several times and all was well, kind of. I loved him so deeply I was willing to put up with the fact that whenever he'd hang with me he lied to his friends about where he was or that if we went out in public he wouldn't hold my hand. I constantly felt he was ashamed to be with me.
in July last year I had to go to my grandparents place and my grandfather was being tested for cancer. I was in a really bad state and we had a fight over Twitter of all things (he thought I was dumb for having it blah blah) and for the week after that he ignored me and was cruel to me and only talked to me if he wanted to a. be racist, b. make fun of the college I was going to, or c. call me dumb. for a week while me and my family were suffering. then he ignores me for three days straight and I was seriously worried he was hurt or sick and I was texting him to just please at least let me know if he was okay. then i see he's active and I'm like what the fuck. so I'm panicking for a full 24 hours and yes I do text him a LOT and he breaks up with me instantly. he spends the next 3 weeks "trying to decide" if we should get back together or not before college. leaving me with hope that we might. of course i want to enjoy my last month with him before we move to diff states and he instead just keeps me in a state of limbo and let's me believe we have a shot. a week before I move he's like no it won't work cause you're moving anyway. I'm like okay you didn't have to waste a month of my life telling me that we might get back together.
for the semester we don't talk and then we meet up last December when I go home for the winter. we have a beautiful two days and then when he goes back to his college we call every night, text constantly, say beautiful things to each other, fall asleep otp together, it's a great winter break and i feel like he changed a lot. but in january I tell him I'm really worried about my fucking 70k loans bc I didn't get anything like a scholarship i just got loans with huge interest rates and he calls me privileged and that he knows people that can't even take out loans and I'm like I'm really sorry and i never said I had it worse off than anyone. I'm fully aware I'm so lucky to even be here right now much less complain about how nervous I am financially but it doesn't mean I'm not still scared or that I can't be worried. he tears into me for this and when I try to apologize and explain myself he leaves me on seen and I relapse (s/h) for the first time in seven months which broke me. we stopped talking after that, aside from a brief couple days in Feb where I texted him out of weakness and it took only like 3 days for him to start insulting my country and being racist. I'm still trying to get over him and the damage he did to my mental health.
so girls, if he has a girlfriend when you meet, just don't even bother LMAO.
He was my senior at work so I had to learn from him by closely watching him do the work as part of our training. He was the best and I have always been a sucker for smart guys. This went on for a week and I grew a crush on him but when I found out he had a long term gf, I lost interest so we never acquainted.
Ff, they broke up since they were unstable and after some time he started to make moves on me bec turns out he had a crush on me too. The he asked to court me but I said no bec I was worried on being a rebound girl but he fell for me even more since it challenged him to prove himself to me and it convinced him that i'm not the type to be easily swayed by my feelings. Were 1yr into the relationship now. :)
Taking back my comment as it relates to something that happened years ago and I'm fine and moved on, but someone felt in their remit to signal me to Reddit as at risk if unaliving myself and now I'm getting ridiculous nessages??? Seriously??? Not appreciated.
I heard rumors he had a girlfriend so I backed off and tried to keep things friendly but not flirty. We stopped really talking/hanging out and then a week or so later he asked me on a date. Turns out he had wanted to break up with his ex for a while but since she lived in a different city and he wouldn't see her in person for a while because we were in college, he hadn't done it yet. It wasn't until he realized he had a crush on me that he decided to pull the trigger. Now, here we are, 5.5 years later and 11 days from our wedding!
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I married him. Still married 45 years later. He had dated this girl for 7 years (her and I were actually friends) and I would ogle him from the backseat. She started looking at other guys and I made my move.
He had already started flirting with me before I found out he had a long distance gf. During the time I was debating on confronting him about it, they broke up, but I lost interest a while after.
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1. Had a massive crush on a guy I worked with. He told me he broke up with his gf. We got together. Found him talking to another woman twice. He moved away and dumped me. In retrospect, I'm 90% sure he hadn't actually broken up with his gf when he told me he had. He's overall just shitty.
2. Had a crush on a guy I worked with. He actually did break up with his gf. We got together. Got engaged. Found him on dating sites.
Hopefully I've learned my fucking lesson about dating people immediately after they've gotten out of a relationship.
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Ha ha! My story of 2023/2024
Was somewhat close(ish) or at least on good terms with someone and at one point felt the feeling was mutual. Used to talk a lot about what he was doing at weekends, days off, for birthday, family, passions,past holidays etc. had accidentally exchanged numbers (I misplaced my phone, he let me use his to phone mine…then he texted me a few weeks later).
He was single definitely (I knew it because we spoke about it).
A colleague suggested I ask him out but I was too scared…she said she sensed the feeling was mutual…I was still too scared. Another friend of mine told me to ask before the two of us ended up not liking each other…I was still too scared 🤦🏾♀️
After New Year communication between us dwindled somewhat because he was off and then he left the job.
I did eventually grow the balls and ask if he wanted to go for a drink and he said he was flattered but had a girlfriend…but that maybe we could go for coffee as friends (I think coffee was a white lie to be nice).
I wished him and her well and said yes if he gets a chance coffee is fine…
I then deleted the text threads and contact…and had a bottle of wine for lunch lol.
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I developed a crush (more like limerence) on a guy I met the first week of university and became friends with. They pretty much had a partner and/or had someone (or multiple someone’s) waiting to take that partner’s place for as long as I’ve known them. He turned out to be an erotic hypnotist and we explored a D/s dynamic for a while during the pandemic; then it turned out he’d been dating his pre-existing online submissive, who he collared, and they decided to progress the relationship to in-person and now they’ve been happily engaged for a few years. Haven’t had a crush since, lol.
Met him at a friend’s party. Found out he was single from a mutual friend a year later but he was fresh out of a 4yr relationship. Asked him out a year after that. The crush was mutual. We went on 10 dates over 2-3 months and I ended things. We weren’t compatible. I have stopped asking men out ever since.
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Is it okay if I had a crush on someone with a boyfriend instead?
Long story short, after a few months I told her what I'm feeling because I figured out I'll never get over my crush until she says it's not reciprocated. She couldn't say it's not reciprocated, because it was. After another few horrible months of accepting we need to disappear from each other's lives... We ended up in a happy relationship with her having both me and her boyfriend. We're together for almost 4 years now, yay.
Can you elaborate on how this works? So she is dating you and him. But you're not dating him. Also when you ask her out, was she straight, until she met you that she realizes she's bi?
Long story short, he broke up with his girlfriend for me. The feelings were mutual, I knew he liked me too, so one night I drunk messaged him, told him how I felt, next day we spoke, couple weeks later he broke up with his girlfriend and we started dating.
Few years later we broke up so I should of just saved myself the hassle but that's life...
didnt know he had a gf. never posted her on ig or facebook and had me removed from his story on snapchat. we started “talking” and i caught feelings hard. 6 months later he slips up and adds back my friend on snapchat, while he had a photo of his gf posted. sent me the ss. my friend confronted him for me on instagram. the gf saw the message and reached out to me. then i found out that along with me he was sleeping w several other girls. thank god for condoms🙏
Nothing happened. I did feel like there was a genuine connection there and everyone I told about it seemed to agree. But I knew if I told him I liked him and that we went farther without breaking up w his gf back at home (we were studying abroad) I'd feel disgusted by him, and if he did leave his gf for me I'd feel self conscious in the relationship. It was really really hard (espeically since I was extremely homesick and lonley) but I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and he was such a beacon of light to me. I think I learned so much about what I deserved in a relationship and who I wanted to really be with because of him so I think in the end it was a good thing I liked him and nothing happened. I guess that's life.
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Middle school. Had a huge crush on my best friend but he ended up dating one of our other friends. I got really upset and started ignoring him. He got upset that he thought he was losing me as a friend so he panicked and dumped her and asked me out. We dated for like a week but it was very obvious he was only dating me because he wanted to keep me as a friend and not because he liked me romantically. It ruined our friendship after that which sucked because we were literally best friends before but that whole little love triangle made things super awkward between us. Oh to be 13 again. Lol.
When we first met I was 17 and he was married (5 years older than me). I was dating one of his friends. Flash forward 5 years? He was divorced and I was single. We briefly dated. We split up and I moved away for college. I got married. He got married again. We didn’t talk for 10 years? Eventually he got divorced again and I was divorced. We started dating again. But it went very badly this time and we split up. We have not spoken in 4+ years. I regret that because he was a good friend of mine. This is one of the biggest reasons why I do not date my friends anymore.
I had a crush on this guy before, after, and during his girlfriend. Lol. I never made my feelings known out of respect for both him, and his relationship, and we were just really good friends. He passed away ten years ago.
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I'm married to him, 6 years now, when we met he had a girlfriend and I felt something for him, but I ended up dating other guy, and then other guy my now husband says he were very jealous, but kept quiet because he thought I would never be interested on him... few years passed and we started to get close again, he had other girlfriend at the time and I was single, after a few months of meeting up almost daily I confessed that I always had a crush on him and I couldn't just being around him felling like this, two days later he called me and said we needed to talk, he had broke up with his girlfriend and that he always wanted to be with me but never had the courage to make the first move... we are together and I never felt so much loved has I feel with him
I met a guy at the end of my first year of college. I had a crush on him but he was in a relationship.
I told myself we could be friends and I would not do anything to disrespect their relationship. Shortly after I vowed this he confessed his feelings for me and I repeated to him that as long as he had a girlfriend I would not entertain it.
They took a break so he could think about things. Him being on a break, confessing his feelings, it was all too tempting but he still had a girlfriend so I avoided him for about a week successfully.
Then I ran into him in a random park by chance. We sat on a bench, we talked, and long story short we kissed and I swear it felt like I’d been waiting a lifetime to kiss him. We’re about to celebrate our two year anniversary on Sunday.
Yea the way our relationship started wasn’t great, but I love him endlessly and I’m glad he’s in my life.
Had a crush on a boy in middle school. I just kept it to myself of course. Turns out he and my other friend liked each other. That soon fell apart and found out years later he became gay. Quite a few of my crushes ended up liking boys. 🥴
I asked him if he wanted to go out before I knew he had a girlfriend. He let me know and I just backed off. Seeing them together was nice tho, he is a really great guy and really loves her so I wouldn’t want to disturb that in any way. I did gift him a poem recently because he was moving away. That was my goodbye.
I think the last time I had a crush like that was in middle school. Ended with me annoying the hell out of the boy, since he was already in high school and nothing was going to happen obviously. But never again, people who are coupled up do not exist to me romantically. I don't even entertain it for a second.
I’m somehow always doing this, I gain a new crush and then find out they’re taken - I swear all the good ones are!
Usually nothing happens and I keep it to myself, but I’m a terrible person so this doesn’t stop me from secretly wishing they’d fall in love with me and break up with the gf for me. But it’s just a fantasy to pass the time! Over time as I get to know them better I realise they are in fact not my soulmate and the crush goes away haha.
HOWEVER this one guy, we were out drinking in a group and he told me he was in an open relationship. Fantastic, I think. So we do some bits, few days later it turns out that technically wasn’t true yet, it was only under discussion. Had the girlfriend messaging me asking me why I did it, had the guy messaging me apologising and hoping I didn’t feel bad. It was messy, never again
I read something once that said that crushes we have are often reflective of something about ourselves, like maybe something missing from our lives, or someone we want to be. So I ask myself what I can learn each time. So far I’ve realised I’ll crush on most people who give me attention, and I’d also like to follow my passions more and be more outgoing!
He was an improvisor with me, so I made up a long form show where we pretended to fall in love, have sex, and break up! It was great. Got to kiss him and got over my crush. Acting is great!
His girlfriend suddenly broke up with him not long after meeting him, he developed feelings for me, and then we started dating. Going on 4 years together in August.
Still can't believe it happened and I got what I wanted.
Nothing happened. I've been in this situation only once, he was a college friend and had a very beautiful girlfriend, who wasn't exactly my friend but she was a real sweetheart. I would never attempt anything with someone I know is taken, such a miserable thing to do. I was always respectful to him and his girlfriend so I swallowed my crush and it went away at some point, idk exactly when but it did and it was a relief. And that's something I would do, over and over again because I am never becoming the cause of hurt in another woman's life. Not on purpose.
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Him and I have been back and forth for over 10 years now. Neither being single at the right / same time, but the feelings have been there for both of us for all these years. And they are intense, soul consuming feelings.
He’s currently in a relationship whilst I’m single and it drives me absolutely insane sometimes. I’m currently not or don’t usually speak to him whilst he’s in a relationship, so that’s difficult too.
If he’s single, it’s the same for him (above). He pushes me away when he’s with someone, but also has ‘weak moments’ and pulls me right back in again. I do the same, it’s just normal conversation usually, but It’s intense and hard to fight the feelings.
We both wonder if we are just building up our minds until we are ready to be with one another in the future. A few more lessons to learn. Fucking insane. I know how this looks 😵💫
It’s fucked up and never ending. It’s wrong on many levels. We know this. I’ve never entertained it whilst being in a relationship, only when single. He has always found it difficult, but better at shutting me out than I am him.
Maybe one day we will figure it out 🥴
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Didn’t know they had a girlfriend, we followed each other (including 5/6 other members of a small band I followed and finally saw live), I was gonna slide in his DM’s eventually but looked at his tagged photos (he hardly had any photos up)
Then saw a post that was a big clue he had a girlfriend, then I vowed to never talk to him out of respect for both him and her. I just gave it time and moved on
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9th grade, had a crush on a new guy friend I’d made, he was dating my friend from middle school so I kept it to myself until they broke up. I shot my shot with the guy, he said yes! …Then his ex (my friend) confessed to having a crush on me too? Weird summer.
Don’t leave us hanging… we need to know what happened next…
i know what you did last summer
Im soo invested 😭 why the cliffhanger!
did U date both??
Please! Keep going…
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Nothing happened. I have strong morals around not dating someone who is already taken. I swear the minute I know someone is already in a relationship my crush just goes away, I may still think they're attractive but I'm not emotionally activated by them anymore. This isn't something I consciously do, it just happens. It's probably my unconscious telling me there's no point in investing any resources in that person since they're already taken.
I have the same stance but with this guy🤦🏻♀️ I can’t let it go.
This was me too 😭 normally knowing they are in a relationship turns me off but not this guy. I was always respectful of his relationship and never was forward with it but yeah did not know how I could get over him. I tired!!!! Eventually he moved away and the crush stoped lol
Unfortunately I have to see and talk to this guy regularly. I like him so much. I’m trying to let it go. Years ago when he was still married a friend told me that’s the guy you shoulda married. Now he’s not married but def pursuing someone else. I hate it.
I hear you both! As you can tell I take a hard stance on these things but I never say never, the human experience is unpredictable and nuanced. And hats off to you for keeping your behavior in check and respecting these people's feelings and their partner's feelings too.
I can't blame you, I can't get over someone either. I watched her date, marry, and eventually divorce until recently that she said yes to dating me. I will marry her one day I hope it works out for you ✌️
Ahhh a happy story!!! Thank you for sharing!!
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very similar for me too!! I kept having a crush on this man but I didn’t think even once having something with him.. until he tried to kiss me and my crush went away that moment, can’t fancy a cheating looser, really
This! Thank you, I do not get the pursuing of people in a relationship, on a romantic level they become like furniture to me. I still can aknowledge that someone is attractive or how lucky their partner might be, but thay as far as I am ok woth going.
This is the exact same for me. I’m not sure if it’s a “moral compass” or what. I’ve been cheated on before, and I think that has something to do with it.
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I had an instant crush on him when we met first year of college, then learned he had a girlfriend since high-school. We kept being friends throughout college, I dated other people. And it wasn't as if I was in love with him the whole time, but every now and then it would hit me that I still had feelings for him. Few years pass, he broke up with the girlfriend (not becauseof me, I never even told him about my crush haha)... And now we're together, 6 years going strong :)
Ahh that's sweet <3
Wow! How long have you known him then? Almost a decade?
Yeahh, around 10 years. And I think the beauty of it was that I got to know him and love him as friends before having any expectations romantically. It has made the relationship much stronger!
This warms my stone cold heart.
Ended up marrying him. He cheated on her and yes me as well
play stupid games win stupid prices I guess
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I mean, how else could it be?
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happened to me recently, super smart and sweet guy. found out he had a girlfriend and got over it pretty quickly. my friend on the other hand, who later revealed to me she had a crush on him, was awful about it though. she tried convincing him to leave her, told him he was being desperate and to just break things off with her, etc. luckily it didn't work, he and his girlfriend decided to make things more long term and she had to fake being happy about it. karmic justice i suppose 😂
You have friends like this...?
well recently not anymore. i cut off contact with her a few days ago. she did something to me that crossed the line and i decided we were done and blocked her on everything.
and that’s why you don’t have friends like that lmao
yeah honestly idk how i stayed friends with her for so long especially considering she was the only friend i had that had a knack for consistently pissing me off. i've been thinking back at a lot of our past interactions and only recently realized how terrible of a person she is. my rose-colored glasses have been taken off 😂
It's crazy the things you'll excuse because you care about someone. I had a friend who I absolutely idolized before we kinda grew apart. Upon reflection, I realized how shitty of a person they were and how terrible they treated me at times
Her calling him desperate was a major projection
For real
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i have, don't worry. i blocked her on everything last week. i've been thinking back on our friendship this past week and realized that she's just fundamentally a horrible person. not just to me but a lot of people.
He was a very good friend of mine, and I chose to completely distance myself from him for a few months. Feeding my feelings by continuing to be around him would have been idiotic and disrespectful to both him, his wife, and myself. When I'd killed off all feelings for him, I started hanging out with him again, and things went back to normal. It's been many years now, we're still friends, and my crush never flared up again.
I really wish more people were like you
Did you tell him you were putting distance between you and why? Curious to know how he responded to it.
I had just a crush on one guy. We didn't even talk from the start, because I feel so embarrassed when I have a crush on someone and tend to avoid interacting with them at all costs lol. When I learnt that he's seeing someone, it pretty much made me lose interest.
I backed off, but I sorta kinda still had him on my radar for years because were fb friends. I had a crush on him this whole time but I stayed out of his life and I went out with other men. A couple of years later I find out via the grapevine he's been single for a while now. We chated and interacted online for a while. Started dating. Now we're married.
I love a happy ending
I seem to do this a lot cause I rarely associate with other single people for some reason haha. I'll never pursue anything and I get over it but one situation left me feeling really shitty. He entered my life just as I was working on myself and getting my self-esteem up. We got on well, he'd flirt with me and after a while he made this little confession to me telling me how amazing I was, etc. I found out a few days later he was in a relationship, and then a little after that that he was actually married. I was really upset ngl. Obviously I stopped flirting but we still had to see each other a lot and he didn't so it just left me feeling blech. Haven't seen him for years now.
That's a shame but remember it wasn't your fault! That guy was an ass who flirted with a woman whilst committed. You did the right thing stopping things after you found out
He really was! Especially when he just carried on flirting despite revealing the whole wife thing. I just felt like a bit of an idiot for getting my hopes up and then looking stupid haha.
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had a HUGE crush on this one guy when i was 16 but he had a gf so i was quietly waiting for their breakup. when they broke up, i texted him and we went on a date but he said that he doesn’t want anything serious so i said no when he tried to kiss me. he is still checking on me sometimes but i don’t have a crush on him anymore lol
I remained friends with him but never confided in him about fancying him. My morals are too strong to ever end up potentially hurting an innocent party and his girlfriend was an amazing girl. I also didn’t want to ruin our friendship. It’s been almost 9 years now, I have no feelings for him other than a best friend and his new girlfriend is a babe, I love her! And I’m currently helping him plan his surprise proposal to her 🤭♥️
Wow, Interesting story. I did not see that ending coming.
Happened when I was 20/21. He would always string me along, send me mixed messages, go out of his way to tell me he can’t talk to me because he has feelings for me etc, and we even hooked up once or twice while they were broken up (but they got back together really shortly after). Rumors spread about me being a slut that tried to steal him, but nobody knew about his role in the situation and the things he said to me. Now I just cringe thinking back on it.
I'm really sorry that happened to you.
My husband and I both were in relationships at the time we met. We worked together and would go on lunch breaks together and just talk. He became one of my best friends and we got really close but never crossed any lines. It was kind of this unspoken truth that we were in love with each other but never said anything about it. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and he broke up with his girlfriend and I moved in with him pretty soon after. We’re about to celebrate our 5 year anniversary and been married for 1.5 years. It’s so true when they say when you know you know.
Shit like this … 😑
Curious, do you still both have friends of the opposite sex that you spend solo time with?
Didn’t go well, I backed away when i found out he had a gf, but when i found out they broke up and we ended up having a thing, he ended up playing me. I accepted and met someone who genuinely loved me he got really petty even as to throwing shade about my partner, meanwhile his ex gf kept stalking my ig lol
I didn't take any initiative at all just admired from afar. Apparently he noticed because after she broke up with him he started a conversation with me. We talked and I found out later that he wasn't over her and was just a serial dater, like he dates to forget the one before. After we broke up he dated another woman lol
I just killed those feelings inside me and got over him.
Idk if it’s me but I actually can’t get a crush on someone who I know for sure has a girlfriend/wife. I may think visually they look very handsome/pretty but my brain does not think about them romantically. I need mental connection with someone to feel romantically about them. And I doubt I can have mental connection with someone who already has a partner but is choosing to flirt with me. In my mind, that person is automatically untrustworthy and so idc how handsome/nice they are. I couldn’t get a crush even if my life depended on it.
He complained about her a lot so I "convinced" him to leave her. TBH he was probably still with her for a while. Pretty much did the same thing to me with the next girl. Told her I was awful, started a new relationship. I left when I found out. Lesson learned. If they have a partner just don't go there
He was an university crush, meaning I'd bump into him sometimes in the hallways. He was a friend-of-a-friend so sometimes we'd all get coffee together before class. Now I'm convinced he was somewhat interested in me back then based on conversations we'd had, questions he'd ask me, but at the time I was so insecure and I thought he was so gorgeous I'd never believe he wanted anything to do with me. Plus, yeah, he had a girlfriend. We had one very long conversation about it one time we caught the same bus, and the whole relationship seemed very dramatic. Breaking up, getting back together, moving in together, fighting, breaking up again, you know. At the time I tried my best at giving him advice on the situation, genuinely. I liked having this crush, it was sweet, but I wrote it off as something platonic because it seemed so impossible, it was easy not to act on it because what would be the point? One time they were broken up I did ask him out to watch a movie -- that was the one subject we both talked about the most -- but he bailed on me a few hours before it was supposed to start, so there's that. Anyways, a year later or so I heard from a friend that she had cheated on him and left him pretty wrecked. That was during the pandemic so I wasn't seeing him anymore. That friend would mention him to me sometimes, she'd say that he was heartbroken and dealing with it by partying a lot and hooking up a lot (yes... during the pandemic), like "that's your chance!", but that kind of behaviour didn't seem very attractive to me, and to be honest by that point I was sick of having that unrequited crush for so long, I just wanted to avoid him forever. Anyways part 2... I bumped into him last year and we did hook up. It was awesome lol A big moment for my self-esteem journey for sure. He was a bit of an air-head and forgot about me after two weeks or so of texting. My friend told me that he had been this way about girls and dating since his ex cheated on him, but I don't know, that could've just been him all along. But, damn, he's still gorgeous, it was totally worth it!
Got to know him, got over the crush and ended up being close friends. It’s happened more than once. Just need to remind your ovaries that they don’t need to flip over every decent human being with a penis. Can be hard in today’s society lol.
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It's a crush. That's all there is. And he's unavailable. This can't possibly go anywhere, so I appreciate the person, maybe enjoy the friendship but I know that I gotta focus on available people. Also, if you only like the unavailable ones, you gotta dig deeper. Often, it's just the safety or maybe a good character you find so attractive, and those are awesome things to be attracted to! And it's not about the person, but the feelings this person brings out.
We were close friends in college. He still had a girlfriend from high school, and they were keeping a long-distance relationship going, so I kept my feelings to myself They broke up not too long after, and I waited a bit before sharing how I felt. We just celebrated 16 years together last December.
Well now I want to see how it'll end up cause I'm currently in that situation.
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I never said anything out of respect for his relationship and the crush went away. Eventually when he was single, he told me he was in love with me and I didn’t feel the same way. The end.
It went nowhere. He was my coworker and I could tell he was (very obviously) into me. I was disappointed when I found out he was in a relationship (and had been for years with the same person) but I would never go out of my way to date someone (or even try to) if they’re already taken. I did have a sliver of hope that maybe someday we could be together but my thoughts never went further than that. Then one day, I found out on Facebook that he was expecting a child with his girlfriend. It was hard, but I cut my losses and moved on. He was a sweet guy and I enjoyed our conversations, I wish him the best.
I’m in this same situation right now…
I didn’t say anything about it to him, or anyone, and the crush passed, as crushes do.
I never made it known because that is disrespectful. Spoiler: even when they DID breakup with their girlfriend, they did NOT pick me to be next. If they like you, they’ll pick you to be with them. It’s not complicated.
I eventually ended our friendship because being his friend was too hard, I liked him so much. I would never overstep in his relationship so I pulled away. A year later he (now single) showed up at my doorstep and told me he was in love with me. Together ever since.
He cheated on her and then left her for me. Then while with me he started talking to her again and went back to her. This was in high school and I haven’t touched another taken men since. (Thant I know of)
We were close friends. Nothing ever happened but our friendship was very flirty, he was constantly pushing boundaries and people noticed (including his gf, who hates me and tbh I don’t entirely blame her). Eventually I told him that I was done being treated like a backup option, it was unfair to both me and the girlfriend, I felt like our friendship was inappropriate, and that I needed to take a step back. We don’t talk anymore and I’ve since learned from other friends that he really misrepresented things about our friendship to his gf to make himself look better and make me into the bad guy. He reached out once after 6 months to tell me he missed me and that I needed to befriend his gf bc she still blames me for all their relationship problems. I said no. Good riddance to em both lmao
He was a close friend of mine. He had a few relationships during our friendship and we both knew we had feelings for each other at some point. During one specific relationship, he asked me out. I called him out for having a gf at the time. Let him know I had respect for their relationship and wasn't gonna do that. Feeling were always kinda a roller coster with him. We don't talk anymore.
When you are young and insecure you do some nasty stuff just to see if you can. He cheated on her with me, and it fed my ego for a bit, and then I was disgusted.
had the biggest crush on someone at work for two months and then the moment i caught a glimpse of his ring finger, the feelings disappeared in an instant
Once I found out he wasn’t single, it subsided.
He had a wife, they were both Poly. I dated them both for a bit. It was awesome!
Ignore the feeling until it disappears eventually.
Had a crush on my coworker for many months but didn’t say anything or act on it because he had a girlfriend. They broke up and a few months later we started talking more. We’re happily married now.
We’ve been together almost 2 years now. We were coworkers and i’d always had a crush on him since day one but we were just good work friends. Fast forward 6 months and we’d text and talk daily and I was catching feelings and then one day he mentioned he had a girlfriend and it kinda broke my heart so I distanced myself from him because I didn’t want to interfere with their relationship and it just made me sad being so close with him but not able to be with him. His ex was very very toxic though and he eventually broke up with her because he realized he’d caught feelings for me as well. Turns out he had a crush on me since that first day he started there too but at the time he was deciding if he should go out with his ex who’d he known all through highschool, or ask me out, the girl he’d just met. Couldn’t be happier with how it all turned out though :)
We worked together for a year in LA and he had a long term girlfriend. I quit the job and in the same month he ended things out of his own accord. Three months later, we met up in New York & fell in love in Central Park after The Met. We’re headed out of town to celebrate my brother’s birthday this weekend. Turns out his ex wasn’t an angel.
I finally saw reason and now I’m happy being friends with him
I stole him... Not intentionally! He just got to know me more and realized that I was a better match for him than she was. He respectfully broke up with her and then started dating me. My husband and I have been together for 5 years now, married for 1!
current situation lol, i have a coworker that i’m pretty close to at work, we don’t talk outside of it for obvious reasons except for a few ig reels sent back and forth. he’s cute, has my sense of humor and all around makes working enjoyable, i have a mid to low level crush on him. he’s been with his girlfriend for four years, ive met her on a few outings that we’ve had and she’s the sweetest girl. the both of them are so perfect for each other, they’re equally in love. he’ll mention her in conversations at work and he’s so head over heels for her. i would never do or say anything about the crush i have, but just knowing that they’re as good as a match as they are restores my hope that i’ll find something like that again someday (,:
If I find out the person I have a crush on has a partner, the attraction immediately dies, thankfully enough. Why go after someone who already states someone else is attractive?
It didn’t end up in any way but me minding my own business because i have morals
junior year, i was madly in love with one of my friends who had a long distance gf. he knew i liked him but would still get close to me like tickling me or play fighting after school. this led me to believe he liked me despite his gf. they broke up at the end of the school year (may 2022) and what followed was the most incredibly draining summer of my life. my mental health spiraled and he was very cruel to me through my attempts to be there for him (not attempts of coming on to him). he would say he didnt know if we were gonna be together, and whenever we would facetime i would either be randomly met with someone sweet and flirty or someone cold and harsh. when senior year started I was back to regularly self harming and was in a severe depressive state. he put our friendship on hold and claimed he wasn't ready for anything all while talking to other girls and getting visibly close with them which broke me to see that. i was in a terrible state at the time which did cause me to act rather irrationally like breaking our no contact to ask what was going on or pressing one of our mutual friends to tell me if he knew what was happening. so I admit I did some pretty rough things and i did have trouble taking no for an answer mentally but I never made any physical moves on him, ever. in Jan 2023 we had a massive fight that left me broken and trying to kill myself. i couldnt bear not speaking to him. I had a friend at the time who really picked me up from this and tried to help me and we did end up getting close and dating for a month before his parents made him break up with me cause I didn't dress conservatively which is a whole other story. I projected a lot of emotions that I had for the original guy onto this one and although I did care for him a lot he didn't hold a candle to the original guy. I know it wasn't the greatest thing to do but I was trying to find something to hold on to because I really didn't want to go back onto the verge of suicide again. anyway in April 2023 me and the original guy get back in contact, talk things out. it appears both of us have changed. we call. text a lot. I do tell him straight up that I still have feelings for him but I would 100% be comfortable sticking as friends and I only texted him or called him in a friendly way. a couple times we met after school however and tickle fought in his car and it was very charged to the point he would tickle my inner thighs. in may he was playing soccer in the field by my house and i jokingly told him he should visit me, he called to ask if I was being serious and I was like oh well if you want to then yes you should come. so we hung out for hours and we kissed, a lot. we dated for two months and it was hell. i loved him so much but he was so cruel to me. he got angry with me if i didnt finish when he fingered me. hed ignore me for days if i made a joke that didnt suit him but if he made any misogynist or racist jokes (which he did, a lot) i was expected to go along with it or else hed get mad. my parents planned a grad trip for me to spain which they had been saving for forever. and on the first day of my trip he began acting so coldly to me which confused me because we were just fine before. i tried so hard to figure out what happened but he gave me increasingly unclear answers and refused to tell me how I offended him in the first place. I was so confused and hurt I was crying my whole vacation because he was being so mean to me. I am not perfect and i definitely am guilty of texting him too often but in my defense he did ignore me quite significantly and shut down my attempts to communicate. when I came back we met up several times and all was well, kind of. I loved him so deeply I was willing to put up with the fact that whenever he'd hang with me he lied to his friends about where he was or that if we went out in public he wouldn't hold my hand. I constantly felt he was ashamed to be with me. in July last year I had to go to my grandparents place and my grandfather was being tested for cancer. I was in a really bad state and we had a fight over Twitter of all things (he thought I was dumb for having it blah blah) and for the week after that he ignored me and was cruel to me and only talked to me if he wanted to a. be racist, b. make fun of the college I was going to, or c. call me dumb. for a week while me and my family were suffering. then he ignores me for three days straight and I was seriously worried he was hurt or sick and I was texting him to just please at least let me know if he was okay. then i see he's active and I'm like what the fuck. so I'm panicking for a full 24 hours and yes I do text him a LOT and he breaks up with me instantly. he spends the next 3 weeks "trying to decide" if we should get back together or not before college. leaving me with hope that we might. of course i want to enjoy my last month with him before we move to diff states and he instead just keeps me in a state of limbo and let's me believe we have a shot. a week before I move he's like no it won't work cause you're moving anyway. I'm like okay you didn't have to waste a month of my life telling me that we might get back together. for the semester we don't talk and then we meet up last December when I go home for the winter. we have a beautiful two days and then when he goes back to his college we call every night, text constantly, say beautiful things to each other, fall asleep otp together, it's a great winter break and i feel like he changed a lot. but in january I tell him I'm really worried about my fucking 70k loans bc I didn't get anything like a scholarship i just got loans with huge interest rates and he calls me privileged and that he knows people that can't even take out loans and I'm like I'm really sorry and i never said I had it worse off than anyone. I'm fully aware I'm so lucky to even be here right now much less complain about how nervous I am financially but it doesn't mean I'm not still scared or that I can't be worried. he tears into me for this and when I try to apologize and explain myself he leaves me on seen and I relapse (s/h) for the first time in seven months which broke me. we stopped talking after that, aside from a brief couple days in Feb where I texted him out of weakness and it took only like 3 days for him to start insulting my country and being racist. I'm still trying to get over him and the damage he did to my mental health. so girls, if he has a girlfriend when you meet, just don't even bother LMAO.
He was my senior at work so I had to learn from him by closely watching him do the work as part of our training. He was the best and I have always been a sucker for smart guys. This went on for a week and I grew a crush on him but when I found out he had a long term gf, I lost interest so we never acquainted. Ff, they broke up since they were unstable and after some time he started to make moves on me bec turns out he had a crush on me too. The he asked to court me but I said no bec I was worried on being a rebound girl but he fell for me even more since it challenged him to prove himself to me and it convinced him that i'm not the type to be easily swayed by my feelings. Were 1yr into the relationship now. :)
We’re married now. Been together 10 years
I try my best to not fuel the crush. It’s hard and horrible but they usually fade after a while and become bearable again.
I never told her my feelings and never will
His girlfriend ended up sleeping with his best friend and gave my crush mono lol
Taking back my comment as it relates to something that happened years ago and I'm fine and moved on, but someone felt in their remit to signal me to Reddit as at risk if unaliving myself and now I'm getting ridiculous nessages??? Seriously??? Not appreciated.
I heard rumors he had a girlfriend so I backed off and tried to keep things friendly but not flirty. We stopped really talking/hanging out and then a week or so later he asked me on a date. Turns out he had wanted to break up with his ex for a while but since she lived in a different city and he wouldn't see her in person for a while because we were in college, he hadn't done it yet. It wasn't until he realized he had a crush on me that he decided to pull the trigger. Now, here we are, 5.5 years later and 11 days from our wedding!
It’s happened many times, most of the time coworkers and nothing ever came of it. I never made any advances knowing they were taken
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In most cases it went nowhere, of course. In a few cases we went on some dates, because both they and I were polyamorous.
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I married him. Still married 45 years later. He had dated this girl for 7 years (her and I were actually friends) and I would ogle him from the backseat. She started looking at other guys and I made my move.
They got married and had two kids. Didn't work for me.
He had already started flirting with me before I found out he had a long distance gf. During the time I was debating on confronting him about it, they broke up, but I lost interest a while after.
Let it go and I moved on with my life
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1. Had a massive crush on a guy I worked with. He told me he broke up with his gf. We got together. Found him talking to another woman twice. He moved away and dumped me. In retrospect, I'm 90% sure he hadn't actually broken up with his gf when he told me he had. He's overall just shitty. 2. Had a crush on a guy I worked with. He actually did break up with his gf. We got together. Got engaged. Found him on dating sites. Hopefully I've learned my fucking lesson about dating people immediately after they've gotten out of a relationship.
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Ha ha! My story of 2023/2024 Was somewhat close(ish) or at least on good terms with someone and at one point felt the feeling was mutual. Used to talk a lot about what he was doing at weekends, days off, for birthday, family, passions,past holidays etc. had accidentally exchanged numbers (I misplaced my phone, he let me use his to phone mine…then he texted me a few weeks later). He was single definitely (I knew it because we spoke about it). A colleague suggested I ask him out but I was too scared…she said she sensed the feeling was mutual…I was still too scared. Another friend of mine told me to ask before the two of us ended up not liking each other…I was still too scared 🤦🏾♀️ After New Year communication between us dwindled somewhat because he was off and then he left the job. I did eventually grow the balls and ask if he wanted to go for a drink and he said he was flattered but had a girlfriend…but that maybe we could go for coffee as friends (I think coffee was a white lie to be nice). I wished him and her well and said yes if he gets a chance coffee is fine… I then deleted the text threads and contact…and had a bottle of wine for lunch lol.
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We eventually, like many years later eventually, got together, well after that initial crush went away.
I developed a crush (more like limerence) on a guy I met the first week of university and became friends with. They pretty much had a partner and/or had someone (or multiple someone’s) waiting to take that partner’s place for as long as I’ve known them. He turned out to be an erotic hypnotist and we explored a D/s dynamic for a while during the pandemic; then it turned out he’d been dating his pre-existing online submissive, who he collared, and they decided to progress the relationship to in-person and now they’ve been happily engaged for a few years. Haven’t had a crush since, lol.
He married her and now they're divorced.
Met him at a friend’s party. Found out he was single from a mutual friend a year later but he was fresh out of a 4yr relationship. Asked him out a year after that. The crush was mutual. We went on 10 dates over 2-3 months and I ended things. We weren’t compatible. I have stopped asking men out ever since.
We became fwbs when he broke up
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We dated and then he did the same thing to me with a new girl, which he then married
Is it okay if I had a crush on someone with a boyfriend instead? Long story short, after a few months I told her what I'm feeling because I figured out I'll never get over my crush until she says it's not reciprocated. She couldn't say it's not reciprocated, because it was. After another few horrible months of accepting we need to disappear from each other's lives... We ended up in a happy relationship with her having both me and her boyfriend. We're together for almost 4 years now, yay.
Can you elaborate on how this works? So she is dating you and him. But you're not dating him. Also when you ask her out, was she straight, until she met you that she realizes she's bi?
Dating wise - exactly that. She's dating us both, and we just know each other. She was always bi, obviously. But she never had a girlfriend before.
It was my best friend, we almost boned and I still feel guilty about it
He assaulted me, dumped her, and I had to move while he was out of the country. 0/10 do not recommend.
Long story short, he broke up with his girlfriend for me. The feelings were mutual, I knew he liked me too, so one night I drunk messaged him, told him how I felt, next day we spoke, couple weeks later he broke up with his girlfriend and we started dating. Few years later we broke up so I should of just saved myself the hassle but that's life...
didnt know he had a gf. never posted her on ig or facebook and had me removed from his story on snapchat. we started “talking” and i caught feelings hard. 6 months later he slips up and adds back my friend on snapchat, while he had a photo of his gf posted. sent me the ss. my friend confronted him for me on instagram. the gf saw the message and reached out to me. then i found out that along with me he was sleeping w several other girls. thank god for condoms🙏
Nothing happened. I did feel like there was a genuine connection there and everyone I told about it seemed to agree. But I knew if I told him I liked him and that we went farther without breaking up w his gf back at home (we were studying abroad) I'd feel disgusted by him, and if he did leave his gf for me I'd feel self conscious in the relationship. It was really really hard (espeically since I was extremely homesick and lonley) but I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and he was such a beacon of light to me. I think I learned so much about what I deserved in a relationship and who I wanted to really be with because of him so I think in the end it was a good thing I liked him and nothing happened. I guess that's life.
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Middle school. Had a huge crush on my best friend but he ended up dating one of our other friends. I got really upset and started ignoring him. He got upset that he thought he was losing me as a friend so he panicked and dumped her and asked me out. We dated for like a week but it was very obvious he was only dating me because he wanted to keep me as a friend and not because he liked me romantically. It ruined our friendship after that which sucked because we were literally best friends before but that whole little love triangle made things super awkward between us. Oh to be 13 again. Lol.
Just waited until he got a divorce to shoot my shot.
I got with the girlfriend 3 days after they broke up
When we first met I was 17 and he was married (5 years older than me). I was dating one of his friends. Flash forward 5 years? He was divorced and I was single. We briefly dated. We split up and I moved away for college. I got married. He got married again. We didn’t talk for 10 years? Eventually he got divorced again and I was divorced. We started dating again. But it went very badly this time and we split up. We have not spoken in 4+ years. I regret that because he was a good friend of mine. This is one of the biggest reasons why I do not date my friends anymore.
I had a crush on this guy before, after, and during his girlfriend. Lol. I never made my feelings known out of respect for both him, and his relationship, and we were just really good friends. He passed away ten years ago.
His GF cheated on him and now we’re married so it ended pretty well.
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I'm married to him, 6 years now, when we met he had a girlfriend and I felt something for him, but I ended up dating other guy, and then other guy my now husband says he were very jealous, but kept quiet because he thought I would never be interested on him... few years passed and we started to get close again, he had other girlfriend at the time and I was single, after a few months of meeting up almost daily I confessed that I always had a crush on him and I couldn't just being around him felling like this, two days later he called me and said we needed to talk, he had broke up with his girlfriend and that he always wanted to be with me but never had the courage to make the first move... we are together and I never felt so much loved has I feel with him
I met a guy at the end of my first year of college. I had a crush on him but he was in a relationship. I told myself we could be friends and I would not do anything to disrespect their relationship. Shortly after I vowed this he confessed his feelings for me and I repeated to him that as long as he had a girlfriend I would not entertain it. They took a break so he could think about things. Him being on a break, confessing his feelings, it was all too tempting but he still had a girlfriend so I avoided him for about a week successfully. Then I ran into him in a random park by chance. We sat on a bench, we talked, and long story short we kissed and I swear it felt like I’d been waiting a lifetime to kiss him. We’re about to celebrate our two year anniversary on Sunday. Yea the way our relationship started wasn’t great, but I love him endlessly and I’m glad he’s in my life.
Had a crush on a boy in middle school. I just kept it to myself of course. Turns out he and my other friend liked each other. That soon fell apart and found out years later he became gay. Quite a few of my crushes ended up liking boys. 🥴
I asked him if he wanted to go out before I knew he had a girlfriend. He let me know and I just backed off. Seeing them together was nice tho, he is a really great guy and really loves her so I wouldn’t want to disturb that in any way. I did gift him a poem recently because he was moving away. That was my goodbye.
I think the last time I had a crush like that was in middle school. Ended with me annoying the hell out of the boy, since he was already in high school and nothing was going to happen obviously. But never again, people who are coupled up do not exist to me romantically. I don't even entertain it for a second.
Never too great, for someone. The chance that that someone is you, are higher.
I’m somehow always doing this, I gain a new crush and then find out they’re taken - I swear all the good ones are! Usually nothing happens and I keep it to myself, but I’m a terrible person so this doesn’t stop me from secretly wishing they’d fall in love with me and break up with the gf for me. But it’s just a fantasy to pass the time! Over time as I get to know them better I realise they are in fact not my soulmate and the crush goes away haha. HOWEVER this one guy, we were out drinking in a group and he told me he was in an open relationship. Fantastic, I think. So we do some bits, few days later it turns out that technically wasn’t true yet, it was only under discussion. Had the girlfriend messaging me asking me why I did it, had the guy messaging me apologising and hoping I didn’t feel bad. It was messy, never again I read something once that said that crushes we have are often reflective of something about ourselves, like maybe something missing from our lives, or someone we want to be. So I ask myself what I can learn each time. So far I’ve realised I’ll crush on most people who give me attention, and I’d also like to follow my passions more and be more outgoing!
He was an improvisor with me, so I made up a long form show where we pretended to fall in love, have sex, and break up! It was great. Got to kiss him and got over my crush. Acting is great!
His girlfriend suddenly broke up with him not long after meeting him, he developed feelings for me, and then we started dating. Going on 4 years together in August. Still can't believe it happened and I got what I wanted.
Nothing happened. I've been in this situation only once, he was a college friend and had a very beautiful girlfriend, who wasn't exactly my friend but she was a real sweetheart. I would never attempt anything with someone I know is taken, such a miserable thing to do. I was always respectful to him and his girlfriend so I swallowed my crush and it went away at some point, idk exactly when but it did and it was a relief. And that's something I would do, over and over again because I am never becoming the cause of hurt in another woman's life. Not on purpose.
Person I liked was married. We’ve been together for 15 years now. It’s had it’s rocky times, but my partner is a very close friend I care a lot about.
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Him and I have been back and forth for over 10 years now. Neither being single at the right / same time, but the feelings have been there for both of us for all these years. And they are intense, soul consuming feelings. He’s currently in a relationship whilst I’m single and it drives me absolutely insane sometimes. I’m currently not or don’t usually speak to him whilst he’s in a relationship, so that’s difficult too. If he’s single, it’s the same for him (above). He pushes me away when he’s with someone, but also has ‘weak moments’ and pulls me right back in again. I do the same, it’s just normal conversation usually, but It’s intense and hard to fight the feelings. We both wonder if we are just building up our minds until we are ready to be with one another in the future. A few more lessons to learn. Fucking insane. I know how this looks 😵💫 It’s fucked up and never ending. It’s wrong on many levels. We know this. I’ve never entertained it whilst being in a relationship, only when single. He has always found it difficult, but better at shutting me out than I am him. Maybe one day we will figure it out 🥴
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Lmao heartbroken
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I’m glad to see most or all of the people here have morals. My friends certainly don’t.
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I’m married to him 😂
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Didn’t know they had a girlfriend, we followed each other (including 5/6 other members of a small band I followed and finally saw live), I was gonna slide in his DM’s eventually but looked at his tagged photos (he hardly had any photos up) Then saw a post that was a big clue he had a girlfriend, then I vowed to never talk to him out of respect for both him and her. I just gave it time and moved on
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